Colors
by whiskeytracks
Summary: He wanted nothing to do with love. She wanted a fairy-tale. He didn't get close to people. She was an open book. He was absolutely damaged and she was absolutely perfect. He was spiraling out of control, but maybe she was just what he needed. Naley.
1. Chapter 1

So this is my new story! I tried to force myself to wait a little long before I posted this, but honestly, I just couldn't. I can't even explain to you how excited I am about what I have planned for this. This story is a lot like Razor Sharp. They have completely different plot lines but the mystery and darkness of this story definitely mirrors Razor Sharp. I love writing angst. Don't get me wrong, I love happy endings and I love fluff just as much as the next person but I find more enjoyment out of writing the journey to the happy ending.

This story is AU and I have to warn you, Nathan's got some deep and twisted issues. He's not like a serial killer or anything like that, but he's got a past and a lot of secrets. He's probably one of the most complicated characters I've ever written and I had a lot of fun writing him. I hope you all love him as much as I do. Plus, we all know what the power of Haley James can do to Nathan Scott. ;) All of the other characters are pretty much the same as they are the show. There are slight differences but nothing too major. Also, quick note, if you read Razor Sharp, I gave you the summary of this in my latest update but I decided to change it up a bit!

Just like I was with Razor Sharp, I'm super proud of this story. I personally think this is some of my best work and I'm excited for you guys to read it. I have such a good feeling about this, just like I did Razor Sharp. Hopefully, y'all agree :) This chapter is kind of on the boring side but it's just because I'm setting the stage. I wanted to give you guys some insight on what Haley and Nathan are like!

 **Warning: I'm pushing the envelope here with some of the things that I plan to include in this story. This story will feature a lot of dark scenarios and things of the sexual nature, much more than Razor Sharp did. If things of that nature make you uncomfortable, I'm not sure if this story is right for you.**

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Haley James kept her head down as the wind brushed past her with a strong velocity. Her long blonde hair whipped around her, tickling the skin of her cheeks. With one hand, she tightened her jean jacket around her body while her other hand kept the camera hanging around her neck stationary. The sun was setting quickly in the horizon but Haley had no desire to return home. Her new home. A two story house lined with brown boxes just waiting to be unpacked. Her mother would be angry with her for not helping her unpack but at the moment, Haley couldn't find the means to care.

She continued her journey along the gravel path she had found while walking along the Market Street Dock. She had no clue where or what it lead to but wasn't that the point of exploring? So far, from her explorations, she came to the conclusion that Tree Hill, North Carolina was a far cry from Long Beach, California. For starters, the people were so much friendlier. She would need another set of hands to count just how many strangers had smiled at her while she roamed around aimlessly. The scenery was much…calmer. In Long Beach, it was all city lights, dirty streets, and jam packed beaches. Tree Hill was beautiful in its own right with peaceful meadows, joyous parks, and less jam packed docks.

It only took three hours of her exploration for her to decide that she liked Tree Hill. It finally felt like a place that she wouldn't have a problem calling home. She never was a city girl. However, she knew better than to get attached to this place. There was no telling how long she would be living there. It could be weeks, it could be months, and maybe even years…it all depended on her mother's job. Lydia James never could say no when her bosses offered her another promotion, regardless of what it meant for her family.

Haley's pace slowed when she heard the faint sound of voices and some kind of echoed tapping. She didn't have to look far to find the source of noises. A couple hundred feet in front of her was a basketball court. It looked a little bit worn, overused. Graffiti of various different colors painted the backboard of the basket. The chain net seemed to be barely holding on to the rim. There were a set of metal bleachers that looked exceptionally rusty, positioned right off to the side of court. Even with the oldness of it, Haley couldn't help but find it beautiful. The fact that it looked right over the river might have had something to do with that, but that's not what interested her the most. The fact that it looked like the type of place that came with a rich history was what really intrigued her.

Then, her gaze fell on two boys who were immersed in a heated one-on-one game. They looked to be about her age, but her distance from them made it hard for her to be sure. The boy facing her was blonde, his hair spiked in just the slightest of ways. His gray t-shirt was stained with sweat, clinging to his body. From what she could see, he was pretty cute. The other boy had his back turned to her. He was a little more built than the blonde boy and his hair was a dark raven color. His light blue shirt was also soaked with sweat. It was when he finally turned around that she decided that he was definitely the cuter one.

Haley's hands drifted to her camera. Gently, she popped off the cap that was covering the lens and stuffed it into the pocket of her jacket. Using both of her hands to grip the camera, she lifted it up and looked through the viewfinder. After twisting the focusing ring a few times, she finally found a setting that she liked. She clicked frame after frame as she observed their movements across the court. They were both so graceful. Every move they made looked effortless, like they weren't even thinking about what they were doing. It was hypnotizing to watch.

Her eyes widened as the raven haired boy suddenly leapt off the ground and slammed the basketball straight through the hoop. He dangled from the hoop for a few seconds before finally releasing his grip, landing perfectly on his feet. Both of their laugh's filled the air and she found herself smiling at the sound. She lifted her camera up once more when the blonde tossed his arm over the dark haired boy's shoulders. She snapped a few more photos before the incessant buzzing of her phone in her pocket captured her attention.

Securing her camera once more, she fished her phone out of her pocket and sighed when she saw her mother's contact picture lighting up the screen. Pressing the "answer" button, she held the phone up to her ear as she turned her back on the two boys. "I'm still alive, mom."

"Well, that's good to hear," Lydia James' voice came over the receiver. "It's getting dark and you have school tomorrow, you should think about heading home soon."

"Yeah, I'm on my way home right now," Haley muttered.

"Be careful, Haley Bob."

"I will," Haley promised before ending the phone call.

The walk back to her house took about a half hour. To Haley's surprise, she had no problems navigating her way back. The streets of this city were pretty straight forward, another stark difference from Long Beach. Haley paused when she reached the edge of the walkway leading up to her house. It was a quaint little house, so much smaller than the one she lived in previously. But it was the perfect size for just Haley and her mom. The burgundy front door, the white pillars, the brick walkway…it looked like the perfect house you would find in a movie focused on the quintessential American dream. Just like the first time she laid eyes on this house, Haley felt a warm and fuzzy feeling bubble up inside of her.

When she thought of home, this is what she pictured.

Haley slipped in through the front door a few moments later. The inside of the house was still quite bare. Her mom had managed to place the couch in the living room, along with the matching coffee table. Their TV was still wrapped in plastic and the plethora of boxes stuck out like sore thumbs. Lydia was sprawled across the couch, a glass of red wine in her hand. It figures her mom had already unpacked the wine, it was probably the first box she went for.

"Mom, I'm home," Haley called out as she began to head towards the stairs that lead up to her bedroom.

"Oh, honey, wait! Did you get some good photos?" Lydia asked as she sat up from her previous laying position, carefully placing the wine glass down on the wooden table. She was dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a large t-shirt, definitely not normal Lydia James attire.

Haley stopped dead in her tracks and turned on her heels to walk back into the living room. "Yeah. Tree Hill…it's beautiful," She replied with a small smile, bouncing on the heels of her feet.

Lydia nodded in agreement. "It really is. I can see that you're anxious to go download your photos so I'll let you go. Just remember that you have to be at school by 7:15 to meet with the principal to get your schedule, locker, and all of that good stuff."

Haley acknowledged her mother's words before returning to her path up the stairs. Her room mirrored the rest of the house, littered with boxes upon boxes. The only thing she had found time to unpack was her bedding, her laptop, and, of course, all of her photography supplies. Plopping down at her desk, the only other object in her room was that clean, she turned on her laptop and extracted the memory card from her camera. It took a few minutes for her laptop to load the files but soon enough, she was clicking through the various photos that she had taken.

Her finger was fast at work, clicking the next button. Photos of little kids in the park, old buildings, and clouds flashed before her eyes in a quick blurs. Her pace didn't slow until she came across the photos of the two boys playing basketball. Most of the pictures came out a little blurrier than she would have liked, probably due to the fact that they were moving targets. She still hadn't mastered the skill of taking clear frames of moving objects. Sighing, she slammed her laptop shut and got up from her desk.

Shrugging her jacket off of her shoulders, she draped it over the back of her desk chair before collapsing down on her bed. Tomorrow was yet another first day for her. At this point, she was used to being the new girl. The first couple of times she assumed that role, she was a nervous wreck. The most common questions had plagued her mind- would people like her? Would she make friends? Now, she wasn't worried. Every new school she attended, she had found friends eventually. She eventually found a way to fit in. After all, she was a people person. Plus, tomorrow was Friday, so if things went terribly wrong, she would have the weekend to convince her mom to pull her out and place her into a different school before she was forced to go back on Monday morning.

~x~

"Welcome to Tree Hill High School!" A dark-skinned man exclaimed as he approached Haley. He was dressed nicely in a dark gray suit tailored to fit his body perfectly. One glance at him and Haley knew that he was the Principal Turner her mom told her she would be meeting with.

Haley lifted herself up from one of the waiting office chairs and extended her hand to him. "Thank you," She said with a sweet smile.

Principal Turner returned the smile and gave her hand a quick shake. "I know how scary coming to a new school is, especially in the middle of the year. I had moved around quite a bit when I was your age, as well. So, I recruited the student council president to give you a tour of the school and maybe become your first friend. Like you, she's a senior and she's an all-around social butterfly. It's hard to find someone in this school that she doesn't get along with."

Haley smiled gratefully at him. No other school that she had attended ever did something like that for her. "I'm looking forward to meeting her."

It was then that the door to the office swung open to reveal a very elegantly dressed girl. The first thought that popped into Haley's mind was that she was absolutely beautiful. Her light brunette hair was pin straight, her make-up was light but it accentuated her hazel eyes, and her dimpled smile seemed to light up the entire dimly lit office. The black halter top and tight jeans that she was wearing just screamed designer. Haley suddenly felt very self-conscious in her green sweater and plain jeans.

"I'm Brooke Davis," the bubbly brunette announced. "You must be Haley James."

Haley nodded. "That would be me."

Brooke smiled another voluptuous smile before turning her attention to Principal Turner. "I think I've got it from here. Come on, Haley, I'll show you around."

Haley practically had to jog to keep up with Brooke. That girl definitely knew how to strut down a high school hallway. It amazed her just how many people knew Brooke and how many people Brooke knew on a first name basis. It seemed like that every corner they turned, they were met without yet another person who wanted to say "hi." But these people weren't only looking at Brooke, they were also looking at Haley. She almost felt like she was a zoo attraction.

"So, this is your locker," Brooke announced as they rounded yet another corner. She pointed to a locker that was two over from the wall.

Haley glanced down at the schedule that Principal Turner had given her and sure enough, the locker that Brooke had led her to was hers. "Um, how exactly did you know that?"

"Principal Turner told me yesterday," Brooke giggled. "He filled me in all things about you. Like how you're from California. He even gave me a copy of your schedule so that I could show you exactly where your classes are."

Haley widened her eyes in surprise. She couldn't help but feel a little…invaded. How much did this girl know about her? "Does Principal Turner have you do this with every new student?"

"Not really," Brooke said with a shrug of her shoulders. "But that's probably because we don't get many new students around here. In fact, I believe you're the first in two years."

Haley's forehead crinkled in bewilderment. "Oh, wow."

"Yeah, you're kind of a big deal around here."

She swallowed hard, her throat suddenly becoming desert dry. Remember how nerves on the first day of school wasn't really her thing? "What do you mean by that?"

Brooke giggled at Haley's obvious discomfort. "It's nothing to get freaked out over. People are just buzzing about you because you're new. Give them a few days and they'll find something new to obsess over."

"Never thought that my arrival to a new school would be worthy enough to cause gossip," Haley muttered.

"It's a small town, Haley," Brooke comforted. "Now, come on, we only have a few minutes until homeroom starts."

~x~

Haley wasn't sure how she ended up sitting at a lunch table with Brooke Davis and two of her friends, but there she was. This had to be the record for the fastest she's made friends at a new school, if she could even call Brooke and her entourage her friends. Brooke was…eccentric, Haley decided. Her bubbly personality could definitely get to be a little overbearing. The girl just didn't stop smiling. She had a mean streak though, something Haley had a front row seat to when some blonde "purposely" bumped into her. But, nonetheless, Brooke seemed like alright company.

Haley took a quick glance around the table at the other people she was seated with. On the opposite side of Brooke was a curly haired blonde. Haley remembered her name to be Peyton Sawyer. As far as Haley could tell, Peyton was the complete opposite of Brooke. Her face was pretty much make-up free, except for a scarce amount of eyeliner. She was wearing some black band t-shirt with a picture of an artist Haley didn't recognize. Farther down the table with a boy with brown spikey hair who was quite the talker. They called him Lips, or maybe it was Mouth? It was something odd like that.

She continued the sweep of her eyes across the rest of the courtyard. It surprised her at just how beautiful the courtyard was. The trees and picnic tables made it seem like they were sitting in the middle of a park instead of in the center of a high school campus. She could already feel her fingers itching with the desire to snap some pictures of this secluded area. Her survey of the area didn't halt until her eyes fell on a very familiar face.

The dark haired boy from the basketball court.

At first, she wasn't sure if it was actually him. It had been kind of dark the night before, she was quite a distance away, and his back had mostly been to her. But, by some unexplainable reason, she just knew it was him. He was sitting at a table on the other side of the courtyard, by himself, with what looked to be an untouched lunch in front of him. His jaw, which she couldn't help but notice was exceptionally sharp, was locked tightly, his lips pressed into a hardline. His eyes were narrow, his cold stare causing a shiver to run down her spine. He looked deep in thought, staring at nothing in particular. His dark hair was disheveled, almost as if his fingers had been running through it. The apathetic boy she saw now was completely different than the carefree boy she saw yesterday.

Haley found herself unable to look away from him. It was like some kind of magnetic field was keeping her eyes locked in on him. She found herself taking in the way his black leather jacket was tight against his upper body. Underneath the leather, she could barely see the outline of a dark gray t-shirt. His jean clad leg was anxiously shaking underneath the table, the untied laces of his boots bouncing from the movement. Her initial opinion of him still remained- he was definitely attractive.

"Nathan Scott," Peyton's voice caused Haley to jump, the trance she was in immediately breaking.

Tearing her eyes away from the boy, she looked back over at Peyton. "I'm sorry?"

The corner of Peyton's mouth twitched slightly as she fought the urge to smirk. "The boy you were just gawking at, his name is Nathan Scott."

Haley immediately felt her cheeks heat up. "Oh, I wasn't-"

"It's okay," Brooke cut in. "It's hard not to stare at him. I mean, with those piercing blue eyes, that jawline you could practically cut even the hardest object on, and not to mention that body." The desire in Brooke's tone was practically palpable.

"Julian Baker? Your boyfriend? Any of this ring a bell, Brooke?" Peyton asked with a roll of her eyes.

Brooke just shrugged her shoulders in the most innocent way. "Hey, just because I eat at home doesn't mean I can't browse the menu."

Haley let out a sigh as Brooke and Peyton began to bicker back and forth. It was evident that, that was a normal activity for the both of them. She tuned them out as her eyes once again drifted to the boy she knew now as Nathan Scott. Only this time, he wasn't alone. Seated next to him was a kid with sandy brown hair. She could see this new boy talking to Nathan but his face still remained emotionless.

Brooke stopped in the middle of her tyrant to Peyton when she caught Haley once again making eyes towards Nathan. She knew that look in Haley's eyes. Hell, more than half of the girls at Tree Hill High sported that same look whenever they looked at Nathan. She let out a heavy sigh.

"Don't waste your time, Haley. Nathan doesn't get involved with girls around here, well, high school aged girls at least," Brooke said with a snort.

Haley furrowed her eyebrows at that. "Meaning?"

Peyton snickered as she leaned over the table, her arms folded on top of each other. Her voice took on a much quieter tone as she explained what Brooke meant. "She means that Nathan has never been romantically linked with any female student here. However, there was a rumor that went around during our sophomore year that Nathan was caught in a very compromising position with one of the English teachers. About a week after the rumor went around, said teacher was seen packing up her classroom and then she was never heard from again."

"Oh wow," Haley muttered as her eyes widened in shock. That was definitely the last thing she thought Peyton was going to say. She knew absolutely nothing about Nathan, but she would have never pegged him as the type to have an affair with a teacher.

"There was never any confirmation if anything actually happened but my senses told me that something definitely did," Brooke declared with a smug smile.

"Senses?"

"I have a sixth sense when it comes to figuring out if two people have hooked up or not."

"Good to know."

"Yeah, so, I know that he's gorgeous and everything, but I would steer clear, unless you just want to get your heart broken. I've watched girl after girl practically throw themselves at him and he shuts every single one of them down," Brooke babbled.

"I still think he's gay," Peyton piped up.

Brooke scoffed at her insinuation. "You're only saying that because you're bitter about being one of those girls he turned down."

Haley tried to stop the giggle from leaving her lips but it was no use. Peyton Sawyer didn't seem like the girl who was embarrassed easily but her cheeks flushed bright red at Brooke's words.

"Oh, come on," Peyton admonished. "I was drunk and lonely and he just happened to be the only attractive guy at the party."

"If that's your story," Brooke snickered before shifting the conversation back to Nathan. "You know, now that I think about it, he doesn't get close to people period. You see the hot blonde boy that just sat next to him?"

Haley glanced back in the direction of the table that Nathan was sitting at to see a blonde had joined them. She immediately recognized him-he was the other boy she saw at that basketball court. Adverting her eyes away, she just nodded her head.

"That's Lucas Scott, Nathan's brother. Or, well, half-brother. Long story. And then the other guy, his name is Jake Jagielski. That's Nathan's childhood best friend. Those are the only two people Nathan ever really talks to," Brooke continued on.

"You forgot to mention how they are arguably the best basketball players to ever grace Tree Hill's basketball court," Mouth piped up from his spot at the end of the table. Funny, Haley had completely forgotten he was even sitting there. "I'm talking averages of 36 points a game, multiple assists, and they already have about three different Big Ten colleges looking at them."

Wait, basketball? She had seen Nathan playing basketball with Lucas yesterday and even though she didn't know much about the sport, she knew he was good. Why wasn't he on the team?

"Mouth…your nerd is showing," Brooke admonished with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry," Mouth mumbled, slinking back in his seat.

"Are Lucas and Jake as unfriendly as Nathan is?" Haley pondered out loud.

Peyton shook her head. "Not really. They definitely aren't the most open people in the world but they don't isolate themselves like Nathan does. I think that's probably because since they're on the basketball team, they're at the top of the social hierarchy pyramid that is high school by default."

Haley just nodded. She spared one more glance in his direction but quickly adverted her eyes when she noticed his gaze had now shifted in her direction. There's no way to tell if he was actually looking at her but she couldn't help but feel her body heat up at that possibility. Her mind was suddenly hazy with curiosity. So many questions began to plaque her mind- why was he so closed off? Why did he look happy playing basketball but looked like he just wanted to die while being at school? If basketball made him happy, why wasn't he playing like Lucas and Jake? Why did an attractive guy like him not want anything to do with all the girls throwing themselves at him?

She couldn't really explain it but Haley had this sudden urge to know everything there was to know about Nathan Scott.

~x~

Nathan's head was absolutely pounding. The loud music and the smoke filled air of the small basement he was in wasn't helping matters. Unfortunately for him, he was just too sore to move. Every muscle in his body felt like it was burning. He needed to stop taking his anger out at the gym before his body decided to disown him. Some slut by the name of Rachel was perched on the couch next to him, her lips rotating between kissing his neck and the shell of his ear. For the last fifteen minutes, she had been whispering sexy sweet nothings to him in a voice that she clearly believed was seductive, when in reality, it was actually quite annoying. One of her perfectly manicured hands was dancing across his upper chest but he was too tired to push her off.

His head fell back against the couch as his eyes fell closed, the fatigue finally catching up with him. He would let Rachel believe for a few more minutes that she was actually getting what she wanted before he rejected her…yet again. It was the same story with her. She would slink up next to him in clothes that were three sizes too small, he would smirk at her, she would flirt with him, he would sometimes flirt back but then she would take things a little too far and he'd have to send her on her way. He wasn't…prude…by any means, he just didn't mess with girls like Rachel. She would claim no strings attached only to turn around and say she wanted more. He couldn't give her _more_ and even if he could give her more, he wasn't interested.

Plus, there was no telling how many diseases he would contract from sleeping with her. She was practically a walking STD.

Nathan wasn't sure why he bothered to come to these parties anymore. He _hated_ parties. If he were being honest, he really didn't see the point in them. It was all dancing (he hated dancing), drinking (okay, so that he liked), and socializing with people that he didn't give two shits about (he wasn't much of a people person). But, when he opened his eyes and spotted his best friend and his brother at the beer pong table, he was reminded of exactly why he attended these stupid parties.

Lucas and Jake were always dragging Nathan to some kind of party on the weekends. Or forcing him to attend their basketball games. They claimed that he needed to get out and have fun while he was young instead of wasting his life away, holed up in his room. For the life of him, Nathan couldn't figure out how they could just go out to parties and live their lives without a care in the world. Not after what happened. He especially couldn't understand how today, out of all days, they could be smiling and laughing without even a hint of sadness. Today marked two years since- No. He had to stop thinking and he had to stop thinking now.

Suddenly, Nathan felt like the walls were closing in on him. The basement felt way too small, causing his claustrophobia to kick in. Brushing off Rachel, who, of course, gave him a whiny protest followed by a pout, he stood up from the couch. Ignoring the soreness he felt in his legs and lower stomach as he walked, he headed towards the card table full of various bottles of alcohol. Most of the bottles were empty or tipped over, the remnants dripping on to the sticky table. His eyes honed in on a half-full fifth of Tennessee Whiskey. Without a second thought, he grabbed the bottle off the table and turned on his heel to exit the basement.

Taking two stairs at a time, he weaved through the crowd of people littering the stairs. A few people shot curious looks at his hasty departure, but he ignored every one of them. He was used to people looking at him like that. Once he reached the top stair, he made a beeline for the front door. As soon as the cool night air brushed against his skin, he felt like he could breathe again. Twisting the cap off the bottle of whiskey, he brought the bottle up to his lips and took a long drink. The alcohol burned as it slid down his throat, but he welcomed the pain.

Nathan let his feet carry him across the concrete and down a familiar path, a way too familiar path. It was like there was some kind of magnetic field drawing his body in a certain direction. He knew where he was going and even though it was the last place he wanted to be, he couldn't stop even if he tried.

Twenty minutes and a half bottle of Tennessee Whiskey later, Nathan found himself standing in front of a green iron gate. The words "Tree Hill Cemetery" on the illuminated sign glared at him, mocking him. Once again, his heart beat picked up in speed and he swallowed hard. He hated this place with a passion. But, no matter how much he tried, he couldn't stay away. It was that damn magnetic field again. He lifted the bottle of whiskey back up to his lips and sucked out the last remnants of it before tossing it to the ground. The sound of the bottle shattering was lost in the loud howl of the October wind.

Taking a step forward, Nathan pushed open the gate and slid past it. He stumbled across the grass, suddenly realizing just how much alcohol he had consumed in such a short amount of time. He was dizzy and his vision was blurry but he forced himself to keep walking. He knew not eating today was eventually going to come back to bite him in the ass. There was nothing worse than consuming a shit ton of alcohol on an empty stomach. He just had to make it to the red oak tree located just over the hill and then he could stop. Just a few more steps. He could do this. He had to do this.

Once he reached his destination, he fell to his knees. He was back to feeling like he couldn't breathe. His heart puttering loudly in his ears. In front of him were two dark gray headstones, nestled into the ground. Even with his hazy vision, he could see those gray blocks perfectly. Grass and dark green weeds had started to grow over the stone, burrowing them even further into the turf. A surge of anger rushed through him. It was only natural for the grass to grow over the grave markers but it still pissed him off. Recklessly, Nathan began to yank at the weeds until the stones were no longer covered.

He sat back on his heels and just stared at the image in front of him, grass still knotted in his fists. It just wasn't fair. He should be the one buried six feet beneath the Earth's surface, not them. They were good people, he wasn't. Memories of that night flashed through his mind. He could still hear the echoes of their screams, the desperate pleas for their lives. It all still felt so real. Hot tears fell effortlessly down his cheeks, his chest heaving as a sob tore from his throat. Nathan despised crying. Crying was a sign of weakness and he wasn't weak. He refused to be weak.

One of these days, the guilt was actually going to eat him alive.

He faintly heard the sound of feet crunching against the leaves that covered the ground. Seconds later he heard Lucas' voice break the silence.

"I figured we'd find you out here."

Lucas and Jake were just about to start another game of beer pong when they noticed Nathan was no longer sitting on the couch. They immediately knew where he had disappeared to. Today was always a rough day for him, hell it was a rough day for all of them. But, Nathan was the one who always took it the hardest. Nathan had been on edge all day and it was only a matter of time before he cracked. They hoped that by dragging him to a party that it would take his mind off of it…evidently not.

Nathan glanced over his shoulder to see Lucas and Jake standing there, that same look of pity and concern written over their faces. God, he hated that look. He turned away, bringing his hands up to quickly wipe away his tears. A few pieces of grass stuck to his cheeks, but he just ignored it. "Well, someone should have made it a point to visit them today," He spat at them, his voice thick with intoxication and venom.

"Luke and I came out here this morning," Jake answered, cringing at Nathan's bitter tone.

"And you didn't think to ask me if I wanted to go?" Nathan barked, his words were slightly slurred.

Lucas and Jake knowing exchanged glances. Nathan had been drinking, but that didn't come as a surprise to them. Nathan had a bad habit of numbing his pain with alcohol.

"We knew that you liked to go alone, so we didn't bother," Lucas answered while taking a few steps closer to Nathan. "Come on, let's get going. It's getting late and you know the guard likes to do his nightly sweeps around this time."

Nathan didn't respond. He didn't want to leave. And if he were being honest, he wasn't sure if he could physically leave. His legs had gone numb from sitting on them too long and his head was spinning.

"Nathan," Jake tried. "Come on."

Still no response. No movement.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the three of them. Nathan still hadn't moved from his spot on the ground. Lucas closed the distance between them and gently pulled Nathan up from the ground. Surprisingly, Nathan didn't protest. He stumbled a little and Jake quickly grabbed on to the other side of Nathan, holding him up. For the first time that night, they got a good look at him and the scene before them broke their hearts.

Nathan's eyes were glazed over, from crying or from the alcohol, they weren't sure. They looked sunken in, dark circles rimming beneath them. He looked paler than normal, all of the color completely drained from his face. Not to mention, he reeked of whiskey. He looked completely broken and it hurt to know that neither one of them could do anything about it.

They held him up as they headed towards Jake's car which was parked outside of the cemetery. They struggled to carry him. It was like carrying dead weight. Nathan was mumbling something but neither could make out what he was saying.

"It's all my fault," Nathan mumbled more clearly as soon as they reached Jake's car.

Lucas let out a deep sight and shook his head as he opened the door to the backseat. This, also, was nothing new. He was always blaming himself. "No, it's not. You know it's not."

"Yes, it is," Nathan whispered, his eyes falling closed.

Jake moved him towards the open backseat. "Nate, stop it."

Nathan ignored Jake's words, his eyes opening just a little. He found it hard to keep his eyes open for longer than a few seconds. He crawled into the back seat and laid back against the leather seats. He let his eyes fall closed again, feeling his head begin to throb again. "They're dead because of me. I killed them." Nathan murmured before falling into an alcohol induced coma.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. You have once again blown me away. I got my laptop back, thank God! Razor Sharp update is also coming your way!

In case y'all were wondering, the title of this fic comes from the song Colors by Halsey. I happened to be listening to that song while I was writing this story one day and the lyrics just kind of fit with how I felt about the characters and the story I planned on telling. It felt right and I just fell in love with it. So, here we are! If you've never heard that song, I highly recommend it. In fact, I highly recommend Halsey in general!

I know you all are probably wondering who Nathan was visiting at the cemetery and you will find out soon, I promise.

Lastly, I kind of stole a huge portion of this chapter from the show itself. I changed it around some but the idea came straight for the show. It came from episode 4x13. Once you start reading it, you'll see what I mean ;) I feel really good about this chapter and I have a feeling that when I look back at this story, this chapter will be one of my favorites. Also, I feel like someone is going to mention this so I'm just going to get it out of the way. Nathan is very hot and cold in this chapter. He goes from being nice to being rude in like the matter of seconds. That is done on purpose and with what I have planned, you'll get a clear explanation of why exactly that is in the future.

* * *

It was a small blue sign. The plastic was cut smoothly into a perfect rectangle, suspended from the ceiling by thin cables. The bold white words stared back at her- "Tutoring Center." For some reason, those words intimidated her, mocked her, and also, excited her. On her way to lunch, she had come across this room and stopped dead in her tracks.

Back in California, she had been a tutor, a math tutor to be more specific. Her calculus teacher had approached her half way through the year to compliment her on having the highest grade in the class and to coax her into helping some of the students who weren't as fortunate at math. At first, she hesitated. Being a tutor had never crossed her mind and she feared that she wouldn't be good at it. But, she gave it a chance and to her delight, she found that she loved it. The only question that remained was- should she stick to it?"

"It's only your second day here, how do you already need to be tutored?" Brooke said, popping up from out of nowhere.

Haley jumped at the sound of Brooke's voice, her hand flying up to rest over her now-rapidly beating heart. "Jesus, you scared me!"

Brooke shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry. But, seriously, are you already failing a class?"

Haley shook her head. "No, uh, I don't need to be tutored."

"Then why are you standing outside of the Tutoring Center like you're scared to go in or something?"

"I was thinking of possibly signing up to be a tutor," Haley said casually, biting down on the inside of her cheek. She wished she could come up with a solid reason why she was so apprehensive about walking into that room, but she was drawing blank after blank.

"You tutor?" Brooke asked, her forehead creasing in genuine curiosity.

"Sort of. I was an unofficial calculus tutor for a few people in my class at my old school," Haley explained with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

"Well, you should go sign up. Principal Turner has been begging student council to put advertisements out for new tutors for the last few weeks and I just haven't gotten around to it. They're short staffed, I guess," Brooke explained. "Plus, high school is boring when you don't get involved. I hated school until I became a cheerleader and student body president."

"Cheerleader, huh?" Haley mumbled. She wasn't the least bit surprised at this new information. Brooke just had that spunk about her. Plus, within the short time that Haley had been in Tree Hill, she had concluded that Brooke was quite popular. Cheerleading and popularity tend to go hand in hand, right?

Brooke nodded proudly. "Every basketball game. Basketball season doesn't start for a few more months, but I'm already anxious. You don't happen to cheer, do you? My squad is little smaller than normal this year and we're looking for some new girls. You're gorgeous, so you would fit right in!"

As soon as those words left Brooke's mouth, Haley began to vigorously shake her head. "Trust me, I'm the last person you would want on your squad. I'm a natural born klutz."

"I'm sure I could shape you up in no time."

"Thank you, but I think I'll stick to tutoring."

Brooke smiled warmly at her before glancing at the clock. "Well, we all have our hobbies! Come on, lunch is over and we don't want to be late to English. Mr. Harrison doesn't mess around when it comes to tardiness."

~x~

"You are all seniors, correct?" Mr. Harrison asked as he walked around his desk to stand in front of the room. Leaning back, he rested against his desk and crossed his arms over his chest. He was a middle-aged man, early forties if Haley had to guess. He was bald and for the second class period in a row, he was wearing a sweater vest over a white dress shirt and a pair of khakis. She wondered if those were the only articles of clothing he owned.

There was a chorus of "yes" that echoed through the classroom before Mr. Harrison began to speak again. "And for the most part, with the exception of a few you, you've all gone to school together for the last four years, correct?"

Another group of murmurs.

"Okay, then," Mr. Harrison began looking around the room before his eyes landed on someone. "Brooke, what is Peyton's middle name?"

Without even taking a breath to think about it, Brooke answered, "Elisabeth."

"Jake, what is something Lucas is afraid of?"

Jake sat back and thought for a few seconds before answering, "Heights."

"Alright, Peyton, who is Skylar's boyfriend?"

Peyton shifted nervously in her seat as she began to pick at the edge of her notebook. "Uh, not to be insensitive or anything, but isn't Skylar gay?"

Skylar immediately sat up in her chair, her eyes narrow. "That was just a rumor that went around last year. I'm not."

"Ah-ha! You guys walked right into my trap!" Mr. Harrison exclaimed, pushing himself off of his desk. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, an excited grin painting his features. Scanning the room with his eyes once more, he landed on Haley. "Haley, you're new around here. This is, what, your second day in this school?"

Haley timidly nodded her head, sitting up straighter in her chair. She could feel a bunch of eyes burning into her back. This whole "being a big deal because she's a new student" thing was starting to get old.

"Tell me, in your two days here, have you heard any rumors about your fellow classmates that maybe makes you not want to reach out to them or be their friend?" He asked her seriously.

Involuntarily, Haley's gaze fell on Nathan who was seated on the opposite side of the classroom. He was leaned back in his desk chair, his arms crossed over his chest. Once again, he was dressed in the same leather jacket. At this point, Haley figured that, that article of clothing was just an everyday thing for him. He was wearing a light blue shirt this time, jeans, and the same boots. His expression was blank, his eyes looking at the teacher but Haley was positive he wasn't really listening to a word that Mr. Harrison said. She was, somewhat, surprised his eyes weren't on her like the rest of their classmates.

All weekend, Haley couldn't stop thinking about what Peyton and Brooke had said about Nathan. She couldn't explain why she was so drawn to him. She hadn't said a single word to him and she probably never will but he intrigued her. It was an unexplainable force and she was still unsure how she felt about that. How could she be that entranced by a strange?

"Haley?"

Tearing her eyes away from Nathan, she felt her face heat up when she discovered that everyone, most likely, had just witnessed her zone out on Nathan. She tossed her hair over her shoulders so that it formed a curtain over her face. Clearing her throat, she muttered, "Yes, I have."

Mr. Harrison clapped his hands together. "See, that's the problem with your generation-you believe everything you hear first, instead of trying to get to know someone. Most of you have spent the last four years of your lives together but you don't know anything about each other. You hear the rumors and suddenly think that you know everything there is to know about someone. You don't take the time to get to know who someone truly is."

"No offense, Mr. Harrison, but not everyone in high school gets along or becomes friends," some kid called from the back of the room.

"True," Mr. Harrison responded as he turned around and grabbed a small stack of papers of his desk. "But, it can't hurt to get to know some of the people that you've grown up with as like a last hurrah or something. Which is why, today's assignment will do just that. We're going to break down some barriers in this classroom."

"Let me guess, you got super drunk this weekend and forgot to make your lesson plan and that's why we're stuck doing this assignment," another kid snickered.

Mr. Harrison smiled. "Precisely. But come, on this could be fun!"

He began to pass out these little slips of paper to one side of the classroom. "This side of the room, I want you all to write your name on these slips of paper and then pass them back to the front of the room. Then, I'm going to place all of your names in my clean, I promise, coffee mug. The other side of the room will pick a random name from this coffee mug and that will be your partner for a little assignment."

Shuffles could be heard as all of the pieces of paper were collected and then the mug began to be passed around the room. When the mug reached Haley, she reached in and grabbed the first paper her fingers touched before she passed the mug off to the next person. Unfolding the piece of paper, she swore her heart was going to beat out of her chest. Written on that tiny piece of paper in handwriting that could only be described as chicken scratch was Nathan's name. She blinked hard, just in case she had read it wrong. But, nope, there was his name.

What were the fucking odds?

"Okay, so now that you know who your partner is, I am going to give you another sheet of paper with a series of questions. You and your partner will go somewhere in this school to basically interview each other. I don't care where but it has to be on this campus. Follow the instructions on the cards closely. And I ask you to take this assignment seriously or Principal Turner will have my head for wasting a fifty minute class period on foolery. You have the entire class period," Mr. Harrison announced as he handed out the rest of the materials for the assignment. "Make a new friend today!"

Haley felt like her heart was in her throat as she walked over to Nathan. The feeling of being excited and nervous at the same time was coaxing through her veins. Nathan had shifted in his position and was now sitting sideways in the desk seat. He seemed to be engrossed in something on his phone screen. She hesitated for a moment, unsure of just how to approach him. Obviously he had heard about the assignment but he made no movement to acknowledge it.

Taking a deep breath, she took another step closer to him. "Hey, uh, you're Nathan right?"

At the sound of his name, he looked up at her and holy shit. His eyes. They were the first thing she noticed. From afar, it was hard to tell but his eyes were seriously blue. Almost sickeningly blue-full on Prince Charming, field of cornflower, perfect, cloudless sky blue. They held a sharp darkness that made goosebumps rise high on her skin. The dark circles under his eyes reminded her of faded bruises, barely there but still visible.

She let her eyes trail over the rest of his face as she swallowed back the gasp that was threatening to bubble up her throat. From a distance, he was attractive but up close? Up close he was easily the most beautiful boy she had ever laid eyes on. His fair skin, his sharp jawline, the firm bone structure of his cheeks, the long eyelashes rimming his eyes, his full lips…he was the epitome of beautiful.

And she needed to stop staring right now or things were going to get awkward.

"Yeah," Nathan finally responded to her acknowledgement. He was well aware of the fact that she was gawking at him. Normally, that would have annoyed him but the way she was looking at him was different than how most girls looked at him. Most girls looked at him like he was a commodity, a piece of meat…something to bat their eyelashes at. Her bright brown eyes were filled with genuine curiosity and it felt like she was looking right into his soul, something that made him uneasy. He could already see her trying to work out all of the rumors she had inevitably heard about him.

He met her gaze and an unfamiliar feeling washed over him. An unfamiliar feeling that absolutely terrified him.

 _Fuck_ , even his voice was sexy. It was the perfect amount of hoarse and gravel mixed into one. She suppressed the shiver that ran down her spine and curved her lips into a shaky smile. "I guess we're partners for this little project thing. I'm Haley James. I just moved here so that explains why you've probably never seen me before."

She was rambling awkwardly and she silently cursed herself for her nervous tendencies. If the ground opened up and swallowed her whole at that moment, she wouldn't have complained. However, Nathan didn't seem to notice her nervous habit or if he did, he just chose to ignore it, something she was grateful for.

"Yeah, I know. I heard something about you the other day," Nathan said nonchalantly, adverting his eyes away from hers. He was in History when he heard some punk say something about the new girl being "the hottest girl he's ever seen." And now that Nathan saw her with his own eyes, he couldn't help but agree. Again, something he really shouldn't have been thinking.

Haley silently cursed herself when she felt her cheeks heat up at his words. Something else in this school needed to happen to take the attention off of her before she went crazy.

Noticing her blush, he quickly added, "It was nothing bad. We just don't get a lot of new students around here."

"So I've heard," Haley mumbled as she tucked a piece of hair behind her hair in a timid manner. She was desperate to change the subject off of her new arrival. "So, I guess we're partners for this assignment that Mr. Harrison just assigned." She mentally berated herself for the fact she had just repeated herself. Why couldn't she just be cool and collected?

Nathan nodded as he slipped out of the desk chair. Once he was standing, he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He found himself looking into her eyes again but quickly adverted his gaze away once again. That same stupid feeling shook inside of him. "I, um, I wasn't really paying attention in class. What is it that we have to do?"

"We have to go any place in the school and ask each other these questions," Haley explained as she held up the other piece of paper Mr. Harrison had handed her.

"Sounds good," Nathan mumbled dryly as he started walking towards the hallway. "Is there any place you specifically want to go?"

"Uh, not really," Haley mumbled. "I still don't really know my way around this school. Do you know somewhere we could go?"

Nathan thought about it for a moment before nodding. He knew the perfect place. "Follow me."

They walked in silence to where Nathan was taking her. If she were being honest, she felt a lot more comfortable around him than she thought she would. She had expected him to be rude or nasty towards her, but he wasn't. He was cold and definitely seemed distant, but he wasn't rude. However, there was still this uneasiness inside of her. He was intimidating. His eyes were dull and his lips remained pressed into a hard line. He was emotionless, completely uninterested in this assignment, in school, and life, in general. The way he walked reminded her of a brainless zombie that was being controlled by its creator. It was like he was just letting his feet take him wherever they wanted to go.

Haley fiddled with the paper that contained their assignment as she followed Nathan down another corridor. After a few more minutes of walking, they arrived at a large set of double doors. Nathan pushed open of the doors and held it open for her as she walked through. The strong scent of wax, rubber, and sweat invaded her senses. It was the high school gym. The lights were dim, but the bleachers were pulled out and the basketball nets were down. Blue banners hung around the brick walls, the words "Go Ravens!" painted in white or black block letters. She noticed a few jerseys in glass cases hanging on the wall, along with a few banners with different championship years embroidered on them.

She found it almost ironic that the first place he thought to take her to was the gym. The question of why he wasn't on the basketball team burned in the back of her throat but she swallowed it back.

The sound of the bleachers creaking broke Haley out of her scale of the room. Turning around, she found Nathan sitting on one of the bleachers. He was leaning back, his hands clasped together and resting on his stomach. He was staring right at her and she felt her temperature rise at the intense look on his face. She couldn't put into words the way he was staring at her…it was like he was trying to memorize every single detail about her yet there was this underlying notion of…fear? That couldn't be right.

Deciding to take initiative to begin the assignment so things didn't get even more awkward, Haley climbed up the bleachers and plopped down a comfortable distance away from Nathan. She straddled the bleachers and angled her body so that she was facing him. She watched him scoot a little farther away from her and she couldn't help but feel slightly offended. Did she smell or something? Taking a quick whiff of herself, she only smelled the scent of her vanilla body spray, so she decided to ignore his actions. Then, she looked down at the sheet of questions that Mr. Harrison gave them before disrupting the silence. "Okay, the first thing on this list says 'share something personal with your partner.'"

Nathan visibly tensed, shifting uncomfortably against the bleachers. He already didn't like this assignment. He hated talking about himself. He didn't like attention and besides, there wasn't much about himself that he could just divulge to someone, especially someone he barely knew. So, the safest route possible was the road he decided to take. "My middle name is Royal."

Haley's forehead creased at that. "Oh come on, your middle name is like public knowledge. That's hardly something personal." As soon as those words left her mouth, she knew she shouldn't have said them.

Nathan's head snapped in her direction, his stare cold and narrow. "It's personal to me," He growled harshly. When she winced at his words, he felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He knew he shouldn't have snapped at her like that. She was new, she didn't know him. She didn't know that he didn't like answering personal questions or that he wasn't an open book. Most people in Tree Hill knew that about him and they never prodded for information.

"I'm sorry," Haley apologized meekly. She mentally retracted her thought about him not being rude. "I didn't mean-"

Nathan shook his head, cutting her off. "It's fine."

"Okay, um," Haley stuttered slightly but turning the attention back to her. He didn't seem all that interested in what she had to say but she continued on anyway. "Something personal about me…well, let's see, I come from a big family. I have three brothers and three sisters."

Nathan turned his head to look at her, his eyes wide. "I bet your house is crowded."

Haley shook her head as the words flowed out of her, effortlessly. "Actually, I'm the only one left. They're all pretty much spread out across the United States. My oldest sister is married with two sons and she lives out in Ohio. My two older brothers are also married with kids and they're in New York. My other brother is finishing up his masters back in California. My other older sister is a senior at Georgia Tech and then my last sister disappeared after her high school graduation and hasn't been heard from since. So, it's just me and my mom now."

"What about your dad?"

"Oh, he passed away a few years ago. He had a heart attack," Haley explained, her voice solemn.

For a moment, Nathan's features soften and she swore she saw something other than coldness in his eyes. Sympathy? Pity? Sadness? She couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was because as soon as it appeared, it was gone. "I'm sorry," Nathan mumbled.

Haley shrugged. "It's okay. I've learned to get over it."

Nathan's forehead creased at that. Learned to get over it? "How do you just learn to get over someone's death? Especially someone that was so close to you?" He asked incredulously. The sharpness in his voice had returned. His chest felt tight and he couldn't even hide his bewilderment. Death wasn't something you just "got over", at least not to him.

Haley noticed the change in his demeanor right away. He was even tenser than before, if that was possible and he apparently did not like her answer at all. "I don't know. It was hard for a while but as time went on, the pain got easier. My dad lived his life to the fullest and he believed in the fact that God takes you when your purpose in life has been fulfilled. I guess I found peace in the fact that I know he found peace."

Nathan nodded wordlessly. He wasn't really sure to say to that, mostly because he was in shock. There wasn't a hint of pain in Haley's eyes as she talked about her father's death and for a brief moment, he admired her. He admired the fact that she could move past all the pain of losing someone so close to her when it felt like he was stuck in this constant rut.

"What's the next question?" He asked, changing the subject. He needed to change the subject before it became too much.

Haley glanced back at the questions before answering. "Admit something that worries or scares you."

 _Damn it._ Nathan cursed silently. Were any of these questions simple like "what's your favorite color?" or "when's your birthday?"

"I guess I'll go first," Haley said when Nathan remained silent. "I'm scared about college."

"Why?"

Haley sighed heavily as she began to twist the ring on her pinky finger. "I'm just not sure what I want to do with my life. I mean, photography has been a hobby of mine since I was little. My sister, Quinn, showed me how to hold a camera and how to take pictures. She was always big into photography and I wanted to be just like her. Eventually, I just fell in love with it. But, I don't really know what kind of career I could have doing that. I recently discovered that I like to tutor, but I don't know if I could see myself being a teacher. And other than those two things, I can't think of anything else I like to do."

"Can I ask you something?" Nathan asked when he realized just how much she had just revealed to him.

Haley nodded.

"Are you always this open with people?" He pondered, his eyebrows raised. They had just met not even twenty minutes ago and she had no problem telling him details of her life. It baffled him.

"For the most part."

"Why's that?"

"I don't know," Haley admitted with a shrug. "I guess that I'm not really ashamed of anything or I don't really have anything to hide. Why do you ask?"

"Opening up to people scares me," Nathan admitted before he could even register what he was saying. He wasn't planning on saying anything. In fact, he was just going to try and avoid their second question at all coasts.

"Why?" Haley asked without thinking.

Nathan's jaw clenched. "What's the next question on the list?"

Haley narrowed her eyes. "You avoided my question."

"Because I didn't want to answer it," Nathan mumbled. "I just told you that I don't like opening up to people. What makes you think I would want to expand on that?"

"I just-"

"Just drop it."

Haley felt like someone had just pulled a rug out from underneath her. One minute, Nathan was…not as cold. But then the next minute, he was completely closed off. He was cold as ice and there was an edge to his voice that made her nervous.

"Are you always like this?" She asked.

"Like what?" He wasn't looking in her direction anymore. He was looking forward, his elbows resting on his knees. His eyes were trained on something on the other side of the gym.

"Somewhat nice one minute and then a dick the next," Haley clarified. It was her turned to have that sharpness in her voice.

Nathan let out a shaky breath. "Yeah, pretty much."

She wanted to ask why but she knew that wasn't going to do much good. He was just going to snap at her again. So, instead, she looked down at the sheet of questions. The faster they got through them, the faster she would be away from his attitude. "Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

Nathan shrugged. "I'm not sure. I don't really think about the future. What about you?" This time, he did turn and look at her.

"In ten years, I hope to be in love. I hope to be married to this great guy and we have this wonderful family. I have a good career and so does he. Our children are happy and healthy. In ten years, I hope to be just happy and living life," She gushed.

He felt an ache in his heart that he couldn't explain. She was smiling while she described her perfect dream life. Her eyes were twinkling, the light brown color seeming even more golden. Her smile…it light up the entire gym. Her smile…it reminded him of _her_ and he physically felt his heart ache. On top of that, that weird feeling he felt earlier had returned and at first, he didn't fight it. It was a moment of weakness, one that he would later regret.

For the first time since he laid eyes on her, allowed himself to think that she was beautiful. It was the first thought that had popped into his head when he first laid eyes on her, but he ignored it. Her long blonde hair framed her face perfectly. It looked soft and silky, something that he wouldn't mind running his fingers through. Her cheeks and her plump lips were carved perfectly. He wondered if her skin was as soft as it looked. She had a naturalness to her that most girls didn't have. Her face was dusted in the slightest amount of make-up that just enhanced her natural beauty.

Before he allowed himself to go any further, he shut those thoughts down. He didn't need to be thinking like that. That was the _last_ thing he needed.

"It sounds like you've thought about this a lot," Nathan mumbled, mostly to distract himself. The more she talked, the less he thinked.

A light blush covered her cheeks, accompanied with a timid smile. "A lot more than I'd like to admit. I guess that makes me sound like a total girl."

Nathan shrugged. "Not really. My brother is the same way." The corner of his mouth twitched in the slightest way, almost as if he was trying to suppress a smile. Haley found herself wishing that he would've allowed the smile.

"Your brother is Lucas, right?"

"That would be him. The all-American basketball star of Tree Hill High," Nathan murmured and Haley didn't miss the bitterness that colored his voice.

"Do you play any sports?" She found herself asking, although she was sure she already knew the answer.

Nathan hesitated for a moment before shaking his head. "No. They don't interest me." His infamous blank expression had returned.

 _That's not what it looked like the other day,_ a voice inside of her head mumbled, but she didn't dare say that out loud. "Oh."

"Yeah," Nathan said. "So what's the next question?"

Haley looked down to see that they had reached the last question. "Um, it says to tell your partner a secret."

Nathan inwardly groaned. Jesus, this assignment was actually killing him. "You first," He said hoarsely. It was going to take him a little bit of time to craft up some kind of lie to tell her. It shouldn't really be that hard. He was used to lying.

Haley stayed quiet for a few minutes as she mulled over what to tell him. She didn't really have "secrets." Well, except for one and she felt her cheeks heat up at the thought of it. It was something completely girly and she had never told anyone because of the mere fact that it was highly embarrassing.

"Oh, this is about to be good," Nathan claimed as he watched he blush spread across her cheeks for the second time in the last half hour. He had to admit that he was enticed by the fact that she blushed so easily. A lot of the girls that hung around him didn't blush or get embarrassed at all. The change of pace was nice.

Haley looked down and the twirling of her ring started again. Her cheeks felt hot and that knowledge only made her blush even more. "It's so embarrassing."

"I'm sure it's not," Nathan assured.

She took in a deep breath. "Okay, um, well I've never told anyone this before but whenever I'm in the shower, I like to sing and pretend that I'm performing to a sold out crowd," As soon as she revealed her secret, she covered her face with her hands and buried her head in her lap.

Nathan let out a small chuckle. With the way she was acting, he was expecting her reveal a weird fetish or something along those lines, not that she liked to sing in the shower. "That's not embarrassing."

Haley looked up and playfully rolled her eyes at him. "How is it not?"

Nathan shrugged. "I've heard more embarrassing things in my life time."

"Like what?"

"My best friend used to pretend that his sister's Barbie's were his girlfriends."

Haley let out a giggle, a smile gracing her face. "Yeah, I guess that is a little more embarrassing than singing in the shower. So, what's your secret?"

"I like your smile," Nathan admitted without even thinking. He mentally cursed himself for being so…over assertive.

"How is that a secret?" Haley asked, another set of blush painting her cheeks.

"A secret is something that you've never told anyone before, right?"

Haley nodded.

"I've never told anyone that before," He said lowly. "I don't give compliments out often."

She felt her heart flutter at his words and a kaleidoscope of butterflies swarm her stomach. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she gave him a soft smile. "Well, thank you."

For some reason, Nathan suddenly felt the urge to distance himself from her and to his delight, he saw the time on the clock signaled that the end of the period was near. Jumping up from the bleachers, he stuck his hands in his pockets. "We should probably head back to the classroom, the bell is about to ring. Did we get through all of the questions?"

Haley sighed. _And the distant side was back._ "Yeah. The secret one was the last one."

~x~

The first thing Nathan did when he walked through his apartment door was a grab a beer out of the fridge. His mind was reeling and he just didn't want to think anymore. Or feel. And the fridge was full of things that would allow him to suppress both of those things. Thankfully, the apartment was empty. Lucas probably stopped by their Uncle Keith's body shop after school, he usually did that at least once a week. Or he stopped by his mom's café. Either way, Lucas wasn't home to yell at him for drinking on Monday night.

Nathan plopped down on the couch with the beer in his hand and swung his feet on to the glass coffee table in front of him. Looking around, he noticed that the apartment was a lot cleaner than it was the previous weekend. Pizza boxes and beer bottles no longer littered the tan carpet. The video game console was no longer spilling out of the chestnut brown entertainment center. His eyes moved over the tan couch and the grease stain was no longer present on the furthest cushion. He made a mental note to thank Lucas for cleaning later.

Nathan then took a long drink of his beer, allowing the bitter liquid to slide down his throat. The faster he drank, the quicker the intoxication would sink in. He felt something today. It was something deep inside of his chest and it had shocked the hell out of him. He wasn't sure what it was and he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about who had caused it either. He had gone the last two years without feeling anything and that's the way he wanted to remain. Being numb was easy.

Just as he took another swig of his beer, he heard the front door unlock before a stream of light entered the apartment. Seconds later, the door shut again and Lucas' voice bounced off the walls of the small, two bedroom apartment.

"Oh hey, you're home. I just got done talking to my mom-"

"Did she asked you to move back home yet?" Nathan asked bitterly, cutting Lucas off.

Lucas walked over to the small dining room table and placed his backpack over the back of one of the chairs. "No. She knows that my brother needs me more than she needs me."

Nathan rolled his eyes as he took another drink. "I don't need you, Luke."

Lucas leaned his hip against the island in the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest, and an eyebrow raised. "The fact that it's 3:30 on a Monday afternoon and you already cracked open a beer says otherwise."

"Whatever," Nathan mumbled. "I don't need a babysitter."

"I'm not your babysitter. I'm just here to help you and to make sure that you don't do anything stupid," Lucas corrected.

"So, my babysitter."

Lucas rolled his eyes. "You know that if you don't want me here, all you have to do is say so. You are the one who asked me to move in with you, remember?"

Nathan didn't respond. Instead, he took another drink. He was going to need another one soon.

Lucas sighed, running a hand over his face in agitation. "Anyway, as I was saying, I talked to my mom and she's transferring my rent for this month into your bank account tomorrow."

It was Nathan's turn to sigh. "I told you that, that wasn't necessary. Dad's money covers the rent."

"Yeah, but that sum of money is yours and I don't feel right using it when I have some of my own," Lucas explained.

"If you say so." Nathan finished off his beer before wiggling his way off of the couch. He headed over to the fridge to grab another but Lucas jumped in front of him.

"I don't think so," Lucas insisted. "You're not going to get drunk on a Monday night, not again."

Nathan narrowed his eyes and licked his lips. He could already feel his patience waning thin. He knew that Lucas was just trying to help him and deep down, way deep down, Nathan appreciated it. But, right now, it was just an inconvenience. "Move."

Lucas shook his head. "Not gonna happen, little bro."

"I need it," Nathan declared, attempting to move around him but Lucas was too quick.

"What happened today, Nate?"

Nathan ran a hand through his hair in a frustrated manner. He was starting to feel again as images of Haley's smile entered his mind. He couldn't let this happen. "Nothing."

"I know you're lying," Lucas objected. "I know you only drink to erase your feelings or when things get too hard. So, what happened?"

"Just drop it," Nathan sneered.

"Does it have something to do with the anniversary of-"

"Don't even finish that sentence."

Lucas sighed heavily. "Nate, look, I know that this time of year is hard for you but it might make it easier if you talk to me, if you let someone in."

Nathan opened his mouth to answer when a loud banging on their front door cut him off. Giving Lucas one last glare, Nathan tossed the empty can of beer on to the counter before heading over to their front door. When he swung it open, the anger that was coursing through his veins increased tenfold.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Nathan growled. "I thought I told you to stay the hell away from me."


	3. Chapter 3

Okay wow, I did not expect something in the last chapter to cause such a discussion in the reviews. To the reviewer who mentioned something over my use of "get over it": I am truly sorry if I offended you in any way or if I triggered you in any way. That was never my intention. I am someone who has experienced quite a lot of loss in my life time, some of which has been quite tragic and it has affected my life greatly. When I have been asked to talk about it, I have used the phrase "learned to get over it" many times, which has never been said in a negative way and no one had ever commented on my usage of it, so I didn't think anything of it when I included it in the story. I, also, included it so Nathan could have the "what the hell, what do you mean" reaction that he had. I will try and be more mindful of what I say in future updates. Once again, I apologize. I can assure that Haley's father's death plays a pivotal role in this story and it has indeed impacted her life greatly. The conversation with Nathan was just the introduction of it. Also, as other reviewers had pointed out, what was meant by the line was to say that Haley has learned to adjust to her new life without her father and has moved on from the life altering grief. I 100% appreciate your feedback and feel free to included any more feedback that you may have throughout the rest of the story. That goes for anyone. Although I have been writing for as long as I can remember, I am by no means a professional and I am always looking for ways to improve my writing.

I'm glad you all liked the way I had Naley officially meet. When I was first planning out this story, I wrestled with quite a few ideas of how I wanted them to cross paths. I wanted it be something different than them accidentally bumping into each other or something along those lines. I feel like a lot of fics use that, which I love and there's nothing wrong with that, I just like to be a little different. Then, I was re-watching 4x13 and the idea was born!

* * *

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Nathan growled. "I thought I told you to stay the hell away from me."

Damien West chuckled as he tossed his hands in the air, his palms facing forward. A sly smile was plastered on his face, his hazel eyes twinkling with mischief. "Woah, that's no way to talk to your best friend."

Nathan's eyes narrowed in response. "You're not my best friend. Hell, you aren't even my friend. You're dead to me."

"I guess I should go dig a grave next to mommy and daddy dearest in Tree Hill Cemetery, then. I mean, that is where the 'Nathan Scott is to blame' death party is right?" Damien remarked with a tantalizing smirk.

Nathan felt the anger surge through his veins, his nails digging sharply into the palm of his hands. He was just about to lunge forward when he felt Lucas' arm blocking his way. In a flash, Lucas was in front of him and was gently pushing him away from the door.

"Don't even think about it," Lucas ordered with a hard stare. Turning to look back at Damien, his glare only strengthened. "You have a lot of nerve showing up here. You know damn well that neither of us want you here."

Damien cocked an eyebrow. "And you know damn well that I always come and visit you guys this time of a year. It's a tradition, or at least, it has been for the last two years."

Nathan let out a breath of air, a dry and humorless chuckle leaving his lips. "I figured that after I beat your ass last year that you would get the hint."

"Oh, that's what that was?" Damien snickered. "I just thought I had a bug on my back and you were trying to kill it for me. My mistake."

Nathan snarled. The anger he felt was blurring his vision and he felt his body begin to tremble. No one could rile him up like Damien West could, after all, he was the reason his life was in absolute shambles. All he wanted to do was pummel him into the ground so he'd never have to see his face again. Deciding to act on those thoughts, Nathan attempted to lunge forward again but Lucas stopped him. Lucas was another person that was starting to become a real pain in his ass.

"Damien, you need to leave. Now. Before I decide to call the police," Lucas demanded.

Damien shrugged his shoulders. "Fine, I'll leave. I can see that Nathan's getting a little cranky. You might want to put him down for his nap."

"Leave."

"Daunte and Bear send their love," Damien said with a wink before turning on his heel and walking away. As soon as Damien was out of their sight, Lucas slammed the door shut.

"You should have let me beat his ass, again." Nathan growled.

Lucas shook his head. "That would have only made things worse."

Nathan ran a frustrated hand over his face. The anger was still boiling up inside of him, prodding and prodding. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the vase of flowers the funeral home had sent them a few days ago. It was perched on the kitchen counter, the happy and vibrant colors mocking him. Apparently, Quinn McGowen Funeral Home believed that sending condolence flowers every year is supposed to make a difference. With an angry swipe of his arm, he sent the flowers flying, the glass vase shattering against the nearby wall.

"Nathan!" Lucas yelled with a jump. "What the hell?"

Nathan's chest was heaving up and down as he stalked over to the hook that held of their keys, ignoring Lucas. He needed to get some fresh air before he completely lost his mind. He grabbed his car keys and made a move towards the door before Lucas stepped in front of him. He was starting to get real tired of Lucas getting in his way.

"Get out of my way," Nathan gritted out, his teeth clenched and his jaw locked.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Out. Is that okay, mom?" Nathan spat back.

"You're not driving," Lucas declared. "You've been drinking."

Nathan rolled his eyes. "I had one beer."

"Keys."

Nathan stared back at Lucas. There was a determination in his eyes, his stare cold and stern. Realizing that Lucas wasn't going to back down until Nathan handed over the car keys, he tossed the keys hastily back on the counter. "Fine, I'll walk." He brushed passed Lucas, making sure his shoulder bumped harshly into Lucas'.

"Nathan!"

"Don't wait up," Nathan yelled as he exited the apartment, slamming the front door behind him.

Lucas sighed as he slumped into one of the bar stools located next to the island in the kitchen. To say that he was worried about his brother was an understatement. Nathan was always more high strung during the time of the year but it seemed to be getting worse. Damien showing up unannounced at their apartment wasn't helping matters either. He was the reason they were all in this fucking mess.

It took everything in Lucas to not beat Damien to a pulp. He hated him with a fire burning passion, one that mirrored Nathan's hatred. The only difference between the two brothers was that Lucas knew how to control his anger. Plus, Lucas knew that losing control in front of Nathan would do more harm than good. He figured that setting a good example would be the best way to help Nathan. Although, the more that he thought about it, the more he wasn't sure what the right move to help Nathan was.

~x~

"Mom, I'm home!" Haley shouted as she stepped through the front door, Brooke and Peyton close behind her. The house was a lot cleaner than it had been on Friday. Haley and her mom had spent majority of the weekend unpacking their moving boxes. For the most part, they got everything unpacked with the exception of a few boxes filled with random knick-knacks. All of their furniture had arrived Friday afternoon and most if it was in its respective place.

"How was your day, honey?" Lydia asked as she made her way to the front of the house from the kitchen. She was still dressed in her work clothes- a dark grey business suit paired with a light pink blouse. Her light brown hair was pulled back into a slick pony tail. When she noticed Brooke and Peyton, a sweet smile spread across her face. "Oh, who are these pretty ladies?"

"This is Brooke and Peyton," Haley said as she motioned towards Brooke and Peyton. "Guys, this is my mom."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. James," Peyton said politely as she extended her hand.

Lydia accepted her hand and gave it a quick shake. "Oh please, call me Lydia. Mrs. James makes me sound old."

"It's nice to meet you, Lydia," Brooke said as she echoed Peyton's actions by extending her hand.

"I'm glad to see that Haley has already made a couple of friends," Lydia said with a smile, giving Brooke's hand a quick shake, as well. "I would love to stay and chat but I was just on my way out. Work meetings. I went out and bought some snacks this afternoon, help yourselves. I'll be home later tonight, Haley!"

And just like the wind, Lydia was gone.

"Your mom seems nice," Brooke giggled. "Busy, but nice."

"Where does she work?" Peyton asked.

"She's a travel consultant," Haley answered as she led them further into the house.

"That explains why you've moved so much," Brooke mumbled.

Haley nodded, a sad smile on her face. "Every few years, her work gives her a promotion and she can never say no. So, we pack up and move."

"You don't sound too happy about that," Peyton pointed out.

Haley shrugged as she started to walk up the stairs and towards her room. "It's not too bad. But, even if I did hate it, it wouldn't matter to my mom. All she sees is the dollar signs."

Moving was something that used to bother Haley, especially when she was younger. Leaving her friends behind used to be the hardest part of it all. They would always promise to stay in touch. It would begin as phone calls at least once a week, then once a month, and before she knew it, it had been years since she last heard from her childhood friends. Now, moving was like second nature to her, almost like it was as natural as breathing. She had tried to talk to her mom on many occasions but her response was always, "It's good money, Haley. I can't pass it up." And that would be the end of the conversation and once again, they would be packing up their lives. At this point, she just stopped trying.

"Wow that sucks." Brooke mumbled. "I'm sorry you have to deal with that."

Haley smiled at her gratefully. "Thanks."

When she reached the door to her bedroom, she pushed it open and motioned for them to follow her inside. Over the weekend, Haley was able to set up her room just the way that she liked it. The walls were a pale green with white borders and the carpet was a dark tan. Her bedspread was a lighter green color with blue and purple polka dots littering the fabric. The wall behind her bed was covered in pictures, most of which were of her family. All of her photography accessories were stored away in plastic containers positioned next to her desk. A dresser rested against the furthest wall, a few picture frames adorning the top of it. It was a little on the bare side, but that's just how Haley liked it.

"Cute room," Peyton mumbled.

"Are you being sarcastic?" Haley asked with a raise eyebrow.

Peyton laughed, shaking her head. "No. I do really like it."

"Well, thank you," Haley beamed. "Make yourself at home."

Brooke and Peyton threw themselves down on Haley's bed, their backs resting against the plethora of pillows Haley had on her bed. Haley took a seat at her desk, twisting the chair so that she was facing them. She swung her legs up so they were resting on the edge of her bed.

"Are these all of your brothers and sisters?" Peyton asked as her eyes scanned over the wall covered in pictures.

"Yup," Haley said. "I'm the youngest of seven."

"Holy shit," Brooke exclaimed. "Your parents were sure busy."

Haley couldn't help but laugh at that. "Let's just say that my mom didn't believe in birth control for a while. She believed that it was 'God's will' and if he wanted her to have a kid, she would have a kid. After she had me, she had her tubes tied because apparently I was the devil's baby."

Brooke and Peyton both gave her a weird look, which Haley laughed loudly at.

"It's not what it sounds like," Haley giggled. "She didn't think I was possessed or anything. I was just a lot fussier than my siblings were when they were babies. I cried _a lot_ and she just realized that should couldn't handle another newborn after me."

"I love your mom," Peyton commented. "I know that I barely know her but she sounds fun."

"She can be," Haley mumbled.

Noticing Haley's slightly bitter tone, Brooke took it upon herself to change the subject.

"Okay, moving on to more pressing matters, I saw that you got paired up with Nathan Scott for Mr. Harrison's little project today. How'd that go?" Brooke asked with a sly smirk and a raised eyebrow. She had been waiting all day to question Haley about Nathan.

Haley kept her head down as she suddenly became interested in her cuticles. Honestly, she wasn't really sure how to answer Brooke's question. She would be lying if she said that she hadn't been thinking about him since that class period ended. To be frank, he scared her, intimidated her. The constant shift of his attitude kept her on edge and she didn't know what to make of that. But, as much as he scared her, she couldn't shake the desire she had to get to know him. Speaking with him for that short amount of time only increased that desire.

He seemed like someone who came with a past, a rich history full of dark secrets and hidden demons. The expressionless glare in his eyes and the blank look that he tried to so hard to maintain was just a façade. It didn't take her long to figure that out. She saw the way his expression changed when she mentioned her father's death. There was a flicker of something, something she couldn't name. He was quick to shut down any of the advances she made to learn more about him, which told her that he was protecting something. Or maybe it was someone. Or maybe it was himself.

She had always been a sucker for mysteries and challenges.

She was at a loss for how she was going to figure him out, or if she was even going to try to figure him out. She wanted to, that was clear by how strongly she was intrigued by him but maybe she should just ignore it? It only took one conversation for her to realize that he was like Fort Knox with his feelings. She didn't want to prod. She didn't want to push him. If he didn't want to open up to her, she wasn't going to force him. She was no stranger to how it felt to be forced to talk about her feelings when she didn't want to.

God, what the hell was she doing? She was causing an internal frenzy for herself over a boy that she had just met a few hours ago. Haley suddenly felt extremely…silly. Stalker-ish. Creepy, even.

"Uh oh, she's day dreaming about him!" Peyton teased, breaking Haley out of her thoughts.

Haley felt her cheeks heat up but she kept her head down. She figured if they saw that she was blushing, the teasing would only get worse. "I wasn't day dreaming, I was just thinking."

"Same thing," Brooke said with a smirk. "So, give us details, Tutor Girl!"

"Tutor Girl?" Haley and Peyton asked simultaneously. Haley had definitely lifted her head up for that.

"Yeah, Haley told me today that she was thinking of signing up to be a tutor."

Peyton raised an eyebrow. "Okay, well, that's a story for later. First, Nathan."

"There's nothing really to tell," Haley offered up lamely. "We just did the assignment and then class ended."

Brooke let out an exaggerated breath. "You really suck at giving details."

"I told you that there wasn't much to tell."

"Let me guess," Brooke began. "He spent the entire class period brooding."

Haley shrugged. "I guess you could say that."

"You know what's funny," Peyton spoke up. "In middle school, Lucas was known as the brooding one. All he did was sit around and read. He was big into literature. Most people referred to him as a tortured author."

"And that's exactly why you had a crush on him," Brooke piped up with a giggle.

"Oh, come on! I did not!" Peyton defended, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Are you kidding me?"

Haley let out a loud sigh. She had only been friends with the both of them for a few days but she quickly realized that bickering was a common attribute to their friendship. She decided to tune them out, swiveling in her chair to start up her computer. It was only her second day at Tree Hill High but she already have quite a lot of homework.

"You had a crush on Lucas just like our girl Haley here has a crush on Nathan," Brooke accused, shifting the conversation's focus back to Haley. There was a playful glint in her eye.

Haley whipped around in her chair, her eyebrows furrowed. "No, I don't. I barely know the guy."

"But, you think he's hot," Peyton confirmed, happy that she was no longer at the receiving end of Brooke's teasing.

Haley let out a defeated sigh. "Your point?"

"My point is that you have a crush."

"I don't think that's exactly how that works."

Brooke sighed as she sat up in Haley's bed. Despite the fact that they were just teasing Haley about having a crush on Nathan, it made her uneasy. She didn't know Nathan all that well but from what she's heard about him, he wasn't good news. Haley seemed like a sweet girl and even though they hadn't been friends for long, Brooke cared about her. The last thing she wanted was for Haley to get her heart broken, something Nathan had definitely been known to do.

"Look, Haley," Brooke started, shifting the conversation to take on a more serious tone. "I'm not going to tell you who you can and cannot like. If you want to like Nathan, go for it. Just please be careful."

Haley felt a weird pang in stomach at Brooke's words. The serious expression on her face told Haley that she wasn't messing around. "I appreciate your concern, I really do, but it's unnecessary. We just talked for an assignment, that's the extent of it." _Keep telling yourself that, Haley._

"If you say so," Brooke said, not quite believing her but changing the subject before Haley could refute. "I was thinking of throwing a party this Friday."

"For what occasion?" Peyton asked.

Brooke shrugged. "My parents are going away on some business trip and I'll have the house to myself. Perfect excuse for a party if you ask me."

"Do you do this every time your parents leave town?" Haley asked with raised eyebrows.

Brooke nodded. "For the most part. You'll come, right? Come on, you have to!"

Haley sighed. She wasn't much of a party person but with the way that Brooke's eyes were pleading and her lips were curling up into a pout, there was no way she could say no. "I guess I'll see you there."

~x~

Haley rested her back against the hard and rough bark of a tree growing a couple of feet away from the basketball court. She could feel the tiny pricks of the grass tickling her skin through the fabric of her jeans. The sun was low in the sky, a dark purple and bright pink color dancing across the sky. The only source of bright light was coming from two rusty street lamps located on either side of the court. She could hear the rushing water of the river and the occasional chirp of a late blooming bird.

Lifting up the camera that was resting in her lap, she focused it on the setting sun. Shifting the view finder until she found a clear setting, she snapped a couple of more photos. Haley wasn't exactly sure how she ended up at this basketball court, again. Brooke and Peyton left her house about an hour ago and she felt the sudden need to clear her head. So, she decided to go for a walk and somehow her feet carried her here.

Unlike the first time she stumbled across this court, there weren't two boys battling on the court.

Haley sighed deeply, leaning her head back against the tree. She closed her eyes and allowed the sound of the river to soothe her. The slight breeze felt good against her skin causing tiny goosebumps to rise. She silently wondered why more people didn't come here. The scenery was absolutely beautiful and the atmosphere it provided was relaxing. She was already looking forward to coming out to this park in the spring, laying a blanket in the grass, and losing herself in a good book.

She reopened her eyes when she heard the loud horn of a passing ferry boat. By this point, the sun had completely settled in the horizon and a crisp darkness swallowed the meadow. Lights from establishments across the river twinkled back at her. She knew she should be heading home soon. Her mom would probably be calling her any minute, asking where she was. However, at the moment, she was too comfortable to move. She figured that a few more minutes couldn't hurt.

It was a few seconds later that she heard the soft scrapping of tennis shoes against concrete, followed by a hollow bounce of a basketball. Her head whipped around to face the source of the sound and her heart jumped in her throat when she saw Nathan emerge from the shadows and on to the illuminated court. He was without his usual leather jacket and jeans. Instead, a black t-shirt adorned his upper body, paired with dark blue basketball shorts.

Haley knew that there was no way Nathan would be able to see her where she was sitting. It was quite dark and the shadows of the tree she was sitting under covered her figure. Most people would probably view her sitting there and watching him as an act of being a stalker, but she couldn't bring herself to move. Nathan looked deep in thought and for some reason, she didn't want to disrupt that.

She watched with rapture as he twirled the basketball between his two hands, his gaze focused on the basket in front of him. He took a deep breath, his chest visibly rising and then falling. He bounced the basketball against the concrete a few times before bringing the ball up just passed his nose. Squaring his shoulders, he bent down slightly before lifting up and sending the ball flying from his hands. Her eyes widened when it flawless sailed through the net.

When he began a short jog to retrieve the discarded basketball, Haley gripped onto her camera and prepared it to take more pictures. Focusing it on Nathan, she began to snap away as he smoothly moved across the court.

As soon as Nathan felt the ball leave his hands and sail through the hoop, his mind became clear. All of the pent up anger and confusion he was feeling seemed to melt away. All the thoughts of him _feeling_ , the anniversary of his parent's death, Lucas' constant banter, and Damien showing up unannounced floated away. He finally felt his muscles relax, the tension becoming non-existent. The world faded away and the only thing that mattered was the game.

Basketball never failed to make him feel better. It was his one saving grace.

After leaving his apartment in a fury, Nathan spent most of the afternoon walking aimlessly around Tree Hill. He thought about going back to the cemetery but he didn't think that seeing his parents' names carved into granite stone was going to help his current situation. He was absolutely fuming. It had felt like pure fire was running through his veins. He wanted to punch something, preferably Damien's face.

 _Fucking prick._

Foolishly, Nathan believed that getting some fresh air would help calm him down. It wasn't until he reached the River Court that he realized exactly what he needed. In a haste, he ran back to his apartment, changed, and grabbed his basketball, all without saying a word to Lucas. He knew that Lucas didn't need to ask where he was going this time, he already knew.

When he was on the court, he could pretend that his life wasn't as fucked up as it was. He could pretend that his dad was sitting on the sidelines, cheering him on and shouting words of encouragement. He could pretend that his mom was sitting next to him, waving a small blue and white pom-pom, as she too cheered him on. Most of all, he could pretend that he was happy, that he could breathe without it being painful or that he could sleep without experiencing some kind of crippling nightmare. He could pretend he had the life he always dreamed of having.

Nathan dribbled the ball a few more times before running towards the basket, effortlessly leaping off the ground to slam the ball through the hoop. His grip remained tight on the hoop, the metal digging into his skin. He dangled there for a few seconds before he felt his arms begin to give out. Dropping from the hoop, he landed squarely on his two feet. He looked around for the basketball, his eyebrows furrowing when he it was nowhere in sight.

Haley's heart was hammering loudly in her chest. The basketball that Nathan was just playing with had rolled over to where she was sitting. Did she hand it back to him? No, she couldn't do that, then he would have known she had been sitting there this whole time. But what if he came looking for the ball and the saw her sitting there? She was screwed no matter which way you looked at it. She then decided that it would be better that she made her presence known instead of him finding out on his own.

She watched with a racing heartbeat as Nathan placed his hands on his hips, his eyes scanning the court, obviously looking for his ball. Steadying her camera, she slowly stood up. She carefully bent down to grab the discarded ball and held it between her two hands. Taking a deep breath, she emerged from the shadows.

"Looking for this?" Haley said softly.

Nathan's neck snapped in the direction of her voice. He swallowed hard when he saw Haley standing at the edge of the court, his basketball in her hands. Had she been here this entire time? He couldn't recall seeing anyone around when he first arrived, but then again, he wasn't really paying attention.

"Uh yeah," He muttered, taking a few steps towards her. She tossed it to him and he caught it. "Thanks."

Haley could easily read the confusion on his face and she nervously chewed on her bottom lip. She slipped her hands into her back pockets and began to rock on the soles of her feet. "I, uh, I was sitting over by that tree when you arrived. I wasn't sure if you knew I was here and you looked so deep in thought. I didn't want to disturb you. I swear I wasn't trying to be creepy or anything." She was well aware of the fact that she was rambling and she could feel her cheeks heat up at that knowledge.

"You're rambling," Nathan said with a short chuckle. "It's fine, really. I don't mind."

He supposed that he probably should have been a little creeped out that he had, in fact, had an audience this entire time but it didn't bother him. Not in the slightest.

"I'm sorry," Haley mumbled lamely.

"What are you doing out here all by yourself?" Nathan found himself asking. He re-positioned the basketball so that he was resting against his side. There was a voice in the back of his head, yelling at him to walk away and to stop talking to her. He ignored it. Something that he would probably regret later.

Earlier, he was frustrated because he was _feeling_ and now he was trying to carry on a conversation with the exact person he was frustrated with. Why must he always ask for trouble?

Haley shrugged. "I needed to clear my head."

"I know you're new around here and Tree Hill might seem like a safe little town, but I wouldn't make a habit out of roaming the streets alone at night. We have our fair share of creeps and a pretty girl like you would probably be their prime target," Nathan advised.

Haley couldn't stop the butterflies even if she tried. Did he just call her pretty? "I'll keep that in mind," She denoted, shifting on her feet.

Her movement caused his eyes to fall to the camera that was hanging around her neck. "I guess you weren't lying about the whole photography thing. Do you always have your camera with you?"

Subconsciously, Haley's hand reached up to grip her camera. "Basically. You never know when the opportunity of a picture perfect moment is going to arise."

"I supposed not."

An awkward silence fell over them and Haley took that as her cue her leave.

"I guess I should probably go," She mumbled as she began to walk back towards the path that would lead her back home.

"Stay," Nathan called out before he had a chance to stop himself. What the hell was he doing? "I could use the company."

Haley halted in her movements. "Are you sure? You seemed like you wanted to be left alone when you first got here."

"I was in a bad mood."

"And you're not now?"

He shook his head. "No, not anymore."

Haley pursed her lips together and gave him a quick nod. "Then, I guess I'm staying."

She dragged her body over to the rusty set of bleachers, plopping her body down on the second to last row. She rested her feet on the step below her and wrapped her arms around herself. She tried her hardest to ignore the fringe of excitement she felt at Nathan asking her to stay. At this moment, he seemed like a completely different Nathan than the one she talked to this afternoon. He looked more relaxed. His eyes weren't as cold. She tried to ignore the fringe of excitement she felt at that too.

Nathan turned his attention back to the basket and away from his audience. He dribbled the ball between his legs a few times before running up to the basket. He jumped a short distance, the ball ricocheting off of the backboard before falling through the hoop.

"I thought you said sports didn't interest you," Haley commented with a raise eyebrow.

Nathan shrugged. "They don't."

"But you're playing basketball and last time I checked, basketball was a sport."

"I'm not playing basketball. I'm shooting a ball through a hoop. There's a difference," He countered.

"How so?" Haley challenged.

"Basketball requires an opponent. I'm not playing against anyone. I'm just shooting around," Nathan explained as he picked up the ball from the ground.

Haley was going to argue against his logic but chose to brush it off. "Well, you should consider playing basketball because you're really good."

"That's never going to happen," He asserted.

Haley sighed in response.

"Aren't you going to ask me why?" Nathan prodded.

"No," Haley said with a shake of her head. "You probably weren't going to answer me so I wasn't going to bother."

The corner of Nathan's mouth twitched up into the slightest hint of smirk. "You're right, I wouldn't have."

Haley swallowed hard at the sight of him smirking. Fuck, he was hot. "I'm a quick learner."

"Evidently," Nathan noted. "What about you? Do you play any sports?"

"That would be a no. I have no sense of coordination and I'm natural born klutz," Haley informed him.

"I'm sure you can't be that bad."

"Oh, trust me, I am _that_ bad," Haley said with a small laugh that Nathan swore he felt all the way down to his toes.

Nathan tossed the ball at her. "Take a shot."

Haley's poor reflexes really showed when she barely caught the ball in time. It was centimeters away from hitting her in the face. "Oh, I don't think so."

"Come on," Nathan encouraged. "I want to see just how bad you really are."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Well, that's encouraging."

"Don't be a wuss."

Haley was never one to back down from a challenge. She knew she was about to embarrass the hell out of herself in front of Nathan but that was better than him referring to her as a wuss. She dropped the ball to the grass before carefully removing her camera from around her neck. She set it down gently on to the metal bar of the bleachers and then reached for the ball. Taking a calming breath, she walked over to where Nathan was standing.

Nathan stepped out of her way and allowed her to take center court. She gripped the ball with both her hands and pushed her hands out in front of her. With a small jump, she released the ball in to the air, only for it fall a few seconds later with a loud thud. The ball hadn't made it anywhere near the basket.

"Okay, I guess you really are _that_ bad," Nathan mused.

"I told you."

Nathan picked the ball up from the ground and handed it back to Haley. "Here, let me give you a few pointers."

Haley raised her eyebrows at him. "Why exactly?"

"Because that was just plain embarrassing," He teased, a smirk playing on his lips when her cheeks tinted a dusty pink. "It's really not that hard to shoot a simple basket."

"Okay, Mr. Professional, show me how."

"Bring your one arm up like this," He bent his arm in the way he wanted her to mimic.

She followed his lead closely.

"Okay, good. Now bring the ball up, just past your nose and square your shoulders," He instructed. Once again, she did as she was told.

Then, he stepped closely behind her. He was immediately met with a strong scent of vanilla that completely invaded his senses, something he definitely wasn't expecting. God, she smelled good. Her blonde hair blew softly in the wind and he fought the urge to run his fingers through the soft stands. Everything around him was shifting rapidly and it made him dizzy. His heartbeat picked up in speed as he swallowed hard. All of this just because he had stepped a little closer to her?

He then realized that _it_ was happening again. He could feel his throat begin to close up but he tried to ignore it. He could do this. _You don't feel anything, Nathan. Stop it._

Hesitantly, he placed his hands on her hips, his eyes snapping shut as she audibly gasped. That sound brought a shiver down his spine. He could slowly feel himself losing control. Losing control of everything he had tried so hard to maintain. He took a calming breath before leaning forward so that his lips were hovering a comfortable distance away from her ear. "Relax your hips," He whispered hoarsely.

Haley wasn't sure what the hell was going on right now. All she could focus on was Nathan. His fingers were digging harshly in to the flesh of her hips and her whole body tingled at the sensation. She could feel the warmth of him surrounding her. The strong scent of his cologne was clouding her senses. She was surprised that he smelled so good, especially after he was running around and working up a sweat. And when his hot breath fanned across the side of her face, her body began to tremble.

She slightly titled her head and swallowed thickly when she realized just how close he was. Her heart was hammering so hard in her chest, she was sure that Nathan could hear it. She felt light headed, her mind turning hazy. She couldn't move. It was like every muscle in her body was covered in a sheet of ice. How exactly had they ended up in this position? And why was it having such an effect on her?

"Nathan," She whispered breathlessly. For what reason, she wasn't sure.

Hearing her say his name had flipped a switch inside of him. His hands dropped from her hips as if he had been burned and he immediately distanced himself from her. He wasn't sure what the hell had just transpired between them but all he knew was that he needed to get out of there.

"I gotta go," He rushed out.

And just like that, cold Nathan was back. Furrowing her eyebrows, Haley dropped the basketball and watched in confusion as Nathan hastily gathered his things. Without a word and without a second glance her way, he began to walk away.

"Wait!" Haley called after him. She mentally chastised herself for sound so desperate.

That stupid voice in the back of his head was screaming at him to keep walking, but, of course, his body had betrayed. Stopping in his tracks, he slowly turned back around to face her. "What?"

The hard tone of his voice caused Haley to falter slightly. "Uh, my friend, Brooke Davis, you probably know her, she's having a party Friday night. You should come," She yelled back at him. _Really, Haley? He's practically running away from you and now you're inviting him to a party? Real smooth._

He cleared his throat. "I'll think about it."

And with that, he turned back around and left a very confused and a very embarrassed Haley behind.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you all for being so patient with me. I am officially done with all school related obligations and now have a lot of time on my hands. Updates should resume to being more frequent now!

I thought this might be important to mention- Naley's relationship in this story is going to be kind of a slow progression-at first. Like I mentioned in the author's note of the first chapter, Nathan's got some twisted issues that run deep. As you can already tell- he drinks a lot, can't control his anger, and apparently has this voice in his head that won't shut the fuck up. It's going to take a lot more than just a few conversations with Haley for him to start to let go of all the pain he's carrying, or at least, want to try and let go. (I.e he's going to need professional help, which we'll get to eventually). I'll be honest, Nathan is going to be back and forth/hot and cold with Haley for a little while. But, it's all a part of his journey of finally letting someone in after two years of bottling everything up and finally letting himself feel after focusing on nothing but his anger and grief. As much as I want to jump right into the happy and in love Naley, I don't think it would very realistic to rush through all of Nathan's issues. I plan for this story to be quite lengthy. I'm not exactly sure how many chapters yet but I definitely have a lot to cover.

P.S. To the reviewer who said something about jealous Nathan- I have plans for jealous Nathan. I am an absolute sucker for that version of him so don't worry, he'll come around.

P.S.S. This chapter is a lot longer than the previous ones. Once I started typing, I just couldn't stop. I went back through to maybe delete some stuff but it all felt very necessary. I have to say that I am 100% pleased with how this turned out, which rarely happens when it comes to my writing. Hopefully, you all agree. Okay, I'll shut up now, hahaha.

* * *

 _It was unbearably hot. He could feel the sweat dripping down his face and clinging to his back. His lungs were burning, cough after cough tearing from his throat. He could barely keep his eyes open, the thick air causing them to water. His body felt weak, like he would collapse at any moment. He ignored that feeling and forced his body further on. He had to keep going. He had to save them._

 _He was in his bedroom, or what was left of his bedroom. The flames had already destroyed one half of his room and were quickly licking their way to where he was standing. His desk, his bed, all of the trophies he had resting on his dresser, all of the posters on his walls...they were completely swallowed in the crackling flames._

 _Panic and fear were quickly bubbling up inside of him._

 _The screaming came first. It was a piercing scream that brought goosebumps to his slick skin. It was a desperate plea of his name that had his heart pounding even harder in his chest. Whipping his head around, he frantically searched for the door to his room. When he finally spotted it, he sprang into action. He weaved his way through the flames, his body only grazing the heat. Once he reached the door, he swung it open to reveal a long dark hallway, also engulfed in an angry fire._

 _When he heard the scream again, he began to run. He quickly realized that even though he was pushing his body to run, he wasn't going anywhere. With every step he took, the hallway seemed to become even longer and with that, the screaming got louder. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest and he felt as if all the air had been sucked out of his lungs. Ignoring those feelings, he pushed on._

 _"Nathan!" A desperate scream could be heard through the roaring of the fire. The voice was clearly female and Nathan recognized it immediately._

 _"Mom!" Nathan yelled back as hot and salty tears began to pour from his eyes. "Hold on, mom! I'm coming to get you. Please, hold on!"_

 _"Help me! Oh, God, it hurts, please help me!"_

 _He increased the speed of his running, his feet hitting hard against the wooden floor. The longer the hall way became, the faster he forced himself to move. Finally, after what felt like hours of running, he reached the furthest door at the end of the hallway. He reached to grab the door handle, only to jump back and yelp in pain. The metal handle was scorching hot. Placing his hands against the wooden door, the panic inside of him increased tenfold. The door was unbearably hot, meaning that room had succumbed to the fire._

 _"Please hurry!"_

 _Nathan frantically looked around, the tears still falling from his eyes. She was in that room. He was sure of it. But, how could he get the door open without being killed by the fire first? There was nothing in that hallway except for debris, charred wood paneling and ashes of family heirlooms. He let out a shaky breath, the feeling of desperation and defeat swirling around in his stomach._

 _"Nathan, please."_

 _Her voice sounded weaker. The fear and the desperation was still evident, but he knew she was slipping away. He couldn't give up. He had to save her. She didn't deserve to die, especially not in this way-not at the hands of his mistakes. He was going to get that door open and if he ended up dying while saving her, then so be it. He was the one who deserved to be swallowed up by the flames._

 _Mustering up every bit of strength that he had, he rammed his shoulder into the door. A searing pain ran down the side of his body, but he ignored it. Once again, he gathered his strength and rammed into the door. He did this a couple of more times before the wood finally gave way. He fell backwards when a huge gust of fire came barreling out of the now open doorway. Holding his body up by his elbows, he let out an exasperated cough, his chest heaving up and down. He watched in utter fear as the flames completely blocked the doorway._

 _He could hear her cries, the weak sobs leaving her lips. His name was a continuous chant. His insides were twisting in pain and his lungs were burning. If he stayed in the house any longer, he would most likely die from suffocation but there was no way he could leave her behind. Pushing himself off of the ground, he glared hard at the flames. There was a small airway between the flames, if he was quick enough, he could jump right through it._

 _"Mom, I'm coming for you!" He shouted back._

 _Taking a deep breath, which only resulted in another cough, he ran forward and jumped through the flames. He landed flat on his stomach, his nose colliding harshly with the wooden floor. The pain speared through his body and a wet trail of blood trickled into his open mouth. He was sure his nose was broken but even that wasn't going to stop him. He scrambled to his feet, wiping away the blood from under his nose. Quickly, he realized that action was futile. The blood was a constant waterfall._

 _Deciding to ignore his injury, his eyes swept across the room in search of his mom. His heart jumped in his throat when he saw her sprawled out on the floor, face down. A large wooden pillar was laying on top of her, holding her down. She remained completely still, almost lifeless and that scared him shitless. Her blonde hair looked matted with blood and a nasty burn covered her entire left arm._

 _"Mom!" He dejected, flinging his body over to her. He slid on his knees until he was right next to her. His whole body was trembling as gripped on to the fallen pillar. He gave it a hard shove, the tears spilling faster down his cheeks when it didn't budge. "Damn it!"_

 _Nathan froze when he noticed Deb's body move. She weakly tried to push herself up and off the ground but her arms gave out."Nathan?"_

 _"I'm right here, mom. I'm going to get you out of here," Nathan cried, once again trying to push the pillar off of her body._

 _"It hurts," Deb whimpered._

 _Nathan felt his throat close up as her words washed over him. The guilt that was simmering away inside of him was a full on boil now. He swallowed hard as he felt the adrenaline begin to pump through his veins. Over and over again, he pushed on the wooden pillar. It shifted only a centimeter before his arms gave out and he fell forward. He landed on the palm of his hands and shook as the anger, frustration, and sadness ripped through his body._

 _"Nathan," She whispered._

 _"I'm so sorry," He sobbed. "Mom, I am so fucking sorry. This is all my fault."_

 _"Nathan," She called out again, lifting her head up from the ground. She twisted slightly so that she was facing him._

 _Nathan looked over at her and his eyes immediately widened when the girl staring back at him wasn't his mom. He felt like he couldn't breathe and this time it wasn't because of the smoke. He felt as if he heart had actually stopped beating._

 _"Haley?"_

Nathan shot up in his bed, a thick layer of sweat coating his skin and matting down his hair. He was breathing heavily, his chest heaving up and down. His fingers knotted themselves in the thin sheet that was covering his body, willing his rapid heartbeat to calm down. Glancing over at the alarm clock that was sitting on the table adjacent to his bed, he saw that it was quarter to six. His alarm would be going off within the next hour for him to get up for school but he doubted that he would be able to fall back asleep. Not after that dream.

Tossing the sheet off of his heated body, he slid out of his bed and stumbled into the bathroom that was attached to his bedroom. In one fluid motion, he turned on the cold water and splashed his face. Bracing himself against the counter, he took a couple of deep breaths as droplets of the cool water dripped from his face.

That damn nightmare was playing over and over again in Nathan's head like a broken record. It was a reoccurring nightmare, one that had plagued his sleep for the last two years. The only difference was that normally his mom was the one that he couldn't save, not…Haley. This was the first time she had ever shown up in one of his dreams and the fact that it was that particular dream left him uneasy.

Nathan pushed himself up and reached for the towel that was draped over the edge of the counter. He dabbed at his face until it was relatively dry. Tossing the towel back on the counter, he paused to look at himself in the mirror. His eyes were sunken in and his skin looked sickly pale, which could only be explained by the effect years of no sleep had on the body. Seeing his body as worn as it was didn't surprise him anymore.

After a few seconds of staring at his tired features, his gaze fell to the deep scar that stretched diagonally across the width of his chest. It was ragged, a deep pink that stood out like a sore thumb against his olive skin. Delicately, he dragged his fingers against the mark, feeling the bumps and hard skin. Nathan came face to face with this scar almost every single time he looked in the mirror but that didn't stop the pain from resonating deep in his chest. It was a constant reminder of everything that he had done, of everything that he had selfishly sacrificed.

It was one of the many reminders of why he didn't deserve anything good in his life.

~x~

"Is Grumpy up yet?" Jake teased as he walked into the Scott brothers' apartment, shutting the door behind him. It was just a few minutes passed seven, leaving them a good half hour before they had to be at school. Jake stopped by almost every morning so the three of them could carpool together.

Lucas hopped up on a bar stool, leaning back so his elbows were resting against the granite counter. "Actually, Nathan left about twenty minutes ago. He said something about needing to get a book out of his locker or some shit like that."

Jake raised his eyebrows at that as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "And you believe that?"

"No," Lucas said with a heavy sigh. "But he had that look on his face. I knew that if I stopped him to ask questions, it would've just ended in another screaming match."

Jake strolled over to the stool next to Lucas and plopped his body down on it. The teasing expression quickly dissipated from his face. He slumped his shoulders, his heart heavy with concern. "I'm worried about him, Luke. For a while, I thought maybe he was finally getting better, but now it just seems like he's getting worse."

Lucas nodded in agreement. "I think he's having those nightmares again."

"What makes you say that?"

"I heard him yelling for mom last night," Lucas revealed. "That probably explains why he was up so early."

Jake ran a frustrated hand through his curly hair. "He needs to see someone. Maybe talking to a professional will help him let go of all this guilt he's carrying. Or, at least, maybe they could put him on some kind of medication that will help lessen his anxiety and depression."

"You know he won't go for that," Lucas countered. "We already tried that approach. Don't you remember what happened? He flipped over a table and walked right out of the therapist's office…ten minutes into their first session."

"Of course I fucking remember," Jake said while jumping up from the stool. The frustration of feeling so helpless was starting to get to him. "We can't just let this go. We can't just let him continue to tear himself up over this. One of these days it's going to kill him. I refuse to just sit back and watch my best friend die."

Lucas swallowed hard. "Trust me, Jake, I know. This is affecting me just as much as it's affecting you. But, I'm at a loss of what to do and I hate feeling this helpless."

Jake shook his head, placing his hands on his hips. "Damien deserves to rot in hell. I cannot believe that he's allowed to just walk the streets and be free after what he did. He killed two people for God's sakes! And now we're all left here to suffer, especially Nathan."

"That's the justice system for you," Lucas grumbled. "Apparently having two eye witnesses wasn't enough to convict him. They needed physical evidence."

"The justice system is fucked," Jake snorted.

"You can say that again."

~x~

Haley stuffed her tutoring binder back into her backpack as she said her final goodbye to her morning appointment, leaving her alone in the Tutor Center. The other tutors had finished up a few minutes before her. It was only third day of her being a tutor and she already had a full roster. Haley had approached Principle Turner on Tuesday morning about being a tutor and he had wasted no time getting her set up. Brooke wasn't lying when she said that they were desperate for some new tutors. She was half expecting Principle Turner to start crying when she said she wanted to be tutor, he was that elated.

It wasn't until he had handed her a full roster of students and a perfectly crafted schedule of when her sessions would take place did she begin to feel apprehensive. The natural worrier in her surfaced- What if she wasn't any good? What if she couldn't help anyone? What if she hated it? However, it only took one session for her to fall into a perfect rhythm. Somehow, it felt right and she couldn't find the words to describe how happy it made her when someone she was tutoring finally found clarity.

Haley saw this victory as even more proof that Tree Hill was exactly the place she was meant to be.

Once all of her belongings were secured in her backpack, she stood up from the round table. Looking up, she froze when she saw Nathan standing in the doorway. He was leaning against the frame, his arms crossed over his chest. To her surprise, he wasn't wearing his normal leather jacket, but instead a black sweater paired with a pair of dark washed jeans. His expression was blank, his cobalt blue eyes holding their usual intensity.

Haley shifted nervously under his gaze. They hadn't said a word to each other since their strange encounter Monday night at what she now knew was the River Court. She had seen him around school and in English class, but he never looked her way. The insecure part of her brain allowed her to believe that maybe he was purposely avoiding her. After all, he did scurry away from her like she was an axe murder or something.

Nathan wasn't quite sure how he had ended up in the Tutor Center, staring back at the girl who had the starring role in all of his thoughts for the last three days. He left his apartment early this morning with the intention of finding some kind of distraction, something that would stop him from thinking about that stupid dream. His first idea was to go to shoot around, but physically and mentally he felt too drained to even pick up a basketball. So, the school was where he ended up. When he passed the Tutor Center, that's when he spotted her and his feet, on their own accord, led him into that very room. Apparently, his feet didn't care that his brain was trying to remove her from his thoughts, not add more fuel to the fire.

His eyes trailed over her body and he couldn't stop himself even if he wanted to. She was wearing a pair of light wash jeans that hugged her curves in just the right places. A baby blue skimmer top with a low, but still modest, neckline adorned her upper body. Her blonde hair fell in soft waves over her shoulders. From where he was standing, her make-up looked light, accentuating her natural beauty. God damn it, why did she have to be so enticing?

A sour taste crept up the back of his throat when his dream began to replay in his head.

"What are you doing here so early?" Haley found herself asking, keeping her head down to hide the blush that had formed on her cheeks from his obvious staring.

Nathan cleared his throat, thankful for her breaking the silence. Another second and God only knows what other images from his dream his brain would conjure up to torture him with. "I couldn't sleep."

Haley puckered her lips, her eyebrows furrowing. "So, your alternative to sleeping was to come to school? And my friends call me the nerd."

Nathan chuckled softly as he pushed himself off of the doorframe, stepping further into the Tutor Center. "I suppose that does sound a little odd. Are you a tutor now?"

Haley nodded. The initial nervousness she felt at his arrival was quickly melting away. "It's kind of a new hobby of mine. My mom always preaches about how getting involved in school looks great on college applications. It was either this or cheerleading, clearly I chose the former."

Nathan arched an eyebrow at that. He would have never pegged her as a cheerleader, then again, he would have never pegged her as a tutor either. "Cheerleading?"

"Brooke Davis' idea."

Nathan nodded, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He started to rock on the soles of his feet when an awkward silence crept its way between them. He thought back to what had transpired between them on Monday and felt the sudden need to explain himself in some way. He swallowed thickly, deciding his next words carefully. "I, uh, I wanted to apologize."

Her forehead creased. "Apologize?"

"For leaving so abruptly on Monday. I didn't mean to be rude, I just happened to remember that I was supposed to help Lucas with some project. He's very anal when it comes to being on time and shit like that," Nathan easily lied.

For some reason, Haley didn't quite believe him. His gaze didn't meet her eyes and he was rather fidgety. Instead of questioning him on it, she shrugged her shoulders and smiled softly at him. "It's alright."

"Good," Nathan responded with a half-smile. He turned to leave only to pause a few seconds later. "Brooke's party is tonight, right?"

"Yes," Haley confirmed. "It starts at 9."

"Maybe I'll see you there."

~x~

"What's your poison?" Brooke shouted over the loud thumping of the music.

Haley's eyes trailed over the large card table Brooke had set up in the back of her house, which was completely covered in various bottles of liquor and cans of beer. "Uh, I think I'm just going to stick with water."

Brooke whipped around to face her, a single eyebrow raised. "Are you a straight edge?"

Haley chewed on the inside of her cheek as she shrugged her shoulders. "I wouldn't necessarily say that, I just don't like to drink. It's probably because a few years ago, my sister, Taylor, forced me to take shots with her at some bonfire that she hosted and I spent the next twenty four hours with my head in the toilet. I think I still have PTSD from that."

Brooke laughed as she reached over to grab the bottle of Pineapple New Amsterdam, pouring some of it into the red solo cup she was holding. "Understandable. There's a couple of bottles of water in the fridge, help yourself. Once you're done, come meet us over by the beer pong table. That's where we're all hanging out."

And with that, Brooke bounced away with her drink in her hand. It was easy to see that Brooke was in her element, acknowledging almost every single person she passed with a bright smile on her face. Haley, on the hand, felt completely out of place. Parties were never her thing, at any school that she attended. Crowds made her claustrophobic and loud music gave her headaches. Plus, the dark green dress that Brooke lend to her was a lot tighter and showed a lot more skin than something Haley would normally wear.

But, there she was, at a party, because she just couldn't say "no" to her new friends. _And because she couldn't pass up the opportunity of possibly seeing Nathan again,_ her subconscious reminded her.

Taking a calming breath, she headed over the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water off of one of the shelves before heading over to where Brooke was standing. Naturally, Brooke was surrounded by a group of people. Haley immediately spotted Peyton and recognized Mouth, who was standing off to the side. Brooke had her arm wrapped around some guy with reddish-brown hair and a boyish grin on his face. Haley assumed that he must be Julian, Brooke's boyfriend that she was always gushing about.

"Haley! It's about time you joined us!" Peyton cooed as she tossed an arm over her shoulder.

Haley sheepishly grinned when the group of people surrounding Brooke shifted their attention towards her arrival. "Hey," She said softly.

"It's about time I met the new girl that Brooke has been raving about," The boy she deemed as Julian said, extending his hand. "I'm Julian Baker."

Haley's lips curved up into a half smile as she shook his hand. "Haley James."

"Damn! The rumors are true. You're hot as hell," A brunette boy dressed in baggy jeans and a black t-shirt pipped up from next to Julian. His eyes raked over Haley's body in a way that made her shift uncomfortably.

Brooke reached over to land a rough smack on his arm. "Jesus, Vegas, could you be any more of a pig?"

Vegas laughed in response. "I just call it like I see it."

"Ignore him," Peyton grumbled. "He forgot to take his 'shut the fuck up' meds this morning."

"Oh, come on, it was a compliment. You girls are too uptight," Vegas said with a roll of his eyes.

"A compliment is telling a girl she looks pretty or that her hair looks nice, not staring at her like she's a piece of meat," Julian spoke up, giving him a shove. "You need to work on your communication skills, man."

"Whatever," Vegas muttered.

"Alright," Brooke said as she clapped her hands together. "How about a game of beer pong?"

Haley soon found herself sitting on the arm of a leather couch, her water bottle tightly clasped in her hand, and an intense game beer pong between Brooke and Julian and Peyton and Vegas occurring in front of her. Every once in a while, Vegas would send winks her way and she would have to pretend she didn't see them. He was just another one of the million reasons she wasn't a huge fan of parties.

It was getting to be almost eleven and there was still no sign of Nathan. She had lost count of how many times she did a sweep of the room full of people, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. Every time the front door opened, her heart skipped a beat only to plummet when the person walking in wasn't him.

She couldn't help but feel pathetic, waiting on someone that deep down she knew wouldn't show.

"Okay, Tutor Girl, who do you keep looking for?" Brooke asked, placing her hands on her hips, a knowing look on her face.

Haley jumped at the sound her voice, her cheeks reddening with embarrassment. "Uh, no one."

She arched her eyebrow in a way that was just so Brooke. "Has anyone ever told you that you're a terrible liar?"

"Yes, in fact they have," Haley mumbled as she began to twist the lid to her water bottle.

"Then, spill."

The determined look on Brooke's face told Haley that she wasn't backing down. Sighing, she reluctantly revealed who she had been looking for. "I kind of invited Nathan."

Peyton's eyebrows furrowed at that. "You sure have been talking to him a lot lately. I saw him in the Tutor Center with you this morning."

"It's no big deal. He was just looking for someone," Haley rushed out. She wasn't sure why she felt the need to lie. Maybe it was because the incredulity in Peyton's voice made her uneasy. "While he was there, I happened to mention that Brooke was having a party, that's it."

"Wait, Nathan as in Nathan Scott?" Julian chimed in, dropping the ping pong ball he was holding into a discarded solo cup.

Haley nodded.

Julian's jawline visibly clenched. "I would say clear of him, if I were you."

A shiver ran down Haley's spine at the sharpness that was now prevalent in Julian's voice. "Why's that?"

Julian sighed. "You seem like a nice girl, Haley. One of the good ones. Nathan's bad news. He's been bad news for most of his life. You're just asking for trouble by getting involved with him."

"He hangs around with Damien West and his gang of low-lives," Vegas butted in. "They're infamous when it comes to drugs and corruption. Rumor has it, Damien is the reason Nathan's parents are dead and Nathan helped."

Haley's eyes widened at that, her throat suddenly feeling very dry. "His parents are dead?"

Vegas nodded. "Yeah, about two years ago in some 'freak accident' that caused a house fire. It was the biggest scandal to ever grace Tree Hill."

Haley wasn't really sure how to respond that. Her stomach was in knots at this new found information. She wasn't sure what to make of it. His reaction to her talking about her own father's death definitely made sense now, but did he really have something to do with his own parent's deaths? The serious expression on everyone's faces definitely proved that they believed there was some truth to that rumor.

"I need some air."

~x~

"Nathan dragging us to a party, this is definitely a new development," Jake joked as they walked the cement pathway that led up the Brooke Davis' mansion of a house.

Nathan shrugged indifferently. "I didn't feel like staying in tonight."

Jake and Lucas exchanged a curious look as the three of them entered the house. It was already completely jam packed with people, the music drowning out everyone's conversations. Nathan began to look around. He knew exactly who he was looking for, but he didn't allow his brain to say her name. After taking a few steps more into the house, he spotted Brooke and Peyton over by the beer pong table, Haley nowhere in sight.

Glancing behind him, he saw that Jake and Lucas were already heading towards the liquor table. Before they could notice his disappearance, he continued to sweep through the house. It wasn't until he saw the back door open that led out to a patio did he find her. She was sitting on the edge of it, her legs dangling of the side. He back was to him, her soft blonde hair, which was straightened, was blowing in the wind.

He paused in the doorway, the weight of what he was doing finally hitting him like a ton of bricks. He knew that he could turn around and act like he was never there. She would never know the difference. Once again, his feet seemed to have a mind of their own and before he knew it, he was walking over to her.

"Is this seat taken?"

Haley jumped at the sound of Nathan's voice, her head snapping up to look at him. Her heart was in her throat but she swallowed it down. "Nope."

Nathan saddled up next to her, leaving a comfortable distance between their bodies. "What are you doing out here all by yourself?"

"I just needed some air," Haley muttered. "It's really crowded in there."

"Yeah," Nathan responded, his eyes falling to the water bottle in her hands. "Water?"

Haley sheepishly smiled, lifting the water bottle out of her lap to show him more clearly. "I'm not much of an alcohol drinker. It doesn't sit with me well."

It was a microscopic detail about her that in the big scheme of things, meant nothing, but it was yet another reminder of how different they were.

"I wish I could say the same," Nathan joked, resting his elbows on his knees.

Haley smiled. Julian and Vegas' words still burned in the back of her mind but she pushed them aside. Besides, they were just going off rumors. The boy that stood in front of her didn't seem capable of the things they were accusing him of. "I was beginning to think you weren't going to show."

"Truthfully, I didn't think I was going to either," Nathan admitted. "Parties really aren't my thing."

He had spent a good hour debating with himself whether or not he was going to come that night. That voice in his head kept telling him that it was a bad idea. He had to stay clear of Haley and going to that party was just asking for trouble. But of course, he chose to do just the opposite.

"That's surprising. I kind of had you pegged as a partier, especially since you hang around with the two biggest basketball players at Tree Hill High," Haley mumbled with a small smile.

"It never pays to judge a book by its cover, Haley," Nathan replied with smirk. "I used to be huge into partying but it lost its appeal to me."

"Does that have anything to do with your parent's death?" Haley blurted out before she realized what she was saying. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth, her cheeks burning of embarrassment.

Nathan tensed, the warmness in his eyes disappearing. "How do you know about that?"

She swallowed hard. "I'm sorry. I just, I heard a rumor, that's all. I really didn't mean to offend you or anything."

His facial expression softened when he saw how regretful she was of her outburst, her brown eyes shining with something that was hard to decipher, at first. It wasn't fear or pity, something that he had often seen in people's eyes whenever they looked at him. Her eyes held this type of sympathy that he had never seen before, mixed in with a grave innocence. It pierced his heart.

"You didn't offend me," He finally spoke. "I just wasn't expecting you to find out about that so quickly. Although, I probably shouldn't be surprised. My life is constantly a topic of conversation around here."

It was hard to miss the bitterness in his voice.

"I hope I'm not overstepping any boundaries when I say this but if you ever want to talk about it, I'm always available," Haley stated quietly. "Losing a parent…it's hard. Losing my dad changed my entire life. I could never imagine losing both of my parents, but maybe I could still be of some assistance."

Nathan felt a calmness come over him at her words. No one, besides Lucas and Jake, had ever offered something like that to him. Most people acted like they knew him, like they knew everything he was going through and never cared enough to find out the truth. There was a genuineness to Haley, one that most people didn't have. She was like the sliver of sunlight in a dark and gray torturous sky.

And that was exactly why Nathan started feeling guilty about spending so much time with her. He was sucking her in, sucking her into a life that she had no business being in. The taunting voice in the back of his head was screaming at him, a piercing sound that he had to fight like hell to push back. It took everything in him, internally, to do just that. Somehow, he was able to.

"Thank-you. I'll keep that in mind," Nathan said, a genuine smile gracing his face.

Haley smiled back, her heart skipping a beat the sight of him smiling. She'd never seen him genuinely smile and she found that she liked it. The way his eyes light up, the years of tiredness it seemed to wipe away…his smile was beautiful and she wished to God she'd be able to see it again.

Tearing her eyes away from him, she looked back at the clock that was just inside of Brooke's house. Her eyes widened when she saw that it was a little past twelve. Her curfew was twelve-thirty and her mom would probably kill her if she was late. Abruptly, she jumped up from the porch.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I gotta go. Curfew," Haley babbled, brushing the dirt off the back of Brooke's dress.

Nathan followed suit, standing up as well. "How are you getting home?"

"Uh, I was going to walk. It's only about a mile," She responded.

"Let me walk you home," He offered. "It's late and I wouldn't feel right letting you go by yourself."

"Okay," She gave in. "Sure."

The walk to her house was silent, save the sound of the leaves crunching underneath their feet and the occasional howl of the wind. Oddly enough, it was a comfortable silence. The type of silence that existed between two people who were content around each other. It was that same silence that allowed Nathan's thoughts to go haywire.

The voice was back and it was stronger than ever. It had come out of thin air, almost knocking him flat on his back. He should've been used to this by now. The loud octave was screaming at him to put an end to whatever was forming between them since that night on the River Court and to do it fast. The guilt was creeping up inside of him, threatening to eat him alive. Images of Haley's lifeless and burned body re-entered his mind. He knew that, that was her fate if she stayed around him.

There was no way he could live with that.

"This is me," Haley announced when they reached her house.

Nathan barely registered her words as he followed her up the pathway that led to her front door. He knew that he had to do something. Without even thinking, he gently grabbed her and pinned her up against the brick of her house. Through the fog that was invading his mind, he heard her squeal at his sudden actions. A sound that he felt all the way down to his toes.

Her heart was beating loudly in her chest as Nathan's fingers knotted themselves in her hair. She couldn't look up, her eyes staying trained on the little patch of skin of his collarbone that wasn't covered by his zipped up leather jacket. He was so close to her, his hot breath fanning across her face. His fingers that were delicately dancing across the skin on the back of her neck felt like electric shock waves running through her entire body. The little voice in the back of her head was screaming at her to run away but it felt as if her feet had suddenly become a permanent fixture in the concrete of her porch.

Gently, Nathan yanked Haley's head up, forcing her eyes to meet his. A shiver ran through his body when she audibly gasped. He watched as she stared back at him, her brown eyes so full of curiosity mixed in with a sliver of fear. A heavy weight seemed to be lifted off of his shoulders at the slightest hint of fear, fear was good. She needed to be scared of him. He needed her to be scared of him.

Despite himself, took a step closer to her. Her minty breath danced across his lips and he felt them tingle in response. He watched in fascination as her eyes fell closed and she tucked her bottom lip between her teeth. It took absolutely everything in him to not press his lips against hers.

Taking in a deep breath of cold air, he finally spoke, "You don't want to get involved with me, Haley."

The sound of Nathan's gravel voice had Haley's eyes popping open. His blue eyes were staring back at her so intensely. They were pleading, silently begging her to listen to his every word. A warning sign. She never was good at following directions. "Nathan," She began softly.

He shook his head, silencing her, "I can't give you anything. I can't give you what you deserve."

"I never asked you to," Haley quickly shot back, her voice quivering just slightly.

The corners of his mouth turned up into a small and sad smile. Ever so gently, he brushed the pad of his thumb against the warm skin of her cheek. There was a pang in his chest when her eyes fluttered closed once again. She was so Goddamn beautiful, it made his heart ache. There was an alarm going off inside his head. A bright red light that was flickering incessantly, begging for his attention. He needed to leave, and he needed to leave now or he feared that he would never find the strength to.

Forcing his hand away from her soft and warm skin, he took a step back from her. "Just trust me, you're better off if you stay away from me."

Haley's eyes snapped open at his words, her eyebrows furrowing together. She had so many questions, so many questions that she knew he wouldn't answer…but she wanted to ask anyway. Before she had the chance to open her mouth, Nathan was already walking away from her. She wanted to call out to him, beg him to come back so they could talk but it was like she couldn't find her voice. So, instead, she watched his retreating figure. An uneasy feeling swirled around in the pit of her stomach as a dark voice in the back of her head taunted her with Nathan's previous words.

 _"You're better off if you stay away from me."_

~x~

Quietly, Nathan closed the door to his apartment. He saw Jake's car in the parking lot, so he knew they were back from the party, but by the looks of it, they were asleep. The apartment was dark and silent. He slid out of his jacket and hung it back on the hook before stepping further into the room. His mind was still reeling from being with Haley. Every one of her movements a permanent fixture in his memory.

"You're home early," Jake's voice came from the couch.

"Jesus Christ!" Nathan shouted, his hand coming up to rest over his heart. "You scared the shit out of me."

Jake chuckled as he sat up from the couch, swinging his legs over the side. "Sorry."

"Is Luke asleep?"

Jake nodded. "Yeah, he passed out as soon as we got back."

Nathan also nodded. "Okay, well I'm going to head to bed." He turned to go towards his room but he didn't get very far before Jake spoke again.

"I saw you with that girl."

Nathan froze, his heart thudding hard in his chest. Slowly, he turned around, trying his hardest to keep his voice as level as possible. "Haley?"

"Yeah," Jake confirmed. "She's beautiful."

Nathan instantly recognized the look that was on his best friend's face. It meant that he wanted to talk and what he wanted to talk about, Nathan wasn't interested. He swallowed thickly. "Yeah, she is."

"You know-"

"Don't start," Nathan growled, his fist clenching at his side.

Jake stood up from the couch, a loud sigh escaping his lips. "Nate, I haven't seen you smile, like actually smile, in God only knows how ever long. But tonight, with that girl, you actually smiled."

Nathan shook his head. He really did not want to be having his conversation right now. Right now, he just wanted to fall into a deep sleep, a sleep that hopefully would free of him Haley. "Don't read too much into it."

"You can't keep your heart closed off from love forever," Jake said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Love isn't real," Nathan mumbled bitterly.

"Oh, trust me, it is. And it's a beautiful thing."

Nathan rolled his eyes, his jaw clenching. Frustration and anger were the only two things he was feeling now. The look on Haley's face when he left her on the front porch of her house was continuously flashing in his mind.

"Look, it doesn't matter, okay? Because even if I did believe in love, you know that I can't go there. Haley, she's a good person. She's pure and innocent and she's everything that I'm not. I can't bring her into this life. She deserves more than that," Nathan declared, his eyes alight.

Jake took in the way Nathan was speaking and the look that was evident in his eyes. That was all he needed. A slow smile spread across his face. "You do feeling something for her."

"No," Nathan quickly denied before sighing. "I don't know. Just drop it, okay?"

Jake closed the distance between them so he was standing right in front of Nathan. He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Stop running from your feelings, Nathan. You're only going to end up hurting yourself more."

But didn't Jake know that the only thing he was good at was running away?


	5. Chapter 5

I hit a patch of writer's block. Well, I guess it wasn't exactly writer's block. I have this entire story planned out and I know what I want to happen but what I had in my head wasn't translating well into words. Everything that I was writing just felt like absolute crap. It wasn't flowing well and my backspace button definitely got a work out. It could have been me just being hard on myself but I find it hard to post something when I'm not at least 75% happy with it. I put a lot of effort it my stories and I want to post my best work for you guys, not my mediocre work. I'm still not extremely happy with the way this chapter turned out. I don't want to say that it's boring because it seems that every time I say that, you all disagree but in my eyes, it's quite boring. I tried to make Jake and Lucas kind of a comical relief in this chapter but I'm not entirely sure how well I did with that, haha. There isn't a ton of Naley in this chapter but there are some conversations that happen in this chapter that are vital to the plot. The amount of Naley action does pick up immensely after this.

Also, before anyone says anything, Damien's motives/plan is nothing like Ian's in Razor Sharp. After reading this chapter, you might think I am heading in that direction and it might seem like that a few times through out this story, but I can guarantee you that I am not.

* * *

Haley's eyes scanned the worn pages of John Steinbeck's _Sweet Thursday_. It was one of her favorite books, which could easily be corroborated by the amount of dog-eared pages and the deteriorating spine. Ever since she could pick up a book, she loved to read. She loved everything from older literature and memoirs to mysteries and romances. Reading was her escape from whatever drama had invaded her actual life and right now, an escape was exactly what she needed.

She couldn't stop thinking about what happened between her and Nathan the previous night. It was starting to drive her crazy. Every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was his face. The intense way he was looking at her was going to be embedded in her memory for all eternity, she was sure of it. She couldn't stop thinking about how to felt to feel his skin against hers. His fingertips had barely brushed against the skin on the back of her neck, yet she swore she could feel him everywhere.

She thought for sure that he was going to kiss her. His eyes continuously fluttered between her lips and her eyes. She could have sworn his eyes took on a much darker shade when her teeth sunk into her bottom lip. Never in her life had she wanted someone to kiss her as much as she did in that moment. But instead of doing what she so desperately wanted him to do, he demanded that she stay away from him.

His cold words still echoed in her ears like a mindless chant.

Instead of being turned off by his words, she found herself even more intrigued. She had even more questions now. Questions that were only driving her crazy because she knew there was no way in hell Nathan would ever answer them. So, there she was, stuffing her nose in a book and trying her hardest to forget everything that involved Nathan Scott, for the sake of her sanity.

The cafe she was sitting in was just the calming atmosphere that she needed. It was scarcely populated with an older couple eating in a booth against the window and a middle aged man drinking a cup of coffee at the counter. The walls were painted a pale yellow, with oiled paintings encased in maple wood frames hanging on the walls. There was a gray couch in the corner and a bookshelf overflowing with books adjacent to it. A small woman with dark hair and an infectious smile was standing behind the counter, humming a beautiful melody. Haley assumed she was Karen, the owner of the cafe.

Everything was peaceful until…

"I am never ever, ever, drinking again," Brooke groaned loudly as she slid into the seat of the booth that was across from Haley. She was slouching, her head resting on the palm of her hand.

Haley sighed, placing her book face down on the granite table top. "Well, good morning to you, too, Brooke."

"My head feels like there is a mariachi band playing inside of it," Brooke complained further. She was wearing a dark pair of sunglasses and Haley was positive Brooke was still wearing her clothes from the night before.

"Jesus, Brooke, how much did you drink?" Haley asked, folding her arms across her chest and sitting back in the booth.

Brooke shrugged. "I don't have a clue. I blacked out. The last thing I remember was making out with Julian and Peyton yelling at us to get a room."

Haley raised her eyebrows. "Does this happen often?"

"Oh, yeah. Every single time Julian and I make out, Peyton always bitches. It's become a running joke between all of us."

Haley shook her head, giggling softly. "I meant the blacking out part, not the making out part."

"Oh," Brooke muttered. "Then, no, not really. It's just an occasional thing."

"That can't be healthy."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Probably not. But enough about me, where did you disappear to last night? You said you were going to get some air and then just never came back."

Haley shifted uncomfortably against the leather of the booth. She could lie, but what exactly was her purpose for lying? It wasn't that big of a deal, she had to remind herself. "Oh, uh, Nathan ended up walking me back home. Curfew and all that."

Brooke perked up at that. "Nathan? As in Nathan Scott?"

"Is there any other Nathans in Tree Hill?" Haley asked with furrowed eyebrows. It seemed like every time she mentioned Nathan, someone always had to ask for clarification.

"Well, no. It's just bizarre to hear about Nathan hanging around someone other than Lucas and Jake," Brooke explained as she removed the sunglasses from her face. "You guys have been hanging out a lot."

Haley shook her head, her cheeks dusted a light pink. "We haven't been hanging out. We've only talked a handful of times."

"Which is more than most people in this town can say," Brooke pointed out. "I know I was messing around with you about it at first, but in all seriousness, do you like him?"

Brooke's question caught Haley off guard. Her heartbeat accelerated as she looked down, avoiding Brooke's questioning eyes. Her hands dropped into her lap, her fingers nervously picking at the skin around her nails. She had only known Brooke a little over week but she was already proving to be a really good friend.

"I don't know if 'like' is the right word," Haley answered honestly. "I'm just drawn to him, I guess."

"So you like boys with a little bit of mystery?" Brooke teased, her lips curving up into a smirk. When Haley shrugged, Brooke's expression fell serious. "Look, I don't know much about Nathan. I don't think I've ever even said a word to him. All I know is the stuff that I hear about him through the rumor mill and the things I've heard, well, let's just say they aren't good."

"If you're going to tell me to be careful, you can save it," Haley said gently as she lifted her head back up to meet Brooke's gaze.

Brooke cracked a smile. "Yes, I was going to tell you to be careful but I was also going to tell you to go for it. You're the first girl that Nathan hasn't sent away, that's gotta mean something and if I were you, I'd take advantage of it."

"Really?" Haley asked incredulously.

"Definitely," Brooke confirmed.

"Brooke, your order's ready!" Karen called, placing a brown paper bag full of food down on the counter.

"Well, that's my cue. Peyton and I are having a movie day. You should stop by later, after you're done being a nerd. Seriously, Tutor Girl, who reads on a Saturday?" Brooke teased, her nose crinkling in disgust towards the book in front of Haley.

Haley just shook her head. "I'll think about it."

~x~

"I'm telling you, Luke, Nathan's smitten by her, even if he doesn't want to admit it yet," Jake insisted. They were on their way to Karen's Cafe and this was the only time Jake could talk to Lucas about this. It was rare when they hung out and Nathan wasn't around.

"Smitten?" Lucas asked with a laugh. "I don't think anyone has been smitten by anyone since the 1950's."

Jake rolled his eyes. "I'm serious. You should have seen him. The way he looked at her, they way he smiled...there's something there. And then when I talked to him after he came back from the party? He immediately went into protective mode. He started talking about how she was too good and how he couldn't drag her into his life. I saw that look in his eye."

Lucas angled his body to face Jake. "Are you sure you're talking about my brother?"

"I'm dead serious."

Lucas sighed as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "You know he'll never go for it. Even if he does feel something for her, he'll bury it until it's long forgotten."

"That's what I'm worried about," Jake confessed. "I know a girl isn't going to solve all of his problems, but I think it might be a start. I have a good feeling about her."

Lucas took in Jake's words as he walked up to the door of his mom's cafe. Holding the door open for Jake, he walked in and immediately smiled at his mother. "Hey, mom! Smells good in here."

Karen looked up from the register she was balancing and smiled at her son. "Good morning, Lucas, Jake. Where's Nathan?"

"He was still asleep when I left," Lucas answered as he slid into one of the stools located around the counter, Jake followed suit.

Karen smiled sadly, her hand reaching over to grasp Lucas'. She could see the worry etched in both Lucas' and Jake's face. It was wearing them down. "You're doing a the best that you can, Luke. You both are."

"Thanks, mom."

"That's what I'm here for," Karen said, giving Lucas a pat on the hand before pulling away. "Well, listen, you boys are welcome to anything in the kitchen. I've got to take this money to the bank. Cheryl's here today so she'll deal with the customers."

"Sounds good."

Once Karen was out of earshot, Jake began talking again. "I know I keep saying this and I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but I wish there was something we could do."

Lucas nodded at Jake while scanning the occupants of the cafe. He paused as soon as he saw Haley. She was sitting in a booth across the way from where they were sitting, a book in her hands. When he saw the book she was reading, an idea popped into his head. "There is something we can do but it's kind of devious."

"And what would that be?"

"We meddle," Lucas stated, turning to face Jake. He nodded his head in the direction of Haley.

Jake glanced at Haley before looking back at Lucas, his eyebrow raised. "What did you have in mind?"

Lucas smirked as he explained his plan to Jake. It was a stretch, it was kind of forward, and it could definitely blow up in their faces, especially with Nathan's unpredictable moods, but it was all they had.

"Do you think she'll go for it?" Jake muttered.

Lucas shrugged. "I have no idea, but it wouldn't hurt to try. The worst thing that could happen is that she says that she has plans or she decides to come with us and Nathan blows up because she's in our apartment."

"This is a terrible idea."

"I think it's genius," Lucas declared while getting up from the stool. "Wish me luck."

Jake shook his head, a small smile on his face. "Good luck, man."

Stealthily, Lucas headed over to where Haley was sitting. If he were being honest, he was a little nervous about what he was about to do. Clearing his throat, he wiped his hands on his jeans and walked until he was standing directly in front of her table. "Steinbeck, huh?"

Haley jumped at the sound of his voice. She head successfully lost herself within the words of her book and wasn't expecting an interruption. Her stomach did a flip when she realized it was Lucas Scott standing in front of her. "Uh, yeah. He's one of my favorite authors."

"Mine too," Lucas said with a smile. "Of Mice and Men is my favorite book of all time.

"Oh, yeah, it's a classic," Haley mumbled. She was unsure of why exactly Lucas was talking to her and it was a little unnerving.

"I'm Lucas Scott," He said as he slid into the other side of the booth. "You're Haley, right?"

She nodded. "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I never would have guessed that you read Steinbeck."

"Why? Because I play basketball?" Lucas asked with a smirk.

"Well, yeah," Haley admitted sheepishly. "I have this bad habit of making assumptions about people, I guess."

"Oh, I love literature. If this whole basketball thing doesn't work out, that's what I'll probably study," Lucas informed her.

"I've thought about studying literature," Haley muttered, her fingers picking at the edge of her book. She instantly found that talking to Lucas was easy. He was a lot warmer than his brother and definitely a lot more open. Once again, she found herself wondering what exactly had happened to Nathan that made him so drastically different than his brother. "But, I'm not sure it's something I could see myself making a career out of."

"You know, I have a set of first edition Steinbeck's," Lucas announced, shifting the conversation back to his original plan.

Haley's eyes widened at that. "You're kidding!"

Lucas shook his head. "Nope. My dad bought them for me for my sixteenth birthday. Most sixteen year old boys want a car, but nope, I wanted a set of books."

"That's incredible," Haley gasped. "I've been looking for a first edition Steinbeck forever. Most of the ones I find are either counterfeit or outrageously priced."

"My dad knew some trader or something," Lucas explained, smiling inwardly. This was going a lot better than he thought it would. "Do you want to see them? They're signed, stamped, and everything."

"If you wouldn't mind?" Haley asked with an excited smile. Okay, so call her a nerd, but first edition books by her favorite author were hardly something she could pass up. She wasn't lying when she said that she'd been looking for a first edition. All thoughts of it being kind of weird talking to Lucas immediately flew out the window.

"Not at all," Lucas assured her. "I just have to get Jake and then we can go."

When Haley nodded, Lucas slipped out of the booth and walked over to Jake with a proud smile on his face. "Phase one, complete."

"That did not just work," Jake exclaimed, his mouth agape.

"Oh, yes it did. And if I know Nathan as well as I think I do, he got up for a run about ten minutes ago and should be heading back to the apartment within the next half hour," Lucas said with a twinkle in his eye.

"We're diabolical."

"Anything for love."

~x~

Nathan's feet pounded hard against the asphalt, the music blaring loudly through his headphones. His black t-shirt was sticking to his body, the sweat pouring down his face. It was an unusually hot day in Tree Hill for the fall. The sun was blazing and the humidity made it hard to breathe. These conditions didn't bother Nathan, though. He welcomed the heat. He relished in it.

Running was the only thing he could do to get rid of all the frustration and tension that had worked its way into his body. He couldn't go to the River Court because that place was tainted with images of _her_. He could still remember the way it felt to have his hands on her hips or the way the wind blew the scent of vanilla in his face when he tried to show her how to shoot a basketball. Hell, every time he closed his eyes all he saw was her brown eyes staring back at him.

It didn't help matters that he had that same stupid dream again.

She was officially driving him crazy. He thought that by forcing her away from him, he would also be able to force her out of his thoughts. She was _just_ a girl, just some stupid girl. He had been around hundreds of girls in his lifetime and had no problem ignoring them or forgetting that they existed. Why was she any different? _Because she's kind, she actually seems interested in what you have to say, and she's the first person outside of Jake and Luke that has tried to break past the walls that you've locked yourself up in._

Apparently, he was wrong when he thought running would help him clear his head.

Nathan slowed down his run as he neared the edge of the dock. His muscles were cramping and his lungs were burning, just like the way he loved to feel after running. He pulled the headphones out of his ears and hung them over his neck. Placing his hands on the wooden fence surrounding the dock, he tried to regain control on his breathing.

"Well, well, would ya look who it is," Damien's voice came from behind him.

Nathan felt the the tension in his body rise to unbelievable heights, his fingers digging into the wood. It was amazing how quickly Nathan's emotions changed when Damien was around. "I'm really not in the mood to deal with you today, West."

Damien walked until he was standing beside Nathan. Leaning his elbows against the wood, he looked out and into the water. He squinted his eyes in the sun, the water radiating a blinding glare. "Always so hostile. You know, things really don't have to be this way. We used to be friends, don't you remember?"

Nathan swallowed hard. "No."

Damien straightened his posture, his hand reaching out to touch Nathan's shoulder. "Oh, come on, you remember all those nights we used to spend in my backyard, getting wasted and getting high?"

Nathan shook his head, yanking his shoulder away from Damien's hand. "Do you have a reason for continuously harassing me or did you just run out of people to pay to be your friend?"

Damien clicked his tongue, his expression hardening. "I tried to be nice to you, but I guess since you want it your way, I'll just cut to the chase. You still owe me."

Nathan's head snapped up at that, the bewilderment clear on his face."Owe you?"

Damien nodded. "What? Did you think that we were even because of what happened to mommy and daddy dearest?"

Nathan looked away, his lips pressed into a hard line. His fists clenched and he swore his blood pressure sky rocketed. He didn't like where this conversation was going, not in the slightest.

"Oh, you did? That's cute, Nate," Damien falsely cooed. "We're never going to be even until you pay me back all the money you owe me."

Nathan furrowed his eyebrows, the anger burning through his veins like a rampant wild fire. He licked his lips before turning to face Damien. The venom in his voice was practically palpable. "You mean to tell me that setting my house on fire and killing both of my parents wasn't enough for you?"

Damien raised his hands, his palms facing outwards. "Now, in my defense, that wasn't supposed to happen. The fire was just supposed to be a warning. It's not my fault that they got trapped inside."

"You're unbelievable," Nathan muttered as he turned his back. He couldn't stand being there for another second. His heart was racing and his hands were shaking with rage. They were on a public street. The last thing Nathan needed was to pummel Damien into the ground and then get the cops called on him.

"No, what I am is very pissed off. You still owe me thousands of dollars, Nate. Shit like that just doesn't go away," Damien yelled after Nathan's retreating figure.

Nathan paused and glanced over his shoulder. "I don't owe you shit."

~x~

"You live in apartment? By yourself?" Haley asked, her mouth slightly agape. When Lucas said the books were back at his place, she assume that they would be heading to a house or maybe even an apartment that he shared with his mom, not this. What eighteen year old who was still in high school could afford an apartment?

It wasn't a luxury apartment by any means, but it was still quite large and comfy. The kitchen and living room area were seated next to each with no dividers. The counter-tops were granite and the cupboards were stained wood. A large flat screen TV rested on top of a chestnut brown entertainment center and the couch was a dark tan leather. The walls were cream and the entire kitchen was hardwood. Not to mention, all of the appliances were stainless steel.

"Actually, I don't live by myself," Lucas corrected her as he headed back into his room. Reaching up into his closet, he grabbed the box of books before heading back to where Haley and Jake were. "Nathan's my roommate."

Haley's heartbeat accelerated at the mention of Nathan. Her throat felt dry and she loudly cleared her throat as she seated herself on a bar stool. So, two eighteen year old boys lived in an apartment, by themselves. She couldn't help but wonder if maybe Nathan was home. How would he react if she was there? She couldn't imagine his reaction being a good one considering…

Lucas plopped the dusty box on the counter and began to brush it off. "I bet you're probably wondering how we can afford to live in this place."

"To be honest, yeah, a little," Haley admitted as she gnawed on her bottom lip with the blunt edge of her teeth.

"They're drug dealers," Jake joked from the couch, causing Haley to giggle.

Lucas rolled his eyes. "Ignore him." He rested his arms on top of the brown and blue box before continuing. "Well, I'm sure that you've heard about the death of Nathan's parents."

Haley nodded.

"Well, Nathan's dad was also my dad."

"I'm really sorry for your loss," Haley quickly cut in.

Lucas smiled genuinely at her. "Thank- you. Anyway, our dad left us each a lump some of his savings and then donated the rest of it to charity."

"Oh," Haley mumbled. "Your mom was the owner of the cafe I was at, right?"

"That would be her."

Haley began to nervously twirl her fingers around each other. "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened with your parents?"

Lucas sighed. "Honestly, it's such a boring story, I wouldn't want to bother you with it."

Haley shook her head. "You wouldn't be. I want to know. I wouldn't have asked otherwise." If she wasn't going to get answers out of the other brother, she was going to take advantage of the brother who was going to give her answers.

Lucas walked around to the side of the counter that Haley was sitting on and hopped on to the stool that was next to her. "My parents dated pretty much all of high school but broke up right before their graduation. It wasn't anything that major, they just realized that they wanted different things and the spark just wasn't there anymore, or something like that. My mom didn't find out that she was pregnant with me until she was about four months. She didn't have any symptoms, I guess. By that time, my dad had already started dating Nathan's mom, and surprise, she was a month pregnant."

Haley's eyes widened. "That's crazy...like actually crazy."

Lucas chuckled. "Yeah, kind of. There was some tension between my mom and Deb for awhile. Plus, I couldn't imagine how my dad felt during that time, considering he got two different girls pregnant. Whenever I asked my mom how her and Deb got so close, she just says that they bonded over their children."

"Wow," Haley exclaimed. And she thought coming from a family of seven kids was strange.

"We weren't the most conventional family," Lucas muttered. "But we made it work. Now, enough about me, let's look at these books."

While Haley and Lucas gushed over the first edition Steinbeck books, Jake got up from the couch to look out the window. His eyes widened when he saw Nathan jogging down the pathway across from the apartment complex. If Lucas wanted to perfect his plan, they needed to get out of there and fast. Quickly, he dug his phone out of his pocket and pretended to be looking at a text.

"Uh, Luke, my sister is apparently having car trouble out by South Riverbend. Her car just like stopped running or something," Jake blurted out, trying to make his voice sound as panicked as possible. "Do you think you could come with me? You are the car expert, after all."

It didn't take more than a second for Lucas to catch on. "Oh, yeah, sure. Let me just grab my car keys."

Haley placed the book that she was looking at down and began to slide out of the stool she was sitting in. "I guess that would be my cue to leave as well."

"No," Lucas quickly protested. "Stay and enjoy the books. This won't take long at all."

Haley's forehead crinkled in confusion."Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. I trust that you won't rob us or anything. Besides, we should only be gone twenty minutes at the most," Lucas rushed out as he and Jake scooted out the front door.

Haley watched in utter confusion as they seemed to bolt out of the apartment. It was odd to her that they felt comfortable with leaving a complete stranger in their apartment, unattended. Not that she was a thief or anything, but she could easily take anything that she wanted. It felt weird for her to be there, too. In retrospect, she probably should have left as soon as Lucas and Jake did, but she really wanted to look more at the Steinbeck books. Who knows if she were to ever get a chance like this again?

Deciding to just stay a few more minutes to look over the books, she hopped off the stool and reached into the box to grab another book. It was while she was skimming through the pages that something at the bottom of the box caught her eye. Reaching further into the box, she grabbed on to the stack of pictures that were banded together by what looked like a hair-tie. She knew that she should have put the pictures away and went back to looking at the books, but after seeing what the first picture was, she couldn't put them down.

It was a picture of Nathan surrounded by two people who she assumed were his parents. He looked a lot younger, thirteen, maybe fourteen years old. He was wearing a light blue Nike shirt and he had the biggest smile on his face. It was almost inhuman to see him smiling as big as he was. There was a petite blonde woman standing next to him, a bright smile on her face, her arm wrapped around his shoulder and her head leaning against his. She was dressed nicely, in a pink blouse and grey trousers. The man on the other side of Nathan towered over him and his arm hovering over Nathan's shoulders to grip the woman. His medium brown hair fell in his eyes. He was also smiling. The shirt he was wearing matched Nathan's, only it was green instead of blue.

They looked like a perfectly happy family. Haley's heart both warmed and broke at the sight. Nathan looked close to the both of them, like he was just a kid who loved his parent's deeply. She swallowed hard as she stared at Nathan in the picture. He looked so happy and it was the complete opposite of how he looked now. That alone was enough to break her heart.

She was just about to flip to the next picture when she heard the front door to the apartment open and then close. Looking up, she about dropped the stack of pictures when she saw Nathan standing in the doorway. His back was to her and from where she was standing, it looked like he had headphones in. His hair looked slicked with sweat and his shirt looked damp. Her heart was racing in her chest and she felt the panic quickly rise up inside of her.

Unable to tear her eyes away from him, she watched as she pulled the headphones out of his ears and wrap them around his iPod, before stuffing it in the pocket of his shorts. Her eyes widened even further when he began to pull his shirt off and over his head. He clearly had no idea that she was standing there and she debated with herself over if she should make her presence known or not. Unfortunately for her, she didn't have to make that decision.

Nathan turned around and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Haley standing in his kitchen. His heart dropped to his stomach and he swore he felt his knees buckle. The first thing he noticed was how beautiful she looked, something he mentally cursed himself for. Her blonde hair fell in soft curls, framing her face in a way that was hell on the heart. She was wearing a pair of simple jeans and a plain black long sleeved shirt. He gulped.

This couldn't be happening right now. There was no way she was actually standing in his apartment. And if she was, this had to be some kind of sick joke. He had spent most of the day fighting to get her out of his and once again, there she was. After dealing with Damien, this was the last thing he needed. The part of all of this that frightened him the most was that he was more concerned about the fact that he had told her to stay away from him and she didn't listen than he was about the fact that she was standing in his apartment, unannounced.

Haley tried to keep her eyes on his face but it was proving to be impossible. He was standing in front of her without a shirt and holy shit, he was perfection. Every muscle on his body looked as if it were perfectly sculpted. He looked as if he had just stepped out of a catalog full of perfectly photo-shopped models. The sweat glistened and she swore there was no way he was real.

She didn't miss the deep scar that stretched across his upper chest. The deep pink skin caused a million more questions to pop in her head. Whatever had happened to him looked painful and she felt this sudden urge to comfort him. She wanted to brush her fingertips across his skin and somehow, magically take away any pain that he had ever felt.

"What are you doing here?" Nathan gritted out a lot harsher than he had intended.

Haley's stomach clenched at the cool tone of his voice. "Y-your brother invited me over to look at these books. He and J-Jake left a few minutes ago to help Jake's sister. Lucas said I could stay."

Nathan's jaw clenched, his fist wrapping tighter around the shirt he was holding. The fact that she seemed buddy-buddy with his brother didn't sit well with him. "Since when do you talk to Lucas?"

"Since today, I guess," She answered quietly. "I can leave, if you want."

Nathan took in a calming breath. It didn't surprise him when that voice in his head started to scream at him to tell her to leave. But he couldn't do that, she was here for Lucas, not him. Or so he reasoned with himself, but deep down he knew it was just his way of defying that _stupid_ voice.

"It's fine," He bit out as he started to walk towards his room. The less time he was around her, the better. Albeit, he wasn't sure if being in a separate room was going to help any.

Haley felt as if someone had slapped her across the face. Nathan was a lot colder towards her than he was previously. She supposed that she shouldn't have been that surprised by that, considering not even twenty four hours ago he was telling her to stay away from him. There was a part of her that almost felt angry towards him. Where did he get off on treating her like this? She was well aware of what people said about his tendency to push people away, but that didn't mean she had to stand for it.

"Did I do something to upset you or make you angry?" She blurted out before she was fully aware of what she was saying. Her voice was quivering and she mentally cursed herself for it.

Nathan froze. "What?"

She took a step towards him as she spoke much firmer this time. "Did I do something to you to make you not want to be around me?"

Nathan chuckled dryly. "I tell you that you're better off if you stay away from me and you think there's something wrong with you?"

"What exactly do you mean I would be better off?" Haley pressed on.

Nathan tossed the shirt that was in his hand on the couch before running that same hand through his damp hair. He should just walk away and let her come up with her own assumptions, but it was like his feet were welded to the carpet. He let out a frustrated sigh before answering.

"I'm dangerous, Haley. I'm not a good person."

Haley stepped even closer to him as she shook her head. "I don't believe that." And she didn't. What she saw before her was someone who was broken. Someone who hit a rough patch in their life and was having a hard time digging their way out of the hole they were in. He needed help and she wanted to be the one to help him.

"Well, you should," Nathan barked. "I have a lot of fucked up issues that you don't need to get yourself roped up into."

Before Haley realized what she was doing, she was standing directly in front of him. She knew he was trying to scare her off, just like what he was trying to do the night before. Maybe she was stupid or maybe she believed too faithfully in fairy-tales and happy endings. Whatever it was that was possessing her wasn't allowing her to leave Nathan alone.

"Maybe I could help," She replied timidly.

She was so close to him. Her intoxicating smell of vanilla was invading all of his senses. His mind was quickly becoming hazy. His heart was pounding in his chest and he could feel a warmth spreading through his body. Her brown eyes were glistening and he found himself drawn to them. Good, God, she was making him _feel_ again. For the love of everything holy, he didn't want to _feel_.

"You can't," He croaked out. "I've done a lot of bad things, Haley. Things that if you knew, you wouldn't ever want to see me again."

Haley could see the pain and the regret swirling around in his blue eyes, but even that didn't deter her. "You're not gonna scare me away, Nathan."

He shook his head. "You don't know that, just like you don't know me."

"But, I want to."

Nathan was shocked by the amount of sincerity that colored her words. He could see the truth in her eyes. She wanted to know him, even the darkest parts of him. He could feel himself losing control and that damn voice was screeching at him. He watched with rapture as she lifted her hand up to touch him and he knew that if he allowed her to do that any self control that he had left would be gone.

"Don't," He pleaded.

She ignored him. Her hand reached up to cup his cheek, her thumb brushing delicately across the bone. His eyes involuntarily closed as a rush of tingles spread throughout his entire body. For a second, he allowed himself to feel the warmth she brought to him. When he felt her other hand brush across the top of his chest and over his scar, he shuddered. Never in his life had someone touching him so innocently ever felt so good.

He needed to regain control of the situation. He needed to get away from her before he completely snapped.

"I-I can't," He mumbled breathlessly. "I can't do this."

He made no attempt to move.

Haley reveled in the feel of his skin. It was so soft and so smooth. Even the scar, which was rough and hard, felt good. She wasn't sure what had come over her, all she knew is that she couldn't stop. Nathan's face was contorted in pain, like he was fighting against her touch and that only fueled her more. There were butterflies in her stomach and she was trembling. There was something going on between them. She wasn't sure what it was, but she liked it.

Dropping her hand from his cheek, she continued to trace the scar with the fingers on her other hand. She smiled softly when he visibly shivered, his eyes still closed. "What happened?"

And just like that, he was back. It was like someone had dumped a cold bucket of water on him and reality came rushing back. Images of the house fire and his mom screaming for him flashed through his mind. His whole body turned rigid and his eyes popped open. Reaching out, he firmly grabbed her hand to stop her movements. She looked up at him was surprised eyes.

"You need to leave," He forced out.

"Nathan…"

"Please," He said more quietly. He was pleading with her again and this time she listened.

Haley nodded her head and he released her hand. Quickly, she turned away from him and headed out the door. Her mind was still hazy and her heart was still beating ridiculously fast. As she descended the stairs, she replayed what had just transpired between them over and over again in her head. She was so deep in thought that she didn't even notice Lucas and Jake pass her.

"What do you think happened?" Jake asked as soon as he saw Haley. She looked like she was in a hurry and her face was flushed.

"Judging by how fast she's walking, I have to say I think our plan to get them to spend some quality time together failed."


	6. Chapter 6

I know I promised you that updates would be more frequent since I was out of school and I have yet to live up to that promise. The truth is, the last few weeks I haven't been in the greatest of moods. I have a history of really bad anxiety and depression. I haven't really had a problem with my anxiety or depression since my sophomore year high school, but I have a feeling that it's coming back. Lately, I just haven't had any energy and I don't have the motivation to do much of anything. I've tried to force myself to write but sometimes that just isn't enough. I've already made an appointment with my doctor and everything. I know I just got real personal and real serious with you guys, I just wanted to ask you all to be patient with me. I know I seem to ask this a lot of you guys and I do apologize.

Just two other quick notes before I get into this chapter. I know on the show that "Hales" was a nickname for Haley that originally came from Lucas and then as time went on, everyone started calling her that. For this story, things are going to be a little different. You'll see what I mean once you read this chapter. I hope you guys don't mind me changing that little detail from the show. Also, this chapter is heavy, but necessary, dialogue.

* * *

Haley leaned against the wooden fence along the Market Street Dock, her camera tight in her hands. The sun was low in the sky, glistening in the reflection of the water. For the last hour or so, she had been roaming around Tree Hill and snapping random pictures. She needed the fresh air and she needed to get out of the house before her mom drove her absolutely crazy.

Lydia James popped open a bottle of wine as soon as she returned home from work and within an hour, the bottle was almost completely empty. Usually, that meant a rough day at work. A drunk Lydia James meant a cranky Lydia James and that's the last thing that Haley wanted to deal with. By now, Haley was used to her mom turning to alcohol. It had become a bad habit after the passing of her father.

Like reading, her camera was another escape from reality for her.

A flock of birds were passing across the sunset and she lifted her camera to snap a few pictures. Feeling content that she had wasted enough time—her mom was probably passed out by now—she started walking down the dock and back towards the street that would lead her back to her house. For the most part, the Market Street Dock was empty. There were a few stragglers—an older couple sitting on a bench under the cluster of trees, a young kid riding his bike along the dock, and an older man walking his dog along the sidewalk.

Haley kept her head down as she scrolled through the new pictures on her memory card. She couldn't have walked more than a few feet when her body collided with something hard. A gasp left her lips as she stumbled backwards, her camera falling from hands. Luckily, the holster strap was securely around her neck. Before she could fully register what was happening, she felt a pair of hands grip her waist to steady her.

Looking up, she was met with a pair of unfamiliar hazel eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed together in concern, instead of annoyance. His brown hair was shaggy, falling into his eyes. He looked to be older, more mature. If she had to guess, he was in his early twenties. He wasn't that bad on the eyes, either.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his grip never loosening from her waist.

"Oh, yeah. I'm good," Haley stumbled out. "I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention. It's kind of a bad habit of mine."

He shook his head. "It was completely my fault. I was texting on my phone and didn't see you coming."

Haley shifted uncomfortably to pull herself out of his grip. A chill ran down her spine when his gaze darkened without warning. The hazel orbs trailed unabashedly over her body and she suddenly felt like she was naked, instead of wearing a black crewneck and jeans.

"I guess it was a little bit of both our faults then. Sorry, again." She smiled as warmly as she could manage before walking around him. She didn't make it very far before she heard him talk again.

"You know, I walk the streets of Tree Hill almost nightly, why haven't I seen you around before?"

"I just moved here a few weeks ago," Haley responded while turning around to face him. Nervously, she began to twirl the cap on the lens of her camera. The vibe that this guy was giving off wasn't a very good one and she was desperate to get away from him as soon as possible.

"That explains it," He said with a smile. He took a step closer to her and extended his hand. "I'm Damien West."

Haley tensed, her body visibly going frigid. She'd heard that name before, she was sure of it. She remembered Julian saying something about him in relation to Nathan, but she couldn't remember exactly what it was. Whatever it was, she knew it wasn't good.

"Haley," She answered as she hesitantly reached out to shake his hand. She didn't miss the way he purposely caressed his thumb against her skin before pulling away.

"You got a last name, Haley?" Damien asked her next, his lips curving into a small smirk.

Haley's only response was the narrowing of her eyes.

Damien shook his head, chuckling nervously. "I'm sorry. I must seem like a freak to you—asking you for your full name, in the middle of the night, when you just met me. I'm not the greatest conversationalist, especially when I'm talking to a girl as pretty as you."

Haley forced a smile, along with a short chuckle. "That's okay. Listen, it's getting late and I need to be getting home." She began to walk backwards, hoping that he would get the hint that their conversation, if it could be called one, was over.

"Maybe I'll see you around?" He called after her.

"Yeah, maybe," Haley yelled back, quickly turning her back and walking swiftly along the sidewalk. She stole one more glance at Damien to find that he was watching her walk away. Quickly looking away, she sped up her walking and tried to calm down her now rapidly beating heart.

~x~

"You ran into Damien West?" Brooke asked as she plopped her backpack down on one of the tables in the courtyard.

"Literally," Haley confirmed. She swung one of her legs over the bench so that she was straddling it and sat down at the table. Unzipping her backpack, she pulled out her lunch and grabbed her sandwich, taking a bite.

"Where at?" Peyton questioned, sitting down as well.

She quickly chewed her bite of food before swallowing. "Market Street Dock. I just remembered Julian saying something about him at your party, figured it might be worth mentioning that I ran into him."

"Damien's a bad guy, simple as that," Peyton stated, chewing a bite of her own food. "Stay away from him."

Haley sighed. That was exactly what she expected and hoped that her friends would say. "You know, that's exactly what you guys said about Nathan. Damien seemed nice when I talked to him. A little too touchy for my liking and a little too evasive, but still nice."

"Look, Tutor Girl, I can already tell that you're one of those people that likes to see the good in everyone," Brooke said, reaching over to place a hand on Haley's forearm. "But, Damien and Nathan are completely different people."

"She's right," Peyton piped up. "Nathan hasn't always had the reputation of being a bad guy. Damien, on the other hand, has always been known as the rebel child."

"What's so bad about him?" Haley asked coyly. She honestly couldn't think of one good thing that could be good about him. It only took five minutes with him for her to know that something wasn't right with him. But she wanted answers and she figured acting coy with her friends was the only way to do it.

"What's so good about him?" Peyton scoffed.

Brooke nodded, quirking her eyebrow. "He's a corrupted drug dealer. Well, I mean, all drug dealers are corrupted, but he's especially fucked up."

Haley leaned forward, her interest piqued. "That look on your face tells me that you definitely have some juicy stories to elaborate on that statement."

The eyebrow that Brooke had quirked raised even further. "You've only known me a few weeks yet you already know what my facial expressions mean?"

Haley laughed, shrugging her shoulders in an innocent way. "Picking up on people's mannerisms quickly is just one of my many talents."

"Good to know," Peyton mumbled.

Brooke just shook her head, smiling slightly. Her smile faded when she began to talk again. "Damien was a senior when we were all freshmen. Most people stayed away from him, apart from the typical druggies. A week before the seniors last day, he was kicked out of Tree Hill High because he brought a knife to school. Apparently, some guy that bought drugs from him gipped him on the money. He planned on stabbing the guy as revenge."

Haley's eyes widened at that, an accompanying shiver running down her spine. "How the hell is he not in jail?"

"Daddy's rich," Peyton mumbled bitterly. "They got him the best lawyers that money could buy and he walked with a warning."

"I'm guessing that's why he hasn't been caught as a drug dealer, too, huh?" Haley muttered, her bitter tone matching Peyton's.

Brooke nodded. "Basically. So, our warning about him—unlike our warning about Nathan—is one that you don't wanna disobey, trust me."

"You sure attract all the bad boys in this town," Peyton joked lightheartedly.

Haley cracked an uneasy smile. "Trust me, I don't want anything to do with Damien. I was just curious about him."

"Just like you're curious about Nathan?" Brooke pondered with a raised eyebrow, her fingers drumming against the table.

Haley shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her heart skipping a beat at the mention of Nathan. "Completely different situations."

"It better be," Brooke declared. "Now moving on to more important matters—Tree Hill High's haunted house next weekend…"

Haley tried to listen to Brooke's rant about how she was having a hard time coming up with a costume that was as equally as unique as it was sexy. At first, she was all ears, but then something across the courtyard caught her attention—Nathan. He was leaning against one of the white brick pillars, his arms crossed over his chest. As usual, he was wearing his leather jacket and jeans.

Nathan's smoldering gaze was fixated on her. His eyes were narrow, from the glare of the sun or out of concentration, Haley wasn't sure. His eyebrows were furrowed and his forehead was creased. The way he was looking at her…it brought goosebumps to her skin and chills down her spine. It was like he staring straight into her soul and it caused her stomach to knot.

Flashes of whatever had transpired between them at his apartment on Saturday entered her mind, causing her face to heat up and her heartbeat to quicken. They hadn't talked since then. She saw him in English, but he always left before she had a chance to talk to him, not that she had any idea of what she would say to him.

She couldn't look away from him and evidently, he wasn't backing down either.

After what felt like hours of them just staring at each other, he moved off of the pillar. With a nod of his head, he motioned for her to come over by him. Glancing over at Brooke and Peyton, Haley was relieved to see them immersed in some magazine Brooke must have pulled out of her backpack. She grabbed the brown paper bag that her lunch was in and crumpled it before standing up. Walking over to the garbage can that was closest to Nathan, she threw her lunch away and then, discreetly walked over to him.

"Uh, hey," Haley greeted him.

The first thing she noticed was how jumpy Nathan seemed. His hands were now stuffed in his pockets and he was rocking on the heels of his feet.

"Can you meet me at the River Court at three?" Nathan asked, his voice low.

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Yeah, sure. Is everything okay?"

Nathan nodded. "Yeah, everything's fine. I just-can you meet me?"

"Yeah, I'll be there."

With a quick nod and an uneasy smile, he quickly walked away from her.

Haley would be lying if she said she wasn't one hundred percent confused by their interaction. In the short amount of time that she'd known Nathan, she couldn't recall him ever seeming nervous. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she took a deep breath before making her way back to Brooke and Peyton.

"What as that all about?" Brooke interrogated with a mischievous glint in her eye.

Haley plopped down on the bench, her cheeks heating up at Brooke's smirk. _So much for being discreet._

"Honestly, I have no idea."

~x~

Nathan was sitting on the patch of grass surrounding the River Court, his body facing the Cape Fear River. His knees were propped up and his arms were loosely wrapped around his legs. The rush of the water and the howl of the wind was doing little to calm him down. His heart was pounding in his chest as he waited for Haley's arrival.

He wasn't sure what had come over him or why he felt this sudden need to talk to her. For the last few days, he had made a conscious effort of avoiding her as much as he could. It was childish, he knew, but he couldn't let himself get wrapped up in her again. So, he forced himself to keep his eyes off her during English class and to steer clear of places that he could possibly run into her, like the Tutor Center. Every time she crept her way into his mind, he forced himself to think about something else…anything else. In simpler terms, all of his spare time was spent on the basketball court, the only thing that usually helped him clear his mind.

The whole reason he chose to avoid her was simple—she absolutely terrified him. Every time he was around her, he felt as if the foundation of the walls around his heart he had spent the last few years perfecting became unstable. She made him want to open up—to tell her everything that he had spent most of his life bottling up. She made he want to abandon the person that he was. And most importantly, she made him want to forget all of his pain. No one had ever made him feel that way before and it scared the hell out of him.

It wasn't until he saw her standing in his apartment that he realized just how intense her effect on him was. When she touched him, he felt a warmth that he'd never felt before. The walls around his heart began to shake. There was a genuine concern in her eyes when she asked him what happened and especially when she said that maybe she could help him. He was so close to giving in, to just defying that stupid voice in his head…but that was something he _couldn't_ do. He just couldn't, not if he wanted to keep them both safe.

So, he made a vow that he would stay away from her. It was the best solution for the both of them.

However, that was shot to hell when he saw her sitting in the courtyard during lunch. Nathan wasn't sure what it was but once he saw her, he couldn't look away. Maybe it was the way the sun was shining down on her, the rays presenting her as the angel he knew she was. His heart was in his throat the entire time. It felt like he couldn't breathe, yet like he just taken a deep breath of fresh air at the same time. He had become mesmerized by her and before he knew it, he was waving her over and asking her to meet him.

The smart thing to do would have been to stand her up, something he had spent the whole rest of the day battling with himself over. A battle that he quickly lost, no matter what way you looked at it.

"Is this grass taken?"

Her voice carried through the wind and he ignored the way his heart skipped a beat. Swallowing hard, Nathan shook his head. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched her sit down. She crossed her legs and placed her hands in her lap, her gaze also fixated on the river in front of them.

"Is there a reason that you wanted me here?" Haley asked cautiously. She had spent the last few hours trying to come up with some explanation as to why Nathan wanted her at the River Court. Her first thought was that maybe he had found out about Damien. From what she gathered, they used to run in the same crowd, for all she knew, they still did.

"I thought maybe we could talk?" Nathan offered up after clearing his throat.

Haley looked at him directly for the first time since she'd arrived at the River Court. He had shed himself of his leather jacket, leaving him in just a dark blue t-shirt. His normal worry lines were still etched on his face, but his eyes looked lighter than she'd ever seen them before. It took her a moment to process what he said. He wanted to talk? The boy that she swore had a fear of conversations actually wanted to talk?

"Okay," Haley mumbled. "What do you wanna talk about?"

Nathan took in a breath of air as he turned to look at her. "Listen, I know that I've been really back and forth with you. I just…I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate you trying to help me, because I do. I just—"

"—don't like opening up to people," Haley finished for him.

"Basically," Nathan replied with a dry chuckle.

Haley changed positions so that she her body was facing him. She leaned back, resting her body weight on the palm of her hands. "Can I ask you something?"

Nathan nodded.

She chose her next words carefully. "Why are you so scared of opening up to someone?"

Nathan mulled over how to answer her question for several seconds. "Because opening up to someone means being vulnerable. And with the things that I've done and been through, I can't afford to be vulnerable."

"You should haven't to deal with the pain you're experiencing all by yourself."

 _'But, I deserve to'_ is what he wanted to say, but he bit it back. "Can I ask you something, now?"

"Go for it."

"Why do you want to help me?" He asked softly, his eyes never once leaving hers. In the sun, her brown eyes looked even more beautiful. Their soft and warm colors had tingles spreading all over his body.

Haley chewed on the inside of her cheek as she shrugged her shoulders. She wasn't exactly sure how to answer that question without coming off as creepy. "Because we've been through something similar. I know, at least to an extent, of what you're going through." _And because I can't seem to stay away from you._

Nathan swallowed thickly as he nodded his head. He found the same genuineness in her eyes that he always did. He clenched his jaw as he tried to contain the fringe of anger that surged through him. She didn't know anything about his pain and he highly doubted that she would ever be able to understand it. But he managed to keep himself in check. Haley didn't deserve to be at the receiving end of another one of his mood swings.

Taking a calming breath, he spoke in the softest voice he could manage. "There is a lot more to my past than the death of my parents. Things that make me—"

"Dangerous?" She cut him off and cringed when he nodded. She was getting real tired of hearing that. "You keep saying that but somehow, I don't believe it."

"Don't be stupid, Haley," He spat out a lot more harshly than he intended. He inwardly cringed.

Haley widened her eyes at that. She could sense his mood changing but she wasn't backing down. This was the most she'd ever gotten him to talk—which didn't say a lot considering it wasn't much—so she wasn't going to let him go that easily. There was no telling if or when she was going to get a chance like this again.

"I suppose that I should be offended by that, but I'm not. You're not going to scare me away, Nathan," She reminded him. Maybe it was naïve of her to claim that. For all she knew, he could be a serial killer and his past was full of skeletons, literally. But for some reason, she felt as if even that wouldn't make her abandon him.

Nathan didn't respond. Instead, he looked away from her and ran a hand through his hair in a frustrated manner. She was getting to him, again. Her soft words caressed his skin like a prayer. He found himself at a crossroad. He could fight against it, like he always did. Or, he could give in and give a little piece of himself away.

His choice was made for him when she began to speak again.

"You know, my dad died two days before my thirteenth birthday," Haley began quietly. She wasn't sure if he was actually listening but she continued on anyway. She figure that the best way to get Nathan to open up would be to open up herself. "I was at school when I got the news. I can still remember how nervous I felt when my teacher pulled me in the hallway during class. I thought for sure I was in trouble or something."

Nathan smiled a small smile when he heard her giggle softly.

"But then she told me that I needed to gather my things and go to the office, because my mom was waiting for me there. I saw the look of sorrow and sympathy in her eyes. My stomach dropped and I just knew something bad had happened. When I walked into the office, I saw that my mom was crying and the feeling of dread inside of me only grew. It was seconds later that she threw her arms around me and told me what happened. I can still feel the carpet burn on my knees from how hard I fell to the floor. I can still feel the tightness in my chest and the dread in my stomach. It was the worst day of my life."

Nathan watched her carefully as she told her story, his own heart hammering in his chest. The way her voice cracked and strained caused his knuckles to tighten. He could see the unshed tears in her eyes, mixing in with the unbearable pain. He felt the sudden need to comfort her. He itched to toss an arm around her shoulder, to pull her into his chest, to whisper soothing words to her…but he remained still. He didn't want to suffocate her like so many other people had done to him over the years.

"I'm so sorry," Nathan croaked out, his throat dry.

"Thanks," Haley said shakily as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "I know that I said I've learned to move on from his death, and I have, but I still carry it around with me. I have my days where he's all I can think about, especially when I think about how he won't get to see me graduate or get married. I have my days where I miss him so much that it feels like I can't breathe without him. But I found that it doesn't hurt like it used to. Like I've mentioned before, my dad was the type of person who believed in living life to the fullest. I know he would want me to do the same."

Nathan stared at her in awe. His mouth felt dry. He envied her strength and her outlook on life. If only things were that easy for him. "I wish I could look at things the way you do. But then again, you weren't the reason that your dad died."

He regretted those words as soon as they left his mouth. Haley was going to start asking questions and there was no way he could answer them. This is what Nathan meant when he said she made him want to let his walls down. He felt like he had no control over himself, over the things he would say or do.

"What do you mean by that?" Haley asked, her eyebrows furrowing together.

Nathan shook his head, the panic rising inside of him. "Nothing. Never mind."

Haley knew what that blank expression on his face and hard tone of his voice meant. Nathan was pulling away from her and if she didn't do something fast, she was going to lose him.

"Tell me about the best memory that you have of your parents," Haley rushed out.

Nathan was taken back by her question, his panic forgotten. "What?"

"What is the best memory that you have of your parents?" She asked again. When she saw him hesitate, she scooted closer to him, placing her hand on his arm. "Come on, I'm not asking you to tell me your deepest and darkest secret, just a happy memory."

All it took was the touch of her hand and he felt himself giving in.

"My thirteenth birthday," Nathan stated without even having to think much about it. "My dad took all of us—my mom, Lucas, and Jake—to a waterpark in Charlotte for a weekend."

"That sounds nice," Haley commented with a smile. She removed her hand from his arm and placed it back in her lap.

"The first night we were there, he surprised me court side seats to a Bobcats game. All of us were able to go. My dad owned a car dealership and I guess one of his customers worked for the organization. He was able to pull a few strings," Nathan explained further.

Haley sighed a silent breath of relief when she saw the hard expression melt from Nathan's face. In replace of it, was a small smile. His usually dull eyes were a little lighter, it brought goosebumps to her skin.

"It wasn't just the materialistic things of that weekend. It was the fact that we were all together that made it so special. My parents were busy people. My dad had the dealership and my mom worked for a nonprofit charity organization that included a lot of business trips. We tried to get together once a month. And when we were together, we made it count," Nathan concluded.

"You sound like you guys were a tightly knit family," Haley said softly. Her heart broke for the sadness and the loss that she saw clear in his eyes. She may have not known Nathan as well as she could, but she still knew that he didn't deserve any of this.

Nathan nodded sadly. "We were."

The tightness was still in his chest and the pain was still vibrating through his veins, the usual things that occurred whenever he thought or talked about his parents. But for the first time, it wasn't absolutely crippling. It threatened to consume him, like it usually did, but he found it a little easier to fight off. That realization practically took his breath away.

For some reason, he didn't want to stop talking.

"The scar on my chest…" Nathan breathed out, his voice shaky. "I got it from trying to save my mom."

Haley tensed at that. "How?

The tightness in his chest increased. He should have just kept his mouth shut. He had said too much and now he was encroaching on uncharted territory. The voice in his head, that he was able to suppress for most of the afternoon, was absolutely shrieking.

"Nathan," Haley said softly, scooting so that she was almost touching him. Her hand was back on his arm, her fingers rubbing softly against his skin. "It's okay."

He looked over at her, meeting her warm and enticing gaze. "Hales…"

Goosebumps rose high on her skin at that nickname and a shiver trailed down her spine. No one had ever called her that before and she found that she liked it, especially coming from him. She swallowed the lump in her throat before speaking again. "What is it?"

He took a deep breath, his chest constricting. He never talked about the night of the fire, not even to Lucas or Jake. "I-I wasn't home when the fire started. I was here, playing basketball with Jake and Lucas. By time I got home, our entire h-house was engulfed in f-flames. I ran inside before anyone could stop me."

Instinctively, Haley sat up and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. The smell of his cologne swarmed her and she ignored the warmth she felt from being so close to him. Her heart was in her stomach as she listened to his pain-filled words.

"My mom, she was, uh, screaming. To this day, I still don't know what room my dad was in. I found her in our living room, a p-pillar of wood on top of her," Nathan paused to catch his breath. "I tried my h-hardest to get it off of her, but I couldn't. I p-pushed on it so hard that I broke skin, that's how I got the scar. I didn't feel a shred of pain, I was just too focused on saving her. But by time the rescue team arrived, she was already gone."

Nathan blamed himself for not being able to save her, which was clearly written on his face. Haley felt her heartbreak for him. He looked so broken and she wished she could take his pain away. It tore her to shreds.

"That was not your fault," Haley muttered softly, her hand rubbing up and down his back. "There was no way that you have predicted that to happen. It was a house fire, there was no way you could have stopped it."

 _If only she knew._

Nathan didn't say anything. Instead, he just leaned into her touch. He should have been running away. He just broke his number rule about not letting anyone into his mind and his feelings. To his surprise, he didn't feel like running. He let the warmth that she brought him in. The voices, the conflicting feelings…they were all there, but he successfully ignored them. That was something that he would hate himself for later, but right now…he was going to be selfish.

Haley eventually heard his breathing even out. Slowly, she backed away from him so she could look at his face. He was looking down at the grass. The pained expression was still there, but the pain was slowly dissipating from his eyes. She found herself smiling to herself. She knew that she was nowhere near breaking down his walls…but at least she had gotten somewhere. He wasn't running away from her or distancing himself from her.

Her heart was beating so loud she was positive he could hear it.

"You called me 'Hales'," Haley whispered after what felt like hours of silence. She was repeating everything that he had said in her mind when she had remembered what he called her.

"Did I?" Nathan pondered.

She nodded, smiling. "You did."

"I'm sorry, it just kind of slipped out," Nathan murmured. Everything that he had just said over the last hour felt like an out of body experience. The words just flowed out of his mouth like someone had opened flood gates. Calling her "Hales" had slipped out like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"There's no need to apologize," She reassured. "I never been called that before, but I like it."

A small smile tugged on Nathan's lips. "Okay…Hales."


	7. Chapter 7

First things first, I cannot believe that this story already has over 100 reviews! I'm blown away and I can't tell you how much your reviews mean to me. Thank you so much for your ongoing support! I feel very strongly about this story and I'm glad that you all do as well. Also, thank you so much for your kind words. Depression/anxiety can be a roller coaster. Some days are good, some days are bad. But, I'm hanging in there.

Secondly, this chapter features the haunted house at Tree Hill High that I mentioned last chapter (Fun fact:October is my favorite month and Halloween is my favorite holiday so even though it's June, I had a lot of fun writing this). I was going to stick to Naley's costumes that they wore in season 3, but I changed my mind because I felt that those costumes didn't fit all that well with their characters in this story. Don't get me wrong, I loved Nathan as batman and Haley totally rocked Sandy, but I shifted things around a little. I went super into detail with Haley's costume but that's only because I found the perfect one online and I wanted you guys to be able to envision it as closely to the picture as you could, haha.

P.S. Please do not jump down my throat with the other couples that may or may not emerge in this chapter. I have a feeling that it's going to happen. I'm hoping it doesn't, but I just have a feeling.

* * *

"Hey, Brooke. Do you have a minute?"

Brooke looked up from the textbook she was reading. It was her free period and for the first time since the school year started, she didn't have any student council or cheerleading responsibilities that she needed to tend to. Her plan was to spend the whole hour catching up on the homework that she'd been neglecting for the past few days, but judging by the man that was currently standing in front of her that wasn't going to happen.

"Well, well, if it isn't the first boy to ever break my heart," Brooke teased, her eyes twinkling. She folded her arms over the book she was reading and smiled. "Jake Jagielski, how long has it been?"

"Too long," Jake mumbled hoarsely, his cheeks heating up at her words. He smiled nervously as he took a seat on the bench opposite of Brooke. "How are you?"

Brooke let out a content sigh, the smile never leaving her face. "I'm perfect. How's your life?'

"It's decent," Jake responded before clearing his throat. Nervously, he began to tap his fingers against the table. "Look, Brooke, I know we haven't had an actual conversation in years, but—"

"It's no sweat," Brooke cut him off. She could sense the pain in his voice and by the look on his face, she knew that he needed something. She didn't have the strength to turn him away… she never did. "We grew up and we grew apart. That's just life. I told you that I would always be there for you and you know I don't take promises lightly. So, what can I do for you?"

Jake smiled gratefully at her, the weight that was previously on his shoulders disappearing. "You're friends with Haley James, right?"

Brooke's interest was quickly piqued. She cocked an eyebrow, a small smirk on her face. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. Don't tell me that you're interested in her, too."

Jake furrowed his eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Brooke giggled as she shrugged her shoulders innocently. "I can't tell you how many guys have come up to me in the last few weeks asking me questions about her. She's like the shiny new toy that every little kid is trying to get their hands on."

"Oh," Jake said with a gulp. "Well, no, I'm not interested in Haley like that."

"Lucas?"

Jake shook his head. "Nathan."

Brooke feigned being shocked. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was agape. "Really?"

Jake sighed deeply. "Actually, he's never admitted anything, which isn't all that surprising, but I just know there's something there."

"What makes you say that?" Brooke interrogated. Mostly, she was curious, but she was also concerned about Haley. She didn't want to take the chance of setting something up for Haley that was just going to end badly.

"At your party, I saw them talking," Jake began. "Now, I've known Nathan my whole life and I've never seen him look a girl the way he was looking at Haley. For the first time in years, he genuinely looked alive. He actually smiled, which doesn't seem like much but when you know Nathan like I do, it means everything."

Brooke's eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as she focused in on what Jake was saying. "Have you asked him about it?"

Jake nodded. "His guard immediately went up and he denied everything, which was another red flag. But the thing that really got me was when Lucas and I tried to play matchmaker. We schemed to leave Haley in our apartment…alone, so that when Nathan came home it would just be the two of them. He was livid about it."

"Wouldn't that be considered a bad thing?"

"Maybe in most cases, but not this one. Luke has left a few girls in the apartment, as have I, and Nathan never cared. He would just act like they weren't there or lock himself in his room. With Haley, it was different. And the whole time he was yelling at us, he had that same damn look in his eyes," Jake explained.

"That's intense," Brooke muttered. She figured that there was something there, especially since Nathan hadn't sent Haley packing yet, she just wasn't aware it was that deep. "What do you need me to do?"

"Do you know if Haley is into Nathan?"

Brooke pushed a breath of air past her lips. "I think so, but I have no idea. Like Nathan, she hasn't really admitted anything. The only thing I've gotten out of her is that she's 'drawn to him', whatever that means."

Jake ran a hand through his hair and let out a frustrated breath of air. "I don't want to force them together or force them to be friends. If they're going to have some kind of relationship, I want it to be on their own accord. But, I just can't let this go. I have a good feeling about Haley and I'm scared Nathan is just going to bury everything he may feel, just like he always does."

"I completely agree. We just need to give them a little push," Brooke concluded. She sat silent for a few minutes while she thought over her options. She smiled when an idea popped in her mind. "Is Nathan going to the haunted house this weekend?"

"I'm not sure. He hasn't gone since freshmen year," Jake answered.

"Do you think you could get him to go?"

Jake thought about it for a few seconds before responding. "With the help of Lucas, I think I could manage."

Brooke smiled a sinister smile. "Perfect."

It was Jake's turn to raise an eyebrow. "I know that look. Brooke Davis, what do you have in mind?"

Brooke laced her fingers together and placed them on the table. She leaned towards Jake, resting her upper body on the table. "For the haunted house, they always place you in groups of twos. So, we'll just have to make sure that you guys get in line behind us. When it comes time to go inside, I'll call dibs on you and I'll tell Peyton to call dibs on Lucas. It'll force them to spend pretty much the entire night together."

"Why don't we all just go together? It would make things easier," Jake offered.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Haley and Nathan both know that are groups of friends don't really hang out with each other. I might just be overthinking this, but it might make them both suspicious, especially since we've both questioned them about the other," Brooke expounded.

"Good point," Jake beamed, his eyes shining with admiration. "When did you become the expert in matchmaking?"

Brooke shrugged her shoulders in an innocent manner. "A lot has changed since you last hung out me with, Jake."

"I can see that," Jake chuckled. "But wait, what about Julian?"

"Oh, he's not going. It's his turn to take his baby sister trick or treating," Brooke murmured, her voice taking on a more sullen tone.

"That sucks. I'm sorry," Jake crooned, ignoring the fringe of excitement that he felt at the idea of spending time with Brooke sans her boyfriend.

Brooke shook her head dismissively. "It's okay. The fact that he is such a family man is one of the many things that I love about him."

Jake just smiled at her as he stood up from the lunch table. "Thank-you, Brooke. I owe you." He hit the lunch table with the palm of his hand before turning to walk away.

"Jake, wait!" Brooke called out before chewing on her bottom lip. When he stopped walking and turned to face her again, she continued on. "I can trust Nathan with Haley, right? He's not going to hurt her? You know, because I've—"

"You can," Jake interrupted her. "I'm well aware of all the terrible things that are said about Nathan. He's not a bad guy, you can trust me on that. He's had a difficult life and he's quite jaded, but he's not dangerous or evil, despite what the rumors claim."

"I'll take your word for it," Brooke declared with a genuine smile. "It was nice talking to you again, Jake. Don't be a stranger."

Jake stuffed his hands in his pockets. A tidal wave of guilt seemed to wash over him. He took a calming breath before speaking again. "You know, I really am sorry for the way things ended between us."

Brooke tossed her head back as she laughed. "Jake, we were twelve! We didn't have a clue about what we were doing. We didn't know any better."

"Still. I miss hanging out with you," Jake admitted sheepishly.

"I miss it, too," Brooke confessed.

Jake nodded quickly, trying to fight the urge to smile. "I'll text you with more details about this weekend, after I convince Nathan to go."

"Sounds good."

~x~

"Are you going to the haunted house this weekend?" Jake asked as he plopped down next to Nathan on the couch.

Nathan tore his eyes away from the TV to look at Jake. His face was contorted into a look of complete disbelief. "Did you seriously just ask me that?"

It had been three years since Nathan attended Tree Hill High's annual haunted house. He wasn't someone that found enjoyment out of Halloween. To him, it was just another holiday that candy companies created so that they could make more money. It could also be argued that the reason he hated Halloween so much was because it was just another reminder of his parents.

He was miserable during all twelve months of the year, but October was when it hit him the worst.

Jake gulped at the sharp edge to Nathan's voice. "Uh…yes?"

Nathan shook his head. "Don't ask a question you already know the answer to."

"Oh, come on, Nathan. It could be fun," Lucas spoke up from his spot on one of the bar stools.

Nathan narrowed his eyes at the both of them. "You two never bothered me about the haunted house before, why are you now?"

Jake and Lucas exchanged a look. They could be upfront with Nathan, which would probably earn them a "hell no" for an answer. Or they could lie and run the risk of him bolting when he figured out what their plan was. It was a lose-lose situation no matter which way you looked at it.

"I heard Haley tell Brooke that she was going in English today," Jake disclosed slyly.

Instantly, Nathan tensed at the mention of her name. His heart leapt in his chest and he resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably. Things with Haley had been…complicated, on his end anyway. He was constantly at war with himself when it came to her. And at this point, he knew that no matter what the outcome of the war was, he was on the losing team.

Ever since Haley managed to make a dent in the steel walls he surrounded himself with, he had been a whirlwind of emotions. There was a part of Nathan that regretted it. He'd broken the one essential promise that he had made to himself— _don't let anyone close to you and don't let anyone in._ From the moment he opened his mouth and the words flowed out so effortlessly, he knew that he was absolutely screwed. But there was also a part of him that didn't regret it. Opening up to her made him feel…lighter, like he wasn't carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

They hadn't talked much since that afternoon in the River Court. There was an occasional "hi" in the hallway or during English class, but that was it. Nathan wasn't avoiding her, at least not consciously. Deep down, he knew that he should have cut all ties with her, that including their occasional small talk—and there still was a part of him that wanted to—but he couldn't. Things were different now, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise.

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" Nathan croaked out as he tore his eyes away from their scrutinizing gazes.

"I don't know, does it?" Lucas cajoled, his eyebrows raised. Jake had filled him in on the plan that he concocted with Brooke and he thought it was brilliant. It wasn't too pushy. It gave Nathan and Haley more time to spend with each other, which they hoped would finally warrant some progress. They couldn't keep meddling or things might end up blowing up in their faces.

Nathan swallowed thickly and chose to remain quiet.

Jake exhaled sharply. It looked like they were going to have to try a different approach. He had no intentions on giving up, so if he had to resort to begging on his hands and knees…then so be it.

"Nate, come on, it's our senior year!" Jake continued to persuade. "You're never going to be able to attend one of these things again. You don't want to look back ten years from now and regret it."

Nathan couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Spare me the sentimental bullshit. You know damn well that I don't care about any of that and I guarantee that I won't regret missing it."

Lucas huffed out a breath of air as he slid off the barstool. His patience with Nathan was waning thin and he figured that the only way to get him to go was to demand it. "You leave me no choice—you're going and that's final. You need to get out of this apartment and one night of fun isn't going to kill you."

Nathan's head snapped up. His expression went from shocked to anger in a matter of seconds. "You already drag me to all of these parties that I don't want to go to. Not to mention, all of your basketball games that I don't really want to be at. Don't you think that's enough?"

Lucas shook his head. "No, I don't. I get that going out is the last thing you want to do, but you need to start living your life. Here, I'll make you a deal. Come with us and stay for at least an hour. After that hour's up, if you still don't want to be there, you can leave and we won't stop you."

"You really aren't going to back down, are you?" Nathan scoffed, the annoyance he was feeling evident.

"Nope," Jake piped up.

Nathan tossed his head back so that it was resting against the back of the couch, a low groan tearing from his throat. "I don't have a costume."

A slow victory smile spread across Lucas' face. "Don't worry little brother, I got you covered."

"…I'm fucked."

~x~

A shiver ripped through Haley's body as she desperately tried to tug the hemline of her dress down. A thick layer of goosebumps colored her skin. Tree Hill was relatively warm during this time of the year, but it definitely wasn't warm enough for the outfit she was wearing.

Haley had allowed Brooke to pick out her Halloween costume for the haunted house, which she had quickly learned wasn't the best idea.

Brooke had decided on an angel costume for Haley. The dress was a pure white, the hemline reaching to the middle of her thighs. A diamond-beaded sweetheart neckline and thin diamond-beaded straps adorned the upper half of the dress. The material around her waist was cinched and also beaded. Her sleeves were made of a see-through material and were detached from the dress, beginning at her triceps and bellowing out at the elbows. Holding the sleeves up was a thin silver ribbon tied as a bow. A longer skirt made out of the same see-through material extended from the back of the dress and down the back of her heels. It left the front of the dress bare, exposing her legs. A pair of silver and white wings were attached to her back. A pair of silver stilettos that Brooke lent to her covered her feet. And, of course, a clear headband was buried in her blonde curls to hold up a small halo.

Haley had to admit that the costume was beautiful—it just showed a lot more skin than she was used to showing. However, it was extremely modest when compared to Brooke's cat woman costume or Peyton's rocker chick costume.

"Brooke, are you sure that this looks okay?" Haley asked for what felt like the hundredth time since they arrived back at the high school. She had spent the entire way there checking her reflection in the convex mirror of Brooke's car. Her fingers were constantly fiddling with the curls in her hair and her eyes were constantly reevaluating the lines of make-up on her face.

Brooke abruptly stopped walking and turned to face Haley. Her hazel eyes, which were peeking out from underneath her black eye-mask, narrowed. "You know, your need for constant reassurance is starting to make me feel like you don't like the costume I picked out for you."

"No, no, no," Haley blurted out quickly. "That's not the case at all. I'm just not used to wearing something like this."

Brooke's eyes softened at the insecure quiver in Haley's voice. Exhaling, she walked over to where Haley was standing and placed her hands on her shoulders, giving them a squeeze. "I promise you that you look amazing. I would never steer you wrong. Right P. Sawyer?"

"Right," Peyton confirmed with a firm nod. "You look hot. We wouldn't lie to you."

Haley smiled gratefully at the both of them while tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "Okay, I'll stop being annoying now."

Brooke rolled her eyes playfully. Giving Haley's shoulders one more squeeze, she released her and started walking towards the school again. Haley and Peyton followed closely behind her.

The line into the haunted house was already starting to wrap around the school. Excited chatter and squeals echoed through the courtyard. If Haley had to guess, the entire student body was there and every single one of them were dressed in costumes—everything from Michael Myers to cartoon characters.

"So, what exactly is this?" Haley inquired once they claimed a place in line. Most of the other schools she attended hosted after school events but none of them were ever as successful as this was.

"The Parent Teacher Council puts this together every year," Peyton began to explain. "It's a different theme every year and this year it's called 'Tortured Souls' or something like that. They do a really great job decorating and hiring actors every year. The five dollar charge at the door goes towards funding the music and art programs at the elementary schools. Afterwards, there's an after party in the field house that includes a costume contest."

"Wow," Haley gasped. "That's awesome."

"Yeah, it is," Brooke mumbled distractedly as she watched a group of girls dressed as witches quickly approach the entrance line. She had texted Jake as soon as they arrived and he said that they were on their way. Looking around, she saw no sight of them. Panic began to rise inside of her.

When the group of people inched even closer to the line, she glanced over at Haley and Peyton. They looked to be in deep conversation and she silently prayed that they wouldn't notice if she let a group of people cut in front of them. As soon as the group was close enough, she smiled warmly at them and quickly waved them in front of her. Brooke let out the breath of air she was holding when neither Peyton nor Haley seemed to notice.

The boys _seriously_ needed to hurry up.

~x~

Nathan didn't want to be there. He would have much rather spent his night laying on the couch, playing video games or drinking himself into an oblivion. Either one of those were much more appealing than being around people. The incessant chatter and the high pitched squeals from buzzed girls were quickly giving me a headache. Nathan couldn't believe that he had let Lucas and Jake drag him to this thing. He chalked his weakness up to temporary insanity.

This annual event was just another reminder of everything that he had lost. Nathan could already feel his chest tightening.

His parents were heavily involved with the PTC, even before he was in high school. With Dan being a Tree Hill High alumni and basketball prodigy, he always felt the need to give back to the school as much as he could. Deb quickly agreed to join to, claiming that when she was in high school, her favorite pastime was planning extracurricular events.

The haunted house was their favorite event. They both requested off work pretty much the entire month of October. Nathan could still remember them spending hours sifting through catalog after catalog for the perfect decorations. Occasionally, they would argue over what items to get. Nathan would always roll his eyes at those arguments because ninety percent of the time, Deb always got her way. By the middle of the month, their basement and garage were jam packed with boxes shipped from Oriental Trading, Halloween USA, and whatever other company Deb or Dan had found.

It used to annoy the hell out of him, but now, he would have given up anything to see them plan another haunted house.

"Don't try and look so happy," Lucas teased lightheartedly, nudging Nathan with his police night stick. He wasn't oblivious. He knew all about what this haunted house meant to his dad and Deb. It pierced his heart whenever he thought about how much they loved this time of year. But, he had to be strong for Nathan. He had to keep things as lighthearted as possible.

"Ha-ha," Nathan deadpanned while narrowing his eyes. "One hour. That's all I'm giving you."

"Until you see how much fun it is and want to stick around," Jake implied, whipping his stethoscope to hit Nathan on the top of his thigh.

Nathan's only response was a roll of his eyes. _Like that would ever happen._

They walked the rest of the way up to where the line was in silence. Nathan couldn't help but notice that Jake and Lucas seemed a little extra squirrely tonight. Every once in a while, they would whisper something to each other and if he wasn't mistaken, they had some kind of code body language going on. He could have called them out on it, but he figured whatever it was, wasn't worth the hassle.

Once they reached the back of the line, Nathan vaguely heard Jake talking to someone, but he was too busy digging his phone out of his pocket to check the time. Illuminating the screen, he grimaced when he saw the time. How could time possibly be moving so slowly? Only fifty seven minutes and thirty eight seconds before he could go back home.

Sliding his phone back in his pocket, he looked up to see who Jake was talking to…and he swore his heart actually stopped beating.

It was like something about of a movie or a cheesy romance novel. Time slowed down and everything around him faded away. Standing in front of him was easily the most beautiful thing he had ever seen—Haley dressed as an angel. She always looked beautiful, but there was something about the way she looked in that moment that made his throat close up and his knees weak.

She was glowing, the moonlight illuminating the pure white of her dress. Her brown eyes were wide and staring right back at him. He had to remind himself how to breathe. The same warmth that Nathan usually felt around her began to trickle through his body. Only this time, he didn't feel the urge to run away.

Haley shifted her weight from foot to foot underneath Nathan's gaze. The way he was looking at her set her ablaze. His eyes were wide and his jaw was clenched, his lips pressed together tightly. The butterflies in her stomach were the size of moths or maybe ever elephants.

She wasn't expecting to see him tonight. After all, school functions didn't really seem like his thing.

Haley allowed her eyes to trail over his body. He was dressed in a pair of black trousers and a black dress shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and the collar of the shirt was popped. Around his neck was a silver chain with a large bat pendant hanging off of it. His skin looked much paler than normal and the dark circles under his eyes were much more prominent. And if she wasn't mistaken, his lips were a deeper red than usual. Despite everything, he still looked sinfully good.

Haley cleared her throat and blinked hard a few times to clear the fog that had formed in her brain before she began to speak. "So, what are you supposed to be?"

Nathan was jolted out of his daze at the sound of her voice. He quickly took a deep breath in order to regain his composure. "Oh, uh, I'm a vampire," He answered while baring his teeth to show her his glued on fangs.

"I see it now."

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and released a short chuckle. "Luke and Jake tried to get me to wear this red cape, but I wasn't having it."

"It works well without it," Haley replied with a smile.

Nathan adverted his eyes away from her to look over her costume once again. "So, you're an angel?"

"Yep. It was all Brooke's idea," Haley said with a wave of her hand in Brooke's direction.

"Well, you look beautiful," He murmured, lifting his eyes to meet hers again. A sense of pride bloomed inside of him when he noticed a light blush forming on her cheeks. _God_ , he was messing with fire.

Why couldn't he just stay away?

"Come on, guys! The line is moving," Brooke announced before Haley had a chance to respond to Nathan's compliment.

Wordlessly, Haley turned around to follow the crowd of people into the haunted house. The closer they got to the entrance, the more apprehensive Haley felt. In all honesty, she hated haunted houses. In fact, she hated all things scary. The only reason she agreed to go was because it sounded like fun and she wanted to see what it was like. But with the eerie music she could hear playing from inside the school and the occasional screams from the people who were already inside, she was regretting her decision.

Haley gulped loudly when they reached the front of the line and the officiators began to explain the rules. Her heart was pounding in chest and a cold sweat had broken out against her skin. She tried to take a few calming breaths but even those weren't helping to quell her fears. The only thing she clearly heard one the officiators say was something about pairing off into groups of two.

"I call Jake!" Brooke called out while hooking her arm around his.

"Peyton, what do you say? You want to be my partner?" Lucas asked while tossing an arm over Peyton's shoulder.

"Well, I guess that leaves me and you," Nathan mumbled as he watched Lucas and Jake walk away with the other two girls. Since when did they talk to Brooke or Peyton? When He didn't hear a response from Haley, he looked over at her. She looked pale and she was practically devouring her bottom lip. She was rubbing her hands together and from where he was standing, it looked like she was trembling.

"Hales? Are you alright?"

A shiver ran down Haley's spine at Nathan's use of the nickname he had given her. Looking over at him, she saw that his eyebrows were furrowed and he was looking at her with a worried look in his eye.

"Y-yeah, I'm p-perfect," Haley stammered, her gaze shifting between the amount of people in front of them and the entrance to the haunted house.

Nathan followed her staggered gaze and smirked when he realized what was going on. Inching closer to her, the smirk never left his face. "You aren't scared, are you?"

"No," Haley denied, swallowing hard.

Nathan chuckled as he shook his head. Lucas and Peyton had just gone inside and they were now next. "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you," He promised.

Haley's head snapped up at his words and for the second time since she's met him, he genuinely smiled at her. At that action, she felt her fears melt away. She smiled a small smile back at him. Before she knew it, it was their turn. She reached into the small pocket of her dress to pull out her wallet, but Nathan beat her to it.

"You didn't have to do that," Haley breathed.

"I know."

When the doorman instructed that they could enter, Haley still hesitated. Sensing her apprehension, Nathan placed a hand on the small of her back and led her inside. Once again, with the simplest of actions, Nathan was able to calm the fear that was rushing through her veins. His effect on her caused her heart to putter loudly in her chest and this time, it wasn't underlined with fear.

They were met with a dark and smoke filled hallway. At the end of the hall, there was a strobe light that illuminated a sign made out of wood. The words "do not enter" were painted in dripping red paint. Hesitantly, Haley took a step forward. She felt Nathan beside her, his hand still on her back. They walked along the hall and turned once they reached the end. This hall mimicked the other one, except for the fact that the entire hall was lined with strobe lights.

Haley took a step forward when suddenly a high pitched siren went off and booming voice echoed through the hall, demanding that they leave. She jumped and instinctively clung on to Nathan. One of her arms was banded around his back, while her other hand clutched onto the material of his shirt.

Nathan held her to him, his breath hitching in his throat at their close proximity. He wasn't expecting her to launch herself in his arms like that. Swallowing hard, he looked down at her. Through the flashing lights, he could see that she looked absolutely terrified and it cinched his heart. He rubbed her back in a soothing manner.

"You okay?" He shouted over the eerie music.

Realizing the position they were in, Haley felt her cheeks heat up. At the moment, she was actually glad that they were in a dark hallway. Haley released her grip on him and backed away. "Just get me out here," She mumbled. They had only been in there for a few moments, but she had already had enough.

"Okay," He declared. Reaching for her hand, he laced their fingers together. A spark ran up his arm at the action and it surprised him how natural it felt. Her hand felt so small and warm encased in his. _You're just holding her hand because she's scared, that's it._

Pulling her along with him, he began to walk through the rest of the haunted house. He walked rather quickly, ignoring any of the actors or props that tried to approach them. Occasionally, Nathan could feel Haley squeezing hand, her nails digging into his skin. Surprisingly, he didn't mind it. The only thing on his mind was getting her out of there. After what felt like miles of walking, he saw the bright red "exit" sign and without a second glance around, he pulled her out of the attraction. When they were outside, he looked over at her to see that she still had her eyes squeezed shut.

"Haley," Nathan coaxed, dropping her hand. "We're outside. You can open your eyes now."

The sound of Nathan's gravelly voice had her eyes popping open. A wave of relief washed over her when she saw that they were, in fact, outside. A warmth spread through her when she realized that Nathan had been concerned about her. He did just as she asked him to and got her out of there. That feeling didn't last long, though. She suddenly felt extremely embarrassed for the way she had acted. Once again, she felt her cheeks begin to heat up.

"I'm sorry," Haley croaked out. "I didn't mean to drag you out of there."

The corner of Nathan's mouth twitched into the slightest smile. "Don't worry about it. I didn't really want to come tonight anyway."

"Why's that?" She found herself asking as they began to walk towards one of the empty benches in the courtyard. When they reached the bench, they both sat down. Haley angled her body so that she was facing him, while Nathan remained facing forward.

"It's not really my thing," Nathan responded, his arms crossing over his chest. Before he could stop himself, he began to elaborate. _What was this girl doing to him?_ "My parents actually used to be in charge of setting this up. It was always a huge deal to them."

"Oh," Haley said, her stomach dropping at the mention of his parents. "That would make this a little tough, huh?"

Nathan nodded wordlessly.

"I'm sorry," She empathized.

Nathan sighed as he sat up. Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and brought his hands together in front of him. "Can I ask you something?"

"You don't have to ask."

His mouth felt dry as he tried to formulate how to ask her what he wanted to. He could feel the sick feeling of being vulnerable start to bubble up in the pit of his stomach. Taking a deep breath, he turned his head to look at her. "Do you think I'll ever be able to move on? Do you think I'll ever be able to wake up and not feel the fresh pain of their loss?"

Haley's breath got caught in her throat at the pained expression on his face and the hoarse whisper of his voice. Without even thinking about it, she was his side and her hand was on his back. "It never truly goes away, we both know that. But, eventually, it does get easier. You just have to give it time, Nathan. You'll get through it, I truly believe that."

Nathan could see the truth shining in her eyes. She believed in _him_ and that caused a whole other slew of emotions to come over him. He felt his body tingling at her touch and the voice in his head was begging him to back away. Nathan didn't move. He didn't want to. His gaze flickered to her lips and he swallowed hard when her tongue snuck out to wet her lips.

He could kiss her. He shouldn't, but he could and God, did he want to. For once, he just wanted to be selfish and fuck everything else.

"How the hell did you two get out here so fast?" Peyton's voice boomed through the courtyard, causing them both to back away from each other.

Haley actually wanted to kill Peyton in that moment. She was almost positive that Nathan was about to kiss her. She saw the way his eyes darkened. She saw the way that he was staring at her lips. Although, Haley couldn't really be mad at Peyton. It was dark and they were on the other side of the courtyard. There was no way for her to know what was going.

"We walk fast," Nathan spoke up with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. He wasn't sure if he was more annoyed or relieved at Peyton's interruption. Annoyed because he had just decided that he was going to do something that he wanted to do for once. Relieved because…because well, kissing Haley would have only led to more trouble.

"I have to say, I'm kind of disappointed," Brooke grumbled. "Last year's was so much scarier."

"I have to agree," Jake pipped up.

"What did you think?" Lucas asked, directing his question towards Nathan and Haley.

"It was okay," Haley squeaked out.

"I don't know about you all, but I'm ready to get out of this suck-fest and get to the party," Brooke called out. "I'm sure that won't disappoint me, too."

Everyone agreed and started heading towards the field house. They didn't get very far before a voice called out from behind them.

"Where's the party?"

Nathan went frigid at the voice. He knew exactly who it was.

 _Damien West._

Lucas turned around and immediately regretted it. His fist clenched and his jaw locked. "You're like a leech, aren't you? You just never go away."

"Aw, it's nice to see you, too, Lucas," Damien hissed.

Haley slinked back behind Nathan, her eyes never leaving Nathan's face. He looked tense, tenser than she'd ever seen him before. His eyes were cold and hard. His jaw was locked and his fists were clenched. Vaguely, she could feel Peyton and Brooke behind her.

"What are you even doing here?" Jake interrogated. "You were expelled like three years ago. Attending events at a high school that you no longer attend makes you seem pathetic."

Damien chuckled, shaking his head. "I was just passing through. I saw you guys and thought I would come say 'hi'."

"Well you did, now leave," Lucas demanded, pointing towards the parking lot. "No one wants you here."

"Fine, fine. I can tell when I'm not wanted," Damien began to walk away before pausing and looking straight at Haley. "It was nice to see you again, Haley." He ended his sentence with a wink before continuing to walk away.

Something snapped inside of Nathan. He whipped around to face her. "What the hell does he mean by that?!"

Haley stumbled backwards, her heart stopping at the fierceness and anger that she saw in Nathan. His eyes with lit up with something that she couldn't quite decipher, but it terrified her. "N-nothing, nothing. I-I just ran into him on the dock about a week ago. T-that's all," She stammered out as her whole body trembled.

An anger that he couldn't ever remember feeling speared through him. He could feel himself losing control, but he couldn't stop. He gripped her shoulders hard. "Did he touch you?" Nathan gritted out.

Haley furrowed her eyebrows. "W-what?"

"Did he touch you?" He gritted out again.

Haley gulped. For the first time since she met him, she was actually scared of him. This was a Nathan she didn't recognize. "I-I don't know, I guess."

That was all Nathan needed to hear before the last shred of control that he had snapped. He released Haley, only to storm away from the group. He could hear Lucas and Jake calling out to him, but he ignored it. The speed of his walking only increased when he spotted Damien crossing the parking lot.

"West!" Nathan called out to him. When Damien paused and turned to face him, Nathan shoved him hard. "You stay the fuck away from Haley! You hear me? You stay the fuck away from her."

Damien stumbled back, but was able to regain his balance before he hit the ground. He smirked at Nathan, an eyebrow arched. "Why? Does this girl mean something to you?"

The sinister tone in Damien's voice caused Nathan's anger to falter. Squaring his shoulders, he let out a breath of air. "No."

Damien's smirk deepened as he stepped closer to Nathan. "You sure about that? She must mean something if you're causing this much of a stink over me talking to her."

"She means nothing," Nathan gritted out, that lie burning in the back of his throat. He couldn't let Damien know who she was. He would rather die. "She's innocent. She's a good person and she doesn't need to be getting mixed up with someone like you."

"Oh, come on, you know how I love the innocent ones," Damien crooned. "They always end up being the naughtiest and I find the most enjoyment out of corrupting them."

Another surge of anger ripped through Nathan. "Just stay away from her," He demanded before turning his back. He had to get out of there before he actually beat Damien to death.

Damien watched as Nathan walked away from him. His interest was definitely piqued over Haley but he figured that he wouldn't test his luck at the moment. "You know, I was thinking of a different way that you could pay back all that you owe me."

Nathan froze at that, but he didn't turn around. "I already told you that I don't owe you anything."

"Oh, but you see, you do. And I think I've come up with the perfect solution."

"And what would that be?"

"Come back to us," Damien declared. "Come back to us and I will forgive all of your debt. Daunte and Bear miss you. Hell, even Tim misses you."

Nathan turned around to look at him, a look of incredulity on his face. "Not a chance in hell."

"You know you want to," Damien pressed on further.

Nathan shook his head. "I'm not the same person that I was back then."

"That's where you're wrong," Damien hissed. "People don't change, Nate. You can pretend all you want, but we know the real you. You're just like us."

"I'm not," Nathan bit out.

"Really? Because as far as I can see, you're still the drunk every night low life that you were a few years ago. And don't act like you don't think about getting high again, because I know you do. How many classes are you failing, huh? How long is it going to be before you fuck Haley and then toss her to the side like you used to do to all those girls, huh?"

Nathan was back in his face within a blink of an eye. "I'm not coming back to you. You can try and goad me all you want, but it's not going to work."

"This is your only chance to diminish your debt without actually paying me a dime of money. Take it or leave it."

"Leave it."


	8. Chapter 8

I just want to reiterate that Naley's relationship in this story is a slow burn. They do seem to take a two steps forward and then ten steps back. It won't always be that way, necessarily. I have a whole timeline for this story written out and I can confidently say that there is a huge breakthrough for them coming. I hope none of the dialogue in this chapter comes off awkward or out of place. I can't tell you how many times I changed things around. It was a struggle, lol. Also, Haley's photography does play an important role in this story, trust me.

To the review who mentioned something Haley dying- There is a lot of symbolism in her being referred to as an "angel", but it's not in the way that you're thinking. She's not going to end up dying. I could never bring myself to kill Haley or Nathan in any of my stories, but especially this one. Poor Nathan has already suffered too much loss. I wouldn't do that to him, I promise.

To the review about what season I picture Naley as- your question was not weird at all. I totally get where you're coming from. Honestly, I've been picturing them as early S3 Naley, before Nathan cut his hair. Why, I couldn't really tell you. That's just the image I had. Like for Razor Sharp, I always pictured them as S7 Naley.

P.S. I don't know if you guys ever noticed, but my username is actually spelled wrong. I've had this account since I was, I think, 13? I remember being pissed that someone "stole" my idea, so I improvised. I never got around to changing it and I don't want to change it now, because I feel like I'll just confuse some people, haha. I've been meaning to say something but I kept forgetting. Most people refer to me by my username and I just wanted to let you guys know that you can call me Kathryn!

Jesus Christ, my author's notes are always so long. I clearly don't know when to shut up.

* * *

Nathan couldn't see straight. He couldn't think. Hell, he couldn't breathe. The only thing he could focus on was the burning anger that was shooting through his veins. His jaw was clenched so tightly that it was a miracle he hadn't cracked any of his teeth. His hands were balled into tight fists, his short nails digging harshly into his palms. He couldn't recall a time in his life where he was ever this angry.

Flashes of Damien's smug smile haunted him every time he closed his eyes.

For the most part, Nathan could somewhat keep his anger in check when it came to Damien. It was hard, and sometimes he slipped up, but he never flew off the handle. He knew that was exactly what Damien wanted. But as soon as he heard Haley's name come out of his mouth…he lost the last strand of self-control that he had. The last thing Nathan wanted was Damien anywhere near Haley.

Haley was too innocent. He couldn't let Damien take that innocence away. _He_ couldn't let himself take her innocence away. He would rather die.

But it wasn't just what Damien said about Haley that had his blood boiling, albeit that was the biggest reason. It was the fact that Damien wouldn't leave him alone. It seemed like every corner he turned, Damien was standing there, waiting for him. Nathan abandoned him and the lifestyle that came with him for a reason. Damien had already taken so much from him…what the hell else did he want? It was like he was stuck in quicksand and the harder fought, the quicker he sank.

As soon as Lucas pulled up to their apartment complex, Nathan was out of the car and making his way up the stairs. The car was starting to feel a little too claustrophobic for him. Once he was in the apartment, he frantically looked around. He wasn't sure what he was looking for—an escape, a bottle of whiskey, a sense of peace… _something_ that would stop his head from spinning.

"Nathan?" Jake called out carefully as he and Lucas stepped into the apartment. There was a look in Nathan's eyes that he'd never seen before and it was starting to freak him out.

Nathan turned around to look at them, his chest heaving and his eyes alight. Their worried expressions seemed to be the only thing that snapped him back to reality. Stumbling backwards, he caught himself against the counter, his body sinking down on to one of the bar stools. He was shaking, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Every single time I seem to finally find even a sliver of some solid footing in this fucked up life, Damien comes around," Nathan choked out. Images of being with Haley started to play on repeat in his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut. The words just seemed to flow out of him. "It's like he has this radar and it goes off every time I start to think 'maybe I can let all of this go and just live.' I-I can't escape him."

Lucas and Jake exchanged a concerned look. This was the first time Nathan had shown this kind of emotion over Damien. It was unnerving. The way Nathan had his fists clenched, his tense body language, the look in his eyes…it was familiar, yet very different at the same time.

"Nathan," Lucas breathed out sympathetically. "You can't let Damien get to you like this. He's trying to push your buttons. You know how he is. He gets off on making people angry and miserable."

Nathan shook his head. "You don't understand, Lucas. This is more than 'just trying to make me mad.' He's not going to stop until he gets what he wants. I know Damien. "

"What does he want?" Jake challenged.

"Nothing," Nathan bit out. He shouldn't have opened his damn mouth. The walls were closing in on him again. He had to get out of there before they forced the truth out of him. The truth that had been eating him alive ever since the night of the fire. He couldn't let them know.

They believed that Damien set the fire because Nathan decided that he didn't want to be a part of his "gang" anymore. That was partially true, but it wasn't the whole truth. That's why they never blamed him for his parents' death. That's why they always tried to console him when he went on his rampages. They didn't know the whole truth and he wanted to keep it that way.

"There has to be something, or else you wouldn't have said anything," Lucas said next, his gaze warily. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach. Lucas knew his brother well and he could that Nathan was encroaching on his breaking point.

"Forget it!" Nathan yelled back as yanked the fangs off of his teeth, they were starting to drive him crazy. The anger was bubbling up inside of him again, threatening to boil over at any given second.

Jake stepped closer to him, his own patience waning thin. "Nathan, goddamn it, we're trying to help you!"

Nathan stood up from the stool and approach Jake. "I don't need your help and I don't want it either!" _You wouldn't want to help me if you knew the truth._

"Don't be like that, Nate," Lucas murmured softly. "You don't always have to fight your battles alone."

"Yeah, well this one, I do," Nathan huffed out, his eyes cutting to Lucas. "Damien started that fire because of me. My parents and your dad are dead because of _me_."

Lucas let out a heavy sigh. "For the millionth time, you know that's not true."

Nathan shook his head dismissively. He could feel his chest tightening further, his throat closing up on him. "That's the thing, _it is_ true."

"You didn't make Damien start that fire!" Jake seethed. He didn't mean to sound so angry, but it just came bursting out of him. It killed him to see Nathan beating himself up over something that wasn't his fault. It needed to stop. "He started that fire on his own. He poured the gasoline and he lit the match. Not you!"

"But I drove him to it!" Nathan shouted, his vision becoming blurry with tears. He felt his knees begin to buckle, the pain rippling through his body. He could see his mom under the pillar, her tear stained face begging him to save her. He could see his dad being pulled out a stretcher, his skin burned beyond recognition. His skin felt hot like he was back in that house, the fire licking away at him. He couldn't breathe.

"Nathan?" Jake said more calmly, his anger quickly turning into concern. Nathan's eyes were glazed over and it looked like he was struggling to breathe. He rushed to Nathan's side, Lucas was quickly there with him. They grabbed on to him before he fell backwards and carried him over to the couch. "Come on, man, just breathe."

Nathan gripped the couch, his knuckles turning white as his fingers wrapped around the material. "He w-wanted money for the d-drugs," Nathan coughed out between gasps of air. He was starting to see black spots in his vision and his body felt numb. He was having a full on panic attack.

"Don't talk, Nate. Just focus on breathing," Lucas tried to soothe, his own heart beating wildly in his chest. Seeing Nathan have a panic attack wasn't anything he wasn't used to, but he had never seen it this bad before.

To Nathan, Lucas' voice was nothing but a muffled sound. It was like he didn't have control over his own body or the words that he was saying.

"H-he wanted me t-to drug her. He w-wanted me to hurt h-her," Nathan continued on. "I couldn't do it. I j-just couldn't. He got angry and d-demanded I pay him back all the m-money for the drugs. I c-couldn't so he started the f-fire."

Jake furrowed his eyebrows as he looked up from Nathan. What money? What girl? He was well aware that Nathan used to do drugs when he hung out with Damien. It was one of the things that had put a strain on their friendship during their freshmen year. But this was the first he had heard about money and about hurting a girl. He wanted to ask questions but he knew now wasn't the time.

"Get a cool rag," Lucas demanded, breaking Jake out of his thoughts. "His skin feels like it's on fire."

Jake nodded as he jumped up from the couch. Rushing into the bathroom, he hastily opened he cupboard drawers and grabbed a washcloth. He ran it under the cool water before heading back to the living room. Nathan was beginning to look pale and he was still gasping for air. He knew it was only a matter of time before Nathan passed out. It happened almost every time.

Nathan closed his eyes as he leaned back in the couch. Everything felt numb and his brain felt hazy. He would regret allowing himself to be vulnerable later. Right now, things were slowly becoming black.

~x~

"Haley, you alright?" Peyton asked while glancing at her from the passenger seat. Haley had been completely silent their whole way home from the school.

Haley jumped at the sound of Peyton's voice. She looked away from watching the passing houses to look at her. "Yeah, I'm okay." Her voice sounded a little hollow even to her own ears.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Brooke asked, briefly casting her eyes to look at Haley in the rear-view mirror before returning her eyes to the road.

A half smile graced her face. "I don't really think there's much to talk about."

That was a lie. Her mind was racing with a hundred different thoughts. She wasn't sure where to begin or how to translate her thoughts into words that made sense. All she knew was that she couldn't stop picturing what had happened between her and Nathan—the way he cared for her in the haunted house, the feel of his hand in hers, the almost kiss, the way he acted when Damien showed up…everything.

Subconsciously, she was still rubbing her arms where Nathan had grabbed her. He didn't hurt her and he wasn't rough, but it still…made her uneasy. It was the look in his eyes that scared her the most, though. It was more than just jealously, although she did detect a hint of that in his eyes. It was anger, fear, torment, regret, and sadness all rolled into one. It was then she realized that she was scared _of_ him, she was scared _for_ him.

The only thing she felt then was this sudden need and concern. When Nathan stormed away from her, it took everything in her to not run after him, to not try and comfort him. How fucked up was she? It was clear as day that he had issues and a past that made him "dangerous", but instead of running far away from him, she was running straight towards him.

Was she stupid? Sometimes. Was she falling for him? More than she felt safe to admit.

"Here's an idea," Brooke spoke up. "Why don't we have a sleep over tonight? My parents are out of town _again_ , so we have the whole house to ourselves."

Peyton smiled. "I'm down for that."

"Tutor Girl?"

"That sounds great, Brooke, but I was kind of looking forward to the comfort of my own bed tonight." Haley cringed when Brooke's face fell. "But, maybe you guys to stay the night at my house? I'm sure my mom won't mind."

Brooke's face brightened. "Fabulous! I just have to stop by my house and grab a change of clothes."

About a half hour later, Haley found herself leading Brooke and Peyton into her house. All of the lights were off, except for the soft glow of the TV reflecting from the living room. She closed to door behind them before calling out to her mom.

"Mom! I'm home! Brooke and Peyton are here, too!"

Haley frowned when all she received as a response was the humming from the TV. Sighing, she walked further into the house, her friends trailing closely behind her. She turned the corner and stopped in her tracks when she spotted her mom sprawled out on the couch. An empty bottle of wine was tipped over the coffee table and her signature wine glass was dangling from her hand. Thankfully, it was empty.

"Wow, I didn't know your mom was such a booze-hound," Brooke joked, eyeing the wine bottle.

"You have no idea," Haley snorted as she rolled her eyes. She was used to this, but that didn't mean she wasn't still annoyed by it. Reached over her sleeping mother, she grabbed the remote and turned the TV off, enveloping them in complete darkness.

"Come on, let's go up to my room," Haley mumbled. "I'm exhausted." _Emotionally and physically._

~x~

Karen's Café.

The white letters were exceptionally bright against the maroon overhang, absolutely mocking him. For the most part, Nathan avoided this place. It reminded him way too much of his parents. When they were alive, they practically lived here—when they weren't busy with their careers. He could still picture his mom sitting at the counter with a plate of chocolate chip pancakes and a cup of steaming hot coffee sitting in front of her. Or his dad standing behind the grill, cooking his bacon to the crisp that he liked, because apparently Karen always "overcooked" it.

Normally, he didn't want the memories or sense of familiarity. Today, however, he craved it.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he ascended the step leading up to the front door. Stepping inside, his eyes completed a brief sweeping of the establishment. It looked exactly how he remembered it—the pale yellow walls, the bookshelves, and the old couches. It was sparsely populated, which surprised him. Usually, Karen's Café was packed with people, especially on Sundays. Instead, there was an older couple sitting at booth in the back and a young woman typing away on her laptop in the opposite corner.

He didn't see Karen anywhere, but he assumed that she was in the back. Hesitantly, he walked towards the counter and slid into one of the stools. Specifically, the stool that his mom used to always sit in. It felt weird being back there. There was a tightness in his chest and the nostalgia was running rapidly through him. Surprisingly, he didn't feel the immense and crippling pain that he expected to feel.

"Nathan?" Karen's voice rang out.

Nathan looked to see her standing across from him, a pot of coffee in her hands and an apron around her waist. Her black hair was a mess of wild curls and it was shorter than he remembered. But other than that, she looked exactly the same. Her face was contorted in pure shock, her eyes wide.

"Hey, Karen," He said softly, a sheepish smile spreading across his face.

She seemed to snap out of her haze at that and quickly placed the coffee pot down. Walking around the counter, she reached him and pulled him in tight hug. The smell of coco beans and flour invaded his sense. Closing his eyes, he hugged her back.

After a few moments, Karen pulled back and despite her efforts, tears were shinning in her eyes. "How are you?" One of her hands remained on his shoulder as she gave it a squeeze.

"I'm good," Nathan answered easily. That was the default answer. Most of the people that asked him that question didn't really care.

Karen smiled gently at him, dropping her hand. By the dark circles under his eyes and his worn down skin, she knew he was lying. Call it mother's instinct. "Nathan, it's me. You don't have to lie."

Nathan sighed as her warm eyes drew him in. He glanced at the ground before looking back at her. "I'm trying."

"Is there anything I can do?"

Nathan shook his head. He didn't want to inconvenience her. "I don't think there is anything anyone could do. Thank you, though."

"I miss you around here, you know."

"I know and I'm sorry that I haven't been around. It's just too—"

"—hard?" Karen filled in for him.

Nathan nodded. "They loved this place and being back here, it almost feels as if they're still here. But I know as soon as I walk out that door, reality will set in twice as hard."

"I understand," Karen said solemnly. "I was thinking about you and Lucas the other day. You boys used to drive me crazy when you would come in here and start bouncing a basketball around. Or when you two would argue over what basketball teams were better or something like that. Sometimes you gets would get so loud, I'm surprised that guests did get up and leave," Karen giggled. "As much as you both drove me crazy, it made this place livelier."

Nathan smiled at the memory. "We were such menaces. I don't know how you ever put up with us."

Karen shrugged, her eyes twinkling. "I love you both, that's how I dealt with it."

Nathan smiled.

Clapping her hands together, she moved so that she was leaning against the counter. "Why don't I make you something to eat? It's on the house."

Nathan furrowed his eyebrows as he shook his head. "That's okay. I just came here to…" He trailed off. He wasn't exactly sure how to explain what he was there for.

"It's no problem, really," Karen insisted. "Just name it and I'll get it ready for you."

He could tell that Karen wasn't going to take no for an answer, so he conceded. "Chocolate chip pancakes and bacon...not too crispy."

~x~

Haley couldn't stop the yawn from leaving her lips, even if she tried. Between talking to Brooke and Peyton most of the night and her inability to shut her brain off, she had barely gotten any sleep. They stayed up until almost six in the morning and even though she got up at noon that was only six hours of sleep. She needed at least nine hours of sleep to function properly.

Which is exactly why she was walking her way to Karen's Café. She was craving a cup of coffee and so far, she hadn't found a place in Tree Hill that beat coffee from Karen's. It probably wasn't the best idea to drink coffee when it was already three in the afternoon, but she needed it. Yawning once more, she jogged up the step and walked in. The first thing she saw was Nathan sitting at the counter, his back to her. She froze and her heart jumped in her throat.

From where she was standing, he looked to be eating. His shoulders were hunched over, the material of his leather jacket straining as he moved. A dark red shirt was peeking out from underneath it, with his usual pair of dark wash jeans. Glancing around the rest of the café, she found that they were alone. She couldn't _not_ say "hi." Before Haley had time to debate with herself, her feet were carrying her over to him. They were friends. There was no reason she should've been scared to talk to him, even if they left things a little estranged the night before.

"I thought vampires couldn't come out during the day," Haley mumbled lamely as she slid into the stool next to him.

Nathan's stomach flipped when he heard Haley's voice, followed by her body brushing against his as she claimed the seat next to him. He swallowed the bite of food he was chewing before looking over at her. Nathan's initial reaction was to bolt, to make up some excuse about how he was just leaving, especially after what happened with Damien. But after one look into her eyes, he knew he wasn't going anywhere. Her hold on him was strong, and the scariest part of it all was that she had no idea.

His eyes quickly glanced over her. Her arms were resting on the counter and she was chewing on the inside of her cheek. Her blonde hair was still curly from the night before, but her face was clear of make-up. She was wearing a navy blue sweater, the v-neckline respectively low. She was pulling at the sleeves and her light wash jean clad leg was shaking up and down.

He swallowed hard. Would there ever be a time where he could look at her and not feel his heart hammer in his chest?

"And I thought guardian angels only appeared when someone was in trouble," Nathan replied, a smirk tugging on his lips.

Haley looked away from his gaze as a light blush painted her cheeks. "Well, I guess we both thought wrong."

Nathan's eyes then fell to her camera that was resting around her neck. "You really do carry your camera with you everywhere you go."

Without even realizing her, Haley's hand fell to grip her camera. She glanced down at it before meeting his gaze. "Did you think I was lying?"

Nathan chuckled, shaking his head. "No. You didn't have it with you last night, though."

"I thought about bringing it," Haley defended. "However, the last thing I wanted was pictures of zombies and ghosts on my memory cards."

"Fair enough. What exactly do you like taking pictures of?" Nathan found himself asking. He'd always been intrigued by her love for photography. It was something different. He didn't know many people who were obsessed with taking photos. It was just another one of her endearing attributes.

Haley shrugged as she began to twirl the lens cap. "Anything—people, animals, scenery. I think scenery might be my favorite, though. There's something so calming about finding things in nature that are so breathtakingly beautiful and capturing it in a picture."

"That's an interesting way to look at it," Nathan murmured.

"It sounds lame, I know," Haley said with a laugh. "Most people like taking pictures because they can freeze time and a capture a moment for a lifetime. And don't get me wrong, I love doing that, too. But, nature—"

"Hales, you're rambling again," Nathan cut her off with a teasing smile.

Her blush deepened as she looked down. "I'm sorry. Whenever I get excited or nervous, I tend to do that."

"Don't worry about it, it's cute." Those words left his mouth before he could stop himself. It amazed him how easy it was to lose himself around her. It was like he didn't have to think and everything came so naturally.

Haley was sure that she was as red as his shirt, at this point. He called her cute and her inner school girl was squealing. _Jesus Christ, get it together_. "Thanks," She murmured quietly.

Nathan cleared his throat when an awkward silence formed between the two of them. "You know, I know this place that you might like to photograph. It's kind of hidden and nobody really knows about it."

"Really?" Her interest was piqued at that.

"Do you want to see it?"

"Of course."

~x~

Two miles, tons of sand, and a half hour of small talk later, they arrived at a secluded part of the beach. It was the furthest point from civilization. The pure white sand ended at a plethora of rocks. The rocks were slanted upwards, leading to patch a perfectly green and perfectly cut grass. It was quiet and there was a sense of serenity in the air. It seemed like it was the one part of the beach that wasn't marred by litter or noise pollution.

Over the course of her life, Haley had seen a lot of landmarks and tourist spots, but nothing was ever as beautiful as this place was. She wasted no time lifting her camera up and snapping pictures.

"How did you find this place?" Haley marveled as she snapped away.

"My dad," Nathan answered. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he was standing off to the side, just watching Haley. It shook something inside of him to see the way her eyes light up as she took picture after picture. She looked genuinely at ease and happy.

He suddenly felt an immense amount of guilt. There was no way he could provide her with that kind of happiness, or happiness at all. Although, he wasn't able to dwell on it long because Haley continued to question him.

"So, did your dad just like to explore the secretive parts of the beach?"

Nathan laughed at the incredulous manner in her voice. "Not exactly. My parents used to own a beach house. We spent a lot of summer nights there and almost every morning, my dad would go for a run. He got curious one day and decided to run a little farther down the beach. That's when he found this place."

Haley lowered her camera and turned to look at him. "Did you guys come here often?"

Nathan nodded as he started to graze his foot over the top of the grass. "We came here a lot when I was younger. It was a 'break from the real world', or at least that's what he used to call it."

"I could see that. It's really beautiful out here. And quiet," Haley cooed, her eyes doing another sweep around the beach.

"I still come out here every once in a while," Nathan admitted. "Most of the time, my sanctuary is the River Court. But, sometimes, when I don't want to be found, I come here."

"Lucas doesn't know about this place? Or Jake?"

Nathan shook his head. "Just my dad, me, and…you, now."

Haley's heart beat sped up at that. A warmth spread through her body and she fought the urge to smile. Being there and knowing that he never showed anyone else this place…it felt like she got to see a side to him that he didn't show many people. That meant everything.

She watched him closely as he stared out at the water and fell silent. His arms were now crossed over his chest. There was a certain calmness to him that she had yet to see with him. The worry lines that were usually etched into his features were smooth. His eyes weren't cold or distant. They held a gentle warmth, one that she could easily see herself getting lost in. Haley decided to seize the moment. Lifting up her camera, she looked through the view finder and focused it on Nathan. A "click" carried through the wind when she snapped the picture.

Nathan's head jolted in her direction at the sound, his eyebrows raised. "Did you just take a picture of me?"

Quickly, Haley dropped her camera. "No, why would you think that?" Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you were just pointing the camera at me and then I heard it go off."

Haley shrugged innocently. "You were imagining things."

Nathan narrowed his eyes as he took a few steps closer to her. He could have sworn that out of the corner of his eye, he watched her focus her camera on him and then proceed to press down on the shutter release. If he were being honest, he didn't mind all that much. But the way she was squirming and trying to act all innocent was egging him on.

"I don't think I was," He continued to tease. He smirked when she took a step away from him. Her eyes were twinkling with a playful mischief, it caused his heart to skip a beat.

"Okay, completely hypothetical question here, but what if I did take a picture of you?" Haley taunted.

He was losing himself, or at least, that's what the voice in his head was telling him. It had been…years since he had genuinely felt playful or lighthearted. Being in this peaceful place with Haley, it was easy to forget the pain. It was easy to forget that there was a world outside of that little alcove, a world that was damaged and full of reasons he should've been running away.

He didn't want to fight that.

Nathan took a few more steps closer to her. "Then, I guess I'll just have to hypothetically get you back."

Haley's eyes widened when he took off running towards her. Quickly, she gathered her bearings and darted away from him. The wind whipped her hair around and she couldn't help but laugh at how childish this all was. She liked it, though. It was a different side of Nathan. A lighter and much more…alive side to him, a side that she never thought she would see.

An embarrassing squeal poured out of her lips when Nathan's arms wrapped around her waist. He pulled her tight against his chest and she laughed loudly when he lifted her off the ground. However, that glee didn't last long. She felt a slight panic when Nathan lost his footing and she could feel them falling forward.

"Nathan! My camera!"

Nathan tightened his grip on her waist and held her closer to his chest as they fell. He extended his free hand to brace his fall so he wouldn't crush her or the very expensive camera that was around her neck. Her grip on him was tight, her fingers wrapping around the leather material of his jacket. When they hit the ground, he smiled as she giggled up at him. Her hair fanned out around her and that playful glint was still in her eye. Her laugh was contagious and soon, he found himself laughing. He ignored the fringe of excitement he felt at their close proximity.

Haley's heart was slamming against her chest and the sound of his laugh brought goosebumps to her skin. It was then she realized just how tiny she was in comparison to him. His body was covering her completely and then some. She felt a warmth spread through her as she met his gaze. His blue eyes were darkening by the second and she could have sworn she heard him take a sharp intake of breath.

"Well, I guess, hypothetically, you got me back."

Nathan smiled shakily as he let out a short chuckle. He suddenly felt completely out of breath. "Yeah, I guess I did." Realizing that he was laying directly on top of her, he rolled off of her and laid back in the grass. The voice in his head was threatening to take control of him, but he pushed it back. That was the last thing he wanted to deal with right now, not when he felt this good.

Haley instantly felt the loss of his body as she sat up. The sun was low in the sky and the air was starting to get cooler. She shivered as another gust of wind blew by her. As much as she didn't want to leave, she knew that they had to. She still had homework that she needed to do and she was starting to get hungry.

"We should probably get going," Nathan spoke up and she inwardly laughed. It was like he was reading her damn mind.

"Yeah," Haley agreed as she watched him stand up from the ground. Once he was standing, he brushed his hands on his jeans before extending a hand to her. She graciously grabbed it and hoisted herself up.

"I didn't hurt you when I tackled you, did I?" Nathan asked a moment later. He couldn't recall a moment where Haley looked like she was in pain, but he had to make sure. She was a lot lighter and tinier than he anticipated.

"Not at all," Haley murmured. They began to walk back the way they came. By now, the beach was completely empty. "I was a little worried about my camera there for a second, but you recovered nicely."

"I figured you'd probably kill me if something happened to it," Nathan said with a shrug.

"You thought right."

They walked in a comfortable silence for several moments. Haley chewed on the inside of her cheek as she debated on if she should strike up more conversation or not. Things had been good between them today. So far, Nathan wasn't pulling away from her like he normally did. He was laughing and smiling. She wondered if they would ever get another moment like this, or just how much longer this moment was going to last. She liked this side of Nathan and she wanted to keep him around as much as she could. That wasn't to say that she didn't like the other sides of Nathan, because she did. But she had a sneaking suspicion that the side of Nathan she saw today was who he was…before everything fell apart for him. She feared that pushing him or asking him questions would cause him to retreat back into his shell.

So, she remained silent.

It wasn't long before they reached the dock. The sun was setting over the water, giving everything a pinkish glow. It was a breathtaking sight. The sunsets were another thing that she loved about Tree Hill. Sunsets in California just weren't the same. Most of the time the lights on the boardwalk drowned them out. Haley paused when they reached the center of the dock.

"Hold on, I need to get a picture of this. Sunsets are another one of my weaknesses," Haley confessed with a slight blush.

Nathan nodded as he leaned against the opposite side of the dock. The silence was allowing his mind to wander and that was never a good thing. Today had been different. Today, he had been different. Without a doubt, he knew that the main cause of that was Haley. The more time he spent with her, the deeper the hole he was digging himself became. It absolutely terrified him, yet completely thrilled him at the same time.

Seeing her laugh, hearing himself laugh…it was like a drug. Today, for the first time, he let himself feel completely without panicking. He let the warmth that she brought him seep through. That was a mistake, a sweet and torturous mistake, one that he wouldn't mind making over and over again, despite the roaring consequences.

His heart clenched in his chest when the wind brushed through her hair and he was hit with wave of vanilla. Everything happened in slow motion after that. Her body twisted around so that she was facing him again, a content smile on her face. Her lips were moving but he couldn't make out what she was saying. All he could do was stare at her, the rays of the setting sun creating a halo around her. Every single thing about her was perfect and he suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe…in the most pleasurable of ways.

When she removed her camera from around her neck and rested it on the thick ledge of the dock, he seized his opportunity. It was like his body had a mind of its own and within a blink of an eye, he was standing directly in front of her. His heart was slamming against his chest and it only increased when Haley looked up at him, her eyes dancing with wonderment.

Nathan's hands were planted on either side of her body, gripping tightly to the wooden structure of the dock. She was completely boxed in. His face was only inches from her, his eyes boring straight into hers. They had been in this position before. The last time he had her in this position he told her to stay away from him. Unlike the last time, Haley didn't avoid his eyes. She held his gaze, her heart pounding wildly, her breathing quick, and her stomach twisting every which way. She waited for him to speak, to tell her to stay away, to remind her yet again just how dangerous he was…but instead he remained silent.

The wind rushing around them only seemed to get louder as the seconds ticked by.

To her surprise, he inched towards her until his forehead was pressed against hers and his hands dropped to rest on her waist. Her eyes fell closed as his breath danced across her lips, goosebumps raising high on her skin. He was invading every one of her senses—the smell of his cologne, the feel of his hands resting on her waist, the sound of his shallow breathing, and the taste of his minty breath on her lips. It all seemed so much more heightened. She felt dizzy, completely intoxicated by the man standing in front of her. She felt on edge, nervous, terrified….safe.

Nathan knew he wasn't strong enough anymore and he hated himself for it. He couldn't find the strength to stay aware from her, no matter how loud the voice in his head was screaming at him to walk away. Weak was never something he liked being, in fact, he despised being weak. It wasn't him. But, Haley made him weak…in the most intoxicating way possible. She made him want to throw caution to the wind, to ignore his screaming conscious. That terrified him. He had no problem keeping his distance from people. He never really held any desire to get to know someone. He was fine with being lonely. No friends meant no feelings and no feelings meant no problems. But the girl standing in front of him changed all of that.

His grip on her waist tightened as he pulled her closer to him, their lower halves molding together. He smirked slightly when he heard her take in a sharp breath. "I should walk away," he began lowly. "A guy like me is dangerous for a girl like you."

 _Dangerous_. There was that word again. She was so damn tired of hearing it. She didn't believe Nathan was dangerous. One look in his eyes, one simple touch of his hand and she just knew he would never intentionally hurt her, despite his warnings. Bringing her hands up, she knotted them in his hair, tugging slightly. A small smile appeared on her face when a low groan emitted from his lips.

"Then why aren't you walking away?"

"Because I can't," Nathan admitted breathlessly. "Because no matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking about you. I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore."

His lips were practically on hers, brushing against them with each spoken word. Her grip on his hair tightened, her whole entire body buzzing with desire, "Kiss me," She breathed out, not one bit ashamed at the begging tone in her voice. "Just kiss me."

Something snapped inside of Nathan at her words. That stupid voice in the back of his head was suddenly silent. He wasted no time pulling her flush against his body, covering her mouth with his. His eyes immediately snapped shut. A moan could be heard from the both of them as their lips molded together. Nathan swore a fire had started inside of him from the moment their lips touched. Her lips were so soft and tasted of something so fruity, something that was just so…Haley. It was everything that he had imagined and more. Kissing Haley was like the sweetest exposure of nicotine known to man. Once he got a single taste of her, he couldn't seem to get enough. Never in his life had felt so good just from a simple kiss.

Haley's knees were buckling and she was sure that if Nathan's arms weren't so securely wrapped around her, she would have fallen to the wooden floor. His lips were like magic and she couldn't help but moan when his tongue snuck into her mouth. God, he knew what he was doing. She hadn't kissed many boys in her life and especially not like this, but she was certain that it wasn't supposed to feel this good. A fire was flowing through her veins, covering every inch of her body. Her hands had fallen from his hair and were now clutching desperately on to the collar of his leather jacket, almost like she was afraid that in any moment, he would disappear.

Just as soon as the kiss started, it was over. Haley leaned back against the railing, her hands falling limp beside her. Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears and for the life of her, she couldn't catch her breath. Her eyes remained closed as she tried to regain control of her own body. Kissing Nathan had knocked the wind right out of her. It was everything she imagined it would be- earth shattering and knee weakening. Once she had gained her composure enough, she slowly opened her eyes, fully expecting Nathan to still be standing in front of her.

But he was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

I'm really excited for you guys to read this chapter. I will admit that I do throw a lot of things at you at once. This chapter is one of the many pinnacles of this story. Although this is a Naley story, Haley's and Nathan's individual lives are just as important to this story as their relationship is. And their individual lives definitely have some connections to their relationship. You get a little more insight to both of their lives in this chapter, especially Haley. I know I've been a little vague on Haley's past and I've focused a lot more on Nathan's past than hers, and I've done that on purpose. You'll see why that is later down the line. There is a method to my madness, I promise.

There is also a huge breakthrough for their relationship in this chapter, which If I'm being honest, it's one of my favorite things I've ever written. For the first time in my writing career, I was able to write something that played out exactly how I pictured it in my head. I hope you all enjoy it! I'm pretty excited to see your guys' reactions to the ending of this chapter, too. I'm not sure its anything you guys saw coming and I've been planning this from the very beginning. Okay, I'll stop tooting my own horn now.

P.S. Remember when I said I was going to push the envelope on some things in this story? There are hints of that in this chapter. If mentions of rape or drugs are triggers for you in anyway, you might wanna skip over some parts.

P.S.S. Sorry about the length. It was again one of those times where I started writing and just couldn't stop. Everything was too important to delete anything.

* * *

"Haley! Have you seen my wallet?"

Haley looked up from her bowl of cereal to see Lydia blazing through the kitchen. Her dirty blonde hair was messily falling out of her usually sleek ponytail. Her usual prim and proper grey suit was wrinkled, the pale peach blouse half peeking out of her belt. Haley couldn't help but notice how pale her mother's skin looked and the bags under her eyes were practically covering the entire length of her cheeks.

She looked level ten hung over. Haley couldn't hide her disappointment even if she tried.

Swallowing her bite of cereal, Haley shook her head. "No, sorry."

"Well, get off your ass and help me look for it! I'm already twenty minutes late to work and I can't get into the building without my ID card, which is in my wallet!" Lydia snipped at her.

Haley sighed heavily as she pushed her chair out from the kitchen table. Her heart clenched as her mother's tone was yet another piece of evidence that confirmed her suspicions over what Lydia was doing the previous night. Lydia never snapped at her, not even when they caught themselves in the middle of a mother-daughter dispute. She was always cool and collected...unless she was hungover. But for the past few years, it seemed as if Lydia James was _always_ hungover.

Gritting her teeth, Haley started to look around the house for her mom's wallet. She tried her best to ignore the way her mom was angrily muttering under her breath. It was her own damn fault that she was so late for work.

Making her way into the living room, Haley's eyes to fell to the empty bottle of wine tipped over on the coffee table. Even though Haley already expected that her mom was drinking again, seeing that bottle of wine had her stomach churning painfully. Next to it was the brown and white wallet Lydia was looking for. Not wasting another second, she stomped towards the coffee table and picked up the empty glass bottle. Holding the neck of the bottle with just two of her fingers, she dangled in in front of her.

"Tie one on again last night, mom?" Haley accused. She wasn't even trying to mask the pain and anger in her voice.

"I had a couple of glasses, that's all," Lydia mumbled as she continued to search around the kitchen for her wallet, looking through various drawers and sifting through discarded mail.

Haley's eyebrows rose as she felt a surge of anger spread through her body. It amazed her how Lydia didn't even flinch at her accusation. "A couple of glasses? Mom, the bottle is empty!"

Lydia paused at the choleric tone in Haley's voice. Whipping around, she placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes. "It was half full when I started drinking it!"

Haley rolled her eyes at her blatant lie. "I went in the cellar last night and all of the bottles were unopened. Wanna try again?"

"It's not that big of a deal," Lydia mumbled.

"Not that big of a deal?" Haley shouted incredulously. "Finishing three bottles of wine a week seems like a pretty big deal to me."

Lydia tossed her hands in the air, a groan of aggravation ricocheting through the kitchen. "Can we talk this later, please? I have to get to work. If I'm any later, they'll fire me. I need to find my damn wallet."

Haley exhaled sharply as she hastily placed the bottle back down on the coffee table. Snatching the wallet off the table, she held it up. "It's right here."

A relieved look came across Lydia's face as she crossed the kitchen and grabbed her wallet off Haley's hand. She stuffed it in her purse before brushing past Haley and walking towards the front door. "I won't be home for dinner. There's some left overs in the fridge."

Haley watched in melancholy as her mom scurried out of the house. When she heard the front door slam shut, she released a shaky breath of air and collapsed on to the couch. Running her hands through her hair, she laid her head back and closed her eyes. Her chest felt heavy and she felt like screaming. When it came to her mother, she was tired…mentally and physically. For the last few years, her life had been a constant cycle of coddling her mother, then yelling at her, then trying to talk to her in a more rational way only to be back to coddling her. She wasn't sure she could take much more.

Then on top of that, Nathan…no, she wasn't going to think about him. Not right now.

Opening her eyes, Haley glanced around her living room. She caught sight of an old piece of paper folded on the ground. Furrowing her eyebrows, she bent down to grab it. Once she had it in her hands, she smoothed it out and her face softened. It was a love letter—a love letter that her dad had written her mom, to be more specific. The blue inked was smeared in some places, from Lydia's tears, Haley assumed. Tears of Haley's own started to well up in her eyes as she scanned over her father's beautiful words.

 _This explains last night's wine binge_ , Haley thought to herself. It has been at least a year since Haley had last seen one of these letters. She felt an ache in her chest as she wiped away her tears. Folding the letter back up, she placed it down on the coffee table as a reminder to definitely talk to her mother once she got home from work.

~x~

Haley's eyes scanned the hallway for what felt like the millionth time since she arrived at school a whole three minutes and twenty seconds ago. She knew what she was doing and she was powerless to stop it. She was looking for even the tiniest glimpse of Nathan Scott, both consciously and subconsciously.

Between constantly thinking about her mom's drinking problem and now, the love letter from her dad that she stumbled upon and her mind going haywire over Nathan, Haley was convinced that she was going insane. Only one of those things seemed to overpower the other by a landslide, though. She tried to distract herself, to force herself not to think about his haunting blue eyes or the feel of his hands gripping her waist. Selfishly, she hoped that the events of the morning with her mom would be just the distraction she needed. Unfortunately for Haley, that wasn't the case.

Four days had passed since Nathan kissed her. Four long and confusing days, filled with so many tumultuous feelings that she was surprised she didn't just combust. It's also been four days since they had last spoken to each other. Occasionally, she passed him in the halls but he kept his head down, purposely avoiding her gaze, she was sure. He would sit at his normal table during lunch in the courtyard with Lucas and Jake, but even then his eyes seemed fixated on the stone table.

His jaw remained tense and there was a look in his eyes that she couldn't quite pinpoint. He seemed exactly like the Nathan she had first laid eyes on—cold, distant, and angry at the world.

Occasionally, she felt his eyes burning holes into her skin. Every hair on her body would stand straight up and a delicious shiver would run down her spine. It was those lingering stares that gave her hope—hope that maybe he didn't regret kissing her. Her moments of reprieve didn't last long, though. When she worked up enough courage to meet his stare, he looked away so quickly that she physically felt a piece of her heart break.

Time and time again, she tried to get herself to confront him—to demand him to tell her why he kissed her and then abandoned her. Did he regret it? Was it just a moment of weakness? Did it mean anything to him, like it meant something to her? Was he just leading her on? But as soon as she found that courage, it was gone. She wanted answers, but she was also terrified of those answers.

Never in her life had she ever felt this way about someone. Sure, she had her occasional crushes, but that's all they were— meaningless school girl crushes. What she felt about Nathan…she wasn't sure how to define it. The only thing she was sure of was that if Nathan said that he regretted kissing her or that their kiss meant nothing to him, it would tear her apart.

Pushing all of that aside, she found herself angry, confused, hurt…and wanting so desperately to kiss him again. Sometimes she swore she could still feel his lips brushing against hers and that she could still taste him on the tip of her tongue. Every time she replayed the kiss in her head, her stomach knotted and her skin broke out in goosebumps. She—

"—Tutor Girl, are you listening to me? Hello? Haley, are you in there?"

Haley jumped at the sound of Brooke's voice and blinked hard to eliminate the fog that crept its way inside of her. Once her vision cleared, she was met with the concerned faces of Brooke, Julian, and Peyton.

"Oh, um, sorry. I just zoned out there for a moment," Haley mumbled after clearing her throat. "What were you saying?"

"Are you okay?" Peyton asked as she leaned back against her locker. "That's like the third time you've zoned out us on today and school hasn't even officially started yet."

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," Haley insisted, avoiding their gazes. "My mom and I just got in a little fight this morning, that's all." _Well, technically you aren't lying._ She could have easily opened up to them about Nathan, she knew that. But there was something about their relationship that she felt she needed to keep on the down low, at least for now.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Brooke asked next.

"There's not much to tell," Haley said with a shrug. "She got drunk again last night and she was hungover this morning. And when she's hungover, she gets cranky, which occasionally leads to little arguments between us."

Peyton furrowed her eyebrows, her forehead creased in concern. "She sure drinks a lot."

"She's been that way since my dad passed," Haley explained sullenly. That's all she really wanted to say on the matter. All things considered, she was a relatively open person. But even open books still have their mysteries.

"Well, you know that if you ever wanna talk about it, we're here for you," Brooke said with a genuine smile.

"That includes me, too," Julian spoke up. "I know that we haven't talked much but a friend of my girlfriend's is a friend of mine, too."

Haley smiled gratefully. "Thanks. Now, what were you talk about before I got distracted?"

"So, I was thinking about hosting a 'friendsgiving' this year," Brooke announced as she took a drink of her water. "My parents won't be around for Thanksgiving anyway and I'm sick of celebrating the holiday alone."

"You know that you're always invited to Thanksgiving at my house," Julian reminded her, his hand reaching out to rub her back.

Brooke sighed as she shrugged her shoulders. "I know that, but I read something online last night about friendsgiving and I thought it would be fun. Don't you think, P. Swayer?"

"I think it would be fun."

"Great—"

Haley tried to pay attention to what Brooke was saying, but her words soon became nothing but muffled sounds. She could feel a familiar shiver run down her spine. Nathan was watching her again, she was sure of it. It was unnerving for her to be completely in tune with someone the way she was with Nathan. Most people would probably be frightened by that—and there was a part of her that was—but for the most part, it made her feel…euphoric.

Glancing around the hallway, she once again searched for him. Her heart was beating loudly in her chest and it took every ounce of strength she had to not bounce in her seat. Her eyes first darted to his usual lunch table and her heart sank when she saw only Lucas and Jake occupying it. Sweeping through the rest of the corridor, heart lurched when she finally saw him leaning against the brick wall directly across from her. His arms were crossed over his chest and his lips were pressed into a hard line.

Hesitantly, she met his eyes. Seconds passed and she waited for him to immediately look away. He didn't. Apparently that was all she needed because it felt as if something had snapped inside of her. As if her body was on autopilot, she started walking towards him, ignoring the questioning calls and glances from her friends. It wasn't until Nathan realized that she was walking his way did he tear his eyes away from her and started walking in the opposite direction.

"Nathan!" Haley called after him, paying no attention to the few strange looks that were sent her way at her outburst.

Nathan tensed as Haley called after him, but he kept walking. He had to get away from her and fast. He knew it was a mistake to keep staring at her from a distance like he was. It was only a matter of time before a confrontation like this was going to happen. But it was like his eyes had a mind of his own. They were drawn to her.

"Nathan! Will you just stop for one second?" She called after him again, jogging a little so she could catch up to him. She didn't care how ridiculous or how desperate she looked to everyone else. She could hear people start to whisper around them, but she tuned them out. On a whim, she reached out and grabbed his arm.

Nathan felt his resolve begin to slip away from the moment she touched him. Gritting his teeth, he whipped around to face her. The look of concern mixed in with a little bit of anger on her face caused him to falter, but only for a moment. "Haley, just go. I don't have time for this right now."

He didn't give her a chance to respond. Instead, he pulled his arm away from her and continued walking away from her. It took everything in him to not turn around and pull her into his arms. He knew he was hurting her and that thought alone was enough to make him physically sick.

Why was this so fucking hard for him?

~x~

Nathan cupped his hands underneath the stream of cold water before splashing his face. Bracing himself against the counter, he let the water droplets glide off his face. His whole body ached and every muscle in his body was burning. After his little tiff with Haley in the hallway, he took off. School was the last place that he wanted to be and he desperately needed something to release the tension in his body. The River Court was the only place that he knew could bring him that kind of relief. He thought about going to the gym, but the thought of being around people made his skin crawl.

Reaching over the counter, he grabbed a dry towel and blotted the remaining water off his face. Once he was done, he tossed the towel back on the counter and headed into the kitchen. Whipping open the fridge, he crouched down to grab a beer. He scowled when he saw the case of beer was completely empty. _You drank it all jackass, remember?_ Straightening up, he slammed the door shut and rubbed both hands against his face.

He needed something, anything that would keep him from thinking. Every time he closed his eyes, all he saw was Haley and it was starting to drive him insane. He lost count of how many times he replayed their kiss over in his head. Kissing her had been a moment of weakness and a moment of clarity, simultaneously. It was the best mistake he ever made. And now he found himself in such a messy web of feelings that he felt like he couldn't breathe.

There was no denying that he felt something in that kiss, although that didn't stop him from trying. What he felt was something that was so terrifying, yet so addicting. So, he ran, because that's exactly what he does when reality becomes a little too real. In that moment, all he could think about was how he couldn't put Haley through was he was inevitable going to put her through—pain and heartache.

He was so fucked up and she didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve _her_.

For the past four days, he kept telling himself that she was just some girl. She was just some girl that wasn't worth losing himself over. But she wasn't just _some girl_ and the more time he spent with her, the more he felt as if losing himself wasn't as bad as it seemed. However, that damn voice, the voice that had taunted him for the last several years, wouldn't allow him to think that way.

Nathan had to stay away from her before he dug himself into an even deeper whole and that was final.

So once again, like the coward he was, he found himself avoiding her. He quickly released just how hard doing that was. Every time he passed her in the hallway, it took everything in him to not look at her. He would catch a whiff of her vanilla perfume and the wall he tried so hard to rebuild came crumbling back down. It was a constant push and pull with his feelings and it was starting to cause the ragged edges of his being to sharpen.

The worst was when she approached him for the first time in four days. He would allow himself a few seconds to marvel at her from a distance and that was it. But every single time, it was like she knew he was looking. He would force himself to look away, but today he just couldn't find that strength. When she started walking towards him, he thought his knees were going to give out. He panicked and bolted as soon as she got close enough. And when she touched him…God, everything just had to be a battle with him.

It wasn't fair to her, but in his eyes, he had no other choice. It didn't help matters that every time he saw her, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her again.

"Nate, where were you in English today?" Lucas asked as soon as he walked through the door. His eyebrows furrowed when he saw Nathan standing in the middle of the kitchen, clearly deep in thought.

Nathan jumped at the sound of Lucas' voice. Clearing his throat, he answered. "I skipped out early."

"Is everything okay?" Lucas found himself asking next. "You've been kind of out of it the last few days." Nathan seemed…different to Lucas. He was usually moody and usually kept to himself, but he seemed extra moody and extra distant. Plus, he went through an entire case of beer in four days, which was the biggest red flag to Lucas. Nathan only drank when something was bothering him.

"I'm fine," Nathan insisted as he opened the fridge again, purposely avoiding Lucas' eyes. He grabbed a water bottle before slamming it shut. "I just haven't been sleeping well lately."

"You wanna talk about it?"

Nathan narrowed his eyes as he scoffed. "You ask me that every time and I always tell you no. Why do you keep asking?"

Lucas inhaled deeply before letting it out slowly. "Just so you know that the offer is always there."

Nathan just nodded as he turned away from Lucas and headed back towards his room. He wanted so badly to open up to Lucas and tell him everything that was swirling around in his mind, but it was like he physically couldn't.

"Does this have anything to do with what you told Jake and me when you had that panic attack last weekend?"

Nathan's body locked up, his grip on the water bottle tightening. "I thought we agreed we weren't going to talk about that?"

Lucas sighed as he walked towards Nathan, depositing his backpack down on the counter. "Jake might have agreed to that, but I didn't."

Turning away, Nathan shook his head. The panic and pain was already starting to rise inside of him. "Lucas, can we not do this?"

"I just want to know the truth, Nathan, for once."

"You don't want that, Luke, trust me."

"I do!" Lucas raised his voice. "Every single day, I watch you suffer. I watch you carry around this weight and this guilt and it kills me because I can't do anything to help you. I can't help you, because I don't know what I'm supposed to be helping."

"Has it ever crossed your mind that I don't want your help?" Nathan shouted back. "I don't deserve to be helped, Luke. I deserve to live like this."

"But why?" Lucas pressed on. "What could you have done that is so damn horrible that you deserve to take the blame and the guilt for killing your parents?"

"It's not a question of what I did, it's a question of what I didn't do," Nathan muttered. His chest was heaving and the anger was burning through his veins like a wildfire. Lucas was pushing all of his buttons in just the right way.

Lucas walked even closer to Nathan. He was being borderline evil by goading Nathan the way he was, he knew that. But he was so sick and tired of being lied to. He just wanted to help Nathan and if beating the truth out of him was what it took to finally get somewhere, then so be it.

"And what didn't you do? Pay Damien the money for all the drugs you two used to do? Is that it? You get high too many times and all of a sudden Damien wasn't offering free hand outs anymore? Or what? Did you fuck Damien's girl and he got pissed?" Lucas pressed on. He was in Nathan's face at this point.

It was then that Nathan lost it. The anger in his veins snapped and suddenly it was flooding his whole body. He shoved Lucas backwards, his throat burning with the hot and angry sobs that were threatening to spill out. "Damien wanted me to drug some girl and take advantage of her, alright? He all but forced me to do it, but I wouldn't. I couldn't and because I couldn't follow his orders, he demanded that I pay him for all of the drugs he let me bum off of him! I refused to pay him and as payback, he set my house on fire."

Lucas took a step back, his eyes widening. He wasn't sure what he expected Nathan to say, but it definitely wasn't that. "H-How much money?"

"$15,000."

Lucas eye's widened even further. "Why didn't you talk to dad? Why didn't you ask him for help? You know damn well he would have helped you."

"Because I was too stubborn," Nathan shouted, the tears were falling from his eyes in hot streaks. "Dad warned me a thousand times that Damien was bad news, but I never listened. I didn't want to go to Dad because I knew that he would've tore me a new one for not listening to him in the first place. Because of my damn pride, they're dead! Because I couldn't do what Damien said, they're dead! It's all my fucking fault."

"No, it's not," Lucas muttered softly. He didn't know what else to say. He was having a hard time processing what Nathan had just revealed to him, but he still didn't blame Nathan for Dan and Deb's death. He may have made some costly mistakes, but he didn't make Damien start that fire.

Nathan had never felt so weak in his entire life. He never wanted to tell Lucas the truth and now that he had, he just felt worse. Turning away from his brother, Nathan headed back to his room. He heard Lucas call after him, but he ignored it. He couldn't look Lucas in the eyes. He didn't want to see the pain and the blame that he would inevitably find there. He would rather die.

~x~

Nathan jumped awake, a thin layer of sweat covered his body and his heart was beating painfully fast in his chest. He had that dream again, the one where his mom was trapped underneath the beam and he couldn't get to her. Only this time, his mom didn't morph into Haley. And this time, his mom's last words were, "you killed me." He swore he could still hear those words echoing in his head.

Tossing the blanket off of his body, he stumbled out of his bed. Between the guilt and his racing heartbeat, he found something else—need. It was thrumming through his body in unexplainable amounts. His mind was a jumble of thoughts and there seemed to be only one clear thought that he was able to make out.

 _Haley._

Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was almost two in the morning, but even that wasn't enough to deter him. He had to see her. He couldn't explain why he had this sudden desire to be with her and he wasn't going to try, either. It would only confuse him more. Grabbing a pair of discarded jeans, he slid them up his legs and over his boxers. He then grabbed the first grey t-shirt that he saw and slipped it over his head. Once his shoes were on his feet, he ended into the kitchen to grab his jacket and his car keys.

He ignored the voice in his head telling him that Haley deserved the best and definitely wasn't the best. He ignored it's reminders that he was supposed to be avoiding her. He ignored it all.

Maybe later, he would let himself regret this moment of weakness, but not now.

~x~

An occasional thud slowly brought Haley out of her sleep. Blinking the sleep out of her eyes, she looked around her room. It was dark except for the small amount of moonlight peeking through her window. Deciding that she was just hearing things, she laid her back down on her pillow and cuddled deeper into the mass of blankets she had on her bed.

 _Tap. Tap_.

Hearing it again, she sat up in her bed and looked towards the window where she was sure the sound was coming from. A chill ran down her spine as her heart started pounding in her chest. This had horror movie written all over it and she wasn't about to be the stupid girl who goes investigating the odd noise in the dead of the night. Those girls always ended up dead.

She was about to sink further into the bed when she heard the noise again. Only this time she saw a rock fly up and hit her window. Tossing the blanket off of her body, she scrambled to her window. Looking outside, her heart started pounding in her chest, but this time it wasn't because she was scared. Standing on her front lawn was Nathan Scott and he was tossing rocks at her window. _What the hell?_

Before he had a chance to toss another rock, Haley popped open her bedroom window. He was just winding up his arm to throw another rock, but paused when he saw Haley looking out the window.

"What are you doing?!" She half whispered-half yelled.

Instead of saying anything, Nathan just motioned for her to come outside.

Stepping back, Haley bit her lip. The smart thing to do would be to close her window, crawl back into bed, and pray that Nathan just went away. It made no sense to her that for the last few days, she was practically dead to Nathan and now, he was standing outside of her house at—she glanced at her alarm clock—two in the fricken morning.

However, despite her better judgement, she walked back over to the window and motioned for him to give her a few minutes. Rushing over to her closet, she changed out of her sleep shorts and tank-top. She slipped a burgundy California crewneck over her head, before sliding into a pair of jeans. Stuffing her feet in a pair of boots, she grabbed her house key and quietly made her way out of her room.

She was intrigued by what Nathan wanted, that was the only reason she was going outside to meet him, or at least, that's what she tried to tell herself. Once she was outside, she saw that he had moved so that he was leaning against his black mustang. His hands were in his jean pockets and of course he was wearing his leather jacket. From where she was standing, his hair looked messy, almost as if he had just rolled out of bed.

Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest as she approached him. There were a million things that she wanted to say to him, but her words got caught in her throat. She wanted to yell at him for avoiding her and for brushing her off earlier, but as soon as she saw the look on his face, all of those thoughts melted away.

He looked scared and was that a hint of sadness she was seeing? Even in the moonlight she could see that his eyes were rimmed red and his cheeks looked like they were stained with tear tracks. Her heart lurched and she had the sudden urge to comfort him. She didn't get a chance, though. Nathan pushed himself off the side of his car and began walking back towards the driver's side.

"Get in," He demanded gruffly.

Haley's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Where are we going?"

"For a drive," He muttered as he climbed in the front seat.

Haley sat there, frozen. Internally, she weighed her options. She could get in the car and go to wherever he wanted to take her. If she decided to go, her night could either end really good or really bad. Or, she could go back up to her room and spend the rest of the night wondering where he wanted to take her and why.

When Haley heard the roar of the engine, she knew that her mind was already made up. Stealing one last glance at her house, she jogged over to the passenger side of the car and climbed in. As soon as her door clicked shut, Nathan was speeding off. Her eyes did a quick sweep of his body. His hands were clutching the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were strongly fixated on the road before him.

If he were being honest, Nathan hadn't a clue where they were going. The only thing he was sure of was that he wanted, no _needed,_ to see her. His previous dream kept replaying over and over again in his mind. He knew the only thing that would calm him down was her. Nathan couldn't explain it, but whenever he was around her, he forgot about all the bad in his life. He was tired of fighting that.

He was playing with fire again, but at this point, getting burned didn't sound so bad.

"I'm sorry," Nathan mumbled a few moments later, breaking the silence.

"For what?"

"For being an ass these last few days, for dragging you out of the house at two in the morning…for everything."

Haley's resolve softened at the sincerity in his voice. "Why did you decide to drag me out of bed?"

Nathan swallowed roughly. "I just needed to see you."

Goosebumps rose high on Haley's skin as his words sunk in. Another silence fell over them as Nathan continued to drive. Haley looked out the window and watched as the trees and dark houses passed before her eyes. She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that she couldn't explain. It wasn't a bad feeling…but it was intense.

Haley wasn't sure how long they drove in silence before they reached what looked like the River Court. This is where he wanted to take her? She watched in silence as Nathan cut the engine before stepping out of the car. Confused, she followed his lead. She watched as he began to pace the pass. He looked like he was deep in thought, clearly at war with himself over something.

He was such a mess. Everything about him was a paradox. He was a walking contradiction. _Stay away from Haley. Go to Haley. Kiss Haley. Don't feel something for Haley. Feel everything for Haley._

Nathan continued to pace the grass, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his bottom lips tightly wedged between his teeth. He could feel Haley's eyes watching his every move and it only served to increase his heart rate. He knew she was confused as all hell. He still had time to leave. He still had time to walk away and end whatever was brewing between them. But could he really do that? Did he really have that kind of strength? His mind was screaming "yes" at him, but his heart? That was a whole other story.

His last thread of control was waning way too thin and he so desperately just wanted it to snap. He wanted to be free. He wanted nothing more than to just follow the desperate pleas of desire that his heart was whispering to him. Maybe she was just what he needed. Maybe she was his salvation. His past was a fucked up mess, but maybe she was his chance to fix all of his wrongs and to start new. Maybe she could heal him.

"Nathan," Haley's soft voice carried through the wind. It was laced with concern, concern for _him_.

And apparently that was all it took for him to let himself go.

In a blink of an eye, he had Haley perched on the hood of his car. He had her pressed flush against him and his hands were buried in her hair. Seconds later, his lips were on hers and he was kissing her with so much desperation that he surprised even himself. He suddenly felt completely…alive. The need that he felt earlier resurfaced tenfold and that only caused him to kiss her harder.

Haley wasn't sure what was happening. One minute, she was watching Nathan pace back and forth. The next minute, she was sitting on the hood of his car and he was kissing the life out of her. She wanted to push him away and demand he tell her what all of this meant, but she couldn't find the strength to. Instead, her legs involuntarily wrapped around his waist and her fingers were clinging tightly to the open ends of his jacket. A sense of pride came over her when he moaned at her actions.

His hard body was aligned directly with hers and she felt dizzy from his kisses. This kiss was completely different than their first one. It was faster, but yet so much more passionate. She could feel the desperation and it caused goosebumps to form on her skin. A shiver ran down her spine and a small moan bubbled up her throat when Nathan's tongue traced the inner crevices of her mouth. She never thought that kissing someone could make her feel so alive.

When Nathan was sure his heart was going to beat out of his chest, he slowed their kiss down. His fingers unraveled from her hair and fell to caress his shoulders and down the length of her arms until they were resting on her waist. He smirked against her lips when she shivered against him. Pressing one last chaste kiss to her lips, he rested his forehead against hers. They were both breathing heavily and his body felt like it was a livewire.

Everything about her was intoxicating—the way she tasted, how she felt pressed up against him, the soft sounds she made…he wasn't ever going to get enough, that he was sure of. How could something so wrong and so treacherous feel so goddamn right?

It took several minutes for Haley to finally calm down. Slowly, she opened her eyes and her mouth felt dry at the sight before her. Nathan's eyes were still closed and the expression on his face could only be described as euphoric. She swallowed hard. As good as kissing him felt, she still wanted answers.

"What is this, Nathan?" Haley asked, her voice a little hoarse. "You kiss me, leave me stranded, and then avoid me for four days. Then you show up at my house at two in the morning, ask me to go for a drive with you, only to kiss me again?"

Nathan's eyes popped open at her voice. His heart ached at the confused and sullen expression on her face. He didn't know how to answer her. He wasn't sure how to explain how he was feeling. A million different words were swirling around in his head and he wasn't sure how to string any of them together to form coherent sentences. So, he remained silent.

Haley dropped her hands from his jacket and rested them in her lap. She released a shaky breath. "Nathan," She prodded. She wasn't going to allow him to walk away again, not without giving her some kind of explanation. "Give me something."

"I don't know how to do this, okay?" Nathan admitted. He took a step back from her and instantly felt the loss of her body. Out of aggravation, he ran a hand through his sleep mused hair.

"Do what? Talk to me?" She asked skeptically.

Nathan nodded quickly. "I don't do feelings, Haley." The gross feeling of being vulnerable was quickly forming inside of him. "I don't let myself feel. But with you…I just—"

"You just what?" Haley pushed on. At this point, the butterflies in her stomach were the size of godzillafied moths.

Nathan inhaled deeply. He could feel himself begin to clam up. But with one look in Haley's eyes, he felt himself relax. They were wide and trusting, their warm brown color pulling him in like quicksand. Walking back over to her, he gently cupped her face with the palm of his hands.

"You make me want to feel," He declared after licking his lips. "When I kissed you, I-I felt something that I didn't think existed, something that I thought I was _incapable_ of feeling. It scared the hell out of me and it still does. That's why I bolted."

Haley felt her heart skip a beat at his declaration. The way he was looking at her took her breath away. She could see the fear in his eyes, but she could also see the admiration. For once, she was left speechless as she tried to process his words. When he stepped closer to her, she inhaled sharply.

"What are you doing to me?"

The hoarse vulnerability in his voice shook something inside of her. For as long as she'd known Nathan, she couldn't recall him ever looking as exposed as he did now, not even when he told her about his scar or the fire his parents died in. Reaching up, she wrapped her fingers around his wrists and gave them a soft squeeze.

She never understood what it meant to have an out of body experience until this moment.

"What are you saying?" Haley asked breathlessly.

"Honestly, I don't know. I don't know how to do this," He repeated. It was like someone had opened flood gates in his mind and all of his thoughts were spilling out. That voice that was always taunting him was unusually silent and he had full intentions of taking advantage of that. "All I know is that ever since I met you, nothing in my life has been the same. I know I should walk away, it would be the best option for the both of us. I don't deserve you and I know I'm being selfish, but for once in my goddamn life, I want to go after what I want."

"And what do you want?"

Nathan paused as his heart began to race and his head felt like it was spinning. If he crossed that line, he was done for. He knew once he admitted what he had been trying to deny for weeks, it was over for him. There would be no more chances to walk away. And as much as that terrified him, the thought of not seeing her again terrified him even more.

"I want you."

Haley closed the distance between them and pulled him into a fierce kiss. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that this thing between them, whatever it was, was completely right. He was wrong, he did deserve her and she wanted him and nothing he said was going to change that. Her lips glided hotly over his and she felt empowered when she heard him groan at her actions. When air became an issue, she reluctantly pulled away. Her heart felt like it was going to explode as she smiled up at Nathan and he returned the gesture.

"Be patient with me, Hales, please," He murmured a few seconds later.

"I'm not going anywhere."

~x~

A loud yawn escaped Haley's lips as she packed up her all of her tutoring materials. Her last tutoring session ran a little later than usual, so she was the last one in the tutoring center. The more Haley tutored, the more that she found that she liked it. There was something so rewarding about teaching someone something and watching them get it. It made her feel good. It made her feel worthy.

"Oh, good, you're still here," Principle Turner exclaimed as he walked through the door to the Tutor Center. The first thing Haley noticed was how nervous he seemed. He was gripping the file in his heads tightly, the paper bending and wrinkling under the weight of his fingers.

Sliding her book bag over her shoulder, Haley pushed in her chair. "I was actually just getting ready to leave. Is there something I can do for you Principle Turner?"

"There is," He confirmed. "I looked over your files and I have to say, you are by far the best tutor to ever grace Tree Hill High, Miss James."

A light blush covered her cheeks at his compliment. "Thanks."

"I should be the one thanking you. Every student who is assigned to you has experienced a significant improvement in their grades. You are officially a miracle worker. Which is why am I approaching you with a new tutee," Principle Turner explained.

"Another tutee? I would really like to help, but I don't know if I can handle another student. My roster is completely full," Haley murmured as she shook her head. She could already feel herself become overwhelmed at the prospect of another tutee.

"Actually, I reassigned Joe to Shelley, so you have one spot available," He announced before handing her the folder that he was holding. "Listen to me, this tutee is a very special case and I don't think he will work well with any of our other tutors. He is what we call a 'fifth year' student. He is re-enrolled in school on a strict credit recovery basis. He has one semester to earn the credits he was short of that kept him from graduating. There is a lot riding on this, but I believe that you are the one for the job."

"Credit recovery?" Haley questioned. "Is that even possible?"

"In this case, yes," Principle Turner mumbled. She didn't miss the way he grimaced. "Now, that folder contains his transcript and a list of the classes that he'll be taking. He starts Monday and your first tutoring session will be Tuesday after school. Sound good?"

Haley sighed as she nodded. It looked as if there wasn't any way she was getting out of this. Opening up the folder, she glanced over the contents of it. Her heart stopped and her blood ran cold when she found the name of her new tutee.

" _Damien West_?!"


	10. Chapter 10

Damien is pretty screwed up, huh? Just remember that Damien's intention when he started the fire was not to kill anyone. The fact that Dan and Deb got trapped in the house was purely accidental. Damien is still 100% at fault and he's still sinister for even wanting to set Nathan's house on fire. But, just remember that fact ;). He'll get what's coming to him, I promise you that.

To the reviewer who asked about my mention of rape in my author's note last chapter- it is **not** something that will be occurring in the future for these characters. It's role in this story is of something that happened in the past. Nathan mentioned that Damien wanted him to take advantage of a girl and that will be expanded on in the future. And before you freak out, no, Nathan did not do anything of that nature. He's done some stupid things, but nothing evil or of that sort. Hopefully that clears up your concern!

* * *

Haley's heart was pounding in her chest as she ascended the stairs to the Nathan's apartment complex. It was kind of unsettling that having only been there one other time, she knew exactly how to get there and knew exactly what apartment was his—third floor, fifth door from the right. It was also the only apartment that didn't have a metal plated numbered nailed to the wall next to the front door.

Her stomach was twisting painfully as the nerves threatened to overcome her. She wasn't nervous about seeing Nathan, albeit she probably should have been. Things between them were still…hazy, for lack of a better word. After his declaration at the River Court that he wanted her and he pleaded with her to be patient with him, they shared one more soft kiss before Nathan decided to take her home. When he dropped her off, he kissed her on the cheek, told her sweet dreams, and that was that.

She meant was she said—she wasn't going anywhere, but that didn't mean she didn't want some kind of clarification. What were they now? Friends? Were they dating? But as much as she wanted to know the status of their relationship, those concerns were pushed to the side the moment that Principle Turner told her that her new tutee was none other than Damien West.

And telling Nathan about Damien was exactly why she was nervous. Haley didn't know much about Damien, aside from the fact that he gave her the creeps and there was some torrid history between him and Nathan. She could have kept the fact that she was tutoring him a secret from Nathan, she knew that. Technically, she owed him nothing. But, remembering the look of pure disdain in Nathan's eyes the night of the haunted house when Damien approached them was enough to convince her that keeping her new tutee a secret was the dumbest thing she could ever do.

Not to mention, she had a really bad feeling about this whole thing.

She took a deep breath to compose herself before lifting her fist up to knock lightly on the wooden door. It was a few seconds later that she heard the door unlock and her stomach tightened even further. The door swung open and she released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding when she saw Lucas standing there.

"Haley?" She could have sworn she saw a knowing smirk pull at his lips, but it disappeared almost as quickly as it appeared.

"Hey," She smiled shyly at him. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Oh, no, not at all," Lucas quickly denied while opening the door further. "Jake and I were just playing NBA Live. Come on in."

Twisting her hands together in an anxious manner, Haley crossed the threshold. Glancing around, she noticed Jake propped up on the couch and their video game paused on the TV. "Hey, Jake."

"Hey, Haley. It's nice to see you, again," Jake said with a soft smile. She didn't miss the no-so-discreet look that was passed between the two of them.

"You, too."

"So, what can I do for you?" Lucas questioned as he made his way back over to the couch.

"Oh, uh, I was wondering if Nathan was home? I have to talk to him about something," Haley murmured.

Jake nodded. "Yeah, he should be in his room. It's the last door on the right."

Haley muttered a quick "thank you" before taking off down the short hallway towards Nathan's room. Her heartbeat picked up in speed with every step that she took. Reaching the last room on the right, she saw that the door was wide open. Taking another quick breath, Haley walked in only to find that his room completely empty.

She furrowed her eyebrows as she paused in the doorway. There was a small part of her that felt kind of weird for being in Nathan's room when he wasn't around, like she was invading his privacy. But the curious part of her brain kept her feet rooted to the carpet as her eyes swept over his room.

The walls were off-white, almost a light cream color and they were completely bare. She noticed a door shut adjacent to where she was standing, she assumed it was the bathroom. The furthest corner from where Haley was standing was cluttered with various brown moving boxes stacked on top of one another. Glancing over to the closet, she was surprised to see that all of his clothes were neatly placed on hangers and his shoes were in their respective places. His bed was unkempt, the light tan sheets and blankets twisted haphazardly.

But what really caught her eye was the bedside table. Next to the black shaded lamp were two frames pictures. It was like her feet had a mind of their own and before she was even aware of it, she was standing in front of the table. Gently, as if the pictures were made of pure glass, she picked the largest frame up. It was the same picture of Nathan and his parents that Haley had stumbled across while looking at Lucas' first edition books. Just like the first time she'd seen it, her eyes honed in on Nathan's smiling face.

It was then that she realized she would have done anything to see him smile like that again.

Placing the picture back down, she moved on to the next one. This picture was one that she hadn't seen before. There were three boys that looked to be around the age of six or seven. She safely assumed that the dark haired one was Nathan and the other two were Jake and Lucas. They had their arms tossed on each other's shoulders and each other of them were grinning ear to ear. The background was hard to decipher, but it looked to be a gym of some sort. Her eyebrows furrowed when she noticed the little league basketball jerseys adorning their chests.

 _So, he did play organized basketball at some point in his life?_

"Hales?"

Haley jumped at the sound of his voice, the picture almost slipping out of her fingers. Hastily, she put it back down on the table and turned around, an apology already on the tip of her tongue. The words died on her lips when she saw him standing in the doorway to his bathroom with nothing but a dark blue towel tied snugly around his waist. She felt her cheeks heat up, from the fact she was caught snooping through his things or from his lack of clothing, she wasn't sure.

Wiping her now sweaty palms against the rough fabric of her jeans, she forced herself to keep her eyes trained on his face. "I'm sorry. Lucas let me in. When I told him I wanted to talk to you, he told me to just go to your room and that's where I'd find you. I should have left when I saw you weren't in here. I didn't mean to go through your stuff, not that I was—"

"Hales," Nathan said with a chuckle, a tiny smirk on his face. "It's fine, really. I don't mind."

Haley felt her cheeks redden even further at her rambling. "I'm sorry," She mumbled again.

Nathan smiled at her as he shook his head. "Let me just get dressed and then we'll talk, okay?"

Haley nodded as she swallowed hard. She tried to keep her eyes off of his bare chest, but it was like some magnetic field existed between her eyes and his skin. She watched as he walked to his closet to grab a change of clothes before disappearing back into the bathroom. Moments later, he reappeared dressed in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. His hair was still damp and slightly mused.

The first thing that Nathan noticed was how tense Haley seemed. She was chewing on her bottom lip relentlessly and if he wasn't mistaken, she was trembling. His eyebrows furrowed in concern as an uneasy feeling started to stir inside of him.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes," Haley quickly squeaked out. "Well, no, not exactly." She could feel her stomach start to churn again. Nathan seemed like he was in a good mood, something she had yet to genuinely see on him and she was about to ruin it.

Nathan tensed at her obvious discomfort. "Haley, what is it?"

She took a calming breath as she started to pace the length of his bedroom floor. "Principal Turner came to see me about tutoring a new student and well, that new student happened to be Damien West," She rushed out, her words running together.

Nathan's blood ran cold as every single muscle in his body became rigid. "What? How is that even possible?" His voice was low, but icy.

Haley grimaced when she saw Nathan's jaw lock and his fingers curl into tight fists. "He's enrolled in school on a strict credit recovery basis."

"You said no, right?" Nathan asked next. He could feel his body begin to shake at the anger that was coursing through his veins. Only Damien could manage to pull off something like this. It _was_ his goal to make Nathan's life a living hell, after all.

"I don't think I have a choice," Haley mumbled. "Principal Turner already took the liberty of moving my schedule around so it could accommodate him. Plus, he didn't really ask me, he more or less demanded that I tutor him."

Nathan ran a hand through his damp hair, his fingers pulling at the strands. "This cannot be fucking happening," He seethed. He was absolutely seeing red. The thought of Damien coming anywhere near Haley…his blood boiled. Turning away from Haley, he darted over to his closet to grab his shoes. He had to do something. What exactly that something was, he wasn't sure.

Haley instantly recognized this side of Nathan. Hell, she expected this side of Nathan to rear its ugly head. She could physically see him shaking. The same look of disdain and anger he wore on the night of the haunted house was swirling around in his blue eyes. She found herself scared again, but not of him—never of him. She was scared of what he was going to do.

"Nathan," She murmured quietly and cautiously. She reached over to touch his shoulder, but he bolted out of the way before she could.

"Over my dead body will he come anywhere near you," He gritted out, making his way out of his bedroom.

"Nathan!" Haley called after him. "What are you going to do?"

He paused at the fearful tone in her voice. Turning to look at her, his face softened the slightest amount when he saw the trepidation shining back in her eyes. His heart was pounding loudly in his chest as he stalked over to her. Grabbing her face gently with his hands, he kissed her fiercely for a few moments. Pulling away, he caressed her cheeks with the pad of his thumbs.

"I'm gonna take care of this, okay?" He declared. "I'm not gonna let Damien hurt you."

"It's not me I'm worried about," She said hoarsely, still breathless from their previous kiss. "I know you and Damien have…history—"

Nathan shook his head to silence her. "I'll be fine. He's just doing this to fuck with me and I'm not going to let him."

"But, why?" She knew that was the wrong question to ask when his eyes shifted from warm to cold in a matter of seconds.

Nathan dropped his hands from her face, his jaw locking once again. It was one thing to allow himself to feel around her, but it was another to let her to know the darkest parts of his past. The voice—that had been unusually quiet—returned. _You don't wanna get too close, Nathan. You'll scare her away._

"It's a long story."

"Nathan—"

"I have to go. We'll talk later."

~x~

Damien's house looked exactly how Nathan remembered it. It towered high above him, standing about three stories high. The white brick stood out against the darkening sky while the black roof blended in. Even in the dim streetlights, the grass looked so green, it almost appeared fake. Above the cream colored garage was a gold pleated sign, the words "The West Estate" sprawled out in perfect calligraphy. Nathan scowled at it.

A million memories came rushing back to him at the sight of this house—none of which were things that he _wanted_ to remember. His chest tightened, his heart thudding loudly in his chest. He vowed to himself that he would never step foot on this property again, yet here he was. It was for a damn good reason, but that didn't stop the anxiety and despair from trying to consume him.

Taking a much needed deep breath, Nathan stuffed his hands in his pockets. He took one last glance at the house before he began walking down a trail on the side of the house. From experience, he knew that this trail let directly to the pool house in the back of the yard. Damien spent majority of his time in his pool house. That's where he held most of his parties, kept must of his drugs, and where most of his "minions" hung around.

In Nathan's opinion, it was quite pathetic for Damien to still be living off his parents when he was almost twenty-two, but then again, everything about Damien was pathetic.

When he reached the front door of the matching whited bricked pool house, he took another calming breath before knocking. His nerve-endings felt like they would spark at any moment. It was seconds later that the door swung open and a giant puff of smoke hit Nathan square in the face. His eyes began to water as he stepped back, a rough cough tearing from his throat.

"Nathan Scott?" A female voice called out. The tone of her voice was a mixture of being surprised and flirtatious.

Nathan looked up and as the smoke cleared, Rachel came into view. He didn't even try to hide the roll of his eyes. It shouldn't have come to a surprise that she was there. When she wasn't trying to sleep with Nathan, she was on Damien's dick. "Rachel," He acknowledged curtly.

Rachel leaned against the doorframe, her thin arms crossing over her chest. It was a not-so-subtle way of pushing her breasts up, the same breasts that were already spilling out of the top of her black dress. "I didn't think we'd ever see you around here again. I was beginning to miss you," She purred, her eyelashes fluttering.

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it," He muttered dryly. "Is Damien here?"

"Yes, but he's a little busy right now," Rachel said with a wink. She opened the door wider. "But, I'll keep you company while you wait."

Nathan shook his head as he brushed passed her. "I'm not in the mood for company right now."

The inside of the pool house was murky, a thick layer of smoke hanging low in the air. It reeked of cigarettes, something acidic, and weed. The lights were dim and some techno song was playing lowly in the background. A few people that Nathan didn't recognize were sprawled out on the dark brown couches. A couple of people were smoking what looked to be a cigar, while another one was snorting cocaine off a CD case.

Being in there made his skin crawl and the hair on his body stand straight up. It was hard to believe that a little over two and half years ago, this is where Nathan felt like he belonged. Now, it was the last place he wanted to be.

"So Damien's protégé returns. Pinch me, Bear. I must be dreaming."

Nathan whipped around and immediately tensed up when he saw Tim Smith and Bear standing there. He flinched when Rachel came to stand next to him, her perfectly manicured nails trailing up and down his arm. Goosebumps, and not the good kind, formed on his skin.

"You're so tense, baby. Just relax, we're all friends here," Rachel murmured, her grip on his arm tightening.

Straightening up, Nathan snatched his arm out of Rachel's grip. He didn't bother to feel bad when she stumbled backwards, almost losing her balance. She narrowed her eyes at him, the familiar pout forming on her lips. He ignored her.

"This isn't a friendly visit and I'm not returning to anything," He gritted out.

"Oh, you say that now," Bear spoke up. "But, they always come back. It starts with a curious visit like this. You tell yourself that you're just here because you want to see what you've missed. And, then, you find yourself back here again. And then again. And then before you know it, your ass becomes a permanent fixture on one of those leather couches over there."

Nathan narrowed his eyes, his fists involuntarily clenching. "I'm not like the usual vagabonds you pick up."

"No, I suppose you're not," Tim said with a chuckle, his lips curving into a sinister smile. "You're worse."

Before Nathan had a chance to retaliate, the door to one of the bedrooms swung open, colliding roughly with the wall. Damien stumbled out, buttoning up the dark green Hawaiian shirt he was wearing. His hair was a mess and there were red marks littering his neck, all in the shape of lips.

"Boys, boys, let's not harass our guest," Damien slurred. Nathan could practically smell the alcohol on his breath from where he was standing. "What do I owe this pleasure?"

Nathan rolled his eyes at Damien's 'polite' act. "I need to talk to you. Alone."

Damien smiled. It wasn't genuine. It was one of those smiles that made your skin crawl and your throat close up in fear. "Then, let's go talk."

Nathan ignored the prodding eyes from the people around them as Damien led Nathan to the back room. The back room was known as Damien's office. No one was allowed back there unless Damien invited you back there, and most of the time getting invited meant you were in trouble. The last time Nathan was back there, Damien had demanded he pay him $15,000. Nathan's blood curled at the memory.

Once inside the office, Damien shut the door and Nathan swallowed thickly when he bolted the door shut. With a hard glare, Nathan watched as Damien walked over to his desk, plopped down in the steel chair, and swung his legs on top of the metal desk. The bare dark green walls seemed even darker in the dull light and the stack of money piled in the corner seemed to be mocking him.

"Are you just going to stand there and waste my time? Because if this is just some mind game that you want to play, I don't have time for it. There's a girl waiting for me in my bed and you know how I don't like to keep them waiting," Damien barked out, smirking.

"What the hell are you trying to pull with this whole tutoring thing?" Nathan quickly rushed out. He didn't waste any more time getting straight to the point. "Is this just another way for you to screw with me?"

Damien laughed. "Not everything I do revolves around you, Nate."

"Right," Nathan scoffed. "So, the fact that you enrolled back in at Tree Hill High right after you meet Haley and after I deny you money once again, and she ends up being your tutor is all just one giant coincidence? I highly fucking doubt it."

Damien shrugged. "Essentially, yes."

"You're full of shit," Nathan barked. The fury was making its way through him at a rapid speed. It took everything in him to not reach over that desk and wipe the smug smile off his face.

Damien rolled his eyes as he swung his legs off the desk. "I think you're being a little hyper sensitive there, Scott. My dad pulled some strings so I could go back to school. The fact that Haley ended up being my tutor was just a… _bonus_."

Nathan's jaw clenched at the suggestive way Damien was speaking. "You mean, your dad wrote a check."

Damien shrugged while smirking "Basically."

"You don't fool me, West. You don't do anything without there being an ulterior motive," Nathan grumbled.

Damien stood up and slammed his hands against the desk. A loud bang ricocheted through the tiny room. "Did you ever think that maybe I wanted to go back and get my degree? That maybe I want to actually do something with my life?"

Nathan laughed humorlessly. "Actually, no. All you've ever done is live off drug money and your parents' money. You've gotten everything that you've ever wanted with a snap of your fingers. There's no way that you suddenly had a change of heart. People don't change, you said so yourself."

"So, you're saying that I was right?"

Nathan ignored him. By this point, all of the anger inside of him was bubbling up and over the surface. "I don't know what the hell you're up to, but you're going to stay away from Haley. You are not going to drag her into whatever game you're trying to play. And you sure as hell aren't going to lay a hand on her or so help me God, I will kill you."

Damien narrowed his eyes. "You're awfully protective of this girl. I thought she meant nothing to you."

Nathan took a step back. He was breathing hard and his chest was heaving. "I don't owe you an explanation."

"I never said you did," Damien snickered. He looked like he was deep in thought for a moment before the smirk reappeared. "You want me to leave Haley alone?"

"I didn't say I wanted you to, I said that you were going to," Nathan declared roughly.

"Fine, I'll leave her alone…under one condition—you come back to us."

Nathan stiffened at that. "I thought that deal was off the table."

Damien shrugged. "It was. But despite the fact that you came in here and threatened me, I'm in a good mood. So, I'm offering you a deal. You should know by now that I never offer deals, so I suggest you consider this carefully. You come back to us, I won't lay even a fingernail on Haley. I'll even forgive your debt."

Nathan remained frozen. Everything inside of him had gone numb. It was like his brain had shut off and all he could do was stare.

Damien smiled. "I'll give you a week to think about it."

~x~

"So, what's our next move with 'Operation Naley'," Brooke asked as she slid into the booth next to Jake. She and Julian were picking up a carry out order from Karen's Café when Brooke spotted them sitting in a booth in a corner. Excusing herself from Julian—who had given her an odd look—she made her way over to them, not really caring if she was interrupting them or not.

"'Naley?'" Lucas asked with a kinked eyebrow. "What the hell does that even mean?'

"That sounds like some kind of sound a horse would make. Neigh-lee," Jake murmured, making a point of stretching out the sounds.

Brooke rolled her eyes as she folded her hands over the table. "Such narrow-minded boys. If you put Nathan's and Haley's names together, it makes 'Naley.'"

"Yeah, I'm still not following," Lucas mumbled, pursing his lips.

Brooke sighed an agitated sigh. "You know how people call celebrity couples like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie—Brangelina? It's kind of like that."

"Makes sense," Jake muttered sarcastically.

Brooke chose to ignore their stupidity. "So, what is our next move in getting those two love birds together?"

"You know, I don't think we need another well thought-out scheme," Lucas responded with a smirk towards Jake.

That piqued Brooke's interest. "Why do you say that?"

"Lucas caught Nathan sneaking back into the apartment really late a couple of nights ago, looking rather…smiley," Jake explained with a twinkle in his eye.

"And the next day, Haley looked extremely tired, like she had been out late. Now, it could have been a coincidence, but I can't think of anyone else he would be sneaking off to see in the middle of the night," Lucas said with a shrug.

"Oh, and not to mention, Haley stopped by the apartment yesterday. I'm almost positive that I caught them kissing. I meant to rib Nathan about it, but he bolted out of the apartment so fast that I didn't get a chance to," Jake continued on, his explanation ending with a small frown.

Brooke's mouth dropped open in shock. "You're kidding?!"

Lucas shook his head. "Negative."

Brooke crossed her arms over chest. "I can't believe Haley didn't tell me that she kissed Nathan! I thought we were friends," She huffed, pouting.

Jake laughed. "Maybe she's not the kiss-and-tell type."

"Still. I'm going to have to get it out of her when we hang out later. It's girl code to tell your friends about potential relationships," Brooke whispered, more to herself than to anyone else.

"Whatever you say," Lucas said with a chuckle.

"Brooke, you ready to go?" Julian called out from the entrance. He was holding their food in two brown paper bags. His eyes were narrow as he glared at Jake and Lucas.

"Uh, yeah," Brooke answered back. "I'll talk to you guys later."

Sliding back out of the booth, Brooke walked over to where Julian was standing. With one more stiff glare towards Lucas and Jake, Julian exited Karen's Café. "Since when do you talk to Jake Jagielski and Lucas Scott?"

"Jake's an old friend," Brooke responded as she laced her fingers with his.

"An 'old friend,' huh?" Julian spat out.

Brooke giggled at the jealous edge to Julian's voice. "It's not like that."

"Yeah, well judging by the way he was looking at you, I think it is like _that_."

Brooke sighed, shaking her head. "Look, if you must know, I was just talking to them about Nathan and Haley. They both seem to like each other and we were talking about setting them up, that's all."

Julian's lips pressed into a hard line and he visibly tensed. "I would stop doing that, if I were you."

Brooke's eyebrows furrowed. "What? Why?"

"Nathan Scott isn't a good guy. Nathan is the last person Haley needs to be around."

"You act like you know Nathan," Brooke accused, her voice rising. She couldn't understand the sudden change in Julian's demeanor.

"I know him a lot better than you do," Julian fought back.

Brooke stopped walking as she tore her hand away from his. "What do you have against Nathan? Every time he's mentioned, you get all squirrelly and now, you're being an ass about him."

Julian turned to look at her, his eyes cold. "He's just not a good guy, simple as that. I don't have to explain any further."

Brooke placed her hands on her hips. "I don't believe all of those stupid rumors and you shouldn't either. You know how people like to spread shit for their own amusement."

"They're not just rumors, Brooke!" Julian shouted back before turning his back on her and walking away.

"Julian!"

"Just forget it, Brooke. You believe whatever the hell you want."

~x~

"I was thinking of buying new uniforms for the squad this season," Brooke announced as she flipped through a magazine.

"What's wrong with the ones we have?" Peyton asked, not once looking up from her sketch book.

Brooke shrugged. "They're old and haven't been changed in the last fifteen years. And it shows. Which reminds me, I need to start planning try outs for our open spot, unless Haley decides she wants it."

Haley's head snapped up at the mention of her name. All three of the girls were hanging out in Brooke's room. Haley had been trying to read one of the million magazines Brooke owned, but her head was in a completely different place. She was starting to think that she was turning into one of those pathetic school girls who spent all of their time thinking about their boyfriends. God, she despised those girls. Although, Nathan wasn't her boyfriend…or was he? The jury was still out on that one, apparently.

That didn't stop her from constantly worrying about what he was doing or how he was. She hadn't heard from him since she told him she had to tutor Damien and that was a whole twenty four hours ago. She trusted him, but she was still uneasy about what his version of 'I'll take care of it' meant.

"I already told you, me and physical activity of any kind don't mix," Haley muttered with a shake of her head.

"Oh, come on, I'm sure I could whip you into a cheerleader with only a few short practices," Brooke tried to persuade.

"Not a chance in hell," Haley declared. Just the thought of standing up in front of a crowd in a skimpy cheerleading uniform and dancing/cheering made her stomach queasy. She was never good in front of crowds.

Peyton sat up on her knees and squinted her eyes at Brooke. "Dude, the season doesn't even start for another two months. Why are you already trying to recruit and make changes?"

Brooke shrugged. "There's no harm in preparing early, P. Sawyer."

"You usually only over-throw yourself into cheerleading or student council when you're fighting with your parents or Julian," Peyton said knowingly. "So, which is it?"

Brooke let out a huff of breath as she put her magazine down. "Julian."

"What'd he do?" Haley asked, putting down her own magazine.

Brooke hesitated. She couldn't very well tell Haley about their fight. If she did, not only would she have to tell Haley about their scheme of trying to get her and Nathan together, but she would also have to reminder her yet again of Nathan's reputation. Brooke didn't believe all of the horrible things that were said about Nathan. She feared that telling Haley would cause a riff in her relationship with Nathan and from what Lucas and Jake told her, things had been going well between them.

"I'm not really sure," Brooke finally said. "Everything was fine and then all of a sudden he got really snippy with me."

"I swear, boys have periods too," Peyton said with a laugh. "It's the only thing that would explain their random mood swings."

"I would give him a little while to cool down, before talking to him," Haley suggested. "Maybe something is going on at home and he's just fired up about it right now. He probably didn't mean to take it out on you."

Brooke smiled shakily at Haley. "Yeah, you're probably right. Speaking of relationships, what's going on with you and Nathan?" She was clearly desperate to get the conversation off the topic of her.

Haley cursed her ability to easily blush when she felt her cheeks begin to heat up. "Nothing."

"Bullshit!" Brooke exclaimed lightheartedly. "Jake told me that he saw you two kissing yesterday."

Haley was sure her face was as red as the shirt she was wearing.

"You and Jake are sure talking a lot lately," Peyton piped up, an eyebrow cocked suspiciously.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "It is _so_ not like that. And that's not the point right now. Don't change the subject!"

Haley looked down, her eyes focusing on her magazine again. "So, we've kissed a couple of times." She knew she was downplaying it. But these types of things always embarrassed her.

"A couple of times?!" Brooke and Peyton yelled in unison.

"I want details," Brooke demanded. "Don't you dare leave anything out. When did it first happen? What kind of kiss was it? Is he a good kisser? And why the hell didn't you tell us?"

Haley felt overwhelmed by all of the questions Brooke was throwing her way. Luckily for her, her phone dinged and it offered up a momentary distraction. Picking up her phone, her forehead creased when she saw she had a text message from an unsaved number. Opening it, her eyes widened.

 _Meet me at the River Court. Please._

She already knew exactly who it was.

Standing up, she tossed her magazine to the side. Silently, she thanked God for the much needed interruption. "As much as I would love to give you all of the gory details, I gotta go."

"What?" Peyton gasped. "You can't leave us hanging like that!"

"In this case, I can."

"Haley! I swear to God!"

But, she was already down the stairs and out the door.

~x~

"Hey."

Nathan stopping dribbling the ball at the sound of her voice. His once tense body relaxed as soon as he locked eyes with her. Her blonde hair was pulled back and her face was clear of make-up. The red sweater she was wearing made her brown eyes seem even richer.

"Hey, you got my text."

Haley smiled as she slid her hands into the back pocket of her jeans. Nathan didn't look as angry as he did the day before, but he still seemed a little on edge. "I did. Where'd you get my number?"

"I have my ways," Nathan responded with a coy smile. When she raised her eyebrows, he chuckled. "I asked Jake, who asked Brooke."

"Why didn't you just ask me yourself?" She asked, matching his smile. She stopped walking when she was standing directly in front of him.

Nathan shrugged, shifting the basketball so it was resting against his waist. "Honestly, I don't know."

Haley giggled as she rocked nervously on her heels. "So, about this Damien thing…," She began. She figured that's why he texted her to meet him at the River Court.

Nathan swallowed hard. "I'm taking care of it." Damien's offer was still echoing in the back of his mind. He was torn between what he should do and what he had to do. It wasn't an easy decision to make. If he were being honest, it was probably going to be one of the hardest decisions he'd ever have to make. Which is exactly why he ended up at the River Court. He needed to clear his mind.

Haley sighed as she took a cautious step towards him. She could see the stress lines return to his face, his jaw clenching. "You don't have to do that, Nathan. I can take care of myself."

He dropped the basketball, the bounce of the leather against the concrete was nothing but a hollow sound. "I know that. But, can you honestly tell me that you would be comfortable with spending an hour with him, by yourself, multiple times a week?"

Haley bit her lip as her skin prickled at the picture Nathan had painted. "No, but—"

Almost as if it were natural instinct, Nathan closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her waist, lacing his fingers together at the small of his back. "Then, you're not going to have to."

Haley relaxed at his touch, a conceding sigh leaving her lips. "Okay."

Nathan smiled softly as he leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead. He knew nothing about relationships and had zero experience, but with Haley, everything seemed to come to him by instinct. He wasn't sure if he could call what they had a 'relationship', but it was something. He was still scared about the way he felt about her, but his fear over what to do with those feelings seemed to be melting away a rapid pace.

He never thought he would see the day.

"Well, don't stop at my account," Haley murmured her head nodding towards the basketball hoop.

"You want to watch me play?"

Haley shrugged, smiling at him. "Why not?" She hadn't seen him play in a few weeks. She was never into sports, but she liked watching Nathan play, even if he claims that he's not actually playing basketball.

"If that's what you want," He chuckled while releasing his grip on her waist.

Haley trotted over to the set of bleachers and hopped up to the third level. Sitting down, she smiled as Nathan walked over to the grass to retrieve the discarded basketball. This reminded her a lot of the time he tried to show her how to shoot a basket. She watched in awe as he fell into the natural rhythm of the game.

He was light on his feet. Every move that he made looked effortless and smooth. When he leapt in the air, she swore she could see wings extending out of his back. It seemed unhuman to be able to jump that high without some kind of aid. Every single time he jumped, he landed upright and softly on his feet.

She suddenly remembered the picture beside his bed of him playing in little league basketball.

"Why don't you play for the Ravens?" Haley found herself wondering out-loud. "And don't you dare say sports don't interest you."

Nathan stopped at her question. He couldn't help but a crack a smile at the way she was pointing her finger at him in a demanding manner. "Do you think I should be playing for the Ravens?"

Haley nodded. "I'm not all that educated in basketball, or sports in general, but even I can see that you're extremely good."

Nathan bounced the ball once before catching it and holding it at his side. "I used to," He revealed.

Haley's eyebrows furrowed. "Really?"

Nathan nodded, sighing heavily. "I made varsity my freshman year."

"Why don't you still play?" Haley asked, surprised. With little knowledge that she had, she did know that making varsity as a freshman rarely ever happened.

"I got kicked off the team right before the first game," Nathan admitted quietly. He looked down, clearly ashamed. He hated talking about this, which was why he never did. But, Haley's wide and trusting eyes had him opening up his soul, once again.

"What happened?"

Nathan sighed. "When I made the team, they did a grade check. My grades weren't up to par with what they wanted and Coach Durham gave me until the first game to bring them up, or I was off the team. Obviously, that didn't happen and I was canned."

"Couldn't you try out again?" She offered up.

"I could," Nathan mumbled. "But, I can't."

"Why not?"

"Basketball was a huge deal to my dad. He loved it and he was practically the best player to ever play at Tree Hill. It was something that Lucas, my dad, and I bonded over. When I got cut from the team, he was furious," Nathan explained. "But, he wasn't furious because I wasn't playing, he was furious because he thought I lied about wanting to play and trashing my grades was my way of getting out of it. About a month before he died, I promised him that I wanted to play and that I was going to get my act together. But he died before I could make that happen. So—"

"You don't play because you feel like you would be betraying him," Haley filled in for him. She could feel a small layer of tears build up in her eyes at the obvious pain in Nathan's voice.

Nathan nodded sadly. His throat felt tight and his hands were shaking. He still wasn't used to being vulnerable and he assumed that he never would be.

Haley pushed herself off of the bleachers and made her way over to him. "I don't think by playing again that you would be betraying him," Haley said honestly as she reached up to caress his cheek. "If anything, I think you would be honoring him. Basketball was something that you guys shared and I think he would want you to play, especially if it was something that you really wanted."

Nathan vigorously shook his head. His heart was pounding in his chest and his throat felt like it was burning. "I don't know if I can, Hales. It…hurts too much. "

"It's okay," She said soothingly. Reaching up, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a comforting hug. "You can do this, Nathan. And I'm always going to be here to help you."

Nathan dropped the basketball and pulled her close, his arms encircling her tightly. The vanilla scent of her perfume surrounded him and he let the warmth of her soothe him. "Thank you, Hales. For everything."


	11. Chapter 11

Nathan is _ **extremely**_ stubborn and I've written him that way on purpose. I have a plan and I have my reasons for things happening the way that they are. Even the smallest details have meaning in this story. Nathan still believes that he is at fault for his parents dying. Some of the depression that Nathan is feeling in this story stems from my own battle with depression, just magnified. I haven't gone through anything that Nathan has in this story, but what I do know is that depression can convince you that you are guilty of things, even if deep down you know that you're not. Sometimes it convinces you that you need to shut everyone out and that you don't need help from anyone, no matter how badly you want it. Depression can be a pretty powerful thing. It can consume if you let it, and unfortunately for Nathan, he's let it. He's made some progress in some ways, but he's also moving backwards in other ways. Like I mentioned before, he needs professional help and that will eventually come into play.

In regards to what he decides to do about Damien's offer- whatever he decides, whether it be to join or to not join, it's not exactly going to be what you think. I have a twist planned with his decision. That's all I'm going to say about that ;)

I don't really know why I just went on that rant. I guess I was hoping that by giving you guys a little insight on some of things that I'm thinking. To be completely honest, I'm a little apprehensive about this chapter because it is a lot more comedic and "fluffy" than the previous ones. There is some angst and drama, but I thought maybe bringing a little light into this story wouldn't hurt. Hopefully y'all like it! I'm not even gonna apologize for the length, even if it is the longest chapter I've written thus far.

* * *

The stinging pain in his chest was impossible to ignore. It reminded him of a paper cut— the tiniest contusion that most of the time you forgot was there, until you grazed it with water or alcohol and the sharp pain rendered you useless for a couple of seconds. Only this type of pain didn't last for a couple of seconds, it lasted for hours and it was far more crippling.

Nathan stared hard at the brown box, which was the current reason for this spout of pain. It was sealed shut by a thick layer of packaging tape, completely untouched. He hadn't dared to open this box. In fact, he even avoided looking at it. He stuffed it in the corner, along with a couple of other brown boxes. He hoped that the other boxes would be able to camouflage it. Some days, it worked. Other days, not so much.

Inside of that box was the physical remains of his house and his parents. It was all that he had left of them and that time of his life. For the longest time, he refused to open it. He didn't want to see the charred pictures or the blackened memorabilia. It was just another one of the million reminders of his past and instead of dealing with the pain, he decided to avoid any type of triggers. It wasn't healthy, but it was easy.

He wasn't sure what possessed him to finally open that box. After his conversation with Haley at the River Court, it was like his body was functioning on autopilot. Before he was completely conscious of what he was doing, he had the box sitting in front of him and a box cutter clutched tightly in his right hand. Now that he was aware of his surroundings, he was frozen.

Opening that box was like opening up a time capsule. All of the things he tried to forget were in that box. He had to face it sometime, though. Maybe by allowing himself to come face to face with his biggest fears would allow him to let go of some of that pain he was so desperately holding on to.

Without allowing himself to second guess, he took a deep breath and dragged the box cutter along the taped seam. His hands were shaking as he pulled apart the box, revealing its contents to his watery eyes. The scent of burnt paper and something musky attacked his senses. His eyes watered further, from the emotions running wild inside of him or from the smell, he couldn't be sure.

His throat closed up as his fingers delicately picked up the first item in the box. It was a picture frame. The once smooth wood was singed and the glass covering was almost completely gone, save a sharp edge sticking out of the corner. The picture itself, miraculously, was in perfect condition. It was his parents wedding picture. Every time he walked into his living room that was the first picture his eyes would land on. The fact that it was located on the coffee table, facing the front door was most likely the reason for that.

Dan and Deb looked so incredibly happy in that picture. His mom's wedding dress was simple and elegant, kind of like her. The smile on her face was bright, the happiness reaching her eyes. He missed that smile. He missed the safeness he felt whenever she would smile at him like that. His dad's arms were wrapped tightly around Deb's waist, his eyes focused on her instead of the camera. It was impossible not feel the love radiating off of his eyes, the adoration shining like a neon light.

Before the emotions became too much, Nathan put that picture down on the bed next to him. Reaching in, his fingers found the leather binding of a book. When he looked down, he realized that it was his dad's old high school year book. The cover used to blue, black, and white…now it was just black. The glossy pages were wilted and some were burned beyond recognition.

Nathan could still clearly remember sitting in Dan's lap when he was little and looking through all of the pictures. Dan was on practically every page of that yearbook and Nathan remembered just how much he used to idolize him.

 _"I wanna be just like you when I grow up, Dad."_

 _Dan chuckled as he turned the page to yet another basketball page. "Nah, I don't think you can do that, son."_

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _Reaching down to ruffle his hair, Dan smiled at the four-year-old boy in his lap. "You're gonna be better than me, I just know it. You and your brother are definitely going to give me a run for my money."_

Nathan smiled softly at the memory as he picked up the yearbook. The ache in his chest intensified, but he didn't allow it to consume him. He made it this far, and he wasn't going to stop now. Settling the book into his lap, he paused when he noticed a piece of metal sticking out of the back of the book.

His eyebrows furrowed. Opening the book up to the last page, he caught the piece of metal before it dropped into his lap. When he picked it up, his jaw locked. He blinked hard, his eyes squeezing shut before reopening. He had to make sure that he wasn't seeing things. When the image was still there, he felt his blood boil.

The piece of metal was jagged and dirty. There was a logo imprinted on the metal that was almost unrecognizable underneath all of the scratches, but Nathan would have recognized it anywhere. The "W" was in large and elegant cursive, the loops smooth and precise. There was a thin circle around the "W", a series of spikes protruding from the mark.

Nathan knew that symbol and he knew it well. It was Damien's signature. All of the drugs he sold where marked with that symbol. All of his "important" paperwork was signed with that same symbol. The police had completely missed that, but that was because they weren't looking. That symbol would have meant nothing to them, but it meant everything to Nathan.

Tossing the book and the picture frame back in the box, he returned it to respective spot. He clutched the piece of metal tightly in his hands, ignoring the way it painfully dug into his skin. This was hope. This was justice. Suddenly, his decision between joining Damien or not had some weight to it.

~x~

Haley tossed her calculus book in her locker, the sound of the thick book hitting the metal was drowned out by the incessant chatter of all the students in the hallway. It was majority of the student body's lunch period and the halls were especially lively during that time. Reaching in her locker, Haley grabbed her bag and swung it over her shoulder.

Quickly, she did a sweep of the hall and sighed heavily when she didn't see Peyton or Brooke. Their daily routine consisted of them all meeting at Haley's locker, before heading to the courtyard for lunch. She remembered that they both had biology the period before and their class must have ran behind because they were never late. She did one more sweep of the hall, but stopped when she spotted Nathan at the other end.

He was standing at his locker and she had the perfect view of his side profile. He looked to be unloading his back pack into his locker. He looked deep in thought, his forehead creases and his eyes cold. Once he was done, her heart skipped in beat when he looked directly at her. A soft smile—one that she knew was strictly reserved for her—spread across his features. His once cold glare softened. Her cheeks felt hot as she smiled back.

"So, what new with you and dark and delicious over there?"

Haley practically jumped twenty feet in the air at the sound of Brooke's voice. Whipping around to face her, Haley felt her cheeks heat up even further when she saw the knowing smirk and kinked eyebrow on Brooke's face.

"Nothing, really," Haley answered shortly.

Brooke rolled her eyes…hard. "Listen, Tutor Girl, I don't know why you're being so aloof about Nathan and I get it if you're not the 'tell-all' type, but you don't have to lie about it. I already know that you guys have kissed and I am fully aware of the looks you give each other when you think no one's looking."

"I am not being aloof," Haley quickly denied. She was silently kicking herself for the blush she knew was covering her cheeks. Her tendency to blush so easily really got her in trouble sometimes.

"Yes, you are," Brooke insisted. "I'm beginning to think that you don't trust me with details about your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," Haley mumbled quietly.

"Well, he's your _something_."

"You're right, he is my _something_ ," Haley said with a sigh as she glanced back over to where he was standing. She frowned when he was no longer there. "It's not that I don't trust you, I do. You've become a really great friend. I honestly don't have much to tell you. We've kissed a few times, we've hung out a few times, and that's it."

"So, you guys haven't had the relationships talk yet?"

Haley shook her head, but cringed when Brooke's eyes light up. That was never a good sign. She could already see the wheels turning in her head.

"You know what this calls for, right?"

"I'm afraid to ask," Haley muttered dryly.

"You should ask him out on a date."

Haley's eyes widened at that, her stomach twisting oddly at that. She's never been the aggressive type and asking a guy out on a date seemed way out of her comfort zone, especially a guy like Nathan. "Wh-what? A date?"

Brooke nodded. "Yes. You have to go after what you want, Tutor Girl. If you want answers, you have to get them."

"Brooke, I don't know. Nathan…he's not really like other guys," Haley defended. Something about being assertive with Nathan felt…odd. She was well aware of the fact that he wasn't a relationship type of guy, he even told her that himself. She said she would be patient, but would taking a step forward be going against that promise?

Brooke smiled gently at Haley as she leaned back against the locker adjacent to Haley's. "Trust me, Haley, I know that he's different. He's never been in the dating scene. But like I've said before, you're the first girl that he's shown an interest in and that means a lot. I've seen the way you look at him and he looks at you the same way. I think you would hate yourself if you let him slip away."

Haley was taken back by the sincerity she found in Brooke's words and by just how much she was making sense. "I don't want to push him, Brooke."

"Maybe a push is just what he needs," Brooke countered. "You said so yourself—Nathan isn't like other guys. He's guarded and he doesn't let many people close to him, but he has let you."

Haley expelled a deep breath of air as she ran a hand through her hair and twisted her fingers in the strands. Of course, Brooke had to be making absolute sense…for once. "You make a good point. But, I'm not experienced with this, either. Do I just walk up to him and be like 'wanna go on a date?' What are we going to do on this date? I don't know any date-like things in this town."

Brooke laughed softly at Haley's nervous rampage. She reached over to give her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Relax, before you give yourself an ulcer. Ask him if he's free Friday night. If he says yes, ask him if he'd like to go out with you. And as for what you'll actually do on your date, just leave that up to me."

Haley grimaced. "I'm not sure how I feel about that…"

"Oh, have some faith in me! I'm a lot of fun and I can guarantee that your date will be far from boring," Brooke promised. The excited glint in her eye make Haley's anxiety skyrocket.

"Yeah, that's kind of what I'm worried about."

~x~

Haley couldn't believe Brooke had actually talked her into doing this. The palms of her hands felt clammy and her stomach felt like it was wrapped in a tight coil. She was never good at making moves on boys. In fact, she was always jealous of girls who could flirt shamelessly with their crushes or ask them out like it wasn't a big deal. Never did she think she would be one of those girls. Yet, here she was…walking towards Nathan in a crowded court yard and mentally preparing herself to do just that.

It helped calm her nerves a little that he was alone. Jake and Lucas had yet to join him for lunch, but she was sure that they would at any minute. That was just more added pressure. When she reached the table he was sitting at, she paused and took one last calming breath. If she didn't take the plunge now, she never would. Besides, it's not like Nathan was going to say no, right?

"Hey." Haley tried to keep her voice as casual as possible as she slid into the side of the table opposite from him.

Nathan looked up at the sound of her voice and on cue, he felt his heart begin to race a little. "Hey, is everything alright?" It made him a little nervous that she was approaching him at school. They never had much interaction there—not that, that was ever done on purpose—but things were always low-key between them.

"Uh, y-yeah," Haley stuttered. She was mentally kicking herself for the nervous edge to her voice. "I was, uh, wondering if you were free Friday night?"

Nathan's eyebrows shot up at that. "Yeah, I think so. Why?"

"Would you, maybe, want to go on, uh, date with me?" She rushed out in one breath.

Nathan's lips curled up into a half smile-half smirk. He could practically feel the anxiety radiating off of her and he would be lying if he said he didn't find it completely adorable. He's had girls ask him out before, but none of them were ever like Haley. They were never nervous and the tone of their voices always held a double meaning to it. That was one of the many reasons he found himself drawn to her.

He couldn't deny the exhilarating feeling that rushed through him at the prospect of going on a proper date with Haley.

"I guess that depends on what you have in mind," Nathan teased.

Haley faltered for a moment. Brooke still hadn't given up any hints about what she was planning and well, now she wasn't sure how to respond to Nathan. "Okay, honestly, I'm not sure yet. I was just thinking that we've never done anything strictly fun together and I figured that both us could use a night out. But if—"

"You're rambling, again, Hales," Nathan cut her off with a chuckle.

"I'm sorry," She apologized sheepishly. "I do that a lot, don't I?"

"I don't mind," He chuckled softly. "But, I think you're right. Something fun…would be good for us."

When he realized the words that had just left his mouth, he felt this weird shift in his body. He hadn't done something "fun" in ages. He never allowed himself to do something fun because he believed that he didn't deserve to feel anything but pain. If he ever caught himself feeling happy or carefree, the guilt would soon bubble up inside of him. But the prospect of doing something fun with Haley? He felt a twinge of guilt, but it was muted.

"So it's a date, then?" She asked with a smile of her own.

Ignoring that small twinge of guilt, he smiled back. "It's a date."

~x~

"Luke, do you have a dress shirt I could borrow?"

Lucas looked up from the novel he was reading with furrowed eyebrows. Nathan had his hands stuffed in his pockets and there was a look of apprehension on his face. Closing his book, Lucas placed it down on the coffee table and sat up from the couch.

"A dress shirt?"

Nathan nodded, shifting uncomfortably under Lucas' intense gaze. The suspicious gleam in his eyes made Nathan's stomach knot up even further. He'd spent, and this was no exaggeration, the last few days or so sifting through his closet when he realized that he didn't have anything…sophisticated enough for a date. Most of his clothes consisted of t-shirts, sweatshirts, and workout clothes. He did have a black suit, but he hadn't worn that since his parent's funeral. Besides, wearing a suit seemed a little too…formal for a date.

Never once in his life did Nathan ever imagine himself doing something so "girly", but then again, he never imagined himself going on a date either. Dates weren't his thing and neither were feelings, but both of those things were possible with Haley James, apparently.

"Yeah," Nathan forced out after clearing his throat.

"What for?"

Nathan silently cursed Lucas for always feeling the need to ask so many questions. It's not that he didn't like telling his brother every little detail of his life (okay, so maybe, he didn't), but he knew for a fact that Lucas was going to _really_ bust him up over this.

"A date," Nathan mumbled almost silently and reluctantly.

Lucas' eyes light up, the bewilderment and hint of happiness shining bright within their blue color. A mischievous smirk tugged at the corner of his lips and Nathan inwardly groaned. He could practically see the ideas and questions churning in Lucas' mind.

"Is it with Haley?" Lucas teased.

Nathan rolled his eyes as an aggravated sigh expelled from his lips. This is exactly why he didn't want to tell Lucas. "Something tells me that you already know the answer to that."

Lucas chuckled as he popped up from the couch. "I think I have a few shirts that you could borrow."

Following Lucas back into his room, Nathan rubbed the now sweaty palms of his hands against his jeans. It seemed like with every minute that passed, the more the nerves ate away at him. He felt almost ridiculous for feeling as anxious as he as did. It was just Haley. They'd spent quite a lot of time together recently and despite the constant inner battle he faced with his the voices of his inner demons, he was starting to feel more at ease around her.

But the thing was, there was no "just" with Haley. It was no secret that something was rapidly brewing between the two of them and he wasn't sure what to make of that. And he didn't want to think about it, because he knew the more he thought about it, the more the voices in his head would try and convince him that this whole thing with her was a terrible idea. The only thing that he was positive about was that he was terrified. He was terrified of screwing things up, like he had done so many times before. He was terrified of making the wrong choices and dragging Haley down with him. He was terrified…of losing her.

She had only been a fixture in his life for such a minuscule amount of time, yet he couldn't imagine going on without her. It was a heady realization that had his heart sputtering in his chest.

"You're nervous," Lucas stated as he grabbed three different shirts off their hangers—one black, one light blue, and one white. The smirk that was adoring his face only widened.

"What? No," Nathan quickly denied, his voice squeaking at the end.

Lucas tossed his head back as he laughed. "Dude, your eye is doing that twitch thing."

"What twitch thing?"

"The twitch thing it always does whenever you're nervous."

Snatching the shirts out of Lucas' hands, Nathan swallowed thickly. "Okay, so I'm nervous."

Lucas smiled at that. "Things are getting pretty serious between the two of you, huh?"

Nathan swallowed hard. He wasn't sure how to answer that. "Uh, sure?"

Lucas smirked at Nathan's obvious discomfort. He refused to meet his gaze, which was hint number one that Nathan was avoiding something. "Don't bother trying to deny it. Jake saw you two kissing the other day and according to him, it was a pretty _passionate_ kiss."

Nathan's eyes widened and he actually felt as if his cheeks were burning. He never blushed. "Uh, yeah, about that, um…"

Lucas chuckled at Nathan's loss of words. The blush on his cheeks and the nervous shifting of his body gave him away. Walking towards his bed, he plopped down on and patted the spot next to him. "Come on and tell your older brother all about it."

Nathan rolled his eyes, but remained rooted in his spot. "You're loving this, aren't you?"

"Oh, yes, I am," Lucas said as he nodded happily.

"I just…I don't have a clue about what I'm doing," Nathan stumbled out after a few moments hesitation. "I've never been on a date before. I don't know the first thing about how to handle this. I've never had a girlfriend before."

"Do you want her to be your girlfriend?"

Nathan paused. The word "girlfriend" seemed foreign to his ears, but he found that he liked it. "I…I'm not sure. I just…want her." It felt so out of place for him to be saying those words out loud. Lately, vulnerable seemed to be his constant mood and it was starting to give him whiplash. He wanted to be scared of this new side of him, and even though a small part of him was, he found that he liked it more than he didn't.

"What are you guys doing on this date anyhow?"

Nathan shrugged. "I'm not sure. Brooke planned the whole thing. I'm supposed to pick Haley up at eight and that's all I know."

Lucas pressed his lips together as he resisted the urge to laugh. "Well, if Brooke is involved, you can bet that it isn't going to be boring."

Nathan chuckled softly. "Yeah, I suppose you're right."

Lucas sighed when he saw the nervous expression on Nathan's face strengthen. It was definitely weird to see him like this. Most of the time, Nathan's moods consisted of being angry or being depressed. Seeing a little color on his face and a little life in his eyes was a nice change.

"You've hung out with Haley before, haven't you?" Lucas questioned a few moments later.

Nathan nodded. "Yeah…kind of."

"Then just think of it as just another one of those times," Lucas said casually. "The added pressure is there just because of the word 'date.' If you don't think of it that way, it won't be so scary. And as for the whole girlfriend situation, don't think too much about it. Go after what you want."

Nathan cocked an eyebrow. "You've been reading those chick magazines again, haven't you?"

"You could just say 'thanks for the advice, man', instead of being an ass," Lucas shot back, his eyes narrow.

Nathan smiled, followed by a small shrug. "What's the fun in that?"

Lucas laughed shortly, a smile melting on to his features. He couldn't remember the last time they banter so freely like this. He could still see the anguish and pain in Nathan, but it was no longer his dominate feature. Lucas had a sneaking suspicion that Haley was the number one cause for that.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Nathan asked suspiciously.

"Because, I can't remember the last time I'd seen you like this," Lucas admitted lowly. "It's nice."

Nathan felt a pang in his stomach at Lucas' words. It was a mixture of elation and guilt, an odd combination that didn't sit well with him. It caused his mind to drift back to the decision that he still had to make about Damien's offer. Right now, it was a weighted scale between what he had to do and what he should do. Lucas' words weigh down heavily on one side of that fucked up scale.

"Yeah, I guess it is."

~x~

"Are you nervous?"

"Yes and no. I think I was more nervous about asking him than I am the actual date," Haley admitted as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. Brooke had straightened it for her and she wasn't quite used to it yet. Usually, she opted to go for the more natural route, letting her hair form its natural curls after she hopped out of the shower. But, Brooke had managed to convince her to do something different. Well, "begged" was probably a better word to describe Brooke's technique.

"Want to elaborate on that?" Peyton asked from her spot on Haley's bed.

Haley sighed as she turned away from the mirror and leaned back against her dresser. The butterflies in her stomach have yet to seize their flight and she was sure that her heart was going to beat out of her chest at any moment. Being _this_ nervous over a boy was definitely new territory for her. The way she felt about Nathan was a weird phenomenon. He made her nervous, but she'd never felt safer with anyone else.

"I'm not nervous because it's Nathan. I kind of know him, so I don't think there's going to be any of that awkward 'trying-to-get-to-know-you' type of conversations that really put a damper on first dates," Haley began to explain, her teeth scraping anxiously over her bottom lip. "But, the fact that things between us are in limbo is the part is making uneasy."

"Well, what do _you_ want you guys to be?" Brooke then asked as she rummaged through her make-up bag.

Haley remained quiet as she thought about Brooke's question. That was something that she hadn't thought extensively about, despite her worry about their status. It was like she was more concerned over trying to figure out what he wanted, rather than trying to figure out what she wanted. But now that she did think about it, the answer was clear to her.

"I want to be with him, in any way that he wants," She finally admitted. "I'm just not exactly sure what that means."

"That's the whole point of this little date I planned for the two of you," Brooke reminded her as she walked over to Haley, a blush compact in her one hand and a make-up brush in the other.

"You just gotta go straight for the kill," Peyton said with a giggle.

Haley sighed as she flinched at Brooke brushing the blush against her cheek. "That reminds me, what exactly did you plan for this date?"

"You'll see," Brooke murmured with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Brooke…," Haley warned with narrow eyes. "I'm not going to regret this, am I?"

"It's Brooke, so you might," Peyton joked.

"Hey!" Brooke protested with narrow eyes. "I put a lot of effort into this!"

"I'm sure you did," Haley said with a laugh. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask you, how are things with you and Julian?"

Brooke's smile faltered, but only for a moment. "They're…better. He still seems a little on edge, but I think he's just got a lot going on right now."

Haley opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by the sound of the doorbell echoing through the house. She glanced at the alarm clock on her bedside table and her eyes widened in shock. It was already eight. The butterflies in her stomach returned at full force.

"Oh, he's on time!" Brooke cheered as she clapped her hands together. She reached into her purse and pulled out a light pink envelope, before handing it to Haley. "Here are the instructions for the first part of your date."

"Instructions?" Haley's eyes widened even further. "I'm not sure I like the sound of that."

~x~

Nathan rocked nervously on the balls of his feet as he waited for Haley to open the front door. He pulled at the collar of the Lucas' light blue dress shirt that he was wearing. His nerves were still present and he felt ridiculous for that. His heart jumped in his throat when he heard the door unlock. The door swung open and suddenly, his nerves were gone.

She was dressed in a dark pair of jeans. The black sweater she was wearing was dressy, but no too over the top. Her hair was down and straight, her bangs pinned back by a small barrette. Her eyes were dusted with a small amount of brown eye shadow, her eyes rimmed with a thin coat of eyeliner. She was absolutely stunning.

Haley smiled at him, her eyes trailing over the light blue shirt and the black pants he was wearing. The color of the shirt brought his eyes and if she wasn't mistaken, there was actually gel in his hair. He always looked good, but something about him being dressed nicely really got to her.

"So, we're really doing this, huh?" Haley said softly with a small laugh.

Nathan nodded with a small smile. "We are. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes," Haley mumbled as she walked out of her house, the card Brooke gave her clutched in her hand. "Apparently, Brooke set up this whole serial date thing for us. One card leads to the next."

Nathan chuckled as they walked towards his car. "This is basically one giant scavenger hunt?"

"Yeah, basically," Haley laughed. "We don't have to follow it, if you don't want to."

"It could be fun." Nathan said as he shook his head. He opened the passenger side door of his car for her before walking to the driver's side and sliding in. "What does the first card say?"

"Go to the ice cream parlor on the south end of the Market Street Dock and find your next envelope. On the way, tell three things that you like about each other," Haley read off the card. Her cheeks felt warm as she thought of how she would answer. Of course, Brooke would make things embarrassing.

Nathan smirked as he began to drive. "This should be interesting. Who goes first?"

"You," Haley asserted. She had to admit, she was kind of anxious to hear his answers.

Nathan stayed quiet for a couple of moments as he thought over how to answer that. "You're the most patient person I know. I've pushed you away a lot and I've thrown a lot of mixed signals your way, but you haven't given up on me. I really appreciate that."

Haley smiled at him. "Patience is one of my many virtues."

Nathan chuckled before turning serious. "I also like your strength. You've been through things that would cripple most people, me being one of them. I wish I could be even one percent as strong as you are."

"Nathan…," Haley said softly. "You're a lot stronger than what you give yourself credit for."

"I don't know about that," Nathan muttered quietly, his grip tightening on the wheel. In his eyes, he was the furthest thing from being strong.

"You are," She reassured. "Everyone deals with trauma differently and the fact that you haven't given up yet shows a lot more strength than you think."

For what felt like the millionth time in such a short amount of time, he was left in awe by the girl sitting next to him. It was crazy how easily she made him believe in himself. All it took was a few simple words and suddenly, everything had meaning again. "That's the third thing that I like about you—your kind heart."

"I get that from my dad," Haley declared. "He was always the person that went above and beyond for others."

"Now, it's your turn," Nathan challenged. He glanced out the window to see that they were almost near the ice cream shop.

"Let's see, I like the fact that you let me in past all the bluster you give everyone else," She stated.

"That should make you feel special," Nathan joked. "I don't let anyone in."

"It does," Haley promised. "I also like the loyalty to you have to your family. I can tell that you really care about Lucas and that you would do anything for him."

"I would," Nathan murmured. "Family has always been important to me."

"And lastly, I also like how strong you are, even if you don't believe in the strength you have."

Nathan smiled appreciatively as he pulled into the parking lot for the ice cream parlor. Shutting the car off, they quickly exited. Walking inside, they were surprised to see that the place was completely empty.

"Where do you think the next card is?" Haley pondered.

"You're Nathan Scott, right?" The cashier behind the counter asked, almost as if on cue.

Nathan nodded. "Uh, yeah, why?"

The cashier turned away for a quick moment before returning with another envelope. "Brooke Davis left this for you."

"I guess that answers that question," Haley said with a giggle.

Nathan grabbed the envelope from the cashier before tearing it open. Pulling the card out, he began to read. "Order your favorite ice cream for the other person. When you're done, walk to the bridge underneath the cherry trees. It's the most notorious make out spot in town…I think you know where I'm going with this."

Haley's cheeks flared up at that. "Oh, God."

Nathan laughed at her embarrassed expression. He decided against teasing her. "Is there any chance that you favorite ice cream is rocky road?"

Haley's nose scrunched up. "Yeah, we have a lot of that at my house, so no. It's mint chocolate chip."

Nathan sighed as he turned the cashier. "I guess I'll take a cup of mint chocolate chip."

~x~

His lips melted over hers feverishly. One of his hands were planted on her waist, while the other one was buried in her hair. She could still taste the hint of mint and chocolate on his slightly chilled lips. She matched his pace, both of her hands gripping onto the collar of his shirt. How they ended up making out on this secluded bench that one of Brooke's cards led them to was a little hazy to Haley. One minute, they were talking and then the next, Nathan was pulling her in. She wasn't complaining, though. Kissing him was becoming her version of heroin.

There could have been a chance that Nathan was just following Brooke's instructions that she left for them, but with the way his eyes seemed to darken as he looked at her…Haley wasn't certain that was the sole reason.

She gasped when Nathan kissed the side of her mouth, his lips trailing along the angle of her jaw. Her hands tangled themselves in the strands of his hair, holding his mouth to her skin as he kissed down her neck. Her head felt airy, the Nathan filled haze quickly came over her. She completely lost herself in his ministrations.

Nathan couldn't get enough of her. The taste of her lips,which were also still cool and chocolate-y, and her skin were intoxicating. He didn't know what had come over him. Maybe it was the way the moonlight was hitting her face or maybe it was the close proximity of their bodies, but suddenly being near her felt like sweet torture. The desire to kiss her had been too powerful to ignore.

"Nathan," She called out when his lips grazed over a sensitive spot on her neck. His grip on her tightened further. Haley knew that she had to stop him soon. They were sitting on a bench, albeit the bench was in a secluded area, but anyone could see them. Besides, as good as he felt, it also felt wrong. The whole purpose of this date was for her to figure out what they were and she had yet to do that. If all this was to him was sex or a friends with benefits kind of thing, that wasn't enough for her.

"Nathan," She tried again. Her voice was firmer, but still breathless. When he still didn't respond, she dropped one of her hands to grip his arm, giving it a firm squeeze.

Nathan halted his movements when he felt Haley squeeze his arm. Forcing himself away from her, he met her gaze. Her eyes were wild with emotion, her cheeks tinted with color. He swallowed hard as he tried to catch his own breathe. His first thought was that maybe he had crossed a line. "Did I do something wrong?"

A small smile tugged at her lips. His eyes were dark, but in the midst of the desire, she also found concern. She took a calming breath before answering his question with a question of her own. "What is all this?"

His forehead creased. "What is all what?"

"This," She motioned between the two of them. Her nerves were back. She hadn't meant to be so forward with him. Her thoughts were flowing out of her like someone had opened the flood gates. "The kissing, the sweet words…everything. I know I said was going to patient and I am, but…I don't know."

Nathan was breathing hard as he listened to her talk. He'd be lying if he said that he hadn't seen this conversation coming. He wasn't oblivious. There was something between them and obviously, Haley was going to want answers eventually.

"I'm sorry," He mumbled lamely. "I'm not being fair to you."

Haley shook her head dismissively. "That's not it. I know that you said you couldn't give me anything and I know that you don't like to…feel. I'm not trying to be insensitive to any of those things and I'm not trying to push you. I just…I want to know what I'm getting myself into."

The conversation he had with Lucas earlier was the first thing that came to his mind. _Don't think too much about it._ _Go after what you want._

He changed his position on the bench so that he was facing her directly. He took one of her hands in his and ran the pad of his thumb against her knuckles. "Hales, I _can't_ promise you much of anything. But—"

"Do you want to be with me?" She cut him off. She surprised herself with the sudden boldness of her question.

He swallowed hard. "Yes." That was the easiest question he ever had to answer.

At this point, Haley's heart was pounding erratically. "I want to be with you, too. Whatever that means, whether that means your friend or…your girlfriend."

"I don't think I could handle just being your friend," Nathan said honestly. "So, I guess that just leaves you as my girlfriend."

Haley's heart fluttered at that. "Really?"

Nathan nodded, a childlike smile spreading across his face.

~x~

"You know, I've never had a girlfriend," Nathan admitted, breaking the comfortable silence that had formed between them. They were now walking along the dock. Brooke's next card had instructed them to take a stroll along the dock, their next card was supposed to be waiting for them where the dock ended.

"Really?" Haley pondered. She'd heard from a few people that Nathan never really dated anyone before, but she wasn't sure if she ever believed them. It seemed kind of impossible. But, hearing the confirmation from Nathan shocked her a little bit.

He glanced over at Haley and smirked at her wide eyes. "You sound surprised."

"No," Haley quickly spit out, before backtracking. "Well, kind of. It's just you're so…you."

Nathan raised an eyebrow at her, the amusement dancing in his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Haley could already feel her cheeks reddening at the words she was about to say. "You're so… _attractive_. I figured you would have girls throwing themselves at you and I figured at least one of them would have caught your eye."

Nathan tossed his head back as a genuine laugh escaped him. "Oh, girls definitely threw themselves at me." He smiled when Haley rolled her eyes. "But, I was never interested in anything serious. And then after my parents died, I kind of just shut my feelings off. I didn't want to feel anything but pain, I guess. I was like that until…"

"Until what?" Haley prodded when he trailed off.

Nathan met her eyes as the word slipped off of his tongue. "You."

A shiver ran down Haley's spine from the look in Nathan's eyes and from what he had just admitted. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that out of so many girls begging for his attention, she ended up being the one he broke down his walls for. She wasn't anything special, in her opinion. But she was grateful that it was her.

"So what about you? Any boyfriends?" Nathan asked after clearing his throat.

Haley slid her hands in the back pocket of her jeans as she shrugged. "Kind of. I 'dated' this boy in seventh grade for a few months. But it was one of those things where dating someone meant sitting next to each other at lunch and walking each other to class. I ended up breaking up with him by passing him a note during history class."

Nathan laughed, smirking. "I never pegged you to be the heartbreaking type."

"That wasn't one of my finer moments," Haley giggled. "Then, I dated this guy for about six months my freshman year when I lived in Seattle. But we ended up breaking up because I was moving, yet again."

"Were you guys serious?" Nathan found himself asking. There was a pang in his stomach at the thought of Haley moving and at the thought of her being serious with another guy.

Haley shook her head. "No, not at all. It was yet another juvenile relationship."

Nathan nodded as he pursed his lips. "So, do you move often?"

"Almost every year," Haley murmured, the sadness clearly evident. "My mom is a travel agent. Every year, they offer her a promotion and ever year, she takes it. When my dad was alive, he used to love to travel, so she always took the promotion for him. Now that he's gone, I think she still takes them to honor him and to fill the void, I guess."

Her answer didn't still well with him. It caused his stomach to knot up with dread and he almost choked on his next words. The thought of her leaving…it caused a surge of panic. "I take it that you're not a fan of the constant moving?"

"I'm not a fan of it, but I'm not opposed to it either, I guess," She stated quietly. She brought her hands together and started twisting her fingers together. Haley never really talked much about her feelings about moving, mostly because she never wanted to upset her mother. But the words seemed to spill out of her without a moment's hesitation.

"The part of it that sucks the most is knowing that I shouldn't get too comfortable in one place. I've never really felt at home. However, I do like to travel, so it's cool that I get to see so many different parts of the US, parts that I probably wouldn't see otherwise."

Nathan noticed that her hands had dropped to her sides. Gently, he trailed his fingers down the length of her arm, until his fingers met hers. Lacing them together, he squeezed her hand gently. The strain in her voice put a strain on his heart. He smiled softly when he noticed her cheeks flush at his action.

"How do you feel about Tree Hill?"

The smile on her face grew as the tingles in her arm spread through the rest of her body. "I love it here. Whenever I pictured a place that I could call home, it was always a small town where everyone knew everyone and people said 'hi' to strangers on the streets. I feel like I could call this place home and mean it."

Nathan smiled. "So, do you think you'll still be here at the end of the school year, then?" He didn't even try to mask the hope in his voice.

Haley shrugged. "I guess it depends on where I end up going to college."

"Where are you thinking?" Hearing her talk was starting to get addicting. The desire to know everything and anything about her was burning high. He still found himself bracing for her answer, however.

"I'm not entirely sure. I've started filling out a few applications, but I haven't sent anything in yet. Duke and Stanford are my top two, as of now, though," Haley rattled off. She was so nonchalant about it, it took Nathan by surprise.

"Those are both really good schools, from what I've heard," Nathan murmured. "Have you figured out what you want to study yet?"

Haley smiled warily. "I'm still torn between education and photography. One is obviously a more stable career."

"You should probably go for the one that you think would make you the happiest. There's no sense in putting time and effort into something that you're going to end up regretting," Nathan pointed out. "At least, that's what my dad used to say all the time."

"I think I could be really happy doing either of those things," Haley said with a smile. They slowed down their walking as they reached the end of the dock. "What about you? Do you have any future plans?"

Nathan tensed as he leaned against the wooden fence, his hand dropping hers. The fact that she had somewhat of a plan for her future and he didn't was just another reminder of how different they were. "Honestly, I've never given it much thought."

"Not even a little bit?"

"Maybe when I was younger," Nathan answered with a shrug. For the longest time, the future wasn't a concern for Nathan. Truth be told, he didn't think he'd have a future. His life had become so consumed by bad choices and misery that he figured he'd be dead before he needed to think about a future. It wasn't until he met Haley did he start to wonder about the rest of his life. "Plus, with my grades? I don't even think the community college would take me."

Haley scooted closer to him and gingerly placed her hand on his arm, while leaning her head against his shoulder. "There has to be something out there that you want for yourself. You've just got to find that one thing that makes your heart beat a little faster and your world seem a little brighter

Nathan placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed it gently. Her soft words and warm touch quickly resonated through his entire body. The first thing that came to his mind was basketball. It was the one thing that he felt he was good. It was also the one thing that made his heart beat a little faster and his world seem a little brighter, apart from Haley, that is.

"And if you're worried about your grades," She continued on. "I could always tutor you."

He looked over at her, his eyes locking with hers. "You would do that for me?"

She nodded, a small smile etching her features. "I would."

His heart was beating wildly in his chest. It constantly amazed him how caring and selfless Haley was. She was everything good in his life and he wasn't sure what he had done to be worthy of her, but he was going to take full advantage of it. He was done denying himself the truth. He was falling for her, hard and fast.

The soft melody of band playing a couple of hundred feet away from them caught his attention. He glanced over at them to see a small and secluded stage set up. A couple of strands of white lights were dangling from the trees and from where he was standing, it looked like a couple of people were dancing. He looked over at Haley and grabbed her hand again.

"Would my girlfriend like to dance?"

A chill ran down Haley's spine. It felt…different for Nathan to be calling her his girlfriend, but she loved the way it sounded. She knew things weren't going to be easy for them. There were still a lot of things that she didn't know about him and he still had a dark past that she hadn't gotten a glimpse of yet, but she meant what she said—she wasn't going anywhere.

"I thought you didn't have any experience with romance?" Haley teased as he took her hand.

"I don't, I just saw this in a movie once and figured I'd try it," Nathan said with a nonchalant shrug.

Haley giggled as he led over to where the band was playing. A shiver ran down her spine when he pulled her close, one arm resting snugly around her waist and the other holding her hand against his chest. Her free hand rested on his shoulder. "What about the other cards Brooke has planned for us?"

"They can wait," Nathan shrugged. "I have to warn you though, I'm a terrible dancer."

"I'm sure you're not that bad," Haley murmured as they started to sway to the soft music.

Nathan chuckled. A comfortable silence formed between them as they continued to sway. He found himself unable to look away from her. The soft white lights were shining back at him through her warm eyes. Her long blonde hair looked even more golden, a few of the strands were hanging in her face. As cheesy as it sounded, she took his breath away. Every single detail about her was…perfect.

He realized now that he never stood a chance. Trying to push her away and trying to ignore the way he felt about her was the dumbest thing he could have ever done. It was pointless, because in the end, his feelings were much stronger than the desire to close himself off. There was still danger and there were still things that were so uncertain, but none of those things had control over him anymore.

It felt good to let go of all that pain he was feeling, even if it was only for a little while. It wasn't him, but that's exactly why he liked it.

"What?" Haley asked a few moments later, her cheeks flushing at the intense way he was looking at her. His blue eyes seemed almost midnight blue, his forehead creased in concentration. Her heart skipped a beat. She could feel her entire body heating up, from the top of her head to her toes. The butterflies in her stomach had taken flight again.

Nathan dropped her hand to reach up and tuck the strayed hair behind her hair. He smiled when she leaned into his touch. How could someone small bring out such strong emotions in him? "You're beautiful, you know that?"

Haley's blush deepened. "I never pegged you as the type to be such a charmer."

Nathan smirked at her as he suddenly twirled her around, before dipping her. His smirk melted into a smile when she squealed and laughed.

"I thought you said you couldn't dance," Haley breathed out once she was standing upright, her hands gripping on to both of his shoulders.

"I can't," He reassured. "I saw that in a movie, too."

Haley's hands moved upwards so that he arms were wrapped around his neck and his hands fell to rest on her waist. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile so much before."

"I have you to thank for that," He said lowly as he dropped his head. His forehead was resting against hers. His expression fell serious after a few moments. "I'm trying my hardest, Hales."

"I know you are," She whispered. "And like I said, I'm not going anywhere."

His lips curled up before he pressed them softly against hers. The kiss was soft and slow, yet full of passion. It felt almost like a physical promise. A shiver ran down his spine when Haley sighed into the kiss, her arms tightening around his neck as she kissed him deeper. After a few seconds, Haley pulled away.

It was a moment of clarity for him. Deep down, he knew what he had to do and he was already leaning towards that notion, he just wasn't ready to admit it. But, looking at Haley now, that breathtaking smile on her face, her lips slightly swollen from their previous kiss, and the bright gleam in her eyes, he realized that he would do anything and everything for her. She flipped his life upside down in the best way possible. He never thought it would feel so good to _feel_ again, to see a life that wasn't dark in color.

He was still terrified. He still had his doubts. He still had those voices screaming at him that he was making a mistake—with her and with everything else. But it was the best damn mistake that he ever made.

~x~

Nathan's jaw was locked, his lips pressed together in a hard line. Every muscle in his body was tense. His eyes were watering from the smell of the smoke and he could feel eyes watching his every move. He ignored them. He was already teetering on the edge of insanity, the last thing he needed was one of Damien's minions trying to antagonize him.

When he reached the door to Damien's office, he paused. He still had time to walk away. Surprisingly, he didn't want to. He had never been surer of anything in his life. One thought of Haley and one thought of that piece of metal he found in that box of stuff was all he needed. This was his chance to finally find some kind of peace and he would be a fool if he didn't take it.

Raising his fist, he knocked twice on the wooden door. His heart was a pounding mess as he waited.

"Come in, but make it quick." Damien's voice was muffled by the close door.

Taking a reassuring breath, Nathan pushed the door open. He scowled at the sickeningly sweet smile on Damien's face. His feet were propped up on the desk and his hands were behind his head.

"You are few days shy of your deadline, Scott. You're running out of time."

Nathan swallowed thickly. "I know. That's exactly why I'm here."

"So, you have answer for me, then, I take it?"

Nathan nodded. He licked his lips and straightened his posture. "I'm in."


	12. Chapter 12

To those who are wondering how many chapters this is going to be, right now, I have it planned to be about 30. Unlike Razor Sharp, I haven't had the chance to write ahead in this story yet, so things might change. I might decided to add or delete things or combine different parts of different chapters. But as of now, 30 chapters. I'll keep you guys updated! Speaking of writing, I actually started planning out another story. It's kind of a side project for right now because my main focus is finishing this one. I'm not planning on posting that story until I'm done with this one/further into that one. Prewriting stories make things so much less stressful.

I hope y'all enjoy this chapter! It's kind of filler-y. I don't want to say it's a legit filler chapter because some important things do happen, but it's not exactly as action packed as other chapters, if that makes any sense, lol.

P.S I posted this in a rush and only skimmed over it. I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors.

* * *

Everyone was staring at her and by everyone, she meant everyone. She felt like she was locked in a glass cage at a zoo and she was the new exhibit that people spent an extra fifteen dollars to see. Everywhere she looked, she was met with another pair of prodding eyes. She opted for keeping her head down and for walking, but not before looking over her outfit. She didn't forget to put pants on this morning or something, did she?

Haley successfully made it through the courtyard without making eye contact with one of her new…admirers. All of this unwarranted attention was starting to make her nervous. She was never a big fan of crowds or attention. Her stomach was already starting to feel queasy. Once her locker came in sight, she felt a slight moment of reprieve. That reprieve strengthened when she noticed Brooke and Peyton already waiting for her.

"What in the world is going on?" She hissed when she approached her locker. Her eyebrows furrowed in aggravation and confusion when her friends started to snicker.

"It's nothing serious," Peyton assured her. "It's just, well—"

"The female population at Tree Hill High basically hates your guts right about now," Brooke finished for her.

Haley's eyes widened in terror and in shock. "What? Why?"

Brooke waved her hands in a nonchalant manner. "Because you, my hot friend, are the reason Nathan Scott is no longer on the market. Not that those bimbos had any chance with Nathan to begin with, considering he was so anti-dating, but now you have really screwed their chances."

"Brooke!" Haley half-whispered, half-yelled. "I thought I told you not to tell anyone!"

After her date with Nathan, Brooke and Peyton had practically held her down until she told them every single detail of what happened. After admitting to them that her and Nathan were officially together—and after Brooke got all of her squeals out—Haley made them promise that they weren't going to spread it around. She liked the fact that things were pretty low-key between them and she hated gossip, but apparently that was all shot to hell now.

"Oh, we didn't say anything," Peyton said as she motioned between her and Brooke. "Apparently, someone saw the two of you dancing and kissing on the riverfront. Whoever that person was wasted no time telling everyone."

Haley's face flamed up as she rested her head against her locker. The cool metal felt refreshing against her heated skin. A groan of discomfort escaped her lips. "That's just great."

"Look, Tutor Girl, it's not that big of a deal," Brooke tried to soothe. "People were eventually going to find out about the two of you anyway. Give it a few days and people will find something else to obsess over."

"How can you be so sure?" Haley mumbled.

"Because I've been there. It was like this when Julian and I started dating. It wasn't as extreme, but it happened," Brooke explained. "Within in a week, everyone had forgotten."

"I take back everything I ever said about wanting to live in a small town."

~x~

"Who knew that you and Haley would be the new—what did Brooke say that one celebrity couple's name was? Brangelina? Yeah that's it—Brangelina of Tree Hill High?" Jake joked as Lucas and Nathan made their way into school.

Nathan shook his head as he rolled his eyes. He had a feeling something like this was going to happen. Tree Hill…it was a gossip town. The fact that it was such a small and close-knit community was most likely the reason for that. He wasn't fazed much by the gossip. Hell, at this point, he was used it. He was the center of all the gossip when he made varsity, when he was cut from the team, when he started hanging out with Damien, and then again after his parents died. It was background noise to him now.

However, he knew that being the center of everyone's gossip was foreign to Haley. He was anxious to find her and make sure she was okay.

"See, this is exactly why I didn't want to tell you guys about Haley and me," Nathan murmured, his tone light and playful. "You guys just don't know when to quit with the jokes."

"Okay, but in our defense," Lucas began. "We knew that you had feelings for Haley and we knew something was going on between the two of you. Your stubborn ass just wouldn't admit it. So, excuse us for feeling a little victorious right about now."

Nathan shook his head, but the smile still remained on his face. "I wouldn't get too excited just yet. It's only been about seventy-two hours. I still have plenty of time to fuck something up."

The hint of sorrow and bitterness in Nathan's tone didn't go unnoticed by Lucas or Jake. Nathan did seem almost completely happy the last few days, which was kind of hard to get used to. There was less pain and fury in his eyes. His face had a little more color to it and he was smiling a lot more. However, there was still something off about him. He seemed jumpier than usual and he constantly looked like he was fretting about something.

"Is there something bothering you?" Lucas asked as they walked through the front doors of the school. He was used to Nathan brushing off his questions of concern, but that didn't stop him from asking them.

"No, I'm fine," Nathan quickly responded.

He knew that he had to tell them about Damien eventually. In fact, he had spent most of the weekend trying to figure out how he was going to tell them. They were going to be pissed. Actually, pissed was too nice of a word, they were going to be livid. Nathan already knew they were going to try and talk him out of it. He thought about not telling them, but quickly realized that wasn't a smart idea. If something went wrong…he needed someone in his corner.

"You sure?" Jake spoke up.

"We'll talk later," Nathan mumbled forcefully, signaling the end of that conversation.

"Someone's anxious to see their girl," Jake said in a sing-song voice, causing Lucas to laugh.

"And you guys wonder why I don't ever tell you anything," Nathan grumbled as the turned the corner and began to walk down the hallway their lockers were in. His eyes immediately found Haley. He frowned when he saw that she looked distressed and uncomfortable.

"Well, if it isn't lover boy," Peyton teased Nathan approached the girls, Jake and Lucas trailing not far behind him.

Nathan narrowed his eyes and scrunched his face up before turning his attention Haley. "You alright?"

Haley smiled weakly at him. "Yeah, I am now."

"This is kind of…weird," Lucas pointed out. "All of us 'hanging' out in public."

Brooke shrugged. "I don't mind making new friends or repairing old friendships." Her eyes cut to Jake, who smiled. "But, we should get going. The bells about to ring."

When Brooke started to head towards her first class of the day, she met up with Julian. She bit her bottom lip when she saw the angry expression on his face. She was aware of the fact that Julian wasn't happy with the new development between Nathan and Haley. She still didn't understand his hostility and every time she asked, he changed the subject or ignored her question altogether. It was really starting to get on her nerves.

"They're happy, Julian," Brooke said lowly as she grabbed his hand. "Can't you just let that be?"

"After all the pain he's put my family through, no, I can't," Julian gritted out. His eyes remained forward and he refused to even look in Nathan's direction.

"Julian…"

"Just drop it, Brooke."

Meanwhile, Nathan and Haley were having their own issues as they were walking to class. Nathan, following his natural instincts, had grabbed Haley's hand. The whispers and murmurs through the hallway seemed to increase at that affectionate action. Take back feeling like a zoo exhibit, Haley now felt like she was in a fish bowl.

"Nathan," She squeaked. "Everyone's staring."

Nathan took a quick glance around the hallway and sure enough, all eyes were on them. He hadn't really noticed, because again, he was used to it. He felt how tense Haley was and he did the first thing that came to his mind. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned to face Haley. He smirked when she looked up at him with questioning eyes.

"What are you doing?" She asked, her voice coming out a little puffy.

He dropped her hand only to wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her against him. His smirk widened when she gasped. "Then, why don't we give them a show?"

"Nathan—" She was cut off by the feel of his lips on hers. The kiss was slow, but meaningful. Instantly, she brought her hands up to grip his shoulders.

Haley never thought she was would care much for PDA. Maybe hand holding and a few kisses here and there would be okay. But the thought of making out with her boyfriend in front of a crowd full of people felt a little…not in her comfort zone. However, from the second Nathan kissed her, everything seemed to melt away. All of the people whispering about them and staring at them were suddenly gone. She lost all sense of time and place. Nathan was the only thing she had clear focus of.

"Oh, yuck!" Lucas grimaced.

"Gross, I think I just saw Nathan's tongue," Jake blurted out with disgust.

"Why did we want them together, again?" Peyton asked while shielding her eyes.

Nathan pulled away from Haley, laughing. Haley, whose face was a red as a tomato, buried her face in Nathan's chest. She used his jacket to make sure she was hidden. She couldn't believe she'd actually let Nathan kiss her like that…in front of everyone! Boy, was she in trouble.

~x~

Haley sighed tiredly as she dropped her backpack on the ground by her front door. Today was exhausting, to say the least. After a while, she figured out how to tune out the staring and the whispers. However, that didn't stop girls from coming up to her and saying "oh my god! Is it true that you and Nathan Scott are dating? How did you manage that? I've been trying to get with him for _soooo_ long." The dirty looks that a few girls shot her way were also a little disheartening.

She felt better with Nathan and all of their friends by her side. It was kind of odd to see everyone hanging out with each other now. It's not like they were all instantly the best of friends, but at least everyone was cordial with one another. It felt like things were falling in place…the beginning of something good. Great, even.

It amazed her how much her life had changed over the last month, plus a couple of days. From the moment that the moving trucks had pulled into Tree Hill, she knew that it was a special place. She didn't want to think about the logistics of everything, like the fact that her boyfriend had a torrid past or the fact that she still wasn't sure what was doing on with her tutoring Damien. She was supposed to start tutoring him last week, but he never showed. Whenever she asked Nathan about it, he just said he was taking care of it. That concerned her, but she wasn't going to think about it, not when she was as happy as she was.

Her euphoria was short lived, however. She could vaguely hear the sound of someone crying coming for her kitchen. Haley furrowed her eyebrows as she began to walk towards the sound. "Mom?"

Haley's heart broken when she saw him mom sitting at the kitchen table, her head in her hands, and her should shaking with the intensity of her cries. When she took a step forward, she realized that her mom's suitcase was packed and sitting next to her. In front of Lydia was a picture, but Haley couldn't tell what the picture was from where she was standing.

"Mom?" She called out again.

This time, Lydia did look up. As soon as she saw Haley standing there, she quickly wiped the tears from under her eyes and the tear tracks from her cheeks. "Oh, Haley, sweetie, I didn't hear you come in."

"Is everything okay? Why do you have a bag packed?" Haley asked shakily.

"Business trip," Lydia responded curtly as she stood up from the table. Her eyes were puffy and a few tears were still falling from her eyes. "The company is sending me to New York for a sponsorship meeting."

Haley's heart sank. "How long will you be gone?"

"About two weeks."

"Two weeks?" Haley asked with wide eyes, flabbergasted. "Isn't that kind of a long time for a business trip?"

Lydia shrugged, brushing by Haley to grab her suitcase. "They're also sending me to Chicago after New York. One week in each place."

"But, Thanksgiving's next week. We always do something special since it was Dad's favorite and—"

"Well, we'll just have to celebrate when I get back," Lydia muttered. Her demeanor suggested that she thought Haley was overreacting and it caused Haley to tense up.

"It won't be the same," She mumbled lowly.

Haley was used to her mom's mood swings, but this…this she couldn't handle. Moments before, Haley caught her crying, now her expression was stoic. Thanksgiving was always her Dad's favorite holiday, probably because he could eat as much food as he wanted without getting yelled at. The fact that her mom was willing to give up a tradition that they'd made in his honor didn't sit well with her.

Lydia sighed as she swung her purse over shoulder. "Traditions change, honey. Now, look, I've got to be getting to the airport."

Haley felt her temper flare up at that. "Why were you crying a few minutes before?"

"I wasn't," Lydia quickly denied.

Haley shook her head in disbelief. "Yes, you were. I saw and heard you."

"It was nothing."

Haley wasn't sure why, but she cracked in that moment. Maybe it was because her mom had just dropped the bombshell on her that she was leaving. Maybe it was because she was actually over the moon happy for once and of course her mom had to ruin it. Whatever it was, she couldn't stop the words from flowing out of her mouth even if she tried.

"Do you think I'm blind? Do you think I can't handle it? Denying the fact that you were drinking or crying doesn't magically erase it from my memory. I see you, Mom. I see the empty bottles and I see the soiled tissues. Why can't you just be honest with me?"

"I'm not talking about this with you right now," Lydia declared, never once looking in Haley's direction as she got the rest of her things ready.

"You rarely ever want to talk about it!" Haley shot back.

"Maybe you should get the hint then, Haley," Lydia said coolly as she started to head towards the front door. "I love you, kid, but you're driving me crazy. I'll see you in two weeks."

The front door slammed shut and all Haley could do was stand there. Another day with Lydia James, another heartache for Haley James.

~x~

Nathan felt like he couldn't breathe. The cloud of cigarette smoke surround him was so thick he could barely see two feet in front of him. The smell caused his throat to burn and his chest to feel tight. He'd forgotten just how much he hated cigarette smoke. He'd done a lot of stupid things when he was with Damien, but never once did he pick up a cigarette. Although, in comparison, smoking a cigarette would be considered nothing to things he's done.

He couldn't believe that he was actually back in that pool house. It felt like he had stepped through a time machine and it had brought him back to the worst part of his life, only now, he was a completely different person. However, that didn't stop the memories from hitting him full force. All the times he got so drunk that he could barely remember his own name or all of the times he let Damien convince him to take some tainted drug that ended up having scary side effects.

It all felt like a lifetime ago, yet it was still so fresh that it physically hurt to breathe. This time was different, though. He wasn't reckless like he was all those years ago. This time joining Damien wasn't a moment of weakness, it was a moment of hope and finally finding the strength that he desperately needed to fight off every demon that had haunted him for the last few years. \

He just had to find a way to get into Damien's "office" without being seen or caught. All of the answers he needed were in that room. His freedom was in that room.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and a wave of guilt came over him when he saw Lucas' name flash across the screen. When Damien had first told him to stop by, Nathan was tempted to say no. He quickly realized that if he wanted Damien to believe that he was loyal, he couldn't say no. Getting around Lucas, however, was another challenge. He was a coward, he knew that. He eventually had to come clean with Lucas and with Jake, but he wasn't sure how.

So, when Lucas asked where he was headed, he said that he needed to go for a walk to clear his head. It wasn't hard to convince him, considering going for a walk was something Nathan did often. It made him sick, but it was what he had to do.

"You should be happy to know that I am no longer enrolled at Tree Hill High and your precious Haley is no longer my tutor," Damien said with a smirk as he plopped down on the couch across from Nathan, a beer in his hand.

Nathan's eyes narrowed as he felt a surge of anger run through him. "So, that whole entire thing really was just your way of fucking with me."

Damien shrugged, leaning back so that his arm was resting on the back of the couch. "Maybe, maybe not."

"You're unbelievable," Nathan muttered under his breath. He knew from the beginning that nothing Damien ever did was a "coincidence", but getting confirmation made his blood boil.

"What exactly is going on between you and Haley anyway?" Damien asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Is this something serious or is she just another one of your conquests? I bet she is just another one of your conquests. You were always good at getting the pure and innocent ones to fall for your charm."

"Why do I need to give you any of the gory details? It sounds like you've got me all figured out," Nathan stated, forcing himself to smirk and to seem genuine. The less Damien knew about the nature of his relationship with Haley, the less ammunition Damien had against him.

Damien smiled. There was never anything genuine about his smile. There was always this underlying sinister quality to it. "You forget that I am the one who knows you the best."

"Why exactly did you want me back in your little group anyway? It seems like you have plenty of 'friends' to go around," Nathan muttered, choosing to ignore his last comment.

"That's for me to know and for you to dot, dot, dot," Damien said with a snicker.

Nathan rolled his eyes. Being around Damien felt like he was walking on eggshells, emotionally. He wanted nothing more than just to beat his face in. "After all these years, you're still as ridiculous as ever.

"I don't know you chose to hurt me like this," Damien said, feign hurt. He placed his hand over his heart. "After everything I've done for you…"

"After everything you've done for me? I think you mean everything that you've done _to_ me," Nathan spat back. He was slowly creeping towards losing control and he had to force himself to reign his anger back in. He couldn't afford pissing off Damien again.

"Oh, I think the good weighs out the bad. I forgave you of your debt and I'm letting you have Haley,"

Nathan scoffed at that. "Because manipulating someone into doing something that they don't want to do is such an honorable move."

Damien opened his mouth to respond but stopped when Tim plopped his body down next to Nathan. They shared a smirk before Tim placed a hand on Nathan's shoulder, squeezing it hard.

"What kind of newbie hazing do we have planned for Scott here, huh boss?" Tim asked, his hand clamping down even hard on Nathan's shoulder. His eyes never once left Nathan.

A slow and sinister smile spread across Damien's face. "Nothing…for now, Tim. It's his first day back. Right now, it's a celebration. Someone get him a beer."

Nathan swallowed hard. The urge to just bolt out of there was strong. It didn't take long for Tim to thrust that beer in his hand. He was no stranger to alcohol, but somehow engaging in an activity that Damien had suggested felt…wrong. With all eyes on him, he popped off the cap and took the tiniest sip he could possible. He quickly noticed that beer tasted bitterer than usual and even a little sour. It wasn't the beer though, it was him.

"Are we sure that we can trust this fool?" Bear asked as he walked up to them, his eyes narrow and full of disdain towards Nathan.

Damien laughed a humorless laugh. "Of course we can. Besides, Nathan already knows what the consequences of crossing me are."

Nathan's temper flared at that. This was going to be a long night.

"Come on, let's go play some beer pong."

~x~

His mind was racing as he walked up the stairs leading up to his apartment. He wished he could jump out of his own skin. Being back in that pool house with all of those people that he used to call friends…it took almost everything out of him. He knew it was going to be hard. Memories, all of which were of the bad variety, plagued his mind from the moment he walked in. His anxiety was high and his comfort meter was pretty much pegged.

He continued to remind himself that there was a purpose for him being there. He didn't have to become the person he used to be and he wasn't going to. His sole purpose was to find a way to connect that piece of metal with Damien's marking on it to Damien and the fire at his house. It was dangerous, but he had to do it.

As soon as Damien handed him that beer, he knew he had to find a way to get out of there. When he wasn't looking, Nathan was able to dump the beer out and dispose of the can without him noticing. It didn't come as a shock to him that Damien mentioned absolutely nothing about his drug ring or anything along those lines. It was going to take some time before Damien trusted him with that again.

But right now, the only thing on his mind was Haley, which was why he texted her to come over. She was his calm and right now, calm is what he needed. His body craved the warmth that accompanied her, the sense of home and care that he was lacking. With her, he could be free.

As quickly as he could, he made his way inside of his apartment. Tossing his car keys on the kitchen counter, he pulled off his leather jacket and threw it over the back of the couch. The apartment was quiet and empty, but he knew Haley was already there. He could sense her. Most people would probably find something like that unnerving, but he didn't.

He walked to the back of his apartment and he instantly felt a million times better when he saw Haley sitting in the middle of his bed. She was dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a light blue v-neck, her hair a curly mess. From the looks of it, she was flipping through some sports magazine he had left on his bed side table. His heart was hammering in his chest. He felt better, but he needed more.

She looked up at the sound of him entering his room, her beautiful smile illuminating her face. He could vaguely hear her say something about how Lucas let her in and he left to go somewhere. There was only one thing on his mind and what Lucas was doing wasn't it. Crawling on to his bed, he grabbed the magazine out of her hand and threw it to the side. He ignored her questioning gaze as he cupped her face in his hands. Within seconds, he had her flat on her back and he was kissing the lights out of her.

Haley was surprised, to say the least, at Nathan's sudden and forceful actions. He was kissing her like he was a dying man in need of water. The intensity behind it took her breath away and caused her skin to heat up. She could feel the desperation and need in the frantic way he was kissing her, his lips forceful yet passionately soft. His hands were everywhere, trailing up and down the sides of her body.

She buried her fingers in the strands of his thick hair as he gripped on to her waist tightly, pulling her body flush against his. He then trailed his one hand over her hip and down her thigh, hoisting her leg over his hip. She gasped into the kiss when she felt him press her harder into the mattress, his hard body aligned perfectly were her soft one. She wasn't sure what brought on this sudden heated make-out session, but it felt too good for her to question him now. Besides, this was just the distraction she needed from her own life. She could feel herself start to relax, the tension leaving her body.

Nathan could feel all of the stress melting away from his body as tremor after tremor raked through him. He groaned into Haley's mouth when her nails raked over the back of his neck, her soft lips kissing him harder. Involuntarily, he pressed himself more into her. Their bodies were so close together he swore he could feel her heart racing. As always, he felt like he couldn't get enough of her. He wanted more. He _needed_ more.

Tearing his lips away from hers, he began to leave soft kisses on the edge of her jaw and down the side of her neck. Her vanilla scent was starting to drive him crazy, along with the way her body was withering beneath his. The quiet whimpers and moans expelling from her lips weren't helping matters either.

"God, Hales, you have no idea how badly I want you right now," He murmured huskily into her skin, his lips attaching to a sensitive spot right below her ear.

Haley moaned loudly at his heated words and at the feel of his hand sliding underneath her shirt, caressing the smooth skin of her stomach. She could certainly feel how much he wanted her with their bodies pressed so tightly together. It terrified her, but it also thrilled her to know that she could turn him on that much. She knew she was going to have to put a stop to this and soon, but a few more minutes couldn't hurt. The euphoria she was feeling was addicting.

"Nathan," She whimpered when his lips reached her collarbone, his warm tongue lavishing her skin. She was so hot and her heart was beating a mile a minute. Everything he was doing to her and all of the emotions he was bringing out in her felt so good.

Hearing Haley whimper his name like that had something carnal snapping inside of him. The hand that was massaging her stomach slid to her inner thigh. His free hand gripped the pillow beside Haley's head as his lips ventured even lower. His mind felt like it was hazy. Haley was surrounding him in every sense and he never imagined something could feel so good. His desire for her was racing through his veins like a wildfire.

Haley gasped when he squeezed her inner thigh, the nails on her one hand scraping down his t-shirt covered shoulder blades. She knew she had to stop him, especially since his hand was creeping further up her thigh. As good as all of this felt, she wasn't ready to further. She trusted Nathan, but she had morals. She always believed that her first time would be with the man that she loved and while she had strong feelings for Nathan, she wasn't there yet.

Mustering up all of the self-control she had left, she reached in between them to grab his hand. "Nathan, baby, you gotta…" The words died on her lips when he began to kiss the tops of her breasts not covered by the neckline of her shirt. She let out a loud moan before releasing that she really needed to stop him.

Panic started to rise up inside of her and before she even realized what was happening, the words slipped out of her mouth. "You g-gotta stop. I've never done this before." Her face turned about thirty different shades of red when she realized what she had just said.

Nathan completely frozen when Haley's words sunk in. He dropped his head into the crook of her neck as he desperately tried to get his body under control. His heart was still racing and he was still breathing hard. An immense amount of guilt boiled up inside of him. He should have never ravaged Haley like that. The last thing he ever wanted to do was pressure her into something she wasn't ready for. He should have never let himself lose control like that. Once he felt under enough control, he pressed a chaste kiss to the side of her neck before lifting his head up.

"I'm so sorry, baby," He apologized sincerely. It clenched his heart to see the nervous expression on her face. She was chewing on her bottom lip and it was clear by the redness of her cheeks that she was embarrassed by her admission. His first instinct was to reassure her and comfort her. "I-I don't know what came over me."

"It's alright," She choked out.

He shook his head as he sat up and moved so that he was lying beside her. "I shouldn't have done that."

It was Haley's turn to shake her head. "I'm the one who's sorry."

Nathan furrowed his eyebrows as he grabbed her hand. "Hales, you have nothing to be sorry for. I just don't want to do anything to pressure you."

"You weren't," Haley quickly dismissed. "Things got really heated really fast and I was okay with it. Really, I was. I'm just not ready to go _there_ , yet. I also probably shouldn't have blurted it out like that, I'm sorry. "

"Haley, I understand," He promised with a chuckle, squeezing her hand. "We'll go at your own pace, okay?"

Haley was honestly surprised at how understanding Nathan was being about this. She'd heard so many horror stories from girls about how their boyfriends were constantly pressuring them into sex until eventually they gave in. He reminded her of a unicorn in that moment. "You're amazing."

Nathan only smiled. He wanted to counter her statement. He was the furthest thing from amazing, but now didn't seem like the time to be self-deprecating.

Haley glanced at the clock and saw that it was getting pretty late. As much as she didn't want to leave, they had school tomorrow. She scooted off of his bed before standing up. "I should probably get going."

There was a sinking feeling in his stomach as he watched her getting ready to leave. He wasn't ready to give up her warmth. After the day he had, the only thing that was going to keep him sane and get him to sleep tonight was her. "Stay the night with me."

Haley stopped putting her shoes on when she heard Nathan speak. Looking up at him, she furrowed her eyebrows. Didn't he just say that he was respecting her wishes to wait? "Nathan…"

He knew what she was thinking and he quickly shook his head. "It's not that, I promise. I've had kind of a rough day and…and I just need to hold you."

Haley's heart melted. Now that she got a good look at him, he did seem on edge. The worry lines were evident on his face and his jaw was tight. And if she were being honest, she didn't want to go back home. Her house would be completely empty and lonely, full of reminders that her mom was gone. Their argument still lingered in the back of her mind and she was eager to find any distraction that she could. Slipping her shoes off of her feet, she nodded. "Okay, I will."

He felt a blissful relief. "Are you sure? Your mom won't mind?" He asked with skepticism.

Haley shook her head. "She's out of town right now.

Nathan nodded as he got up from his bed. Walking over to his closet, he pulled out one of his t-shirts and a pair of his boxers for her to sleep in. "Here. And uh, I sleep in just a pair of shorts and t-shirt, is that okay?"

Haley smiled at his thoughtfulness and nodded her head. Grabbing the clothes he offered her, she headed to his bathroom to get changed. She was a little apprehensive about staying the night with him. What if she said something embarrassing in her sleep? Or what if she snored too loud? She'd never shared a bed with a boy before and she figured being nervous came with the territory. But even though she was nervous, she still found herself excited. Many nights she had spent awake in her bed, wondering what it would be like the wrapped up in his embrace. Right now, his embrace was just what she needed.

Once she was changed, she walked back into his room. He was already changed and lying in the bed. Taking a deep breath, she crawled into his bed and curled up into his side. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed contently when his arm held her close. She was surprised to feel just how much heat his body radiated off. She wasn't surprised, however, at the amount of safeness she immediately felt.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

"I'm perfect."

Nathan smiled as he pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head. His fingers delicately stroked the exposed skin of her arm. All of the memories of his horrid day and all of his stress floated away. Holding Haley brought him the peace that he so desperately craved. He closed his eyes and let the soft sound of her breathing and the feel of her body against his lure him into a deep sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

I am a very overly critical person when it comes to myself. With that being said, I had a really hard time writing this chapter. I just wasn't happy with the way things were flowing and I kept re-writing things. So I apologize for the quality of this chapter. Hopefully, I'm just being cryptic and it doesn't suck as much as I think it does, lol. Also, I just wanted to point something out-Nathan's biggest problem in this story isn't Damien, it's himself. Damien does cause a lot of problems, but ultimately, it's Nathan's own demons that he has to overcome. I don't want to say Damien is harmless, because he's definitely not, but he doesn't carry as much weight as you think. Hopefully, that makes sense to all of you. My mind can be...rather complex.

P.S. I have something to ask you guys. In the beginning of this story, I did give the warning that I was going to include things of the sexual nature, a lot more than I did in previous stories. Obviously, the topic of sex did come up in the last chapter. Now, couples (for the most part) work up to sex by doing other things. That can safely be implied/assumed. My question to you guys is do you want me to include their sexual journey (for lack of a better word) in this story or just leave implications of it? I included the warning because I planned on including those moments, but I wanted your opinions. It wouldn't serve a lot of purpose in terms of the plot, but it would also provide more smutty/hot Naley scenes, besides the first time they have sex. I have no problem writing them, but I don't want to include them if no one interested. Please let me know in your reviews!

* * *

Haley's eyes trailed slowly over Nathan's face. She'd been up for the last twenty minutes but didn't have it in her to disturb Nathan. He was still sleeping, his arm lazily banded around her waist, holding her close even in his sleep. She could see the slight movements of his eyes underneath his pale eyelids and long eyelashes. She found herself mesmerized by the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. He looked so peaceful, the usual worry lines on his forehead were smooth and the usually dark bags under his eyes were nothing but faint shadows now.

He was exquisite, there was no other way to describe him. Haley felt her heart begin to hammer in her chest.

Last night was the best night of sleep she had ever had. She thought for sure that she would have been up most of the night worrying about her mom, but in his arms, she felt serene. It was like with him, the outside world didn't exist. However, when she glanced over at the alarm clock besides Nathan's bed, she realized that the outside world _did_ still exist. They had to be at school in a little over an hour. For the first time in her academic career, going to school was the last thing she wanted to do.

"I can feel you staring," Nathan murmured hoarsely, his voice thick with sleep. She could see the hint of a lazy smirk on his face, but his eyes remained closed.

A slow smile spread across Haley's face, her cheeks flushing. "I'm not staring," She answered innocently.

His smirk widened. "Then, what are you doing?"

"I'm _gazing_ ," Haley clarified. "There's a difference."

A short chuckle escaped Nathan's lips. "Oh yeah, how so?"

"Staring is creepy, gazing is romantic."

Nathan's eyes fluttered open as he turned to look at her. Her blonde curls were a mess against the pillows and her eyes were still glazed over with sleep. Even then, she was beautiful. His smirk had melted into a playful smile. All of the stress of yesterday was long forgotten. For once in his life, he felt well rested. Most mornings, he didn't want to leave his bed because he didn't want to live. The former was still true, but now he didn't want to leave his bed because he never wanted this moment with Haley to end.

Dusting his fingers across the exposed skin of her back where her shirt had ridden up, he narrowed his eyes playfully at her. "Okay, smart ass, why are you 'gazing' at me?"

Haley remained silent for a few moments, her eyes once again moving over his features. Her chest felt heavy with emotion as his eyes curiously watched her. "Because, you're perfect," She finally answered, her voice barely above a whisper.

Nathan furrowed his eyebrows at her, a fierce heat trickling through his body. No one had ever used that word to describe him before. Never had he believed that he was worthy of being called that word. Even hearing that word fall from her lips, he couldn't help but think how ridiculous it sounded. So, he laughed, not at her, but himself.

"I'm serious," Haley declared as she scooted up and closer to him. Propping herself up, she used her free hand to lightly trace around his eyes, his nose, his lips, and then his jaw. "Those heartbreakingly beautiful blue eyes, this sharp nose, those soft lips…every single inch of you is perfect."

"Hales." Nathan's eyes fluttered closed and his head titled back into the pillow when she began to place soft kisses on his chest, her small fingers tracing the cut of his stomach. She seemed to pay special attention to the scar on his chest and it caused a fire to race through his veins. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was trembling. Everywhere she kissed or touched him felt like a raging inferno was starting inside of him. He let her adoring words soak through his skin and it caused an unnamable feeling to bubble up in the pit of his stomach. When he felt her lips caress the juncture of his collarbone, he lost it. Titling her head up, he captured her lips in a searing kiss and flipped them over, pining her body to the soft mattress.

Haley gasped into his mouth as her fingers buried themselves in his hair. She kissed him back feverishly, the tingles spreading quickly through her body. A shiver ripped through her body when his hand slid under the shirt she was wearing, his fingers delicately stroking the hot skin of her lower stomach and back.

After a few moments, Nathan pulled away. He was breathing heavily as his eyes trailed over her. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were shining back at him. In that moment, it was like he could pretend that his life was perfect. He could almost forget that Damien existed or that he was so fucked up. He ignored that annoying voice in his head, reminding him of all the things that could and probably would go wrong. The only thing that mattered was the blessing laying in his arms.

"What?" Haley asked, breathless. She squirmed a little under his intense gaze. The way he looked at her sometimes…it felt like he could see right down to her soul.

"You're an angel," He replied heatedly. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you. I can't…I can't believe you're all mine."

Haley flushed, her heart fluttering at his words. "I love being yours." It was then that she thought back to the previous night and everything that had transpired between them. For some reason, the recollection of that memory brought forth another one, as well, one that wasn't so happy. Her cheeks flushed further. "Can I ask you something?"

Nathan nodded. "Anything."

She gnawed on her bottom lip as she tried to find the correct way to formulate her question. "Okay, so, normally, I'm not one for listening to gossip. If I was, I probably wouldn't be lying next to you right now. I don't want you to—"

"Hales," Nathan said with a chuckle, his hand giving her waist a gentle squeeze. "Just spit it out."

She inhaled deeply before spilling out the words that were jumbled in her brain. "Brooke mentioned something a while ago about you being 'caught' with a teacher and I just wanted to know if it was true."

Nathan remained silent for a few seconds, studying the way her cheeks were a cherry red and her bottom lip was raw from how hard she was chewing on it. Then, he started to laugh.

"Nathan!" She admonished. "I don't see anything funny about this." And, she really didn't. She always figured that Nathan was much more…experienced than her, despite the fact he'd never had a girlfriend. She'd heard the rumors, not that she believed them, but she figured there was some truth to them. A part of her was scared to know just how experienced he was, while the other part of her needed to know.

Noticing the serious expression on her face, Nathan quieted his laughter. It didn't surprise him one bit that she had heard that rumor about him. Out of all the rumors that had went around about him, that one had to be the one to lasted the longest. Reaching up, he gently tucked a piece of wayward hair behind her ear. "The only thing that teacher was 'caught' for was asking me to sell her drugs."

Haley's eyebrows furrowed. "What?

Chuckling softly, he smiled at her. "When I first started hanging out with Damien, a rumor went around that I was a drug dealer. She stupidly asked me after class if I could sell her some and the principal walked in just as she was asking me. That's all."

"Were you? A drug dealer, I mean," She asked quietly. She couldn't deny the amount of relief she felt at hearing the rumor was, in fact, a bust.

Nathan swallowed hard before chuckling nervously. "No." _Only working with one._

"That's crazy," Haley mumbled. "I thought they did drug tests on teachers."

Nathan only shrugged. He really didn't want to talk about this, not now. So, instead, his hand absentmindedly rubbed the curve of her waist. He smirked when she visibly shivered. For most of his life, Nathan wasn't one for affectionate human contact. He used to hate when his mom forced him to hug relatives at family gatherings or when she would constantly try to hug him. When he hooked up with a girl, he never cuddled with her or anything of that nature. He never understood why he was like that, he just was.

But like everything else in his life, it was different with Haley. He couldn't keep his hands off of her and better yet, he didn't want to. The warmth and safeness that he felt whenever she touched him or vice versa was something he had noticed right away. He tried like hell to fight it off, just like he did with everything else involving Haley. But now, he was going to relish in it.

"You said you had a rough day yesterday," Haley muttered, breaking the silence. She knew what she was about to say was a long shot, but she needed to try anyway. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Nathan sighed as he shook his head. Even the mere mention of the yesterday's events had his chest tightening. But with a simple glance in her eyes, Nathan suddenly felt the urge to tell her everything. The words were on the tip of his tongue and it scared him how easily he could've let his guard down. There was something still stopping him, though. The fear of telling her the truth, the fear of her knowing the real him…that wasn't something he wasn't willing to risk. Not yet.

"I-I had a rough run in with Damien, that's all."

Haley tensed at the mention of Damien, her eyebrows furrowing further with worry. "What happened?"

"The usual, him trying to get under my skin."

Haley didn't miss the way Nathan's eyes seemed to darken or the way his features seemed to harden. Sighing, she reached up to caress his cheek. She smiled softly when he leaned into her touch. "You know you can talk to me…about anything. I know you're new at this whole relationship thing, but we're basically each other's therapists now." Her voice was light and teasing.

Nathan smiled. It was one of those smiles that was strictly reserved for her. "I know, Hales, I know. But there really isn't much to tell."

She stared at him for a few seconds. She wasn't sure if she fully believed him, but she decided to let it go. She promised him that she would be patient and she didn't take promises lightly. "You never did tell me how I'm miraculously not tutoring Damien anymore."

"I told you I would take care of it and I did."

"How did you even manage that? Sell your soul to the devil?"

 _In a way, yes._ "I just talked to Damien and got him to back off. I can be pretty intimidating when I want to be."

Haley giggled. "I'm sure you can be."

"Well, what about you?" Nathan quickly changed the subject. "You mentioned something about your mom leaving?"

She'd forgotten all about that and the reminder felt like a bullet in her heart. Her anger and sorrow quickly resurfaced as she replayed the argument in her mind. The hand that was resting on his cheek fell to his shoulder. "She, um, has some work to take care of in New York and Chicago."

"How long is she going to be gone?"

"Two weeks."

Nathan's eyes widened in disbelief. "She's leaving you alone for two weeks?"

Haley nodded solemnly. Before she realized it, she was spilling all of her feelings out to him. "I'm not really surprised, though. Her work always comes first. It just kind of sucks because she'll be gone for Thanksgiving. That was always my dad's favorite holiday and we always do something special for it. The part that hurts the most is that she didn't seem to care. Except, I know she does. She buries all of her feelings and hides everything from me like I can't handle it. Now, I have to spend the holiday alone."

Nathan could clearly see the pain in her eyes and his heart ached in response. Haley always seemed so put together and to see her in pain…he realized that he didn't like it. He wanted, no, he needed, to find a way to take her pain away. Reaching up, he tucked a piece of wayward hair behind her ear. "Maybe you don't have to."

"What do you mean?"

"For Thanksgiving, Lucas and I go over his mom's. Come with us."

Haley's first reaction was to shake her head. "I couldn't. I wouldn't want to impose."

"You wouldn't be. No one should spend the holiday alone, especially if that holiday means a lot to you. Besides, Keith and Karen have been on our asses about bringing a girl 'home' for awhile now. They'll be thrilled to have you," Nathan explained, trying his best to coax her into it. He surprised even himself with that offer.

"Keith?" Haley pondered.

"Karen's husband and my uncle."

Haley couldn't deny the fringe of excitement she felt at the possibility of meeting someone from Nathan's family. But, she also felt nervous. "Are you sure they won't mind?"

"Positive."

"Well, if you're asking, then I guess I'm coming." She smiled brightly but her euphoria didn't last long when she noticed the time. "Shoot, Nathan, we have to be at school in twenty minutes!"

Nathan laughed at the way Haley scrambled out of his bed and out of his embrace. "School's overrated. I say we just don't go." But when Haley glared at him, he knew there was no way that was an option.

~x~

 _Tonight. 8 pm. Pool house. Prove your loyalty._

Nathan scowled as he slammed his phone shut. Now that he was no longer in a Haley induced bubble, the reality of his life had come crashing down on him…hard. He had forgotten how demanding Damien could be. It was party after party and plan after plan.

As much as he hated this situation that he was in and as much as he dreaded the things he knew he was going to have to do, he couldn't bring himself to back down. It would've been easy to tell Damien to fuck off. It would've given him free reign to do whatever he wanted to Nathan. A few months, Nathan wouldn't have cared.

Right now, he felt like he was on the brink of two different versions of himself. Both sides of him were at war with each other, at least, that's what it felt like. One version of himself didn't care…about anything. He already lost everything he ever 'cared' about, everything else was just collateral damage. Damien could hurt him in any way he thought fitting and it would feel like a slap on the wrist. All that side needed was booze and pain. That was the side of him that scared him.

The other side, the side that was becoming stronger with every passing day, cared….and it cared immensely. He wanted to fight to get his life back. He wanted to numb the pain and move on. He wanted to live and to be happy. It was also the side of him that was terrified—terrified of losing anything else. That was who he was before Damien. He knew he had Haley to thank for resurfacing that side of him.

There was only one question that remained—which version of himself would end up on top?

"Tell me, did my eyes deceive me this morning or was Haley James actually in your bed?" Lucas joked as he slapped on a hand on Nathan's shoulder. Nathan was just turning away from his locker, heading towards the courtyard for lunch.

"Damn, that was fast…even for you," Jake muttered from the other side of Lucas.

Nathan's scowl became more prominent as his eyes narrowed. "Nothing happened," He barked.

"Woah, dude," Jake's eyes widened at the icy tone in Nathan's voice. "I was just joking."

"I'm not in the mood for jokes," Nathan said gruffly, tightening the straps on his backpack.

"Nate, what's going on?" In a way, Lucas found this situation kind of comical. He had just gotten used to Nathan being in a good mood and now he was back to being moody.

Noticing that they were almost to the girls, Nathan shook his head. "I'll tell you later."

"You said that yesterday," Jake pointed out.

"Well, this time, I mean it."

"Good, I'm glad you guys are finally here!" Brooke beamed, clapping her hands together. She waited until the boys sat down before she began to speak again. "I have an announcement to make."

"Another party? Really, Brooke? You just had one not too long ago," Peyton mumbled without looking up for the _Rolling Stone_ magazine she was ready.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "It's not a party…per say, just a social gathering, between all of us."

"Wait, is this about that 'friendsgiving' thing that you brought up the other day?" Haley asked as she leaned more into Nathan. He was straddling the bench beside her, his chest facing her. She smiled when she felt his hand on her lower back.

Brooke nodded. "I've decided to have it the Friday after Thanksgiving. Obviously, since we're going to be seeing a lot of each other, we should use this as an opportunity to get to know each other better."

"But, I already know you, Brooke Davis," Jake teased. "You're captain of the cheer-leading squad, student council president, all around social butterfly, fashion queen…shall I go on?"

"Oh, you know what I mean!" Brooke huffed out, crossing her arms over her chest.

Haley laughed, shaking her head. "I think it'll be fun."

"I agree," Lucas spoke up.

"Good," Brooke said with a smile. "Then, it's settled. Friday, 7:30. My house."

Jake smirked as he brought his hands out in front him, cracking his knuckles. "Looks like this is the perfect occasion for me to break out all of the embarrassing stories I have about _Brookie_ here."

Haley turned to Nathan and mouthed "Brookie?" He just shrugged.

Brooke glared. "Don't forget that I have some embarrassing stories about you, too, _Jakey_."

It was in that moment when Lucas' face lit up. It was like a brilliant realization had come over him. He whipped around to face Jake. "W-wait a minute! Is Brooke..?" He then turned to look at Nathan.

Nathan smirked back at Lucas. He knew exactly where he was going with this. "I think she might be."

Brooke furrowed her eyebrows. "I might be what?"

"Nate, Luke…I swear to God," Jake gritted out, shaking his head as a warning.

"Oh, this is about to be good," Peyton snickered as she closed her magazine.

"All through elementary school and even some of middle school," Nathan began, ignoring the way Jake was motioning for him to cut it out. This was payback for all of the shit Jake had given him about Haley over the past few days. "Jake had a huge crush on this girl, but he never told us who she was."

"He would always sneak away during lunch or recess to see said girl," Lucas picked up where Nathan left off. He smirked when he saw Brooke's cheeks start to turn red. "I think we just figured out who that girl was. He used to call her 'Brookie' and I can't believe I never put it together until now!"

Haley and Peyton both turned to Brooke. They busted out laughing when they saw how red her face was and the way she was avoiding looking at everyone.

"I can't believe I was right," Peyton said through her laughs. "I always knew there was something fishy between the two of you."

Jake jumped up from the table, shooting an apologetic look in Brooke's direction. "I, uh, completely forget that I was supposed to meet with Mr. Harrison about a missing assignment." And with that, he was gone.

"Boys," Haley said with a laugh.

~x~

"Haley, wait up!"

Haley slowed her walking and glanced over her shoulder to see Lucas running towards her. School had let out a few minutes ago and she was almost off campus when she heard Lucas call after her. She smiled when he reached her. "Hey, Luke."

"I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment," Lucas said warily as he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

Haley's eyebrows furrowed at the obvious nervous edge to Lucas' voice. He stomach flipped anxiously. "Yeah, of course. What's up?"

"It's about my brother," Lucas rushed on and judging by the look Haley's face, she already figured that's what he wanted to talk about. "How are you guys?"

Haley laughed awkwardly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "We're as good as a couple whose only been together a few days can be, I guess."

Lucas chuckled at that. "I swear it feels like you guys have been together for years, not a few days."

"It does feel like that sometimes," Haley said lowly. She studied Lucas' face for a few minutes to see if she could garner why exactly he was talking to her. She didn't really mind. She liked Lucas and she felt like they had a lot in common, it was just weird for him to be talking to her out of the blue like this.

"Nathan told me that he invited you over to my mom's for Thanksgiving."

Haley chewed on the inside of her cheek as her fingers began to nervously wring together. If he was talking to her about this, maybe he didn't want her there. "Y-yeah, he did. My mom's going to be out of town and he felt bad about me being all alone. I don't have to go if you don't want me there."

"Oh, no, that's not it all!" Lucas quickly reassured her. "I would love to have you there. Besides, I'm sure my mom and Keith will be thrilled. I have to warn you though, my mom will probably fall in love with you."

Haley looked down at that, her cheeks heating up. "What makes you say that?"

"Because you make Nathan smile," Lucas admitted sheepishly. "I know it doesn't really seem like it, but my mom is really protective of Nathan. She just gives him his spance. She and Deb were extremely close and I think she feels like she owes it to Deb to watch over Nathan. I don't know if you know this or not, but legally, my mom has custody of Nathan."

Haley's head shot up, her eyes wide with shock. "No, I, uh, didn't know that."

Lucas nodded. "My mom and Deb made each other legal guardians of us kids in case something happened to either of them."

"That's sweet," Haley mumbled. "But, if that's the case, why don't you boys live with her?"

"Nathan lived with us for about a year," Lucas explained. "But, I think living with my mom and Keith was hard on him, even if he hasn't admitted it. I think it hurt for him to see all of us together when he used to have something similar with his parents. That's probably the reason he avoided my mom's café at all costs, too. He won't ever admit that because that's just how Nathan is, but I could tell."

Haley felt her heart ache at Lucas' story. It never seized to amaze her, in a completely terrible way, of how much Nathan had been through. "So, he decided to move out?"

Lucas nodded. "I think my mom knew that he wasn't happy there, because when he sat her down and Keith down, she didn't seem shocked or hurt. She was ready to give him whatever he needed to help him recover. And as much as it killed her to see me go, she knew that Nathan needed me. She didn't even put up a fight when I told her Nathan wanted me to move in with him."

"Your mom sounds like a good woman," Haley complimented.

"She's the best," Lucas agreed. "So, like I said, she'll probably fall in love with you. She sees Nathan as her second son and all she's ever wanted was for him to be happy again."

Haley blushed even harder at the weight of his words. Her heart was hammering in her chest and she couldn't keep the smile off her face, even if she tried. "You've really got me nervous now. I feel like I have some high expectations to live up to now."

"You'll be fine," Lucas said with a chuckle. "But, listen, I also wanted to talk to you because I wanted to thank you."

Haley's eyebrows shot up. "Thank me?"

"For not giving up on Nathan," Lucas asserted. "I know he's not easy to deal with. He's got a lot issues and his mood swings give you whiplash, sometimes. But, I haven't seen him even slightly happy in a long time, but with you…I can see him changing. I was worried that he was never going to recover and he's still not hundred percent the Nathan that he used to be, but I'm starting to see glimpses of him."

"Oh, I can't take credit for that," Haley dismissed. She had to admit that it felt like her heart was soaring. The things that Lucas was saying were rather…heady. "He's changing because he wants to."

"Maybe so, but he never tried to change until you came around," Lucas pointed out. "You gave him a reason to change. So, again, thank you for not giving up on him."

Haley smiled softly at him. Lucas' sincerity shook something deep inside of her. "I couldn't give up on him, even if I wanted to."

~x~

"Come on, Nate, you can drink more than that," Tim said with a snicker as he shoved another shot of Fireball in his face.

Nathan coughed harshly. His eyes were watery and bloodshot. His throat and his stomach were burning with a sharp intensity. He hadn't planned on drinking tonight and he didn't want to either. But when Damien placed the fifth of Fireball and a shot glass in front of him, Nathan knew the topic of not drinking wasn't up for discussion. It didn't seem to matter that Nathan hated Fireball.

Surprisingly enough, drinking made it easier for Nathan to be in that pool house. It dulled all of his senses…it made him numb. The anxiety and dread that he was feeling when he first arrived was slowly melting away. He hated the fact that he needed to depend on alcohol to relax. It was paradoxical situation.

God, he needed to get out of there. And fast.

Every few minutes, he would glance at the clock. It was only eleven. It felt like he had been there for days and he was desperately trying to come up with an excuse to leave. He knew that Lucas was probably wondering where he was. His brain felt like mush and he already knew that trying to come up with an excuse to tell Lucas was going to be futile.

"I see you still aren't a fan of Fireball," Damien said through a series of coughs. He blew the smoke from the blunt he was smoking right in Nathan's fast and he had to resist the urge to cough.

"Fruity drinks really aren't my thing," Nathan choked out, blinking hard to get rid of the fog that had clouded his senses. He didn't know what was more disappointing—the fact that it had taken a good _eight_ shots to feel anything or that fact that it had taken a good eight shots to _feel_ anything.

Damien laughed wholeheartedly and Nathan instantly recognized that laugh. He was high. "I remember the first time I dragged you to a party. Your scrawny ass had one shot of raspberry vodka and puked."

Nathan grimaced at the memory. "I was barely fourteen."

"What a lightweight," Tim goaded Nathan, giving him a shove. "By time I was fourteen, I had the tolerance of a sixty year old alcoholic."

Everyone around them hollered at that and it made Nathan sick to his stomach that they were proud of something like that. He felt even sicker when the voice in the back of his head reminded him that he used to be just like them.

"How did you even get this pussy to join you?" Daunte jumped in. "You never did tell us that story."

Damien laughed before taking another long hit of his blunt. "I was so fucking high the night that I met him. The only thing I remember was some slut was blowing me behind a tree at the court by the river when I heard someone playing basketball. The chick I was with ended up passing out and I was bored, so I went up to him."

Nathan felt his heart begin to hammer in his chest as Damien rehashed how they originally met. He remembered that night vividly. He was only a kid, a stupid and naïve kid. He remembered his initial reaction to Damien's presence was fear. He had heard all of the rumors about him. He was that one senior that you didn't want to mess with. And as an innocent freshman, Nathan let Damien intimidate him and pressure him.

That was one mistake he would be paying for the rest of his life.

"I remember asking Nate if I could join his game." Another cough followed by an unnecessary laugh. "The kid looked at me with such wide eyes. I thought for sure he was going to shit his pants."

Everyone laughed at that and Nathan's fists clenched in his lap. Hearing this story from Damien's point of view made his blood boil. The worst part of it all was that he couldn't blame Damien for what had happened. It was Nathan's choice to go to that damn party. It was Nathan's choice to take the first hit of whatever drug they shoved in his face.

"We played basketball for a while," Damien continued on. "He was damn good. He beat my ass in like ten minutes. It was then I figured he was cool enough to hang out with us. So, I invited him to a few parties. Before I knew it, he became a regular."

Nathan's stomach churned. His throat felt like it was on fire as he fought to keep himself calm. All the memories—the ones that he wished he could erase from existence—hit him at once. He wished to God he could go back in time and take his younger self by the throat. He would scream at him to walk away. How could he have been so stupid?

He wished that he knew why he decided to hang out with Damien, but the fact of the matter was, he didn't have a solid clue. It wasn't some act of defiance. He wasn't trying to prove anything to anyone. He should have walked away the second Damien forced him to take a shot of that cheap raspberry vodka that lasted a whole ten minutes in his system. It was a classic case of a young kid getting mixed it with the wrong crowd and being too prideful to do anything about it.

He really was a selfish bastard.

If things couldn't have gotten any worse, Rachel slid into the seat next to him. He was surprised it had taken her this long to show up. The scent of her cheap perfume made his eyes water and he gritted his teeth when her arm snuck around his neck. "He was the best regular, if you ask me," She purred into his ear.

Nathan gripped her hand and removed it from around his neck. He scooted away from her, but that did little to deter her. In the past, he allowed her to flirt with him. Hell, sometimes he'd even flirt back. Right now, he was hating his past self for that. "Rachel, stop."

"Oh, come on, Nate!" Bear teased with a laugh. "You two have been playing this cat and mouse shit forever. Just fuck and get it over with already. It would be a hell of a way to celebrate. She's crazy in bed."

A smirk spread across Rachel's face and he grimaced when she winked back at Bear. She was the definition of spineless slut. His skin began to crawl when she began to run her fingers up and down his arm. How the hell had he put up with this before? He was two seconds away from jumping out of his own skin.

"N-not gonna happen," He forced out, subconsciously looking around the quickest way out of there. He rolled his eyes when Rachel pouted at him.

"You're the only one in this pool house that hasn't fucked her," Tim roared with laughter. "It's practically initiation at this point."

Nathan's chest felt heavy. He really didn't like where this conversation was going. "Well, it's going to stay that way."

"Boys, boys," Damien chortled. "Nathan's a-one-conquest-at-a-time kind of guy. I can't imagine that life being enjoyable, but to each's own."

"Who's the chick?" Daunte asked.

The mention of Haley was both a good thing and a bad thing. It was a good thing because apparently the only thing that did deter Rachel was the mention of another girl. He relaxed slightly when she finally backed away from him. It was a bad thing because he didn't want anyone else knowing about her. Damien was bad enough.

"Haley James," Damien purred. "She's a real beauty. Nice legs, firm ass, hell of a rack. She's innocent as all hell. So, you know, just my type. Scott's lucky he got to her first."

He was going to snap. He could feel it. This was exactly why he didn't want them talking about Haley. The things they were inevitably going to say about her…there was no way in handle he could handle that.

"Shit, Scott," Tim laughed. "I need to meet this dime piece. Care to make this a competition? I bet I could get her into bed before you."

Without warning, Nathan jumped up from the couch. He needed to get out of there before he did something that would really land him in some deep shit. Mumbling something about going to the bathroom, Nathan made his way away from them. Reaching the bathroom, he slammed the door shut and immediately headed towards the sink. He turned the water to the coldest setting before cupping his hands under the stream, splashing his face.

The cool water felt amazing against his heated skin. His heart was racing and it was taking everything in him to not bolt out of that bathroom and plummet the guys who were talking about Haley so inappropriately. The urge to protect someone as much as he wanted to protect Haley was so new to him that it felt impossible to deal with. Jealousy was also a new feat for him.

Nathan leaned against the bathroom wall, closed his eyes, and took a few deep breaths. Once he felt control over his own body again, he reopened them. It was then that he noticed something lying next to the trash can. It was a white paper wrapper. It reminded him of something that meat from a fancy meat market would be packaged in or…drugs.

Bending down to pick it up, his heart leapt in his throat when he saw what was on the back of packaging. It was Damien's logo. The exact same one that was on that piece of metal Nathan had found. Without wasting another second, he folded the wrapped and stuffed it in his pocket.

All of the agony he had just experienced was made worth it by that little piece of paper.

~x~

It was one in the morning by time Nathan finally arrived home. He was absolutely exhausted, mentally and physically. The alcohol was still coursing through his veins, leaving him with an unwarranted buzz. He felt almost sober and almost back to the safest reality, though. As quietly as he could, he shut the front door and shrugged his jacket off. He froze when the kitchen light clicked on.

"Well, it's about time you came home," Lucas muttered as he leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest.

"I was beginning to think he'd never show," Jake joked dryly and Nathan inwardly groaned. Of course, Lucas had to be awake and Jake just had to be staying over.

"Sorry, I didn't know I had a curfew. Won't happen again, Mom and Dad," Nathan joked lightly as he tried to make his way back to his room.

"Where were you?" Lucas asked shakily. "I tried calling you, but I kept going straight to voicemail."

"Yeah, my phone died," Nathan mumbled. He was starting to get irritated. Lucas never cared when he went out before, why was he suddenly so interested?

"You're avoiding the 'where were you' question," Jake said icily.

Nathan had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. They were both looking at him with hard eyes and he could see the anger written all over their faces. "I was just out," He said lamely.

Lucas surveyed Nathan and he felt the anger he was feeling increase. His eyes honed in on his red rimmed eyes and flushed face. "You're drunk."

"No, I'm not," Nathan quickly denied.

"Please," Jake scoffed. "I can practically smell the alcohol on your breath."

Nathan clenched his fists. "Okay, so, I had a few drinks. What's the big deal?"

Lucas snapped in that moment. "The big deal is that you went out and had a few drinks, with Damien!"

It suddenly felt like someone had dumped a giant bucket of cold water over him. His heart had stopped beating and he was sure that his skin had turned ghostly white. "I-I don't know what you're talking about," Nathan lamely tried to excuse.

"Drop the fucking act. We saw you," Lucas barked. He was seeing red. The only thing he could feel and focus on was the anger coursing through his veins. He almost died of shock when he saw Nathan turn into Damien's driveway. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"What? Were you fucking following me?" Nathan bit back. That was low, even for them.

"Actually, no, we weren't," Jake intervened. "We were heading out to my grandparents' house to pick up the good china for my parents' for Thanksgiving when we happened to see you. Imagine our surprise when you pulled into the driveway of Damien's house."

"I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt," Lucas spat. "I really did. But, then hour after hour passed and you weren't home yet. And now that you're home, you're also drunk." Lucas said that last part with a disdainful laugh.

"Luke, it's not—"

Lucas didn't want to hear it. He continued on anyway. "You know, I thought we were finally moving forward. You've actually been happy. You've actually let someone in. But come to find out, it's the exact opposite."

"No, it's not," Nathan defended. With every word that Lucas spoke, it felt like another knife in his heart. The disappointment and the pain in his eyes made he want to die. "Luke, please."

"I can't believe you would do something like this," Lucas yelled, stepping closer to Nathan. "After everything Damien put you through, you're still going to run back to him? He's the reason that your parents are dead! He's the reason that my father is dead! Have you suddenly forgotten that? God, I bet they're rolling around in their graves right about now."

Angry tears stung in Nathan's eyes. He felt absolutely sick. He'd never felt so many conflicting moments at one time. "It's not what you think, Luke."

"God, I can't even look at you," Lucas ranted on. "I'm ashamed to call you my brother. You can rot in hell for all I care."

"God damn it! Lucas!" Nathan snapped, shoving Lucas away from him and out of his face. "Would you just listen to me for a fucking second, please?"

"Why should I?" Lucas was in his face again. "What kind of low life excuse are you going to give me? Are you back on drugs again? Is that why you've been so happy lately? Is Damien the one getting you your fix?"

Nathan gritted his teeth as his fists clenched at his sides. He knew that Lucas wasn't going to be happy once he found out about this, but he thought that Lucas would at least give him a chance to explain. "How stupid do you think I am, huh?"

"You must be pretty fucked up if you're willing to go back to him."

"Maybe…we should listen to what he has to say," Jake said quietly. He wasn't happy about this new development either, but he didn't believe for a second that Nathan would do this without a solid reason. Jake knew that Nathan's biggest vice was anger, especially when it came to covering things up. The fact that he was trying his hardest to keep his anger under control said a lot more than Lucas probably realized in his own anger induced haze.

Lucas whipped around to stare at him in shock. "You're kidding me, right?"

Jake shook his head. "No, I'm not. It's Nathan, Lucas. Do you honestly believe that he would do something like this without a rhyme or a reason?"

Lucas's lips pressed into a hardline as he looked between Nathan and Jake. After a few moments, he sneered. "You have five minutes."

Nathan nodded as he swallowed thickly. "I'm not really in Damien's group again, he just thinks I am."

"I'm going to need a little more than that."

Nathan took a shaky breath as he made his way over to the couch. Plopping down, he rested his arms on his knees and looked over at them. "He was supposed to come back to school. He had his dad force the school board into allowing him to reenroll. Haley was supposed to be his tutor."

Lucas' features softened very slightly at that. "How the fuck did he manage that?"

"I don't know. It's Damien. He can get anything just by his dad writing a check," Nathan grumbled. "I didn't want him going anywhere near Haley and I knew that he was up to something, so I confronted him about it. He told me that if I agreed to join him again, he would leave Haley alone."

"So, all of this is to keep Haley safe?" Jake asked with wide eyes.

"That's part of it," Nathan admitted. "You don't know how Damien works. If you're with him, he won't go after something that's yours. It's his way of showing respect or some shit like that. I wasn't going to say yes at first. As much as I need to keep Haley safe, I knew there was no way I could go back to him. I was determined to find another way. I would have died if it really came down to it. That was until I found something."

"What'd you find?" Lucas asked.

Nathan stood up and rushed back to his room. Opening his dresser drawer, he grabbed the piece of metal hidden there and headed back. "I found this." He handed the piece of metal over to Lucas.

Lucas ran his fingers over it, his eyes scanning over the symbol. "What is this?"

"It's Damien's business logo, or his signature," Nathan stated. "I found it when I was going through Dad's things."

Jake furrowed his eyebrows as he, too, looked it over. "What does it mean?"

"It's what links Damien to the fire," Nathan declared. "Whatever Damien started the fire with came from that piece of metal. I just have to find a way to connect that symbol to Damien and that piece of metal to the source of the fire. Once I do, I'll go to the police and there's no way he won't be thrown in jail."

"How the hell are you going to do that?" Lucas asked with wide eyes. As Nathan's explanation went on, he could feel the anger slowly dissipating. It was still very much prevalent, but it wasn't controlling him.

"By snooping," Nathan muttered as he reached into his pocket at pulled out the packaging he found earlier. He placed that object in Lucas' hand. "This symbol is everywhere in Damien's office. It's even on the drugs he sends out. No one knows this unless you're someone that Damien trusts, but he keeps a log of every single thing that has that symbol on it. He's anal about. I just need to find that log."

"Do you realize how risky this is?" Jake said with incredulity. "What if Damien catches you going through his things? What if he finds up what you're up to? He might be dense, but he's not that stupid."

"I'll just have to be careful," Nathan murmured. "I know this sounds crazy. I know that it's risky. But, if this is my chance to finally be free, then I'm going to take it."

"You could always pay him the damn money that you owe him," Lucas mumbled icily. As much as Nathan's reasoning made sense, Lucas still had a bad feeling about this. Nothing good ever came from Damien West.

Nathan shook his head. "Even if I did pay him the money, he's not going to go away. I'm not going to let him get away with what he's done. If this works out, then he won't see the light of day again."

"And if doesn't?" Jake said carefully.

"Then, at least I know I tried."

"I don't know about this," Lucas said quietly. "What if you become—"

"I will never be that person again," Nathan cut him off. "I won't make that stupid mistake twice."

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" Lucas asked next.

"I wanted to, I just didn't know how to tell you," Nathan admitted. "I knew you both were going to be pissed."

"Pissed is an understatement," Jake remarked.

"I have to do this," Nathan insisted. "I just have to. Either you're with me or you're against me. Either way, I'm doing this.

Lucas looked at Jake and swallowed hard. He was still beyond pissed. He didn't trust Damien and he didn't think that would ever change. But he did trust Nathan. He could see the determination and the fear in Nathan's eyes. He wasn't backing down, but he was also looking for help. He hated this, he really did. But he couldn't turn his back on Nathan. Neither of them could.

"I guess…we're with you."


	14. Chapter 14

Just a quick note about this chapter-Some of the parts were a little difficult for me to write. I find writing introductions between characters kind of awkward and bland. That might stem from the fact that in real life, I'm so awkward when I meet new people. I never know what to say and I always end up trying to be funny, which almost never works out in my favor, ha! Hopefully, you guys don't find the scene where Haley meets Keith and Karen as awkward as I felt writing it, haha. I'm not a big fan of writing chapters that are heavy dialogue either, but I felt like this chapter kind of had to be. The way I wrote Keith kind of reminds me a lot of Cooper, but oh well. Also, fun fact! The Thanksgiving tradition that Haley mentions in this chapter is actually something that I used to dowith my Grandma. It was always my favorite thing to do with her and I thought it would be fun to put a little bit of my personal life into this story. Hope y'all don't mind!

P.S. I've decided to go through at fix all of the errors in the previous chapters, so if you see that this story was updated again at some point tomorrow, that's what I'm doing!

* * *

"Are you nervous?"

"Nervous?"

"Yes, nervous," Brooke said with a giggle. "You're meeting a part of your boyfriend's family today. When I first met Julian's family, I practically gave myself an ulcer with how much worrying I did."

Haley inhaled shakily as she adjusted the phone against her ear. Her stomach was filled to the brim with butterflies and she already changed her outfit about five times that morning. She smoothed her hand over the black t-shirt dress she was currently wearing. She wasn't sure about this outfit either.

"I'm nervous, but I'm not. Does that make sense?" Haley babbled into the phone, her eyes cutting to her closet, mentally trying to think of yet another outfit to change into.

Brooke laughed. "That actually makes perfect sense."

"I just," Haley began, running a frustrated hand through her hair. "Lucas dumped on me a few days ago that his mom basically looks at Nathan like her second son. Nathan's mom and she were like super close, as odd as that may seem, so basically it's like I'm meeting his mom. It just feels like all of this is happening so fast. We've only been dating like a little over a week. Is this too soon?"

"Haley, darling, you're rambling," Brooke said through her laughs. "Take a breath."

Haley felt her cheeks heat up as she took a deep breath. "I guess I'm more nervous than I thought."

"It's normal," Brooke reassured her. "But, listen, you're going to be fine. I've met Karen. She's a sweet and easygoing woman. I'm sure she'll love you. And I don't think it's too soon. Besides, when have you and Nathan ever been normal?"

The corners of Haley's mouth twitched as she fought a smile. "I guess you're right."

"I'm always right," Brooke declared. "Did your mom call?"

"No," Haley muttered sourly. It was amazing how easily her mood shifted with just the mere mention of her mother.

She was still fuming over the fact that her mother left her alone for the holiday. There was already a weight in her heart from missing her father, but this just made it worse. She tried to will herself not to think about it and for the most part, she had succeeded. But when it did hit her, it hid her hard.

It felt like a gaping hole in her chest, threatening to swallow her whole. It was like a constant ache that she wasn't sure would ever seize. But just like every other time she missed her father or her mother let her down, she ignored it. Her father once told her that she was the strongest James out of the whole clan and she was determined to keep that title.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that. Her works always comes first," She then added.

"I'm sorry, Tutor Girl," Brooke said sincerely. "Are you going to be okay today?"

Haley sighed heavily. "Yeah, I think so. It helps that I'm not going to be alone. At least I'll have a distraction."

"Well, you know that if you need anything, I'm here for you."

"Thank you, Brooke."

"So, what time is Lover Boy picking you up?"

Glancing at the alarm clock on her desk, Haley's eyes widened when she saw that it was almost one-thirty. "Crap, Brooke, I gotta go. He'll be here in like a half hour and I still have to do my hair."

"Okay, okay," Brooke mumbled. "You better call me after, I want all of the details!"

"You know I will," Haley promised. "Hey, before I go, are _you_ sure you're going to be okay today?"

"Oh, yeah, I'll be fine. I got a few tubs of ice cream, a box of popcorn, and a collection of all the Nicholas Sparks movies ever made. Besides, Julian said he was going to stop by after dinner," Brooke explained happily, but Haley could still hear a hint of sadness in her voice.

"How are you and Julian?" Haley found herself asking as she started to sift through her closet again. _Too summery, too low-cut, too…ugly. God, she was never going to find something to wear._

"We're…okay," Brooke muttered reluctantly. "He's not exactly happy that we're hanging out with the boys now, but he'll get over it."

"Well, can you really blame him?" Haley cringed as soon as those words left her mouth. She had been so distracted by her efforts to find the perfect outfit that she spoke without even thinking.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Haley sighed, rubbing a hand down her face. "I mean that it's clear you and Jake have some kind of history. I feel like it's only natural that Julian feels a little…threatened by that."

"He has nothing to be threatened by!" Brooke quickly protested, her voice squeaking at the end. "Jake and I were friends when we were younger and that's it."

Haley couldn't help but laugh at her obvious lie. "Judging by what went down at lunch the other day, I think you were a little more than friends."

Brooke let out an agitated breath and Haley could practically see Brooke rolling her eyes through the phone. "Whatever there was between us happened when we were young and dumb. It's ancient history."

"Whatever you say, _Brookie_."

"Don't you have to continue getting ready?" Brooke bit back.

Haley laughed loudly. Surprisingly, this conversation with Brooke was just what she need in order to calm her nerves. "Yes, I do. But, we are so talking about this later."

"Whatever," Brooke muttered lowly. "Have fun tonight."

"Thanks for your help," Haley said sincerely before hanging up the phone. Tossing it on her bed, she turned her attention back to her closet. Pushing hanger after hanger away, she paused when she landed on a maroon a-line dress. She'd completely forgotten about that dress.

Quickly, she changed into that dress. Fastening the thin black belt around her waist, she dove into her closet to find her shoes. She settled on a pair of black flats. Slipping the shoes on to her feet, she bolted to the bathroom and began to add a few loose curls to her hair. The whole time, she couldn't stop smiling.

Her nerves had subsided a little, but the butterflies in her stomach wouldn't seize. She'd never met a boyfriend's family before. Well, there was that one time that her middle school boyfriend's mom picked them up from a school dance, but she didn't really count that. Her biggest worry was that they wouldn't like her. Nathan and Lucas had both told her multiple times that they would love her, but that did nothing to quell the natural worrier inside of her.

~x~

"Nathan is really bringing a girl to dinner tonight, aye?" Keith said in disbelief as he continued to dry of the dishes Karen had handed him.

Lucas nodded while fixing the red and brown tie that was hanging around his neck. The colors stood out against his crisp white shirt. "You sound pretty shocked about that."

Keith laughed, placing the final dish down and tossing the towel on the kitchen counter. "Not shocked, just surprised."

"Honey, those mean the same thing," Karen chirped as she made her way into the kitchen. She was sliding on a green bracelet, one that matched her dress perfectly.

"I knew that."

Karen playfully rolled her eyes as she went over to the stove to check on her stuffing and gravy. "I'm pretty excited about meeting her, if I do say so myself."

"You're gonna love her," Lucas promised. "She's incredibly smart and witty, loves old literature, and can be pretty sassy when she wants to be."

Keith pursed his lips. "How the hell did she end up with Nathan? She sounds like the female version of you. Surely someone with that amount of class wouldn't fall for Nathan's charm."

"Hey, I heard that!" Nathan exclaimed with a mock glare. He was just walking in the kitchen to join everyone when he had heard Keith ribbing him, which was nothing new. He fastened the last button on his black dress shirt before jabbing him with his elbow. He laughed when Keith doubled over.

Keith had always been an important person to both Nathan and Lucas. He'd always been a great uncle and subsequent step-dad, in Lucas' case. Things were a little on the weird and strained side when Keith started dating Karen. No one was angry about it, but there was definitely some awkwardness. After a while, however, things seemed to fall perfectly in place.

Holidays were always hard for Nathan, but Karen and Keith always made sure to take care of him. It was days like these were a small amount of guilt resided inside of him. As much as they denied it, he knew that his choice to move out had hurt them. He did appreciate them taking him in and he would spend the rest of his life feeling like he owed them something.

"I'm just saying," Keith said with a laugh, rubbing the now sore spot on his stomach. "When are you going to pick this mystery girl up?"

"I'm about to leave," Nathan mumbled, the butterflies taking flight in his stomach.

He was nervous, a good kind of nervous. He knew his family would love Haley, he had no doubt about that. But the implications of what all this meant scared him. He was beginning to worry that maybe he was moving things too fast for them. He was terrified of scaring her away. Things may have felt right for him, but that didn't mean Haley felt the same way.

This is exactly why he said he wasn't any good at relationships. He didn't have the first clue on how to handle situations like this. But he wanted to try and figure it out. For Haley and himself.

However, there was still things with Damien…no, he wasn't going to worry about that today. He promised himself that his family and Haley would be the only thing on his mind and he intended to stick to that.

"I better start putting together all of the embarrassing stories I have of you when you were little," Keith joked, his finger tapping against his chin as he pretended to be thinking.

"Uncle Keith…," Nathan warned.

"Oh, leave the poor boy alone," Karen effused, her smile spreading brightly across her face.

Keith placed a hand on his chest, feigning innocence. "I'm not doing anything. Besides, you know Danny would be doing the same thing."

Nathan's heart lurched at the mention of his father. Keith was right, Dan would have been all over Nathan bringing a girl home. He could practically hear some of the jabs and jokes Dan would've thrown his way. There was that pain in his chest again, a pain that he knew would always be there. It was bearable today, though.

"Yeah, he would've," Nathan agreed with a sad smile. Noticing the time, he quickly grabbed his keys off the table and headed out. "I'll be back soon!"

"Drive safe!" Karen shouted after him. She couldn't help but smile at his retreating figure. "He seems, dare I say it, happy."

Lucas sighed. "He has his moments."

"When are you bringing a girl home, Luke?" Keith jutted in.

Lucas groaned and rolled his eyes. "Please don't start."

"What? Aren't you interested in anyone? I'm sure there has to be some girl at school that's caught your eye," Keith continued to prod, ignoring the way Karen was snickering at the both of them.

"In case you've forgotten, I've been kind of busy taking care of my brother. I don't really have time for girls," Lucas muttered.

"There's always time for love," Karen pointed out. She walked over to her son and smiled as she caressed his cheek. "You've done a great job with Nathan and I'm so proud of you for that. You stepped up when he needed you the most. But, you can't keep putting your life on hold. I'm sure Nathan wants you to be happy, too."

Lucas smiled as he reached up and squeezed her hand that was on his face. "I know, mom."

"Good. Now, come and help me with this turkey. Keith always burns it."

~x~

"It's it just going to be us, your brother, Keith, and Karen?"

Nathan nodded as he adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. "My Grandparent's usually come, but my Grandpa had surgery on his knee a few weeks ago and isn't allow to travel. The rest of our family lives out of state."

"Oh," Haley muttered quietly.

Nathan resisted the urge to laugh as he snuck a glance at her. She hadn't stopped chewing on the inside of her cheek or playing with the necklace hanging around her neck since he'd picked her up. He found it quite adorable that she was so nervous to meet his family. "Relax, Hales. There's no need to be nervous."

"That's easy for you to say."

Nathan chuckled softly as he reached over the center console with his free hand. Lacing their fingers together, he squeezed her hand in an attempt to soothe her. "I promise you that they're going to love you."

She smiled shakily at him.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look?" He said appreciatively. It was a lame attempt at trying to distract her, but it was also completely the truth. Her ensemble was simple, from the maroon dress to her make up. She looked breathtaking, but he always thought that, no matter she was wearing.

Haley flushed, a smile forming on her lips. "Only about a hundred times today."

"Well, I just don't want you to forget," He chuckled, smiling cheekily at her. His smile faded a few moments later when he noticed a far off look on her face. "How are you doing today, baby?"

"I'm okay," She mumbled, but she didn't meet his eyes. She promised herself that she wasn't going to do this. She wasn't going to think about her mom or the tradition that she'd broken.

"You don't have to lie, Hales," Nathan reminded her, his thumb gently stroking the back of her hand.

"You have enough going on with your life, Nathan," Haley rasped. "My problems are miniscule."

Nathan immediately shook his head. "No, they aren't. You remember what you said to me the other day? About us basically being each other's therapists? You can always talk to me."

"She didn't even call," Haley finally answered after a few moments of silence. She cursed herself for the way her voice seemed to quiver slightly. "My mom knows how much Thanksgiving used to mean to my dad and after leaving me all alone, she didn't even had the decency to call."

There was a pang in Nathan's stomach at the shakiness in her voice. He wasn't sure what to say. He was never good at consoling people. But he wanted to find some way to take her mind off of it, so he said the first thing that came his mind. "Tell me about the best memory you have of your dad on Thanksgiving."

Haley furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"

Nathan chuckled. "Come on, just tell me. It'll help you take your mind off what's bothering you."

"Okay, um, probably when I was seven. We were hosting Thanksgiving at our house that year," Haley began, a smile involuntarily spreading across her face as she the memory came back to her. "The night before, I was helping my dad set the basement up. We were in charge of decorating. I remember complaining to him that I didn't want to sit next to my sister, Taylor, at dinner."

Nathan laughed at that. "What, why?"

"She used to drive me insane," Haley giggled. "She used to purposely sit next to me just so she could steal food off my plate or throw things at me."

"Wow, she sounds…great."

"We don't call her Hurricane Taylor for nothing," Haley chirped. "Anyway, he came up with this idea of making name tags and putting them on the table. People would have to sit at the place setting where their name was. We were up pretty much all night making these turkeys out of construction paper and making name tags out of them for every guest. It kind of became our thing after that."

Nathan smiled at the memory and at the way Haley's eyes seemed to light up. "It sounds like you guys were close."

Haley smiled sadly. "We were."

He squeezed her hand. "Are you sure that you're up for this today? Because we could turn around and go back to your house and watch movies or something?"

Haley shook her head. "No, it's okay. I could use the distraction."

It wasn't much longer that they'd arrived back at Karen's home. They quickly exited the car and headed inside, but not before Nathan reassured Haley one last time.

Haley's heart was pounding loudly in her chest as Nathan swung open the front door and they stepped inside. She was instantly met with the strong aroma of apple pie and vanilla. It reminded her a lot of how her house smelled when her mom used to cook. She found a comfort in that and smiled softly when the butterflies seized a little in her stomach.

Her eyes darted around the comfortably small living room. The walls were painted deep orange-red color and she didn't miss all of the family photos that were hanging proudly. She picked out Nathan in a few of them and made a mental note to look at them more closely later.

Her sweep of the room was interrupted when she a small, dark haired woman exited the kitchen, a warm smile on her face. She was drying her hands off with a blue dish towel and her hair was thrown up in a tight ponytail. Haley recognized her right away from the few times she'd seen Karen at the café. Up close, she definitely had this motherly glow to her. Her hazel eyes held a grave kindness to them, the slight wrinkles around them were almost unnoticeable.

For some reason, Haley felt her nerves completely dissipate in that moment.

"You must be Haley," Karen's sweet voice called out as she approached Haley.

Haley nodded, smiling back at her. "It's so great to officially meet you Mrs.—"

"Oh, none of that 'Mr. and Mrs.' crap. There's no need for formalities," Karen interrupted her with a laugh. "Please, call me Karen."

It took Haley by surprise when Karen pulled her in for a friendly hug. Her eyes snapped shut when the scent of fresh flowers surrounded her. Karen was exactly what Haley had pictured her to be—a sweet and loving woman who made it her life goal to make sure others were taken care of. When Karen broke the hug, Haley noticed an older man round the corner. She safely assumed that must have been Keith.

"Well, well, you, my lady, are far too pretty to be with my knucklehead of a nephew you here," Keith joked, his face mirroring the warm smile Karen had worn just moments before.

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Real nice."

Haley giggled as she nudged Nathan in the stomach with her elbow. "You must Keith, right?"

"The one and only," Keith said with a smirk as he reached out to shake her head. "We're happy that you're here."

Haley felt her cheeks flush at that, a grateful smile spreading across her face. She knew then that deciding to come here was the right decision. "I'm happy to be here. I would've brought a dish or a pie or something, but I wasn't sure what to bring. I asked Nathan, but he wasn't much help."

Nathan scoffed. "Yeah, sure blame it on me."

Karen shook her head as she laughed. "That would have been unnecessary dear, we have more than enough food here. Which reminds me, I should probably go check on my sweet potatoes!"

"Would you like some help?" Haley offered.

"Oh, no, that's perfectly okay. I have everything under control."

Haley shook her head. "I insist. Besides, I'm sure the boys are going to watch the football game, anyway. That's what my dad and brothers used to do."

Karen smiled as she reached to grab Haley's hand. "I guess it is always good to have an extra hand."

Nathan couldn't help but smile as he watched the two of the chat eagerly on their way to the kitchen. "I can't believe that we've only been here five minutes and Karen's already stole my girlfriend."

Keith slapped on a hand on to Nathan's shoulder, a smirk spreading across his features. "It's like it was love at first sight."

Nathan chuckled. "I guess I should've seen that coming."

"I'm surprised you didn't. Now, come on, let's go turn the game on before Luke gets wrapped up in some classical movie he's already seen a hundred times."

~x~

"Have you heard from Damien recently?" Lucas asked as he plopped down next to Nathan on the couch.

Nathan shook his head, his fingers involuntarily clenching around the remote he was holding. It always made him uneasy whenever Lucas brought up Damien. Even though Lucas now knew the truth and claimed that he was on board with whatever happened, Nathan still felt as if Lucas was disappointed in him.

"Not since a few days ago. His family goes to the Hamptons every holiday, so I probably won't hear from him for a while," He explained.

Lucas scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Must be nice to just jet off whenever you want."

"Yeah," Nathan responded, shifting nervously against the material of the couch.

Lucas noticed how uncomfortable Nathan was and let out a deep sigh. "Look, I know I haven't said it, but I am really am sorry."

Nathan furrowed his eyebrows, his head snapping up to look directly at Lucas. "What do you have to apologize for?"

Lucas nodded. "For not trusting in you. I jumped the gun when I saw you at Damien's. I should've have had faith in you, instead of thinking the worst."

Nathan dismissively shook his head. "I know how bad all of that looked, especially the fact that I was sneaking around. I probably would've reacted the same way if I were in your position."

"Do you really believe that this is going to work?" Lucas asked with a hard stare.

"I wouldn't have even thought about putting myself through this if I wasn't sure," Nathan said sincerely.

"Then that's good enough for me," Lucas said with a soft smile. "Where's Haley?"

Nathan felt a like a weight had been lifted off of him both at Lucas' words and at the topic change. "She's in the kitchen with your mom."

Lucas laughed. "Oh, boy, she got to her already?"

"Within the first five minutes that we were here," Nathan muttered, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"I warned Haley that this would happen," Lucas chortled. "What do you think they're talking about?"

Nathan grimaced at the thought. "Knowing your mom, she's probably grilling Haley about me."

~x~

"Nathan never did tell me how the two of you met," Karen commented as she continued to stir the gravy that was simmering away on the stove.

Haley had to pause to think before she responded to Karen. Nathan had become such a permanent fixture in her life in such a short amount of time that it was hard to think about what her life was like before him. She smiled to herself when the memory resurfaced.

"Oh, we were partnered up for this assignment in English class. We had to ask each other all of these really personal questions," Haley answered as she continued to roll silverware.

Karen laughed softly at that. "Let me guess, getting Nathan to answer those questions was like pulling teeth."

Haley nodded. "Yeah. Somehow, someway, I managed."

Karen smiled at Haley, taking this as an opportunity to really take her in. There was no denying that she was absolutely beautiful. But that wasn't the thing that struck Karen the most. The first thing she noticed about Haley was the genuine way she carried herself. She'd only seen Haley interact with Nathan for a few short moments, but she saw the spark between them right away.

She'd spent so many nights lying wide awake in her bed, worrying that Nathan would never snap out of the haze he was in. She also worried about Lucas. She saw how hard the past two years had been on him, as well. Seeing how Nathan was now…she felt a lot better. Lucas was right when he said Nathan was slowly coming around. Even Lucas seemed less stressed.

"I'm glad Nathan has you," Karen mumbled, placing her stirring spoon back on the holder.

Haley's cheeks flushed at her compliment. People kept saying things like that to her and she wondered if they ever took in consideration what Nathan did for her. "I'm lucky to have him."

"That sounds like something I used to say whenever people told me the same thing about Keith," Karen said with a smile, her hand falling to her hip. "You're also a tutor, right?"

"Yeah, it's kind of a new gig of mine. I never thought I would love it as much as I do," Haley admitted with a sheepish grin.

"It's always good to get involved in school. I was a cheerleader back in my day," Karen explained with a nonchalant shrug.

"I could see it," Haley prattled. "My friend, Brooke, is actually trying to get me to join her squad."

"You should do it!" Karen exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. "Some of the best days of my life were spent with those group of girls. Cheering at the games, going on the trips to the tournaments…you would have so much fun!"

Haley pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't think I would be very good at it."

"You never know unless you try," Karen reminded her. "Life is short, Haley. You gotta take chances and live a little. If it doesn't work out, at least you know you tried."

"That sounds a lot like something my father would say," Haley sniffed. In fact, it was something that her father had told her on many occasions. Her heart fluttered and she couldn't fight the smile that spread across her face. She took that as a sign that he was with her and that alone made a world of a difference.

~x~

Haley leaned against the wooden frame of the porch as her eyes did a sweep of the backyard. It was a small, but beautiful, kind of like the rest of Karen's and Keith's home. She found that she really liked it there and it looked almost exactly how she had pictured it in her head. Their home reminded her a lot of the café. The warm colored walls, the family photos in almost every corner, the strong smell of apple pie…it all felt like the quintessential perfect home.

Even Karen and Keith were just as she pictured. They seemed so happy and in love, despite all of the things that life had thrown at them. It made her smile the way that Keith would randomly kiss Karen or how Karen looked at Keith with such adoration in her eyes even when he was doing the most mundane tasks. And the way the cared about Lucas _and_ Nathan? It warmed her heart.

Just as Haley had expected, Karen had a heart of gold. She could tell by the way Karen talked about Nathan as they finished fixing up dinner that she cared a great deal for him. She realized quickly that he initial worries about fitting in with his family were unwarranted. Haley found it extremely easy to talk to Karen.

But as happy as being there made her, it also made her a little sad. Subconsciously, she had watched Nathan as he interacted with everyone there. He seemed at ease with everyone, but she could sense the longing and the envy. There was a hint of pain in his eyes and she was certain that he was thinking about his parents. Judging by the pictures she had seen and the stories she's heard of Nathan's parents, it didn't come to as a shock that Karen and Keith reminded him a lot of them.

Unexpectedly, she felt a surge of anger rush through her body—anger over the fact that Nathan's had to deal with so much undeserving pain. She reminded herself that life wasn't fair, good things happened to bad people and bad things happened to good people. But that just _wasn't_ fair and sometimes she couldn't accept the unfairness of it all.

The more she learned about Nathan, the more she was certain that he was one of the most selfless and caring person she had ever met. She may have still been in the dark about parts of his life, but she knew that no matter what he had done, none of it warranted his parents dying.

Haley's thoughts came to a screeching halt when she felt a pair of arms curl around her waist and pull into a tight embrace. Her body relaxed when the scent of Nathan's cologne surrounded her. She snuggled herself further into his chest, her arms coming to rest on top of his.

"What're you thinking about?" He asked, his hot breath ruffling her hair and tickling her ear.

"Honestly?" She quipped, a tiny smirk appearing on her face. When she felt him nod, her smirk turned into a smile. "You."

"Oh, really?" Nathan huskily laughed, causing a shiver to run down her spine. Her eyes fluttered closed when he began to place soft kisses against the skin of her neck. "What about me?"

"Just stuff," She choked out, inhaling sharply when he increased the pressure of his lips.

"Like how hot I am?"

Haley giggled when she felt him smirk against her skin. "Not exactly."

Nathan chuckled, his grip on her tightening. "Then, what?"

She chewed on her bottom lip as she internally debated on whether or not she should tell him. He was in one of those rare moods where he seemed carefree and happy. It was moments like that, that she wanted to cherish forever. She feared that if she bared her thoughts to him, she would ruin his mood. But when he prodded her again, his lips closing around a hypersensitive spot on her neck, the words came tumbling out.

"I was just thinking about everything you've been through."

Nathan stiffened, his heart beginning to slam in his chest. Slowly, he unwrapped his arms from his waist and gently turned her around to face him, resting his hands on her hips. The hard lines on his face softened when he saw the worried expression on her face. He expected to see pity shining in her brown eyes, but he was surprised when all he found was concern.

"Why?" He asked softly.

She took a deep breath and began to fiddle with one of the buttons on his black shirt. "I know that days like this are always hard for me, so I know that they must be even harder for you."

"They are," Nathan confirmed, swallowing hard.

"It's just…not fair," Haley murmured, repeating her earlier thoughts. "Your parents were such good people, they didn't deserve the cards they were dealt. My dad…he was a good guy, he didn't deserve what happened to him either. And you—you didn't and don't deserve to go through all of this pain."

"I don't know about that," Nathan mumbled under his breath, his eyes falling to the floor. It always made him uncomfortable when people tried to tell him that he didn't deserve the pain.

"You don't," Haley asserted.

Nathan exhaled deeply as he reached up to cup Haley's cheek, his thumb running along her skin. "What brought all of this on? Is it because of your mom?" She seemed a little keyed up about what she was saying.

"I guess," Haley said with a shrug. "But mostly I was just thinking about how it must feel for you to be here."

"For me to be here?"

"Yeah, Lucas kind of told me that you lived here for about a year…," Haley reveled, her voice trailing off at the end.

Nathan quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, he did, did he?"

Haley nodded slowly. "He also kind of told me that he thinks you moved out because it was too hard watching all of them be a family. Is…is that true?"

Nathan dropped his hands from her hips and ran one of them through his hair. He couldn't deny that he was a little annoyed with the fact Lucas had told her that. He wasn't expecting to have a conversation like this and he wasn't in the mood to, either.

"Lucas always was the perceptive one," He grumbled.

Haley cringed at the sharp edge to his voice. She could sense his walls start to come up and she mentally berated herself for being the cause of his shift in mood. "I shouldn't have brought it up, I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay." Nathan's body relaxed when he saw the apprehensive look on Haley's face. He shook his head as he let out a calming breath of air. "I just wasn't expecting you to say that."

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to," Haley mumbled quietly, although she wished to God that he would.

"He was right," Nathan admitted after a few seconds of silence. He found that it was becoming easier and easier to be open with her. Something that both thrilled him and scared him. "Living here—it felt like I was being suffocated. I love Karen and Keith. They've done a lot for me. But everywhere I looked, I was reminded of _them_. Eventually, it became too much to handle."

Haley closed the distance between them, cupping his face in her hands. Her heart was thrumming in her chest, her eyes shining with sadness as the pain in his voice washed over her. "I wish I could take you away from all of this."

"You do," He murmured sincerely, his arms twining around her waist. Leaning forward, he rested his forehead against hers. "Every time I'm with you, all of the pain and all of the guilt…it vanishes."

Her eyes fluttered shut, her hands falling to rest on his shoulders. Her lips tingled as his breath danced across them. She could feel the air around them shifting as he pulled her close, his hands massaging her waist. She sighed when his lips covered hers in a soft kiss. It wasn't long before Nathan slanted his head and kissed her deeper, his hands gripping her waist tighter.

Nathan wasn't sure what had come over him. Maybe it was the intensity of their conversation or maybe it was because he realized that he hadn't kissed her yet today, save the quick one he gave her when he first picked her up. He groaned when he felt her hands run through his hair, her fingernails scratching softly against his scalp.

Haley almost forgot where she was as she lost herself in him. There was a little voice in her head reminding her that they were standing on the porch of his family's house and someone could walk out at any minute. She allowed herself a few more seconds of bliss before she reluctantly pulled away.

"We can't do this," She breathed, struggling to regain some normalcy in her breathing and to clear the lust filled fog. "Someone could see us."

"We were only kissing," Nathan laughed huskily. He took in her flushed face and swollen lips, instinctively pulling her tighter against the length of him. He smirked when she visibly shivered. It was too bad that they couldn't sneaky away.

"Still," Haley protested, her voice quivering. "I don't think Karen would appreciate us making out on her front porch."

"It's not like we're doing this," Nathan rasped as he gently yet forcefully pushed her up against the paneling of the house. His hands remained on her waist and he pressed up against her, goosebumps forming on her skin when she gasped.

Haley's heartbeat accelerated to exceptional heights. She was trapped between the cool siding and Nathan's hard body. His cologne and close proximity was quickly making her dizzy. "Nathan—" She started to whimper, but was cut off by Nathan kissing her hard. Her hands shot up to his chest with full intentions on pushing him away, but when he nipped at her bottom lip, her hands fisted his shirt instead.

She wasn't sure how long they were kissing before her biggest fear had come true. She heard someone clearing their throat and almost instantly, she pulled away from Nathan. Her face felt like it was on fire when she noticed Keith standing a couple feet away from them. His eyebrow was arched, an amused yet incredulous look on his face. She glanced up at Nathan and was shocked to find him completely unfazed by the interruption. The smirk he was wearing only made her blush harder.

"I just came out here to tell you both that dinner's ready," Keith coughed, followed by an awkward chuckle.

"We'll be in, in a minute," Nathan promised, chuckling at the way Haley was nervously fidgeting.

Keith's eyebrow seemed to raise even further as he clicked his tongue. "Make it quick, you two. And I better not come out here in a few minutes and see clothes missing. I'm too young to be a Great Uncle."

"Oh, God," Haley squealed as she buried her head in Nathan's chest. If the ground opened her up and swallowed her whole, she wouldn't have complained. She didn't look up again until she was sure Keith was gone. She could feel Nathan's chest quaking with laughter. Looking up, she narrowed her eyes. "How is this funny?!"

Nathan shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal, Hales."

"Your uncle, whom I just met not even two hours ago, just caught us making out! I told you someone was going to walk out here! He probably thinks I'm a hussy or something now," Haley murmured, nervously tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. How could he not be making a big deal out of this? She was practically ready to die of embarrassment.

Running his hands up the length of her arms to her shoulders, she gave them a squeeze. "Trust me, he doesn't think that. He's walked in on Lucas doing a lot worse in the past."

Haley blanched at the image his words made. "Still. This was not the kind of first impression I wanted to make."

"Well, if you weren't so sexy, things like this would happen."

"Nathan!" She scolded him, her cheeks heating up once again. "He's probably mad at us and you're making jokes."

"Oh, I wasn't joking about the whole sexy thing," Nathan laughed as he shook his head. "And believe me, he's not mad. I've seen Keith mad and that wasn't it. Now come on, let's go inside before he comes looking for us again."

~x~

"I am so sorry to hear about your father," Keith consoled swallowing the piece of pumpkin pie he was chewing on.

Haley smiled sadly, a rush of calmness flowing through her when Nathan squeezed her hand. Dinner had gone extremely well. Karen's cooking was phenomenal and the conversations flowed nicely. The longer that she spent with the Scotts, the more she felt like she belonged. Keith and Karen asked her a lot of questions during dinner. Normally, she hated talking about herself, but with them, it was like she couldn't shut up. Eventually, she knew the topic of her father would be brought up. She felt the familiar sting in her chest when Keith had asked her what he father did for a living.

"Thank you," Haley murmured. "But, to answer your question, he was a musician. He spent most of his days at the piano or strumming his guitar. It used to drive my mom crazy."

"So I take it he wasn't a professional?" Lucas piped up.

"Not at all," Haley giggled. "He was an amazing singer and composer, but he never had any desire to make a career out of it. Us kids and my mom were usually his only audience."

Nathan smiled as he listened to Haley talk about her father. He loved the way her brown eyes sparkled and the way her smile stretched from ear to ear. There was a trace of sadness in her voice, but the joy of remembering her father seemed to outweigh everything else. Her strength never failed to take his breath away.

"Do you have any musical talent?" Karen asked, taking a sip of her tea.

Haley looked down as she began to toy with the hem of her dress. "I sang with my dad from time to time, but nothing too serious. My shower had been quite the audience, as well."

"You should sing for me some time," Nathan commented, his thumb stroking the top of her hand.

Haley's teeth sank into her bottom lip. "I'll have to think about it."

"Come on," Nathan tried to persuade. "I'm sure you're great. I can't imagine you ever being bad at anything."

"Gag me with a spoon," Lucas coughed from his seat. It was way too weird seeing Nathan be…charming.

Keith playfully kick Lucas in the shin from underneath the coffee able, causing everyone to laugh. "Oh, stop it."

"Okay, okay," Lucas conceded with his hands up in the air. Once everyone had calmed down, he turned to Haley. "You know, if you want, I could probably talk my coach into letting you sing the National Anthem at one of our games these year."

Haley vigorously shook her head. "You're sweet to offer, but I don't do well in front of crowds. I'd probably pass out or throw up or both."

"Ah, stage fright. That's a killer," Keith tried to console her.

Nathan glanced at Haley when a loud yawn escaped her. He chuckled to himself when she quickly reached up to cover her mouth, her cheeks tinting a slight pink. Leaning over he kissed her cheek quickly before whispering, "Are you getting tired?"

Haley nodded, another small yawn escaping her lips.

"I should probably get Haley home and then head home myself. It's getting pretty late," Nathan announced as he began to stand up from the couch, his fingers lacing with Haley's.

Karen glanced at the clock and her eyes widened in shock. "It's almost eleven. Wow! Time sure does fly when you're having fun." She placed her cup of tea down on the coffee table before standing up.

"We'll walk you out," Keith offered.

The four of them walked to the front door. Karen placed her hand on Nathan's forearm to stop him before he walked out the front door. She had been wanting to say something to Nathan all night and she knew that now was her last chance. He turned to look at her, his forehead creased.

"Do you remember what I told you at the café a few weeks ago? About how I missed you?" Karen began. When Nathan nodded, she continued. "I do miss you are the café, but I also miss you around here. Seeing you once or twice a year isn't enough."

Nathan smiled shakily. The truth behind her words was clear in her eyes and he felt a pang in his stomach. "I'll try to make it over here as much as I can."

"That's all I ask," Karen mumbled with a smile. "Oh, and one more thing, you better hold on to that girl. And tight."

"I plan on it."


	15. Chapter 15

Thank you guys so much for your reviews! I cannot believe that this story already has over 200 reviews! I can't even describe to you how much it all means to me. Last chapter was a nice break from all the angst and drama, right? I'm glad you all liked it, because well...I can't stray from angst too long ;) I'm actually really proud of the way this chapter turned out. I am a little nervous about how I portrayed Nathan and Haley's feelings in the ending scene. It made sense in my head and I'm hoping I wrote it in a way that will make sense to all of you.

I'm not gonna give you all some drawn out explanation, but updates may start to slow down after August 30th because I'll be back in school. I don't know how much they'll slow down because I'm not sure how rigorous my classes are going to be. However, I definitely will not be abandoning this story, so I hope you all won't as well :)

* * *

Nathan leaned against the counter as he watched Haley buzz around her kitchen. An amused smile spread across his face as he took in her appearance. Her curly hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun, a few ringlets spilling out of the hair tie. Her olive green shirt was spotted with flour, as were her jean clad thighs. Her pretty face was wrinkled in concentration, her eyes narrow and her lips pursed.

Never in a million years did Nathan think he'd find something as domestic as baking sexy, but then again, everything Haley did was sexy.

His eyes did another sweep of the kitchen, almost as if he was trying to memorize every square inch of the place. This was the first time he'd step foot into her house. He was surprised at how bare the place was. The creamed colored walls were scarce of decorations or family photos. Even the furniture was bland and basic. Although, the more he thought about it, a family who moved as much as Haley's probably didn't have time to thoroughly decorate their home.

Even with the simplicity of it, Haley seemed like she loved being there. She seemed like she was comfortable, moving around the house like she had lived there for years. A part of him wondered if she was like that in every place that she moved. With her strength, he couldn't imagine her not making the best out of a screwy situation. He found himself envying her, once again.

He was brought out of his thoughts when Haley let out an agitated sigh. Smirking slightly, Nathan made his way over to her. He placed his hands on her shoulders, massaging them gently. "Are you sure you don't need any help with this?"

Haley leaned further into his touch, goosebumps prickling her skin as his hot breath danced across her neck. She was stirring the bowl of cake batter and her arm was starting to cramp. "I think I'm okay. Leave it to Brooke to demand that I bring some fancy desert."

Nathan chuckled at the sour edge to her voice. "Are you always this intense when you bake?"

Haley smiled sheepishly, her shoulders sagging a little. "Unfortunately. I get that from my mother."

Nathan smiled as he circled his arms around her, pulling her further into his chest. Haley's fingers trailed against the length of his arm, dropping the mixing spoon into the bowl. "Well, luckily for you, watching you bake is kind of turn on for me."

Haley laughed, despite her reddening cheeks. "Now, I know you're lying. I have flour all over me and I'm all sweaty. I'm sure that's real attractive."

He chuckled huskily, his lips brushing against the side of her throat. He smirked when she shivered in his arms. "I'd never lie about you being sexy."

Haley wanted to roll her eyes as he overly cheesy words, but the way he was kissing her neck prevented her from doing anything but melting into his embrace. She shivered again when his hands began to stroke her stomach. His touch was muted by her shirt, but it still managed to light a fire inside of her. It was always moments like this that brought a little fear forth inside of her. She always believed that the first time she had sex, she would be in love and maybe married. But every single time Nathan kissed her neck like he was or touched her like he was, she was tempted to throw all caution to the wind. His effect on her scared her.

"Y-you're distracting me," She stammered, her grip on his arm tightening. With her free hand, he stilled one of his wandering hands and squeezed it firmly.

"Oh, am I?" He murmured innocently, his kisses trailing up to the shell of her ear. He knew he would have to pull away soon, but he was determined to lose himself in her scent and taste for as long as possible.

"Nathan," Haley protested again, her voice sounding a lot weaker than she would have liked. "Unless you want to deal with Brooke's wrath over why we're late, you better stop that."

Nathan sighed as he reluctantly distanced himself from her, but not before pecking her on the cheek. "Fine, but I'm only stopping because Brooke scares me."

Haley giggled as she glanced at him from over her shoulder. He was leaning against the counter opposite of her and rolling up the sleeves of his navy sweater. "You didn't have to come over so early. We don't have to be at Brooke's until 7:30."

Nathan shrugged. "I know, but Jake wanted Lucas and me to go shopping with him for a new shirt. I kind of told him that we had plans."

Haley's mouth dropped open in mock offense as she whipped around to face him. Her hand fell to her hip. "So, I was just your scapegoat?"

Nathan smiled sheepishly. "Yes?"

Haley laughed, shaking her head. She turned her attention back to the batter was mixing. "You're really pushing your luck today."

"I'm only joking," Nathan laughed. Even though her back was to him, Nathan knew she was smiling. Glancing at the clock, he swallowed hard when he saw they only had about three hours until Brooke's friendsgiving or social gathering or whatever the hell she called it.

He felt silly for being as on edge as he was. He knew everyone that would be attending this dinner and he guessed he could call most of them his "friends." Jake and Lucas were his friends, Haley was his girlfriend, but the rest of them? He was certain they still saw him as the bad guy the rumors made him out to be.

There was this feeling in the pit of his stomach that he couldn't shake. It felt like dread and anxiety balled up into one sick emotion. Nathan was never one for social gatherings of any kind. They made him uncomfortable and this was no different. More times than not, he would force himself to attend just to appease Lucas or Jake. It would take a great deal of strength, but he managed. He wasn't sure if he could manage tonight.

"I don't think I should go tonight." Nathan hadn't realized he voiced his thoughts out loud until Haley swiveled around to look at him. Her features were wrinkled in confusion and concern.

"Why do you say that?" She asked as she placed the mixing bowl in the sink. She had just finished pouring the batter into a baking pan.

Nathan's shoulders slouched as he stuffed his hands into his jean pockets. "I don't really know any of your friends. I feel like I'd be intruding."

Haley narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "You wouldn't be intruding! That's the whole point of this dinner. Besides, Lucas and Jake will be there. I will be there."

"I know," Nathan sighed. "I don't know…"

Haley smiled softly as she approached him. She could tell he wasn't telling her the whole truth. He was avoiding her gaze and he was acting skittish. "What's the _real_ reason you don't want to go?"

"That is the real reason."

Haley shook her head. "I don't buy it. Talk to me, Nathan."

"How do you do that?" Nathan asked with wide eyes. That voice in his head told him that Haley being able to read him was one of the worst things that could possibly happen. Later, it would probably come to bite him in the ass.

"Do what?" She questioned with an innocent smile.

Nathan dragged his fingers down the length of her arms. "Read me like a book."

Haley shrugged. "Just one of my many talents. Now, tell me."

Nathan stayed quiet for a few seconds as he starred into her prodding eyes. When she motioned for him to start talking, he conceded. "I have this weird feeling. I don't exactly know how to explain it. I guess…I guess I'm just not used to _this_ —being with friends, people other than Lucas and Jake. I guess there was Damien, but his crew weren't really my friends—"

"I see you've picked up my habit of rambling," Haley cut him off, a teasing smile on her face. She wrapped her arms around his torso and ran her hands along his back in a soothing manner. The internal struggle and vulnerability he was dealing with was clearly written all of his face.

"I guess I have," Nathan nervously chuckled, his arms instinctively wrapping around her.

"There's nothing for you to feel weird about or to feel nervous about. Brooke wouldn't have invited you if she didn't want you there," Haley reminded him.

"I know that," Nathan muttered, a shudder running through him. "I'm just being ridiculous."

Haley shook her head, quickly dismissing that feat. "Not at all. Just know that I'll be by your side all night."

Nathan smiled as he pulled Haley in closer, kissing her softly. She always knew just what to say to settle him. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"Tell me something I don't know."

Nathan chuckled as he leaned in to kiss her again, but was cut off when the timer on the oven went off. A soft groan escaped Nathan when she pulled away from him and Haley couldn't help but giggle at the pout on his face.

"Saved by the bell," Haley quipped as she bounced over to the oven. Opening the latch to the oven, she carefully placed the cake pan on to the heating rack.

Nathan rolled his eyes good-naturedly. He took this as a time to take a look around the family room adjacent to the kitchen. The family room was just as bare as the kitchen with neutral colored furniture and painted walls. His eyes fell to the only picture frame in the room, resting on the mantle above the fire place.

Picking it up, he trailed his eyes over the group of people in the picture. It looked to be a family photo—one that wasn't of professional quality, but instead taken on a disposable camera. The people were all smooshed together and instead of posing, there was this systematic disarray between them all. Some were laughing. Some looked to be shouting but their eyes remained playful. It was absolute chaos, but in a beautiful way.

His eyes drifted to a young girl in the center of the photo. She was almost lost in the chaos of everyone else, with her small body and short height. Her hair was a reddish brown and was piled on top of her head in a messy ponytail. Clasped between her small arms was a well-worn teddy bear. Out of everyone, she was the only one looking at the camera and smiling. Without having to ask, Nathan knew that little girl was Haley.

"Are these all your brothers and sisters?" Nathan asked, turning to face Haley.

Haley approached him while nodding her head and drying her hands with a kitchen towel. "That would be them."

He smiled as his fingers dusted over the glass. "You seem like a tight knit family."

Haley smiled, but there was a small spark of sadness. "We are. It's gotten kind of hard over the years since everyone's in different places in their lives and they're spread out all over the U.S. But, I still talk to my siblings a lot and we try to get together for as many holidays as we can."

"Just not Thanksgiving?" Nathan muttered as he placed the picture back in its respective place on the mantle.

"Thanksgiving is hard. Not everyone gets the same time off for work. And for my siblings that are married, it's usually the case that they spend Thanksgiving with their spouse's family so they can spend Christmas with our family," Haley explained.

Nathan nodded. "It just sucks that you guys couldn't all be together for Thanksgiving, especially since it was your dad's favorite."

Haley shrugged. "I'll take what I can get."

~x~

"I cannot believe you invited him," Julian hissed, his voice low and stern. His fists were clenched into fists as he glared at Brooke.

Brooke rolled her eyes as she continued to set the table. She had a feeling Julian was going to end up pissed when he found out who all the guests were, but she was getting tired of his unnecessary hatred towards Nathan. "He's Haley's boyfriend and he's starting to become one of our friends, so yes, I invited him."

"You don't even know him, Brooke!" Julian argued. "And you're just letting him into your life."

Brooke slapped down the last set of silverware and twirled around to glare at Julian. "Neither do you! I've known you since eighth grade and I have never once seen you talk to him or hang out with or anything."

"I know a lot more about him than you think I do."

"If you're going to continue to be cryptic about all of this, then you're going to have to get over this irrational hatred towards him or at least cover it up, because I'm getting sick of it. Haley's happy and as far as I can see, Nathan's nothing like the rumors make him out to be." Brooke didn't give Julian a chance to respond as she strutted away from him. Today was going to be a good day and she wasn't going to let her boyfriend's issues stand in the way of that.

She stomped back in the kitchen and whipped open the wine cabinet. Without a second glance to Haley or Peyton, she grabbed a bottle of red wine, a cork, and a glass. Angrily, she popped he cork and filled the glass to the brim.

"Damn, who pissed you off?" Peyton joked as she popped a piece of bread into her mouth.

"Just my lovely boyfriend," Brooke snipped before taking a large gulp of her wine.

Haley frowned. "Are you guys still having problems?"

Brooke sighed as she pressed her palms against the cool granite of her counter top. Closing her eyes, she tried her best to retract her anger. "We're not really having 'problems' per say, he's just been acting very…not himself lately."

"Have you taken the time to really sit him down and talk about it?" Peyton offered up. "There could be something going on at home or something like that, that's causing him to act this way."

"It's not something at home, trust me," Brooke mumbled lowly.

"Then, what is it?" Haley prodded further. Before she had a chance to answer, a light bulb went off in Haley's mind. "Wait, does it have to with Jake?"

Turning around to face them, Brooke leaned back against the counter. Crossing her arms over her chest, she chewed anxiously on the inside of her cheek. "It's not just Jake that he's unhappy we're hanging out with."

"Who else?" Peyton asked, pursing her lips.

Avoiding Haley's concerned eyes, Brooke stared hard at the title floor. "Nathan."

Haley's eyes widened at that. "Nathan? What, do you have some kind of past with him, too?" She meant for her voice to be playful, but it came out a lot sharper and more accusing than she wanted.

Brooke was quick to express her denial of that statement. "No, not at all. But, I think Julian does."

"Julian and Nathan were friends?" Peyton questioned with a kinked eyebrow.

"I don't think so," Brooke muttered. "I don't really know. He's just been _very_ against us hanging around Nathan. He always says such cryptic things about how he's not a good person and how we should listen to the rumors, but he never explains anything more than that. I've asked him, but he completely shuts down."

Haley's stomach knotted up. "Do you think that maybe he's just buying into all of those rumors?"

Brooke shook her head. "I wish I could say that, but it seems deeper than that. Personal, even. Has Nathan ever mentioned anything about Julian to you?"

"Not once," Haley asserted after raking her brain for a few moments.

"I'm sure it's nothing," Peyton piped up, trying to be the peacemaker. "Julian's a hot head and his reasoning could be something as simple fantasy football."

Brooke shrugged. "Maybe."

"Look, let's not worry about it right now," Haley decided. "Today is supposed to be a bonding experience and it's supposed to be fun."

"You're right. I shouldn't have let his attitude bother me," Brooke conceded.

"That's the spirit!"

~x~

"Wow, Brooke, I didn't know you could cook," Jake marveled as his eyes scanned over all of the food littering the red clothed table. The plethora of food was a lot more than necessary to feed the seven of them, but no one was complaining.

"I don't," Brooke said with a laugh, carefully placing the bowl of freshly baked rolls down on the table. "But, the chef that my parents hired can."

"Your parents hired a chef?" Lucas asked with wide eyes, pulling a chair out from the table and then sitting down.

Brooke nodded proudly, plopping down in a seat next to Julian. "I can't cook and neither can either of my parents, so we just pay somebody to do it for us."

"Must be nice," Jake muttered.

Nathan chuckled at the playful bantering ensuing between his friends. He was surprised at just how easily the two groups of friends meshed together. He expected there to be moments of awkward tensions or clashing personalities. It almost felt as if they'd all been friends for years. The swirly and anxious feeling was still weighing heavily in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't shake it no matter how hard he tried.

It didn't help matters that Julian Baker's eyes seemed to be following his every move. His incessant staring wouldn't have bothered him, but there was something more to his gaze. It wasn't the usual prodding eyes that most people stared at him with, there was a sliver of burning hate. It was a glare that could've paralyzed him if he let it.

Nathan couldn't make sense of it, so he tried his hardest to ignore it. To his knowledge, he'd never spoken Julian. They'd been in quite a few classes together since grade school, but they'd never shared more than simple greetings.

Haley must have sensed his discomfort, because the next thing he knew, her small hand was wrapping around his. Her fingers caressed his skin, squeezing it softly. Meeting her gaze, he felt like he could breathe again when she smiled warmly at him.

She leaned closer to him. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I was just thinking."

Before Haley could answer, Brooke clapped her hands together to get everyone's attention. "I'm not one for speeches and I figured that preparing a speech for something like this would be extremely cheesy, so I'm just going keep this short and simple. I'm so glad we could all be here today. I have a pretty good feeling that this I just the start to a beautiful friendship. Well, dig in!"

"This all looks amazing. Good idea, Brookie," Jake complimented, sending a wink her way. He reached over the table to grab the mash potatoes, dumping a healthy serving on to his plate.

"Brookie?" Julian asked sourly. "What kind of name is that?"

Jake shifted nervously in his seat. "Oh, um, that's just something I used to call Brooke when we were kids."

"How cute," Julian muttered sarcastically.

"I thought it was," Brooke shot back, sending a warning glare Julian's way. "Jake used to have nicknames for all of us when we were younger. I never hung out with Lucas or Nathan, but Jake used to refer to them 'Lukey' and 'Natey."

Lucas grimaced was he wacked Jake on the shoulder with his napkin. "You did not call us that behind our backs!"

Jake tossed his head back as he laughed. "Oh, yes, I did."

"That's okay, we called you Jessica behind your back," Nathan revealed, smirking.

Everyone laughed at that, while Jake just glared.

"What were you guys like when you were younger?" Haley found herself asking as she cut up her turkey.

"Inseparable," Lucas said with a bright smile. "We hung out pretty much any moment that we weren't in school. The River Court was our hang out spot. We definitely spent more time there than anywhere else."

"We used to just lay in the grass and play cards games or with our toy cars. It wasn't until Nathan got us into basketball that we did anything else," Jake explained as he chewed his food.

Haley's head whipped around to look at Nathan. "You introduced them to basketball?"

Nathan shrugged nonchalantly. "I wouldn't say I introduced them. I just begged them to play for a while until they eventually gave in."

"You played for the Ravens in ninth grade, didn't you?" Peyton asked.

Nathan scratched the back of his neck, a sure sign of his discomfort. "I never really got to play. It just didn't work out."

"Varsity," Brooke blurted out. "You made Varsity as freshman. I remember you were like the talk of the town."

Nathan chuckled nervously. "I guess you could say that?"

"You should really try out again this season," Peyton proposed. "The team could really use you, especially since they only have those two bozos to depend on."

"Hey!" Lucas shouted and Peyton just laughed.

"That is not the first time I've heard that," Nathan mumbled.

"Well, maybe you should take that as a sign," Haley said softly, winking at him.

"Do you want some more sparkling grape juice, Hales?" Nathan asked, noticing that her glass was empty. At this point, he was desperate for any kind of reprieve from this current conversation.

Haley nodded, chuckling softly to herself at his quick move to change the conversation. She knew it made him uncomfortable, but she saw that as a good thing. It meant that basketball still meant something to him and that meant hope. "Oh, yeah, that'd be great." She picked up her glass and handed it to Nathan just as he was standing up.

"Careful, he might roofie your drink, since you know, it's kind of his thing," Julian muttered slyly, his eyes cutting into tiny slits.

"Julian!" Brooke gasped at his icy tone and evil insinuation. His cool words had come out of thin air. He was starting to act like a child and she was at her wits end. She reached out to grab him. Her eyes widened in shock when he aggressively grabbed her hand and ripped it away from him. Never in their whole relationship had Julian ever touched her like that.

Nathan froze. "Where the hell did that come from?"

Julian chuckled dryly as he pushed his seat back and stood up. The whole time he was at this ridiculous dinner, he had been biting his tongue. Every time he saw Nathan, his whole body tensed and this blinding rage surged through his body. He tried to ignore it, but it soon became too strong. He couldn't stand just sitting there and letting everyone relax in his presence. It wasn't right. Nathan deserved to pay. Fuck the high road.

"It's the truth isn't it? You slip something in girl's drinks, have your way with them, and then toss them to the curb." He turned to Haley. "Better be careful, Haley. You never know when he'll decide to take advantage of you, too."

Haley felt her skin turn clammy. She glanced at Nathan and her stomach clenched when she saw the ghost-like expression on his face. He wasn't saying anything, but she could clearly see he was trembling. Where had Julian gotten an idea like that from? She'd heard a lot of screwed up rumors about Nathan, but nothing along the lines of what Julian was suggesting.

"Nathan wouldn't do something like that," Lucas chimed in.

"Your parents must be real proud of you," Julian sneered, ignoring Lucas. His eyes seemed to shift from their usual brown color to a raging red. He walked around the table so that he was standing directly in front of Nathan.

Nathan's jaw clenched. Placing the glass back down on the table, his hands flexed into tight fists. "What is your problem?"

"My problem?" Julian asked incredulously, a humorless laugh leaving his lips. "It figures you wouldn't remember. It always works that way, doesn't it? The victims are left with all of the haunting memories, while the perpetrator is granted with graceful bliss."

He moved to step closer to Julian, but halted when his felt Haley jumped up, her hand pressing against his chest. That haunting feeling in his stomach intensified. From the moment the word "roofie" left Julian's mouth, he knew that this conversation was about to take a dark turn. "I don't know what the hell you're trying to accuse me of, but I can tell you right now that you're wrong."

Julian snapped at that moment. He was in Nathan's face with a heartbeat, pushing Haley out of the way in the process. She stumbled backwards, effectively colliding harshly with the dining table.

"Julian, stop it!" Brooke pleaded, but he didn't budge.

Nathan's blood boiled when he heard Haley yelp in pain. He made a move to dash to her aid, but Julian pushed him back. It took everything in Nathan to not pummel him to the ground.

"You don't get to deny this! I know what you fucking did to my sister. You took her life and you destroyed it," Julian seethed, his eyes alight and his chest heaving with anger.

Every muscle in Nathan's body suddenly felt like it was covered in a sheet of ice. He couldn't recall a time he had ever gone from so furious to so scared in such a miniscule amount of time. A feeling of dread swallowed him whole. Slowly, he started putting the pieces together and the foundation of his world started to shake. "Y-your sister?"

Julian snarled, the venom in his voice was practically palpable. "Quit playing fucking stupid! You know what you did to her. Because of you, she barely eats. She doesn't sleep. Do you know how many times I wake up to her crying in the middle of the night? If it wasn't for everything that I have on the line, I would kill you and not feel one ounce of guilt over it."

Nathan swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest. He knew exactly what Julian was referring to and it made him sick. Panic. That was the only emotion he could feel. It felt like he was losing his footing as everything seemed to crumble around him. All of the darkest parts of his memory resurfaced in one instant and he felt like he couldn't breathe. "Julian, it's not what you think, okay? I didn't—it wasn't me."

"Are you calling my sister a liar?" Julian barked back, the volume of his voice rising even louder.

Nathan shook his head. "No, that's not what I'm doing."

"There's a special place in hell for guys like you," Julian declared. "Does Haley know you like to prey on the weak and innocent? Does she know the kind of sick bastard you are?"

"Julian—"

"I bet that fire your parents died in wasn't even an accident. They probably killed themselves because they found out what kind of a sick prick you really were and wanted a way out."

Nathan lost all sense of time and place in that moment. It was like his brain short circuited and everything turned black. The only thing he felt was an unfathomable amount of burning rage. The next thing he knew, his fist connected with the edge of Julian's jaw. He heard yelling. He felt people pulling him in every direction. But it all felt miles and miles away. It was like his soul had left his body and he was just a shell of a man.

~x~

His heart was pounding as he eyes remained fixated on the closed bedroom door. Lucas had grabbed Julian before he could retaliate and Haley ushered him off to one of the bedrooms in Brooke's house. His leg was shaking up and down, while his uninjured hand gripped the bedspread beneath him. The pain in his hand was a dull ache, his knuckles stiff and throbbing. He could hear the commotion of hushed anger and justified reprimands through the thin walls. He should have been out there to hear all the horrible things they would inevitably be saying about him. They couldn't blame anyone but him.

The scene kept playing over and over again in his head. It had been a while since his anger had snapped so quickly. Nathan wasn't sure what had come over him. Julian's cold words had struck a nerve so deep inside of him that the only thing he could focus on was fury. It clouded all of his sense and the version of himself that he'd spent so much time burying erupted at the surface.

Regardless, he shouldn't have punched Julian. He regretted it even before his fist came in contact with his jaw.

Nathan's heart was in his throat when the bedroom door opened and Haley walked through. She hadn't said much to him since the incident happened and he hated the silence that laid between them. It didn't help matters that she looked angry. It was an emotion that he had yet to see on her and it caused his stomach to knot up in guilt. Her lips were pressed into a hardline and he was scared to look in her eyes. He didn't want to see the disappointment or that hint of recognition that maybe he wasn't the guy she thought he was. That would surely kill him.

Haley remained silent as she walked up to him. It was then he noticed the white towel and bag of ice clasped in her small hand. He watched as she gingerly grabbed his injured hand and gently pressed the bag of ice against the wound. He flinched slightly at the coldness and the sting of pain that shot through him. Her warm fingers wrapped around his wrist, but she refused to look at him, something that he was both thankful for and hurt by.

The silence was loud and suffocating. Nathan swallowed hard as he tried to come up with something to say to her. Did he apologize? Did he explain why he did it? An apology didn't seem like it was enough and an explanation wasn't possible. He was stuck no matter what way you looked at.

"Hales…," He whispered hoarsely, his gaze begging her to look at him. He wasn't sure what he was going to say, but he couldn't take the quiet any longer.

Haley shook her head softly, pushing him back to silence. She didn't want to talk, not right now. She was still reeling from everything that had happened. Julian's taunting words were just another reminder that there was still a part of Nathan that she had yet to see. She'd been ignoring that fact for a while now, because she believed he would open up to her on his own time. Now, she was starting to wonder if maybe ignoring it wasn't the best option.

The part of it all that stuck with Haley the most was Nathan's reaction to Julian. The fearful fire in his eyes and the menacing scowl on his face reminder her a lot of his reaction towards Damien, only…scarier.

She was angry, but she wasn't sure what she was angry at. Julian shouldn't have taunted Nathan the way that he did. He was cruel and his actions were uncalled for. Nathan shouldn't have reacted the way he did, either. And he was—

"Please, Haley," Nathan pleaded. His free hand moved to rest over hers, his fingers curling around it and squeezing it gently.

Despite herself, she looked up. Her expression softened when she saw the desperate way that Nathan was looking at her. His blue eyes were pleading with her and for the first time she finally understood the meaning of being defenseless.

"I shouldn't have punched Julian. I-I'm sorry," He apologized, his voice barely above a whisper.

Haley sighed as she licked her lips. "It's okay."

Nathan shook his head. "No, it's not. I ruined dinner and your friends probably hate me right about now."

"I think Julian ruined our dinner way before you threw that punch," Haley muttered with an awkward laugh. "And they don't hate you. In fact, I think Brooke is angrier at Julian than she is you."

"Julian didn't do anything."

Haley furrowed her eyebrows. He was blaming himself for the entire situation. She might have been unhappy with the way he chose to handle things, but she didn't blame solely him. Removing the ice from his hand, she placed it on the bedside table before wrapping her arms around his neck. "Babe, he was provoking you. Punching him probably wasn't the best solution, but you're not the only one at fault."

"What if the things he said were true?" Those words slipped out before Nathan had a chance to take them back. His blood ran cold as the panic etched its way on to Haley's face.

Haley's heart lurched in her chest. "W-were they?"

Nathan swallowed hard. That piercing look of fear and bewilderment flickered in Haley's eyes. The panic threatened to paralyze him. She could find out the truth and then it would be all over. "Hales, it's not what you think. I didn't—I couldn't—it's not what you think."

"Then, what is it, Nathan?" She asked calmly. She wasn't going to allow herself to jump to conclusions.

He shook his head. "I can't."

Haley sensed him pulling away from her and she knew she had to act fast. There was a feeling in the pit of her stomach that she wasn't going to like what he had to say, but she needed to know. Her arms dropped from around his neck and her hands cupped his face, the pads of her fingers moving in soothing circles against his skin.

"You can trust me, Nathan," She promised.

"It's not about trust," Nathan clarified shakily, making sure that his gaze never faltered from hers. "I trust you, Haley. Probably more than anyone."

"Then, why can't you tell me?"

His breathing was heavy as his chest tightened. He could feel the words on the tip of his tongue. It would take no effort to spill every secret hidden in the dark and dusty corners of his mind. It was the aftermath he wasn't prepared to deal with. "It's…you won't look at me the same."

A small smile graced her lips as she leaned forward and pressed a delicate kiss to the corner of his mouth. "There is nothing you could say to me that would make me run away from you." She spoke with a fierce conviction. She truly believed that. Maybe it was naive. Maybe it was reckless. But the way she felt about Nathan, the way she saw the guilt and pain he carried with him every day...she couldn't imagine abandoning him over anything.

"You don't know that," Nathan countered uneasily. "You don't know everything from my past."

"You're right, I don't," Haley agreed. "But, what I do know is that whoever you were in your past is now who you are now. I don't care about the past Nathan, I care about _this_ Nathan."

"I just can't," He mumbled lamely. He felt a piece of his heart break when a defeated look crossed Haley's features. Her hands fell from his face and he was quick to grab her wrists before she pulled away from him fully. He ignored the bout of pain in his right hand. "Hales, please…just listen to me."

She gave in a lot quicker than she wanted to. She pulled her bottom lip in-between her teeth as she gave him the nod to go on.

"I want to tell you," He declared honestly. "God, you don't know how badly I want to tell you everything. But, I'm scared. I'm scared of what will happen if I tell you. To me and to you. I'm not ready to visit that part of my past again, yet. You have to believe me, Hales."

"I do believe you," Haley breathed out. She wanted to try and coax him into telling her more, but the fear in his eyes had those words lodging themselves in her throat.

"Please, be patient with me." He felt rueful repeating those same words to her. Patience was a virtue of Haley's, but even he knew it was a limited supply. There were only so many times he could roll that line out before it lost its meaning. But for now, he was hoping it bought it him a little more time.

"A promise is a promise, right?" Haley murmured, a small yet shaky smile spreading across her face.

Nathan had never felt more grateful for Haley than he did in that moment. He gripped her hands tighter as he pulled her in for passionate kiss. When he pulled away, they were both breathless. He leaned his forehead against her, his eyes still closed. "It won't always be like this, I _promise_."

The only question that remained was could he keep that promise? Was he strong enough?


	16. Chapter 16

Some big things are starting to happen...dun, dun, dun. This chapter is the start to a turning point for Naley, they just doesn't know it yet, hehe. Which explains why this chapter is a little bit shorter than previous ones. It serves as an intro to kind of the second phase of this story. I have been absolutely dying to get to this part of this story because I have so much planned. Some good, some bad...but more good than bad ;)

I know a lot of you have been wondering about/hoping that Nathan has a future with the basketball team. I'm not going to give anything away, but just know that I wouldn't be bringing up Nathan and basketball so much if I didn't have a purpose for it.

* * *

Nathan leaned back in the office chair, the hard plastic digging harshly into his back. His legs were crossed at the ankles and his hands were clasped together, resting behind his head. He glanced around the familiar dark blue walls of Principal Turner's office. Not much had changed since the last time Nathan had stepped foot in in that box of a room, not even the feeling of rabid irritation that was currently flowing through his veins. He rolled his eyes when he glanced at the clock. He had been sitting in that stuffy office for almost thirty minutes.

His first two years at Tree Hill High had warranted for quite a few trips to the Principal's office. Teachers would send him as a reprimand for mouthing off or for causing multiple disruptions in single class periods. He would roll his eyes, mumble a few expletive words, and truck his ass down to the office. Principal Turner would give the same speech about how delinquent behavior wasn't tolerated and his parents would be disappointed in him. Every time, Nathan tuned the speeches out. It wasn't some of his proudest moments.

After his parents passed, his trips to the Principal's office became less frequent and the reason for them changed drastically. Principal Turner's once authoritative and demanding talks turned into soft whispers and inspiring quotes. Once a month, like clockwork, Principal Turner would call Nathan into his office to "check on him." Nathan preferred the lectures over those pity formalities any day. He _hated_ pity. People only felt sorry for him because they were relieved they weren't him.

Nathan knew Principal Turner meant well and he hadn't meant to be so bitter about it, but he also couldn't find the means to care to change his attitude.

The sound of the office door creaking open had Nathan tilting his head back. Principal Turner made his way into the office, a welcoming smile on his face. Facing forward, Nathan inwardly cringed as he mentally prepared himself for the looming conversation.

"Sorry about the wait, Mr. Scott. A parent wanted to speak to me," Principal Turner apologized as he smoothed out his gray tie and slid into his desk chair.

Nathan remained silent, except for a small grunt of acknowledgment.

"I'm sure you know exactly why I called you in here," He continued with a small smile, his hands folding together on the polished desk. Nathan swore that Principal Turner only smiled like that around him. "How are you doing, Nathan?"

Nathan shrugged as he rolled out his usual response to that question. "Good."

"I heard that you're dating Haley James," Principal Turner said next, clearly oblivious to Nathan's lack of interest and discomfort in their conversation, as he always was.

Nathan scoffed as he sat forward in the plastic chair. This was definitely a new topic of conversation. "Since when do you pay attention to the love lives of students?"

"I don't," He reassured Nathan, still maintaining that sickeningly sweet smile. "But, that doesn't mean that I don't hear the rumors."

For the most part, Nathan always kept his answers to Principal Turner's inquiries as vague as possible. He felt that same need with his relationship with Haley. Principal Turner was the type of person who acted as if he knew exactly what Nathan was going through. He'd try to relate his personal experiences to Nathan's situation and most of the time, it came off as insensitive. He wasn't in the mood to deal with that.

Clearing his throat, Nathan nodded his head. "We've been together a little over a month."

"She's a remarkable student and an amazing tutor. I think she would be good for you," Principal Turner raved, his eyes widening in appreciation.

"Uh, yeah, she is," Nathan agreed awkwardly. Something about discussing his love life with his principal felt a little…odd.

Principal Turner sighed as he sat back his desk chair, his elbows leaning on the arm rests. Finally, that smile melted off of his face and Nathan felt like he could breathe again. He laced his fingers together and placed them on his lap. "Look, Nathan, I can tell that you're not a fan of these meetings. But, I know that your parents would have wanted me to check in on you every once in a while. You know your dad…"

That was the point in the conversation where Nathan usually tuned Principal Turner out. He'd heard this speech about a million times. It was all about how Dan Scott was such a pioneer when it came to the history of Tree Hill High School. Dan had donated so much of his time and money to the school, something that he had zero obligation to do. While Nathan was proud of his father for that and took pride in the fact he was related to such a man, he was bored of hearing the same old spiel.

Plus, it hurt a lot less to not listen.

"…but, there is another reason why I called you in my office."

Nathan's head shot up when the tone of Principal Turner's voice unexpectedly changed. He sounded more serious, the friendly and light mood completely dissipating from the room. It had been so long since Principal Turner had talked to him in that way. Nathan watched with anxious eyes as he reached into his desk and pulled out a rather thick file.

"I asked your teachers to give me a progress report for the semester. A few of them have expressed concern about your grades. Presently, you aren't failing any of your classes, but a lot is riding on your midterms," Principal Turner explained as he flipped through the contents of the file. "Your teachers have been very graceful about being lenient on you, given everything that you've been through. But, you need to show some initiative and effort, as well."

"What do I need to do?" Nathan asked, straightening his posture. It took Nathan a minute before he realized what he'd said and the shock wasted little time to wash over him. He never cared about school or his grades before. This time, something felt different.

Principal Turner pushed one of the loose pages he was shuffling through towards Nathan. With his index finger, he pointed out what all of the different numbers and symbols meant. "You have to get at least a seventy—seventy five, in some classes—on your midterms in order to pass. If you don't, then you won't be able to graduate come the spring."

The things Nathan felt in that moment were completely foreign to him and completely unprecedented. He found himself…worried. The threat of not graduating felt like a dark and gloomy cloud hanging over him. It wasn't like he suddenly had an intense interest in school, but he didn't _not_ care, either. It seemed to throw him completely off kilter. His future suddenly had meaning to him.

"Since it's the last week before holiday break, most of your teachers will be finishing up any new material for the semester. When we return to school in January, you'll only have a little less than two weeks before midterms. So, I suggest that you spend some time over break studying. Maybe you could ask Haley to help you out," Principal Turner offered up. "Or, if you aren't comfortable with that, the Tutoring Center is full of great tutors. I could set you up with someone."

Nathan swallowed thickly, shaking his head. "No, I, uh, I'll talk to Haley."

~x~

Haley tightened her sweater further around her body as another shiver tore through her. Goosebumps prickled the exposed skin her sweater didn't cover and her teeth were clattering together. She looked over at Brooke and Peyton from across the lunch table, her mouth dropping open in disbelief when they seemed completely unfazed by the weather. They looked relax, lounging in long sleeved t-shirts and thin sweaters.

"How are you guys not freezing?" Haley forced out through her chattering teeth.

Brooke crinkled her nose at Haley's crouched posture and insistent bouncing—her attempt at maintaining at least a little warmth in her body. "Tutor Girl, it's almost sixty-five degrees, that's a lot warmer than it normally is for this time of year."

"Sixty-five degrees is cold!" Haley argued.

"I forgot that you're accustomed to California weather. Isn't it still like ninety in December?" Brooke asked wistfully. "I'd love to spend Christmas tanning on a beach."

"Besides being warm, it's not all what it's cracked up to be," Haley muttered. "Now Christmases in Tennessee? Those are amazing."

"Too southern slash redneck-y for me," Brooke dismissed with a wave of her hand. "Speaking of Christmas, have you decided what you're getting Nathan yet?"

Haley shook her head as she sighed heavily. "I haven't got a single clue."

Haley and Nathan never had an official conversation over if they were exchanging gifts of not, but Lucas had let Haley in on a little secret. Evidently, Nathan had been "bugging the shit" out of Lucas on how to shop for a girlfriend for Christmas. Initially, Haley had found that comical, until she realized that she didn't know how to shop for a boyfriend.

"You could always get him a new leather jacket, because no offense, the one he has now is a little…well worn," Peyton suggested with a curt giggle.

"That's a good idea! It's something he needs and it's safe," Brooke encouraged.

Haley pursed her lips and shrugged her shoulders quickly. "I guess I could get him that. But, I was hoping to get him something…more meaningful."

"Lingerie," Brooke quickly suggested. "No boyfriend would protest that as a gift, trust me."

Haley nervously laughed as she ducked her head, sufficiently hiding the blush that was coloring her cheeks. "Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen either."

"Why not?" Brooke asked with furrowed eyebrows. "Lingerie is the perfect way to spice things up in the bedroom!"

Haley shook her head vigorously, the ends of her hair whipping against her face. "I don't think—"

"Oh. My. God," Brooke suddenly gasped, her mouth falling open and her eyes going wide. "You and Nathan haven't had sex yet!"

Haley cringed at Brooke's loud volume, her cheeks flaming a brighter red. "Would you keep your voice down?"

"Sorry," Brooke mumbled, although in Haley's opinion, she didn't look all that apologetic. "I just can't believe you guys haven't slept together, yet."

"Brooke," Peyton started with a laugh. "Not everyone jumps in bed the first chance they get."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "I know that P. Sawyer, but she and Nathan had this major sexual tension vibe going on between them. They were practically having eye-sex every time they saw each other. I figured they'd jump each other's bones in no time."

"We were not!" Haley loudly denied, embarrassment warring irritation. "How did you even figure out that we haven't…you know?"

"Remember that sixth sense thing I told you about?"

"Oh."

"You know…sex would be a pretty good Christmas gift, too," Brooke giggled.

"Ignore her," Peyton said, knocking her shoulder against Brooke's lightheartedly.

Brooke opened her mouth to respond, but her mouth fell closed when she spotted Julian walking past their table. They locked eyes for a brief moment and Brooke's features turned ice cold. Cutting her eyes away from him, her fingers curled around her water bottle in a tight fist. Her drastic change in mood and the lingering eye contact between the two exes didn't go unnoticed by Brooke's surrounding friends.

"Have you and Julian talked at all since you guys broke up?" Peyton inquired gently.

It was going on three weeks since Brooke's 'friendsgiving' and her subsequent break-up with Julian. Picking a fight with Nathan had been the last straw for her. Additionally, the way Julian had spoken to her and the way he'd roughly put his hands on not only her, but Haley as well, really made her choice to break-up with him a no-brainer. She tried to talk to him after Lucas and Jake had ushered Nathan out of the room, but he wasn't listening.

He was completely blinded with rage over whatever reason he had to hate Nathan. If he wasn't going to tell her anything, she wasn't going to beat it out of him. He was no longer the Julian that she once knew. She wasn't going to sit around and let him take her down with him as he spiraled out of control.

"Not really," Brooke finally answered. "He's called me a few times, but I haven't answered."

Peyton sighed as she tossed an arm around Brooke's shoulders. "You should talk to him, Brooke. I'm sure you guys could work it out. You've been together far too long to just give up like this."

"I don't know," Brooke mumbled sadly. "I still love him and I don't want this to be the end, but he's just not _my_ Julian, anymore. He's so…consumed by this hatred that he has. He was never like this before until…"

Haley swallowed hard when Brooke trailed off. Guilt bubbled up inside of her. "I am so sorry. I feel like this is all my fault."

Brooke was quick to shut down Haley's apologize. "Please stop apologizing, Haley. It's not your fault at all."

"Yeah, but—"

"No, buts," Brooke insisted. "My issues with Julian aren't whatever his issues are with Nathan. My issues are with how he's dealing with it and how he's treating me in the process. If he wasn't being such a Grade A asshole about it all, things would be completely different."

"Okay," Haley conceded, taking a mental note of the sincerity that colored Brooke's words.

"Wow, speak of the devil," Peyton mumbled, nodding her head towards an approaching figure.

Haley whipped around to see Nathan walking towards them. A smile instantly illuminated her face when they locked eyes. He smiled softly back at her, before crouching down and pressing a quick kiss to her lips. Nodding his acknowledgement towards Brooke and Peyton, he slid into the spot next to Haley at the table.

Unlike Brooke and Julian, things had been going exceptionally well between Nathan and Haley. They spent a vast majority of their time together, even stopping by Karen and Keith's house every once in a while. The topic of what happened at Brooke's was one that they readily avoided. It was still in the back of Haley's mind, but she couldn't find the heart to pressure him about it. She trusted Nathan and she believed that when he was ready, he'd let her in. Despite that, she'd never felt closer to him.

"What's on your mind?" Haley questioned, taking notice of how tense Nathan looked. His forehead was creased with worry and his leg hadn't stopped shaking since he'd sat down.

Nathan was about to shake his head and brush off her concern, but he stopped himself. He looked over at her and took a shaky breath. He was surprised at just how nervous he was. He knew there was no reason to be ashamed, but asking for help was never something he liked to do, regardless of the situation.

Now was one of those times where he needed to learn how to swallow his pride.

Clearing his throat, he shifted his body so that he was facing her head on. "Do you, uh, remember what you told me on our first date? How you'd tutor me if I wanted you to?"

Haley nodded her head, her eyebrows furrow. "Yeah, of course. Why?"

Taking one last calming breath, he plowed forward. "I just talked to Principal Turner and in order to graduate, I have to pass all of my midterms with at least a seventy-five. D-Do you think you could help me?"

Haley smiled brightly at him, her nose crinkling in a manner that he could only describe as absolutely adorable. "Of course."

"Are you sure? I know that you already have a full roster of tutors and you have your own classes to worry about."

"I'm positive," She promised. "How about we start tonight?"

"I, uh, I'm doing something with…Lucas, after school. But why don't you come over around 5?"

She nodded. "Sure. Just make sure you have everything that you're going to need help with."

~x~

"It's about damn time your ass decided to show up," Damien goaded as he swung the pool house door open wide enough for Nathan to walk through.

"I had something to do," Nathan mumbled as he reluctantly followed Damien through the beach house.

A month had passed since Nathan first agreed to join Damien again and he still hated every single second that he had to spend in that godforsaken pool house. It made things a little easier now that Jake and Lucas knew the truth. He hated lying to Haley though. So far, he'd done a pretty good job of crafting lies about where he was going…something that he despised himself for. She was putting so much of her trust in him and the last thing he wanted to do was break that trust.

He was going to have to tell her everything, eventually…he knew that. He kept pushing it off and thankfully, Haley hadn't pressed him on the issue since Brooke's dinner. It was always there in the back of his mind, though. Every time he thought about telling her the truth, he became paralyzed with fear. It felt like a large hurtle that he just couldn't find the height or the strength to jump over.

He kept telling himself that he needed to open up to her completely and he knew that he eventually would…he just needed it to be the right time.

The worst part of it all was that Nathan felt as if he'd reached a standstill with Damien. He could tell by shifting eyes and prodding questions every time they "hung out" that Damien still doesn't quite trust him. It's completely aggravating, but precedent. He figured Damien wouldn't have welcome him back with open arms and loose lips. But that didn't mean it didn't get aggravating, especially when Damien had forced him to do countless things that he didn't want to do—drink until he puked, conduct drug deals, etc.

The last breakthrough he had was finding that packaging on the bathroom floor and with every second that ticked by with nothing but silence, was another second he felt himself racing towards insanity.

"Was it with Haley?" Damien inquired, wiggling his eyebrows at Nathan.

"Your obsession with her is getting borderline creepy," Nathan shot back, his jaw clenching. It was getting harder and harder to keep his anger in check, especially with all of the crude comments made about Haley on a daily basis. But, he knew capitalizing on his anger would cause a lot more harm than it would good.

"Dude, I'm just waiting for you to get done with her so I can take my turn," Damien said with a wink. His hand swatted at Nathan's shoulder.

Nathan clenched his jaw, his fists involuntarily tightening. He wanted to spit out "over my dead body", but he held back. "I don't think you're her type."

"If she fell for you, then I'm definitely her type," Damien laughed loudly.

Nathan chose to ignore him. His walking came to a screeching halt when he realized they were standing just outside of Damien's office. His stomach knotted uncomfortably and a thin layer of cold sweat coated the back of his neck. "Why are we here?"

Damien smiled and it was one of those sinister smiles that makes your stomach twist. "Because, my protégé, you have finally earned your privileges back."

Nathan's heart stopped as he watched Damien reach into his pocket to retrieve the office key. He thought to himself that there's no way he could possibly be that lucky, but when Damien swung his office door open and waved him in, he felt like jumping for joy. If Damien was about to do what he thought he was going to do, his previous aggravation would completely disappear.

Walking further into the office, Damien plopped down in his office chair and immediately kicked back, his feet on the table and his hands behind his head. "I gotta say Scott, you've really surprised me."

Nathan hesitantly walks further into the office, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Surprised you?"

Damien nodded. "I always knew the _real_ you was buried somewhere inside of you. I figured I would have to do some major corrupting to bring him out. I didn't think it was going to be so easy."

A sour taste slipped up Nathan's throat. He wasn't sure what scared him more—the fact that his acting was _that_ believable or that maybe Damien was right and the "real" him was threatening to break from the seams.

"With that being said, I think you've managed to prove your loyalty quite well to me," Damien announced, his smile widening. "Back in the day, you used to be the one I could count on when it came to…recreational shipments."

The beating of Nathan's heart was loud in his ears as he fought to curb his anxiousness. "Meaning?"

"Meaning…I want you to be that guy for me again."

Nathan almost swallowed his tongue. Being that guy meant having access to Damien's files…more importantly…the logo. "Really?"

Damien nodded, his eyes cutting to a thick coldness that Nathan couldn't recall ever seeing in him. "But, just know that if you cross me or make me regret this, I swear to you, a little fire at your parents' house will be the least of your worries."

~x~

"So, all you have to do is make sure you solve the logarithm. Once you do that, you just input those numbers into the equation, solve for x, and then you're done. Make sense?"

Silence. Haley quirked an eyebrow. "Nathan?"

He still didn't move. His gaze was fixated on the open math book in front of him, his chin resting on his folded hands. The foot that was dangling off his bed was shaking nervously, rocking the bed slightly with each movement.

Leaning forward, she hovered her lips right over his ear. "Nathan!"

That surely got Nathan's attention as he shot up. Glancing over at Haley, he sheepishly smiled when he saw the amused expression on her face—an eyebrow arched and her lips curled upwards in a smirk.

"I zoned out on you again, didn't I?"

"I'm afraid so."

Nathan rubbed at his eyes as he gave his head a give shake. "I'm sorry, Hales. I just really, really hate math."

"Well, you're going to really hate if you have to take it again because you failed your midterm and next time, I won't help you," Haley pointed out.

Nathan narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you always this mean with your tutees?"

Haley shrugged innocently, smiling softly at the cute pout adorning Nathan's face. "If it's necessary."

Nathan chuckled, before turning serious. "I really am sorry. I asked you to help me and I repay you by zoning out. I'm just so—"

"Stressed?" She filled in for him. When he nodded, she pushed her notebook out of the way and scooted across the bed so she was lying directly next to him. Resting her head against his shoulder, her fingers soothingly ran over the veins in his hands. "You're going to be fine, because I'm going to help you and those midterms don't stand a chance."

Nathan smiled gently at her as he felt his heart swell. He wasn't sure he was ever going to get used to the way she cared for him. And while he was stressed about his grades, he was more stressed about Damien. He finally had his in and the threats that came with that were monstrous. Deciding to push those thoughts of his head, he leaned forward pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

A light pink blush dusted her cheeks. "You keep telling me that and one of these days, my ego is going to explode."

Nathan just shook his head.

"I think I have an idea on how to make you less stressed," She murmured as she pushed herself off the bed and rested back on her knees. "Take your shirt off."

Nathan's head whipped around. His eyes were wide with surprise, but he couldn't fight the smirk from spreading across his face. "Oh, I definitely like where this is going already."

Haley's cheeks flushed further when he wiggled his eyebrows at her. "A massage, you dork."

Nathan laughed as he sat up and pulled his red t-shirt over his head, tossing it to the side. "I figured, I was just messing with you."

The teasing environment melted away as Haley's eyes racked over Nathan's naked chest. She was well aware of how in-shape he was, but it always caused her body to heat up whenever she had the privilege of seeing him shirtless. She felt a brief moment of reprieve when Nathan laid back on the bed, until she realized his back was just as muscular as his chest.

Taking a cleansing breath, Haley straddled his hips.

"I _really_ like where this is going," Nathan murmured huskily.

Haley swatted at his back as she giggled. She could perfectly picture the smirk she knew Nathan was sporting. Once Nathan's laughter had died down, she instructed him to close his eyes and relax. When he seemed relaxed enough, she gently began to knead the flesh of his back. His skin felt hot beneath her finger tips and she smiled when he let out an appreciative groan.

All of the tension in his body seeped away with every rub and squeeze of Haley's hands. All thoughts of Damien and school melted away, leaving Haley as the sole focus of his thoughts. He groaned when her hands pressed against a certain sensitive spot. Her touch was slowly driving him mad. His skin felt like it was blistering as everything seemed to pull inside of him. He wasn't sure what it was- the feel of her hands on his bare skin or the way her thighs were squeezing his hips, but he was quickly becoming aroused. When she leaned forward and pressed a delicate kiss against his shoulder blade, he lost all control.

She gasped when Nathan suddenly turned over, his hands gripping her waist in his hands. The gasp quickly turned into a small moan when she felt the effect her massage had on Nathan pressing against her. She felt her body heat up even further when she noticed the unadulterated lust swimming in his eyes. In one swift movement, he had her on her back and his lips were feverishly moving over his.

Haley was acutely aware of the spiral notebook pressing into her back, reminding her that they needed to be studying. But when Nathan nipped gently at her bottom lip, all thoughts of stopping flew out the window. She moan in protest when he pulled away from her lips, but was quickly rewarded when he kissed the corner of her mouth, across her jaw and down her neck.

A breathy sigh escaped Haley's lips as her nails scraped against the smooth skin of Nathan's back, causing him to buck against her, pushing her further into the mattress. Her hands trailed further up his body until they were buried in his hair, holding him against her neck. She began to rock her hips into his, desperately searching for some kind of friction to quell the raging inferno that was quickly spreading through her body.

Nathan felt like he was going to combust with the way Haley's hips were grinding into his. His groan was muffled by her skin, his lips nipping more forcefully against her neck. His eyes were practically rolling to the back of his head as he tried to maintain some semblance of control. Her fingers alternated between stroking his back and pulling on the strands of his hair, all of which were turning him on even more.

He couldn't get enough of her. The way she tasted of something so sweet and something so innately Haley, the soft sighs leaving her lips, her wandering hands…it was all so damn addicting.

They'd shared quite a few heavy make out sessions before, but something about this one felt different. The intensity in their kisses and touches were fiercer…more desperate. There was a charge in the air and Nathan suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe. Kissing Haley and just simply touching her brought him a type of pleasure that felt too good to be real.

Pulling away from her neck, he swallowed thickly when he saw the small blotch of red skin. Haley breathlessly moaned his name, one of her legs curling around his hip and he knew that he had to stop. If he didn't now, he wasn't sure he'd be able to.

"Hales," Nathan groaned, his voice heavy with lust. He squeezed her waist gently. "You've got to stop that, baby."

She was breathing hard as she reached up to palm his cheek, her neck craning to rest her forehead against his. The sound of their harsh breathing swallowed the silence in the room. A shiver ran down her spine as she stared into his darkened eyes. She didn't want to stop. There was a fire licking up her spine and she wanted more. She noticed that his hands had remained on her waist the entire time they were kissing. It both warmed her heart and aggravated her because she _needed_ more.

"Touch me, Nathan."

Nathan heart started hammering in his chest. "I'm already touching you," He teased, more for himself than her.

Haley gently wrapped her fingers around his wrist and tugged his hand upwards. His mouth felt as dry as sandpaper when she placed his hand over her breast. Covering his fingers with her own, she showed him exactly how she wanted him to touch her.

Swallowing hard, he looked up at her with questioning eyes, confusion warring with arousal. His throat closed up when he took in her appearance—kiss swollen lips, flushed cheeks, and eyes dancing with lust. She was so goddamn beautiful and he knew he could never tell her no, even if he wanted to.

"H-Hales, are you sure?"

Haley's heart gave a slow thump at his obvious concern. This whole situation scared her to death, but she didn't want to think, she just wanted to feel. It felt right and she didn't want to question that.

"Just keep touching me, please," She breathed out.

Not needing to be told twice, he dove in to kiss her again as his hand continued to gently squeeze and caress her t-shirt clad chest. She moaned into his mouth when he gently pinched at her nipple, her foot stroking the back of his jean covered leg. She broke the kiss moments later, her head titling back and burrowing further into the pillows.

"I need more," She desperately gasped. Later, she would probably be embarrassed by her needy whine, but right now, she didn't care. Heat pulled in the pit of her stomach as she squirmed against him. It all felt like too much, yet not enough at the same time. She felt like she could combust just from his hands on her breasts and his mouth of her neck, but it still just _wasn't_ enough. It had to be a sin to be feeling as good as she was.

He was painfully hard at this point, but at that moment, that was the least of his concerns. Watching Haley wither in pleasure and beg for more was more than enough for him, and we wanted to do anything he could to keep that look of pure ecstasy on her face.

"I want to try something," He said thickly. "Do you trust me?"

With her eyes hooded and her bottom lip secured between her teeth, she nodded her head.

Keeping his eyes trained on her face, he slowly moved his hand down her body. He caressed the soft and smooth skin of her exposed stomach from where her shirt hard ridden up. When he reached the button of her jeans, he paused. His heart was pounding in his chest as he waited for the "okay" from Haley.

Haley's heart was in her throat. The butterflies in her stomach threatened to eat her alive. She knew they were about to take a giant step forward in their relationship and it terrified her beyond believe. But it was a toe-curling and adrenaline pumping kind of fear.

Scraping her teeth against her bottom lip, she gave him the go ahead.

"Tell me if you want to stop," Nathan mumbled lowly, his eyes never leaving hers.

His heart skipped a beat as he fumbled to undo her jeans and pull the zipper down. Slowly, he slid his hand underneath the hem of her jeans and his eyes nearly crossed when he felt the heat emanating from her. Her eyes fell closed and a breathy moan fell from her lips as he gently stroked her through her underwear.

"N-Nathan, please," She begged, her hands gripping his comforter tightly. His slow pace was driving her wild.

Smirking, he increased the pressure and speed of his movements. He nearly groaned when Haley's back arched off the bed, her hips undulating against his hand.

"How does that feel?" He asked her gruffly.

"So…so good…f-faster, please," She babbled. Her whole body felt like a coiled spring just waiting to snap. Her toes curled into the bed when he began to stroke her faster. She was a hundred percent convinced that it was a sin to feel as good was she was feeling. She grabbed his wrist, her finger nails digging into his skin. "Oh, God, Nathan."

He couldn't look away. He knew she was close and when he began to suck on the sensitive spot right under her ear, she snapped. He nearly let go with the way his name dripped off his lips in breathy moans. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her face was flushed beautifully.

Quickly, she yanked his hand away from her, her body buzzing sensitively. It took her several moments to calm her breathing, before she was able to open her eyes. She smiled lazily at Nathan who had yet to take his eyes off of her.

"How do you feel?"

"Amazing," She gushed.

"If that's how all of our tutoring sessions are going to go, I'll definitely pass all of my midterms with flying colors."

Haley gasped, giving him a playful shove and Nathan fell to the bed, laughing.

~x~

Haley smiled blissfully as she entered the front door of her house. Her body was still tingling with pleasure and she physically felt like she was floating. A small part of her felt embarrassed for being as girly as she was about what had transpired between her and Nathan a couple of hours ago. She felt like a cliché teenager girl stuck in one of those ridiculously cheesy and cliché romantic novels.

But, God, how could she not?

The way Nathan had touched her…the way he kissed her…the way he _looked_ at her—she was done for. She always imagined herself being a fumbling and nervous mess when she first _progressed_ in her relationship with a guy, and while she was incredibly nervous, something about Nathan's attentiveness soothed her fears. He was so gentle with her and never once pushed for more than she was willing to give.

She never knew something could feel so sinfully good and her cheeks heated up as the moment replayed in her head. Haley couldn't believe how daring she had been—telling him exactly what she wanted and not being embarrassed to do so. Something about that moment just felt right. It was terrifying yet absolutely exhilarating at the same time.

Keeping the same enamored smile on her face, she walked further into the kitchen. Haphazardly, she tossed her book bag on one of the kitchen chairs. The TV in the living room casted a blue glow across the entire kitchen, but she didn't see her mom occupying the couch like she usually did.

"Mom?" Haley called out, her eyebrows furrowing. Walking further into the room, her heart started to hammer in her chest when she noticed the glass of wine tipped over on the cherry wood coffee table. The red liquid was a puddle on the table, a few drops slipping from the edge. Her heart completely stopped when she saw the tips of her mother's fingers peeking out from the side of the couch.

With an uneasy stomach and heavy breathing, Haley darted around the couch and fell to knees in front of her mom. The once polished woman was sprawled out on the ground, a bottle of pills loosely gripped in her left hand. The cap to the bottle was gone and a few white pills scattered the carpet. It was in that moment that she felt her world stop turning.

"Mom! Oh, God. Can you hear me? Mom!" Her pleas were desperate as she shook her the woman lying next to her. When she received no response, fear and panic completely devoured her.

Everything around Haley became blurry as her body moved on autopilot. Her ears were filled with white noise. The only sound she could clear hear was the rapid beating of her head and her heavy gasps for air. The sheer adrenaline coursing through her veins allowed her to scramble for the telephone, her trembling fingers fighting to dial 911.

"911, what's your emergency?"


	17. Chapter 17

This chapter took me a lot longer than I wanted it to. I got a shit ton of homework thrown at me at one time and that's literally all I've been doing. Speaking of which, the next month is going to be crazy busy for me. I have a few hefty papers that are due within the last two weeks of September/first week of October. And then the first weekend of October, I'm going out of town for a wedding. Then, the second weekend of October I'll actually be in Wilmington for the OTH convention. I'm not exactly sure if or when I'm going to have some free time to crank out the next chapter. I really hate to do this to you guys and I really hope that it doesn't take an entire month for me to update, but I'll have to see what happens. I thought I at least owed you guys a warning!

Moving on to the chapter, I have a really good feeling about this chapter. It was one of those things were I felt like I was effortlessly typing and all of the words just seemed to flow out without much thought. I hope y'all enjoy!

P.S. I know I originally said this story was going to be about 30 chapters. I think it might end up being a little more than that. I revised my timeline over the weekend and switched some things around. I don't want to rush through anything, so I think it might end up being about 33-34 chapters.

* * *

Haley couldn't sit still. Her leg was incessantly shaking and she couldn't stop twisting her fingers together. Her skin felt like it was crawling, goosebumps covering every inch of her flesh.

Were hospitals always this cold? Were they always this noisy? Did they always smell so...chemical-y?

Her head felt cloudy as she glanced around the waiting room. Brooke and Jake were sitting on a couch directly across from her. Their mouths were moving, but all she heard was static. Lucas had just returned from the cafeteria, handing Peyton a bottle of water. She could vaguely remember Lucas asking her if she wanted anything, but she couldn't remember if she answered him or not.

She supposed that all of her friends coming to her rescue should have warmed her heart, and maybe, deep down, it did. But, right now, she just felt numb. There was a gaping hole in her chest where her heart used to be. An uncertain darkness filled that gap, threatening to swallow her whole.

Even Nathan's hands—one rubbing her back, the other one squeezing her knee—were doing little to evoke any kind of feeling inside of her. She could feel his piercing eyes burning into her skin. His gaze hadn't strayed from her once since he arrived. There was a small part of her that wanted to look at him and tell him that she was going to be okay, but the lie was lodged in her throat.

All she kept seeing was Lydia's body sprawled out on the tan carpet of their home—her skin pale, her veins a cool blue, and the bottle of opened pills in her hand. There was only one other time in her life when she had felt that kind of pain. It brought her back to the moment she found out her father had passed and she wasn't sure whether to be furious or lament about that.

How could her mother possibly…

She couldn't finish that thought, she couldn't let her mind go there. If she admitted it to herself, then it would become real. She needed to believe that her mother wouldn't do something like that, for her own sanity. Right now, she needed to not think. With the way her mind was racing, thinking was her enemy.

"Ms. James?"

Haley's head snapped up at that, her body going frigid when she saw the doctor standing in the doorway to the waiting room. He was a middle-aged man, with sandy blonde hair and bright green eyes. The smile on his face was gentle and his eyes were droopy, most likely a product of a long shift. Swallowing hard, she jumped up from her seat. Nathan wasn't far behind her, his hand remaining squarely on the small of her back.

"I'm Dr. Benson, we met briefly when you came in," He began, smiling again. Haley bitterly wondered if he always had that smile on his face, regardless if it was bad news or good news he was delivering. "Your mother was very lucky. You called 911 just in time."

Haley pursed her lips in response.

Clearing his throat, Dr. Benson continued.

"We were able to remove the alcohol and medication from her system by pumping her stomach. She had a high dosage of Diazepam, a common sleeping aid, in her system, along with a BAC of .19."

Haley's stomach knotted up, a queasy feeling coming over her. "Is she going to be okay?" It hurt to talk. Her throat was parched and scratchy.

Dr. Benson sighed. "Physically, she should make a full recovery. However, suicide attempts are never something that should be swept under the rug. Has your mom ever attempted to harm herself before?"

 _Suicide._

She felt her knees buckle and Nathan's arm quickly banded around her waist to steady her. Hearing the word out loud hurt more than she anticipated it to. Her throat closed up even further as she weakly shook her head.

Dr. Benson smiled again, and Haley wanted nothing more than to smack that stupid grin off his face. "We are associated with a few different rehab facilities and psychologist offices that would be happy to assist her. They both have excellent suicide and alcoholic recovery based programs. They're all volunteer based, but I think it is something you should discuss once she comes to."

All Haley could do was nod her head. Dr. Benson mentioned something about being able to go see Lydia, but Haley felt as if her feet had become cemented to the ground. She watched as Dr. Benson walked away, her heart thumping loudly in her chest as she processed everything he had just told her. It was a lot to take in—rehab, therapy, alcoholism, suicide…her head felt like it was spinning.

Nathan stepped in front of her, his hands sliding up her arms and then, resting on her shoulders. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern, his eyes clouded with worry. "Hales, do you, uh, want to go see her? I can take you."

She shook her head. She wasn't sure she could physically handle seeing her mother right now.

"Are you sure?" Lucas spoke up, cautiously walking towards her. "It might help. I'm sure she'd be glad to know you were there."

Haley shook her head, again. Her chest felt like it was caving in. "I don't want to see her."

"Haley." This time it was Brooke who was trying to coax her.

"I need some air," Haley choked out as she shied away from Nathan's touch. The white hospital walls were closing in on her and her skin was starting to feel clammy.

"I'll come with you," Nathan offered as he started to follow her.

"No," Haley snapped back. "I want to be alone."

Nathan's shoulders slumped as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. There was a feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him that leaving her alone wouldn't be a good idea. "Hales…"

Her lips were pressed together in a hard line, her eyes stern and narrow. "I _need_ to be alone, Nathan."

He sighed in defeat. He really didn't want to let her go alone, but he was well acquainted with the look of determination on her face. He watched in sadness as she turned her back on him and headed towards the exit.

~x~

Nathan refused to take his eyes off of Haley. She was sitting on a bench right outside the emergency entrance to the hospital. Her knees were pressed to her chest and her arms were wrapped securely around her legs. It was taking everything in him to not go to her and pull her in his arms. Seeing her like that was hard, but being at a loss of how to help her was even harder.

Sensing someone next to him, Nathan glanced to his left to see Lucas standing there. He was sure the solemn expression on Lucas' face mirrored his own. Running a frustrated hand over his face, Nathan exhaled deeply.

"What am I supposed to do, Luke?" He asked shakily.

The corners of Lucas' mouth twitched into a slight, sad smile. "Exactly what you've been doing—just be there for her."

"It doesn't feel like enough," Nathan retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm so worried about her, man. You should have seen her when I first got here. I don't think I've ever seen someone cry that hard. And now, she's just…blank. She's usually so strong and to see her crumble like this—"

"Nathan," Lucas cut him off. "It's going to be okay. _She's_ going to be okay."

"But what if she's not?"

Lucas chuckled softly as he shook his head. "She will be. Like you said, she's strong. She's going to get through this with the help of all of us, especially you. You just gotta continue to be there for her, whatever she needs."

"I plan on it," Nathan declared.

Lucas smiled. "Good, now come on, let's go get some coffee. I have a feeling it's going to be a long night. I already called my mom and had her call us in sick for school tomorrow."

Nathan shook his head. "I'm not leaving her."

"Nathan, you're just getting a cup of coffee, not leaving the state," Lucas said with a quiet chuckle. "Besides, some of these nurses are starting to think you're like a stalker or something. I even heard one of them say they're thinking of calling security."

Nathan rolled his eyes. "I'm sure."

"I'm serious!" Lucas insisted.

Nathan sighed as he glanced one last time over at Haley. She hadn't moved much. As much as he didn't want to leave her, he figured that a few minutes couldn't hurt. Accepting Lucas' offer, they headed back to the waiting room. Peyton was laying down on one of the couches, while Jake and Brooke were watching the news on the TV. Brooke was curled up in Jake's side and despite everything, Nathan smiled at them. Glancing briefly at the TV, he caught wind of the newscaster saying something about a thunderstorm rolling in.

"How is she?" Jake asked when he spotted them.

Nathan shrugged as he grabbed a styrofoam cup from the stack of them and began to fill it with coffee. "Alright, I guess. She's sitting on a bench right outside."

"I didn't even know her mom was an alcoholic," Brooke mumbled quietly, picking at the skin around her nails. Her voice was laced with guilt.

"She never mentioned it to you girls?" Jake asked, shocked.

"I mean, she was drinking a few we were over her house, but I never got the impression she was an alcoholic," Peyton joined in. "Did she ever mention it to you, Nate?"

"No," Nathan muttered. He felt like a terrible boyfriend. Lydia drinking excessively would have obviously effected Haley in different ways and he felt like an idiot for not catching on to any of the signs.

"You would think that would be something that she would mention, to at least one of us," Brooke said with a sigh.

"Maybe she was embarrassed," Peyton supplied.

Lucas nodded towards Peyton. "That's a possibility."

"I wish she would have told me," Nathan murmured.

A loud boom of thunder and a flash of lighting across the night sky had them all jumping. It was seconds later that the pitter patter of rain against the window swallowed the silence of the room. Brooke slid out of Jake's embrace and stood up from the couch.

"I'm going to get Haley," She announced. "She shouldn't be outside during this storm. The news said it was supposed to be pretty brutal."

Nathan opened his mouth to protest, but quickly shut it when Brooke shot him a sharp look. He let out a long breath as he collapsed back on to the couch he was sitting on previously. Leaning his head against the wall, he closed his eyes. The last time he looked at the clock it was a little past twelve, it had to be nearing almost two in the morning now. Physically, he was exhausted. Mentally, he was wide awake with worry.

"Where did you say Haley was?"

Brooke's voice had his eyes popping open.

"She was sitting on the bench right outside the doors," Lucas answered.

"She's not there."

Nathan jumped out of his seat. His heart began to slam in his chest. "What do you mean she's not there?"

"I went out there and the benches are empty. I looked around and the only person out there was a security guard," Brooke explained, panicking.

"Where could she have gone?" Peyton asked, sitting up.

"Do you think she went to go see her mom?" Jake pondered.

Nathan shook his head, his stomach twisting uncomfortably. "She has to walk through the waiting room to get back there. We would've seen her walk by."

"Alright, alright, nobody freak out yet," Lucas soothed. "Maybe she just went to a different part of the hospital."

"I'll call her," Peyton offered, pulling her phone out of her pocket. She turned it on, before clicking on Haley's contact. Holding the phone up to her ear, she scrunched her nose when it went straight to voicemail. "Her phone must be off. It went straight to voicemail."

Nathan was starting to really worry. "Damn it, Luke, we shouldn't have left her!"

Lucas tossed his hands up in a defensive manner. "Let's just split up and look for her, okay? She came in an ambulance, so she doesn't have a car. She couldn't have left the hospital, I'm sure she's around here somewhere."

"I hope so."

~x~

"Damn it, Hales, where are you?" Nathan muttered to himself as he completed what felt like his millionth sweep around the hospital. There was no sign of her and his worry was quickly escalating. The storm outside was ragging on, sheets of rain crashing into the windows and shaking the entire building.

"Any luck?" Jake questioned as he rounded the corner, Brooke not far behind him.

"Nada," Nathan mumbled. "I tried calling her cell a few more times, but it still goes straight to voicemail."

A few seconds later, Lucas and Peyton came barreling around the opposite corner and Nathan's heart dropped into his stomach when he saw the look of sheer apprehension on their faces.

"We have a problem," Lucas panted, coming to a screeching halt in front of Nathan.

Nathan swallowed the lump in his throat. "What kind of problem?"

"We asked the security guard out front if he'd seen Haley and he said the last time he saw her, she was walking off the hospital grounds," Peyton revealed, her voice puffy. "She's gone, Nate."

Nathan's eyes widened. He was officially panicking. As if the higher powers wanted to torture he even more, another loud crack of thunder shook the hospital. "Fuck."

"Does any have any idea of where she could be?" Brooke asked.

"Maybe she went back to her house?" Jake suggested.

"That's way too far of a walk." Peyton quickly dismissed that idea. "What about your guys' apartment?"

Lucas shook his head. "Our apartment is even farther from here than her house."

"Okay," Brooke breathed out, her hands shaking. "Think, you guys."

Nathan started to pace the floor as he wracked his brain for ideas where Haley could have gone. There were a number of things walking distance from the hospital—coffee houses, restaurants, stores, the beach…the beach!

"I think I know where she is," Nathan announced, already heading towards the exit.

"Where? Nathan!" Lucas shouted after him, but his walking soon turned into a full on sprint.

~x~

Parking the car as close to the beach as he could get, Nathan swung the car door open and started running the familiar path to the secluded part of the beach as fast as he could. Almost instantly, he was soaked. The ice-cold rain stung as it pelted his skin, the wind threatening to sweep him away. Another flash of lightning illuminated the beach and he could see the clove just in reach. He prayed to God that the feeling in his gut was right.

His eyes strained when he noticed a dark figure sitting on the ground. His heartbeat sped up as pushed himself to run faster. Sure enough, the figure was Haley. He felt a short moment of reprieve before he realized that she was shaking violently. She had to be freezing. Her clothes were saturated, clinging to her body like a second skin. Her arms were wrapped around herself and her gaze was fixated before her.

"Haley!" Nathan shouted as he approached her. She didn't move or even acknowledge the fact that he was there.

He dropped to his knees beside her, blinking the rain out of his eyes. He placed his hand on her shoulder, but she still remained facing forward. He jumped when a crack of thunder rang out, the ground shaking slightly. If possible, the rain began to faller harder.

"Come on, Hales, we should get out of here," He pleaded with her, his breathing hard.

Still no movement. Sighing, he decided to take matters into his own hands. If they stayed out here any longer, Haley would probably freeze to death. Ever so softly, Nathan grabbed her hand and pulled her up from the ground. Surprisingly, she didn't protest. Her body felt limp, like a puppet and Nathan was the puppeteer.

He ushered Haley into his car, before cranking up the heat. He drove carefully and every few seconds, he glanced over at Haley to make sure she was okay. She was still shaking and just staring into space. The only thought on his mind was that he needed to warm her up. When he arrived back at his apartment, he sent Lucas a quick text to tell him what was going on. Then, he helped Haley up to his apartment and into his room. Turning to look at her, his knees buckled.

He was terrified.

Her usually warm eyes were glazed over—no emotion, just blank canvases. Her skin was ghostly white, a glossy porcelain shine as droplets of water trailed down the length of her body. Her lips were tinted a blue-ish purple, trembling as shiver after shiver shook her entire body. The wet strands of her blonde hair were plastered against her neck and the side of her face. Her arms were wrapped around her torso, her fingers clutching tightly to the soaked material of her green zip-up hoodie.

Nathan's heart ached in his chest. The shell of a girl standing in front of him wasn't Haley. She wasn't the same girl who was so full of life—a smile so bright it could put city lights to shame, a pair of eyes so loving it could warm even the coldest of hearts, and a personality so bubbly it was infectious. But, the scariest part of it all was that…this girl _was_ Haley and that shook something so deep inside of him that it almost knocked him flat on his ass.

He'd always felt this need to protect her. It had burrowed itself inside of him from the moment he met her. But in that moment, it seemed to intensify to unthinkable heights.

Gently grabbing her arm, he pulled her into his bathroom. Tearing open the bathroom closet, he grabbed a few of the towels and quickly wrapped them around her trembling body. He ran his hands up and down the length of her arms as he tried to transfer some kind of heat into her body. It didn't take him long to realize his actions were barren. He frantically searched his bathroom and racked his brain for some kind of idea on how to help her.

In retrospect, the smart thing for him to do would have been to take her back to the hospital. But something told him that that was the last place she wanted to be. When his eyes landed on the shower, his thoughts seemed to untangle themselves. Moving quickly, he turned the nozzle to the shower on its hottest setting, before returning his attention back to Haley.

Swallowing hard, Nathan tenderly placed his hands on her forearms. "I have to get you out of these wet clothes, okay?"

Haley remained mute, the hauntingly still expression on her face not faltering even a little bit. The only indication that she had heard what Nathan said was her arms loosening from around her body. They dropped limp to her sides like heavy boulders. Cautiously, Nathan pulled the zipper of her hoodie southwards and inhaled sharply when the material slipped off her shoulders, leaving her in a black cotton bra. With shaky hands, he undid the button to her jeans and pulled the zipper down, the sound of the metal teeth unfastening loud in his ears. He yanked gently as the wet material clung to her skin.

Once her jeans were removed, he awkwardly reached behind her to unclip her bra. His hands were shaking. Sliding it off her body, he tossed it to the side. His heart was racing as he worked on removing her panties from her body, tossing those to the side, as well. If the circumstances were different, he would have taken the time to marvel over the fact that his girlfriend was standing in front of him—completely naked—and she was absolutely beautiful. But these circumstances weren't normal.

He half expected Haley to come out of her trance once he started removing her clothes. He knew how reserved she was and to see her not even blink an eye at being naked in front him made his heart ache. She was _really_ starting to scare him. Seeing another shiver pass through her had Nathan springing to action. Quickly, he removed his clothes, leaving just his boxers on. With no resistance from Haley, he guided her into the shower.

Nathan's eyes refused to leave hers as he followed her into the shower. It wasn't until the warm water coated her skin did he see a sliver of life flicker in her eyes. The blank expression was quickly wiped from her face and Nathan watched in agony as a million different emotions flashed in her eyes. Seconds later, she seemed to crumble before him. Falling into his chest, she clung to him, her fingers digging into the flesh of his shoulders and arms. His heart shattered when the sounds of her sobs echoed through the bathroom and over the sound of the roaring water.

There'd only been a very small amount of moments in Nathan's life where he had felt completely and utterly helpless, but none of those moments measured up to the despair he was feeling then. All he could do was hold her and whisper soothing words to her, none of which seemed to be calming her down. He continuously ran his fingers through her hair and across her back.

Nathan wasn't sure how much time had passed before Haley's sobs started to subside. She had stopped trembling and the goosebumps on her skin were no longer visible. The color was starting to return to her lips. Her skin felt much warmer underneath his fingertips than it did moments before. She fell limp in his arms and he figured that the exhaustion was finally starting to catch up with her.

"Are you ready to get out?" Nathan asked softly.

Weakly, Haley nodded. She buried herself further into his chest when he reached around her to shut the water off. He stepped out of the shower first and swiftly grabbed one of the discarded towels from the floor. Wrapping it tightly around her body, he helped her step out of the shower.

"I'm going to get you a change of clothes, okay?"

Haley nodded, wrapping the towel tighter around her body.

Popping into his room, he discarded the boxers he was wearing and quickly redressed himself. Then he grabbed the closest pair of clean shorts and a t-shirt before heading back into the bathroom. Haley starred at him with red-rimmed eyes, reaching out her hand, palm facing upwards. He placed the clothes in her hands and breathed a sigh of relief when she blushed, motioning for him to leave so she could get dressed.

The weird trance she was in seemed to be broken and he'd never felt more relieved in his life.

~x~

Haley curled up in the comforter on Nathan's bed. A chill was still deep in her bones and her head still felt like she was underwater. Nothing felt real. Everything felt like a blur.

She couldn't remember how she ended up on the beach. The last thing she remembered was sitting on the bench outside of the hospital and feeling the intense need to get out of there. It was like an elephant was standing on her chest and no matter how much she gasped, she couldn't get air into her lungs. The next thing she knew, her feet were carrying her somewhere.

She wished she could describe how she was feeling, but no words seemed like the correct ones. She was angry, confused, sad, terrified…all of those emotions eating away are her caused her to shut down. The next time she came to face reality, she was standing in Nathan's shower and he was staring at her with so much worry. Everything seemed to explode inside of her and all of the tears she'd been holding back came pouring out.

It surprised her that she wasn't embarrassed about being naked in front of him, then again, she found herself not caring about anything.

She glanced over at Nathan, who was lying next to her. He was still wearing that same worried look on his face. Haley didn't mean to make him worry. He had been so amazing with her—at the hospital and now. He was everything that she needed.

"I'm sorry," Haley mumbled hoarsely, breaking the silence that formed between them.

Nathan's eyebrows rose, his forehead creasing. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"Yes, I do," Haley argued. "I've upset you."

Nathan sat up and shook his head dismissively. "You didn't. I'm worried about you, but I'm not upset."

Haley sighed as she began to pick at the lint spotting Nathan's blanket. "I'm sorry for leaving."

"Why did you?" Nathan asked gently. He didn't want to push her, but he was hoping that she would talk to him. He always hated when people tried to pry into his business. He would need three sets of hands to be able to count for every time someone tried to force him into talking about his feelings. He knew how aggravating that was and he didn't want to put her through that.

"I-I don't really know," Haley said with a shrug. "I…I couldn't be there anymore, Nathan. I don't know what happened. I needed peace, I guess that's how I ended up at that spot on the beach. Subconsciously, I must have remembered what you said about it."

Nathan grabbed her hand and squeezed it comfortingly. He was terrible when it came to comforting people. He never knew what to say and more times than not, he changed the subject. He didn't want to do that this time. He didn't know how he was going to do it, but he was going to help her.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about your mom?" He asked next.

Haley visibly tense. Her stomach flip flopped as she swallowed dryly. "Because I thought I could handle it."

"Hales…"

She shook her head. Another sob was crawling back up her throat but she forced it down. Her eyes were burning with tears, but she refused to let them fall. "She broke her promise."

"Her promise?"

Haley nodded. She inhaled shakily, her voice quivering as she spoke. "My d-dad used to call my mom and I 'the toughest of the James clan.' No matter what, we rremained strong. P-people relied on us when things got tough."

Nathan's heart clenched in his chest when he saw a single tear fall down her cheek. The pain in her voice caused every hair on his body to stand straight up. It was clear that she was struggling to get the words out. "Baby, you don't have to do this."

"I need to," Haley insisted. The words were burning in the back of her throat, but she couldn't stop. The weight of the world felt like it was on her shoulders and she just couldn't take it anymore.

Nathan nodded as he scooted closer to her. Wrapping an arm around her, he pulled her so that she was half sitting in his lap. Tucking a piece of damp hair behind her ear, he kissed her softly. "Okay. Take your time."

Haley snuggled as close to him as she could get, her head resting against his chest. Her eyes closed as the soft sound of his heartbeat slowly soothed her. Sniffling, she forced herself to continue. "When I was about nine, my grandma died. It really hit my family hard. My mom and I, like always, were the shoulder to cry on. After the funeral, we were sitting at the wake, and my dad turned to look at us. He had tears in his eyes, and he told us that he was proud of us for being the glue that kept this family together. Then, he…he made us promise that we would always be strong."

Nathan's grip on her tightened when her voice cracked.

"She…she broke her promise," Haley cried, her eyes squeezing shut. It killed her to say that out loud. The memory was playing over and over again in her head, her chest burning.

"Shh, baby, it's okay," Nathan tried to soothe, his hands rubbing circles on her back. "I got you, it's okay."

Her fingers grabbed a fistful of his shirt as she struggled to breathe. "S-she wasn't always like this. She didn't start d-drinking until a year ago. It started as a glass of wine here and there. B-before I knew it, it became almost a b-bottle a night."

Nathan's stomach knotted up as he listened to her cry. She was babbling and he just let her go. He knew that she needed this. He had no idea that she had this much on her chest.

"She shut me out. She s-stopped talking to me. I started finding her passed out on the couch almost every night. Some nights she got so b-belligerent with me. She would scream at me, th-throw things at me…I didn't know who she was anymore. She wasn't my mom. It was l-like she stopped car-caring," She continued to rant, wheezing and whimpering.

A twinge of guilt and uneasiness bubbled up in Nathan's stomach as she continued to tell him all about Lydia and her drinking. Some of the behaviors that she described were way too familiar to him. He'd spent way too many nights to count drinking his sorrows away and he suddenly hated himself for his choices. Before he could wallow any further, Haley's weak voice broke through his thoughts.

"I-I didn't want to break my promise," She sniffled. "I didn't want to let my dad down. So, I decided that I could be strong for the both of us. That's why I never told anyone. I thought I could help her. I thought that if I could just be her shoulder to cry on, things would eventually get better. But, they're not. Sh-she tried to k-kill herself, Nathan. She tr-ied t-to…"

Haley was shaking in his arms, her hand pulling on his shirt. She was hysterically crying again and she couldn't stop no matter how hard she tried. Later, she would probably be embarrassed by her outburst, but right now she didn't care. She felt Nathan's lips brush against her forehead. His gentle voice was whispering to her, telling her to just breathe.

"I can't do it anymore," She choked out. "I'm tired. I'm just so tired."

"It's okay, baby, it's okay," He reminded her. He felt like a broken record, repeating himself over and over again. But that's all he could think to say. He wasn't sure if he she was speaking mentally or physically, but judging by her weak voice and their current conversation, he assumed she meant a little bit of both.

"I'm so tired," She repeated again, sniffling.

Nathan lifted her chin up and cupped her cheeks in his hands. Using the pads of his thumbs, he wiped the remaining tears and their tracks from her face. He could easily see how exhausted she was, her eyes low and glossy. "Why don't you get some sleep? I'm sure Lucas or Jake wouldn't mind staying at the hospital for a few more hours so you can rest."

Haley breathed in deeply, the sound shaky and uneven. "Are you sure?" She knew that she should have been at the hospital, but physically, she couldn't move. Her eyes were burning from exhaustion and every inch of her body felt like it was logged down. Mentally, she wasn't sure if she could sleep, but her body was practically begging her to at least try.

Nathan nodded. "I'm positive. Now, come on."

He carefully slid her off of his lap and laid her down on the mattress. Slipping under the covers next to her, she immediately curled up in his side. He didn't miss how tightly she latched on to him. He kissed the top of her head before beginning to idly draw invisible shapes on her back.

"Thank you," Haley mumbled softly into his chest.

Nathan planned to respond but was cut off by the sounds of Haley's heavy breathing. Looking down on at her, he sighed as the ache in his chest only intensified. Even in her sleep, the worry lines were etched deeply into her perfect skin. She looked so restless…broken.

From the moment Nathan met Haley, he was amazed by just how strong she was. Her ability to move on from all the pain in her life was astounding to him. But seeing her now and hearing what she'd been through since her father's death…she was even stronger than he initially realized. Everyone had their breaking points and in a strange, twisted way, he felt honored that he could there for Haley through hers. She'd been there for him so many times and now it was his turn to return the favor.

Nathan would be lying if he said he wasn't new to caring about someone, at least to caring about someone _this_ much. He wished he could just snap his fingers and take all of her pain away. He wished he could do more than just talking to her or holding her. Regardless of what he wanted to do, he knew he was going to be anything that she needed him to be. Nothing else mattered right now—not Damien, not his grades, not anything.


	18. Chapter 18

I am so sorry for how long it has taken me to update this. I thought after I got back from Wilmington I was gonna have some time to crank the next chapter out, however, that was not the case. I sincerely apologize. The next update should not take me as long as this one did. Fair warning, this chapter is a lot of dialogue. I normally don't like to write a ton of dialogue, but there really wasn't a way for me to get around it. I rewrote Haley and Lydia's conversation at least 5 times, before I actually felt like it was executed the way that I wanted it. It was difficult to write, just because there were so many changing emotions and important pieces to that conversation. I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"

The corners of Haley's mouth twitched upwards in the smallest hint of a smile. She laced her fingers with Nathan's and gently squeezed them, her thumb running over the indents and groves of his knuckles. His eyes were clouded over with concern, the creases in his forehead seconds away from becoming permanently engrained.

She was so grateful for the way he had been with her through all of this. For the past few nights, she had been staying at Nathan's. She didn't think she could handle being alone, especially in her house, and Nathan was more than happy to let her sleep over. She felt safe in his arms—the way he'd hold her so tightly, yet touch her so delicately as if she would break. He made everything so much more…easier to deal with.

It was still hard, though. There was still a darkness in her heart that threatened to consume her at any given moment. There were moments when the reality of her current situation would come crashing down on her and it would feel like she couldn't breathe. However, there would be these small moments of hope. It was only a sliver of light while staring down the barrel of a gun, but it was something. She was positive that, that sliver of light wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Nathan.

Despite the fact that her family was spread out across the country and most of them couldn't hop on a plane at the drop of hat, she'd never felt more secure in her life, especially during a time like this. She knew that finally letting someone, mainly Nathan, into the darkest parts of her life had a lot to do with that. For as long as she could remember, people always depended on her and she never depended on anyone. That was gospel and she never thought she'd see the day when that didn't ring true.

It felt oddly liberating to lean on someone for a change. Before, Haley believed that by letting her guard down she would be letting her dad down, as well. She was surprised to find that she didn't feel any guilt over needing someone.

"I appreciate the offer, but I need to do this on my own," Haley murmured, her voice quivering slightly.

A small frown pulled at Nathan's lips, his eyes doing a quick sweep of her face. She was chewing anxiously on her bottom lip and the pain was still swirling in with the brown of her eyes. He was unsure if she was attempting to be strong because she felt like it was what she _had_ to be or if she was truly ready to face her mother.

Sighing, Nathan stepped forward and gently cupped her cheeks in his hands. He kissed her softly on the crown of her head, before smiling comfortingly at her. "I'll be right outside if you need me, okay?"

Haley's smile perked up a little, her eyes fluttering closed at the feel of his lips on her skin. "Thank you."

Taking a deep and calming breath, she turned on her heels to head towards her mom's hospital room. Her heart was in her throat and her stomach was twisting painfully, making her queasy. She wrapped her gray sweater tighter around her body as she paused right outside of the door. Closing her eyes, she attempted to calm her heavy breathing and rapid heartbeat. She could do this. She had to do this.

With sweaty palms and shaky hands, she pushed open the door. A bright stream of sunlight aligned perfectly with her eyes causing her to squint. Holding up her hand to block the sun, Lydia slowly came into view. She was sitting up in her bed, a half-eaten bowl of red Jell-O curled in the palm of her hand. The TV was on, the low sound cackling through the air. An occasional beep from the heart machine echoed through the room.

Haley's throat felt as dry as sandpaper. The woman in front of her looked like her mother—the same reddish-blonde hair and the same brown eyes. But there was something foreign to her. Her eyes were void of life and her skin was ghostly white. The wrinkles on her face were heavier than her age should have allowed. Looking at her, Haley felt the last intact piece of her heart shatter.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Haley took a hesitant step forward. "H-hi, mom."

~x~

Nathan stared hard at the cell phone that he was clutching in his right hand. The incessant buzzing was starting to get on his nerves. He was half tempted to shut his phone off, but that would've caused more harm than good. Without having to look at the caller ID, he already knew who was calling him and that knowledge had his stomach knotting up.

 _Damien._

Damien had been calling Nathan multiple times a day for the last few days and he was quickly running out of excuses of why they couldn't "hang out." It was only a matter of time before Damien showed up at his front door, demanding to know why Nathan was curving him. That was the last thing he wanted, but he couldn't leave Haley's side. His girlfriend wasn't the type of person to need anyone, but she needed him and he wasn't going to screw that up.

That stupid voice in his head be damned.

"Hey."

Nathan's head snapped up to see Jake standing in front of him. His hands were stuffed in the pockets of his jeans and he was smiling gently at Nathan. His eyebrows rose in confusion. It was only half past ten and school was still in session. Everyone, with the exception of Nathan and Haley, had returned to school a couple days prior.

"What are you doing here?"

"Brooke," Jake said with a short chuckle, taking the seat next to Nathan. "Haley told her last night that she was planning on talking to her mom today, so Brooke wanted to me check on her during my free period, since she couldn't do it herself."

"Brooke's a good friend," Nathan mumbled.

Jake nodded, a smile involuntarily spreading across his face. "She is. How's Haley doing?"

Nathan sighed heavily as he leaned back in his chair. "A little better. I think the shock of everything has finally warn off, but you can still see the pain in her eyes. She busies herself with the homework Lucas brings to her during the day, but it hits her the hardest at night."

Jake plopped his hand down on Nathan's shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. The toll this whole situation was having on Nathan was clear. His concern was practically palpable, oozing off of him in strong waves. As odd as it was to say, Jake felt relieved to see Nathan this way, to see him feel more than just his own pain and guilt.

"It's only been 3 days. It's still pretty fresh."

"I know," Nathan said sadly. "It's just difficult, because I watch her cry and it kills me. I'm not sure what the right thing to say or do is."

"You're doing a good thing for her, Nate," Jake reassured him. "You're exactly what she needs right now."

"I feel like I'm not doing enough," Nathan admitted sheepishly. "I'm not used to caring about—"

"Someone other than yourself?" Jake filled in teasingly, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement.

Nathan rolled his eyes and brushed Jake's hand off his shoulder. "I'm not used to caring about _anyone_."

"And you care about Haley more than you've ever thought was possible," Jake assumed, a smile breaking out on his face when Nathan nodded. "It's a good feeling, isn't it? To be needed? To be wanted?"

Nathan inhaled shakily as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It was a good feeling, but it felt weird to be openly admitting it. He desperately wanted to shift the focus of the conversation off of him. "What about you?

Jake furrowed his eyebrows. "What about me?"

"You and Brooke," Nathan clarified. He smirked in satisfaction when a light blush dusted Jake's cheeks.

"We're just friends, that's all."

"But you like her."

Jake narrowed his eyes. "You're just trying to distract me from forcing you to talk about your feelings, aren't you?

Cracking a small smile, Nathan remained silent.

Jake shook his head, before letting out an exaggerated breath of air. His expression turned serious as he swallowed hard. "Honestly? I've been in love with her since we were kids."

Nathan's eyes widened, the hinges of his mouth dropping open. "And you haven't done anything about it?"

Jake chuckled softly as he leaned back in his chair. His head rested against the wall and his eyes fluttered closed, a peaceful smile playing on his lips. "Oh, I did. But we were so _young_ , way too young to know anything about love. We 'dated' when we twelve. Obviously, that worked out real well."

"Why haven't you done anything about it since then?" Nathan found himself asking.

"We grew apart," Jake explained with a nonchalant shrug, his eyes opening. "As we got older, we formed different interests and made different friends. I guess we never got a chance to go there again."

"But your feelings remained the same? Even after all this time?" Nathan pondered quietly. His interest level in this conversation shocked him, but he couldn't be bothered with figuring out the details of why.

"Yes."

It amazed Nathan that he didn't sound sad or upset about that. The smallest hint of the smile on his face was sans any kind of pain or regret. It was pure happiness.

"So, that's what you meant when you told me love's a beautiful thing."

"It is," Jake confirmed. "Unrequited or not. Love is one of most important things you could ever find in life—the way it makes you feel, the way it changes you—it's amazing. That's why you should never close your heart off from it."

Nathan's heart pounded in his chest as Jake's words sunk in. Any response that he could have to that statement was lodged in his throat. Luckily for Nathan, or maybe not so luckily for him, the cell phone in his hand began to buzz again. Instinctively, Nathan tensed up when he saw Damien's name flash across the screen.

"Who is it?" Jake asked.

"Damien."

Jake turned frigid. His lips molded together as his gaze hardened. "What does he want?"

Nathan shrugged, pressing the decline button once again. "Probably wants me at his disposal. I've been giving him excuses left and right."

"Nathan!" Jake hissed. "The last thing you want to do right now is piss him off."

Nathan quickly shook his head dismissively. "Trust me, I still have some time before that happens. His last delivery went way better than he expected, so he's been in an exceptionally good mood."

Jake ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "I have such a bad feeling about this."

"So do I. But I don't have much of a choice…if I ever want to be free of him for good," Nathan mumbled lowly.

"Have you made any progress with him?" Jake asked cautiously.

Nathan licked his lips suddenly too dry lips as he looked down. The guilt burned deep inside of him as he hesitantly shook his head. Damien might have let him in again, but Nathan once again found himself at a standstill. He couldn't look in Jake's direction. The look of disappointment he was sure Jake was sporting would only make him feel worse.

"Not really," He muttered. "He trusts me with his shipments again and I have access to a lot of his files and things like that, but he watches over me like a hawk. It's like he trusts me, but he doesn't."

Jake nodded solemnly. "You're being careful, right?"

"As careful as I can be," Nathan said.

"Good," Jake murmured.

~x~

"H-hi, mom."

Haley hated the way her voice quivered and the way her stomach dropped at the first intrusion of her mother's gaze. The air around her felt thick, like it was trying to suffocate her, and she wanted nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare her life had become. The nervous energy in the room had her skin prickling. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all…

"Oh, Haley Bob," Lydia rasped. Her eyes glistened in the sun, the unshed tears springing to life. The saddest smile played on her lips, sucking all of the air on Haley's lungs. Reaching forward, she placed her cup of Jell-O back on its tray, before angling her body towards Haley. "I was wondering when I was going to see you."

Haley couldn't remember the last time her mother had ever talked to her in such a soft and…maternal manner. It made her ill that it took something as drastic as suicide to bring it out of her. The urge to bolt was strong, but she decided to ignore it. She never ran from her problems and she wasn't about to start now.

Taking in an uneven breath of air, Haley slowly approached the hospital bed. "I wasn't sure I wanted to see you," She murmured honestly.

Lydia paled even further at Haley's brazen words. She squeezed her eyes shut, a few tears seeping out from between her eyelashes. "Haley, I know how scared you must have been—"

Haley shook her head, effectively cutting Lydia off. All of the different emotions seemed to explode inside of her at once. Her throat burned as she spoke, the words tasting bitter from her anger and salty from the tears effortlessly pouring from her eyes.

"Scared? Mom, I was absolutely terrified! Seeing you lying on our living room floor…my world stop spinning. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. And the saddest part? I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that I couldn't remember the last time I told you I loved you."

"Hal—"

"No, please, I need to say this," Haley pleaded, her body collapsing tiredly on to the bedside chair. Her eyes remained trained on her mother's pain filled ones, unable to look away. Her heart was pounding in her chest and the tremors raking through her body were bordering on excruciating. She had no idea where this sudden confidence and bravery was coming from, but she didn't have the strength to question it.

Lydia only nodded, allowing Haley to carry on. Her posture was stiff, as if she was bracing herself for the worst of words to fall from her daughter's mouth.

"I couldn't remember the last time I told you I loved you," Haley repeated regretfully. "Because the last few months, you haven't been my mom. _You_ haven't been here. It's like you checked out, leaving the bottles of wine for me to clean up. I'm the child, mom. You were supposed to be taking care of me, not the other way around."

Lydia's head hung low. With the back of her hand, she wiped under her eyes. The sound of her sniffles echoed off the walls. "I've been a terrible mother."

"I blamed myself, you know," Haley continued on as if Lydia hadn't said anything. It wasn't like she couldn't stop. "I know I should have done something sooner. I should have tried harder when you pushed me away. I just kept thinking that I could be strong enough for the both us...like I promised dad."

Lydia winced at the mention of Jimmy. Her shoulders slumped further and she sunk deeper into her bed. Haley couldn't tell if her reactions were genuine or if they were an act. She hoped to God that Lydia was taking what she was saying seriously. There was no way she could physically handle going through something like this again.

"I already lost dad, I can't lose you, too." Haley's voice dropped down to a whisper, the sound cracking and straining as she fought back a sob.

Lydia sat up and grabbed Haley's hand. She squeezed it tight. "Oh, honey, you're not going to lose me."

"How can you say that?" Haley panted. "I already almost did! You…you tried to take yourself from me."

Lydia's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, her mouth dropping slightly open. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

Haley almost wanted to laugh at Lydia's attempt to play dumb. She shook her head, a bitter smile stretching across her face. It figured her mom was going to make her spell it out, leaving her with the sour taste in her mouth. "You tried to kill yourself, mom, that's what I'm talking about!"

The creases in Lydia's forehead instantly softened. A sad and regretful look replaced her previous confused expression. Rubbing her thumb along the back of Haley's hand, she softly shook her head. "Haley, sweetheart, I didn't try to kill myself."

Haley released a breath she wasn't aware she was holding. Hesitantly, she locked eyes with her mom and almost simultaneously, her body relaxed. Hearing those words, regardless if they were the truth or not, felt like a relief. It was like her heart _wanted_ to believe that her mom would never do something like that, but her head…

"Mom—"

"No," Lydia protested. "It's my turn to talk. I didn't try to…kill myself, Haley Bob. Those pills that I took…I took them on complete accident. I mixed up my pills, because…because, well, I was drinking. I didn't purposely take them."

Haley swallowed hard. She could see the truth shining in her mother's eyes, the glistening tears and the motherly concern she had missed so dearly. She wasn't sure what would hurt her more—believing that her mom had tried to commit suicide or believing that what she had done was a complete accident.

"Is…is that the truth?" Haley asked shakily.

Lydia nodded her head ruefully. "Yes."

Haley's heart sank in her chest as a fresh batch of tears welled up in her eyes. Wrenching her hand out of Lydia's grasp, Haley stood up and began to pace the length of the hospital room. Her hands were buried in her hair as her whole body trembled with anger and fear. Her head felt airy as she tried to process what her mom had just told her.

"Do you realized how messed up this all is?" Haley sobbed. "I…I can't do this anymore. I just can't. Something has to change."

"I know," Lydia agreed quietly.

Haley paused, wiping her eyes. "Do you? Or are you just saying that?"

Lydia sighed heavily as she, too, wiped the moisture from her eyes. "I'm not proud of who I've been. You're right, I haven't been your mom. I haven't been a person. I know I need help. That's why I've already talked to the doctor about setting me up with a therapist and an alcohol dependence program."

Haley's eyes widened in shock. "Y-you have?"

"Yes," Lydia confirmed. "I was so scared. When everything turned black, all _I_ could think about is how I couldn't die because I haven't seen you graduate high school or get married. I haven't seen Quinn graduate from college or get married. Or Taylor get her life together. I couldn't remember the last time I seen Vivian or any of your brothers. I couldn't remember the last time I saw my grandkids. I realized that I still had so much to do."

Lydia paused to compose herself, before she began to speak again. Her voice cracked with emotion. "Then I thought about your father and how he would be so disappointed in me. It would break his heart if he saw what I was doing to myself. You know how he was always about living life to the fullest."

"Yeah," Haley murmured with a small smile. "I called everyone. They all know."

Lydia smiled weakly. "Good, they should know what's going on."

"Quinn wanted to hop on a plane and skip all of her finals."

"That sounds like my Quinn."

"Vivian wants to do Christmas. She knows we were supposed to host Christmas this year, but she figured you probably weren't feeling up to it," Haley then added in.

"We'll be there," Lydia said. "I've pushed my family away for far too long. I'm not doing that anymore."

Hesitantly, Haley approached Lydia's bed. Taking a deep breath, she gently sat down on the edge of it. She desperately wanted to believe the things her mom was saying to her, but she was scared. There was a determined glint in Lydia's eye and she seemed like she really wanted to change, but Haley wasn't sure how long that was going to last. It was easy for her to claim recovery now, but what about after she left the hospital?

"Are you sure things are going to change?" Haley asked nervously.

Lydia leaned forward to caress Haley's cheek. "I promise."

"Okay," Haley said with a soft smile. "I promise to help you."

"Come here." Lydia tugged on Haley's arm, pulling her into a loving hug. "You know I love you, right?"

Haley's heart felt lighter at those words, a vibrant warmth spreading through her body. "I love you, too."

~x~

"You know, we don't still have to do this, if you don't want to," Nathan reminded Haley as they spread out across his bed. He placed his math book down next to the folder and loose-leaf paper Haley had pulled out of her backpack. On the way home from the hospital, Haley had filled him in on everything that happened with Lydia, including the fact that she was getting released the next day. It had shocked him, to say the least, that Lydia's suicide attempt was actually a complete accident. Since returning from the hospital, Haley had been relatively silent.

Haley's silence made Nathan nervous. He could still see the tracks her tears had taken on her cheeks and she looked emotionally exhausted. Other than that, he couldn't tell what she was feeling or what she was thinking and it was starting to drive him crazy. It took him by surprise when she suggested that they work on some of his homework.

Haley shook her head as she climbed on to his bed. "No, I want to. I could use the distraction."

"Okay," Nathan breathed out, saddling up next to her. "Is there, uh, anything you want to talk about?"

"No, I'm okay," Haley reassured him. A small smile tugged on her lips when she felt his concerned gaze burning into her skin. Looking up, a shiver ran down her spine when she met his piercing blue eyes. It felt like he was staring right into her soul. The apprehension and concern for her was written clearly on his face.

Leaning towards him, she cupped his cheek and pressed a tender kiss to his lips. "I'm not trying to shut you out, Nathan. I'm just still trying to process everything and I'm kind of tired of talking about it."

Which was true. Her talk with her mom was exhausting, even if it did make her feel lighter somehow. Her relationship with her mother was far from being repaired and the journey ahead of them was long. Everything that happened still didn't quite feel real and it made her dizzy just thinking about it. She just desperately needed a break, something to take her mind off things.

"You know that if you want to talk or if you need anything, I'm here, right?" Nathan murmured, his hand covering hers on his cheek.

"I know," She said with a smile. "You've been so amazing through all of this, thank you."

"I couldn't imagine being anything else," Nathan replied, giving her hand a squeeze.

Haley dropped her hand from his face and smirked playfully at him. "You're just trying to butter me up to get out doing these math equations, aren't you?"

"You caught me," Nathan chuckled. "Oh, before I forget, Karen and Keith invited you and your mom over for Christmas, if you guys are feeling up to it."

Haley bit her lip as she repositioned herself so that she was sitting cross legged. "Oh, that's really sweet, but I actually won't be in Tree Hill for Christmas."

Nathan's stomach dropped. "Where will you be?"

"Ohio," Haley mumbled. She couldn't help but think that the pout Nathan was sporting was adorable. "We were supposed to host Christmas this year for my family, but after everything that happened my sister, Vivian, invited us out to her house."

"Oh," Nathan muttered. He tried to mask the disappointed tone in his voice, but judging by the frown that pulled at Haley's lips, he had failed miserably. "When do you guys leave?"

"In three days," Haley said sheepishly. "We'll only be a gone a few days. I'll be back New Year's Eve. Are you upset?"

Nathan quickly shook his head. "No, not at all. I mean, I was looking forward to spending Christmas with you and giving you your present, but I'm not upset. I think you and your mom spending the holiday with your family would be great for the both of you."

"Yeah, I think it would be good for my mom to be around her family. Besides, I haven't seen my siblings in a long time," Haley continued on. "But, if it's any consolation, I'm really going to miss you."

Nathan's heart gave a slow thump as a smile spread across his face. "You already know I'm going to miss you."

"You better," Haley teased. "So, you got me a gift, huh?"

Nathan smirked. "I did."

"What is it?"

Nathan chuckled at the eagerness in her voice. "You'll just have to wait and see. I'm not giving you any hints either."

"What if," Haley began as she sat up on her knees. Scooting closer to him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in so that her lips were only centimeters away from his. "I kiss it out of you?"

Nathan's arms automatically wrapped around her waist. Her husky tone caused a shiver to run down his spine and goosebumps to rise high on his skin. His gaze honed in on her lips and he licked his in response. She was playing dirty, but he could fight fire with fire. Closing the distance between them, he trailed his hands up her back and tangled them in her hair. He captured her lips in a visceral kiss and smirked against her lips when she gasped.

He pulled away a few moments later and smirked triumphantly at the dazed expression on her face. Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing heavily.

"Nice try, Hales," He whispered huskily into her ear, before pressing a kiss to the shell of it.

~x~

A couple hours later, after Nathan successfully completed a math worksheet and Haley called Brooke to fill her in about what happened with Lydia, they were both curled up in Nathan's bed. Haley was cuddled up as close to Nathan as she could physically get, her head on his chest and his arm wrapped tightly around her. His steady heartbeat and slow breathing kept her calm, just like they had the previous nights.

God, she really had been spoiled the last few nights by sleeping in Nathan's arms. Even though her life felt like it was in shambles, feeling his body pressed against hers and the heat he emanated had lulled her to sleep. She didn't know how she was going to be able to go back to her own bed and sleep comfortably.

"You know, this is probably going to be my last night here for a while," Haley said quietly, breaking the comfortable silence that had formed between them.

Nathan groaned, instinctively pulling her tighter against him. He, too, had found it so much easier to sleep with her beside him. He found that the nightmares he normally had hadn't bother him the past few days and he woke up feeling fully rested, something he hadn't experienced in years. "I'm glad that your mom is finally coming home, but selfishly, I wish you could stay here every night."

"I definitely know that feeling," Haley muttered as she titled her head up to look at him. "But I was thinking that maybe you should come with me to pick up my mom tomorrow."

Nathan's eyes almost bugged out of his head and he swore his heartbeat doubled in speed. "You…you want me to meet your mom tomorrow?"

Haley chewed nervously on the inside of her cheek, nodding her head. "Yeah, I mean, if you're up for it."

Nathan shifted nervously under the silk covers. Meeting Haley's mom…now that was a big step and he couldn't ignore the anxious twist of his stomach. A million thoughts seemed to enter his head at once. What if she didn't like him? What did he even say to his girlfriend's mom?

"I, err, I've never met a girl's mom before," He muttered lamely.

Haley giggled at the obvious nervous edge his demeanor had taken on. She had to admit that she was a little nervous herself. After all, it's not like she'd ever introduce her mom to a boy before. "I'm sure she'll love you."

"Are you sure that now is a good time for this? I mean, with everything that's happened?" Nathan pondered seriously.

Haley nodded as she propped herself up. "Before my mom started drinking, we were really close. I told her everything, like she was my best friend. Once things started going haywire, I started keeping things to myself. If she's willing to make the effort to change and try to make things go back to normal, then I should try to. And what better way than to introduce her to my boyfriend?"

"Well, okay, if you're sure about this," Nathan finally conceded after a few moments of silence. The thought of meeting Lydia James scared the shit out of him, he wasn't going to deny that. But if that's what Haley wanted, then he was going to do it.

"I'm positive."


	19. Chapter 19

Long author's note ahead, oops.

I know that I promised it wouldn't take ions for me to update the next chapter, but I'm sure that all of you have heard stories coming out about Mark Schwahn and how he sexually harassed the female cast and crew on the show. The news hit me hard, as I'm sure that it did for you all as well, and I just needed to take a breather. I could honestly go on and on about how I feel about all of this, but I'll just leave you with a brief synopsis-I still love One Tree Hill with all of my heart and the show still means so much to me. It's truly changed my life. That will never change. Mark Schwahn is NOT One Tree Hill, the cast, the crew, and the fans are One Tree Hill. I won't let one man take the magic away from the show, as you guys shouldn't either. In the words of Joy Lenz, "Don't let one bad apple spoil it!"

I do want to take a moment to express how proud I am of our female cast and crew. I wish I could accurately put it into words how amazed I am of all of them. They all found their voice and their strength is inspiring. I always knew that they were amazing and inspiring women, but this only proves it further. They're all so strong and I have the utmost respect for them. And shout out to our male cast for showing their unwavering love and support. We really do have the best cast.

Moving on, coincidently this chapter is extremely fluffy and happy. I figured that after everything that Haley's been through in the past few chapters and all of the sadness that came from that, you all deserved a little breather. Besides, the next chapter won't really have any Naley, so I hope this makes up for it. I also hope that if any of you are feeling confused or sad about what has happened, this bring a little joy into your day. Enjoy!

P.S. I stayed up until 6 am to finish this. I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open and I was too anxious to wait to post it, so I didn't proof read. Sorry for any errors!

* * *

"I'm nervous."

Haley giggled at the way Nathan was pacing the length of the waiting room. His face was pale and his hands were fidgeting anxiously. "Nathan, you're making _me_ nervous. It's going to be fine."

"Until your mom meets me, decides that I'm a good-for-nothing-low-life, and forbids you from seeing me," Nathan grumbled. His stomach was flip flopping and it felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest.

Was it normal for him to be this nervous meeting a girlfriend's mom? Or was he just crazy? Maybe it wasn't a big deal, but to him it felt like this huge monumental moment. Meeting Haley's mom was serious and it scared the living shit out of him.

"That's a little dramatic, don't you think?" Haley joked, the amusement twinkling in her eye. She was nervous, too, but definitely not as nervous as Nathan was.

"Doesn't mean it can't happen," Nathan shot back.

Haley stood up from the chair she was sitting on and stepped in front of him. She wrapped her arms around his torso and soothingly ran her hands over his back. "My mom isn't like that. She's not going to forbid me from seeing you."

Nathan sighed heavily as he held her close, his hands locking together at the base of her spine. "I'm sorry, Hales. I don't know what's gotten into me. I don't do nervous well."

Haley smiled up at him, the corners of her eyes crinkling. "She's going to love you. And if she doesn't, well, we'll have to defy her orders and run away to a faraway land where no one would ever find us."

Nathan rolled his eyes, his grip on her waist tightening. "That is not even a little bit funny."

Haley giggled as she burrowed herself into his chest. The scent of his cologne surrounded her and a warmth spread through her body. She sighed happily when she felt Nathan run his fingers up and down her back in soothing strokes. It felt good to genuinely laugh again. The last few days had been filled with so much grief and fear that she didn't think she would ever laugh again.

Things weren't perfect, but she no longer felt hopeless.

"How are you feeling?" Nathan asked her after a few seconds of silence. It was something that he found himself asking her frequently. The image of her sitting so helplessly in the rain and the vacant, dull look in her eyes was engrained in his memory. He constantly felt this urgency to check up on her, to make sure she was okay.

"Good," Haley murmured into his chest. "A little scared that even though my mom said things are going to change, they aren't. I don't want to get my hopes up and then end up with my heart broken."

Nathan pulled back from her, one arm remaining around her waist. His free hand reached up to brush her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. The muted fear in her eyes made his heart quake. His mouth felt dry as he tried to formulate some kind of soothing and reassuring response.

"Maybe this was…a wakeup call for her," Nathan suggested, his thumb rubbing her cheek softly. "You have every right to be scared, but you've just gotta stay positive."

Haley leaned into his touch and smiled softly at him. "You're a lot better at this consoling thing than you think you are."

"I don't know about that," He chuckled.

"Ms. James?"

They both turned around to see an older woman in scrubs. Her blonde hair, dusted with streaks of gray, was pulled back in a tight ponytail. Her eyes were kind, as was her smile. Clasped in her hands were a small stack of papers.

"That's me," Haley said, twisting around in Nathan's arms.

The nurse walked over to her, the smile remaining on her face. She handed the papers in her hand over to Haley. "These are Lydia's discharge papers, along with information on the antidepressants the doctor prescribed her. There is also a work note in there. It'll be up to her psychologist when she can return to work, but that note should cover her until then."

Haley smiled as she flipped through the papers. "Thank-you. Is she ready?

"She was just changing when I went in to have her sign the discharge papers. You may go to her room, if you'd like. Once she's dressed, you're welcome to leave," the nurse explained.

"Thank you," Haley repeated gratefully. The nurse smiled once a more before walking away. Haley turned to Nathan and squeezed his suddenly clammy hand. "Are you ready?"

"I feel like I should be asking you that," Nathan mumbled thickly. The nerves were really starting to kick and he felt guilty about it. This was a big moment for Haley and here he was worrying that her mom was going to hate him. It felt incredibly selfish.

Haley pushed her body up on the tip of her toes to press a kiss to his cheek. "You know, your nervousness is actually kind of adorable."

Nathan shook his head, the corners of his lips pulling up into a crooked smile. "I'm glad that you're enjoying this."

Haley giggled at the sarcastic edge to his tone. Slipping her fingers into his, she squeezed his hand and started to walk towards her mom's hospital room, pulling him with her. "It's gonna be fine. Now, come on."

The walk down the long and narrow hall felt like it was never ending. The anxiety and excitement was high in the both of them, pumping through their veins through a single wire. Their racing heart beats, sweaty palms, and nervous stomachs were so in-tune with each other. It was like, in that moment, they were the same person.

Haley halted right outside of the hospital room. She squeezed Nathan's hand, as comfort for her and for him. Her thumb moved soothingly over the back of his hand.

"I think I should go in first," Haley murmured. "I don't want to ambush her."

Nathan nodded quickly. "I'll just uh, wait out here."

Haley smiled gingerly at Nathan before releasing his hand. She took a calming breath, one that she hoped would calm her rapid heartbeat, but to no avail. A sense of déjà vu surged through her. A little over twenty-four hours ago she was walking into that same room with a heavy heart, a grave anger, and a sense of uncertainty. That uncertainty was still there, but the anger had dissipated and her heart wasn't as heavy.

Rounding the corner, Haley was surprised to see Lydia bouncing around the room like a tsetse fly. It was the first time in forever where Lydia seemed energetic. Her movements were no longer sluggish or forced. She was no longer in the off-white hospital gown, but instead in a pair of light colored jeans and a purple sweater. Her hair looked a little messing and greasy, like it hadn't been properly washed in a few days. Other than that, she looked healthy.

Haley couldn't help but feel a sense of relief at the sight. Seeing Lydia appear so lively gave her hope that yesterday wasn't a dream and that she was serious about the promise she made to Haley.

"Hi, mom," Haley said softly.

Lydia's head shot up in Haley's direction. A kind smile graced her face. "Haley Bob! Boy, am I glad to see you!"

Haley slid her hands in to the back pockets of her jeans as she started to rock on the balls of her feet. "How are you feeling?"

Lydia zipped up the last compartment of her overnight bag, exhaling loudly as she did. "Decent. I can't wait to take a proper shower. The water pressure in this hospital is like non-existence."

Haley laughed awkwardly. "Well, I guess we should get you home. But before that, there's actually somebody that I want you to meet."

Lydia placed a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow at the nervous flitter of Haley's voice. "Please tell me that it's not a psychiatric doctor here to whisk me away to some asylum. I already told you that I'm setting up an appointment with a therapist and I enrolled myself into a program."

Haley shook her head, chewing roughly on the inside of her cheek. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. "Actually, it's my…boyfriend."

Lydia's soft eyes widened to the size of saucers. A few seconds later, a wide smile painted her face. "Boyfriend? And when did this happen?"

"Almost two months ago," Haley answered sheepishly.

Lydia's smile faltered, a frown pulling her lips downwards. A look of despair and embarrassment crossed her face. She swallowed thickly, running a hand through her hair. "Wow."

Haley's stomach sunk. Lydia went from looking elated to looking defeated in a matter of seconds and she wasn't sure what to make of it. "Mom?"

"I can't believe that I've been so selfish," Lydia whispered, almost as if she was talking to herself. Her eyes were casted towards the ground in shame. "Two months? I've been so blind."

"Mom?" Haley repeated cautiously, taking a few steps closer to her.

When Lydia met Haley's gaze, there were tears shining her eyes. She closed to distance between them, grabbing both of Haley's hands in a strong grip. "I am so sorry, Haley Bob. I should've been there. You've had a boyfriend for two months and I hadn't a clue. I should have been there for you to gush over him and tell me all about him. I should have been there to answer any questions that you might have had."

Haley swallowed down the cry that started to crawl up her throat. It broke her heart all over again to see the pain reflecting in Lydia's lies. That bubble of uncertainty in the back of Haley's mind shrunk a little more. "It's okay."

Lydia shook her head. "It's not okay. I'm going to be better. I promise."

"I know," Haley said with a smile. "I know that you're going to get through this."

"You're too good to me, kid." Lydia let go of her hands to wipe the tears from her eyes. "Well, go get him! I would love to meet him."

Haley smiled giddily as she turned on her heels to head out into the hallway. She almost laughed out loud at the way Nathan was anxiously bouncing up and down. Playfully rolling her eyes, she cleared her throat and waved him over.

"Come on!" She laughed.

Nathan rubbed the palms of his hands against his jeans. When Haley extended her hand, he quickly grabbed it and swallowed the lump in his throat. They walked into the room hand-in-hand to greet a smiling Lydia.

"Mom, this is Nathan," Haley said. "Nathan, this is my mom."

Lydia's eyes trailed the length of his body, from his black polo to his dark jeans. There was a gleam in them that neither of them could decipher. "You could have given me a warning about how cute he is, Haley Bob!" She blurted out with a quirked brow.

" _Mother!_ " Haley whined, her cheeks flaming red. She'd almost forgotten how outspoken and embarrassing (in the most loving way possible) her mom could be.

Nathan uneasily rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, the tips of his ear turning pink. He wasn't sure how to respond to that. Did he thank her? Did he just awkwardly laugh it off? Judging by the redness in Haley's cheeks, she was just as embarrassed as he was.

"I'm just saying!" Lydia said as if ogling at her daughter's boyfriend was the most natural thing in the world. She stepped forward with a warm smile on her face and her hand extended. "I realized that this isn't the most ideal place for us to first meet and I won't drill you with questions like I normally would. You know, like 'are you sleeping with my daughter?' kind of questions."

Even though there was lightheartedness in Lydia's voice and a twinkle of mischief in her eyes—signs that she was clearly joking—Nathan cowered further and Haley's face burned in embarrassment.

"Oh, dear, God," Haley mumbled, dropping her grip from Nathan's hand to cover her face.

Nathan awkwardly laughed as he shook her mom's hand. His own cheeks were burning, an usual feat for him as it usually takes a lot to make him blush.

"I'm not entirely sure how to respond to that, Mrs. James," Nathan murmured uncertainly.

Lydia was completely different than what he was expecting. She seemed like the type of woman who didn't have a problem with saying whatever was on her mind. When perfectly healthy, he imagined her as outspoken spitfire, kind of like Haley. He imagined her as someone who is able to light up entire room with just her joyful laugh or boisterous voice.

Her almond shaped eyes, albeit dull and devoid of life, still held a warmness to them—the same warmness that drew him to Haley. He found comfort in that. The nervous knot in his stomach slowly came undone.

Lydia laughed as she placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "Please, call me Lydia. 'Mrs. James' reminds me of my mother-in-law. I trust that you've been taking good care of my daughter?"

Nathan cleared his throat. He wanted to say that Haley had been the one taking care of him. She was the one who saved him from the downward spiral he was on. But there was something about saying those words out loud when he hadn't a chance to tell Haley them yet first felt wrong. So instead he glanced back at Haley, who just gave him an encouraging smile.

"To the best of my ability," Nathan finally answered.

Lydia nodded happily. "That's all I ask. As much as I would love to sit here and talk, can we move this elsewhere? If I spend any more time in this hospital, I might go crazy."

~x~

"Still nervous?" Haley whispered to Nathan as he pulled his car into her driveway. Her hand had been resting on his thigh the whole drive home. At first, his body felt rigid, like he was preparing for things to take a sharp turn for the worst at any moment. The closer they got to her house, the more relaxed he became.

"Not really," Nathan mumbled back honestly.

The ride back from the hospital was filled with light conversation. Lydia asked Nathan a lot of questions. Surprisingly, none of her questions forced him to delve into the parts of himself that he wanted to keep secret. Her questions were basic—How'd you and Haley meet? Have you lived in Tree Hill your whole life? What do you like to do in your free time? It's like she can almost sense that he's not an open person. Mother's intuition perhaps?

Haley leaned over the center console to press a kiss to his cheek. "I told you there was nothing to worry about."

Lydia sighed happily at the two of them, the sound loud enough for Nathan to hear. He felt his cheeks burn again, as if they were just caught doing something they shouldn't have been. He was still lost in his thoughts when the sound of car doors opening brought him back to the present. Reacting quickly, Nathan hopped out of the driver's seat and reached for Lydia's bags.

"Let me get those for you," Nathan offered, while retrieving her bags off her shoulders.

Lydia beamed at him, her eyes twinkling towards Haley. "Such a gentleman," She cooed.

Haley could only smile.

A sense of longing came over Haley as she stepped into her house. It felt like ages since she had properly been there. She didn't count stopping for a change of clothes as being home. As much as she loved being Nathan's roommate the past few days, she missed the comfort and familiarity of her own home. Everything was just how they left it, dirty dishes and all.

"First things first," Lydia began as she brushed past Nathan and Haley. She disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the two of the shooting puzzled looks at each other. About a forty seconds later, Lydia returned with three bottles of wine swaddled in her arms. Without warning she thrusted them into Nathan's arms, sending him stumbling backwards. "I don't care what you do with these, just get rid of them."

Nathan raised his eyebrows at Haley, who just giggled and shrugged her shoulders. All Nathan could do was mutter a quiet "yes, ma'am."

Lydia smiled gratefully at him. "Would you like some coffee or tea?"

Nathan shook his head. "Thank you, though. I should really get going."

"Okay," Lydia muttered with a small frown. "I take it I'll be seeing you around here often?"

Nathan nodded. "It was nice to meet, Mrs. James."

"Lydia," She corrected him a soft smile. "And likewise. I'll let you two have a few moments alone."

As soon as Lydia disappeared back into the kitchen, Haley whirled around to face Nathan and smiled brightly at him. The happiness radiating off of her was palpable.

"That went a lot better than I expected," She said excitedly.

Nathan pursed his lips and cocked an eyebrow. "What, did you think she wasn't going to like me? Were all of your pep talks just lies to placate me?"

Haley laughed loudly as she shook her head. She placed her hand on his arm in a comforting manner. "I never once doubted her liking you. I just expected there to be a lot more awkward moments."

"Well, in that case, it went a lot better than I expected, too," Nathan admitted. "So, are we still on for tomorrow night?"

Haley's smiled faded from happy to giddy. "Oh, yeah. I can't wait to see what you got me."

Nathan chuckled. "I just hope you like it."

"I'm sure that I will."

Nathan's lips curled up into a crooked smile as he gave a timid shrug towards the day. "I should go."

"Okay," Haley sighed. She leaned forward to pop a quick kiss on his mouth, ever so mindful of the bottles of wine still cradled in his arms.

"Luke is going to love this," Nathan mumbled after they pulled away, his chin gesturing towards the bottles of wine.

"Really?" Haley asked in skepticism.

"Oh, yeah, Luke loves Merlot," Nathan explained with a laugh. "It's his guilty pleasure."

"Good to know."

When Nathan finally left, Haley trotted into the kitchen. Lydia was standing at the counter, stirring her creamer into a steaming cup of coffee. She was softly singing to herself and Haley's heart warmed at the sight. Growing up, Haley could vividly remember her mom pottering around the house and humming songs to herself. Most of the time, it was a song that her father recently performed a cover of or even an original that he wrote.

It was such a small behavior trait of hers that had wiggled its way out of the dark, but it meant the world to Haley. The glimpses of the mom she used to know that kept popping up were like little speckles of hope. Hope that she didn't think she'd ever find again after seeing her mom sprawled out on the living room floor.

"Nathan seems like a great guy," Lydia spoke up a few moments later, peering teasingly over her mug.

"He is," Haley confirmed. She didn't even try to fight her crushed-out smile.

Lydia's playful smirk only grew. "You really like him, don't you?"

Haley casted her gaze downward as she slid into one of the dining table chairs. Her cheeks flushed the lightest shade of pink, her fingers drumming anxiously against the polished table. "Is it that obvious?"

Lydia laughed wholeheartedly, claiming the chair adjacent to Haley. One hand remained wrapped around her mug, while the other one reached out to still Haley's jittery hands. "You look at Nathan the same way I used to look at your father."

Haley's stomach flipped at the mention of her father. The topic of her father is one that Lydia usually avoids. Meeting Lydia's gaze, Haley took in the serious gleam in her tired eyes. The usual wrinkles around her eyes were soft, barely-there creases in her skin. The weight of her words sunk in slowly and her heartbeat began to slam in her chest.

"That's…intense," Haley choked out.

Lydia's grip on Haley's hand tightened, almost as if she could sense her sudden anxiety. "But you want to know something?"

"What?"

"Nathan looks at you the exact same way."

Haley wasn't sure what to do with that information. It felt like she couldn't breathe, but in a way that was almost euphoric. She couldn't find words to explain the way her stomach was knotting up and the way that she just wanted to jump out of her chair, screaming in pure bliss. Her body seemed to tingle with excitement and she silently wonder if that was what being in—

"What did you say Nathan's last name was again?" Lydia asked, forcing Haley's mind away from her lingering thoughts.

"Scott."

Lydia's lips drooped down in a slight frown. Her forehead wrinkled as if she were in deep concentration. Her change in mood had Haley's stomach knotting up again, for an entirely different reason.

"What is it, mom?"

Lydia took a swig of her coffee before speaking again. "Is he related to a Daniel and Deborah Scott?"

It was Haley's turn to frown. "T-those were his parents. Why?"

Lydia breathed out heavily. "There was this memorial that I saw down at the children's gift shop during one of my walks. The only reason I noticed it was because of how big it was and because it looked a lot newer than a few of the other memorials I saw around the hospital. Their names were in such bold letters, it was hard for me to forget."

Haley's mouth felt stuffed with cotton. Nathan had never mentioned anything to her about a memorial. She knew that some of the Scott's money was donated to a charitable cause. Maybe the children's hospital was that cause.

Lydia was looking at Haley in an expectant way, like she was waiting for her to elaborate on what she knew about the memorial. Clearing her throat, Haley forced out the words. "His parents' d-died in a house fire, uh, a couple of years ago."

Sadness and sympathy glazed over Lydia's eyes, her mouth falling into a deeper frown. "That poor boy," She whispered sadly. "That makes me just want to give him the biggest hug and never let him go."

"That's what I did when he first told me what happened," Haley lamented.

~x~

Haley quickly ran up the steps to the pale bricked house, the cool wind whipping her curly hair around. Pulling her hands out of the pockets of her jacket, she eagerly knocked on the teal door. She bounced on the balls of her feet, a sad attempt at keeping some of the warmth in her body, as she anxiously waited for the door to open. The butterflies in her stomach were flapping wildly.

Was she in over her head? Was she over-stepping her boundaries?

She didn't have time to dwell on her thoughts, because the door flew open. A gush of warmth brushed passed her, along with the strong scent of apple pie and flowers. Karen stood in the doorway, a welcoming smile on her face and a dish towel in her hand.

"Haley, hi!" Karen greeted joyfully, opening the door wider. "Come on in, you must be freezing."

Haley smiled as she stepped into the house, the heat pumping through the vents quickly erasing the chill from her bones. "I hope it's okay that I stopped by."

Karen shut the door behind Haley and quickly pulled her into a comforting hug, almost like they'd been friends for years. "Oh, honey, you're always welcome."

Haley melted into her embrace and breathed in her flowery scent. "Thank you."

"Would you like some coffee? I just made a fresh pot," Karen offered as she pulled away, walking further into the kitchen.

"No, I'm okay, thank you," Haley declined as she slid her jacket off her shoulders and took a seat at the kitchen table. With every passing second, her nerves seemed to melt away. Karen's warm and motherly glow put her at ease.

Karen tossed the dish towel to the side and grabbed a coffee cup from the dish rack, filling it up with the steaming liquid. "Lucas said that you wanted to talk to us?"

Haley nodded, crossing her legs. "Yes, I did. Is he here?"

Karen nodded as she took a seat across from Haley. "He and Keith are just finishing up something in the garage. They should be in soon. How's your mom doing?"

Haley smiled softly. "She's…doing better. I think the fact that we're going to visit family is taking her mind off of things."

"Family is sometimes the greatest medicine," Karen said with a gentle smile. "You know that if you need anything, we're all here for you."

"Thank you, Karen. That means a lot."

The back door of the kitchen swung open and collided roughly with the adjacent wall, causing both Karen and Haley to jolt in their seats. Keith and Lucas stumbled inside the house, laughing loudly at something. Their hands were extended in front of them, like doctors about to walk into surgery. From where Haley was sitting, she could see a thick coating of grease on their hands.

"Hey, Haley," Lucas greeted her as used his elbow to turn on the sink.

"Haley, it's nice to see you again!" Keith said joyfully. "You get tired of Nathan yet?"

Haley laughed lightly. Keith's playfulness is something that found comforting. "No, I haven't gotten rid of him, yet."

Keith scooted past Lucas to wash his hands, his head still angled towards Haley. "Darn, that means I lost the bet. I owe Karen fifty dollars now!"

Karen rolled her eyes. "Don't listen to him. He just likes to start trouble."

Keith laughed loudly, grabbing one of the kitchen towels to try his hands. "It's all a part of my charm," He teased. "So, what do we owe this pleasure?"

"You wanted to talk to us about something, right?" Lucas spoke up. He was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were squinted and his face was grim. He probably assumed that she was here to talk about something negative and that only makes her stomach tighten further.

"Uh, yes," Haley croaked. The entire way there, she had prepared a speech. She repeated it over and over again so that she wouldn't forget it. But now that she was there, with three sets of prodding eyes burning into her, her mind felt like a blank canvas.

"Is everything okay?" Karen asked, Haley's silence concerning her.

"Yeah, everything's fine," Haley babbled. Her hands were restlessly rubbing at her thighs. "It's actually about Nathan's Christmas present. I wanted to run it by you guys first, just in case you think it's a bad idea or if you think I'm crossing some kind of line with it."

"We'd be happy to help," Keith chirped. "As long you're not planning to propose to him or something."

Karen narrowed her eyes, reaching for the other dish towel that was resting beside her. Twirling it in her hands, she whacked Keith in the thigh with it. The smack of towel against jean resonated loudly through the small kitchen. "Knock it off!" She barked at him and he just laughed.

It was in that moment that Haley decided she didn't need to be nervous. They weren't going to laugh in her face or scream at her. They just weren't those types of people.

"I'm sorry, Haley," Keith apologized a moment later. "You have my full attention."

Haley inhaled deeply before explaining to them her idea. "Basketball is a huge part of Nathan's life, even if he doesn't openly admit it. I've seen him play on the river court countless times and he's _really_ good."

"He's one of the best players I know," Lucas piped up.

Haley nodded. "He has a natural talent, something that I'm sure a lot of athletes would kill for. It's not only his talent, though. When he plays, I see this spark in his eyes. It's a kind of happiness that I don't think he feels with anything else. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like he was born to play."

"I know exactly what you're talking about," Karen murmured.

A hopeful smile painted Haley's features. "I know that he used to play for the Ravens', once upon a time. I know he got messed up in some things and his grades suffered tremendously, which led to him getting kicked off the team. But he's really working hard on improving his grades and he seems really determined to get his life back on track. I think basketball could really help him accomplish that."

"You want to get him back on the team as a Christmas present? Is that what I'm hearing?" Keith asked for clarification. His eyes are glimmering with an acute happiness, his lips curled up in a gentle smile.

Haley nodded. "Or at least, a chance to get back on the team. He's stubborn and he's holding himself back, but I think with a push and the right support, he'd go for it."

A sniffle sounded from Karen. Haley's head jerked in her direction and her throat closed up at the sight of Karen crying. There was a look of wonder and grave admiration in her eyes. Goosebumps sprinkled Haley's skin. She wasn't sure how to read Karen's reaction.

"No one has ever cared about Nathan the way you do," She sobbed quietly, brushing the tears away from her eyes.

Haley shivered at her sincerity. That statement made her heart hurt yet soar at the same time. Nathan deserved to be endlessly cared for, but she was selfishly glad she was the first person, besides his family, to do so.

"You don't think it's a bad idea?" Haley pondered.

"I think it's a wonderful idea," Keith jumped in. "Whitey has been waiting for Nathan to make his return to the court."

Haley's eyebrows furrowed. "Whitey?"

"Coach Durham," Keith clarified. "It broke Whitey's heart when he had to cut Nathan from the team, but he didn't have a choice. He went to bat for him as long as he could, but administration won in the end."

"It's true," Lucas confirmed. "Coach won't let anyone wear the number 23. He asks me at least once a week when Nathan's coming back. It'll be hard to convince Nathan to go for it, but if anyone can do it I think it'd be you."

Complete elation erupted inside of Haley. "Really?"

"Absolutely."

Keith clapped his hands together excitedly. "I'll make a few calls."

~x~

Nathan did another sweep of the living room. All of the candles were lit, cloaking the room in a warm glow. The soft sound of Christmas music from stereo was floating through the apartment. It wasn't the most ideal set-up—no tree, no lights, no festive decorations—but it would have to do.

He'd never done anything even remotely romantic in his life. Not only did he never have the chance to, but he never had the desire to either. He never understood the appeal of romance. He always figured that card and candy companies only pushed those ideas on people so they could make a profit. But yet here he was, flailing around his apartment like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to make sure everything was perfect for their "Christmas." He couldn't spend a real Christmas with Haley since she was going out of town and he was hell-bent on making sure it was still magical for her.

Haley James had really done a number on him, in the best way possible.

Nervous wasn't an emotion that he felt often, but he found himself feeling it a lot the past few days. He practically gave himself an aneurysm with how much he worried over meeting Lydia James. He was well on his way to giving himself a second aneurysm with how much he was fretting over Haley's Christmas gift.

He wanted everything to be perfect. She'd had such a rough couple of days and even though things were looking up, he could still see the anguish in her eyes. She deserved a break and after all the reprieve she'd give him, he wanted to return the favor.

Tugging anxiously at the collar of his red dress shirt, another shirt Lucas so generously let him borrow, he glanced at watch on his wrist. Haley should be there any minute and his nerves skyrocketed. What if she hated her gift? What if he did something to screw their night up?

He can't help but wonder if he was always going to be this high strung over Haley. Everything about their relationship scared him. The oddest thing about it was that it wasn't the kind of fear he wanted to run away from. Running away used to be one of the things that he did best. That voice inside of his head was still there, constantly urging him to run away. To abandon his feelings before they got someone—Haley—hurt. But it wasn't louder than a mere whisper.

This was a kind of fear that he was going to embrace. It made him feel…alive. For the first time in God only knows how long, he was consciously aware of his heart beating and the blood flowing through his veins. He no longer felt like a shell of a dead man walking. For the first time in a while…he felt genuine hope.

A soft knock on the front door had him jumping out of his thoughts. Without wasting a second, he jogged over to the door and swung it open.

"I come baring gifts," Haley joked. Her smile was knee-weakening, her teeth seeming even brighter in contrast to the dark red lipstick painted on her lips. She was wearing a long black coat, leaving only a pair of red heels in his line of sight. She has a red and white gift bag dangling from one hand and medium sized box wrapped in red paper tucked under her other arm.

Nathan chuckled as he ushered her in. He grabbed the gifts out of her hands and placed them next to the ones he'd gotten for her. He smirked when he hears a gasp emit from her lips.

"Nathan," Haley breathed out in awe. She gazed around the apartment, taking in all of the candles and strands of lights. "You really didn't have to do all of this."

He shrugged as if it were no big deal. "I wanted to. It's our first Christmas together and I wanted to make it special."

Haley's brown eyes twinkled underneath the lights, her heart fluttering at his romantic gestures. Slowly, she began to un-button the long black coat she was wearing. Her skin felt like it was on fire when she realized Nathan was watching her with curious eyes. The last button slid through the hole and she let the coat glide off of her shoulders.

Nathan's eyes stretched to twice their size. He swore his heart stopped beating and he couldn't move. He couldn't think. All he could do was stare.

Haley's hair, which was previously tucked underneath her jacket, fell over her bare shoulders in small, gentle ringlets. His eyes fell to the dress she's wearing. It's a deep, wine red, a color that contrasted perfectly with her skin. The material is shiny, almost silk like. Thin straps held up the modest v-neckline. The dress plunged to the floor and a slit ran up her right thigh.

There weren't enough adjectives in the world to describe how beautiful she looked. He still couldn't stop staring as his fingers itched with the desire to touch her. He wanted to say something, anything that would tell her just how amazing she looked. But he couldn't. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth.

Haley involuntarily shivered at the way his eyes faded from a cerulean blue to a midnight blue. He wasn't saying anything, which caused her to shift her weight self-consciously. Brooke had practically forced her to wear this dress, claiming that it would be a gift in itself to Nathan. She couldn't help but wonder if maybe listening to Brooke wasn't the best idea.

"Brooke sort of talked me into wearing this dress," Haley whispered unsurely.

Hearing her quivering voice seemed to break Nathan out of his stupor. Closing the distance between them, he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her flush against him. He almost groaned out loud at the silky-smooth feel of the dress. With his free hand, he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, letting his fingers dance over her flushed skin.

"Remind me to write a Brooke Davis a thank you card," He purred huskily.

Haley blushed further, her arms coiling around his neck. His dress shirt is cold underneath her blistering skin. "That good?"

Nathan nodded, leaning in closer to her. "You're so fucking beautiful, Hales. You're easily the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

The desire in his tone, paired with the feel of his lips brushing against hers, made Haley snap. Her fingers gripped the collar of his shirt, pulling him into a fierce kiss. His hands gripped her waist hard, holding her to him as their lips moved viscerally against each other. She quickly lost herself in him. He was everywhere—the smell cologne, the taste of his lips, and the feel of his hands were driving her insane.

Nathan gently pushed Haley backwards until her back collided with the front door. She gripped his shirt tighter and tries to pull him even closer to her. He let his one hand fall to her bare thigh and he couldn't control the groan that bubbled up his throat. Her skin was so soft and smooth. The breathy sighs that were falling from her lips only spurred him on further.

No one had ever started such a fire inside of him like Haley did was a single kiss.

Haley was sure she would have melted into a puddle if it wasn't for Nathan's strong grip on her. The feel of his hard and muscular body pressing her into the door, combined with his lips kissing a fiery trail down the length of her neck had her feeling like she was going to combust. A moan hitched in her throat when Nathan's hands swept under her dress, massaging the inner part of her thigh.

"Nathan."

"You taste so good," He murmured into her skin.

She needed to feel more of him. Her shaky hands slid down his chest and made their way towards the buttons on his shirt. She was just about to push the first button through the hole when the sound of the oven going off had them breaking apart.

"You cooked something?" Haley questioned breathlessly. A look of incredulity marred her features.

Nathan silently cursed the oven for interrupting them. Reluctantly, he pulled himself away from her. He couldn't stop his mind from wondering what would have happened if the oven didn't go off. He blinked hard a few times to get his body under control. Once he felt stable again, he walked over to the stove.

"No, but Karen did."

Haley whimpered quietly when he completely detached himself from her. Her body instantly felt the loss of his. Shaking the fog from her mind, she followed him over to the stove and watched as he carefully pulled the glass dish out of the oven.

"What did she make?"

"It's a chicken casserole. It's to die for."

The delicious aroma of the food wafted passed her and Haley's stomach growled lightly in response. It smelled amazing, which didn't surprise her. Karen was an amazing cook, probably one of the best she'd ever met.

Nathan grabbed two glass plates from the cupboard and carefully spooned a healthy portion on to each place. Haley couldn't help but giggle a little at how domestic Nathan looked, rushing around the kitchen to serve dinner. She would have never pegged him as the domestic type. Walking over to the couch, they both carefully sat down to eat.

"Wow, this is really good," Haley exclaimed after taking a bite of the food. "You'll have to remind _me_ to write Karen a thank-you card."

Nathan chuckled, "I told you."

"I still can't believe that you went through all of this."

"I honestly wish I could have done more, like get a tree or something," Nathan mumbled after swallowing a bite of his food.

Haley shook her head. "No, this is perfect."

Nathan's heart fluttered at the blissful expression on her face. She looked so happy, a stark contrast to her mood a few days prior. Her eyes were lighter, her smile was genuine, and that natural glow about her that drew him to her was shining brighter. He realized then that he would do absolutely anything to keep her that happy.

"Tell me about your favorite Christmas."

Haley blinked hard at his request. It took her a couple of seconds before a smile stretched across her lips. "When I was 9, we were living in Pennsylvania and we were hit with this monster of a snow storm. I remember waking up on Christmas morning, looking out the window, and seeing nothing but white. The snow was up to my windowsill."

Nathan grimaced. "That sounds terrible. I'm not a big fan of snow."

Haley laughed. "I thought it was the coolest thing. Anyway, after we were done opening presents, my dad suggested that we go play in the snow. All of us kids and my parents spent the entire day playing in the snow. Snowball fights, snow forts…we did it all. It was one of the only times we were all together and no one got into a fight about something stupid."

A warm and fuzzy feeling coated Nathan. "That sounds really wonderful."

"It was," Haley asserted. "What about you?"

Swallowing his last bite of food, Nathan placed his dish on the coffee table. He sat back on the couch, his hands laced together and resting on his stomach. "I don't think I have one."

Haley gasped in mock-shock. "Come on, you have to have one!"

Nathan shook his head. "All of my Christmases with my parents were the best. They always went all out, kind of like with Halloween. It would be impossible for me to choose a favorite."

Haley sighed happily. "I guess that's fair."

Out of the corner of his eye, Nathan caught a glimpse of their presents. A fresh wave of anxiety washed over him, his stomach knotting up anxiously. He'd forgotten all about his apprehension over giving Haley her gift until he saw that little gold and white wrapped package. Coughing to clear his throat, he turned to face Haley.

"Do you want to watch a movie first or open presents first?"

Haley shot him a look, anxiously bouncing in her seat. As scared as she was to see Nathan's reaction to her gift, she was also excited. "What do you think?"

Nathan sighed as he stood up from the couch. "Right, stupid question."

He cleared away their dishes, placing them in the sink. His hands were trembling as he covered the left-over casserole with aluminum foil and put it in the fridge. He knew he was being irrational. He could have gotten Haley a pack of gum for Christmas and she'd still be over the moon. That's just the type of person she was.

Plopping down on the couch, Nathan slapped his hands against his knees and willed his heartbeat to relax. "So, who goes first?"

"Me!" Haley blurted out. When she realized how overly excited she sounded, her hands clasped over her mouth. "I'm sorry."

Nathan chuckled, shaking his head at her. "You were a spoiled child during Christmas, weren't you?"

Haley shrugged innocently. "The perks of being the youngest."

Sighing, Nathan reached for his gift and carefully passed it from one hand to the other, kind of like he was handling a basketball. "I've never really bought Christmas presents, especially for a girl. Most of the time buying gifts meant buying a pack of trading cards for Lucas at the dollar store."

"Nathan," Haley cooed softly, scooting closer to him on the couch. His forehead was wrinkled in apprehension and she could see the way his hands were quivering. She squeezed his wrist in comfort. "I know I've been over excited about this, and that's just because I love the holidays. But you could have gotten me nothing and this little evening would have been perfect. I'm not the kind of girl that needs to be showered with gifts."

Her little speech calmed him down enough to hand her the small box. "I had Karen wrap it, because there was no way I could have done that without it looking like a train wreck."

Haley giggled, her fingers dusting over the decorative wrapping paper. Carefully, and with a pounding heard, she ripped the paper from the box. Under the paper was a small black box. Gently, she pulled the lid off the box and her heart jumped in her throat when she saw what was inside.

It was a silver bracelet, five different charms dangling from it. She picked it up, a look of pure awe on her face. The charms glistened under the Christmas lights and candles—a camera, a basketball, a seashell, an angel, and a key. It was absolutely perfect.

"I know jewelry is kind of the cliché thing to do—"

"It's perfect," Haley cut him off. "It's absolutely perfect."

He could breathe again.

"May I?" Nathan asked timidly, pointing towards the bracelet. When Haley handed it to him, he fastened it around her wrist, his fingers lightly brushing over her skin. His voice is hoarse with emotion as he speaks. "The camera is for your love for photography, the basketball stands for the river court and all of interesting moments that we've had there, the seashell represents our secret spot on the beach, an angel because you've saved me…you're my guardian angel, and a key, because you're the first person I've felt like I could open up to."

Haley blinked back the tears that had formed in her eyes. She was at a loss for words. His gift was so thoughtful and it made her dizzy with emotion. The words he spoke to her, the way he was looking at her…it took her breath away. Flinging her arms around his neck, she pulled into a tight hug.

"I love it," She said tearfully. "Thank-you so much."

He held her close, breathing in her vanilla perfume and her natural scent. Holding her in his arms was the perfect gift. He didn't even want to open his gifts. Holding her was all he really needed, anyway. But she had other plans. Pulling away from him, she pointed at his gifts.

"The bag first," Haley directed him. She was chewing on her bottom lip as he picked up the bag.

Removing the tissue paper first, he reached inside and was surprised when he felt the leathery texture of a basketball. Gripping it with both hands, he pulls out the circular object. It's a brand-new basketball. It was a bright orange and the leather was scuff free. It was inflated just the right amount, the scent of new leather coming off of it in waves.

"I noticed that your basketball was getting a little worn out," Haley explained. "Is it okay?"

He twirled the ball between his hands. The fact that she noticed such a small thing about him warmed his heart. Her attentiveness will never not blow him away.

"It's perfect," He echoed her words from earlier. "Thank-you, Hales."

"You're not done yet," Haley reminded him, nudging towards the other unopened present. This was the one that has her practically jumping in her seat. She felt nauseated as he began to tear away at the paper. In her mind, he wasn't going fast enough and she felt like screaming at him to just rip the paper into smithereens. She was convinced she was going to go into cardia arrest from how fast her heart was beating.

Nathan took the lid off of the box and brushed away the tissue paper. His world stopped spinning when he was what was underneath. He froze as every single molecule of his body froze.

A Ravens' jersey.

Not just any Ravens' jersey… _his_ Ravens' jersey.

His name in black and white letters shined back at him. The large blue "23" was staring back at him. That wasn't real. It couldn't be. When he reached out to touch it and felt polyester between his fingertips, he swallowed hard.

"What is this?" Nathan barely managed. He looked at Haley with wide, bewildered eyes.

"It's yours…if you want it," Haley replied. She couldn't read his reaction. There was no anger. There was no happiness. He was just…in shock.

"W-what? H-how?"

"To make a long story short, I talked to your family and Keith made a few calls," Haley quickly spat out. "Whitey is willing to give you another chance, if you want it."

"I-I, oh, wow, I," He stammered. He's not sure what to say or even think. When he met her eyes, the guilt hit him like a ton of bricks. She looked scared, terrified that maybe she crossed a line she shouldn't have. "Did you do this for me?"

Haley can only nod weakly.

"H-Hales, I don't know what to say."

He was completely blown away by this gesture. Playing basketball again scared the shit out of him. Being back on that court, without his parent to cheer him on in the crowd, felt like a nightmare. But seeing that jersey in the flesh and just knowing that he had a chance to play again…it lit a fire inside of him.

"I know that you're scared to play again. I know how much it hurts that you can't share basketball with your dad. But I also know how much you love it. You have so much talent, Nathan. And I know that deep down, you still want to play. So, I just thought that maybe if I gave you a little push, you'd find the strength to do it. I hope I didn—"

He pressed his lips to hers in a passionate kiss, effectively cutting her rambling off. A few moments later, he pulled away. "You're amazing," He choked out, resting his forehead against hers.

Haley's forehead crinkled in confusion. "What? You're not mad?"

Nathan shook his head vigorously. "That is the greatest thing someone has ever done for me."

The weight of dread dissipated from her shoulders. She smiled gently at him. "Does this mean you're going to play?"

His body visibly tensed. "I-I don't know if I can."

"Nathan…,"

He shook his head softly. "The idea of playing again…it excites me more than I thought it would. I didn't think seeing that jersey again was going to make me yearn to wear it again. But, I, I just don't know. It's not something that I can just decide to do again on a whim."

Haley nodded in understanding. Cupping his cheeks in the palms of her hands, she pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "You don't have to decide anything right now. You still have a couple of weeks before the season starts."

"Thank-you," He murmured with so much emotion, her skin tingled. "Thank you, so much. You are heaven-sent, Haley James."

"Merry Christmas, Nathan Scott."


	20. Chapter 20

I am so sorry for how long this took me to post. It was honestly unprecedented. The end of the semester kind of snuck up on me and I was bombarded with papers, exams, and presentations. I had most of this chapter written like the weekend after Thanksgiving, but I just could not find the time to actually sit down and wrap it up. I sincerely apologize. Thankfully, my semester is finally over on Wednesday and I'll have a month to breathe. I'm planning on posting a lot of new material over that month- one shots, updates to this, and I kind of have a fun little story that I've been working on. Soo, hopefully you guys are excited to hear that!

This chapter has very minimal Naley, which I know kind of sucks, but it is all very necessary. We're getting close to the climax of this story. A lot things and a lot of changes are going to start happening...dun dun dun. Also, I didn't proofread again. One of these days I'll stop staying up super late to write a chapter and then be too tired to read it over, I promise.

* * *

 _As soon as Nathan hopped off the bus, he took off running. His sneakers scraped roughly against the concrete, tiny rocks flying haphazardly. His backpack smacked against his back with the intensity, strong gusts of wind burning his face. But he couldn't stop running. He had to get home and fast._

 _His father was going to be so happy and Nathan couldn't wait to tell him the good news. Nathan hadn't stopped smiling since he found out. His cheeks were starting to hurt, but he welcomed the discomfort. In fact, he relished in it. Never in his life had he ever been this happy._

 _Nathan was exceptionally tall for a fourteen-year-old, his legs stretching in long and purposeful strides. It wasn't long before his house came into view and his excited smile widened even further. He ran as fast as could the rest of the distance, ignoring his rapid heartbeat and burning lungs, begging him to slow down._

 _When he reached the front door, he quickly pushed it open and carelessly tossed his backpack by the coat rack. He skidded across the perfectly polished floors, frantically searching room after room for his father. He didn't slow down until he slid straight into mother. Deb stumbled a little, almost dropping the basket full of laundry she was holding._

 _"Woah, where's the fire, kid?" Deb laughed, her eyes taking in Nathan's flushed cheeks and heaving chest. The excitement he was radiating was palpable._

 _"Where's dad?" Nathan puffed out, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet._

 _"He's out back, making dinner," Deb responded, arching an eyebrow. "Is everything okay, Nathan?"_

 _"Everything's great!" Nathan shouted as he took off running again, leaving Deb both very confused and very amused._

 _Darting through the back door, Nathan's stomach flipped in excitement when he finally spotted his father. Dan was standing at the grill, flipping what looked and smelled like ribs. He was humming along to the song that was playing on the radio, lost in his own little world. It wasn't until Nathan cleared his throat did Dan turn around._

 _"Nate! How was school?" Dan asked with a smile, clicking the tongs together._

 _Nathan had planned out exactly how he was going to tell his father, but in that moment, his plans didn't seem to matter. The words just flew out of his mouth without any warning._

 _"I made the team! Varsity! I'm the only freshman who did!"_

 _Dan blinked hard at Nathan's outburst. It seemed to take a few seconds of the news to register. Once it did, Dan's eyes light up and his smile stretched from ear to ear. Tossing the tongs back on the grill, he threw an arm around Nathan and squeezed him tight._

 _"I knew you could do it," Dan praised. "I'm so proud of you, son."_

 _Nathan beamed. "Varsity, dad. See?" He unzipped the dark blue hoodie that he was wearing to reveal the white, blue, and black Ravens' jersey. He had tossed it on over his t-shirt as soon as he'd gotten his hands on it._

 _Dan tossed his head back as he barked out a laugh. "I can't believe you wore your jersey home. And I'm not surprised to see that you picked the number '23.'"_

 _Nathan shrugged indifferently. "It was Jordan's number, I had to."_

 _Dan shook his head in amusement. "What about your brother? Did he make the team?"_

 _Nathan nodded quickly. "Junior Varsity. He picked number '3.'"_

 _"That's still a hell of an accomplishment. I'm going to have to call him later to congratulate him," Dan mumbled. "I always knew you boys were going to give me a run for my money."_

~x~

A small smile graced Nathan's lips as that memory played over and over again in his mind. That was one of the greatest days of his life. It was also the last day that Nathan had ever felt such a blissful happiness.

Basketball had always been something that Nathan and his father bonded over. Lucas, too. It started off as just something fun they'd do together, when Nathan was still a kid. They spent most Saturdays outside, playing with the basketball hoop that was set up in the driveway. They'd laugh and play until the sun went down and they could no longer see the hoop clearly. It was their little weekly tradition.

It wasn't until Nathan and Lucas got a little older did their love for the game turn serious. When they expressed interest in playing the game in an organized fashion, Dan took to coaching them and teaching them all that he knew. They still played together, but instead of it being just a free-for-all, it was much more serious.

The thing that Nathan loved most about Dan was that he never pushed them. He never forced them to do anything that they didn't want to do. He'd heard so many horror stories, and even witnessed a few of them, where fathers turned into nightmares when it concerned their sons and sports. That wasn't Dan's style. His sons' love for the game and happiness was the only thing that mattered to Dan.

It was those memories that made what Nathan was about to do hurt like a bitch.

His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles fading white. The words "Tree Hill Cemetery" glared back at him. His whole body was tingling, like tiny needles were piercing every inch of his skin. His chest felt heavy, like a gigantic boulder was pressing down on it. There was an ache in his bones, one that made him feel brittle and weak.

He hated feeling like that, which was exactly the reason he opted for visiting the cemetery only when he was drunk. The alcohol numbed his pain…it numbed everything. He didn't have to think when he was drunk. Everything was just so much easier. He honestly couldn't remember the last time that he had visited the cemetery, sober. Maybe that's because…he never had.

 _Just get out of the car, Nathan. You can do this._

He closed his eyes and forced himself to take a few deep breaths. He was stronger than the war raging inside of him. He was stronger than that little voice of doubt that constantly tried to knock him down.

Working on pure adrenaline, Nathan forced himself out of his car and through the gates of the cemetery. He kept his head down, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket. He feared that if he looked around and took the time to soak in his surroundings, he would lose his courage. He already made it this far and to back down now would be a disappointment.

His throat closed up the second he laid eyes on the two grave stones he was looking for. Seeing them with a clear mind and sharp vision felt like a punch in the gut, almost knocking him to his knees. The pain ripped through him like a knife, paralyzing him. It was agonizing. It was terrifying.

It was…oddly refreshing and cleansing, like it was something that he needed.

Clutching his chest, Nathan sank to his knees. Pressure was building rapidly behind his eyes and the back of his throat was burning. Every single day, he was conscious of the fact that his parents were no longer around. He felt their absence every day. He felt that hole in his chest. But even will all those side effects, it sometimes didn't feel real. Being in that cemetery made it real and it left him breathless.

So many memories—good and bad—flashed before his eyes. That had happened to him so many times before, but he never got used to it. A few tears trailed down his cheeks in hot tracks. He promised himself that he wasn't going to cry, but apparently that promise meant nothing. All of the emotions inside of him seemed to rush to the surface at once.

Nathan wasn't sure how long he sat there, crying. His eyes never once left the two gray stones. It surprised him that he was still there. The urge to bolt was strong. It would have been so easy to take off running like he had so many times before. But he couldn't. This was what he needed, no matter how hard it was or how much it hurt.

Eventually, his tears subsided and the burning in his chest faded into a dull ache. Swallowing hard, he glanced around the rest of the cemetery. To his delight, he was alone. He cleared his throat, before sitting back. He repositioned himself so that his knees were propped up and his arms circled them.

"Hey mom, hey dad," Nathan finally forced out, his voice cracking sharply. He felt a little strange talking to their graves. He'd never done anything like that before, but something about it felt right. He wasn't sure he believed in spirits or ghosts or even an afterlife, but it comforted him that maybe, in some dimension, they could hear him.

He paused to take in a shaky breath. "I'm…I'm not really sure how to do this. I've never been good with words, which you know."

Nathan chuckled softly as he rubbed the palms of his hands together. His heart was pounding wildly in his chest and his mind was racing.

"I guess 'I'm sorry' would be a good place to start," Nathan continued shakily. "I'm sorry…for always showing up here, drunk. I-I know how much you always hated the smell of whiskey, mom."

He had to stop again. His throat felt like it was clogging up again.

"It's been so hard…," Nathan trailed off, shaking his head. He couldn't go there. The reason he was there wasn't to rehash every sliver of pain he'd ever felt after their passing. He wasn't trying to gloss over his pain or ignore it, he just wasn't going to allow himself to lose sight of what really mattered.

He sighed deeply, before finding his voice again. His heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he was surprised it didn't burst.

"I came here today, because I—there's something I wanted to talk to you about. I have a decision that I need to make and…and it didn't feel right to make it without talking to you both. Especially you, dad."

A giant gust of wind blew past him and his eyes snapped closed. Without much effort, he could perfectly imagine his parents beside him.

Deb would be holding his hand, her fingers squeezing his gently. Her hazel eyes would be warped with a concern and love that only a mother would experience. She'd given him that look countless times before, mostly when he was sick or sitting her down for a talk much like this one. Her concern would prompt to her to ask him every few minutes "are you okay?"

Dan, the calmer one of the two, would handle any situation like this with such grace. That same look of love and concern would reflect in his eyes, but always remained positive. No matter what the talk was about or how sick Nathan might have been, Dan always looked at the bright side of things. He was great when it came to handling problems or tough situations.

Imagining them beside him gave him the strength to go on.

"There's this girl—her name's Haley," He began again, his eyes sliding open. "She's my girlfriend. There's so much I could say about her. She's so beautiful, has an amazing heart, and she makes me happy…something I wasn't sure I would ever feel again. I know you're probably begging to ask me so many questions about her, aren't you, mom?"

Nathan chuckled softly to himself, the picture in his head changing to Deb excitedly firing question after question at him. "What's Haley like?" "Is she smart?" "Does she have a good heart?" "When can I meet her?"

"Anyway, she is, um, actually trying to get me to play basketball again," Nathan whispered to the ground, a cold sweat slipping over his skin. Just saying those words out loud sent a jolt through him. "I'm…I'm not sure if I should play again. I don't know if I _can_ play again."

Nathan sat in silence for a few moments. His chest was heaving as the emotions rushed to the surface again. His eyes were burning as he fought to keep the tears in. He was too close to fall apart now.

"I-I don't want to let you down, dad. I know that I have and I'm so sorry. I am so sorry," Nathan cried. "But, I do still love game. Is that okay? Can I still love it? I just, I don't know how any of this works. Is there a way for you to give me a sign or something? Can you hear me? I just…I need to know it's okay to still love it."

Nathan's gaze darted around the cemetery desperately. He hadn't a clue what he was looking for. Was he supposed to hear something? Was something supposed to pop out at him? This was ridiculous…

It wasn't until the sun started peeking out of the grey and dreary clouds did a shiver pass through him. He wasn't sure what happened in that moment, but he felt something change. Maybe it was crazy desperation. Maybe he was so desperate to believe in something that his mind was playing tricks on him. But he believed that was his sign.

~x~

"Haley James, you get even more beautiful every time I see you!"

Before Haley knew it, Vivian's arms were wrapped around her in a tight embrace. Haley closed her eyes to soak in the warmth and the gardenia smell that followed Vivian around wherever she went. She buried her head in Vivian's long chestnut hair and breathed in deeply. The stress of the last couple of weeks seemed to melt away from Haley instantaneously.

Vivian James-White was many things. She was a mother to two beautiful girls. She was a wife to a wonderful and selfless man. She was also an excellent pediatric nurse, working at one of the most elite hospitals in the state of Ohio. But by far her most important role was being the perfect older sister.

"And you seem to get even older every time I see you," Haley joked lightheartedly, causing Vivian to laugh.

A few seconds later, Vivian pulled away, her hands resting on Haley's forearms. Her hazel eyes were twinkling in concern. Haley's stomach knotted up anxiously. She knew what was coming and although it was necessary, she selfishly wished they could pretend everything was normal.

"Are you doing okay?" Vivian asked gently. Her voice took on a maternal softness, a quality she had always possessed, even before having kids.

The corner of Haley's lips twitched into a hint of a smile. "I'm hanging in there."

Vivian smiled sadly. "You always were the strongest."

Haley swallowed hard. The familiar burn of tears was crawling up her throat, but she choked it down. The wave of emotion took her by surprise. Ever since Haley hashed things out with her mom, she'd felt pretty numb about the whole situation. Seeing the gleam of hurt and worry in her sister's eyes made the situation raw.

"I'm really sorry that you had to go through all of this alone," Vivian continued on, brushing her knuckles against the curve of Haley's cheek. "I wish I could have been there. For you and for mom."

Haley shook her head softly. "It's okay, I understand. Besides, we're all together now and that's all that matters."

"Whew, I finally found it!" Lydia announced, strolling over to Haley and Vivian with a pleated carry-on bag dangling off her arm. "I had to wrestle it away from old women's paws. Can you believe that she actually believed that this bag was hers? Woman needs to get her eyes checked, I heard those are the first to go when you get old."

"Mom!" Haley scolded, her eyes widening at Lydia's brazen and borderline rude comment. Almost eighteen years of dealing with her mom's boisterous and eccentric and Lydia still managed to take her by surprise, sometimes.

Vivian tossed her head back, a musical laugh falling from her lips. "You're still as bold as ever, mom."

"Oh, sweetie, no one's ever gonna dull this sparkle," Lydia joked with a wink.

Haley's heart felt lighter as she watched her mom and sister embrace in a tight hug. They'd only been in Vivian's presence a few short moments and the color was already returning to Lydia's skin. Her eyes looked brighter, warmth shining in the flecks of color.

"Let's get you guys out of here. I'm sure you're exhausted from the flight and want to get some rest," Vivian said once they broke the embrace. "Let me get that for you, Mom."

"Are you sure it's okay that we crash at your place, Viv?" Haley asked as she hoisted her bag from the ground and over her shoulder. "The hotel rates around here weren't all that bad."

Vivian arched her eyebrows in disapproval. "Nonsense! One of the great things about having a husband who is a prestigious lawyer is that I have a bunch of guest rooms that are just dying to be used."

"Speaking of Michael, where is he? You didn't leave him in the car again, did you?" Lydia cracked with a giggle.

"Of course, I did," Vivian teased back, her shoulder's shrugging nonchalantly. "Actually, he had a trial today. His last one of the year."

"That's exciting," Haley commented. "How about Quinn? Is she here yet?"

Vivian nodded. "Her flight landed last night. She would have tagged along, but she took Cameron and Lily out for some last minute Christmas shopping."

"Oh, I cannot wait to see my little granddaughters. I got them the cutest gifts!"

~x~

Nathan stuffed his hands in the pocket of his jeans. His eyes moved around the small office in slow motion, like he was trying to commit every square inch to memory. He'd been in that same office a million times before and nothing about it had changed. Not the dark green walls, not the metal desk, and not the feeling of dread that buried itself in the pit of Nathan's stomach.

His insides were shaking as he willed himself to keep it together. Damien's venomous voice was deafening, the angry shouts full of nothing but expletives and insults. Nathan flinched when Damien's hand visibly clenched around the phone pressed to his ear. He waited with baited breath for the phone to snap under the pressure. Damien's eyes were alight with a type of disdain that made Nathan's stomach churn bitterly.

He would have hated to be whoever was on the receiving end of that phone call.

"Are you a fucking idiot?" Damien boomed. He slammed his hand down on the desk and shot up from his chair. A loud bang ricocheted through the office as the metal rattled and quaked.

Instinctively, Nathan backed up against the wall. His heart was pounding in his chest and his throat felt like it was sealed shut. Damien's anger wasn't directed at him, but seeing him blow up at someone brought back every painful memory that normally haunted him in his dreams. Damien had talked to him in that same tone and looked at him with those same daggers _that_ night.

The blood pumping through his veins had run cold.

"I warned you about this," Damien spat on. "I don't give second chances and even if I did, you wouldn't be worthy of one. Watch your back, bitch."

Nathan stared at Damien as he ended the call and whipped the phone across the room. It hit the wall with a thud and shattered. The pieces scattered across the floor. Nathan kept his face grim, his lips pressed into a hard line and his eyes emotionless. He knew not to say a word until Damien addressed him first.

Damien ran one hand through his unruly hair, the other resting in a tight fist against the desk. His knuckles were faded white and Nathan swore he could hear his teeth grinding together. The silence between them felt thick with tension and apprehension. It was eerily silent, except for Damien's heavy breathing.

Minutes ticked by before Damien finally lifted his head up to look at Nathan. "That fucker owes me five grand," He drawled. The venom was thick and Nathan's skin crawled.

With wide eyes, he observed Damien walking over to a locked cabinet stuffed in the corner. Without even paying attention, he spun the combination into the lock and tore the cabinet open. Nathan's knees clanked together when Damien pulled out a gun. The cool grey metal glinted in the low light and Nathan's eyes were drawn to it like a magnet.

Alarms were going off in Nathan's head. His brain wanted him to run, but his feet were motionless. The sound of Damien inserting the bullets into the breach was deafening. His heart was slamming in his chest and his head was spinning. A chill was slithering down his spine.

"Y-you're gonna kill him?" Nathan stuttered.

Damien chuckled cynically and Nathan gulped.

"Kill him? No, that would be way too easy of a punishment. I want him to suffer."

There were no traces of remorse in Damien's demeanor. There was no hesitation, just conviction. His eyes looked dulled and lifeless…evil. Damien wasn't human. There was no way someone could be that monstrous and have a beating heart.

"Looking a little pale there, Nate," He taunted.

Nathan jumped and his heart skipped a beat. Damien was now standing in front of him. He just pressed his lips together and gave a quick shake of his head. He didn't trust himself to speak.

"I don't remember you being so skittish," Damien continued to taunt. He lifted up the gun and inched slowly towards Nathan's face.

Nathan thought for sure he was going to pass out. His gaze remained fixated on the sturdy metal as it moved closer and closer to his face. He held his breath and refused to blink. When the cool metal made contact with the heated skin of his cheek, he fought back a gasp.

Damien's smirk made every hair on Nathan's body stand straight up. He was tracing his cheek with the barrel of the gun and Nathan could practically smell the gun powder. When Damien pressed the barrel of the gun to his temple, Nathan inhaled sharply. His eyes started to water, but he refused to look away from Damien's gaze.

"Let this be a warning to you," Damien began lowly. The smirk was gone and replaced with a stone expression. "If you fuck with me again and decided you want to cross me, I will pull the trigger."

Nathan swallowed the lump in his throat and curtly nodded.

He could breathe again when Damien pulled the gun away. "Give Haley a kiss for me."

And with that, he was gone.

Long moments passed before Nathan could move again. Every muscle in his body was coated with tension. He could still feel the gun pressed to his temple and his stomach churned. He couldn't stop shaking and everything around him felt cloudy.

One slip of a finger and he would've been dead. He'd been close to death before. A couple of breaths away, in fact. During those moments, all he felt was numbness. He wasn't scared. He couldn't have cared whether he lived or died. But in that moment, he was terrified.

All he could think about was Haley and how he hadn't had enough time with her. She was the reason he wanted to stay alive. She was the reason he feared death.

His phone vibrating in his pocket was what finally brought him back to reality. Fishing for his phone and pulling it out of his pocket, he felt a sense of relief at seeing Haley's name on the screen. It was kind of ironic how she always managed to appear when he needed her those most.

 _We landed safely and are on our way to my sister's house. I miss you already. Talk to you soon._

~x~

Haley's eye widened as they stepped through the front door of Vivian and Michael's Victorian home. The last time she had been there was right after they'd moved in. Vivian was pregnant with their second child and ready to pop at any given moment. Haley could vividly remember her complaining about how her ankles were swollen to the size of Jupiter and that bending down felt like competing in a triathlon. Instead of helping with the moving boxes, Vivian just barked orders, rightfully so.

The two-story house was just as beautiful back then as it was now, but all of the Christmas decorations seemed to make it even more immaculate. The winding staircase was wrapped in a set of white and red twinkling lights. A couple strands of white and silver garland was weaved between the strands of the lights, as well.

To the left of the front door was a gigantic Christmas tree. The tree towered high, the Angel topper barely fitting beneath the ceiling. Stands of white lights were perfectly layered around the tree and bulbs in the shape of snowflakes, stockings, and gingerbread men were strategically placed on the tree's branches. An array of presents, wrapped in gold and red festive paper, rested underneath the tree.

A fire was lit in the fire place, the soft crackling sounds wafting through the entire house. A group of presents made completely out of green, gold, red, and blue lights were illuminated in the other corner of the living room. Small, white poinsettias acted as the perfect centerpieces on all of the tables.

"Wow, Viv, you've really out done yourself," Haley complimented with grave admiration.

Vivian shrugged her tan jacket off her shoulders and neatly placed it on the coat rack beside the door. "I always go all out for the holidays, especially Halloween and Christmas. Lily and Cam love it."

"You definitely got your decorating knack from me," Lydia asserted, her eyes drinking in the decorations and her eyes shining with appreciation.

"That I did," Vivian agreed. "Come on, I'll show you to your guest rooms."

After settling into her guest room, which for Haley meant unpacking her clothes and making sure her bed had at least four pillows, she headed back to the living room. She could hear Lydia and Vivian chatting away about some recipe in the kitchen. It made her smile whenever Lydia laughed, a noise that she hadn't heard much of the course of the last few months.

Plopping down on the black plush couch, she curled herself around one of the pillows. As happy as she was to be around her family, she couldn't stop herself from thinking about Nathan, which then led to missing him. This was the first time that they'd ever spent time apart and she felt like a silly school girl for experiencing the withdrawals that she was experiencing.

In her defense, the last time she'd properly seen him was at their "Christmas date". Between packing for Ohio and taking care of her mom, they didn't have the time to properly hang out. She was able to stop by his apartment before heading to the airport, but that wasn't nearly enough time.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she giggled to herself when she saw Nathan's name light up the screen. They were so in-sync sometimes, it was borderline terrifying.

 _God, I miss you. Have fun with your family. Call me when you can._

With a soft smile, she quickly typed out her reply— _I wish you were here._

Only a few minutes passed before her phone buzzed again.

 _You can't say things like that to me, baby. I might be crazy enough to hop on a plane._

A wide and giddy smile spread across her face as her stomach fluttered. He could say the—

"Who's the boy?"

Haley was jolted out of her thoughts by that accusing tone. Looking up, she squealed happily when she saw Quinn standing in the doorway. Her arms were crossed over chest, a perfectly shaped eyebrow arched, and her red lips pulled up in a smirk. Her auburn hair was perfectly curled, contrasting perfectly with her black sweater and burgundy jeans.

"Quinn!" Haley exclaimed, scurrying off the couch and into a Quinn's open arms. "I didn't even hear you come in."

Quinn laughed as they rocked back and forth. "That's because you were too busy texting."

Haley's face flushed pink as they pulled away. "How are you? How did your exams go?"

Quinn perched a hand on her hip and pursed her lips. Haley knew that look—Quinn wasn't going to let her get away with changing the subject. "They were good. I passed all of my classes, which is all that matters. Quit avoiding the subject, who's the boy?"

Haley avoided eye contact as she launched herself back on the couch. Grabbing a pillow, she held it close to her chest as an attempt to hide from Quinn. "Why do you think there's a boy?"

Quinn rolled her eyes as she sat down next to Haley. "Because you're doing the 'I like a boy' face twitch."

Haley could feel her cheeks heating up. She sunk lower into the couch, hiding her face behind the pillow. "I don't have a face twitch."

"Yes, you do," Quinn laughed, giving her a nudge. "Now, come on, tell me all about this boy. I've really missed our sister-talks."

A small smile tugged at Haley's lips. Out of all her siblings, Haley was the closest to Vivian and Quinn. Growing up, she always turned to them when she was having boy troubles, fights with friends, or just in need of general life advice. They were her closest confidants.

"Fine," Haley gave in.

Quinn clapped her hands together and resituated herself on the couch by tucking her legs under her. "What's his name? How did you meet? What's he like? Does he play any sports? Oh, I bet does. I'm betting football. What does he look like? Do you have a picture of him?"

Haley laughed loudly at Quinn's rapid fire. "Woah, slow down!"

Quinn scrunched her nose. "I'm sorry. You know how excited I get about these kinds of things."

"His name is Nathan," Haley finally revealed after a couple seconds. Her cheeks instinctively lifted in a smile and were dusted a light pink. "We've been together a few months now."

"Does he treat you right?" Quinn asked seriously.

Haley quickly nodded. "He's actually never had a girlfriend before, which if you saw him, you'd never believe it. He's unlike any guy I've ever met. He's so mysterious, but so kind and good hearted."

Quinn gave her a knowing look, her eyes shining brightly. "You really like him, don't you?"

Haley bit her lip and sheepishly nodded. Her admiration for Nathan shined effortlessly and her heart felt too big for her chest. "I don't know how to explain it, but whenever I'm with him…nothing else seems to matter. And even when I'm not with him, he's all I think about. Whenever he touches me or kisses me, I feel like I'm floating. He makes me feel so alive."

"Wow. You're in deep," Quinn gasped. Her eye then shifted to the charm bracelet on her wrist. "Did he give that to you?"

Haley's fingers immediately went to the charm bracelet. She hadn't taken it off since Nathan had given it to her. Many times, throughout the day she'd catch herself playing with it or zoning out on it. It was the best and most thoughtful gift anyone had ever given her.

"Yes. Nathan picked it out himself. Each charm symbolizes our relationship in some way."

Quinn swiped her fingertips under eyes, brushing away the fake tears. "Oh, Haley Bob, you're gonna make me cry."

Haley rolled her eyes and shoved Quinn playfully. "You asked and now, you're making fun of me!"

"I'm happy you're happy," Quinn commented once their laughter had died down.

"What are we talking about?" Vivian asked, walking into the living room with a cup of coffee in her hands. She had changed out of her purple scrubs and into a pair of sweats and a hoodie.

"Haley's boyfriend," Quinn quipped with a wink.

Vivian's mouth dropped open. "A boyfriend?! Oooh, I want all the details."

"Oh, not you, too," Haley whined. As much as she loved her sisters, they could get a little…annoying, to say the least.

Vivian carefully put her mug down on a coaster and the launched herself on the coach, sitting on the opposite side of Haley. "Look at that blush covering your cheeks! Our little sis is growing up," She chanted childishly, tickling Haley's side.

Haley squirmed and fought the urge to laugh. "S-stop it!"

"Haley's got a boyfriend!" Quinn sang, joining Vivian by tickling Haley's sides.

Laugh after laugh slipped past Haley's lips as they continued to tickle her. They continued to taunt and tease her about Nathan, they're words playful. Between gasps of air, she begged them to stop. Her ribs were starting to ache from laughing so hard and tears were starting to burn in her eyes. Being teased by her older sisters was nothing new for Haley and despite her protests, she secretly loved it.

"This brings me back," Lydia interrupted them. They all froze at the sound of her voice.

Her left hand was resting over her heart, her fingers drumming against her sweater softly. Her smile was soft and loving, the corners of her eyes crinkling. It was hard to see from where they were sitting, but the girls swore they saw tears shining in her eyes. Their suspicions were confirmed when she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Mom," Quinn murmured gently.

"I'm okay." Lydia waved her head dismissively and walked further into the living room. "Seeing you girls now reminded me of all those times I used to catch you in a similar position and then I'd have to yell at you for being so loud. You'd stop, but then as soon as I left the room you were back at it again. It's seems like it was only yesterday."

The three girls laughed at the recount of the memories.

An uneasy silence fell over them as Lydia claimed a seat on the couch opposite of them. She kept her head bowed in shame. Her fingers were picking anxiously at the hem of her green t-shirt.

"I never meant to hurt or scare you girls," Lydia said after a few moments. She was visibly shaking and her voice sounded strained.

"We don't have to do this," Vivian quickly cut in.

"Yeah," Haley agreed. Her stomach was hollow from her mom's pain and she wasn't sure she could handle another emotional relapse. "This is a time for healing, not reminiscing."

Lydia smiled appreciatively and raised her head, meeting their prodding gazes. "In order for me to heal, I need to do this."

When she was sure that she had her daughters complete and undivided attention, Lydia began her narrative.

"I never handled your father's death properly. I refused to let myself believe it, because I felt like I couldn't handle coming to terms with it," Lydia explained shakily. "Losing him was the worst and most painful thing that had ever happened to me."

Every beat of Haley's heart was painful. This was the first time Lydia had ever discussed Jimmy's death.

"I felt as if the only way I could survive was if I forced myself into alternate reality and unfortunately, alcohol is what gave me that alternate reality." A single tear trailed down Lydia's cheek and she quickly brushed it away. "It was wrong of me to turn to alcohol. I should have turned to my family. I regret that I didn't."

"Please don't," Vivian begged, her own tears coating her cheeks. The last time Haley seen Vivian cry that hard was at their father's funeral. "Please don't blame yourself."

Lydia grinned acutely. "There's no one to blame but myself, honey. I let myself get this far. And I know that you girls don't want to hear this, but my accident was my wake-up call. It helped me realize that I needed to change."

"We're here to help you, every step of the way," Quinn promised.

"I know. You girls have always been my backbone. Which is why I think it's about time that I gave you these." Lydia popped up from the couch and sauntered over to the Christmas tree. She bent down and grabbed three identically wrapped boxes. Walking back over to the them, she handed each of them a small box. "There's one for Taylor, too, whenever she decides to grace us with her presence."

Haley traced her fingers over the edges of the gold wrapped box. It was small, comfortably fitting in the palm of her hand. When Lydia urged them to open the box, Haley didn't waste a second. She tore the paper from the box and her eyes light up when she found a jewelry box underneath. Popping open the lid, she gasped when she saw what was insider.

It was a white-gold heart shaped locket. The heart was decorated in swirls and a single diamond was set in the center. Carefully, she removed it from the packaging and admired every glint and glitter of it.

"Wow, mom, this is beautiful," Haley breathed out.

"It's from your father."

Haley's head snapped up and her throat suddenly felt dry. "W-what?"

Lydia was smiling from ear to ear now. "Do you girls remember Snowflake?"

They nodded. Snowflake was their family dog, when they were growing up. She was a Pomeranian that the girls absolutely adored. They used to love playing "dress-up" with her and putting an abundance of bows in her hair. They absolutely loved her and Snowflake loved them right back. She took turns sleeping in each of the girl's beds and followed them around everywhere. It was hell when she passed.

"Your father bought you those lockets the Christmas after Snowflake passed, but he never got the chance to give them to you," Lydia explained. "You girls were so heartbroken and he would have done anything to heal your pain. So he bought those lockets and put a picture of Snowflake in each of them…but now—"

"There's a picture of dad inside," Vivian cried, staring teary-eyed at her open locket.

Haley pried open her locket and covered her mouth with her hand when, sure enough, a picture of her father was staring back at her. He was smiling that big smile that he always wore. A cigar was tucked in his ear and he was wearing his favorite green flannel. Haley wasn't aware she was crying until she tasted the salt on her lips.

"I never had the heart to give them to you, but I figured now was a good time," Lydia said with a shrug.

The three girls stood up from the couch and embraced Lydia in a tight and much needed hug. "We love you, mom."


	21. Chapter 21

This chapter is kind of lengthy...probably the longest I've written thus far. That's just because I had a lot to cover and I could have split it into two chapters, but then it would have fucked up my chapter timeline and I didn't want that to happen, lol. The next two chapters are two of the most important chapters out of the entire story. I'm really excited to get to them! I'm pretty proud of this chapter. The words seemed to flow so easily and I think this is the fastest I've ever written a chapter.

Also, this chapter gets pretty heated. I didn't plan for it to get as heated as it did, but my fingers apparently had a mind of their own. I'm sure y'all won't mind ;) I promise that Naley sleeping together for the first time is right around the corner. It's closer than you think, I promise. Enjoy!

* * *

"Please tell me you're going to be back in time for my party tonight."

"Yes, I will be back in time for your party, Brooke," Haley laughed. She plopped the last bag of luggage in the trunk of Vivian's car, before readjusting the phone to her ear. "We're actually on our way to the airport right now."

"Perfect." Brooke released a sigh of relief. "Is there any way that you swing by my place as soon as you land?"

Haley could perfectly picture Brooke's expression as she said that. Her cheeks would be lifted in a cute and innocent smile, her dimples staring her square in the face. She'd be batting her eyelashes swiftly, like a pair of butterfly wings.

"Why exactly?" Haley wondered, propping a hand on her waist. Hearing the front door of Vivian's house open, she looked over her shoulder to see Quinn descending the steps. In her hand was Lydia's old and ratty carry on bag.

Haley heard a bunch of rustling. It sounded like plastic wrapping, like she was opening a package of some kind. She then heard Brooke grumble something about how she shouldn't have bought so many decorations and that it was going to take _years_ before everything was done.

"Because I still have so much to do and so little time," Brooke whined, exhaling dramatically. "I am famous for my New Year's parties. People are counting on this party being a banger."

"I was actually planning on stopping by Nathan's after I got back," Haley explained. She grabbed her mom's bag from Quinn and placed it in the trunk next to her own.

Brooke whined and Haley knew she was pouting. "Please, Haley? I know you miss him and I'm not trying to take you away from him, I just need your help. Please? I'll never ask you for anything ever again."

"Brooke," Haley began to protest.

"Does the phrase 'hoes over bros' mean anything to you?" Brooke pouted further. "Please, Haley, I desperately need your help."

Brooke Davis wasn't the type of girl to ask for help. She could be over-bearing sometimes, begging Haley to wear an outfit that she didn't want to or dragging her to some party or social event she didn't want to be at. But when it came to planning her own parties or her own ideas, Brooke preferred to be in the driver's seat. Her independence was something she prided herself heavily on. She must really be desperate if she was resorting to asking for help.

"You _so_ owe me for this," Haley mumbled into the phone.

Brooke squealed excitedly and Haley swore she could hear her clapping her hands together. "Oh my God, thank you so much. You're the best, Tutor Girl! Have a safe flight and I'll see you when you get here. Bye!"

Haley laughed to herself as she hung up her phone, sliding it in the back pocket of her jeans. Now she just had to find a way to tell Nathan...

"What was that all about?" Quinn inquired, shutting the latch to Vivian's trunk. "Something about a party?"

Haley nodded. "Yeah, my friend Brooke is having a New Year's Eve party. She was just calling me to ask if I'd help her set up once I get back."

"Ahh, high school parties. I remember those days," Quinn sighed, looking off into the distance as if she was reminiscing every little detail.

"What was that, like, 10 years ago?" Haley taunted with a wink.

Quinn gasped, bumping her hip into Haley's. "Watch it, you!"

Their banter was interrupted by Lydia's loud laughter. They glanced back at the house to see Vivian and Lydia walking towards them, talking animatedly about something.

Haley smiled at the sight. This trip had really done wonders for Lydia. She was smiling a lot more and laughing a lot louder. She hadn't touched a single drop of alcohol since they arrived and hadn't asked to drink either, which was another bonus. Lydia was taking her recovery very seriously and Haley couldn't have been more delighted. In retrospect, she knew she should have never doubted her mom. Lydia James was a lot stronger than she gave herself credit for and even the mighty fall sometimes.

Being surrounded by family always made Haley feel better. Her family was an eccentric group, full of various types of personalities and senses of humor. They were so full of life and happiness, even in the midsts of drama and heartache. The size of her family made things interesting, as well. There were so many kids running around, all different ages. Haley swore that they sometimes needed two houses to fit everyone.

Holidays were never a dull occasion and it was a shame they couldn't get together more often.

"Mom's first treatment is coming up, right?" Quinn asked, interrupting Haley's thoughts.

"Yeah, this upcoming Monday," Haley confirmed.

"You better call us and let us know how it went, because Lord only knows that she'll forget."

"Don't worry, I'll keep you updated."

"I can't believe that we already have to say goodbye," Vivian murmured sadly as she approached Quinn and Haley. "It seems like I was just picking you up from the airport yesterday."

Haley rolled her eyes lightheartedly and waved her hand dismissively. "Come on, Viv, don't start all that sentimental crap."

Vivian dabbed underneath her eyes with a fake handkerchief, ridding her face of her make-believe tears. "I can't help it. It comes with the territory of being a mother of two small children who are growing like weeds."

"I seemed to have skipped that phase, thankfully," Lydia piped up, pursing her lips.

"Liar!" Quinn accused, point a daggered finger at Lydia. "You cried every time we grew an inch and always gave us the same lecture about how you were going to start force feeding us coffee to keep us small."

Lydia tossed her head back, a joyful and bouncy laugh erupting from her. "Okay, okay, you caught me."

The three girls laughed joyously.

"In all seriousness," Haley began once the laughter had died down. "I'm really going to miss you both. It was nice being transported back in time for a little while."

"I agree," Quinn said, wrapping one arm around Haley's shoulders and the other one around Vivian's. "This 'only seeing each other on important holidays' thing is just not cutting it anymore."

Vivian leaned her head against Quinn's, her lip jutting out in a small pout. "We'll have to plan to get together again...and soon."

"Sounds like a plan," Haley asserted. "Just as long as we decide on meeting up somewhere else. It's too cold here."

"James family vacation to the Bahama's sounds perfect to me," Lydia said with a wink.

~x~

 _I have job for you tonight. 1 am. My place._

Nathan clenched his phone tightly in his hand. His jaw was locked and his teeth were pressed together. The fingers on his free hand drummed nervously against the counter top. He'd been back in Damien's good graces for a while, but this was the first time Damien had given him a "job." That word could mean an abundance of things and every one of those possibilities made him anxious.

It also meant that Damien did truly trust him again. That was both a good thing and a bad thing. It brought him one step closer to bringing Damien down. Doing jobs for him again meant that Nathan would have access to his files and to his "business." However, it also gave him more opportunities to screw up and a bigger chance at causing an even a bigger problem if he got caught.

This was all becoming way too much, way too fast.

To make matters worse, his nightmares had returned. Only instead of dreaming of the mistakes he made in the past or the house fire, he was dreaming about Damien pressing that gun to his head. He swore he could still feel the cool metal pressing into his skin, the circular barrel leaving an indent. His dream cut off right when Damien's finger curled around the trigger. He'd jolt awake, drenched in a cold sweat and with a racing heart.

"You're looking a little red in the face," Lucas joked as he walked into the apartment. Jake was right behind him and he was carrying a case of beer.

Nathan half smiled, though the action didn't reach his eyes.

Jake swung the case of beer on to the counter. "I know that look, what's wrong?"

Instead of explaining with words, Nathan slide his phone across the counter. Lucas and Jake read over the text, frowns forming on their faces.

"A job? What kind of job?" Jake asked, handing Nathan his phone back.

Nathan shrugged his shoulders and licked his lips. "It could mean anything from making a delivery to…killing someone." His voice cracked over that last option.

"Killing someone?!" Lucas bellowed out. His eyes were wide and his fists were clenched, resting against the counter. "Damn it, Nathan. I knew this wasn't a good idea. You're either going to get your ass thrown in jail or get yourself killed."

Nathan closed his eyes and gave a quick shake of his head. "I doubt that Damien is going have me kill someone. He usually likes to do that himself. Sick bastard."

"I seriously do not understand why that fucker isn't in jail," Jake commented. "There's no way daddy's money can get him out of murder charges, too."

"You'd be surprised," Nathan mumbled bitterly.

He'd only met Damien's father once. He was a prestigious man, one that always wore a suit and an expensive watch, most likely a Rolex or a Diagono. He owned the best cars, but never drove them himself. He had a driver for that. People were terrified of him, too. He always wore such a grim look on his face. His eyes were always ice cold, no sign of life or remorse, kind of like Damien. Whenever he walked into a room, people parted like the Red Sea. It wasn't hard to figure out how Damien was let off the hook so many times.

"Are you sure there isn't something else you can do?" Lucas questioned seriously. "Can't you just go to the police with what you know and let them take it from there?"

Nathan shook his head. "I don't have enough. I'd be dead before I even walked through the door. The best option I have is getting all the proof that I possibly can and hoping that it's enough to arrest him right away."

"And what if it's not? What if it's all for nothing?" Lucas argued. He didn't mean to second guess his brother, but the high intensity of the situation was starting to get to him. He just wanted Nathan to be safe.

Jake sighed heavily as he squeezed Lucas' shoulder. "Look, the most important thing is that we stay positive. There's no point in jumping down each other's throats with 'what if's' when there isn't any reason. Okay?"

"You're right. Sorry," Lucas apologized, running a hand over his face. "Let's just talk about something else."

Nathan cleared his throat and sat up straighter in his seat. "Actually, there is something I wanted to talk to you guys about."

"What's up?" Jake pondered, hoisting the case of beer off the counter. Walking over to the fridge, he popped it open and slid the case in. "Remind me to take that when we go to Brooke's. She'll kill me if I forget it."

"Noted," Lucas mumbled. "What's on your mind, Nate?

Nathan took a deep breath. He expected to feel a surge of apprehension—the sweaty palms, the racing hard beat, the twisting stomach—but he felt nothing. He actually felt…kind of calm.

"Basketball," He stated simply.

Jake's eyes grew in size. "Basketball? Are you feeling okay? Did you hit your head on something?"

Lucas' face lit up. His earlier frustrations over Damien evaporated. "I've been waiting for you to bring up Haley's Christmas gift. You really gonna go for it?"

Jake looked between Lucas and Nathan, confusion marring his features. "Someone want to fill me in?"

Lucas smirked and leaned over the counter, clasping his hands together. "Haley came to my mom's house about a week and a half ago, asking us to help her get Nathan back on the basketball team. Keith made some calls and Coach decided to give Nathan another chance. Haley gave him his old jersey as a present."

Jake appeared stunned. He opened his mouth to say something, only to close it a moment later. It took a couple of more seconds of silence before he seemed to get his bearings. "Does this mean what I think it does?"

Nathan lifted his shoulders in a small shrug. "This feels so weird to say, but I'm actually considering it. I want to hear what you guys think, first."

"You should do it," Jake said with not even a second of hesitation. "The team needs you and I think deep down, you know that you need us, too."

Nathan chewed on the inside of his cheek as he mulled over Jake's words. He knew Jake was right. Basketball had always held a part of him that no one and nothing else could touch. There was a part of him that felt empty without it. In the past, he could never admit that to himself. The words would get lodged in his throat or hit a roadblock in his mind.

It was different, now. Everything was different.

"It's okay to still love it, Nate," Lucas said gently and Nathan's heart skipped a beat. Maybe _that_ was the real sign he was looking for. After all, that was exactly what he needed to hear.

"I…I know that," Nathan mumbled.

"Then what's stopping you?" Jake asked.

"I'm not sure," Nathan answered honestly. "I've gotten so used to hiding my love for the game, because it felt like the right thing to do. Now that I'm moving away from that, I'm scared."

"You know that no matter you decide, we'll support you, right?" Lucas reminded him. "We've always got your back."

Nathan smiled gingerly. "I know."

"Alright, we need to stop. This conversation is getting way too…girly for me," Jake quipped and faked gagged.

"Oh, shut the fuck up."

~x~

Haley took one last glance in the mirror, making sure that everything was just how she wanted it. She smoothed her hands over the light peach skirt she was wearing. It was considerably shorter than something she would normally wear, the hem stretching to just the middle of her thigh. However, it matched perfectly with the black halter top she was wearing and it wasn't too often that she found an outfit that she really liked. Her hair cascaded over shoulders in their natural waves and her make-up was light.

She actually felt really confident in how she looked, something that also didn't happen all that often.

The party was already in full swing, the music thrumming loudly and the alcohol flowing freely. It'd taken Haley, Brooke, and Peyton a good four to five hours to set up. Brooke had really over done it with the decorations, buying everything from streamers to noisemakers to center pieces. Haley wasn't sure that she'd ever seen so much glitter in her life. People seemed to really like the set up though, sending compliments Brooke's way at any chance they got.

Brooke wasn't lying when she said she was famous for her New Year's Eve party. People were practically lined up down the block starting at seven and the party didn't even start until nine! It was a miracle that Brooke's neighbors hadn't called the cops on her, especially when her attendees were rudely blocking their driveways with their cars and their bodies.

Haley's phone abruptly dinged, tossing her out of her thoughts. She smiled when she saw it was a text from Nathan.

 _I'm on my way. I can't wait to see you._

Her heart fluttered as a kaleidoscope of butterflies took flight in her stomach. Words could not accurately describe how much she missed him. She couldn't wait to kis—

"I'm just saying, no one should ever wear that color purple," Brooke complained, her heels clacking against the hard wood as she walked into her bedroom. The red cocktail dress was wearing shimmered in the light like a million diamonds and contrasted perfectly with her tan skin.

"I thought it was kind of pretty," Peyton commented, plopping herself down on Brooke's king-sized bed. In typical Peyton-fashion, she opted out of wearing a dress. Instead, she had on a pair of dark washed jeans and a ribbed tank-top covered in silver sequins.

Brooke hovered over her vanity and quickly reapplied her lip gloss. "Yeah, you would, because it closely resembled the color black. I heard witches tend to be really obsessed with the color of their souls."

Peyton laughed and Haley rolled her eyes. Their banter never seized to amaze her.

"I am so not ready to go back to school," Brooke groaned, throwing all of her make-up back in its respective bag. "I only have two weeks to find a new cheerleader and the thought of sitting through auditions is nauseating."

"I'm sure it's not that bad," Haley said, joining Peyton on the bed.

"Oh, no, it's terrible," Peyton said with a laugh. "I swear some girls only try out _just_ to make fun of us."

"Still haven't changed your mind, Tutor Girl?" Brooke asked, a hopeful gleam in her eye.

Haley bit her bottom lip as she shook her head. "I'm telling you, I wouldn't be any good at it. I'm a natural born klutz. I can't really dance and I have zero cheerleading experience."

"We'd teach you all that you need to know," Brooke tried to persuade. "Come on, Haley, live a little! At least give it a try, and if you don't like it, you can quit."

Haley sighed heavily, crossing her arms over her chest. "Why do you want me to be one so bad anyway?"

"Because it would make our lives so much easier," Peyton answered for Brooke.

"If I say that I'll think about it, will you leave me alone?"

"Yes."

"Then, fine, I'll think about it."

"Perfect. You excited to see Nathan tonight?" Brooke pondered, shifting the tone of the conversation.

"God, yes," Haley rushed out. "I feel like I haven't seen him in years."

"Hasn't it only been a week?" Peyton asked incredulously, arching an eyebrow.

"Yes," Haley whispered sheepishly. A light blush painted Haley's cheeks. She really was turning into one of those pathetic girls who were overly obsessed with their boyfriend.

"Oh, P. Sawyer, don't be bitter. You'll find love someday," Brooke tormented, throwing a wink at Peyton.

"Well, what about you, Brooke? Are you finally going to plant one on Jake at midnight?" Peyton taunted back, smiling in satisfaction when Brooke narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, I was wondering the same thing," Haley chimed in.

"I just might," Brooke declared triumphantly.

"It's about damn time!" Peyton declared, clapping her hands together. "Because I gotta say, that little cat-and-mouse game you guys have been playing was starting to get sickening."

"Oh, really, Mrs. Lucas Scott?" Brooke shot back.

Peyton didn't even flinch. "You're gonna have to try harder than that if you want to get a rise out of me."

Brooke chose to ignore her, peeking at her phone instead. "Speaking of the boys, they're here!"

Haley's heart was hammering with excitement as she descended the stairs. Her eyes frantically searched the crowd of people for any sign of Nathan. Like a moth drawn to a flame, she sought him out in record time and a wide smile broke out across her face. He was standing by the doorway, his back to her. He must have just walked through the door, because he still had on his leather jacket.

Sneaking up behind him, she stood on the tips of her heels and covered his eyes with her hands. "Guess who?" She whispered into his ear.

Nathan reached up to grab her hands, a slight smirk ghosting on his face. "Beth? Sarah? Lacey? One of my other girlfriends?"

Haley dropped her hands and narrowed her eyes. "That's not funny."

Nathan laughed as he turned around to face her. He didn't waste a second more and pulled her into his arms. He buried his face in her hair, inhaling deeply. It felt so good to hold her again. The peace he so desperately craved, but only felt around her, returned. "God, I missed you so much. Don't ever leave me again."

Haley wrapped her arms around his neck and giggled. "I won't, I promise."

Nathan pulled away from the hug, only to cup her face in the palm of his hands. Leaning forward, he seized her lips in a searing kiss, quickly opening his mouth over hers to swallow her moans. Her fingers gripped the ends of his jacket and pulled him closer. It felt so satisfying to kiss her again.

When air became an issue, Haley reluctantly pulled away. Her head was spinning from the intensity and her knees felt a little wobble-y. Kissing Nathan always had that effect on her, but it was even worse now—something about an addict having that first taste after a long dry spell.

Nathan banded his arms around her waist and held her close. He let his eyes trail over face and down her body. She was absolutely glowing. Her brown eyes shining back at him, her hair framing her face perfectly…she was hell on the heart. "You look beautiful, Haley."

"Thank you," She replied quietly, blushing like she always did. "I'm sorry I couldn't come over after I landed. Brooke was like a chicken with her head cut off over this party and I really didn't want to leave her hanging."

Nathan shook his head. "It's okay, really."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," Nathan declared honestly. "How are things with your family?"

A loud cheer from the crowd made them both jump. Shaking her head and mouthing "not here", she laced their fingers together and pulled him towards the kitchen. Trying to have a conversation in the middle of a party was basically like trying to have a conversation in the middle of a concert.

Once they were in the kitchen, where it was significantly less crowded, Haley plopped down on one of the decorative stools, Nathan moving to stand between her slightly parted legs. "It was really nice and actually really relaxing. I think it was a good healing experience for my mom. She really opened up to us kids and I think it helped us all understand a little bit better about what she's going through."

Nathan smiled, brushing his fingertips along the curve of her cheek. She did seem a little…lighter. The worry lines and bags under her eyes were like faded shadows on her porcelain skin. "Good, I'm glad. You know I'm still here if you need anything, right?"

"I know. Thank you," Haley hummed. "What about you? Did anything exciting happen while I was gone?"

"Actually, yes," Nathan said, taking in a big gulp of air. "I, uh, went and saw my parents."

Haley's eyes widened and she reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing them gently. "How'd that go?"

He licked his lips insecurely. "Good…surprisingly. It was one of that hardest things I've ever had to do. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest at some points, but after I left, I felt really good. Kind of like I was liberated for something that was holding me back."

Haley caressed his cheek, her eyes shining with admiration. "I'm so proud of you, Nathan."

A warmth laced through his veins. That wasn't a phrase that he'd heard very often and coming from her, it meant everything.

"Haley! Come here! I want you to try something," Brooke shouted from deeper in the kitchen, interrupting them.

She glanced over at Nathan apologetically. First, she bailed on him because Brooke needed help decorating and now, she was being dragged away from him again. Surprisingly, he didn't seem the slightest bit annoyed.

"Go ahead. I'm gonna go find somewhere for us to sit."

"Okay," She pouted, kissing him quick. "I'll come find you in a few."

~x~

There were so many people in Brooke's basement, even more than the first party Haley had attended of hers. She tried her hardest to squeeze passed people without bumping into them rudely, and she only failed a couple of times. It was dimly lit, the only source of light coming from a couple strands of blinking white Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling.

Nathan said that he was going to find a seat somewhere, but she hadn't a clue where to begin looking. Curse Brooke for having such a big house. Maneuvering her way through another crowd of people, started to walk towards the bar. Maybe if she stood on one of the stools she'd be able to see better. However, she didn't make it much farther.

She let out a sharp squeal when two hands gripped her waist and pulled her down. Her back collided with something hard and two arms reached to wrap securely around her midsection. She immediately relaxed when Nathan's cologne surrounded her and burrowed herself further into his chest.

"Hey, baby," Nathan purred over the loud music, pressing his lips softly to the side of her throat. A smirk appeared on his face when she visible shivered.

Haley tilted her head back to rest on his shoulder. Her heart beat was finally starting to return to normal. "You scared me."

He laughed huskily, a sound that made goosebumps prickle on Haley's skin. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

Haley twisted in his arms so that she was sitting sideways in his lap. She curled her arms around his neck and shook her head at the playful glint in his eyes. "No, you're not."

Nathan settled his hands on her waist. His thumb dipped beneath the hem of her black halter top, rubbing small circles into her skin. "You're right, I'm not," He said, the corners of his mouth raising into a more prominent smirk.

Haley rolled her eyes, but smiled back at him. She then let her eyes roam over his face for a moment. His hair was a little disheveled, probably from his nervous habit of running his fingers through it. He looked exhausted, his eyes drooping low. Moving her gaze southward, she couldn't help but appreciate the way the navy-blue sweater he was wearing hugged his body. He really did have muscles in all the right places. She couldn't exactly tell, but she was pretty positive his dark wash jeans were resting low on his hips. Damn, her boyfriend was sexy.

Raising her eyes to meet hers, a deep blush dusted her cheeks when she realized she'd been caught. Nathan's eyes were dancing with amusement and a single eyebrow was arched.

"Like what you see?" Nathan teased lowly. His hand slipped farther beneath her shirt and rested against the small of her back.

Haley trembled at the contact and buried her head in the crook of his neck. Her cheeks were flaming hot—a mixture of embarrassment, the heat in the basement, and the alcohol coursing through her veins. "Always," She mumbled, causing Nathan to chuckle.

Time slipped by as they just laid in each other's embrace. There were hundreds of people around them, dancing to the beat of the thrumming music. They were laughing and singing loudly. Haley could vaguely feel a few girls shooting daggers at her, but she didn't care. It was like all of those people were miles away and the only person she could focus on was Nathan. Being able to touch him again after a week was liberating.

To most people, a week wasn't long, but to Haley it was an eternity.

"Are you having a good time?" Haley asked, breaking the silence. She knew that parties weren't Nathan's favorite thing in the world and she wanted to make sure he was okay.

Nathan squeezed her against his chest. "I am, now."

Haley giggled and leaned forward to press a loving kiss to his cheek. "Charmer."

Nathan chuckled as he tucked a piece of wayward hair behind her hair. "How about you? Are you having a good time?" It didn't escape him that Haley seemed more mellow than she usually was at parties. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were slightly glassy, as well.

Haley nodded, causing Nathan's chin to brush the top of her head. "Yeah, especially since Brooke had me try this mixed drink she made. It was so good."

Nathan tensed beneath her. Haley wasn't much of a drinker and it worried him that she drank tonight. He knew she could handle herself and it wasn't about not trusting her. He was more worried about her turning to alcohol to numb the pain the last few weeks had caused her. He knew, first hand, how easy it was to be sucked into that kind of mayhem.

Haley sensed his change in mood almost instantly. Sitting up, with her eyebrows furrowed, she cupped his cheek. "Baby, what is it?"

Nathan covered her hand with his own and gently squeezed it. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth as he tried to come up with a way to express his thoughts in a way that wouldn't offend her.

"Nathan?" Haley prodded him. His silence was starting to make her nervous.

Sighing, he squeezed her hand once more and brushed his lips against the inside of her wrist. "I know this sounds silly, but I'm just worried about you. These last few weeks have been tough on you and then you said you were drinking. I feared that—"

"That I would turn out like my mother and drink away my pain?" She said lightheartedly. It felt oddly satisfying to joke about something like that now.

Nathan shook his head vigorously. "No, it's not that. I just didn't want you to feel like you had to shut everyone out. I…I know how easy that option might seem and I'm sorry."

Haley's heart fluttered at the sentiment and at the concern in his tone. She smiled at him and rubbed her thumb along his cheekbone. "I appreciate it and I see where you're coming from. But I only had a half of a glass and it was just because Brooke begged me to try it."

"You only had half of a glass and you're already buzzed?" Nathan laughed, shaking his head.

"I'm a lightweight," Haley giggled. A weight slid off her shoulders when the color of his eyes shifted from concern to playful again.

"Clearly."

Curling against his chest again, Haley placed the softest of kisses to the base of his throat. One of her hands slid up his shoulder and into the thick strands of his hair. She kissed her way up to his ear, mumbling into his skin. "You know, you're pretty sexy when you get all worried like that."

Nathan's grip on her hips tauten. A shudder ran through him at her ministrations. Haley was the more reserved one out of the two of them, so any time she decided to take initiative, it quickly started a war of desire inside of him. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah," Haley purred into his ear. Her hand dropped from his hair and trailed down his chest. Her tiny fingers began to rub small circles across the hard planes of his chest, while her lips continued to work on his neck. She's not sure where the sudden bravery and _need_ appeared from, but she wasn't going to question it. Nathan's sharp intakes of breath were only spurring her on further.

"Haley," Nathan groaned softly. He didn't care that they were in a crowded room and that everyone could see them, but he knew that completely sober Haley would die of embarrassment. He jumped when he tiny hand made contact with his belt buckle and she wasn't stopping there. His blood felt like liquid fire, but he knew he had to stop her before she took things too far.

Gently, he grabbed her hand. "Hales, babe, you gotta stop."

Haley backed away just enough so she could see his face. It suddenly felt like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water on her. Her surroundings became crystal clear and a deep blush burned on her cheeks. She couldn't believe that she let herself get so…brazen.

"I…oh my god, I'm sorry. Did…did you not want me to?" She stuttered, completely embarrassed. She preferred to stay ignorant about Nathan's past. The less she knew, the less she had to compare herself to. But that didn't stop the thoughts of doubt to creep up in her mind every once in a while—like maybe the reason Nathan stopped her was because he was thinking about another time a girl touched him like that and that she did it better. It was ridiculous, but her thoughts had a mind of their own, literally.

"Of course, I did," Nathan quickly recovered. He could see the insecurities written all over her face and was silently cursing himself for provoking those.

"Then, why did you want me to stop?" Haley mumbled shyly.

Nathan motioned towards all the people at the party with his hand, palm facing outward. "I didn't think you wanted to give everyone a free show."

Haley's cheeks flamed further. "Maybe we should get out of here."

"Good idea."

~x~

Hand-in-hand, they walked up the stairs to where all the guest rooms were.

"Are you sure Brooke doesn't mind us being up here?" Nathan asked with a smirk on his face. It amused him to see how eager Haley was to get him alone.

"I'm positive," Haley replied a little shakily. It was so out of character for her to be sneaking off at party to go…make out with her boyfriend. Maybe it was the fact that they'd seen each other in a while. Or maybe it was because he just looked so damn good. Or maybe it was the buzz. Whatever it was, she was basking it in.

"In here."

As soon as the door to the guest room was shut and locked, Nathan pulled Haley in his arms. His lips were on hers with a fierce intensity. The slightest hint of alcohol was mixed in with Haley's unique taste. She matched his pace, her lips demanding over his. The way they were kissing…it was like neither one of them could get enough.

"Not being able to kiss or touch you for a week was complete torture," Nathan mumbled into her mouth, before kissing a trail of fire on her jaw and down her neck. "And then the way you were touching me down stairs? Fuck, that felt amazing."

Haley fell limp against him. She was clutching on to fistfuls of his shirt, a lame attempt at trying to keep herself upright. Every time she kissed him, she swore could just die. Was that normal? Was it normal to feel such a need and want for someone that it physically felt like you were on fire? Would it always be like that? God, she hoped so.

"Nathan," She whimpered when he nipped at the base of her throat. His hands were buried in her hair, gently yanking her head back.

"You're so damn sexy," Nathan murmured hoarsely. He could never get enough of her. The taste of her skin, the smell of her hair…she was so damn addicting. He was so completely entranced by her and there wasn't anything he could do about it. He expected to feel the urge to run, but it wasn't there.

He kissed his way back up to her lips and swallowed down her breathless moans. It wasn't until the sting of alcohol on her tongue shook him back to reality. It was much stronger than the first taste and a cold sweat broke out on his skin. _Don't you dare take advantage of her._ In response, he gently slowed down their kisses. Cupping her face in his hands, he pressed a chaste kiss to her lips, before pulling away slightly.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, pressing his forehead against hers. Her eyes were still closed and her kiss-swollen lips were parted.

"I'm perfect," Haley said softly. Her lips curled into a soft smile.

"I…I don't want to take advantage of you," Nathan admitted quietly.

Haley's eyes popped open at that. Her forehead was creased in concern. "You're not. Nathan, I had a few sips of one drink. I'm coherent enough to know that I want to make out with my boyfriend."

Nathan chuckled as he backed away from her, settling himself on the edge of the bed. "I know, I'm just making sure."

Haley shook her head as she walked over to him and stood in-between his legs. She then wrapped her arms around his neck, scraping her finger nails along the nape. "You worry too darn much."

Nathan smiled sheepishly, resting his hands on the back of her thighs. "So, I've been told."

She pressed her lips to his in a gentle and quick kiss. His body was tense against hers and his eyebrows were furrowed in concern. Nathan wore that expression often and it pulled on her heart strings every time. Softly, she brushed her fingers over the wrinkles on his forehead, hoping to smooth them out.

"I think I know something that'll take your mind off things," Haley cooed quietly.

"Yeah?"

Haley nodded. The thought had popped into her head a couple of moments ago and now it was all she could think about. She'd been wondering how she was going to tell Nathan about what her and Brooke talked about earlier, and this seemed like the perfect way to do it.

"What would you think about me becoming a Ravens cheerleader?"

Nathan's eyebrows shot up and smirk curled on his lips. "A cheerleader?"

A shiver sliced down Haley's spine when she watched Nathan's eyes darken. Gaining a little bit of confidence, she surprised Nathan by placing her knees on either side of his hips, straddling him. His hands fell to her hips to steady her, his eyes wide with shock and arousal. She was on a roll today with surprising him.

"Yeah, you know, a cheerleader," She murmured, grabbing his hands. She moved them up to her sides, brushing over the side of breasts.

"The one that wear those tight tops."

Slowly, she inched his hands down to the edge of her skirt. Then, she pushed them under her skirt and rested them on the inside of her bare thighs. Goosebumps rose on her skin when his calloused fingers nipped at her smooth skin.

"The short skirts."

Nathan swallowed hard. His breathing was erratic. Her husky voice, sultry narration, and domination were quickly making him hot. He always knew his girlfriend was sexy, but _damn_. "I don't think you have any idea what you're doing to me right now."

Haley glanced down, her eyes sparkling with mischief and a smirk on her face. "Oh, I think I do."

Nathan laughed coarsely. "What's the catch to you narrating this cheerleading thing that is quickly becoming fantasy of mine?"

A low swirl of desire pool in the pit of her stomach. His eyes were raking over her appreciatively, causing her insides to melt. Haley leaned forward and clasped her hands around the back of his neck. "You join the basketball team and I'll join the cheerleading squad."

Nathan was stunned. His mouth was drier than the Sahara and there wasn't a clear thought in his head. All he could picture was Haley in a cheerleading uniform, cheering him on from the sidelines. He pictured her in the tight top and short skirt that she described a few moments ago and his brain short circuited.

Haley felt a surge of pride at leaving him speechless. It also fueled her with a grave confidence. Pressing her lips to the shell of his ear, she purred into it. "And just think, I'll paint your jersey number somewhere on my body, for everyone to see. Like my arm or my cheek. Or maybe I'll put it somewhere that only you're allowed to see."

He snapped. The little self-control he had evaporated at record speed. Grabbing her hips, he yanked her down onto the bed and cloaked her body with his, his lips moving passionately over hers. One hand buried itself in her hair, while the other roamed the length of her body.

Haley's yelp of surprise quickly morphed into a breathy moan. Her hands scrabbled for purchase down his back, her nails clawing at his sweater. They'd made out hundreds of times, but it never started off this intense or this…desperate.

"You taste so good. It drives me crazy," Nathan mumbled, dragging his lips across the curve of her jaw and down the column of her neck.

Her hands were in his hair. She was breathing heavily and a thin layer of perspiration was slicked on her skin. A sharp gasp tore from her throat when Nathan grabbed her leg and hooked it over his hip, pressing her harder into the plush mattress.

The soft grind of his hips against hers and his roaming hands made her feel like she was about to combust. He seemed to find the most sensitive spots on her skin and knew just how to manipulate them to drive her crazy. One moment his hands were massaging her breasts through her shirt and the next they were teasing her inner thighs. If she felt this good just from this, she knew she might actually die when they made love.

Nathan's heart lurched in his chest when his fingers brushed against the bow on her halter top. Her skirt was already bunched around her waist and it would have been so easy to just yank it loose. Her whimpers and moans weren't doing much to quell that urge. If he didn't stop them soon, he feared what would happen. She deserved more than this.

But it was hard to think clearly with her smooth thighs pressing around his waist. Her skin tasted phenomenal and he craved more of it. She was touching him in all the right places—her nails digging into the cords of his stomach and dipping below the belt loops on his pants.

"I want you so much," Haley panted. She increased the speed and pressure of her hips, earning a low groan from Nathan.

"You know how much I want you," Nathan declared, thrusting his hips against hers to drive his point home.

"Oh, God, Nathan, please," She begged, tossing her head back and arching her back of the bed. Nothing in her life had ever felt this good and she didn't want to stop. The apprehension was still there, but it was the good kind. It wasn't fear…it was anticipation. "I need you."

Nathan felt himself grow impossibly hard. Her lust laden voice and gaze were quickly sending him over the edge. The only layers that remained between them were Haley's panties and his jeans and boxers. It would have been so easy to strip down and to sink into her. To give her what she wanted…hell, what they both wanted.

But they couldn't. Not like this.

He forced himself back down to Earth. Taking in a few deep breaths, he attempted to control his raging libido. It was a few minutes before he felt stable enough to slow things down.

He gripped her hips to still them. His heart was racing in his chest and his body was still screaming at him to continue. Stopping what they were doing was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do, but he prided himself on being able to put Haley's needs before his own.

"Our first time isn't going to be in Brooke's guest room, with hundreds of people right outside that door," Nathan said through heavy pants of air.

Haley whimpered, her hands squeezing his shoulders. The cloud of lust that had invaded her every sense faded away, only to be replaced by a sea of warmth. The tender way Nathan was looking at her had butterflies flapping wildly in her stomach.

"I don't need candle light or roses, Nathan," She breathed out, palming his cheek. "I just need you."

He leaned into her touch. He smiled that smile, the one that was only reserved for her. "You deserve more than just some hook-up at a party."

"I would never see it that way," Haley countered.

Nathan exhaled deeply. "I know, and it's not because I don't want you…believe me, I do. So much. But you mean a lot to me, and I want to do things properly."

"You're way too sweet to me," Haley marveled, dropping her hand from his cheek. His attempt to cool things down by being sweet only made her want him even more. Sexy and sweet was a dangerous combination. "But does that mean we can't do other…things?"

Nathan cocked an eyebrow. "What did you have in mind?"

Haley smirked in a way that she hoped was seductive. Her hands were shaking terribly as they slowly traced down his chest. The fabric of his sweater was soft against her fingertips. All she could think about was how badly she wanted to make him feel good.

Nathan was watching her with curious eyes and she bit her lip in response. When her fingers came in contact with his belt buckle, her stomach lurched. Taking one last calming breath, she scooted her hand lower and cupped him through his jeans.

He inhaled sharply and dropped his forehead to her shoulders. His body suddenly felt like a livewire, sparks shooting through his veins. "H-ales, what're you doing?"

She remained silent as she slowly moved her hand over him. He was so hard beneath her palm, the coarse fabric of his jeans barely muting the feel of him. He was panting loudly in her hair, an occasional moan slipping past his lips. He was gripping the pillow beside her head, the veins in his arm protruding.

She wasn't touching bare skin, yet him felt like he was seconds away from exploding. He almost swallowed his tongue when he felt her hand on the buckle of his belt. The sound of the metal clanking together as she undid his belt was loud in his ears. He stopped breathing when she threaded his belt out of the loops and popped the buttons on his jeans.

"Shiiiit," He hissed when she encased him in her tiny hand, slowly working him over. Forcing his head up, he rested his forehead against hers and pried his eyes open. Haley was biting her lip, a sure sign that she was nervous.

"Don't s-stop," Nathan begged, letting her know that what she was doing was perfect. His lips parted above hers, their hot breath mingling together.

Haley squirmed beneath him, not daring to take her eyes off of him. She didn't have a clue what she was doing. Sure, she heard stories from her sisters and some of her friends, but she'd never done something like this before. She was surprised at how warm he felt, like silk wrapped over steel.

Judging by the expression on Nathan's face and the look in his eyes…she was doing something right. It was so damn empowering.

"Faster," He pleaded. "D-do it, faster."

When she complied, Nathan hissed another expletive. There was something so erotic and sexy about seeing him like this. His head was tilted back, the muscles in his neck straining deliciously. His eyes were scrunched and his mouth was hanging open. He was breathing heavily, his chest heaving.

"That feels so fucking good," He grounded out. He could feel the end encroaching quickly and he couldn't stop the rock of his hips even if he tried. "Shit, Hales, baby, I'm gonna come."

A few more twists of her hand and he fell over the edge. His body gave out as he moaned her name. He collapsed beside Haley so he wouldn't crush her. Glancing over at her, he watched as she reached over to grab a Kleenex, cleaning her hand off. He'd be lying if he said that was the first time he'd ever been touched like that. However, he'd never felt so completely sated before.

"Happy New Year, Nathan," Haley said innocently, curling into his side.

"If only every new year started like that," Nathan joked, his breathing finally returning back to normal. He curled an arm around her waist and held her close to his chest.

"Play your cards right, and you just might," Haley teased back. She smiled when he laughed. "Was…was that okay?"

Nathan frowned at the uneasiness in her voice. He brushed his thumb under her chin, tilting her head up to face him. "It was amazing," He promised.

"Good enough for you to decide to try basketball again?" She asked with a scrunch of her nose.

Nathan chuckled a little, before growing serious. "I think I'm gonna give it a try." It surprised him how easily he was able to say those words. He didn't stutter and he didn't have to force himself to say them either.

Haley perked up. "Really?"

"Yeah," Nathan confirmed. "But it's not because of what we just did, although, that was quite convincing."

Haley just rolled her eyes.

"I've been thinking about it a lot," Nathan continued. "I feel like I owe it to myself and to my dad to give it a try again. No regrets, right?"

"Right." Haley agreed with a smile. She couldn't accurately describe how happy it made her to hear that Nathan was going to play again. "Looks like I'm gonna be a cheerleader, now."

"You don't really have to do that if you don't want to."

"A deal is a deal."

~x~

Nathan awoke to his phone buzzing continuously in his pocket. He ignored it the first time. And the second. The third time it started to buzz, Nathan groaned. Groggily, he fished around in his pocket. Once he found it, he pulled it out of his pocket and squinted against the bright light.

 _We're out back._

 _You better not have told anyone about this._

 _Twenty minutes, Nate._

"Shit!" Nathan shouted, causing Haley to stir. He only had fifteen minutes to make it Nathan's before he screwed. Without even thinking, jumped up from the bed, jolting Haley awake.

"Nathan?" She asked, clearly dazed. "What's wrong?"

"I have to go," He rushed out. As he was buttoning up his pants, he anxiously searched for his belt. When he finally found it, his hands were shaking as he tried to secure it back around his waist.

Haley furrowed her eyebrows, running a hand through her unruly hair. "Now? It's late. Come back to bed."

"No," He barked unintentionally. He cringed when caught a glimpse of the shocked expression on Haley's face. Her eyes were wide and she coiled back like he'd just slapped her. He swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, baby, I just…I have to go."

"Where?" She repeated. She was more awake and there was a clip of annoyance in her tone.

"Just go back to bed, Haley," Nathan murmured as evenly as he could, his eyes doing another sweep of the room. Where the fuck did he put his shoes?

"Not until you tell me where you're rushing off to," Haley insisted, crossing her arms over her chest.

Another minute ticked by and Nathan still couldn't find his shoes. He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket again. And then again. Looking at the time, he panicked when he saw he was down to ten minutes. As if God was finally on his side, he spotted his shoes.

"Are you going to answer me?" Haley asked, her annoyance warring attitude.

"It's not any of your business. Lay off," Nathan snapped, heading out the door. He refused to look back. He knew the look on her face would surely kill him.

"Natha—"

He heard her calling after him as he practically ran out of the guest room. It took an immense amount of strength to not turn back around and crawl back into bed with her. The feeling of guilt was pulling at the pit of his stomach. He didn't mean to snap at her and he hated that he let himself lose his patience with her. It wasn't her fault that he fell asleep. It wasn't her fault that he was in such a shitty situation.

He tried his hardest to force those thoughts out of his head as he drove. He couldn't let his guilt distract him from whatever Damien wanted him to do.

Nathan was sure he'd broken every traffic law known to man and still managed to be five minutes late. A block of fear weighed heavily in the core of his stomach as he jogged towards the pool house. He could clearly picture Damien holding that gun again and he prayed to God that, that wasn't his fate. He'd never known Damien to fly off the handle at something as simple as being late, but Nathan's circumstances with him were anything but normal.

"You're late, Scott," Damien snipped as soon as Nathan barreled through the front door. He didn't look up from the clipboard he was holding. He seemed to be counting something in his head. A single pen was resting behind his ear and an un-lit cigar was dangling from his mouth. He was in business mode. He only got like that whenever he was preparing to send out a large shipment for delivery.

"I'm sorry, I—"

"I don't have time for excuses," Damien cut him off. "You're delivering a couple of grams of weed to a customer down on the south side. Tim is already waiting in the car out back. The guy's address and what he owes are sitting on my desk. You'll only got a half hour to make this run before you have to make another one. It wouldn't be wise to waste another second."

Nathan wasn't going to test that statement. Instead, he just rushed back to Damien's office. He was grateful for the fact that it was shipment week. Damien was always distracted during that time. He got off easy and small sliver of tension melted off his bones. He had to be better, because next time, he might not get that lucky.

His hands were still shaking as he picked up the piece of paper with the customer's information on it. It slipped through his fingers and floated under Damien's desk. He dove to the floor to grab it, but froze when something shinny caught his eye.

It was a lock box of some sort, stuffed in the very corner of his desk, surrounding by a bunch of cardboard boxes and filing cabinets. There was a label across the top of it, but it was hard to see. By some unexplainable force, Nathan was drawn to this lock box. Inching forward, he squinted his eyes to read the label.

 ** _Files- Eighty-Six._**

Nathan's breath hitched in his throat. "Eighty-Six" was Damien's code for all of the people or "customers" that wronged him and he had to punish. Nathan had heard rumors that Damien kept files on all the people he harmed, mostly for bragging rights and trophies. But he thought they were just that…rumors.

If that lock box really contained those rumored files, then that meant there had to be a file on him and his family in there. If there was, that could potentially be just the right amount of evidence that he needed to finally free himself of Damien. That, and his stupid logo.

He _had_ to find a way to get it open.


	22. Chapter 22

I've been really spoiling you guys with these quick updates, huh? I've had a lot of time and plus, I'm super excited to finally get to this part of the story. This chapter and the next are HUGE. Although, the next chapter is considerably bigger. But they go hand-in-hand. You're gonna love me at some points, and you're gonna hate me at other points. Just trust the process. Have I ever let you guys down before?

 **Important info..sort of:** I know some of you have expressed concern about Nathan's behavior towards Haley in the last chapter and I know that some of you aren't going to agree with what Nathan does in the coming chapters, either. I just want to remind you guys that he's in kind of a tough spot. He's terrified of Damien and he's fighting like hell for his freedom. That doesn't make what he's doing right, but in Nathan's eyes, he doesn't believe that he has any other choice. Haley is kind of tough spot, as well. She's aware that Nathan has his secrets and has a past that he's not proud of. She's not ignoring that. She's struggling herself with finding ways to get him to open up to her, without pushing him too far. Hopefully that helps to put some things in perspective for you guys! Thanks again for your support and enjoy!

P.S My knowledge on basketball is very...limited. I apologize for errors, I tried my best, haha. Also sorry for any errors.

* * *

"Hi."

Haley tensed at the sound his voice. Her grip on the metal edges of her locker tightened as she fought the urge to look at him. It'd been almost forty-eight hours since she'd last seen him and it was the longest forty-eight hours of her life.

She was so exponentially angry at him—so angry that she bitterly ignored every one of his phone calls and pleading texts. Anger towards Nathan was a foreign feeling for her, which was how she rationalized the twinge-y way she was acting. There had been miniscule moments of irritation and aggravation, but never anything more than that. A small part of her brain knew that she was being immature and irrational. Relationships were about communication and problems or tiffs didn't often get solved by the silent treatment.

Her confusion was another thing that was her holding back. Nathan never snapped at her like he did that night. When they first met, he was cold towards her and tried his hardest to keep her at arm's length. That occasionally translated into snippy comments and rude brush offs. But he never talked to her with a clipped edge, bordering on complete disdain and spineless consternation.

Even though the room was dark, moonlight barely seeping in through the crevices of the closed blinds, there was no mistaking the storm raging in his blue eyes. He was terrified of something, she just wasn't sure what that something was.

He _did_ bolt after they shared a hot night together, leaving her feeling like she was some cheap whore. That wasn't something she could just brush off with a bat of an eyelash. The insecurities that ate away at her—constantly reminding her that she might not be enough to measure up to the girls he'd been around the block with—wouldn't allow that.

Despite her better judgement, Haley peeled away from her locker to look at him. The stoic expression on her face relaxed without resistance when she saw how off balance he seemed. His hands were shoved in the pockets of his jeans, his shoulders hunched forward. His lips were curled up in an easy and apprehensive smile.

"I, uh, left you a few messages," Nathan mumbled lamely, rocking anxiously on the balls of his feet.

"I know," She replied quietly. "I was ignoring you."

He expected her to be angry. He even predicted that she wouldn't answer his calls or texts. Even that didn't stop him from flinching at the cold and guarded expression on her face. He wasn't naïve. He knew that there was nothing proper about the way he left her at Brooke's party and he was angry at himself for it.

Nathan might have called her to apologize countless times, but he still wasn't sure how to explain his behavior. There was the prospect of the truth, but he'd rather her be angry. She'd be safer that way.

"I deserve that," Nathan said pathetically, pulling his hand out of his pocket to rub the back of his neck. "Err, can we talk?

His eyes were pleading and cutting straight into her soul. Haley had two choices. She could've continued to be petty and turn away from him, leaving him to feel as defeated as she did when he left her. Or she could be mature and talk this out. She chose to be mature, mostly because the awkwardness dancing between them was starting to suffocate her.

They walked through the hall and out into the courtyard, finding an unoccupied table near the back entrance. Haley swung her back-pack on to the table and straddled the bench. Nathan mirrored her position, resting his elbow on the table.

"I'm sorry," Nathan blurted out. He kept his eyes trained on hers, watching every emotion flicker in the specks of brown. "I shouldn't have left you like that."

"Why did you?" Haley interrogated. With baited breath, she waited for deflection he was most likely going to give her.

Nathan sucked in a gulp of air, casting his gaze away from her open and trusting eyes. That was the part of his apology that he was unprepared for. He hated the fact that he wanted to tell her the truth, but the fear still had a chokehold on him. The words were lodged in the back of his throat, fighting to be set free. He swallowed them down and did something that fueled his self-hatred even more.

He lied. Sort of.

"I panicked," Nathan finally answered. When her face crossed in hurt and confusion, he quickly shook his head. "Not about us. Or about you. About…. basketball."

Haley's face softened, her shoulders losing their tense posture. There was a shakiness in his voice that made her uneasy and something pulled at her gut. "What about it?"

Nathan's knee bounced up and down as he strung his words together. They weren't necessarily lies, because he meant every one of them. They were taken out of context, however.

"When we were laying there, I let my mind wander. I started thinking about playing again and the implications of all of it," Nathan explained. His breathing had turned erratic. "It all crashing down on me at once and it felt like I couldn't breathe. I got scared and I just felt this need to run. I shouldn't have taken it out on you, Hales and I know that. I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that."

Haley listened to him talk with furrowed eyebrows. He was struggling to get the words out and she could physically see his chest constricting in pain. She believed what he was saying, but she couldn't help but feel like he was holding something back. He seemed to be only scratching the surface of what was really going on in that counterintuitive brain of his.

The anger she was drowning in moments before receded, replaced by the burning need to completely shattered that shell of his. It was already cracked in some places, she just needed to apply more pressure. She was walking a thin line with that thought, though. If she applied too more pressure, he would completely shut down and she'd be back where she started.

Scooting towards him on the bench, she placed her hand over his. He jumped slightly at the contact, glancing expectantly at their connected hands. She ran her fingers over his warm skin, down the back of his hand to the curve of his wrist.

"I don't want you to be sorry," Haley consoled, dipping her head to catch his stare. "I don't want you to run. I want you to let me in, whatever it is."

Nathan swallowed hard. The words of truth were crawling up his throat again. His insides were shaking with fear, collectively closing down to cage himself in. On the outside, he was calm. On the inside, he was actively trying not to combust at the seams.

"I want you to talk to me when things like that happen." She emphasized her point with a squeeze of his hand. "I'm here for you, Nathan, always."

The only thought he could focus on was that he didn't deserve her. The patience and faith that she executed towards him was astounding. Anyone else would have thrown the towel in a long time ago. He worried that maybe he was taking advantage of her grace and of her kindness. He couldn't fathom the thought of breaking those qualities she possessed be being too avaricious with them.

"I'm sorry," Nathan repeated. He moved the hand that she was caressing and tucked her hand underneath it, lacing their fingers together.

She smiled softly at him and closed the distance between them. Pressing a soft kiss to his lips, she used her free hand to palm his cheek. "Just promise me that next time, you'll talk to me."

"I promise."

There was more, she was sure of it. But at least she got him to talk about _something_ that he was feeling. That was a victory in and of itself.

"Good," Haley said anxiously, chewing on the inside of her cheek. There was still something gnawing at her, though. Something so silly, but it wouldn't leave her alone.

Nathan's forehead creased in confusion. "What's wrong?"

Haley took in a shaky breath. "It's nothing. I'm just being silly."

"I'm sure that it's not," Nathan assured her.

"I thought that maybe you left...because you regretted what we did together or that you weren't happy with it. I know that's a silly thought and I feel stupid even saying it out loud, but I can't help it," Haley rambled anxiously, her gaze fixated on the concrete.

Nathan inwardly cursed. He really was an asshole. "God, baby, no, that wasn't it all. I'm sorry that I made you feel that way."

Haley shook her head. "I know, I know. I was just being stupid."

Nathan cupped her face in his hands and brushed his thumbs along the curves of her cheeks. "You were not being stupid. I was the one being stupid. Listen to me, everything that we do together is perfect to me, okay? I could never regret anything, not when it comes to you."

Haley sighed contently. "You really are a charmer, you know that?"

He just chuckled.

"Am I forgiven?" Nathan hesitantly asked a few seconds later, his body tensing up slightly as he waited for her answer.

Haley exhaled deeply as she nodded her head. "But this is your strike one. You get two more and you're out, my friend."

Nathan chuckled, internally breathing out a sigh of relief. The guilt was already chewing away at him, but that wasn't anything he wasn't used to. His stomach was coiled in a tight knot and he just prayed to God that he'd find some solace soon.

"Practice start's today, doesn't it?"

The knot in Nathan's stomach grew larger. Being back on the team didn't quite feel real yet, and he assumed it wouldn't until he was standing on the court.

"Technically, conditioning starts today. We'll be running basic drills, nothing too concrete. Our first real practice is on Wednesday and then we have a scrimmage Friday night," Nathan explained. Those words felt odd coming out of his mouth.

"Scrimmage?" Haley asked for clarification, her forehead creased.

"It's like a pre-season game. We play another team in our division for practice, basically. It doesn't count towards our record or anything like that."

"Ah, I see. Are you nervous?" Haley asked, even though she was sure she already knew the answer.

"Terrified," Nathan answered with a dry laugh. "I'm oddly excited, though. I wasn't sure if I would ever feel that emotion again."

A small frown tugged at Haley's lips at his admission. "You're gonna be fine. This is a good thing, remember?"

"Yeah, I know," Nathan breathed out. "Speaking of practices, when does yours start?"

"Wednesday, too," Haley answered while standing up from the table, slinging her bag back on her back.

"And when do you get the uniform?" Nathan asked next, wiggling his eyebrows.

"You are so pushing your luck, buddy."

~x~

Nathan was only four years old the first time he held a basketball between the palms of his hands. It was bigger than the size of his head and he struggled to maintain a grip on it between his tiny fingers. The leather was rough around the edges and was scarred from years of use. He could still remember the way the musky smell of it tinkled his nose.

It was Dan Scott's first leather basketball and he it passed on to Nathan as a birthday present. Nathan's face had light up like a Christmas tree when he first saw what it was. He propelled himself off the living room floor, disregarding the other presents he still had to open. Nathan begged and begged to play, until Dan finally relented, joking about how all he wanted to do was finish eating piece of birthday cake.

Nathan couldn't dribble even a little bit, accidentally kicking the ball away from him every time he tried. The basketball net was way too high for him to reach. When he tried to shoot the ball, it only raised a couple of inches before crashing right back to the ground. Dan would pick him up and place him on his shoulders, allowing him to dunk.

That was his first taste of basketball, and that was all it took for him to fall in love with it.

He was ten years old when he first realized that he wanted basketball to be more than just a hobby. Dan had signed him up for a recreational team down at the YMCA. It was meant to be just something fun for Nathan to do after school and the weekends. After their first practice, Nathan noticed that he played a lot better than the other kids. He was fast on his feet and could knock down shots without thinking too much about it.

Nathan quickly realized that he loved the sound of sneakers on polished floors. He loved the rush of adrenaline he felt whenever the ball landed in his hands. The cheers and the constant appraisal was addicting. It brought him a sense of self-worth and undeniable happiness. Nothing felt more right than stepping on that court and holding that ball.

Except he lost it all the moment he lost his dad. It was a part of him that he feared he would never be able to find again. Evidently, he was wrong.

He was standing that same gym that he abandoned just a few years ago. He'd been there a few times since being kicked off the team, but he never took the time to really soak in its energy. He'd avoided looking at the court and he'd definitely avoided looking at the banners hanging on the ceiling, specifically the one with his father's name on it.

The gym still looked exactly how it did the first time he stepped through the double doors, with the exception of a few new banners and flags. The dimmed lighting couldn't stop the polished hardwood floor from shining. If he closed his eyes, he could almost picture being a freshman again.

He expected there to be a stab of pain or guilt. There wasn't one. A calm came over him and he felt another small piece of his shattered heart mend itself.

"Well, well, Nathan Scott. I didn't think I've ever see you in my gym again."

Nathan whipped around to see Whitey Durham approaching him. Coach Durham was a short old man, with lines like tire tracks of years on his face. He was almost always smiling. Sometimes it was cynical, a gesture of mockery. On very rare occasions, it was genuine. Right now, Nathan guessed it was genuine.

He was wearing his usual white polo, the words "Athletic Department" embroidered in blue letters above the left pocket. A clipboard was attached to his hip and pen was tucked behind his ear, that much hadn't changed about him either. He was still as intimidating as ever, with his animated eyes and gruffly looking mouth. There was a certain kind of peace that Nathan found in that.

"What? You didn't think I'd take the offer to be back on the team? I thought you thought more highly of me than that," Nathan joked lightly, pulling the strap to his athletic bag higher up his shoulder.

Whitey chuckled, shaking his head. "No, I didn't. In fact, when Keith first called me about some pretty girl wanting to get you back on the team, I thought it was an early April Fool's joke."

Nathan just hung his head. A smile spread across his face at the mention of Haley.

"This girl mean something to ya or is she just some groupie?" Whitey asked, clicking his tongue.

Nathan laughed at Whitey's sour tone over the word "groupie." One of his biggest pet peeves when it came to his players was when they started paying more attention to the girls batting their eyelashes at them than to the plays of the game. That usually only happened to the overly cocky players who cared more about the girls and attention, than their stats.

"She's my girlfriend," Nathan informed him. "She was just trying to give me the push that I needed, I guess."

Whitey's perked up at that revelation. "That's one hell of a gesture. Must be pretty serious between the two of you, eh?"

Nathan rocked backwards on his heels, clearing his throat. "I guess you could say that."

"She ain't gonna mess with your game, is she? You know how I feel about my players lollygagging up cheerleader's skirts when they should be focusing on the game," Whitey grumbled, his eyebrows folding in.

Nathan shook his head. "No, sir. If anything, Haley is going to keep me more focused on the game."

Whitey nodded in approval.

"What made you decide to give me another chance, Coach?" Nathan asked after a few moments of silence.

"Because I know that you're a hell of a player," Whitey answered without a moment of hesitation. "I saw so much raw potential the first time I saw you play. You played the game the right way. You didn't play it for validation or for popularity. You played it for _you_. And your teammates and this school. Some of the best players are the ones who are the most selfless."

"I've made a lot mistakes, Coach. I've done a lot stupid things," Nathan muttered shakily. "I'm not the same person I was when you first met and I'm sure I'm the same player, either"

Whitey clapped a hand on the back of his shoulder. "We've all done stupid things, son. We've all made mistakes. But none of those things take away your talent. And none of things can take away your heart, if you don't let it."

Nathan's breath was ragged. "I know."

"I gave you a second chance because, I know that the person you allowed yourself to become isn't the person you want to be. But seeing you here today, tells me that you're ready to get your life back on track," Whitey observed, squeezing his shoulder.

Nathan nodded. "More than ever."

"That's what I like to hear. Your dad would be proud of you."

Nathan's heart cinched at the mention of Dan. He swore he could feel tears prick in his eyes, but he remained grounded. He longed to argue that point, to explain how his dad had probably rolled over in his grave way too many times. The mournful and nostalgic glint in Whitey's eyes stopped him.

"I wish he was still here. I wish I could still look over at the first row from the bench and see both my parents cheering me on," Nathan admitted. Those thoughts had crossed his mind a million times, but he couldn't recall ever saying them out loud. It felt good.

"They are still here, Nathan. I feel your dad every single time I step into this gym, and you will, too. Believe it in your heart," Whitey said, giving Nathan's shoulder a squeeze.

"Thanks, Coach."

"Anytime, son. Now go get changed, we've got a lot of cardio to get going on!"

~x~

 **Scott -23**

A white piece of masking tape marked his locker. He was almost positive that this was the same locker had as a freshman. Was this tape always there, anticipating his return? Or was it freshly written and slathered on. He secretly hoped that it'd always remained there, some kind of concrete proof that this is where he was meant to be.

He slowly opened the locker, his hands shaking as he wiggled the lock out of the hole. It was empty inside, save two complete practice uniforms on hangers and an used water bottle. Sliding his bag off his shoulder, he quickly unzipped the smallest pocket on the front. He carefully pulled out two pictures.

One picture was of his parents after his first game when he was ten. A young Nathan was on Dan's shoulders, his head tossed back in a laugh. Dan was gripping his ankles, doubling over in laughter. Deb, despite her smile, was point at Nathan and most likely reminding him to be careful. He carried that picture with him everywhere, especially to events that involved basketball. That day was a turning point for his love for basketball and it was also one of the happiest days of his life.

The second picture was one of him and Haley. Brooke had slyly taken this picture at her Thanksgiving dinner. It was extremely candid, but he loved it because Haley had the biggest smile on her face. She was laughing about something and he swore he could hear her laugh through the photo. Everything was around her was blurry, even his figure. He was never symbolical person, but he believed that, that picture perfectly represented how she was the clarity in all his chaos.

Once the pictures were taped to the inside of his locker, he felt a little more on balance. Every time he opened that locker, the three most important people in his life would be staring back him. They would be his motivation.

A roar of conversation had Nathan jumping. Glancing over his shoulder, he watched as the rest of the team piled into the locker room. They were talking loudly, smacking towels around, dropping bags hastily on the floor, swinging lockers open, and tearing clothes off. None of them seemed to notice him yet, and he was grateful for that.

Turning back to his own bag, he pulled off grey t-shirt and reached for the medium blue practice jersey. His heartbeat was increasing with each passing second. This was actually happening. It was a conversation or an afterthought anymore. Suddenly, he felt sick.

"You doin' okay?" Lucas popped up next to him, working on unlocking his own locker.

"I'm suddenly really nervous," Nathan admitted. Although, seeing Lucas seemed to calm him down a-bit.

"You're gonna be fine. It's just conditioning today," Lucas said as if it were no big deal.

Nathan nodded as he glanced around at the other guys on the team. Some he recognized from try-outs all those years ago. Others he's seen around the halls and in some of his classes, but he hadn't said a single word to any of them. Any of the teammates he played with when he was on the team were long graduated. These players were just nameless faces.

"What about them?" Nathan motioned towards the other teammates, making sure to keep his voice low. "I'm sure they're not gonna happy about a new player on the roaster."

"That's where you're wrong," Jake chimed in, squeezing his way past them. He stopped to put a hand of Nathan's shoulder. "You're not a new player, you're a protégé. Practically a legend."

Lucas swatted his towel at Jake, laughing. "Come on, man, It's only the first day. Don't feed his ego that much."

Nathan just laughed as he un-did the button to his jeans and kicked off his tan boots. He grabbed his shorts and slipped up to his hips, before bending down to put on his shoes. The nervous energy was still flowing through his veins, but it was quickly morphing into adrenaline. That was what he longed to feel.

"Wow, I didn't know they let 'has beens' in here!" A deep and snarky voice called out.

Nathan turned around to see a dark-skinned boy standing in the center of the locker room. He was already in his uniform and Nathan didn't fail to notice that it was in peak condition. He looked to be about an inch or two taller than Nathan and had a self-righteous smirk on his face that immediately made Nathan's fists clench.

"Nathan Scott," The boy said, starting a slow clap with his hands. With each clap, he inched closer to Nathan. "I've got to say, it's is an honor to meet you."

Nathan narrowed his eyes the boy's condescending tone and extended hand. His jaw locked defensively and he squared his shoulders.

The locker room grew quiet, causing the tension to escalate. The rest of the team had stopped what they were doing to watch the exchange between the two boys. They were on the edge of their seats, their eyes shifting back and forth like asking the question "who's gonna throw the first punch?"

"No hand shake? Alright," He backed away, his hands in the air defensively. The smirk he was wearing was starting to piss Nathan off.

"What do you want, Quentin?" Lucas spoke up beside Nathan.

Quentin chuckled dryly, propping his hands on his hips. "Just wanted to make sure that our new player knows where his place is."

"Oh, yeah? And where's that?" Nathan rebuked, taking a step forward. He didn't know what this guy's problem was, but his patience was wearing thin.

"Nathan…," Jake warned, but he just ignored him.

"I've heard all about you, baller, we all have." Quentin made a show of motioning towards the rest of the team. "You're Nathan Scott—first freshmen to make Varsity in like fifteen years, had one hell of a jump shot, and had the best defensive stats in the state. You would have been one of the greats, until your dumbass got messed up with drugs and shit. Got yourself kicked off the team before the season even started."

Quentin's words cut deep, but Nathan remained apathetic. He wasn't going to allow some punk to get a rise out of him, no matter how much the anger was bubbling up inside of him. It just wasn't worth losing his second chance at happiness.

"Don't think that you can just waltz in here and claim your spot on the team. It don't work like that," Quentin sneered. "This is _my_ team and I ain't got time to waste on players who just want to fulfill some fantasy. You had your time and you threw it away."

Nathan clenched his fists and surged forward. He felt Lucas' hand on his arm, but he shook it off. His eyes were alight, the anger burning through him like a wild fire. "I think you're feeling a little threatened, huh? You know that I'm better than you and you're afraid I'm going to take everything from you."

Quentin let out a puff of breath, his eyes narrowing. "That's—

"Boys!" Coach Durham boomed, barreling through the door from his office. "What the hell are you doing in here? Puttin' on make-up?! We got drills to run, come on. Move!"

The team scattered at the demands. Quentin and Nathan remained toe-to-toe for a couple seconds, sizing each other up with narrowed eyes and harsh breaths. Finally, Quentin took a step back and his cocky smirk reappeared.

"Game on, Scott."

~x~

"Looks like someone forgot how to shoot. You know the ball is supposed to go through the hoop, right?" Quentin taunted, jogging passed Nathan with a jarring laugh.

Nathan clenched his teeth as he braced his hands against his knees. Sweat trickled down his face and the back of neck. His heart was slamming in his chest and his lungs burned every time he attempted to breathe. Every muscle in his body was begging him to stop, to take a breather.

"How you are feeling?" Jake asked with a knowing smirk.

"Exhausted," Nathan huffed out. "I didn't…. think I was…that out of… shape."

Jake chuckled, slapping Nathan on the back. "It happens to the best of us. It gets better, I promise."

"Hopefully," Nathan mumbled under his breath as he stood up. An ache shot through his lower back and he winced, his hand rubbing at the ache. He wobbled behind the rest of the team towards the locker room, the muscles in his legs contrasting painfully.

His head was spinning with thoughts of disappointment and self-loathing as collapsed on the bench in front of his locker. Grabbing his towel, he dabbed the sweat off his face and tried to catch his breath.

It wasn't like Nathan expected to step on out on the court and be perfect. Years had gone by since he last played with a team and practiced even some of the basic drills. Most of the time he just shot around at the River Court or played against Lucas and Jake. He expected to be rough around the edges, but he didn't expect to completely suck.

He was slow. It was like boulders were attached to his legs and he had to drag them in order for them to move. His reflexes were late, causing throws to be dropped from his fingers or to slide right passed him. Easy shots that he could knock down on the River Court seemed like rocket science now.

It didn't help matters that the team seemed to freeze him out, with the exception of his brother and his best friend. Quentin was a hell of a player and he intimidated people easily. Lucas might have been the captain, but no one dared to cross Quentin or disobey anything he ordered. It killed Nathan that Whitey didn't seem notice.

Quentin's side remarks weren't doing any good, either. Way back when, Nathan used to live for trash talk. He used it for motivation. Making people eat their words was one of Nathan's favorite pastimes. Quentin's trash talked was more than just trash, though, it was the truth. He knew it in his heart.

Lucas and Jake tried help out as much as that could, but it was futile. He felt a failure, there was no other way around it. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…

~x~

"So, let me get this straight, he completely bolted, with no explanation, after you gave him a hand job?"

"Quinn!" Haley exclaimed, her cheeks flaming red. "Do you have to be so crude?"

Quinn's musical laugh floated over the receiver. "That's what they're called, Haley Bob."

Haley just rolled her eyes as she turned over on her bed. Grabbing one of her pillows, she curled herself around it. Originally, Haley called Quinn to let her know how Lydia's first appointment with the therapist went. The conversation eventually switched Nathan. Quinn claimed that Haley didn't tell her enough about him at Christmas and that she demanded to know more.

She told Quinn as much as she could about him, without over stepping her boundaries. Like Haley, Quinn had a big heart and almost cried when she found out all that Nathan had endured. Haley even indulged in some of the…dirtier secrets, because, that's what sisters did, right?

"What was his explanation when you talked to him?" Quinn pondered.

"In simple terms, he said that he had a panic attack over basketball and needed to get away," Haley explained softly, picking the lint off of her pillow.

"Do you believe him?"

"Yes and no," Haley sighed. "I believe that he was freaking out about basketball, but I don't think he told me the whole truth."

"Do you have any idea what he could be hiding?"

Haley rolled over so that she was on her back, staring at her rotating ceiling fan. She ran her fingers through her hair, before twirling a few strands around her fingers. "I have no idea. He's not like us, Quinn. He holds so much back. I have to fight tooth and nail to get him to open up sometimes."

"Well, that's not really a surprise, considering the trauma that's he been through," Quinn commented sadly.

"I know," Haley lamented.

Quinn exhaled deeply. "This is the first time he's ever done something like this before, right?"

"Yeah."

"And he apologized, right?"

"Yes."

"Then I would just leave it be for now. If he really was having a panic attack, that would explain his sharp attitude and sudden outbursts. Panic attacks usually activate our fight or flight responses. If this 'ditching you' thing starts becoming more of a habit, than I would definitely press the issue," Quinn rattled off.

Haley giggled, playfully rolling her eyes. "Are you done psychoanalyzing my boyfriend now?"

"Hey, I gotta put my degree to use somehow," Quinn guffawed. "You did say that this was his first relationship, right? There's bound to be some hiccups here and there."

"You're right," Haley admired, sliding her hand one of her pillows. "Thank-you, Quinn. I just needed to know if I was crazy or not for forgiving him as easily as I did."

"No, not at all."

The sound of a car door slamming shut had Haley popping up on her elbows. Nathan's car was in the driveway. She could see the top of his making its way towards her front door, disappearing underneath the awning a few seconds later.

"Hey, Quinn, I gotta go. Nathan just got here," Haley quickly said into the phone, her already hovering over the "end" button.

"Oh, did he come back for round 2? You must have blown his mind."

"Goodbye, Quinn!" Haley bellowed, her cheeks burning. Quinn's laughter was the last thing she heard before hanging up the phone. She tossed it back on her desk and quickly glanced in the mirror to fix her bedhead.

Once she was content with her appearance, Haley bounced out of her room. Just as she was rounding the corner, she collided with something hard and tumbled backwards. A pair of arms encircled her waist and pulled her upright. After the whiplash had subsided, she looked up to see Nathan smirking at her in amusement.

"Hi," Nathan chuckled, pulling her flush against him.

"Hi," Haley said back, a shiver running down her spine at their close contact. Her arms automatically wrapped around his neck. "How'd you get in?"

"Your mom let me in," Nathan answered, bending down to capture her lips in a quick kiss. "She doesn't mind you having a boy in your room?"

"She's liberal," Haley joked, untangling herself from his arms. Lacing their fingers together, she led him back into her room. "Besides, she knows that I'm too much of a goody-goody to do anything when she's home."

Nathan laughed, the tension from his first practice slowly simmering away. He always felt more at peace around her. Gently, he pulled her backwards, until her back collided with his chest. He wrapped one around her midsection and used his free hand to brush her hair away from her neck. Leaning forward, he pressed soft, open-mouthed kisses to her flesh.

"Really? Not even if I kiss you like this?"

Haley's eyes fluttered shut as she melted into Nathan's embrace. They were supposed to be studying, that was the main reason Nathan had come over. Their finals were at the end of the week and those were vital to Nathan's graduate and future on the Ravens.

"Y-you're not going to distract me," Haley gasped out. She bit her lip to keep from moaning when the edge of teeth brushed against a sensitive patch right under her jaw.

"Wanna bet?" Nathan challenged. He didn't really want to study anyway. Dropping his hands to her hips, he squeezed them before shifting them beneath her t-shirt.

Haley's eyes popped open at the feel of Nathan's cold hands massaging the curves of her stomach. She fell limp against him and breathed in deeply. _Come on, Haley, get it together. Study first, and then you can make out with him all you want._ When Nathan's began to travel further north, she knew she had to stop him. She was teetering on the edge of losing her self-control and neither of them could afford that.

Grasping his hands, she slowly pulled herself out of the haze she was in. She blinked hard a few times, before turning to face him. "Baby, as good as that felt, we should really study. You want to graduate, don't you?"

Nathan huffed out a breath of air. "I guess."

Haley laughed at the pout on his face, pinching the corner of his chin. "I'll kiss you later, I promise."

Nathan grumbled to himself as he collapsed on Haley's bed. He winced when his muscles ache and contracted. He rubbed gingerly at his ribs, hoping to relieve some of the pressure. Damn, it was going to take a while to get used to being a seasoned athlete again.

Haley sat down at crossed legged at her desk chair and pulled out her notebook. Glancing over at Nathan, she frowned when she noticed his eyes were closed. "How was practice?"

"Exhausting," He answered without skipping a beat.

She trailed her eyes over his body and her frown deepened. He did look wiped out and she could hear the exhaustion in his hoarse voice. The bags were prominent under his eyes and his face was drained of color. He was wincing in pain even with the slightest of movement.

"That kind of comes with the territory, doesn't it?" Haley murmured.

He cracked a smile. "Yeah, I suppose."

"Other than that, how was it being back on the team?"

Nathan inhaled sharply. "I sucked."

"Nathan…"

He shook his head as he sat up. His shoulders were slumped in defeat and his throat felt scratchy as he spoke. "It was absolutely humiliating. It was like I had completely forgotten how to play."

Haley's heart broke at the crushed look on his face. Sighing, she crawled out of her chair and on to her bed. Placing a hand of his shoulder and another one on his thigh, she rested her chin on the curve of his shoulder. "Babe, you can't expect to be perfect on your first day back. You haven't played organized basketball in a few years. It takes time."

Nathan ran his fingers up and down her arm in a smooth caress. It killed him to say these things out loud. It physically made his stomach churn in pain. "I know that. But, Hales, you didn't see me. I couldn't even make a simple jump shot or free-throw. I'm starting to think maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe my basketball days are over."

"Don't say that," Haley scolded.

"It's how I feel," Nathan sighed.

"Can I ask you something?"

Meeting her gaze, he nodded.

"Despite the exhaustion and despite how poorly you might have played, how did it feel to be on that court again? For you, personally. Not for the team or their satisfaction," She inquired.

He mulled over her question for a few moments. "It felt…good. Right, even, like I was finally earning a piece of myself back."

"I want to show you something." Haley beamed at his answer. She quickly pecked his lips, before scooting off the bed and grabbing her laptop. When the screen lit up, she typed in her password and quickly opened the file she was looking for. Enlarging the pictures, she stood up and reclaimed her place next to Nathan.

"Look at these."

Nathan furrowed his eyebrows as she scrolled through a set of pictures. They were all of him playing basketball at the River Court. In some pictures, he was smiling. Others he was laughing. Regardless of his facial expression, he looked at relaxed. There were no worry lines or bags under his eyes. He barely recognized himself, because he looked…free.

"How—Where did these come from?" Nathan stammered.

"I took them."

Nathan's eyebrows shot up. "What? When?"

"Well, uh, most of them were taken before I really knew you," Haley answered nervously. "I saw you and Lucas playing the first night I was in town. I snapped some picture, because…well, that's what I do."

Nathan couldn't help but smirk at the blush on her face. "So, what you're saying is that you were stalking me?"

"What? No!" Haley quickly denied.

"Yes, you were."

Haley rolled her eyes and playfully elbowed him. "I wasn't. There is a point to me showing you these pictures, and it's not for you to make fun of me."

Nathan laughed and waved towards her computer. "Okay, go on."

"It's not only about how good you are, although you are pretty damn good. It's about your happiness, too. See that guy in these pictures? He looks happy. He looks care-free. He looks like he is doing exactly what he was born to do," Haley insisted, still scrolling through the album

"Hales…"

"You're meant to play basketball, Nathan," She cut him off. "Deep down, you know that and these pictures prove that. You can't give up, because you had one bad practice. You have to give yourself a chance."

Nathan stared at her, his eyes gleaming nothing but admiration. She had this insistent way of always being able to calm his biggest fears and loudest worries. Without wasting another second, he reached over and cupped her cheek, pressing his lips to hers in a lingering kiss. When the pulled apart, he rested his forehead against hers. "I needed to hear that."

Her lips curled into a small smile. "I figured you might."

He chuckled hoarsely, brushing a piece of hair out of her face. "I was having a diva moment, wasn't I?"

Haley giggled. "Just a little."

~x~

Nathan yawned, dragging a hand over his tired face. It was only Tuesday night and Nathan had already used all of his energy allotted for the week. Between basketball practice, studying for finals, and catering to Damien, he barely had time to breathe. A hot tub party that Damien required he go to was the last place he wanted to be. The steam from the hot tub was burning his exhausted eyes and the loud music was giving him a headache

Luckily, Rachel seemed to have finally gotten the hint. She kept her distance from him the entire night.

. He glared at Damien, who was lounging in the hot tub. Two blondes were draped over, alternating between kissing his neck and his chest. A broken piece of mirror with thin white lines and a rolled up hundred-dollar bill was being passed around like a party platter. Nathan briefly thought back to a time when he would have eagerly accepted that party platter and felt sick to his stomach.

Peeking at the time on his phone, Nathan groaned. It was almost two-thirty in the morning. Leave it Damien to throw a party, starting at one in the morning, on a Tuesday night. He had his first real practice tomorrow and a final exam. This was the last place he needed to be.

When the song changed to yet another annoying, techno song, Nathan knew it was time for him to leave. Pushing himself out of the chaise chair he was sitting on, he headed back inside the pool house to grab his coat and keys. When he went to grab his keys, a bright light caught his eye. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looked towards the source of the light and his heart plummeted to his chest.

It was Damien's office and it was unlocked, unattended.

Nathan quickly glanced down the hall. There was no one in sight and the pool house was quiet. The chatter and thumping of the music from the hot tubs sounded miles away.

It was like there was a gravitational pull between Nathan and Damien's office. His feet were moving on their own accord, inching closer and closer to the office. Once his brain caught up to what his feet were doing, he frozen. His heart was banging in his chest.

What if this was a trap? But what if it wasn't? What if this was his only chance to get that lock box open? He couldn't pass that up, no matter how much of a risk it was. He knew getting involved with Damien again would mean taking risks. He just had to be careful and take it one step at a time.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and walked a little faster towards the office. All he had to do was see what kind of code the lock box contained. That way, he could try and crack the code without physically being in Damien's office.

He reached the open-door way and paused again. A cold sweat broke out on his skin. _Come on, Nathan, you can do this._

Pushing every thought out of his mind, he crossed the threshold. He crouched below the desk with his heart pounding in his ears and his hands shaking like leafs. He reached for the box when everything came crashing down.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

Busted.


	23. Chapter 23

This chapter took me so long for 2 reasons. 1) It's such a big chapter and I wanted to get it just right. I put a lot of pressure on myself for this chapter to be perfect. I about typed and backspaced parts of this chapter a minimum of 5 times and I'm not even exaggerating. I finally feel like it's where I want it to be, but I'm still super nervous for you guys to read it. Hopefully y'all don't hate me too much, and it enjoy it, nevertheless. 2) The holidays are always pretty rough for me and my family. It's always a very tension filled season for us and a lot of times, that triggers my anxiety. I'm on medication that helps relax me, but unfortunately it also puts me to sleep. And I have been taking it...a lot, recently. I know I get pretty personal with you guys about my depression/anxiety and I apologize if I annoy any of you with it.

P.S. If you aren't reading "The Lights That Guide You Home" by missmelsie (Or any of her one-shots), you are living your life wrong. It is one of the best written fics I have ever read and I highly recommend it. It's just marvelous. Also, happy New Year!

* * *

 _"What the fuck are you doing?!"_

Those words echoed in Nathan's head as his shoes squeaked against the hardwood. Damien's venomous tone and cold, cutting edge eyes were tattooed in his memory. Every time he closed his eyes, even if it was just to blink, he heard his voice and saw that look of betrayal. It left him with a searing pain in his chest.

"Nathan!" Jake shouted, passing the basketball in his direction.

Reflectively, Nathan put his hands up to catch the ball, but it slipped right through his fingers and collided with the side of the bleachers. Normally, Nathan would have been pissed at himself for that. Instead he felt nothing. Not even a sliver of aggravation. It didn't matter how he played. Nothing mattered...not anymore.

Whitey blew his whistle and Nathan dragged his tired body over to the bench. Plopping down, he grabbed his towel and patted at the sweat coating his skin. His heart was racing in his chest and it had little to do with the physical activity he had just partaken in.

 _The gun clicked, the bullets settling into place. Damien ran his hand over the shiny metal and paused right over the trigger._

 _"I really didn't think you'd be stupid enough to cross me again. I guess I was wrong."_

Nathan's chest constricted as he struggled to breathe. Whitey was giving directions, but he couldn't comprehend a word of it. Everything around him felt cloudy, like he was dreaming. He was drowning in his own thoughts. With every passing second, they were rising higher and higher. It was only a matter of time before they swallowed him whole.

The whistle blew again and the team got off the bench. Nathan was a beat behind them. His bones felt brittle, like with one wrong move they would shatter. He was drained, physically and mentally.

A hand clapped over his shoulder and he jumped.

"Nate, you okay?" Lucas asked. His brows were furrowed in concern. "You're looking a little pale."

Nathan only nodded and Lucas stared at him hard. The incredulity seeped off him in waves and Nathan gulped. He was used to being transparent in Lucas' eyes, but he prayed he could pull off being at least translucent this time.

The seconds ticked by slowly until Lucas finally released his grip. Nathan avoided his prodding gaze as he took his place on the court. The whistle sounded again and the team was in motion. Their bodies were moving in slow motion to Nathan and it took him a couple of seconds to register what was happening. As if on autopilot, he began to run.

He knew what he was _supposed_ to do. He was supposed to find a way to break free from the two players guarding him. Once he was open, Jake was to pass him the ball and he was to shoot it. But it was like his mind couldn't or wouldn't communicate that to the rest of the body.

 _The barrel was pressed to his head and he swallowed hard. It was cold, but his body felt like an inferno._

 _'You're so stupid, Nathan. God, you're so stupid. You should have just stayed away.' He continuously chanted to himself. He wanted to shut his eyes, but he was afraid that if he did, he'd never open them again._

 _"It would be so easy to pull this trigger. It would all be over for you. But no, that's not good enough. I want to watch you suffer, like I did before."_

The gym felt like it was caving in around him. The basketball sailing towards him morphed into Damien—the insipid eyes and the wicked snarl glaring back at him. He caught the ball in his hands, right before it collided with his face. His fingers flexed around leather and his stomach bottomed out.

 _"The only questions left are how and who? Lucas? Jake? ...Haley?"_

Everything around him faded. The sweat pouring down his face chilled and his heartbeat fell flat. His body completely shut down on him, partially in fear and partially in anger.

Someone was going to get hurt and it was going to be all his fault. Again. History was repeating itself and he was helpless to stop it. The urge to run was strong, but he wasn't sure where he would go or if that would even help. The thought of watching someone that he cared about fall at the hands of his mistakes made him want to die. That was a thought he hadn't had in a while.

He _couldn't_ handle going through that again.

 _"What the fuck is your problem, Scott?"_

"What the fuck is your problem, Scott? Quentin barked, knocking the basketball out of Nathan's grip. "You can't follow a simple instruction?"

Quentin shoved Nathan as he walked passed him and Nathan completely lost all sense of himself. He took one swing with a clenched fist and it landed squarely on Quentin's jaw. He doubled back, his hand clutching the raw skin and his eyes narrowing at Nathan. Quentin wasted no time to retaliate and before anyone knew it, Nathan was on his back.

If someone were to ask Nathan why he swung at Quentin, he wouldn't have an answer. Just like he wasn't sure why he didn't fight back. He felt the impact of Quentin's punches against his cheek, upper chest, and stomach, but felt zero pain. He could hear people shouting and feel people trying to pull Quentin off of him, but he just remained limp.

Every inch of him was numb, even though he was silently begging to feel every sting of pain.

Nathan wasn't sure how much time had passed, before he was pulled off the ground and thrusted into the boy's locker room. There was a dull ache in his ribs and the room felt like it was spinning. He could vaguely see the silhouettes of Lucas and Jake standing in front of him. Their lips were moving, but all he heard was static.

 _"It would be so easy to pull this trigger."_

 _"I didn't think you'd be stupid enough to cross me again."_

 _"I want to watch you suffer."_

 _"The only questions left are how and who? Lucas? Jake? ...Haley? Maybe this bullet should be saved for one of them."_

"Nathan!" Lucas shouted, giving him a hard shake.

That seemed to do the trick.

Nathan squeezed his eyes shut and gripped the edge of his seat. He gulped in a deep breath of air, before slowly letting it out. When he reopened his eyes, he felt grounded again. He blinked a few extra times, clearing the fog from his eyes. Eventually, Lucas and Jake came into clear view. They were both staring at him with a fierce uneasiness.

"What the fuck was that?" Lucas hissed, his fingers digging painfully into the round tops of Nathan's shoulders. "Coach Durham gives you another chance and you thank him by clocking Quentin?!"

"Luke!" Jake scolded. He braced his arm against Lucas' chest, pulling him away from Nathan.

Nathan struggled to swallow. His throat was dry and scratchy. "I didn't mean to."

"How do you not mean to hit someone?" Lucas argued, frowning.

Nathan brushed a hand over his face. His knee was bouncing anxiously and he physically couldn't lift his head up to look at them. "Damien caught me in his office last night."

Lucas and Jake both froze. A panicky expression fell over their faces.

"What do you mean he caught you in his office last night?" Jake interrogated, eyes narrowed into tiny slits.

Nathan's lung felt as if they'd shrunk in size. Jake and Lucas were going to be completely crushed when he divulged to them what happened. They trusted him. They put their faith in him. It's not like they didn't know that he ran the risk of getting caught, but he's sure they didn't expect him to screw up within the first chance that he'd gotten.

"He has a lock box under his desk in his office," Nathan began to explain. His dry throat made painful to speak. "I'm almost positive that is where he keeps his victim files. Last night, his office was left unlocked. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to do some investigating. I didn't get very far, because Damien…found me."

Nathan braced himself for the shouts of anger. His muscles tensed as if he was waiting for Jake or Lucas to lay punches into him. Lord only knows that he would have deserved it.

All Nathan could think about was how he should have walked away. He was notorious for having the worst luck and that alone should have stopped him. He was so stupid. God, he was so fucking stupid.

Lucas gritted his teeth and a flame brewed in his eyes. Despite his obvious anger, spoke in a calm and level voice. "What happens now?"

Nathan gulped. "I…I'm not sure."

"You're still alive—that's some good in this situation," Jake muttered dryly, scratching the back of his neck. "What did Damien say?"

"That he wanted to watch me suffer," Nathan glowered as he rubbed his hands together. "He pulled a gun out on me and threatened both of you. And Haley."

There was no need for Nathan to elaborate on that. Lucas and Jake already knew what Damien's threats usually consisted of.

The silence stretched on for miles between them. And there was nothing louder than their silence. For Nathan, that was terrifying. His world was falling pulling apart at the seams and he felt like he was on the brink of going crazy. He wanted to crawl out of his own skin.

"This isn't good," Lucas stated obviously, finally disrupting the silence. His voiced quivered in thick fear.

"I know that this isn't something you want to do, and I understood your reasons for waiting, but I think now is the time to go to the police," Jake asserted, running both of his hands through his sweat-coated hair.

"I know," Nathan confirmed.

Lucas and Jake stole surprised glances.

"But, I need more time."

The surprise was broken.

Lucas shook his head angrily. "This isn't a time for you to be stubborn, Nate. All of our lives are in danger!"

"You think I don't know that?!" Nathan shouted, jumping up from the bench. The pain in his eyes shifted to anger instantaneously. "This isn't me being stubborn. This is me trying to figure a way out of this mess that I've forced you all into. This is me trying to figure out how to keep you all safe."

"How is letting Damien continue to roam freely going to keep us safe?" Lucas shouted back and stepped closer to Nathan.

"If I go to the police now, when it's just his word against mine, it's just going to make things worse," Nathan argued further. "You know how easy it is for Damien to weasel his way out of things. It'll be even easier for him to get out of this, because I don't have anything substantial. I don't even have enough evidence for them to get a warrant to search his pool house. I already 'betrayed' Damien once. He'll just view that as another act of betrayal and that'll make things even worse. "

"He's right," Jake muttered briskly as he gritted his teeth together. Without warning, he whipped around and slammed his palm into a closed locker. A loud bang ricocheted through the empty locker room. "Damn it! We're fucked if we do, and we're fucked if we don't."

"How do we get out of this, then?" Lucas pressed helplessly. "Do we just wait it out and fight off whatever Damien decides to pull?"

"I don't know…I just…I need time."

"We might not have _time_."

Nathan groaned in aggravation and buried his fingers in the thick strands of his hair. "I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'll figure it out, I promise. I won't let anything to happen to any of you. I'd rather die."

"What about you, Nathan? What about your life?" Jake asked.

"I don't matter in this situation," Nathan mumbled. "I'm going to do whatever I have to do."

"Nate—"

Nathan shook his head, effectively cutting him off. "Don't. This is my cross to bear. No one else's."

~x~

Haley eyed Nathan curiously as she tapped the end of her pen against the corner of her biology book. He was lounging on the couch adjacent to her. His elbows were resting on his knees and he was staring blankly at the worksheet in front of him. There was something clearly off about him and it made her uneasy.

He was dead quiet. Granted, she had come over there to study for their last final exam, but the quiet wouldn't have bothered her if Nathan was actually studying. His practice worksheet was left untouched and she hadn't seen him pick up his pencil once. Whenever she attempted to talk to him he gave her curt, one word answers, and never once looked at her directly.

It was also impossible to ignore the purple and yellow marks that were forming around his right eye and on the curve of his jaw. The skin was slightly red, clearly still raw from the intrusions. When she asked him about it, he brushed it off as a "basketball accident." It was an obvious lie, but she didn't get a chance to argue it.

The far off look in his eyes was hauntingly familiar. She was suddenly transported back in time to when they first met and he wore that same look in his eyes daily. It was like he was lost in his mind, trying to fight off his demons on his own accord. Haley wasn't sure what to do with that revelation. Did she call him out on it? Or did she just let him fight through it on his own?

Sighing, she tossed her pencil and jumped up from her seat. Brushing her hands along the rough fabric of her jeans, she trotted over to the drawer where Nathan and Lucas kept their take-out menus. "Are you hungry? We should order a pizza or something."

Nathan didn't reply. In fact, he didn't even acknowledge that she had spoken at all.

"Nathan?" She said a little louder.

Still nothing.

Huffing loudly, she squared her hands on her hips. "Nathan!"

Nathan jolted out of his trance. His knee collided with the edge of the coffee table and he swore sharply, immediately reaching to rub the injury. Turning around to face Haley, he tensed when he saw the apprehensive and annoyed look on her face. "Yeah?"

"I asked if you were hungry?" Haley repeated, flittering her hand towards the take-out menus she picked up.

Nathan's stomach lurched and twisted at the thought of eating. His anxiety was eating away at his stomach and he was sure anything he ate would've just came right back up. So, he just shook his head and turned away from her.

A surge of annoyance raced through her veins. Haley clicked her tongue before pursing her lips. She couldn't take his silence anymore. Pushing the menu's aside, she walked over to the couch and claimed the spot next to him.

"Nathan, what's wrong? You've been quiet all night," Haley asked, plopping her hands down on his shoulders. Right away, she felt how tense he was.

"Nothing," Nathan declared, brushing her hands off of him. He couldn't think straight when she was touching him. He pushed his useless homework away from him and jumped up from the couch. Walking into the kitchen, he opened the fridge to grab a beer. It was the first time in weeks that he'd reached for alcohol, but he needed something with substance tonight. He was a dead man walking, anyway.

Haley was smart and he knew it was only a matter of time before she started questioning him. He was surprised at how difficult it was to lie to her and how much it hurt to do so. He'd never felt that kind of pain before and it made his already cloudy head even hazier. Cracking open the beer, he quickly took a swig and cringed slightly when the bitter liquid slid down his throat.

Just another checkmark to add to the "Nathan Scott is a Failure" column.

Haley eyed the beer with a frown pulling on her lips. She ran a frustrated hand through her hair, a sad attempt at trying to calm herself down. Did she expect him to answer truthfully? No. Did it still hurt that he didn't? Like hell. "Why do you always do this?"

"Do what?" He asked dryly.

"You always push me away," She answered quietly as she stood up from the couch. "I told you that there is nothing in this world that you could say that would scare me away. I just want you to let me _in_."

Nathan turned around, put his beer down, and rested his hands against the sink. He inhaled deeply. It's not like he meant to shut down like he always did. He wanted to let her in but he was just so damn scared. He wasn't sure that feeling would ever go away. "Don't do this, Haley."

"Do what? Care about you?" She asked incredulously, her voice rising in volume. A part of her felt terrible for goading him like she was, but there was only so much secrecy and brushing off she could take before she exploded.

"You shouldn't care about me," Nathan growled. He was being self-deprecating and he was well aware of it.

"Stop that," Haley demanded, her heart aching in her chest. There was something about the lack of emotion in Nathan's voice that broke her heart. He sounded broken and lifeless, something she hoped she'd never have to experience again, yet here they were. "I care about you. Nothing you say or do is going to change that."

"Why do you even bother? It would be so much easier for you to just walk away and forget that I even existed," He yelled back, his hands clenching into tight fists against the cool marble of the counter. He couldn't turn around to look at her. The anger was bubbling up inside of him and he couldn't control it.

Today was hell and this was just making it worse. Damien's words kept echoing in his head and he couldn't help from thinking that maybe this was his chance. Maybe this was his chance to say something so hurtful to her that she would leave and never come back. God, the thought of hurting her made his blood boil even more…but what other choice did he have?

"Because I can't," Haley whispered. Her heart was beating out of her chest at this point. How could he actually think she could easily walk away and forget he ever existed? That was an impossible wish. She was shaking uncontrollably and tears pricked at the back of her eyes. Hearing him talk like he was insignificant to her tore her to shreds. Didn't he know how much he meant to her? Didn't he know that she didn't say something unless she meant it?

Nathan shook his head. "Don't say that bullshit to me. You're just too naïve to realize that you should be running far, far away from me. Do yourself a favor, Haley." His voice was cold and stern as he spoke through gritted teeth. The words burned at the back of his throat. Why couldn't she just understand that he wasn't a good person?

Haley felt a flash of anger and frustration run through her body. She wasn't going to allow him to push her away, not this time. She wasn't going to walk away from him, she couldn't. Before she could even think about stopping herself, she was yelling back at him. The words just seemed to flow out like they were the most natural thing in the world. "Because I'm in love with you, that's why!"

Nathan's world stopped turning on its axis.

Her words slowly sunk in and his heartbeat came to a halt. That was the last thing he had expected her to say. Slowly, he turned around to face her and chills ran down his spine at how she was looking at him. He could see the truth so clear in her eyes and he felt like he couldn't breathe. Damien's words were no longer plaguing his mind. All thoughts of hurting her, of needing her to hate him…vanished.

This girl….she loved him—she was in love with him. She was so pure, so innocent, so good, and she saw something in a corrupted and terrible person like him. He had spent the last few years of his life believing that he wasn't worthy of love. No one would ever love him and for the longest time he believed that he was okay with that. But now looking at the beautiful angel standing in front of him, he realized that he was never okay. The bewilderment and happiness that he was feeling at her confession was proof that love was everything that he was looking for.

Nathan's feet carried him until he was standing directly in front of her, the look of wonderment still on his face. His heart was pounding in his chest as he gently cupped Haley's face in his hands. "S-say that again," He muttered breathlessly. He needed to hear it again, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

Haley wrapped her fingers around his wrists, gripping them tight. The way Nathan was looking at her cause her toes to curl and her heart to pound so fast that she was surprised it didn't burst. "I'm in love with you," She whispered, her voice full of emotion. "I love you, Nathan."

Without a second more of hesitation, Nathan captured her lips in a searing kiss. His hands slid from her cheeks into the curly strands of her hair, as Haley's hands latched on to the collar of her light blue dress shirt. She fell limp against him and he quickly banded an arm around her waist to steady her.

The kiss, which had started off an intense and fast paced duel of passion, slowed into a soft and chaste one. Pulling away, Nathan rested his forehead against Haley's. Her brown eyes were sparkling back at him in pure adoration, causing his heart to thud even harder in his chest. Her tiny fingers grazed over his injuries and the concern in her eyes rocked him to his core.

Bending his knees a little, he scooped her up in his arms. A surprised squeal fell from her lips and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. He smiled up at, a real and blissed out smile, before capturing her lips in another passionate kiss. A kiss that led to them tumbling down the hall to Nathan's bedroom, completely forgetting about his secrecy.

It could be seen as them glossing over their issues, but their hearts didn't stop to question how right that moment felt.

They stumbled on to Nathan's bed, never once breaking their visceral kiss. Teeth and tongues clashed as they kissed each other desperately. Their bodies were a mess of limbs. Their hands roamed each other's bodies—soft caresses of sensitive skin and desperate grabs of clothing. Hips rocked together, eliciting quiet whimpers and fervent moans.

Haley's hands moved to the buttons on Nathan's shirt, fumbling to get them undone. It was a hard task to concentrate on when Nathan was manipulating every sensitive crevice on her neck with light nibbles and smooth kisses. Whimper after whimper, his name rolled of her tongue.

Once the last button was undone, she pushed the shirt off his shoulders and he tossed it uncaringly to the side. Haley raked her eyes over the velvety planes of Nathan's chest and down to the firm cut of his stomach. A fierce mixture of love and lust burned through her veins and any inhibitions that she had seemed to melt away.

She pushed him away gently and smirked at his obvious confusion. Before he had the chance to ask her what was wrong, she sat up and forced him on his back. Straddling his waist, she pulled her shirt over her heard without a second though and tossed it to the side.

Nathan's eyes widened at Haley's sudden movements. All the blood in his body rushed south. He couldn't take his eyes off her toned stomach or heaving chest. Her black bra contrasted enticingly with her porcelain skin. A light pink blush dusted her skin and the moonlight shining in from the window provided her with an angelic glow.

Not being able to ignore the slow thump of his heart, he sat up and readjusted her in his lap. His hands splayed against the heated skin of her lower back and slammed their bodies together. Their lips moved hotly, with their lower bodies grinding together. Nathan felt her gasping against his lips and it only served to drive him crazier.

"I'm never gonna get tired of this," Nathan rasped against her lips. "You're so damn intoxicating."

Haley dragged her fingers through his hair and struggled to even her breathing. "I know the feeling…definitely know the feeling."

She wasn't sure what came over her in that moment, but she found herself reaching behind her back and unfastening the clip to her bra. She didn't want to think, not when everything she was doing felt right.

The straps fell off her shoulders and Nathan's eyes widened further.

"Haley?" He questioned cautiously. His body was on fire. He was surprised he could even form a coherent thought with a lusty fog invading all of his senses.

"It's okay," Haley whispered, letting her bra fall further off her body. "It's okay."

Words escaped him as she pulled the garment away and threw it to join the rest of their clothes. She was so fucking perfect.

He just had to taste her. Leaning forward, he skimmed his lips across the top of her chest, working his way towards the center. The first touch of his tongue on her nipple had her eyes rolling to the back of her head.

"Oh, God," Haley moaned. She tossed her head back as she gripped Nathan's hair.

He was relentless, kissing and licking every inch of skin he could reach. His ministrations were maddeningly slow and gentle. He was driving her absolutely mad. She thirsted for me. She needed more.

Her hips grinded against his on their own accord, earning a guttural groan from Nathan. It wasn't long before she found herself on her back again, with Nathan hovering over her.

"Nathan?" Haley panted as Nathan kissed his way down her stomach. Her skin fluttered beneath his soft caresses and the rest of her body was shivering with desire. Slipping her fingers in his hair, she gently pulled him back up to her mouth.

"Yeah?" He breathed out. An intense shiver passed through him when he met her lust-filled gaze. Her fingers were tenderly brushing through his hair, calming his racing heart.

"Make love to me," She said confidently. Haley knew what she wanted. She knew from the moment he kissed her with such a knee weakening passion that it stole her breath away. There wasn't even a sliver of doubt in her mind that she wanted him. She was in love for the first time in her life and it was the type of love that completely consumed her—the type of love that she always dreamed of finding.

Nathan's heart stopped beating for the second time that day. Her words repeated in his head and each time it did, his stomach clenched even further.

"Hales...are you sure?" He asked shakily, squeezing her bare waist softly.

A slow and confident smile crossed her face. "I've never been surer."

He searched her eyes diligently for even the smallest sign of doubt. He swallowed the lump in his throat when he came up empty. He wasn't an amateur when it came to sex—something that he honestly wasn't all that proud to admit—but Haley had him feeling like this was his first time. His heart was racing, a sweat had broken out on his skin, and every nerve in his body was on fire.

Closing the distance between them, he kissed her softly and fingers slowly glided to the button on her jeans. His hands were trembling as he worked on unfastening the button and zipper on her jeans. She lifted her hips off the bed and he yanked both her jeans and her panties down her legs.

Haley bit her lip as Nathan's eyes raked over her naked body. She expected to feel embarrassed around him or at least feel the urge to cover herself up. But she didn't, not in the slightest. Nathan's eyes had shifted from their usual light blue to lust darkened midnight, causing a layer of goosebumps to paint her skin.

The tips of Nathan's fingers traced the contours of her body, starting with the crease of her knee and up to the indentations of her collarbone. He was mesmerized by every inch of her smooth and pale skin.

"You're so beautiful," He whispered adoringly. He smiled when she blushed.

Haley squirmed beneath his intense gaze and a fire burned in the pit of her stomach. She brusher her fingers along the curve of his shoulder, feeling the skin quiver under her touch. "You're shaking, Nathan," She murmured quietly.

The corner of his mouth twitched into a smirk as he bent forward. Gently grabbing her hand, he placed her hand over his heart and planted kisses around her jaw to ear. "My heart's racing, too. That's what happens when I'm around you."

The pitter and patter of his heart was strong against the palm of her hand, eliciting a gasp from her. She inhaled sharply when his lips glided down the column of her throat. Sliding her hand down his slick torso, he shuddered when she loosened his jeans. Using her legs, she struggled to push them down his hips. Nathan followed her lead and a few seconds later, there wasn't a single layer of clothing between them.

The butterflies in Haley's stomach grew even larger as she watched Nathan reached over to his bedside table. When she saw that he was grabbing a condom, the weight of reality came crushing down on her. She was absolutely terrified, but in the best way possible. It was so exhilarating to want someone as she wanted Nathan and to know that he wanted her just as much.

A mutual sigh of pleasure pushed pass their lips when their bare skin came in contact for the first time. Their foreheads rested together as Nathan's arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Never breaking their eye contact, Nathan trailed his hand over her thigh, before hooking it over his hip. Haley gasped and dug her nails into the round tops of his shoulders.

"Nathan?" Haley called out, her voice shaking with panic.

"Do you want to stop?" He quickly asked.

Haley shook her head and smiled shakily at him. "No, no…I'm just nervous."

Nathan chuckled soothingly and brushed his lips against the corner of her mouth. "Want to know a secret? I am, too."

Hearing that helped Haley calm down a little, but there was still one thought plaguing her mind. She hated the fact that she was about to ruin this perfect moment between them with her insecurities, but she wouldn't have been able to relax if she didn't express her thoughts.

"W-what if it's not good enough for you? I don't have any idea what I'm doing and you—"

Nathan silenced her by kissing her passionately. Once they parted, he caressed her warm cheek in the palm of his hand. "Hales, I feel _everything_ just from kissing you. I feel things that I didn't know it was possible for me to feel. You've always been and always will be more than enough for me."

The hoarse tone and conviction in his voice had her fighting a smile. "Okay."

"We don't have to do this."

"I want you. So much," She declared. "Just…go slow."

He nodded in affirmation. With a pounding heartbeat, he moved his lips against hers and slowly pressed into her. He swallowed down her gasp and kissed her harder to take her mind off the pain. It took every ounce of self-control he had to not pound his hips into hers. She felt so good, better than anything he could had ever imagined.

He couldn't be selfish. Not with her.

He pulled away just enough so that his lips were hovering over hers. "Are you okay?" Nathan croaked, reaching a hand up to rub her cheek.

With hooded eyes, Haley nodded. "I guess I really am yours now. Only yours."

Nathan dropped his head to crook of her neck. He groaned at her words and trembled against her. He had to be dreaming. Something like this was too amazing to be real.

They moved together in perfect sync, their bodies molded together at every curve. Their sweat sodden skin glided together as moans and gasps echoed throughout the room. Haley's fingers roamed Nathan's back, piercing his skin with the blunt edges of her nails. Nathan's lips traveled her face and neck in a flightless pattern.

"Nothing has ever felt this good before," Haley whimpered. She'd heard so many horror stories about people's first times. They were always described as being painful or incredibly awkward. She wouldn't have used either one of those adjectives to describe what she was experiencing. The pain only lasted a few seconds and everything else was…blissful.

She felt whole, completed. She didn't know pleasure like this existed.

"I know," Nathan agreed huskily.

Haley hooked her leg higher over his hip and moaned loudly when he slid in deeper. He back arched off the bed and dug her nails into his arms harshly.

"Shit," Nathan muttered under his breath. "Put the other leg up."

She followed his orders and she swore she saw stars. Shudder after shudder ran through her body, as her orgasm ripped through her without warning. Her eyes squeezed shut and Nathan's name was a chant of appraisal.

He stared in wonderment.

When her eyes reopened, Nathan solidified his gaze on hers. Their lips brushed together with each heaving breath. He wanted to memorize every second of this moment—the glossy look in her eyes, the blush on her cheeks, the look of bliss on her face, and her kiss swollen lips.

"Say it again, baby," He breathed against her lips. "Please."

Haley didn't have to ask to know what he meant.

"I love you," She purred, her fingers flexing harder into his skin.

That was all into took for everything to pull inside of him. He stilled his movements and her name dripped from his lips like a prayer. Collapsing on top of her, he pressed his lips to the base of her throat.

Time slid by as they tried to regain control of their breathing and their rapid heartbeats. The fatigue in their muscles was a warranted relaxation. When composure met sanity, Nathan gently rolled off of Haley. Once on his back, he curled an arm around her waist and pulled her into his side.

Haley rested her head on his chest. The sound of his elevated heart beat was soothing to her.

"You okay?" Nathan asked after a few moments of silence.

She tilted her chin towards him. "I'm perfect."

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "Yeah, you are."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

She smiled up at him. "For being you."

~x~

Haley was jolted awake by a cacophony of loud voices. Dazed with sleep, she slowly sat up and glanced around Nathan's room. Her brows were furrowed in confusion as she fought for a clear consciousness. The blinds were half-closed and gray light seeped into the room. The soft sound of raindrops pattering against the window echoed through the quiet room. Moving her eyes to the floor, she noted her and Nathan's clothes littered across the tan carpet.

Nathan was no longer lying beside her.

It was then she realized there was a blissful ache in her bones and all of the memories from the night before came rushing back to her. It was all soft kisses, gentle caresses, and passion-filled sighs of lover's names. Her cheeks flamed red as she remembered the way they fit together, her blistering skin against the silk of his sheets, and the burning desire that flowed through her veins.

She often wondered what it would be like when she lost her virginity. What girl didn't? She had her fears about it—like would she regret it like Quinn did after losing hers to a boy that ended up breaking her heart? Or would it be on her wedding night to love of her life, like Vivian?

 _The love of her life._

Haley smiled softly at that thought. Her fingers were drawn like a magnet to the charm bracelet that never left her wrist. She couldn't pinpoint exactly when she fell in love with him, but she'd been aware of her feelings for a while. She hadn't expected to profess her feelings to him the way that she did, but the look on Nathan's face made it all worth it.

And then what her confession led to…boy, she was in deep. Everything about it had been perfect. She hadn't forgotten about their fight or the fact that Nathan was keeping things from her, but something about their night together had put things in a new perspective for her.

To put it simply, last night was one of the best nights of her life.

Another loud shout had reaching for the sheet that was twisted around her legs, shielding her bare skin. The shouting was shortly followed by a loud bang that had her springing out of Nathan's bed. Her heart was racing as she pulled one of Nathan's t-shirts over her head and bolted over to the cracked open door.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she heard a voice that caused a chill to rattle her spine.

"You really expect me to believe that?"

The voice belonged to Damien West and Haley didn't need to see his face to know that whatever they were discussing wasn't good. His voice, which always caused her stomach to knot up, sounded even more insidious. She wasn't all that educated in Nathan's past, but she was certain that Damien was a part of it…the most dangerous part of it.

The smart thing to do would have been just to crawl back in bed and wait for Nathan to come back in. She hated eavesdropping. But her feet were welded to the floor and her brain wasn't communicated with the rest of her body. In fact, it betrayed her by inching closer to the door.

Nathan's laugh was the next sound she heard and her face immediately scrunched up in confusion. It wasn't a heart-filled laugh or one that meant humor. It was dark and cynical.

"Damien, you said so yourself—we're one in the same. We both love going after the innocent ones, because it gives us power. It's a type of satisfaction that we don't get from anything else."

There was something in the tone of Nathan's voice that made Haley's stomach sink. The words coming out of him didn't sound like him at all. He was always so soft spoken and kind, never spineless or cold hearted.

"And you're telling me that Haley was just one of conquests?"

Her heart stopped at the sound of her name. Her knees felt wobbly and she had to extend a hand to the wall to keep herself upright. A conquest? She waited with baited breath of Nathan to answer, even though she was terrified of what his answer would be. He had to deny that claim. He just had to.

"Haley means absolutely nothing to me," Nathan snickered. "Come on, you know how girls like her can be. They're not just going to drop their panties after a few smooth lines. You gotta win them over—wipe their tears when they cry, whisper sweet nothings in their ear, buy them meaningful gifts, promise them the world. It's a fucking chase, but the payoff is so goddamn worth it."

Haley felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest and the wind had been knocked out of her. All of her bones turned to Jell-O and fell against the door, shutting it completely with a soft click. She reached for her chest as she struggled to breathe, pathetically sinking to the floor. Nathan couldn't have meant those words, could he have? But he sounded so…confident and cold hearted, much like how Damien talked.

"You were awfully protective of her." Haley heard Damien mutter.

She was torturing herself by listening. But it was like a car accident, no matter how terrible it got, she couldn't stop. Angry and hurtful tears burned in the back of her eyes, but she willed herself not to cry. What was happening…it couldn't be real. It just couldn't.

"Because I knew how much you wanted her," Nathan laughed. "You wanted her so damn bad and I knew if I wanted my chance to crack her, I had to be hardcore. Don't you remember how we used to compete over girls? I couldn't let you take such a big score away from me."

Haley felt physically sick. Her stomach was queasy and it took everything in her to not gag. The tears were threatening to spill out and she was quickly losing the battle to keep them in.

"I bet I could have gotten her in my bed."

Nathan laughed loudly. "You're not capable of the sweet talk Haley craves."

"Does this mean that I get to add her name to the list I got going in the pool house?"

That was it. She couldn't take it anymore. Usually all of her strength, she pushed herself up and off the floor. Hot tears poured down her cheeks, blurring her vision. She quickly tore his shirt off her body and began to frantically search for her clothes.

She needed to get out of there…now, before she really went crazy.

Nathan had just tainted one of the best nights of her life. She woke up this morning feeling refreshed and…happy. Now all she felt was dirty and worthless. How could he say those things? Was their whole relationship a lie? Memory after memory flashed through her mind and none of them brought her happiness. They were all tainted now. All of the times he held her, told her how amazing and beautiful she was, whispered about how she helped him through some of his darkest times…it was all just to get her in bed?

She could physically feel her heart break in chest.

She heard the front door of the apartment slam shut and that kicked her into gear to get dressed faster. Frantically, she pulled her jeans up her legs and tossed her shirt over her head. She didn't see her bra anywhere and right now, she didn't care.

"Oh, you're awake."

The sound of his voice caused a new wave of tears to pool in her eyes. Her fingers clenched into tight fists as he body tenses. She suddenly felt him behind her and before he could wrap his arms around her waist, she whipped around.

"Don't you dare touch me!" Haley barked, a few more tears trailing down her cheeks.

Nathan stumbled backwards. A look of clear shock was on his face. "Baby, what's.., what's wrong?"

Haley could have slapped him for his attempt at playing confused and concerned. She couldn't even look in his eyes without feeling sick.

"Don't act like you care," She cried. "I'm just another girl for you to add to your list of conquests."

His face fell pale. "Hales—"

She shook her head. "You put on quite a show. Congratulations, Nathan."

With that, she brushed passed him and headed out of his apartment. She could hear him calling after her and it only caused her tears to fall faster. The only clear thought in her head was that maybe she should have listened when everyone told her to stay away from Nathan Scott.


	24. Chapter 24

To answer the reviewer's confusion about what terms Nathan and Damien are on now: I've kept it vague intentionally. The next few chapters are very telling about Nathan's past and will fill in some of the blanks!

School does start back up for me this week. I can't really determine what my posting schedule is going to be like, because I'm not sure what my work load is going to be like this semester. I'm not taking that many credits this semester, so I'm hoping that I won't be super busy. Although, I thought that last semester and it was my busiest semester to date. So, we'll have to see, lol. I promise that I won't abandon this story, but my school work does come first. Thank you all for your continued support!

P.S. I know I kind of brushed over the basketball game in this chapter and I apologize. Writing scenes for a sport that I don't really know much about is extremely difficult for me. I didn't want to torture myself, nor did I want to torture you all. It's too bad OTH wasn't about baseball...that I could write about.

* * *

Nathan couldn't take his eyes off of Haley.

She was sleeping peacefully on his chest. Her hair was a heap of curls, messy and knotted from his fingers tangling between the strands. Her body was pressed as tightly as physically possible to his side, with one of her hands resting over his heart. A single sheet was draped over her lower body, stopping at the small of her back.

The sight of her was hell on the heart. She looked so peaceful—the muscles in her face were completely relaxed and her breathing was steady. Her skin seemed to be shimmering, like a million little diamonds were embedded in her flesh.

It was unreal how beautiful she was. Every single inch of her was perfect, inside and out. She was an angel and she…she loved him. He still couldn't wrap his head around that and he wasn't sure that he ever would. He couldn't think of a single thing that he'd ever done that made him worthy enough to be loved by her.

He wasn't going to question it, though. There wasn't much in his life that made sense, but everything about her and how she made him feel made complete sense.

Nathan was trailing his fingers over the bare curve of her spine, revealing in how soft and warm her skin was. There was a lightness in his heart that he'd never experienced before. Despite all of the shit going on in his life, last night was one of the greatest nights of his life.

His past was cluttered with things he wasn't proud of and one of those things was his sexual history. He'd spent countless nights sharing beds with nameless and faceless girls. A majority of those encounters only occurred because he was wasted out of his mind, and because of Damien's encouragement. Those girls were just a way to pass the time or just means for him to get off.

With Haley…it was so much more. He'd never experienced the types of feelings he felt when he was with her—the addicting way her delicate skin felt gliding against his, how exhilarating it was to feel her nails digging into his back, the fire that burned through him when he heard her whimper his name, and the way his heart pounded in his chest at the emotions he found flashing in her eyes.

It was so overwhelming, but it also meant everything.

A loud banging on his front door had him breaking out of his thoughts and had a perplexed expression forming on his face. Glancing over at his alarm clock, his eyebrows furrowed further. It was only six in the morning and he knew that Lucas had spent the night over his mom's house, so it wasn't him.

When the banging persisted, Nathan slowly slid from underneath Haley, careful not to wake her. He quickly threw on a pair of shorts and headed towards the front door. As soon as he opened the door, he wished that he never had. Every single muscle in his body became taut with fear and anger.

Damien stood in the doorway with a sickening evil smirk on his face. His eyes sat low and were rimmed red—signs that he was clearly high on something, most likely a narcotic. His clothes were trashed and he reeked of alcohol. He was most likely coming down from a night of partying, per usual.

Nathan straightened his posture and cleared his throat. He could feel his body want to shake with the fear coursing through his veins, but he tried to fight it off as much as he could. If Nathan was going to suffer at the hands of someone like Damien, he wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing his fear.

"Good morning," Damien slurred. He didn't wait for Nathan to answer or to even open the door wider before he just forced himself inside the apartment.

Nathan clicked his jaw as he closed the front door. A few seconds ago, he was on cloud nine. He was the happiest he's ever been. Now, reality had set back in and it felt even worse than before.

"Nice black eye," Damien laughed. "Oh, and that hickey on your chest…niiiice. I hope you enjoyed your last slut."

"Can I help you with something?" Nathan asked sharply.

Damien swiveled around and laughed chillingly. He spoke loudly…angrily. "Help me? Oh, no, I think you've helped me enough."

Nathan swallowed hard. "Then, what do you want?"

Damien strolled around Nathan's apartment. It seemed like he was trying to commit the place to memory or like he was searching for hidden treasure. He trailed his fingers over the side of the side of the couch, before peaking behind the cushions. He then moved to the kitchen, surveying the magnets and pictures on the fridge.

"I've been racking my brain for the last 24 hours," Damien began. The tone of his voice let Nathan know that he was about to give one of his infamous speeches. "I've been trying to figure out the perfect way to repay you for your…transgressions. There aren't many options, ya know? Your parent's already dead."

Damien's sick smile made Nathan's stomach churn. He could feel the bile rising in his throat, but he forced it down. He couldn't let Damien get to him. His jaw locked into place and he tried to keep his face as stoic as possible.

"I really only have three choices," Damien continued to recount. "My only problem is that I'm not sure which one would hurt you the most. I supposed I could make you pick…."

Nathan's fists involuntarily clenched as his heart lurched in his chest. He'd seen Damien be ruthless and cruel way too many times to count, but he'd never seen him this…malevolent. The look in his eyes was one that was inherent of the devil.

 _Come on, Nathan, think. Find a way to get yourself out of this._

"There's Lucas—your brother. You'll probably keep fucking up, so I could just eliminate the entire Scott line. One by one."

Nathan could feel his anger rising to exceptional levels. His heart was slamming in his chest and his eyes kept darting to his room. If Haley woke up and came out into the living room…he couldn't even finish that thought.

"There's also Jake—the best friend since childhood. Ya know, I never did like that prick. He's way too high and mighty for me. I could have fun with that."

Damien was moving again. His walk was slow and deliberate. It made Nathan nervous.

"And then there's…"

Damien trailed off and he stopped walking. His gaze was locked on something and Nathan's heart dropped to his stomach when he realized what it was. A sweat broke out on his skin and every hair on his body was electrified.

Damien slowly turned around and the sadistic smile on his face almost brought Nathan to his knees. "I think we have a winner."

Nathan didn't have time to think or to debate with himself. He bolted over to his bedroom door and pulled the door closed. "That's not what it looks like."

Damien laughed cynically. His smirk never left his face. "It looks like you got lucky last night, that's what it looks like. She give you that hickey? Damn, I knew she was a little freak. I always knew that Haley James was something special to you."

Nathan's world felt like it was shattering into a million pieces, yet again. The panic surged through him like an electric current submerged in a pool of water. He knew that look of rancor in Damien's eyes. He knew it well. One of his biggest fears were about to happen in real time and he knew he wouldn't survive that pain or guilt.

Losing Haley at the hands of his own stupidity…it would kill him.

"She's not," Nathan blurted out. Denial was his only option. He just had to be convincing enough.

Damien snorted as he dragged his disgusting body over to one of the bar stools. He sat down and leaned heavily against the counter. "You really expect me to believe that?"

Nathan remained stationary as he mulled over his next choice of words. He was hit with an idea and it was…brutal. It could be impossible to pull off, but he didn't have any other choice. He didn't have time to think of another option. He could work Damien, tell him all the things that he wanted to hear; things that he thrived on and built pride on. It wouldn't solve all of his problems, but it would buy him some more time.

He took in a shaky breath of air. He was like Damien, once upon a time. He wore that same smirk and that same lifeless glare. All he had to do was channel his past self—the same version of him that Damien had been convinced still lived and thrived inside of Nathan.

Dulling that light in his eyes, Nathan stepped forward and met Damien's beseeching gaze.

"Damien, you said so yourself—we're one in the same. We both love going after the innocent ones, because it gives us power. It's a type of satisfaction that we don't get from anything else," Nathan said, forcing a sick and twisted smile on his face.

Damien's ears seemed to perk up at the change in Nathan's demeanor. He eyed him curiously. "And you're telling me that Haley was just one your conquests?"

The next thing Nathan was about to say was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do. He could already feel the ache in his chest.

"Haley means absolutely nothing to me."

Good, God, that left a sour taste in his mouth. Was it possible to break your own heart?

The skepticism was clear on Damien's face and Nathan knew he had to lay it on thick to break himself free.

"Come on, you know how girls like her can be. They're not just going to drop their panties after a few smooth lines. You gotta win them over—wipe their tears when they cry, whisper sweet nothings in their ear, buy them meaningful gifts, promise them the world. It's a fucking chase, but the payoff is so goddamn worth it."

Damien narrowed his eyes, but a small smile was starting to form on his lips. "You were awfully protective of her."

"Because I knew how much you wanted her," Nathan forced himself to laugh. He was on the cusp of something big. He could feel it. "You wanted her so damn bad and I knew that if I wanted my chance to crack her, I had to be hardcore. Don't you remember how we used to compete over girls? I couldn't let you take such a big score away from me."

Damien remained silent and Nathan's heart threatened to beat out of his chest. Damien's face was void of any expression and his eyes were as black as night. Nathan couldn't gauge what he was thinking and that made him so unbelievably nervous.

He needed Damien to believe him. He needed this _one_ thing to go right for him.

"I bet I could have gotten her in my bed," Damien finally mumbled after a long stretch of silence.

Nathan felt the giant weight resting on his shoulders slide right off. Damien's expression was still cold and tactless, but the malicious edge was gone. He could breathe again…for now.

Nathan coerced a dry laugh. "You're not capable of the sweet talk Haley craves."

Damien rolled his eyes and planted another smirk on his face. This one was different. It wasn't evil…it was lighthearted, something Damien was surprisingly capable of. "Does this mean that I get to add her name to the list I got going in the pool house?"

Nathan's throat sealed shut at the vision of Haley's name being carved into Damien's list of "whores." Her name didn't belong on that list and it killed him that everything they'd been through had been reduced to something as sick-minded as that.

He couldn't give Damien a clear answer and luckily, it didn't seem like he wanted one.

Scooting off the rickety bar stool, Damien headed towards the front door. Before opening it, he turned around and gave Nathan a hard glare. "You might have gotten lucky this time, but this isn't over, Scott. Not by a long shot. I'll figure out your weakness. I always do."

As soon as the door closed behind Damien, Nathan collapsed against the counter. He breathed in deeply, fighting to regain control of his body and his emotions.

He walked back into his room and his eyebrows shot up when he saw Haley frantically moving around. It was like she was in a desperate hurry to get away from something…or someone. There was panic radiating off of her and in turn, he began to panic.

Was she regretting what happened between them the previous night? God, he hoped not.

"Oh, you're awake," He said shakily.

Haley froze at the sound of his voice and a bad feeling infested itself in the pit of his stomach. She was visibly shaking and a million thoughts started racing through his mind. She regretted last night, she had to of. That was the only reason he could think of that would have prompted her to be acting like this.

It was only six-thirty in the morning and his day was already absolute shit.

He took a few steps closer to her and frowned when she tensed further.

"Don't you dare touch me!"

She whirled around and the wild look of despair in her eyes had him stumbling backwards. There were tears streaming down her cheeks and it felt like someone punched him in the gut.

The look in her eyes…it was unbearable. He'd never seen someone look at him with such hate and heartache.

"Baby, what's…, what's wrong?"

She looked at him in disbelief.

"Don't act like you care," She cried. "I'm just another girl for you to add to your list of conquests."

He could have died of a heart attack right then and there. He felt his body turn cold as all the blood drained from his face. She heard every word that he'd told Damien, unintentionally breaking her heart.

"Hales—"

She shook her head and her painful glare sliced through him. "You put on quite a show. Congratulations, Nathan."

Nothing, not even the death of his parents, prepared him for the pain that tore through him at watching Haley walk out his bedroom door.

~x~

"Are you ready for the game tonight?" Lucas asked while bouncing a basketball against the asphalt. The sun was sitting low in the sky, casting a warm and eerie glow over the River Court. They only had about an or so before they had to report to the gym for warm-ups.

"I hadn't really thought about it," Nathan mumbled honestly. He clapped his hands together and motion for Lucas to toss him the ball, which he did seconds later.

Nathan supposed that he should have been a nervous mess about his first time really back on the court. There was a lot of buzz going around Tree Hill about his "comeback." Most people couldn't believe it, while others were cheering "finally!" There was a lot of pressure on this game, even if it was just an exhibition game—a lot of expectations and a lot of curious eyes. It was bound to be packed house tonight.

But he wasn't nervous at all. In fact, he felt nothing…absolute numbness, about the game, anyway. His head was too fucked up, too clouded with painful memories from this morning. He couldn't focus on anything, especially basketball. Nothing really seemed to matter, except Haley.

He saw reminisce of her crying eyes everywhere he looked and it was agony. Every inch of him felt like it was slowly being pulled apart and shredded into millions of pieces.

As soon as he got to school, he searched everywhere for her. He needed to find her to…explain. He wasn't sure how he was going to explain what had happened. All he knew was that he needed to fix what happened. Unfortunately, she was nowhere to be found.

Nathan never meant for Haley to hear those words. He never meant to hurt her. The hateful things he told Damien were the furthest thing from the truth. He was playing the game of survival and falling into Damien's mindset was the only chance at winning he had. His victory meant nothing if it meant losing Haley.

"That's a surprise," Lucas snorted. "I prepared at least ten pep talks last night and I still didn't think that was enough."

"I fucked up," Nathan blurted out as he tossed the basketball towards the basket. Swiftly, it sailed through the net before bouncing against the concrete.

"What did you do now?" Lucas said with humorless chuckle as he chased after the basketball. He reached it before it rolled onto to the grass. Picking it up, he held it against his side as he turned to face Nathan.

"I lost the best thing that's ever happened to me," Nathan lamented with a sigh.

Lucas paused at the doleful sound of Nathan's voice. It was then that he noticed just how beat up Nathan looked. It had been quite a long time since Nathan looked _this_ shattered. He had dark circles under his eyes, much darker than normal. The life in Nathan's eyes, the same one that he'd been slowly gaining back, was gone. His hair was disheveled and his skin was pale.

"Talk to me, Nate," Lucas said seriously.

Nathan let out a heavy sigh before walking over to the bleachers and plopping his body down on the bottom row. He rested his elbows on his knees and nervously began to rub the palms of his hands together. Saying the words out loud was going to hurt like a bitch. "Last night, Haley and I kind of got into a fight. In the middle of the fight, Haley…uh, she told me she was in love with me."

Lucas' eyes widened before narrowing in confusion. "That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"I'm not finished," Nathan grumbled. "Things ended up escalating from there and we…we slept—we made love for the time."

Lucas' confusion only grew.

"Wait, wait, hold up," Lucas tossed his hands in the air, his palms facing outwards. The sound of the basketball bouncing against the concrete lost in the intensity of the conversation. "Two things—still not seeing what's so terrible about what happened and since when does Nathan Scott use words like 'make love.'"

"Since I realized it was possible for me to actually fall in _love_ ," Nathan said sincerely.

"Wow, I never thought I'd see the day."

"It's crazy, man," Nathan mumbled, the rubbing of his hands only seemed to increase. He was never good at expressing his feelings, but talking about Haley seemed like the easiest thing in the world.

"She smiles and I swear I can't breathe. When she laughs, my body tenses at the thought of never hearing it again. If we argue, my throat burns like I just downed a fifth of vodka. I never thought I could feel so safe and so at ease just by holding her in my arms or by touching her hand. I never really did think much about the future until she came along, now it's all I can think about."

Lucas stared at Nathan, an expression of bewilderment on his face. Never in his life had heard Nathan talk like that, especially about a girl. It both shocked him and made his heart soar. The way his eyes lit up, the way he smiled…it was a side of Nathan he had never seen before. He found that he liked this side of Nathan. It was the most alive he had ever looked.

"You're crazy in love with her," Lucas concluded.

Nathan placed his head in hands before running both of his hands through his hair. He let out a heavy breath of air. "God, I am and it scares me to death."

Lucas flashed a sad smile as he took a seat next to Nathan on the bleachers. "So, where does the 'I fucked up' fit in with all of this?"

Nathan swallowed roughly. "Damien stopped by this morning."

"I do not like where this is going already."

Nathan gave a quick nod. "He saw Haley lying in my bed and I could see that look in his eye. It was like he figured out the perfect way to hurt me and that was by hurting Haley. I panicked and I didn't know what else to do. I kind of told him that it was all about sex and that she didn't mean anything to me. Haley, uh, she heard the entire conversation."

Lucas jumped up from the bleachers, his eyebrows furrowed. He clenched his fists at his sides. "So, let me get this straight, Haley tells you that she loves you, you sleep together, and then the next morning she over hears you tell Damien that you were just trying to get her into bed?"

Nathan nodded sheepishly. With the way that Lucas was looking at him and with the way the guilt and heartache were eating him alive, he just wished something would fall from the sky and crush him.

"Did you at least tell her that you loved her back?"

Nathan shook his head. "When she admitted that to me, I was so in shock that I just, I don't know. I guess in that moment, I was so wrapped up in the fact that she loved me that I couldn't focus on anything else. I should have told her. My biggest regret is not telling her."

"You're a dick," Lucas growled, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You think I don't know that?" Nathan glowered. There was an accusing tone to Lucas' voice and that felt like another crack in his heart. "You know I'm not like that, Luke. I would never use a girl for sex, especially one like Haley. Of course, I wanted her but it was never about that with us. It was the first thing that popped into my head when Damien started his shit. You know how he is and I just got scared. It felt like it was the only way I could buy myself more time."

"Do you try explaining that to Haley?"

"She, kind of, left in a hurry, not that I blame her," Nathan mumbled. "You should have seen the way she looked at me. I broke her heart and I don't think there's any way to fix this. You know, I thought I was finally moving forward in my life, away from that person I used to be. And now…"

Lucas ran a set of fingers through his hair and took a calming breath. It was obvious just how much this all was affecting Nathan and as much as he wanted to place the blame solely on Nathan, he knew the power that Damien had over him.

"You need to tell her…everything, Nathan," Lucas asserted. "I get that you're scared and you think that you're protecting her by not telling her, but I don't think you have a choice in the matter anymore, not if you don't want to lose her."

"I don't think she wants to hear it. Besides, Damien—"

"Fuck, Damien," Lucas snarled. "I know I've been hard on you when it comes to him and I know how dangerous Damien can be. But, you can't keep letting him control your life. You're letting him win by giving him control. You deserve to be happy, Nathan. And what you have with Haley? That's worth fighting for. Most people go their wholes lives without feeling what you just described to me. You can't let that go."

Nathan knew that Lucas right. "Do you think she'll forgive me?"

Lucas exhaled deeply. "Honestly, I have no idea. It sounds like you hurt her pretty badly. Bu what I do know is that you need to fight for her—prove to her that what you feel for her is real."

~x~

"I can't believe this," Brooke muttered as she dropped down on the bench in the locker room. Her mouth was still dropped open in shock.

"I don't even know what to say," Peyton sighed, frowning.

Haley's fingers nervously picked at the hem of her cheer skirt. Her chest felt heavy with affliction and it was taking all of her strength to not crumble into pieces.

Brooke and Peyton had been flabbergasted by what Haley had told them. They immediately thought it was some kind of sick joke. Haley thought for sure she was going to throw up when she told them that it wasn't. This all felt like some twisted nightmare that she was begging to wake up from.

"Tutor Girl, don't take this the wrong way, but are you absolutely sure you didn't, maybe, hear the conversation out of context? I mean, Damien is like Nathan's biggest enemy. Maybe there's more to the story," Brooke tried to reason.

Haley wasn't sure and that was her biggest problem. She wasn't sure of _anything_. It was so easy to believe in the bad, because there wasn't much good.

For weeks, even months, Haley had pushed aside Nathan's tendency to shut her out. She ignored all the times he would keep her from something. She thought she was doing something good by allowing him to open up to her at his own pace. That had clearly turned around to bite her in the ass.

She _wanted_ to have faith in Nathan. She _wanted_ to believe that things he told Damien weren't true. The fact of the matter was that there was so much Haley didn't know about Nathan. He kept so many parts of him hidden from her, lock and key.

How was she supposed to act like she hadn't heard all of those hurtful things? How was she supposed to find justification for them when there was a whole other side of Nathan that she didn't know?

She opened her heart up to him and now…

"He didn't say it back," Haley croaked, completely disregarding Brooke's previous words. Her throat was closing up again and she could feel the tears burning in the back of her eyes. She had cried so much in the last twelve hours. She didn't think she had any tears left.

Peyton glanced up from tying her tennis shoes with a look of concern. "What?"

She quickly wiped away the single tear that had started to trail down her cheek. "I told him that I love him and he didn't say it back. That's what makes this so hard. He—"

Haley couldn't speak anymore. The pain in her chest had taken over. Her body was quaking as she fought to control the tears spilling from her eyes. Brooke and Peyton were instantly at her side, trying their best to console her.

"Oh, Haley," Brooke cooed, rubbing a hand up and down her back. "I'm so sorry."

"It hurts…so much," Haley cried through gasps of air. "I've never…this…it's unbearable."

"Just let it out," Peyton coaxed her. She was sitting on the other side of Haley, rubbing her arm soothingly.

"He…he means everything to me," Haley declared. Her throat was burning and it felt impossible to breathe. She'd never experienced a pain like this before. "I fell in l-love with a _lie_."

Brooke glanced at Peyton with a heartbroken gleam in her eye. They both felt completely helpless.

"Haley." Brooke coaxed Haley to look at her. Once she did, she gently wiped the tears away from her cheeks. "I know what Nathan said and didn't say, but there is not a doubt in my mind that you're missing something here. I've seen the way Nathan is with you…the way he looks at you. There's no way he could fake something like that."

"Yeah," Peyton agreed. "I've seen Nathan do some pretty messed up things, but I don't think he's capable of something like that. His feelings for you run deep."

Haley shook her head in disbelief. She wanted to believe in what they were saying, but it was like a stone wall had formed around her heart. "You…you didn't hear the way h-he said it."

Brooke slid off the bench and crouch down in front of Haley. She grabbed both of her hands and squeezed them gently. "Shh, it's okay, Haley, just breathe. You're gonna get through this, okay? Peyton and I are going to help you."

Peyton squeezed Haley's shoulder and brushed the hair out of her face. "Yeah, we will. It might not seem like it right now, but everything's going to be okay. We'll figure this out."

Haley hiccupped as she tried to calm down her crying. Everything was a kaleidoscope of colors from her tears blurring her vision. She couldn't imagine her pain ever subsiding, but she didn't have the strength to argue with them on it.

Brooke smiled gently as she brushed her thumbs over the tops of Haley's hands. "Look, we just gotta get through this game and then we'll go back to my place. I'll order a pizza. I'll get buckets of ice cream. And I'll rent every rom-com known to man. We'll have a girl's night to get your mind off of things, okay?"

Haley could only sniffle and nod.

~x~

Searing and unbearable pain cut through her the second she laid eyes on him. She felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. She knew the next time that she saw him, it was going to feel like a bullet in the heart. That's why she tried to avoid him as much as she could.

He was on the opposite end of the gym, decked out in the black and blue Raven's warm-ups. He looked like hell, with his messy hair and droopy eyes. For some reason that made her sadness shift into anger. What the hell did he have to be upset over? She was the one who was lied to. She was the one who had her heart ripped out of her chest. As far as she was concerned, he had no right.

Haley's heartbeat came to a screeching halt when Nathan suddenly looked her way. Their gazes locked and she felt like she couldn't breathe. The best thing for her to do would have been to just look away, but she couldn't. The magnetic field between them was still intact and she hated every minute of it.

Nathan's walk slowly decreased in speed until he was completely frozen. Every instinct in his body was telling him to run over to her, pull her into his arms, and kiss the daylights out of her. It hadn't even been a full twenty-four hours and he already felt like he was dying without her warm touch.

It didn't help that she looked absolutely amazing in her cheerleading uniform. Her lean legs were on display beneath the short skirt and her curly hair was styled in a perfect high pony-tail. Not being able to touch her was surely going to kill him.

She felt sick as memories flashed through her mind—every passionate kiss, every gentle touch of his hand, every loving whisper, and every soothing hug. Before, those memories would bring a smile to her face, now they all felt dirty and tainted.

The buzzer signaling the start of the game had Haley breaking their eye contact.

Nathan felt another crack form in the root of his heart. Sighing heavily, he ripped his warm-up jacket off his body and tossed it on the bench. He walked towards center court, but never once took his eyes off Haley.

"You've got this," Jake told Nathan as they waited for the referee to blow the whistle.

Nathan shakily smiled.

The whistle blew and both teams were in action. In a matter of seconds, the ball was in Nathan's hands. He attempted to dribble it down the court, but he caught Haley's gaze again. He fumbled a little and the opposing player easily stole the ball from Nathan.

So, it was going to be one of _those_ games.

Brooke knocked her elbow into Haley's. "How are you holding up, Haley?"

"I just don't want to think anymore," Haley muttered tiredly. She ran a shaky hand through her hair. "I don't want to feel. I just…I want it to go away."

Brooke's lips curled into a smirk. "I think I have something that'll help with that."

~x~

The pounding on his apartment door was relentless. Tiredly, he ran a hand over his face as he walked over to the door. This day had been absolute shit. The Ravens had ended up losing their game, mostly because Nathan couldn't stop glancing over at Haley. He'd missed the basket and dropped the ball way too many times.

His teammates were pissed and if the circumstances were normal, he would have been beating himself up over it.

Not even bothering to look through the peephole, he un-did the lock and swung it open. Before Nathan could fully register who was standing there, a body brushed past him, almost knocking him over in the process. The sweet smell of vanilla immediately clouded his senses.

Haley.

Nathan felt his heart begin to race as he slowly turned to face her. The first thing he noticed was how flushed her face was. Her cheeks, her neck, and the top of her chest were dusted a rosy pink color. Her blonde hair was messy as if she had just spent the last twenty minutes yanking on it. Her eyes were bloodshot and glossed over, dark circles coating underneath them. She was having a hard time standing still, her body wobbling as she stared back at him.

She was drunk. Haley never drank…at least, she never drank enough to get drunk. There was a pang in his chest at the sight of her. That stupid little voice in the back of his head began to taunt him. _Haley drank because of you. She's drunk because of you._

"What are you, uh, what are you doing here?" Nathan asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had formed.

"I'm here to give you exactly what you want," Haley mumbled, her words slurring together. She brought her hands down to the hem of the black tank-top she was wearing before swiftly pulling it over head. Tomorrow, she would most likely regret her actions. She knew that this wasn't her but she stopped caring. All she felt was numbness, completely and utter numbness. She could thank the alcohol in her system and Nathan for her attitude.

Confusion marred Nathan's features as he tried his hardest to keep his eyes trained on Haley's face, instead of her bra clad chest. He swallowed thickly. "Ha-Haley what are you talking about?"

Haley closed the distance between them and the very small part of her sober brain that was still functioning was screaming at her to leave right now. Unfortunately for that version of her, drunk Haley had a different agenda. Her small hands landed on his chest and her fingers began a slow dance across the firm planes. "You said it was all about sex…"

His body was reacting to her caresses in the only way it knew how and he hated it, especially since her voice was laced with pain. Closing his eyes, he took a calming breath before halting her movements. "Hales—"

She snatched her hands out of his grip and pressed her body flush against his, causing what he was about to say to hitch in his throat. She looked up at him through her eyelashes and felt her heartbeat begin to hammer in her chest. "Fuck me." Those words burned in the back of her throat, leaving a sour taste in her mouth. She physically felt her heart break but she wasn't going to back down now.

Nathan's mouth felt dry at her words and not in a good way. The way she was looking at him…it tore his heart to pieces. This wasn't Haley and it killed him to know that he was reason she was acting this way. In one quick motion, he distanced himself from her, walking further into his apartment and towards the kitchen. Swinging open the fridge, he grabbed a bottle of water before handing it to her. "Here, drink this. It'll help you sober up."

Sober Haley probably would have thought that gesture was sweet but it caused a fury of anger in Drunk Haley. She rolled her eyes at him and marched over to where he was standing. Using all of her strength, she pushed him backwards until his back collided with the fridge. Repeating her earlier actions, she grinded her body against his. "Stop trying to act all noble. If all you wanted me for was sex, then here you go."

She was pressing against him in such a delicious manner and Nathan ignored the spark of desire he felt flowing his veins. He needed to remain in control. He shook his head vigorously, gripping her waist tight in his hands to still her movements. "Haley, stop. You don't want this. _I_ don't want this. Not like this."

Haley glared at him, the fire alight in her dark brown eyes. Without hesitation, she slipped her hand underneath the elastic band of his basketball shorts and wrapped her hand around him. "Looks like a part of you wants this," She purred perfectly. "Come on, Nathan. You spew all this shit about being the bad guy, so here's your chance to prove it."

Despite himself, he groaned, his eyes falling shut. Her small hand felt so good working him over like she was and he could feel his self-control waning thin. He couldn't let Haley do this. It was wrong and he would rather never see her again than take advantage of her. Gathering up all of his self-control he had left and the love he had for her, he pried her hands off his body. Pushing her up against the nearest wall, he held her hands above her head, locking them in a tight embrace.

"Haley, baby, please stop," Nathan pleaded, breathlessly. "I'm not going to let you do this. This…this isn't you."

Before Haley even realized what was happening, the tears were streaming down in her face in hot streaks. Through her drunken haze and the tears, she could see the pain in Nathan's eyes. She wanted to fight back and to yell at him but all the adrenaline she had been feeling moments before was gone. All she felt now was a deep pain in her heart, threatening to swallow her whole.

"How could you do this me?" Haley sobbed. "How could you do this to us? I gave you _everything_. I gave you every part of me."

In that moment, Nathan hated himself more than he thought possible. The pain in Haley's eyes and the anguish in her voice…it tore him to pieces. He felt his own eyes fill with tears and it took everything in him to not fall to the ground. His biggest fear was hurting Haley and of course, that's exactly what he did. He felt his throat close up and he just wanted to disappear.

Eventually, Haley's legs gave out and her tired body collapsed into Nathan's chest. She buried her head in his chest, her sobs tearing through her body painfully. She couldn't stop crying and she didn't care that she was in the arms of the person who was the reason for her tears. All she wanted was for the searing pain in her chest to go away.

Out of habit and instinct, Nathan wrapped his arms around Haley's shaking body and held her close. With every minute that passed, his grip on her tightened, almost like he was hoping that the tighter he hugged her, the more he was able to take her pain away. His eyes were squeezed shut and his breathing was hard. Every beat of his heart felt like a bullet ricocheting through his chest.

It felt like hours had passed before Haley quieted down and she fell limp in his arms. He looked down to see that her eyes were closed and her breathing had evened out. The alcohol must have finally caught up with her or she cried herself to sleep. Nathan prayed for the former, but knew it was the latter. His heart ached at the thought. Carefully, he lifted her up and held her bridal style. His heart lurched when she involuntarily buried herself further into his chest.

Laying her down on his bed, he took note of the fact that she was still in only her bra, jeans, and heels. He walked over to his closet and grabbed one of his Duke t-shirts. Walking back over to where Haley was sleeping, he gently lifted her up to slip his t-shirt over her head. Surprisingly, she remained asleep. Next, he moved down to her heels and slid them off her feet. Lastly, he unbuttoned her jeans and dragged them down her legs before tossing them to the side.

Sighing, Nathan took a seat at the edge of the bed. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

Haley was fast asleep. Tear tracks still marred her cheeks and worry lines were still etched into her features, but she was still so breathtaking. The urge to touch her was strong. He wanted nothing more than to slide into bed next to her and hold her in his arms. But he knew that she didn't want him touching her and that thought alone broke his heart.

"I love you," He whispered painfully to her sleeping figure. "It's insane how in love with you I am."

Nathan paused to regain his composure. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to tell her all this when she wasn't even awake to hear it.

"I'm so sorry, Haley. I'm just…I'm sorry."

Allowing himself one little touch, he brushed his fingers delicately across the skin of her cheeks. Her skin was warm and a wave of tingles spread through his body. The nagging voice in the back of his head was back, mocking with full throttle. _You better savor this moment now, Nathan. After all, this is most likely the last time you'll ever touch her._

God, he hated himself. That seemed to be his mantra now.

He couldn't stand looking at her anymore. The pain in his chest was becoming unbearable. Forcing himself up from his bed, he headed back into the kitchen. Swinging open one of the wooden cupboards, he grabbed a glass cup and the bottle of unopened whiskey. Popping the top, he tossed it haphazardly onto the counter and filled the glass. Hastily, he tossed the bottle back onto the counter, uncaring of the fact some of it spilled.

Bracing himself against the counter, Nathan stared down into the amber liquid. He could toss that glass down like it was nothing. He could drink himself into an oblivion, just like he had done so many times before. Alcohol was the easiest way to numb the pain.

But, he needed to stop being that person. Drinking himself into a drunken stupor wasn't going to doing anything but cause more trouble. He needed to be a better person…for himself and for Haley. She deserved better and his old habits didn't fall under that category. After everything that she's been through with her mom... Sighing heavily, he picked up the glass and poured the contents of it down the drain. He put the bottle of whiskey away and cleaned up the counter.

Dragging his beat-up body towards the couch, he draped himself over it. There was no way he was getting any sleep tonight.


	25. Chapter 25

Thank you all for your reviews to the last chapter! We are nearing the end of this story...kind of. If everything goes as planned, there's only about 5-6 chapters left, not including this one, plus an epilogue. Excuse me while I get a little emotional right now, but I can't believe that I'm almost finished with my second story about the magical couple that is Naley. Back when I first started writing about them, I didn't think I'd actually get through Razor Sharp, let alone two stories! Wow.

Secondly, I did post another one-shot called "Hungover in a Hotel Room" and I posted kind of a side project thingy that I'm working on called "Beautiful for a Moment." Soooo, if you're bored and you actually like my stories, then you should go check those out. I do have another multi-chaptered fic that I'm gonna post once I get finished with this. I'll include the summary to that story at the end of this chapter!

* * *

Everything hurt—especially her head. It felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to it and then repeatedly ran it over with a semi-truck. And the room felt like it was spinning, slowly…but still nauseating.

Haley glanced around Nathan's room as she rubbed at her temples. Her memory of the previous night was hazy, at best. She remembered going to Brooke's after the game. She'd barely made it through the front door before Brooke was pulling out her impressive stash of alcohol. Haley couldn't remember why she chose to drink, only that the burning liquid sliding down her throat seemed to numb the pain thrumming in her heart.

She remembered the torrid tears, her raspy throat as she croaked incoherent thoughts, and blurred images of sympathetic gestures from Brooke and Peyton. There might have been a small cat fight when Haley demanded that someone drive her to Nathan's apartment—one that she clearly won— but she couldn't recall the logistics of it.

A hot and deep pink blush arose on her cheeks when the next grainy memory flashed through her mind. The image of her ripping her shirt off in front of Nathan had her stomach feeling…queasier.

She propositioned him…for sex. She was crossed between being absolutely horrified with herself and absolutely angry with herself. What was she thinking?! Was she trying to self-destruct? God…

The last thing she remembered was laying on the algid tile of Nathan's bathroom, with her head in his toilet. Nathan's cool fingers had felt good against the damp skin of her neck as he held her hair back. His free had rubbed soothing patterns down her back. His soft voice had cut through her spinning head with whispers of soothing pleasantries.

Sighing, she ran her hands over her stomach. Her lips pulled downwards into a confused frown when she didn't feel the familiar fabric of her clothes beneath her fingertips. Looking down, she softened when she realized that Nathan must have changed her into something more comfortable.

Her head was spinning, again, but this time it wasn't because of her brewing hangover. Her chest felt heavy as she struggled to breathe. Tossing the blanket off of her suddenly sweltering body, she frantically searched his room for her clothes.

Nathan said it was all about sex, yet he denied her when she offered? Hell, he didn't even sleep in the same bed as her. He claimed that she was nothing but a pawn in a game, yet he'd taken such attentive care of her at her lowest?

She spent the entire night with a blank mind, just like she wanted. No confusing thoughts. No questioning whispers of her conscious. She was paying for that now. Her sanity was slipping away, as confusion and heartache filtered through her in heavy doses. She had to get out of there as fast as she could.

Quietly, she stepped out of Nathan's room. The apartment was quiet and seemingly undisturbed. Her eyes darted to Lucas' room and she held her breath when she saw his bedroom door was wide open. It was bad enough that she was during a much more pathetic version of the walk of shame. The last thing she needed was someone seeing her.

Peeking in his room, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Lucas fast asleep. That only fueled her to leave quicker.

Haley paused when she spotted Nathan sprawled out on the couch. Her heart jumped in her chest at the sight he made. His feet were dangling off the side and his body was twisted in a way that she knew couldn't have been comfortable. His sleep seemed restless, with his features creased and angry. His exhaustion was clear and the guilt hit her like a freight train.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she booked it in out of there.

~x~

Haley had barely closed the front door before Lydia was rounding the corner. She looked rattled, to say the least. Her eyes were wild with anger and a dash of concern. Haley braced herself for the reprimand she knew was coming.

"Where the hell have you been? The land of no cell-phones?! This is the second night in a row that you've disappeared. Now I know I've been lenient in the past and I know that—"

Lydia's tyrant comes to a screeching halt when Haley's appearance finally registered through her furious haze over her daughter's disappearance.

Haley's skin was sickly pale and her body was hunched over like she was in pain. Her clothes were messily thrown on, her shoes dangling from her trembling fingers. Black lines of make-up were streaked beneath her eyes—eyes, in which, were rimmed red with unshed tears. Her bottom lip was quivering, a sure sign that she was only seconds away from bursting into tears.

"Mom," Haley croaked, followed by a quiet sniffle.

Lydia was standing in front of her in a flash. Gently, she rubbed her fingers against Haley's cheek. The muscles in her face were crinkled in apprehension.

"Honey, what's wrong? Are you hurt? Did something happen?" Lydia rattled off while actively checking over Haley's body.

Haley couldn't find her voice. Instead her shoes dropped from her fingers and she collapsed in her mom's arms. Her body shook as the sobs ripped through her. She had willed herself over and over again not to cry, but there was something about her mom's warm touch and kind eyes that had brought the emotion in her out.

At this point, crying felt redundant. She felt like that's all she did anymore, but it was like she couldn't stop. The gaping hole in her chest was constantly thrumming with pain. She experienced that hole before when her mom was in the hospital, but something about it felt different. More painful.

"Shh, it's okay, honey. Just let it out," Lydia tried to relax Haley. She held her tight and soothingly rubbed her hands along the length of her back.

Time stretched on for what felt like hours, until her tears seemed to dry up. They somehow moved to the living room and were sitting on the couch, but Haley couldn't recall how she ended up there.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lydia asked as she brushed unruly hair out of Haley's face.

Haley didn't even have time to think before the words tumbled out of her mouth without any regard. She told Lydia everything—how she felt about Nathan, his basketball career, all of the secrets Nathan seemed to be keeping from her, what she knew about Damien and Nathan's past, their fight and what it led to, his hurtful words, and her drunk escapade. She never did have any reserves when it came to telling her mom things, and if she were being honest, she missed that bond with her.

Historically, her mom had the best advice. She used to be so level-headed and full of wisdom. Haley truly believed that Lydia still carried those attributes, despite her struggles.

Lydia listened to every word Haley said with earnest intensity. Once Haley finished explaining everything, Lydia seemed to mull over everything carefully.

"Why were you so quick to believe what Nathan was saying to this Damien character?" Lydia inquired. Her tone was soft and curious, rather than accusing or reprimanding.

Haley looked down at her hands and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't really know. It was a combination of things. He's kept me in the dark about so much, mom. I guess it was easier to believe in the things he _was_ saying, instead of the things he didn't say."

"Honey," Lydia cooed. She reached her hand out and grabbed Haley's shaking ones.

"And the way he said those…those things," Haley continued on as if Lydia hadn't spoken. "It was like someone had taken over his body. He sounded so cold and so full of hate."

"Maybe that's because the person saying those things _wasn't_ him," Lydia countered.

Haley glanced at her mom, confused. "Mom, it was his voice. It was him."

Lydia laughed quietly and gave a quick shake of her head. "That's not what I meant. To me, it sounds like Damien means something terrible to Nathan. They have some kind of history, correct?"

Haley nodded.

"Maybe he was playing a character to placate Damien. Maybe there was a reason, unbeknownst to you, as to why he was acting the way he was."

"Everyone keeps saying that," Haley mumbled.

"Well, maybe that's something you should consider."

Haley sighed heavily. She knew that her mom and her friends had a point. The Nathan that she knew and loved would have never said those things, at least she didn't think so. The seed of doubt that had planted itself inside of her had other ideas, though. She couldn't shake it and she hated that. Was love always this complicated?

"Have you talked to him about it, besides your little drunk charade? Have you given him a chance to explain?" Lydia prompted her.

Haley abashedly shook her head. Her cheeks burned at her mom's mention of what happened the night before, though.

"Haley."

This time her tone was accusing.

"There was just so much happening at once," Haley quickly began to explain. "It just all came crashing down on me—his sudden aloofness, telling him I love him, sleeping with him, Damien—it all got way too overwhelming, way too fast."

Haley could feel her throat beginning to close up again, so she paused. It took her a couple of seconds and a plethora of deep breaths before she could speak properly again.

"I've always felt in control of my life, even if I knew that I wasn't. I always felt sure and sensible. But this…it made all of that go away."

Lydia smiled gingerly. "I hate to say it, honey, but that's what love does. It throws you off balance."

"Lovely," Haley muttered sarcastically, causing Lydia to laugh.

Lydia wrapped an arm around Haley's shoulders and pulled her into a tight embrace. When Haley leaned her head on to Lydia's shoulder, she began to slowly caress her hair.

"Did you know that the reason your dad first asked me out on a date was because of a bet?"

Haley tilted her chin up. Her eyes were alight with astonishment. "What? No!"

Lydia pressed her lips together and nodded animatedly. "Yep. Your dad, bless his heart, was as competitive as they come. His asshole of best friend, Marty, came up with some game to see how many girls they could get to agree to go on a date with them in a month. Your dad bet that he could get, at least, ten."

Haley cringed inwardly. She'd heard countless stories about how Jimmy James was a "ladies man" when he was in high school. He wasn't an arrogant ass who slept around and broke hearts left and right, but girls _loved_ him. If she had to guess, it was because he always carried a guitar around with him and had the voice an of angel.

Her parents had always been consistent when it came to telling the story of how they met. They were high school sweethearts. They'd gone to school together since the seventh grade and had almost every class together their sophomore year of high school. That was also the year that her dad had asked her mom to go a local fair with him, and then the rest was history. This was the first time Haley had heard anything about a bet.

"I'm not sure I'm going to like this story," Haley mumbled sourly.

Lydia only squeezed her in response.

"I was just like every other girl at our school—madly in love with Jimmy James. The day he asked me out was the best day of my adolescent life. We'd been together almost a year, before I found out about the bet. I was crushed and genuinely believed that our entire relationship was a joke to him," Lydia recounted.

"How'd you eventually move past it?" Haley inquired

"It wasn't easy," Lydia admitted with a torturous sigh. "I didn't talk to him for weeks. I ignored all of his phone calls and told my mom to tell him that I wasn't home if he ever stopped by. I was angry and I was hurt.

"Eventually, it got to a point where I forgot why I was angry at him. I was still carrying around this hatchet for him, but I didn't know why. It all felt silly. I loved this man and I was denying myself the pleasure of being with him, because I was too prideful. I look back on that now, and I regret not trying to work it out sooner."

Haley wasn't aware she was holding her breath, until she heard a loud expel of breath brush past her lips. The pain and regret in Lydia's voice struck a chord inside of her.

"My point is that I know love is scary—opening yourself up to someone, giving them a part of you that no one else gets, giving them the power to hurt you, but trusting them not to, constantly being vulnerable—it's the scariest thing someone can do. It's also the most rewarding. You have to protect your heart, but not so much that it causes you to lose something amazing."

Haley felt lighter as Lydia's words cloaked her comfortably, like a warm blanket. Her only regret was not talking to her mom sooner. She probably wouldn't have made a fool of herself by showing up to Nathan's apartment, drunk. And she definitely wouldn't be nursing a terrible hangover.

"What are you saying, mom?" Haley asked.

"Talk to him," Lydia declared simply. "Find out his side of the story. I know he hasn't given you much of a reason to trust him and I'm not saying what he did or said was right, but you can't just shut him out. You can't just give up without a fight, especially with a love like you two have."

Haley exhaled deeply.

"That boy is crazy about you. I was doped up on sedatives and muscle relaxers the first time I met him, and I could still see the way he looked at you," Lydia jumped in quickly. "But, if it turns out that Nathan is a lying, using, dickhead, well then, I'll help you bury his body."

Haley genuinely laughed at that. A genuine smile spread across her face for the first time in a few days. Her mom was back.

"Aha! There's that laugh!" Lydia exclaimed. "You're going to be okay, Haley Bob. I promise."

"I really hope you're right."

~x~

The sound of the basketball bouncing against the polished floor echoed through the empty gym. Only one half of the court was illuminated by dim energy-saver lights and the bleachers had been pulled in. The old, steel molding creaked and rattled as the wind howled and whipped against the brick building.

His eyes scanned the vast room. Even in the subdued lighting, the waxed floor shined. Black scuff marks scarred the floor in littered areas, map markings of players' past. Pieces of popcorn and stray segments of forgotten trash still spotted the floor nearest the closed bleachers from the night before. He could almost hear the sound of shoes squeaking against the maple, drowned out by the snickers and disappointed grumbles the crowd had shot at him.

He expected those memories to slice through him and bring him to his knees with their accompanied self-loathing thoughts. They didn't. The pain they provided was dull, especially when compared to everything else he had weighing down on him.

Eventually, his eyes found the one thing he avoided looking at whenever he stepped foot in that gym—Dan Scott's framed jersey. It proudly hung on the farthest wall from him, decorated with plaques and surrounded by Tree Hill and North Carolina flags. The ache is heart bloomed even further, but so did a sense of tranquility. He looked at that jersey for guidance, like the northern star in a seaman's night sky.

He didn't look away until he felt his heart start to beat again.

The gym was eerie and not Nathan's first choice of scenery, but it provided exactly what he needed. Basketball was his escape. It provided him with clarity. It was kind of ironic how something that should've been bothering him was actually the one thing that improved his mood.

As soon as the echo of the bouncing leather had died down and he was left in deafening silence, his thoughts drifted back to Haley. Drifted was relative, because his thoughts had never really left her in the first place. He wasn't surprised, but still disappointed that she was long gone when he'd woken up this morning. A small part of him hoped that she would've stuck around and they could've talked.

There was so much that he wanted to tell her, so much that he wasn't sure where to begin. All he knew was that he had to fight for her.

He sighed deeply, a metaphorical attempt at trying to clear his mind. Shuffling his feet towards the discarded basketball, he grabbed it and spun it between his fingers a few times. Squaring his shoulders, he focused his eyes on the basket. He bounced the basketball a few times, before bending his knees and shooting the ball. It sailed through the net without a hitch.

"It's too bad that I didn't see any of that at the game."

Nathan glanced over his shoulder to see his coach walking slowly towards him. His hands were stuffed in the pockets of his khakis and a gray polo adorned his upper body. A black baseball cap rested loosely on his head. The usual knitted brow scowl was absent from his face, instead graced with a soft and sympathetic smile.

"Do you ever go home?" Nathan countered.

Whitey laughed his dry and hoarse laugh. "This _is_ my home. What about you? No Saturday plans?"

Nathan ran his fingers through his sweat sodden hair. "I needed to clear my head," He answered simply. Judging by the way Whitey's smile remained intact, he already knew why Nathan was there.

"That court down by the river not good enough anymore?"

"It was raining when I…," Nathan trailed off when Whitey's words fully registered in his head. He furrowed his eyebrows. "How do you know about the River Court?"

"I watched you play a few times down there," Whitey admitted as he shuffled closer to Nathan.

Nathan's eyes stretched in stupefaction. His mind started whirling through all the times he'd been down at the River Court, trying to remember seeing any glimpse of Whitey. "You have?"

Whitey nodded. "I made a promise Dan that I'd take good care of you. I don't break promises."

The corner of Nathan's mouth twitched into the slightest smile. "I think he meant as a part of the team, not in life."

Whitey's expression slipped into grave seriousness. "Maybe so. But son, you may have denounced basketball when your father died, but I never denounced you."

An unexpected bout of emotion exploded inside of Nathan. He cleared his throat, before speaking again. "Yeah, well, basketball seemed to have denounced _me_." His tone was meant to be teasing, but appeared bitter.

"I'm not sure I agree with you," Whitey grumbled. "From what I've seen, you're still just as talented."

Nathan snorted, a stint of mockery and self-deprecation. "Did you watch yesterday's game? You had to bench me before the end of the first quarter. I couldn't make the simplest shots and fouled out every chance I got."

"It's because you're thinking way too much," Whitey answered as if he'd just solved the world's greatest mystery.

"Funny, didn't you used to yell at me for _not_ thinking enough?"

"More times than I can count," Whitey chuckled dryly. As soon as his laugh ended, he was back to the stone-faced seriousness. "Look, Nathan, I'm not trivial to the gossip that spreads through this town. However, sometimes I can't escape it. I've heard what people are saying about you."

Nathan rolled his eyes, not at Whitey, but the never-ending notion of gossip centered around him. "I've gotten used to it."

Whitey continued as if Nathan remained mute. "You don't owe anybody, anything. You don't have anything to prove."

"If only that were true," Nathan sighed.

"It is," Whitey asserted. "When it comes to something that you love and something that you're good at, the only person who have to answer to is yourself."

Nathan chewed on the inside of his cheek. Whitey did have a point. As much as it had been pushed to the side, it did bother him that he had certain expectations he had to live up to, or he was going to be eaten alive. But his main problem on the court wasn't attributed to everyone else's issues with him, it was the issues he had with himself.

"I don't think—"

"And I know that, that blonde cheerleader has something to do with your cloudy head, too."

Whitey had completely thrown Nathan off guard. "What?"

"I might be old and my eyesight might not be the greatest, but I still saw those longing looks you were giving her yesterday. You were more focused on her, than you were the game," Whitey said lowly.

Nathan couldn't be sure, but it sounded like Whitey was admonishing him. His head drooped low in shame. "Coach, I'm sorry."

"Isn't that something you should be telling her? I mean, you are the one who screwed up, right?"

"What the hell? Are you like a mind reader or something?"

Whitey shook his head. An amused smile broke through his stoic features. "No, I've just been around the block a couple of times. I don't want to know what happened between the two of you. It's none of my business. But it brings me back to my point of 'you're thinking too much.' You know how therapeutic basketball can be, or else you wouldn't be in this gym right now. Use it to your advantage and let it help you."

"I'm not really sure I understand what you're saying," Nathan mumbled.

"I'm saying that life is only as complicated as you make it out to be and running from the things that help you is a cowardice move."

~x~

Haley sighed dejectedly at she stared blankly at her homework. She thought that by busying herself with history, she could escape her own thoughts. Unfortunately, two hours had gone by and there wasn't a single word written on her worksheet, not even her name.

On the bright side, her hangover seemed to have subsided. She had a dull headache, but with all the crying she had done the past few days that wasn't anything unusual.

For the millionth time in the last hour, she tried to focus her thoughts on the paragraph in front of her. When, for the millionth time, all the words blurred together, she tossed her pencil in aggravation and buried her fingers in her messy hair. There was no sense in continuing to torture herself.

Haley knew that her mom was right, and that was all she could think about. There were a lot of things she didn't know, and she wanted answers. She _deserved_ answers.

God must have been eavesdropping, because…

"Hey."

Haley's head shot up at the sound of his voice and her heart almost bungee jumped out of her chest. She slowly turned around to face him and sucked in a sharp gasp of air.

Nathan was hovering awkwardly in the doorway to her bedroom, like he wasn't sure if Haley was going to demand he leave or not. His shoulders were stiff and his hands cupped together in front of him. His hair looked damp, like he'd just gotten out of the shower. His clothes were rumpled, as if he'd rushed to her place in a hurry.

"Hi," She squeaked.

Haley didn't look angry or upset at his presence. She actually looked relieved. He treated that as a go-ahead to step further into her room.

"Uh, your mom…she let me in," Nathan quavered. "She told me to tell you that she's heading to the store."

Haley fought the urge to roll her eyes. She's almost certain Lydia made up the idea of having to go to the store as soon as she laid eyes on Nathan standing at their front door. Lydia's the only mother would leave her daughter alone with her boyfriend, willingly.

"Of course, she is," Haley sighed as she stood up from her desk. Slipping her hands in the pockets of her jeans, she chewed apprehensively on her bottom lip.

"How are you feeling?" He asked after a few restless pauses. He hates the awkwardness that has formed between them, but at the same time, he's thankful for it. The hostility between them was no longer present. It felt like a step in the right direction.

"Better," Haley murmured timidly. "Thanks for, err, taking care of me last night."

Nathan dismissed her thanks with a shake of his head. "You don't have the thank me, Hales."

A sliver slipped down her spine at the use of her nickname. His voice coated her skin a layer of goosebumps. She couldn't explain it, but there was just something about the way he said it.

"Still. Thank you."

Another awkward pause.

Nathan rubbed the back of his neck, as his eyes darted around her room.

Getting to her house was the easy part. After his talk with his coach, he had it set in his mind that he was going to try to fix things between them and he wasn't going to leave until she believed him. But that was before he was standing in front of her. Now, his stomach was in knots and that confidence had evaporated.

"I stopped by, because I was hoping we could talk?" Nathan finally managed.

He held his breath as he waited for her answer.

"Uh yeah, sure," Haley confirmed. God _really_ must have been listening.

"I'm sorry," Nathan started off with. It was lame and not even close to what he really wanted to say, but it was a start. "What you heard…it wasn't…I didn't—It's not what it sounded like."

Haley continued to chew on her lip as Nathan struggled to express his thoughts.

"I just…," He trailed off. He was clearly a mess of his own mind and he could only think to do one thing.

Before Haley could fully register was what happening, his hands were tangled in her hair and his lips were pressed against hers. The intensity of the kiss almost brought her to her knees. Her trembling fingers found their way to his shirt and she fisted the material, effectively pulling him closer.

Logically, she should have pushed him away and demanded that they talk. They couldn't just gloss over their problems by getting lost in each other. But _damn_ , if it didn't feel like heaven to kiss him again. It was…mind blowing, she wasn't sure how else to describe it.

Nathan eventually pulled away, but only far enough so their noses were brushing together. The tips of his fingers moved slowly against the sensitive skin behind her ear and along the edge of her jaw. Haley's eyes were still closed, dark eyelashes resting on porcelain skin.

His heart skipped a beat at the sight.

"I love you."

His voice was hoarse and shaky, but there was no mistaking the truth behind his words.

Haley's eyes popped open. The air was sucked out of her lungs when she saw his darkened eyes. She didn't know to respond to that. Anger, shock, and happiness made a hazy concoction that twisted through her veins.

"Nathan—"

He didn't give her a chance to protest or anything of the sort. He needed to get how he felt out now, or he feared he never would.

"I know I didn't say it before," Nathan murmured. "I should have."

"Why didn't you?" Haley finally managed to find her voice, albeit it was trembling.

His thumb brushed lightly over her cheekbone and down the curve of her lips. "Because when you told me that you love me, it was like my brain short circuited. I was…in shock. I couldn't believe that someone as perfect and gracious as you could love someone as jagged and corrupt as me."

Haley couldn't explain it, but she just knew that he meant every word he was saying. Nathan didn't talk about his feelings, so she figured it had to mean something when he did. Even if she did believe him, all couldn't be forgiven with an expression of love. There was still too much…mystery. Was she being greedy for wanting more? She couldn't decide.

Her mind was a jumble of things and she struggled to form a coherent thought.

Her silence made him anxious. Her expression was complexed—a mixture of bewilderment, complexity, and trepidation. It felt like a jab in his gut.

"What I said to Damien...," Nathan tried again. He cleared his throat, ridding it of the lump of emotion that had formed there. "I didn't mean any of it. I said what I needed to say in order to get Damien to back off. I did it to keep you safe. You…you weren't supposed to hear any of it."

"But, why?" Haley pondered ruefully…desperately. "Why do you have to keep me safe from Damien? What does he have on you?"

"It's…it's complicated."

The last put together piece of Haley cracked. She pulled away from him and it felt like a knife to her chest when she saw the dire hurt flash in his eyes.

"I can't, Nathan."

Her voice was quiet, a small and sheltered murmur of extensile pain. He could feel her pulling away from him and the panic almost swallowed him whole. He couldn't lose her like this. He couldn't lose her _at all_.

"Hales, please. You have to believe me," He begged, almost pathetically.

Her eyes were burning, but her body must have finally run out of tears.

"I don't know what to believe when there's some much I don't know."

"Believe that I love you," Nathan declared.

Everything in his world was turning at rapid speeds and he was willing to just about anything to make it stop.

"I believe that you love me, I do," Haley mumbled while running both of her hands through her hair. "I just can't brush this off like it's nothing. You hurt me, Nathan. Really bad."

Nathan inhaled sharply. He knew he had hurt her, but hearing the confirmation of it was almost too much to handle.

"I might know now that what you said was a lie, but I didn't at the time. You made me believe that a night that meant everything to be was some cheap encounter. You made me think that our entire relationship was just some crafted lie. And even knowing the 'truth', there's still so much that I don't know. I've been patient with you, I have. But this…I can't."

"What are you saying?" Nathan asked nervously.

"I need you to let me in, Nathan. All the way in. If not, I-I don't think I can do this anymore."

It was an ultimatum. A heady one that had his heart stopping in his chest. He was shocked to discover that the answer was clear. There was no confusion swirling around in his mind. There was no hesitation. If he let her all the way in, she would see him for who he really was and she could walk away from him. It would hurt like hell, but at least there was a chance she wouldn't. If he didn't let her in…

"Okay."

"Okay…?"

He stepped closer to her and his heart began to beat again when she didn't flinch away from him. Reaching up, he hesitantly placed his hand on her cheek. Her skin was warm and a shiver ran down his spine at the contact. His heart soared when she leaned into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed as he caressed her skin.

"I'll let you all the way in, if that's what it takes."

* * *

 _Coming Soon:_ **Hell on a Highway** -Working as detective in the criminal intelligence unit in the city of New York is dangerous enough as it is. But falling in love with your partner when they're engaged to someone else, the animosity between the two of you is record breaking, and in-house romances are strictly forbidden might just make things a little...riskier. Naley.


	26. Chapter 26

This might be self-explanatory, but I just wanted to point something out with this chapter, since it's something that I've never done before. The italics are flashbacks and the regular type is the present. Nathan is explaining to Haley events from his past, but I'm also showing you them in real time. Does that make sense? I don't really know how else to describe it and hopefully, I don't confuse y'all too much, haha.

This chapter was quite difficult to write if I'm being honest. There were so many emotions and so many pivotal moments. It didn't turn out exactly how I had pictured it in my head, and I'm okay with that, but that also makes me a little nervous. We're getting down to a lot of moments that I had pictured in my head prior to writing this story and kind of build a story around those pictures. That is definitely nerve-wracking for me, haha.

Trigger Warning: there are mentions of rape in this chapter. If that is something that is a trigger for you or makes you uncomfortable, I would suggest skipping over it!

* * *

Nathan and Haley were perched on Haley's bed. For the most part, Nathan appeared calm. He was trembling and a look of unease was on his face, but Haley expected him to be more…frantic. He was quiet for a long stretch of time, and she was starting to wonder if maybe he'd changed his mind.

Before she had time to entertain that thought, Nathan had reached for her hand. His calloused fingers brushed over the back of her hand, before encasing it completely. His skin felt clammy and heated against her own. It's then she noticed the serious glint in his eyes.

"I've never really said any of this out loud," Nathan stated softly. "I mean I have…just not like this."

"Take your time," Haley murmured quietly. She squeezed his hand, letting him know that she was there with him. The anxiety and fear was a raging storm on his face, and she could feel that same fear brewing in her chest. She'd be lying if she said wasn't afraid of the words that were about to come out of his mouth. She wholeheartedly believed that nothing he could say would change how she felt about him, but that did little to curve the panic.

Nathan breathed in deeply. In the back of his mind, he was always consciously aware of the fact that a day like this would come. He couldn't hide his past from Haley forever, albeit he wished that he could. He just hoped to God he didn't scare her off.

"I met Damien when I was freshman," Nathan started. His voice shook with every word and the pain burned wildly in his chest. Despite the horrible memories that flashed through his mind and despite the anguish, he found his words easily. He found that looking in Haley's eyes, which were wide and trusting, made it easier. She made everything easier.

"I heard the rumors about him—how he manipulated people, how he was involved with dangerous drugs, how people feared him. I think I feared him, too, that's why I could never distance myself from him."

Nathan paused to swallow down the lump that was forming in his throat. He could feel himself being transported back in time. The image of him shooting around on the River Court was crystal clear in his mind. He could almost feel the crisp night air brushing against his skin. If it wasn't for Haley's hand squeezing his, he would've believed he was transported back in time.

"I was shooting around at the River Court the first time I met him. He came out of nowhere, and I can still remember the chill that ran down my spine. He reeked of weed and he was higher than a kite. But there was this…this sharp look in his eyes and I wanted to run. I don't know why I didn't. I regret not running away when I had the chance."

Haley listened intently. The rhythm of her heartbeat increased with his every word.

"He asked to shoot around with me. It was like I physically couldn't say no," Nathan croaked. "So, we shot around for a while and I let myself get _comfortable_ around him. He didn't seem like the guy that everyone made him out to be. He…it was so stupid of me…"

Haley involuntarily strengthened her grip on his hand. His voice was strained, cracking sinfully. She watched as he squeezed his eyes shut and took in a hiccupped breath. A small part of her hated that she was the one putting him through this. Did she really have the right to ask him to divulge his past to her, especially when it was the reason for so much of his heartache?

"Nathan," She interrupted hoarsely. "I'm sorry. You…you don't have to do this. I shouldn't have—"

She fell silent when he rigorously shook his head.

"You deserve the truth," He pressed confidently.

The fierce look in his eyes warned her not to question it further.

"He invited me to a party," Nathan started again after a couple second pause. "And I went. Everything after that is…hazy. He forced alcohol down my throat at any chance that he got. He made me experiment with all these drugs. He was manipulative and I was too…stupid, too afraid to even entertain the idea of walking away. After a while, he didn't have to force me, I just did anything he wanted without a second thought.

"I wish I could…I wish I could give you a clear reason why, but I can't. I let myself become…like him, because it was easier than fighting. If I wasn't high, I was hungover, and if I wasn't hungover, I was high."

Haley grimaced and Nathan didn't miss the way her mouth twisted sourly. His heart ached at the sight. It only scared him more when he realized that she hadn't even heard the worst of it yet. He was positive that she would never look at him the same after she knew the whole truth. That would surely kill him.

"My grades started to suffer and I was kicked off the team. The worst part was that I didn't care. I felt no remorse. When my dad started telling me that Damien was bad news and that I needed to distance myself from him, I didn't listen. I was too prideful, and because of it…"

He trailed off. His heart surged, the pain trickling through his body like an IV drip. His next words were spoken through gritted teeth.

"My wake-up call came way too late. It was a party…"

 _He was two-sheets to the wind…and he loved every minute of it. A nameless brunette, almost as drunk as he was, maybe even more, was curled on his lap. Her lips were fastened to his and her fingernails, tipped in blood red polish, were scratching down his bare chest. She had the first several buttons of his shirt popped open._

 _The girl pulled away and kissed her way to his ear. A smirk plastered his face when she began to whisper all the illicit things she wanted to do to him. God damn, he was a lucky bastard._

 _Lifting the bottle of Jack to his lips, he downed the last gulp of it without even a grimace. Patting the girl on the thigh, right below the tight black dress she was wearing, she slid off his lap. She stumbled a little on wobbly heels and giggled ridiculously. Biting her lip, which was stained with remnants of her bright red lipstick, she beckoned him to follow her with a couple of clicks of her finger._

 _Unabashedly, Nathan trailed his eyes over her body. She had a tight body, the fabric of her dress clinging to every curve. Her legs went on for miles and were toned in all the right places. She was a regular slut at Damien's parties, but Nathan didn't care. She had a glint in her eye that told him she was wild in bed, and there was no way he was going to miss that._

 _Just as he was about to round the corner, Damien stepped in his line of vision. Placing his hand on Nathan's chest, Damien shoved him backwards._

 _"Where do you think you're going, hot shot?"_

 _Nathan rolled his eyes and jutted his chin out towards the girl he was following. "I got my girl for the night."_

 _Damien glanced over his shoulder and snarled. "Who, Mandy? Man, she might act like a slut, but she ain't nothing in bed."_

 _Nathan shrugged. "Or maybe she just didn't have anything to work with."_

 _Damien laughed obnoxiously. He tossed an arm around Nathan's neck and squeezed him against his chest. "You're a laugh-riot. But, I got a better girl for you."_

 _Nathan crinkled his nose as the smell of weed infiltrated his senses. "Who?"_

 _Damien swiveled him around so that he was facing a large group of people standing by the pool. "Her."_

 _He was pointing to a petite girl who was awkwardly lingering around the bar. Her hair was a reddish-brown color, pin-straight, and barely brushed her shoulders. Her black jeans were ripped at the knees and the red tank-top she was wearing barely covered her mid-drift, leaving a studded belly-button ring on display._

 _She was definitely hot, but she seemed a little on the shy side._

 _"Who is she?" Nathan asked._

 _"Sarah. Or maybe it was Stacy. Fuck, I don't know and it doesn't matter. She came here with her brother…Julian or something."_

Haley's eyes widened as she struggled to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. A bad feeling had knotted itself in her stomach and a cold sweat had broken out on her skin. Her mind was racing. "Julian's sister….what he said at Brooke's Friendsgiving…"

Nathan fisted her bedsheet until his knuckles faded white. "It's not….please, just…"

 _Nathan quirked an eyebrow. "What's so special about her?"_

 _There was a gleam in Damien's eye that made every hair on Nathan's body stand straight up. He lowered his voice and spoke in that devious manner that he was known for. "According to my calculations, you and Tim are tied in our little game. Rumor has it, she's a virgin. You know you'll get double points if you hit that."_

 _Nathan chuckled dryly, wrenching his eyes away from her. "Yeah, but you know how virgins are. She ain't gonna give it up to a stranger at a party."_

 _That gleam in Damien's eye only turned icier. Digging into his pocket, he pulled something out and placed it in Nathan's hand. "That's what that is for."_

 _Nathan's stomach turned queasy when he saw what Damien had placed in his hand. It was a tiny pill wrapped in plastic and foil. He knew right away what it was – ketamine, or what Damien called his "date rape drug of choice."_

 _Nathan wasn't sure he'd ever sobered up so quickly in his life._

 _"You're not suggesting that I put that in her drink, are you?" Nathan squeaked. He couldn't peel his eyes away from that pill._

 _"It's not a suggestion, Nate," Damien barked, his tone hard and edgy. "It's a command."_

 _Nathan's heart missed a beat and his lungs convulsed as he struggled to take a breath. "I..I can't do that."_

 _Damien's hand clasped down heavily on Nathan's shoulder like a brick. Damien's large fingers squeezed into the curve of Nathan's shoulder, and he struggled not to wince. "Don't be a pussy. It's not a big deal. It's not like she's going to remember in the morning anyway."_

 _Nathan's stomach twisted. Bile slid up his throat and almost choked when he fought to keep it down. There was no way he could go through with this. Damien had asked him to do some pretty vile things over the last year and a half, but never anything like this._

 _"Either you do it, or I do and blame it on Lucas."_

Haley inhaled sharply. She felt faint. She wasn't sure she could hear anymore. "Please tell me you didn't. God, please tell me you didn't."

Nathan felt nauseated at the fear and disgust in her voice. Stealing a glance at her, his stomach bottomed out. She was as white as a ghost and when he reached for her, she flinched. This is exactly what he was afraid of, not that he blamed her reaction.

"I didn't," He croaked. "I-I put the pill…in her drink. But she didn't drink it. I couldn't…I didn't. Just please, Haley. Let me explain."

 _He found out her name was Sarah in the first few moments that he'd talked to her. She was a senior and headed off to Winston-Salem the following year to study psychology. She seldom attended parties, mostly because social gatherings made her nervous._

 _There was no way he could do this, Nathan decided. He could be ruthless. He could cut diamonds with careless actions and slippery words. But he couldn't do this._

 _It was too late, though. He'd already slipped the pill in her drink, under the demanding and sinister gaze of Damien West. Sarah had yet to take a sip of her drink since he did so, and Nathan was sure he was going to throw up when she did._

 _As if on cue, Sarah lifted her cup up to her lips and Nathan's stomach lurched. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. He made a split-second decision that changed the entire course of his life. He tripped forward, bumping into Sarah so her drink tipped and spilled down the entire front of her shirt. Sarah jumped back, her mouth dropping open in shock._

 _"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Nathan quickly apologized. "Let me go get some napkins."_

 _He didn't get very far before Damien came stomping over to him. Every line on his face was etched out of stone. Nathan knew that look. He also knew that if he made it out of that night alive, it would be a miracle._

 _Damien grabbed Nathan by the collar of his shirt and yanked him forward. Fire was burning in his gaze. His lip was curled in a vicious snarl. His short fuse had blown. "Are you fucking kidding me? You've got a lot of nerve disrespecting me like that, especially after everything that I've done for you. You just signed your own death sentence."_

Haley's mouth was agape. She couldn't wrap her head around how someone could be that…vile and disturbed. Damien got off on bringing other people pain and she finally understood why Nathan was so fearful of him. He was a monster…the devil reincarnated.

"Damien was the one who…hurt Sarah," Nathan forced out. It amazed him that he was able to make it through that story without shattering into a million pieces. It felt good to get it off his chest, but it also made him feel like he was suffocating. "The last person she remembered being with was me. That's why Julian thinks I did it."

"Oh, my God, Nathan…"

He shook his head to signal that he wasn't finished. If he didn't get it all out while he was on a roll, he was afraid that he would shut down again.

"Damien wanted me to pay him for every drug that he ever gave me. I couldn't pay him the money. I could've asked my dad to help me, but I didn't. And because I was too…arrogant, they're dead. I could've prevented this, Haley."

He was panting. The ache in his chest was almost unbearable.

He was unraveling before her very eyes. He was always broken and bruised, with ripped edges. But now those edges were shredding. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she swallowed them back. All that pain he was carrying…it wasn't fair.

Haley gently grabbed his face, forcing his eyes on hers. "Nathan, none of what happened is your fault. Damien is the one to blame, not you. You did the right thing by not listening to him."

"Did I?" Nathan asked helplessly. Her eyes were softer than they were moments before. That felt like a breath of fresh air.

Haley nodded, a single tear sliding down. She quickly wiped it away and scooted closer to him. "Your mistakes shouldn't fall victim to the monster that Damien is."

"That doesn't change the fact that I'm a terrible person."

"You're not," Haley denied. Hearing him talk so sourly about himself felt like a bullet to the heart. "Nathan, look at me."

He slowly lifted his head to see look at her.

"It's not your fault," She reiterated.

He buried his hand in your hair. The tips of his fingers massaged the back of her neck, sliding down to nip at the soft structure of her chin and jaw. His nose rubbed against hers slowly, as his lips brushed over hers.

"I'm yours," He promised gruffly. "You have every fucked-up part of me, Hales. You have since the moment we met."

A whimper slipped past her lips. She gripped desperately at the collar of his shirt, effectively yanking him closer to her. Haley slanted her lips over his, trying her hardest to convey every emotion she was feeling into that kiss. Nathan was grasping at her urgently, like she was going to disappear at any given moment.

"I love you, so much," Nathan breathed out once they broke apart. "I can't…I can't lose you. I know being with me…it's a lot to ask. I have so much baggage and it haunts me every day. I'm permanently scarred, Haley."

To emphasize his point, he gently grabbed her hand and placed it over the scar on his clothed chest. Even through the fabric her fingers found the jagged skin. A shiver passed through him when her dainty fingers traced over the laceration. Her touch was feather light, but it still caused his skin to tingle.

"You deserve so much more than me. I—"

Haley cut him off with a kiss. When she pulled away, her eyes were shining with tears.

"I'm not going anywhere, Nathan," Haley swore as she brushed her fingers through his hair. "I love _you_ —the good, and the bad."

The conviction in her voice was record-breaking.

Everything made sense to her now. The cage around his heart, his fragile and unpredictable emotions, his scattered brain, his undeniable insanity about keeping her safe...they were all battle wounds from a war that he wasn't prepared to fight. A war that had crept up on him with little regard to his sanity.

Nathan's past was a colossal, scary mess. He'd made so many mistakes and he'd got himself caught up in the wrong people. He paid for his mistakes in brutal and hellish ways. The only though she could focus on was how much she wanted to protect him—from Damien and from all the pain he'd endured. It just wasn't _fair_.

"I'm not going anywhere," She repeated with emphasis, placating the fearful uncertainty she found still swirling in his eyes.

In that moment, Nathan swore that he fell in love with her all over again. Awe glistened in his eyes and a heavy weight felt like it had been lifted off his heart. She saw the darkest parts of him and she still wanted him. She still loved him. He never thought he'd get so lucky.

He weaved his hand through the thick strands of her hair and slipped his lips over hers. Lips moved slowly, dripped in passion. Quiet and pleasure filled sighs expelled from both of their mouths. Something about this kiss felt different…fresher. Its intensity had them both seeing stars.

Nathan ran his hands over her shoulder, down her back, and stopped at her waist. Her fingers fisted his shirt, while his glided beneath the hem of her shirt. Her skin was warm, and her stomach fluttered under the pads of his fingers. Slowly, he lowered her backwards and cloaked her body with his own.

Their bodies were sandwiched together, hips aligned with hips and hands scavenging.

A few short moments had passed before Nathan's shirt was discarded. Haley's small hands brushed over his chest. Her trembling fingers traced every dip and every curve, causing a thick layer of goosebumps to form on his skin. Each swipe of her fingers felt like an electric current.

The need he felt for her in that moment outweighed everything else. He needed her to save him.

He pulled away from her mouth, gasping for air. His lips grazed the arc of her cheek, the edge of her jaw, and down the smooth column of her throat. Her sharp intakes of breath were slowly driving him mad. Tilting his head back, he swiped his thumb against her swollen bottom lip.

"Hales," He murmured huskily. The tone of his voice was coated in yearning, as was the dark hue of his eyes.

Haley knew what he was asking. She couldn't deny him, and more than that, she didn't want to. Through hooded eyes, she kept her gaze locked on his and trailed her hand down his panting chest. Reaching the buckle on his belt, she snapped it open.

Brushing his fingers under her chin, he tilted her head up. He searched her eyes with silent questions and she answered them with a soft smile.

Clothes were discarded in a leisurely manner, like they were savoring every inch of bared skin. Twin gasps could be heard as heated skin met for the first time, igniting a blissful inferno that passed through the both of them.

Nathan buried his head in the crook of her neck. His breath came out in short pants against the damp skin of her neck. He let himself get lost in her—in the warmth and means of escape that she brought him. He got lost in her quiet sighs and soft purrs of his name. Even her nails, which were raking down his back, left a blissful burning in their wake.

Haley James was his everything and in that moment, even though it was only for a small second, he believed that everything was going to be okay.

~x~

"Haley!"

She jumped awake at Nathan's plea of her name. She felt his body shaking beneath her, the arm wrapped around her waist holding her in a vice grip. His skin was slick with a thin layer of sweat and his face was scrunched up as if he were in pain.

Haley sat up with her sense on high alert. Adrenaline wiped away any trace of tiredness as she tried to wiggle herself out of his grasp. He was clearly having some kind of nightmare—one that prompted him to shout her name in a way that made every hair on her body stand up.

"Shh, baby, I'm right here. Wake up," Haley said. Softly, she trailed her hands over his face and down his chest. "Nathan, wake up."

He shot up, almost knocking Haley over. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were wild, darting around the room in confusion and fear. Several seconds passed before his gazed landed on hers. He immediately reached for her hand that was caressing his cheek, squeezing the life out of it.

Nathan struggled to catch his breath. His chest was heaving and his lungs felt like they were shrinking from lack of oxygen. His nightmare was replying in his head in high definition, making it hard for him to distinguish between what was real and what wasn't.

The dream had been the same one that it'd always been—the house fire, the screaming, and the crying. Images of his mom laying beneath that beam still pierce his heart, as does the image shifting from his mom to Haley. He has to consciously remind himself that, that part of the dream isn't real. Haley's still alive and she's touching him. She's breathing, not a charred figment of his imagination.

But he can't shake the dream. There was something different about this version of it. It wasn't Damien who had started the fire…it was _him._

Haley sat up on her knees and cupped his face in the palm of her hands. He was starting to scare her. The blue hue of his eyes were clouded with something she'd never seen on him before. Every inch of his body was quivering. His skin pale and slick with sweat.

"Look at me," She commanded. "Good. Follow my lead, okay? Just breathe."

Nathan fought hard to keep his eyes locked on Haley's. He focused all of attention on her delicate hands rubbing at his face. The warmth of Haley's hands spread throughout his entire body, relaxing every ragged nerve. Slowly, his breathing began to even out. His eyes fluttered shut as he came back to the land of the living.

Leaning forward, Haley brushed her lips across his forehead and speared her fingers through his slick hair. "You're okay. It was just a dream."

Her dulcet voice had his eyes sliding open. Wrapping his fingers around her wrists, he titled his head to sweep a kiss across the palm of her hand. "It wasn't just a dream."

The tone of his voice was a melancholic mixture of rawness and hoarseness.

Haley's eyebrows bowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Nathan tried to clear the roughness out of his voice, but had no avail. Haley held up a finger as she slid out of her bed. Grabbing Nathan's discard shirt off her floor, she slipped it over her head and quietly trotted down to the kitchen. She grabbed a plastic cup and filled it with cold water. As she made her way back up to her room, she glanced at the clock.

 _3:30 am._

Sighing sadly, she headed back up to her room and handed Nathan the glass of water. "Here, drink this."

Muttering some thanks, Nathan took a healthy gulp of the water. The cool liquid felt good sliding down his parched throat. When his mouth no longer felt like a cotton field, he began to answer Haley's question. There was no hesitation in his explanation.

Haley James had cracked open the flood gates.

His narration dated back to when he first started having the dreams. He couldn't explain the dreams in grave detail—those words failed to come to him. His eyes dropped back to Haley's bedspread when he started to explain her involvement in his dreams. He wasn't sure he could handle seeing the look of sheer terror or disappointment on her face.

An eerie silence followed his confession and he still refused to look at her. Haley's sharp breathing was the only sound he heard clearly.

Haley failed to conjure up an appropriate response to what Nathan had just told her. He was so…damaged and all she wanted was to find a way to piece him back together.

"Have you ever considered seeing someone about everything you've been through?" Haley finally asked.

"What, like a shrink?" Nathan snorted, his jaw clicking into place.

Haley's shoulder's slumped and a small frown tugged at her lips. He said that word with such disdain and disgust. "Yeah," She sighed shakily.

Nathan shifted stiffly. His fingers flexed around the plastic cup and his gaze became fixated on the floral pattern of Haley's bedspread. His mind drifted back to the only time he'd ever stepped foot in a therapist's office. The familiar panic and unease raised inside of him, and he found it hard to breathe. He kept his expression stoic, though.

He hated therapists. Something about them made him nervous. They made him clam up and recoil even further into his shell. Maybe it was the fact that they were paid to listen to his problems that he didn't like. They didn't actually care about him, it was just their _job_. Or maybe it was the way their offices made him claustrophobic.

But it was probably because they made him face things that he didn't want to.

"Lucas and Jake tried that, once. It didn't go over all that well," Nathan muttered bitterly. He took brought the plastic cup up to his lips and took a healthy sip. The cool water felt good sliding down his parched throat.

"What happened?" Haley pondered. He voice was barely above a whisper.

Nathan chuckled humorlessly. The sound was dry and rough. "The guy started pushing my buttons and I flipped a table—that's the short version of it."

"Nathan…,"

He surprised himself when he began to elaborate.

"He wanted to me just dive right into my problems. He was asking me all of these questions and the way he was asking them...I just lost it."

Haley swiveled her body so that she was facing him more head-on. She spoke softly and cautiously. Her goal was to be persuasive, not demanding.

"That was only one therapist, Nathan. Every therapist has a different technique, and sometimes you have to meet with several of them before you find one that you like or connect with. It's a process, babe."

"Sounds like you're talking from experience," Nathan mumbled.

She offered him a comforting smile. "I saw one for a few months after my dad died. It was Vivian, my sister's, idea. I was against it at first, mostly because I thought it would make me seem weak. Vivian managed to convince me otherwise. I saw three different therapists before I found the one I was most comfortable with."

Nathan leaned over to place the now empty cup on Haley's night stand. "I don't know, Hales."

"You won't know unless you actually try," Haley continued to persuade. "We'll start with the therapist that I saw and go from there. I'll go with you to every appointment if you want."

Nathan glanced over at Haley. Everything about her posture told him that she was serious. When she squeezed his hand, his nerves flattened and he found himself agreeing. With Haley by his side, he felt like he could do anything.

"What am I going to do about Damien?" Nathan mumbled dejectedly. Apprehension cloaked his features. "He's not going away, Haley. He'll keep coming at me until he finds the perfect revenge. I can't stand the thought of him hurting you or—"

"First of all, I think you mean 'what are _we_ going to do about Damien?'" Haley quickly jumped in. Sitting up, she ran her lips along the edge of his jaw. "You're not alone in this, baby."

The corners of his mouth twitched into the slightest hint of a smile. He leaned his head against hers and toyed the sleeve of his shirt that she was wearing. "I can't ask you to get involved in this."

Huffing in annoyance, she distanced herself just enough to see him clearly. "I wish you would stop trying to shield me from everything. I get that you're trying to protect me, and I love you for that. But I'm not going to let you go through this alone. Your problems are also my problems. We're going to figure this out…together."

His heart skipped a beat the alight vigor in her eyes and laced in her words.

Nathan lunged forward to capture her in an achingly passionate kiss. "God, I love you."

She raked her nails over the sensitive skin on the back of his neck. Her lips were pulled into a sure smile. Did Damien scare her? More than anything. But the thought of Nathan suffering scared her more.

"We're going to figure this out, I promise."

~x~

"I saw Nathan spent the night last night."

The spoon, full of cheerios, that was heading towards her mouth came to a screeching halt. She dropped it nosily back into the bowl, ignoring the splashes of milk that landed on the back of her hand. Cautiously, she lifted her gaze and braced for what she assumed would be a lecture.

Lydia's expression was blank as she poured her coffee. From where Haley was sitting, she couldn't tell if her mom was trying to suppress a scowl or a smile.

Haley squirmed uneasily in her seat. Embarrassment coated her cheeks in the shade of cherry red. "Mom, I'm sorry. It's just…I…ugh. We got caught in the moment and…and ended up falling asleep. It wasn't supposed to happen. It won't happen again."

"Haley, honey, I'm not mad," Lydia laughed quietly as she slid into the seat adjacent to Haley. "By now, I think you know that I'm not a conventional parent."

Haley swallowed as she angled her body towards Lydia. "I thought you were livid…with the way you…"

Lydia shook her head. "I'm not your father. He probably would have dragged Nathan out by his toenails."

Haley grimaced but nodded her head in agreement. "Didn't he do that to one of Taylor's boyfriends?"

Lydia laughed melodically. Unlike previously, her eyes seem to light up at the mention of her late husband. "Multiple times. I was always the more level-headed one out of the two of us. I take it that you two worked things out?

"Um, yeah. We talked things over and we're…working things out."

Lydia smiled brightly. "Good. I'm glad to hear that. I told you that talking to him would do you some good. However, please do not mistake my happiness as giving you permission to have sleep-overs with your boyfriend whenever you want."

Haley nodded her affirmation, shrinking slightly under Lydia's pointed look. "Of course. Like I said, it was just a one-time thing."

Lydia cleared her throat. "I think you mean a three-time thing."

Haley bowed her head. The blush returned to her cheeks. "I'm sorry, mom."

Lydia shook her head with a small laugh. "I was a teenager once, you know. So, I get it. Just as long as you're being safe…that's all I care about."

Something clicked in Haley head in that moment. She was catapulted back to the previous night. Her heart leapt to throat and she physically felt her face draining of color. No, no, she was just overreacting. But what if she wasn't? There wasn't any guarantee, but…

"Mom..."


	27. Chapter 27

I apologize for my small disappearance. I came down with a nasty case of "I know what I want to happen, but my fingers and brain are not cooperating with each other" and school got all kinds of crazy (welcome to the life of a college student). I hadn't found any solid time to get any adequate writing done. Good news is that I'm on Spring Break and I'll have 10-ish free days. I'm hoping to get a least two chapters written in that time, but I make no promises because I feel like whenever I become concrete about something, life has a way of being like "just kidding... here are twenty more things you have to deal with."

I also apologize for making you all wait so long for an update, only for this update to be rather boring, especially when compared to the last few chapters. It's all stuff that's necessary to the plot and I wish I could have made it more...exciting, although I did try. I struggled so much with this chapter, which I feel like I say that a lot. Moment of truth, I'm an extremely insecure writer. And putting my work out there for people to read..it's scary. Hopefully y'all still enjoy it!

P.S. Only 3 chapters + an epilogue left!

* * *

"Okay, so I bought three different pregnancy tests. I read somewhere that you should always take more than one. You know, just in case you get a false positive. Although, I also read that you should always confirm a pregnancy with a doctor, just to be absolutely sure," Brooke rattled off as she sailed into the kitchen, depositing the convenience store bag she was carrying onto the counter.

Lydia kinked a brow and swallowed down her sip of coffee. "That was a very nice gesture, Brooke, but I'm afraid that those tests are going to be pretty useless right now. It takes a couple of weeks to…process."

"I knew that."

Haley groaned as she plopped her head down on the counter. The marble felt good against her heated skin. Her mind was racing with wild thoughts and the panic was heavy in her chest. With everything else going on in her and Nathan's life, the last thing they needed was a pregnancy. Nathan was going to lose his mind…

Maybe she was just jumping the gun. Maybe she got lucky and she wasn't pregnant. It was only a one-time thing. But what if that one-time thing was all that she needed? She always knew that she eventually wanted to be a mom, but not now. And Nathan…they never even talked about kids. They were _too young_ to have those kinds of conversations, weren't they? But what if he didn't want kids? What if….

She was going to be sick.

Haley jumped when she felt a pair of hands begin to rub her shoulders. Her mom's voice came next, her tone soft and reassuring.

"Haley Bob, there's no reason to stress right now. There's no guarantee that you're pregnant."

"There's no guarantee that I'm not either," Haley choked out, her voice barely peeking out from where she was resting her head.

"You can't stress about something when there's nothing to stress over," Lydia reminded her. "We aren't dealing with you being late or experiencing any other symptoms. If those things happen, then we'll worry about it."

Haley lifted her head. Her eyes were rimmed red with unshed tears. Deep down in the rational part of her brain, she knew her mom was right. The overactive part of her brain was in overdrive, more so than usual. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess. The only clear thing she could focus on was her panic. How else was she supposed to act when her and Nathan's life could change on a dime?

It was such a bad time for something like this to happen, especially with the danger of Damien gunning after Nathan.

"I can't be pregnant, mom. I just can't."

Her voice was strained and her throat hurt as she fought to keep the tears at bay. She felt like a mess like she couldn't keep her emotions in check. She chalked it up to temporary insanity, with everything that she had to deal with the past few weeks erupting at the surface.

"Everything's going to be okay, sweetie," Lydia continued to soothe. "Whether you end up pregnant or not, we'll figure it all out. One step at a time."

Haley exhaled slowly, hiccupping at the end of her breath. She wished that her mom's words would help calm her down, but if anything, they only made her stomach churn even more. She wished that she could find out whether or not she was pregnant…now. The wait was surely going to kill her.

"In the meantime, I would probably talk to Nathan," Lydia said.

Haley could feel her insides cringing. It hadn't crossed her mind to discuss this with him…until or unless there was something to discuss.

"I don't want to worry him," Haley answered quietly.

"You don't want to just spring it on him, Haley. Trust me. It's better, to be honest up front," Lydia said sternly and Haley knew that she wasn't in any position to argue. How the hell was she supposed to start that conversation?

Once Lydia left the kitchen, Brooke slid into the seat next to Haley. Putting a hand on her shoulder, Brooke gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"I had a pregnancy scare once," Brooke murmured after a couple of moments of silence.

Haley popped her head up. "Really?"

Brooke nodded and smiled comfortingly. "It was about a year after Julian and I started dating. I was late, and I'm _never_ late. I took eight pregnancy tests…no exaggeration."

Haley forced a dry laugh. "Why so many?"

Brooke pursed her lips. "The first one was negative and I had to be sure, so I took another one. Well, that one ended up being positive. In the end, I had four positives and four negatives."

Despite herself, Haley let out a quiet giggle. "That's insane."

Brooke nodded in affirmation. "It was scary. So, in a way, I kind of know how you feel. Your whole life…it flashes in front of your eyes. All of those dreams you made when you were a little girl, all of your future plans…they all hit you at once. But the thing that really gets you is that when you find out you aren't pregnant, after the initial breath of relief, there's a twinge of disappointment. That's when you know what you really want."

The corner of Haley's mouth pulled downward at the sullen quality Brooke's voice had taken on. "Sounds like you were really disappointed, huh?"

Brooke shook her head. "I wouldn't necessarily say that. It was just the first time that I realized what I wanted my future to be like. It was the first time that I realized I didn't want my future to be with Julian."

She paused and scrunched her nose. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me. That's not fair to you."

Haley dismissed that thought quickly. She needed something to take her mind off things, "The less I have to think about me, the better."

"Is there something else going on, Haley?" Brooke questioned, eyeing her curiously. Understandably, Haley seems stressed, but she seems extra keyed up like there was more to her fears than she was letting on.

It was on the tip of Haley's tongue. She so badly wanted to tell someone about Damien, not to gossip or to spread Nathan's business, but to get a different perspective. To get help.

Instead, she just shook her head. "No."

~x~

Haley's hands anxiously twisted her hands together as she waited for Nathan to open his front door. Her heart was banging against her ribcage like the wings of a trapped bird. In her head, she kept rehearsing what she was going to say to him, down to the letter.

Was she overreacting?

Before she had time to really think about that, Nathan's front door swung open. Her reason for coming there was momentarily forgotten as her eyes trailed over Nathan. He was in nothing but a pair of black athletic shorts. His hair was still wet, droplets of water slipping off the thick strands. A dark gray towel was draped around his neck.

"Sorry, I was in the shower," Nathan explained as he opened the door wider and motioned for her to come in. He didn't look the slightest bit surprised to see her there.

Biting her lip, she crossed the threshold and stuffed her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. All of her recited words seemed to have escaped her mind and now she wasn't sure how to begin, especially when she realized that there was something different about Nathan. He seemed lighter almost—his eyes brighter and his face more relaxed.

"Can we talk?" Haley blurted out, choosing to just rip the Band-Aid off.

Nathan's eyebrows furrowed at the jittery clip in her voice.

"Yeah, okay. Let me just put a shirt on."

Haley followed Nathan into his room and watched as he tossed the towel into the laundry basket and slipped a white t-shirt over his head.

"You should probably sit down for this," Haley mumbled softly.

"Hales, baby, you're starting to make me nervous," Nathan chuckled uneasily as he plopped down on his bed.

Every part of her body seemed taut with anxiety. She was chewing harshly on the inside of her cheek and couldn't stop fidgeting. His stomach knotted up with his own bout of anxiety and every worst-case-scenario thought his brain could conjure up hit him at once. Haley was always the more level-headed one out of the two of them, and to see her crumbling…

Maybe she realized that he was way too fucked up and she couldn't be with him anymore.

"Last night," Haley started shakily. She just had to get the words out all at once. "When we were together, we weren't protected."

Nathan experienced a brief moment of relief before the confusion set in. His memory of the previous night wasn't the clearest, a direct result of the emotional turmoil he had put himself through. The only thing that was crystal clear was that he felt _free_ after telling Haley everything. She knew every torrid detail about him, and she didn't go running for the hills.

Them being together…it all happened so fast and so naturally. He didn't stop to think because the only thing on his mind was being with her. A consolidation and testament to solidify the difference between the person he was before her and the person he is now because of her.

"I know that there's no guarantee that I'm going to be…p-pregnant." She could barely get that word past her lips without her stomach clenching painfully. Nathan's blank expression wasn't helping soothe her, either. "I know that it's not like the first time you screw up…boom, you're pregnant. But I also don't want to be naïve about this, either. I know we have a lot going on, with Damien…"

Haley's voice faded away as she continued her rant of fears and concerns. Her words sunk in slowly at first but then hit him like a ton of bricks. There was a tightness in his chest, mostly from panic, but there was something else that he couldn't place. He could feel the pace of his breathing increase exponentially, but words failed him.

Nathan never gave much thought to being a father. To be frank, he didn't think he'd live long enough to be put in a situation where the topic of having kids would arise.

Now that he actually thought about it…he was terrified. Most days he struggled to take care of himself, he couldn't imagine taking care of someone…tinier and completely dependent on him. He couldn't provide an adequate life for a child, not when he was so fucked up and had a past that would most likely always haunt him. Besides, he'd make a terrible parent, corrupting his child in every way humanly possible.

When he felt like his chest was going to cave in and his head was going to explode, he looked up at Haley. She was pacing the length of his bedroom, the same fear that he felt coursing through his veins evident on her face. Of course, she was scared, probably more so than he was, and he suddenly felt like a selfish bastard for only being concerned about what having a child would do to him.

But that's not what had his breath hitching in his throat.

Looking at her brought him a peculiar wave of calmness like she was the answer to every single one of his problems. In most cases, she was. Call it temporary insanity or something out of a fairytale…but looking at her allowed him to breathe easily again.

Unlike him, Haley would make an amazing parent. That was something he was absolutely sure of. She was warm, caring, and nurturing by nature. With her by his side, Nathan was confident that no matter what, he'd be just fine.

"I'd be okay with it," Nathan found himself saying, and he meant it.

Haley stopped dead in her tracks and her eyes stretched in size. "What?"

Dragging his sweaty palms along his thighs, Nathan ascended from his bed and closed the distance between them. He cradled her face in the palms of his hands, using the pads of his thumbs to trace her heated cheeks and rid them of panic-induced tears. The fear in her eyes sliced through him and he hoped to God that his words would help soothe her, even if it was just a little bit.

"If you were pregnant, I'd be okay with it," He repeated, his voice much more confident than it was moments prior. "I'd be more than okay with it. I'd be with you every step of the way."

Haley stared at him in awe. For a moment, she considered that her mind was playing tricks on her and that he had imagined his calm words. All it took was one look in his eyes, which were warm and more open than she'd ever seen them, for her to squelch that idea. He was serious. She wasn't exactly sure what she expected Nathan to say, but it wasn't this. It wasn't that she thought lowly of him, because God she didn't, but with everything else he had going on…she expected him to be more panicky. He was handling the notion a lot better than she initially did.

"I'm not going to lie and say that it wouldn't scare me to death because it would. I don't think I'd be any good at being a parent and my life is nothing short of being a total disaster. But with you…," He pauses to take a breath. "With you…nothing seems impossible. You're my future, Haley James. I want _everything_ with you."

A fresh batch of tears filled her eyes as she twined her arms around his neck. Haley pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss. "I love you."

He pulled her closer so that her head was resting in the crook of his neck. He trailed his fingers down her back in soothing strokes. "I love you, too. We'll figure it out, I promise."

Haley's shoulders relaxed as if the weight of the world had just slipped off them. The seed of panic, albeit still present, was no longer consuming her. Just being in Nathan's arms was enough to placate her. A small smile graced her face as she pulled away just slightly.

"We switched roles," Haley said lightly. "Usually I'm the one consoling you or telling you that everything is going to be okay."

A half-hearted smirk appeared on Nathan's face. "I figured it was time for me to start picking up the slack."

Closing her eyes, she laid her head back on his chest and let the rhythm of his heartbeat relax her. If she concentrated hard enough, she could almost swear it was saying "everything's going to be okay." For a split second, she almost believed that it would be. But they still had one gigantic problem.

"Speaking of figuring things out together," Haley mumbled, interrupting the silence. "I think we should bring all of our friends up to speed."

She felt Nathan tense beneath her. The hands that were rubbing her back paused in their movements. He backed away from her, the colors in his eyes hardening.

"What do you mean?" He asked gravely.

Haley took a deep breath before explaining. "I think that if we're going to find a way to free you from Damien, we're going to need all the help we can get. Strength in numbers."

Nathan detached himself from Haley and shook his head. "I can't have anyone getting hurt because of me. My worst fear was getting you involved in this and…"

When trailed off, Haley grabbed both of his hands. She expected him to say something like that. Things with Nathan were push-and-pull. When he lowered his guard in one aspect, he raised it in another. She knew that now. But she wasn't going to let him shut down again.

"You're not alone, Nathan," She echoed her words from the previous night. "And I hope one day you're no longer shocked when you hear that. You don't have to go through this by yourself and I'm not going to allow you to. Neither is your brother or your friends."

He could see the determination in her eyes and any articulate response he had to that had become lodged in his throat. "I…I don't know."

Releasing one of his hands, Haley reached up to caress his cheek. "You've been through far too much on your own. Let us help you."

His eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into her touch. His voice was strained as she struggled to speak. "I'll never forgive myself if something happens to you. Or any of my friends."

"Nothing is going to happen to us," Haley declared. "I promise."

~x~

Brooke and Peyton remained silent. Their eyes were wide and their expression completely dumbfounded. Nathan had just spent the last half hour filling Brooke and Peyton in about Damien. Surprisingly, he didn't have much trouble getting the words out. It helped that they both seemed to pretty open-minded as he told his story. There were no judging glances or disappointed huffs.

There was a tightening in his chest, but he found that if he kept his eyes focused on Haley, it was barely noticeable. Jake and Lucas being there also helped keep him calm.

"That…that makes so much sense," Brooke mumbled more to herself than to the group. "Julian was so hypersensitive around you and I knew about what happened to his sister…but before now, it just _never_ made sense."

Haley looped her arm through Nathan's when she saw him visibly tense. Delicately, she ran the palm of her hand up and down his arm. If she listened close enough, she swore she could hear him grinding his teeth.

"Damien's a real son of a bitch," Peyton laughed bitterly.

Nathan only nodded silently.

"Have you talked to the police at all?" Brooke questioned.

Nathan shook his head. "I can't. Not yet. I tried to get more evidence against him, but that ended up blowing up in my face, as you know."

"There has to be something we can do," Jake spoke up. "This sitting around and waiting for something to pop up or for Damien to make a mistake obviously isn't working."

"I can't keep living like this," Nathan said painfully. "He has this hold on me and I can't take it anymore. I know that asking you guys to get involved is a lot and I completely understand if you want nothing to do with this…or me."

Haley blinked back the tears burning in her eyes. Nathan sounded at his wit's end it broke her heart. No one deserved to go through something like this, but especially someone like Nathan.

"No. I think I speak for all of us when I say we want to help," Brooke reassured Nathan and everyone agreed.

"There has to be something that he wants," Lucas broke his silence. "Damien, he's a businessman—a drug dealer—but a businessman nonetheless. There has to be some way that we can work out some deal with him or trap him into some deal that would provide us with enough leverage to get the police involved."

"Obviously Nathan paying back all that money is off the table, at this point," Jake grumbled. "Not that I think giving him thousands of dollars would get rid of him for good anyway. He's like a fucking leech."

Nathan ran a hand over his rugged features, his jaw clicking. "There's only one other thing I can think of that he wants…and that's Haley."

A chill ran down her spine and she involuntarily clutched on to Nathan's arm even tighter. The thought of being anywhere near Damien made her skin crawl. But it also struck her with an idea and it might just be their only hope.

"Then let's give him what he wants," Haley declared.


	28. Chapter 28

I realized while writing this chapter that I made a continuity error a few chapters ago. I am only human after all. No one actually caught on to it (or they did and chose to stay silent), but I'm fixing it now. Haley said that she was going to get in contact with her therapist for Nathan to see...which doesn't make sense considering she's not from Tree Hill in this story and moved around a lot. My apologies for my little fumble.

This the calm before the storm, shall we say. And yes, I'm being inconspicuous about the plan Haley had come up with on purpose!

P.S. I got the chance to meet James Lafferty again last weekend and I promise you that he is one of the sweetest, most genuine, and most humble people you'll ever meet. He's also hot as hell. I feel like I might have said that many times before, but pictures do. not. do. him. justice. Okay, I'll stop lusting over James now and get on with the chapter!

P.S.S. I do have an extended version of the last scene of this chapter. I was going to include the entire thing, but I couldn't find a way to end it so it made sense as the end of a chapter. It just kind of felt awkward and out of place. However, if there is enough interest, I have nothing against posting the entire scene as like a "deleted scene one-shot" kind of thing! Let me know in your reviews!

P.S.S.S. Did you miss my long ass author's notes? I was going to skip over Nathan going to see a professional and just include it in a passing conversation, but I felt like including it is essential to his journey. Besides, I have a lot of experience with seeing therapists, so it was relatively easy to write. Okay, I'm done now.

* * *

"Nathan?"

"Hm?"

"Quit shaking your leg so much. You're making _me_ nervous."

Nathan's leg, which had been bouncing up and down at a rapid pace, slowed to a stop. Sheepishly, he smiled at Haley. She giggled softly and squeezed his hand that was resting on the top of her thigh.

"You're going to fine, I promise," She spoke soothingly and ran her thumb over the tense tendons in his hand.

Nathan nodded weakly and swallowed roughly. When she returned to reading the magazine, she had picked up when they first arrive, he took it upon himself to glance around the waiting room for what felt like the hundredth time. This therapist's office looked a lot like any regular doctor's office, minus the sterile smell and fluorescent lightening.

The walls were a cool gray, contrasting with the salt and pepper color of the carpet lining the floor. A water jug, that sat in the closest corner to Nathan, was humming loudly in the otherwise quiet space. A little boy was perched on the ground across from Nathan, playing carelessly with a set of colorful blocks. A woman, who he assumed was the little boy's mom, was sitting a few feet away from them, occupied by herself. Other than the two of them, they were alone.

Nathan's nerves jangled more with every passing second. His palms felt clammy and every time he heard voices approaching the entryway door his stomach lurched. He didn't know much about his new therapist, other than that her name was Sheryl Waters and she'd been a therapist for almost twenty-five years.

He promised Haley that he would at least try talking to someone again, but now that he was sitting in that office, he couldn't ignore the strong urge to bolt. It was like he was on the verge of jumping out of his own body, his nerves fizzling and his brain calculating thoughts faster than he could make sense of them. The only clear thought in his head was the image of him losing his mind and flipping over a table, which was what happened the last time he found himself in a therapist's office.

Without realizing it, his leg began to bounce again. Roughly two weeks had gone by since Haley first suggested it, and that time did little to prepare him.

Haley looked up from her magazine when she felt Nathan's leg brush rapidly against her own. Sighing softly, she closed the magazine and reached over, pressing her palm down on the top of his thigh. Holding his leg in place, she cocked an eyebrow.

"You're doing it again."

Letting out a slow breath of air, Nathan leaned back and pressed the heel of his hands to his eyes, rubbing them. "I don't think I can do this, Hales."

Frowning slightly, she placed her magazine down on the table in front of them. "You can. I know that you can."

He dropped his hands back in his lap. "You have way too much faith in me."

"That's my job—to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself," Haley said sincerely as she laced their fingers together. "But if this is really something that you don't want to do, you don't have to."

Nathan felt the sincerity and compassion in her voice cloak him like a warm blanket. He also understood that she was giving him a way out. He could take it without a second thought and take another step back in his recovery. But he could also see the trust in her eyes, trust that was begging him to be strong and to take the plunge. The only thing that scared him more than his past was disappointing her.

"No, I need to do this," He proclaimed. His voice caught slightly in his throat and it suddenly felt as dry as a desert. "I know I need to."

Haley's heart cinched in his chest as she smiled gently at him. "I'm proud of you, you know that?"

"I love you, you know that?"

Haley brushed her lips against his in a sweet and chaste kiss. "I love you, too. You're in good hands. According to my previous therapist, Sheryl is one of the best in New Hanover County. And if it doesn't work with her, she gave me an entire list of other therapists in the area."

Nathan squirmed at the idea of having to go through this type of anxiety more than once. Hopefully, this Sheryl Waters person wasn't anything like the first dickhead he had as a therapist.

The door to the waiting room squeaked open and he tensed. A short woman with coke bottle glasses and obviously dyed red hair emerged from behind the door. Her skin appeared almost leathery, clumps of makeup creased between wrinkled pockets. The floral-patterned skirt and pink pastel colored shirt covering her thin body screamed essence of the eighties.

"Nathan?" Her voice was rough and scratchy like it was in desperate need of being cleared. She must have been a chain-smoker at some point in her life.

Stealing one more nervous glance at Haley, to which she wrinkled her nose and gave him a reassuring smile, he inched himself out of his chair. He forced a wobbly smile as he reached for her hand, which was surprisingly cold, bone-y and fragile. He feared that if he squeezed her hand too hard it would turn to dust.

"I'm Sheryl Waters," She croaked. "Are you ready to do this?"

He wanted to bark out a quick "no" and then bolt out of there, but he swallowed it down. Instead, he gave a weak a nod and followed behind Sheryl like a dog with their tail in-between their legs. There was a whooshing sound in his ears and he couldn't tell if his heart was beating at all.

It was a short walk to hole-in-the-wall-office. He was greeted by warm brown walls, dimmed reading lamps, and the strong smell of pine. A black leather couch with a plethora of decorative pillows sat against the furthest wall, right below a large painting of an ocean. Sheryl's desk was picture perfect, not a single pen or scrap of paper out of place.

Her office was the quintessential therapist's office and the walls felt like they were caving in on him.

 _Just breathe, Nathan. You can do this._

"Would you like to take a seat?" Sheryl rasped, already sitting in her large computer chair, one leg crossed over the other.

Stiffly, Nathan shuffled over to the large couch and sank into it. The leather felt good against his heated and clammy skin. He rested the palm of his hands on his knees, a futile attempt at keeping them from anxiously bouncing. The next few moments seemed to blur by as she recited the clinic policies and had him sign a couple of consent forms.

"You're not too keen on the idea of seeing a therapist, are you?" Sheryl asked, shuffling all of the signed forms into a manila folder. Her back was to him, but he swore he could see her cheeks lifted into a gentle smile.

Her question caught Nathan off guard and he felt himself sink lower into the couch like he was trying to hide his transparency. He cleared his throat before he answered. "I—uh, no?"

Sheryl swiveled in her chair. Her glasses were now perched on the top of her head and a legal pad was resting on her lap. She was twisting the top of a pen in-between her fingers. "I've spent most of my years studying body language and participating in studies focused on the outward response of human behavior. Basically, I can tell what basic things are going through your mind before you say them."

Nathan paled and his throat felt dryer than the desert. If he wasn't feeling emotionally naked before, he was now.

"See, I can tell that I've freaked you out," Sheryl muttered with a chalky cough. "Don't worry, I'm not going to be constantly analyzing you. I just think it's important to tell my patients up front because it helps them be more honest with me…and themselves. If they know I can tell when they're lying or withholding information…well, let's just say that it prevents awkward moments for the both of us."

Nathan squirmed beneath her intense gaze. Her grey-like eyes seemed to be peering into the deepest depths of his soul. Her words might not have been as intrusive as his previous therapist was, but her eyes sure were. The only difference was that he didn't feel his blood boiling in his veins.

"What brings you to therapy, Nathan?" She asks next. It sounds almost robotic like she's asked that question far too many times. "Is there a specific event that has wreaked havoc on your life or is it a collection of things?"

 _Here we go…_

Did he just blurt it out?

"My parents died and it was all my fault."

Yep, apparently just blurting it all out was the way to go.

Saying that out loud felt like an out-of-body experience for Nathan, like he had drifted away from his body and he was watching from above as someone else fought through his issues for him. The sour taste in his mouth was no surprise, but the lightness in his chest was.

Sheryl jotted down what he said without a flicker of emotion. He expected her eyes to widen or for some kind of fear to cross her face…but it was blank like she'd heard tons of people admit to being the reason someone was dead.

"What makes you say that?"

His jaw locked. He wished he didn't have to say it and judging by the way Sheryl was furiously jotting down notes, she knew it, too.

"You don't trust many people, do you?" She asked next, not giving him a chance to decide whether he was going to spill his past to her or not.

"I don't trust myself," Nathan said lowly. "I'm the one that has the problems, not anyone else."

"And you isolate yourself because…"

"Because it's easier that way," Nathan mumbled. "And safer."

"Have you let anyone in?"

"Only one person that hasn't lived my past."

"I imagine that that was incredibly hard for you," Sheryl mused, finally putting her pen down.

Nathan nodded robotically. "It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but it was still…difficult."

"Who was it?" She asked casually as if she were asking him what time of day it was or how the weather was.

"My girlfriend." That was the only question he was sure he could answer without feeling like he was going to pass out or throw-up.

Sheryl's eyebrows arched in surprise. "I assume she is the one who was in the waiting room with you?"

"Yes."

A small and delicate smile lifted her lips. "She means a lot to you."

It was a heavy statement, lacking any kind of need for clarification.

"This is very romantic novel-y of me, but I saw the way you were looking at her—almost like she was your anchor. That's intense."

Nathan's jaw ticked. The tone of her voice had shifted from monotone to edgy in a matter of seconds. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

She quickly dismissed that thought with a shake of her head. "Not at all. I just don't usually see that kind of intensity in couples, especially at your age."

"Yeah, well, nothing about my life is normal," Nathan grumbled, his defensives kicking into high gear.

Sheryl stifled a laugh as her eyes scanned her legal pad. The seconds ticked by slowly as Nathan waited for her next question or analysis.

"Let's take a few steps back. You mentioned something about it being safer that you don't let people in. Can you expand on that?"

His parched throat refused to seize. "My past…the person I am," He paused to swallow. "The person I _was_ …it had a tendency to haunt me. No matter how hard I try, I couldn't seem to distance myself from it."

"You said couldn't," Sheryl quickly pointed out. "You're speaking in past tense. I take it that you've made some improvement in that?"

Nathan's hand flew to the back of his neck and rubbed the skin raw. He wasn't sure how to accurately answer that, mostly because he hadn't thought about it. Had he really made progress?

"I'm not…sure."

"I think you do. You're just scared."

Nathan pursed his lips and nosily dropped his hand back to his lap. "Of what?"

"Freeing yourself from whatever has this vice grip on you. It has become such an integral part of you, and even though you want it gone, you're scared of what comes next," Sheryl said.

Her words cut like a knife, slicing him right down to his soul.

Sheryl sighed as she sat forward, bone-elbows resting on even bonier knees. "Contrary to what you're thinking, you're not the most complicated case I've come across. You carry around a lot of guilt, and I don't think you need a professional opinion to conclude that. Your guard is cracked and it's going to take a lot more chiseling to get it down completely, but I think it's manageable."

Nathan audibly swallowed.

"But whether or not that actually happens is up to you. Do you want help, Nathan? Is working through this something that you really want to do?"

For the second time that day, he was offered a way out. He was reminded of how easy it would be to just say "no" and walk out of that office without even thinking about turning back. He wasn't sure how much he believed in signs from the universe or the science of temptation, but he knew this was a test.

"I want to do this," He finally answered before that little voice, which had been relatively quiet for quite some time, could talk him out of it.

~x~

"You seem…more chipper than normal," Brooke commented as she continued to stretch. Her legs were splayed out in a V-shape in front of her and her arms were stretched out to grip the tops of her butterfly shoes. A small blue and black "R" was painted on her cheek, just below her eye, and when the light hit her face just right, it glittered.

Haley shrugged her shoulders as she secured her hair in a high ponytail. "It's been a good day."

Brooke cocked an eyebrow as the corner of her mouth curled into a low smirk. "Hm, Nathan had that 'I just got laid' smirk on his face. I think I have a pretty solid idea of what you mean by 'good day.'"

Haley's mouth dropped open as she wailed one of her pom-poms at Brooke. She could feel her cheeks flushing, the heat spreading down the length of her body. "That's _so_ not what I meant."

Brooke laughed as she caught the pom-pom in mid-air. "I don't know what you're so embarrassed about. It's no secret that you guys have sex. I mean…I did hold your hand through your first pregnancy scare not that long ago."

Haley groaned as the heat in her cheeks refused to let up. "I think it's still a little too soon for that to become a laughing matter."

Brooke waved her hand dismissively. "As soon as that test came back negative, it became a laughing matter, Tutor Girl. How did Nathan handle it? I bet he was relieved."

"I don't know if relieved is the right word," Haley said honestly. Her dainty fingers were smoothing over the creases in her blue and black cheer skirt. It still amazed her just how calm and supportive Nathan had been through the whole "possibly pregnant" ordeal. "He's been especially gracious about it all."

A small, but an elated smile crossed Brooke's face. "Nathan's a good guy, so I'm not surprised."

"That statement is a far cry from what you said about him a few months ago."

Brooke wagged a perfectly manicured finger at Haley, her features twisted defensively. "I never said that Nathan was a bad guy. I just said that you need to be careful. But I never told you to be careful of _him_ , just the things that were attached to him."

Haley prepared a response but stopped short when Brooke's expression soured. Following her line of sight, Haley's lips dipped into a slight frown when she saw what caused Brooke's shift in mood. Julian had just walked in, a blonde on his arm. Rumor was that her name was Selena and she was a freshman at Cape Fear Community College. Details on how they met and what their official relationship status was skewed, but Brooke seemed to be handling it a lot better than expected. Haley figured Jake had something to do with that.

"Things have really changed over the last few months, haven't they?" Haley commented offhandedly, tearing her gaze away from Julian.

"You can say that again," Brooke mumbled.

"Do you miss him?"

"Sometimes," Brooke answered after a long stretch of silence. "But I think I miss the routine and the attention more than I miss him."

"Understandable."

"We haven't really had a chance to talk about…well…how are you holding up? Because I know that my paranoia has reached exceptional heights," Brooke quickly spit out, clearly itching for a change in the subject.

"Surprisingly well," Haley said with a short laugh as she plopped down on the gym floor next to Brooke. "Maybe I'm being naïve, but I just want to enjoy the calm while it lasts, you know? Is that bad of me?"

Brooke's expression softened and she quickly shook her head. "No, I don't think so. Have you and Nathan talked any more about your plan?"

Haley's fingers began to toy with the lining of her cheer-skirt. The shakiness in Brooke's voice had her own anxiety being to bubble up inside of her. They'd all been under a lot of stress the last two weeks, something that she knew Nathan felt responsible for, but Haley found it reassuring—strength in numbers.

The topic of Damien had been seemingly off-limits, each one of them trying to maintain as much normalcy as possible. It was hard, but the distractions of school, basketball games, and cheerleading made it somewhat easier. The looming dread danced around in the shadows of all their conversations and there were moments of unspoken anxieties. That elephant was always in the room, no matter how hard they tried to pretend it was invisible.

"Not really," Haley murmured shakily. "I can tell that it still bothers him and is not all that happy with it, but I think he also knows it's our only choice."

Haley paused to take in a cleansing breath of air. A strong whiff of fresh popcorn caught her by surprise and her stomach growled in response. Her appetite had been pretty non-existent, her anxiety covering its ground with physical symptoms and lacking in the mental ones. It was both a blessing and a curse.

"There a lot that can go wrong, and I know that," Haley breathed tiredly. "I'm terrified out of my mind, but…it just feels right. Even if something were to go disastrously wrong but Nathan still frees himself from Damien, I'd be—"

"Nothing is going to happen to you," Brooke quickly cut her off. The direction their conversation was heading left a bad taste in her mouth. "Nothing is going to happen to _any_ of us."

Haley swallowed hard and tried her best to keep the smile on her face level. "You're right. I'm sorry. I won't mention it again."

Their conversation was cut short when the lights in the gym dimmed and the cheers from the crowd intensified. All thoughts of Damien were pushed to the back of their minds as Haley and Brooke jumped up from the floor. A smile was plastered on each of their faces as they took their respective spots on the gym floor. With their pom-poms in the air, they cheered as the Ravens took the floor.

~x~

There were ten seconds left on the clock and the game was tied 24-24. The Ravens have possession of the ball.

Sweat was pouring down Nathan's face and his jersey was sticking uncomfortably to his heated body like a second skin. His lungs were burning and every strand of muscles felt worn and beaten. Despite his fatigue, he felt amazing. He was starting to get back into the swing of things, each play feeling like second nature rather than a chore. The cheers from the crowds were exhilarating, and every time he glanced over at the cheerleaders, his heart grew in size at the pride beaming on Haley's face.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Nathan felt as if everything in his life was falling into place. He could see the silver lining and he just prayed to God he could finally reach it.

The referee blew the whistle, ending the Pirates' time out and Nathan strolled back to his place on the court. Glancing back over that the clock, the ten remaining seconds seemed to glare at him. They could easily run down the time and force the game into overtime. But the team's record during over-time wasn't the greatest. It would be easier to just end it now and they had the manpower to do it.

Nathan darted his gaze over to Lucas and Jake. With a simple nod, Jake took a step forward and the whistle blew. Out of the corner of his eye, Nathan saw Quentin lung forward, blocking the Pirates' strongest player. Things were still quite icy between Nathan and Quentin off the court, but Quentin was surprisingly professional on the court. He wasn't sure why Quentin walked around with such a chip on his shoulder, but he was learning to ignore it.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Lucas had the ball and two Pirates' players had him guarded. Only one player was blocking Nathan and he smirked slightly…that was a mistake. The Pirates were well aware that he was the Ravens' best shooter, timidly so, but he could still let light the court on fire. They were underestimating him and he hated being underestimated.

He picked up speed as Lucas freed the ball and passed it to Jake. He faked left and broke right to slip free of the player guarding him. Stealing one glance back at the clock, he narrowed his eyes when he saw three seconds remaining. He clapped his hands together and shouted for Lucas to pass him the ball.

As soon as he felt the leather in his hands, his mind went blank. He didn't stop to think about anything, he just followed the natural movements of his body, just like Whitey had told him to do.

 _Keep it steady, son. Let it happen._

He almost fumbled over the sound of his father's voice. Call it a sixth sense. Call it insanity. But Nathan just knew that Dan Scott was there and that was the last boost of confidence he needed.

Nathan didn't snap back into reality until the ball was through the hoop and the roars of the crowd grabbed him by surprise. There were hands everywhere—patting him on the back, and grabbing him by the shoulders. He felt good at that moment like he was finally apart of something…something that mattered.

His eyes automatically searched for Haley's. A smile broke out on his face when he saw her. She was beaming with pride and he felt his heart swell in his chest. He could do this…he was doing this.

"Nathan!"

He whipped around at the sound of Whitey's gruff voice. The old man, who rarely smiled, had a watery grin on his face. Whitey clamped a heavy hand over his sweaty shoulder.

" _That_ was exactly what I meant when I said you need to just play and not overthink everything. A little rusty and you should have released the ball a little sooner…but overall, I think you're on your way back, Scott."

~x~

"Nathan Scott."

Nathan slowed his pace at the sound of his name and adjusted his duffle bag over his shoulder as he exited the locker room. Approaching him was a man that couldn't have been more than five years his senior. He was dressed in a pair of faded blue jeans and a steel gray dress shirt, untucked. His boyish grin and sandy tussled hair seemed to complete his ensemble.

"Yeah?" Nathan asked cautiously. He'd never seen this man around before and while he seemed to have a friendly glow, Nathan's guard immediately went up.

"Clay Evans."

Nathan stared at Clay's extended hand for a moment, before slowly reaching forward and giving him a firm handshake.

"I own a sport's agency," Clay quickly dove in, leaving no room for Nathan to ask questions or interject. "It's very independent and small scale because I like to look for real and genuine talent. It's more about the heart and soul to me than it is about the big names and fame."

Nathan shifted his weight from foot to food and slipped his hands into the front pockets of his khakis. He wasn't sure how to appropriately respond to that, but luckily Clay's speech wasn't over yet.

"There was a lot of buzz about you joining the Ravens this season and I knew that I just had to check you out for myself," Clay beamed. "And I have to say, I wasn't disappointed. You're a little rough around the edges, but you've got some real and raw talent. It wouldn't be that much of a challenge to polish you up a little. Tell me, have you ever considered playing pro-ball or even college ball?"

Nathan blinked a couple of times to fully process everything that Clay was saying. The man talked fast and everything he was saying felt more like a sales pitch than a casual conversation. He had that voice that Nathan imagined would be perfect for those late-night infomercials.

"Uh, yeah, I guess," Nathan admitted after clearing his throat. "It's been a while though."

"That's alright. You're still young. Sometimes it's good to not have your entire future planned out. But I think if you're interested in pursuing a basketball career, I could make that happen for you. I could secure you a pretty good deal with a small scaled school in order to establish yourself as a player, and then eventually move you on up to the big leagues. Does that sound like something you'd be interested in?"

Nathan was stunned, to say the least. A couple years ago, he would have jumped at this opportunity. Now it seemed like everything was happening so fast and he wasn't sure what he truly wanted. He'd been taking life one step at a time and this felt like twelve steps at once. For someone who didn't think he had a future, it was sure coming at him fast.

"I can see that I've completely over-whelmed you," Clay said with a short chuckle. "I'll give you my card and you can think it over. Sound good?"

Keeping up with the pace of his talking, Clay whipped out a pure white business card and thrusted it into Nathan's hand. He shot Nathan one more endearing smile before he was gone, leaving Nathan with a dumbfounded look on his face.

"What was that all about?" Haley asked as she strolled over to Nathan. She'd been waiting for Nathan when she saw some guy practically pounce on the opportunity to talk to him. At first, she worried that maybe it was one of Damien's minions, but stepped back when she realized the conversation wasn't fear-stricken or of high intensity.

Nathan was startled a little by the sound of her voice, but soon relaxed when she looped her arm through his. "I'm not really sure. He was a sport's agent…or something like that."

Haley's eyes widened and she halted their stroll back to his car. "That's…that's kind of a big deal, isn't it?"

Nathan shrugged nonchalantly. "I guess."

"Nathan?" Haley questioned incredulously, both of her eyebrows raised in confusion. "A sports' agent got in contact with you…I thought you would be bouncing off the walls about something like that."

Nathan rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged his shoulders again. "He talked so fast, I could barely understand everything he was saying. It hasn't sunk in yet, I guess."

Haley wanted to press the issue further but decided that it was a conversation for another time. Nathan seemed to be in quite the daze about it. Although her sports' knowledge was limited, she knew that being on the radar of a scout or an agent was a big deal.

"Hi, Nate. Good game. You looked good, too."

Haley glanced over to see a petite brunette standing off to the side. A shorter blonde was attached to her hip. They were both fluttering their eyelashes, their faces caked with more makeup than necessary. She could practically smell the cheap perfume they were wearing. They could barely pass for sophomore's and she rolled her eyes at the pathetic way their eyes were lingering over Nathan's body.

Girls looking at Nathan like he was a shiny new toy was nothing new, but there was something viler about the thoughts she knew were running through those girls' minds.

Nathan forced a half-smile, wrapped an arm around Haley's waist, and mumbled a quick "thanks."

"Okay, now who are they?" Haley asked, not even bothering to mask the sourness in her voice.

Nathan shrugged. "My new groupies? Maybe I should ask them if they want an autograph."

Haley rolled her eyes at his smirk. "Alright, I think it's time to get you home, Hot Shot."

~x~

"Where's your mom?" Nathan asked as they entered Haley's surprisingly quiet house. He'd gotten used to Lydia being around, her joyous personality translating into 80's music blaring from the stereo or some cooking show playing on the TV at two volumes too loud. Lydia's transformation from the first time he met her in the hospital—pale skin, sunken eyes, lifeless smile and all—was remarkable.

"She's at work," Haley answered, tossing a smile over her shoulder and slipping her cheer bag off her shoulder.

Nathan's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

Haley nodded happily as she pried open the fridge, grabbing two bottles of water. "Her psychologist cleared her for work. She's on restrictive duty, so she can only go on local trips that last no longer than two days and she's limited on the hours she can work a week, but it's a start."

Nathan smiled at the way Haley talked about her mom. She was beaming with pride, something he hadn't see from her regarding Lydia. He slid into one of the stools by the counter and graciously took the water bottle from her. "You sound happy about that."

"Yeah, I am," Haley sighed contently. "I think the sooner that she returns to her normal routine, the better."

"Well, I'm happy for you, Hales."

Haley eyed him suspiciously, mostly out of mockery, but also out of curiosity. "You're being…extra cheesy today."

Nathan shrugged. "I'm in a good mood, I guess."

Haley hoisted herself onto the kitchen counter and re-screwed the cap of her water bottle. "Well, in the effort of possibly maintaining that good mood, are we ever going to talk about this sports' agent thing?"

Nathan tore his gaze from Haley and refocused his eyes on the label around his water bottle. "I don't think there's anything to talk about."

He was downplaying it, he knew. Being approached by a scout of any kind was a big deal. It's what most athletes strived for and once upon a time, he had the same dream. His priorities had shifted over the years, from making it to the NBA to just simply surviving. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about playing basketball professionally again over the years, but it was never a substantial thought.

It ignited a small fire inside of him, but he felt safer at keeping it subdued.

"This is your future, Nathan!" Haley exclaimed. "Do you remember what you told me on our first date?"

"To be honest…I don't remember much of our first date, another than the fact that I just knew I was falling in love with you."

Her mouth hinged open. She wasn't expecting him to slip that kind of answer into their conversation and he successfully threw her off balance, something he was notorious for doing.

"Not uh, you're not gonna charm your way out of this conversation, babe."

"Is it still called being charming if I'm telling the truth?"

"Nathan!"

He sighed in defeat as he sat back. "Look, Hales, I know that it's a big deal. But I just…it's kind of blurry to me right now. For a kid who didn't think he had a future up until a few weeks ago, it's a lot to take in and I can't just suddenly focus all of my attention on my future."

"I know," Haley murmured. "But I also know that you have some serious talent. I see that look in your eyes every time you get a basketball in your hands. I would hate for you to miss out on being happy because you're too scared or you're too…nonchalant about your future."

She paused a beat to regain her breathe.

"You're destined for great things, Nathan Scott."

"So are you, Haley James," Nathan shot back, his lips lifted in a rugged smirk.

She was so fired up about this. Her eyes were alight and her cheeks were rosy. Her love and belief in him was honestly the biggest aphrodisiac. It also helped that she looked sexy as hell in that cheerleading uniform. The skirt showed off just enough skin to drive him crazy and the spandex hugged her curves in all the right places.

He knew she was going to look hot as hell in that uniform…but damn, that was an understatement.

Nathan slipped off the stool and placed himself in-between Haley's parted legs. He skimmed the palm of his hands over her bare thighs and smirked when she shivered. "You know, it should be illegal how sexy you look in this uniform."

With a fire igniting inside of her, Haley tossed an arm around his broad shoulders as her fingers played with the buttons on his dusty blue dress shirt. Leave it to Nathan to change the subject by attempting to seduce her. And it might just work.

"I could say the same thing about how you look out on that court."

He rested his hands on the curve of her waist and leaned his forehead against hers. "You're always the one telling me that we'll figure things out and that everything is going to be okay. And I've believed you every time. So, believe me when I say that I'll figure it out. I just need some time."

Haley looked up at him through her thick eyelashes and tightened her arms around his neck. "You are seriously so sexy when you talk like that."

He dipped his head down to capture her lips in a soft kiss. He intended it to be soft and gentle, but Haley had other ideas. Her fingers snaked into his hair and she yanked at the strands, pressing her mouth more aggressively to his.

"I want to show you something," She gasped into his mouth, wrenching herself away from him after a couple of intense moments.

Through hooded eyes, Nathan nodded weakly. How she expected him to concentrate on anything else than her lips after she kissed him like that…he'd never understand. He stumbled backwards just the slightest bit when she gave him a light shove.

He watched in rapture as she reached for the edge of her cheer top and slowly began to lift it off her body.

"A girl's gotta rep her man in some way," She purred as she successfully pulled her top and sports bra from her body. Gracefully, she dropped it beside her and bit her lip as she waited for Nathan's reaction.

He didn't think it was possible for Haley to get any sexier…but damn, was he wrong. His body temperature spiked a hundred degrees and the lust coursing through his veins threatened to burn him alive.

Nathan couldn't take his eyes off the small black, white, and blue "23" painted just below her left breast. The dark colors stood out perfectly against her pale skin and he felt his mouth water at the sight. The rough pad of his thumb brushed over it and he watched in satisfaction as her skin prickled from his touch.

"That is by far the hottest thing I have ever seen," Nathan murmured huskily. Without a moment's hesitation, he attached his lips to the soft skin. Haley's back bowed in response as she buried her fingers in his thick hair.

"Nathan." Her moans were breathy, and drawn out. She figured his reaction would be something like that, but it still had her weak in the knees.

"I want you…now," Nathan panted against her slick skin. "I can't…fuck. How long until your mom gets home?"

Haley almost whimpered out-loud at the way Nathan seemed to be fighting for control, his self-control clearing waning thin. The effect she had on him still amazed her and she doubt that it would ever go away.

Glancing over her shoulder, she bit her lip when she saw the time. "About twenty minutes."

A lopsided smile caught Nathan's lips. "That's plenty of time."


	29. Chapter 29

First things first, I am so sorry that it took me this long to update! End of the semester = chaos.

Secondly, it's hard to believe that 1) I posted the first chapter of this story over a year ago. I was hoping to be finished with this entire thing before I hit the year mark, but life happens. 2) Speaking of the finishing this story, there are only 2 chapters left, this one and then the epilogue! I know originally I said there were three chapters left, but I did some revising, but anyway. Crazy right? I have such mixed feelings about ending this story. I'm glad to be done because I can focus my attention on other projects, but I'm also sad because I've grown really attached to this version of these characters. Alright, I'll stop before I get way too emotional.

Time for me to be brutally honest about this chapter...I kind of feel as if it's a little anti-climatic and it was incredibly hard to write. I think this was a sign that I need to stop writing stories with such brutal and annoying villains, especially ones where it seems that their goal is to be life-threatening. It was just hard because I didn't want this story to seem too much like Razor Sharp. I kind of put myself in a tight spot with trying to make this chapter intense but also trying to avoid copying my own story, haha. This was a very unnecessary ramble, but I've never shied away from being open and honest about my writing process...so why stop now?

And for those of you saying that you want more Naley fluff...spoiler alert, the epilogue will probably give you a cavity.

 **P.S. Totally jumped the gun and already posted the prologue to my new story "Hell on a Highway." You should check it out :)**

* * *

"Are we ready?"

Nathan wanted to scream. He wanted to run.

His chest was tight and he felt like he couldn't breathe. A shooting pain had him shaking in his seat. The last four years had been leading up to this moment and Nathan still wasn't sure if he was ready. It was do or die. It was freedom or prison. There was so much that could go wrong, and only one thing that could go right.

His eyes cut to Haley and the pain in his chest worsened.

She'd been relatively calm throughout this entire thing, outwardly, that is. It had been her idea to offer herself up, something Nathan had argued plenty against. He lost that argument when Haley grabbed his hands and looked him dead in the eyes when she told him that she was doing this with or without him. He never thought he would find someone who loved him as much as she did and he was finally learning not to question that.

Haley kept her head held high and every time he could feel himself slipping, she was right there, reassuring him that everything was going to be okay. Even though her words were positive, he could see that flicker of unease in her eyes. She was being strong…for him, even though he was certain her mind was running wild.

"As ready as we can be," Brooke said quietly, shakily. She looked sickly pale, but oddly at ease at the same time.

Lucas rubbed his sweaty palms against the coarse fabric of his jeans as he sat up on the couch. He looked worn out, his eyes sunken in and skin blotchy—tell-tale signs that he was both mentally and physically exhausted.

"Let's run through this one more time," Lucas mumbled tiredly. "Just to be sure. We can't afford any mistakes."

Nathan swallowed hard as he took in the anxiety-stricken faces of his friends. Their jittery movements, darting eyes, and fear slipping into even their most mundane conversations had Nathan jumping in his own skin. The guilt threatened to eat him alive and the words "forget it. Let me handle this myself" were resting on the tip of his tongue. Haley would probably scold him with fire-y eyes and lips pressed into a thin line. He could already hear her telling him that he wasn't alone in this and his friends wouldn't have offered to help if they didn't truly want to.

No matter how much time went by and how much help he got, he was sure that guilt would never fully go away.

"Nathan goes inside the pool house just as Damien starts preparing to send out his next shipment. That's when he'll be the most distracted, right, Nate?"

Nathan nodded wordlessly. His mouth was too dry to even think about forming coherent sentences.

"Jake and I will sneak Haley in through the back door while Nathan gives him the proposition and leads Damien to the smoke room. Once he sees Haley, Nathan will distract him, we'll sneak Haley out, Nathan will lock Damien in that room, and Peyton or Brooke will call the cops."

"Are we sure there isn't a way we can do this without Haley having to step foot in that pool house?" Peyton asked carefully.

Nathan's jaw clenched visibly. He'd been asking himself that question. The last few nights had been sleepless as he tried to come up with some other way that would keep Haley far away from Damien. Every second that ticked by without another idea felt like a knife twisting in his stomach.

"I know Damien. He won't go for it unless he physically sees Haley," Nathan croaked painfully. It hurt to talk with how raw his throat felt.

Brooke sighed loudly as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Are we sure this is going to work? I mean, what if the cops show up and just let him go?"

"They won't," Nathan muttered. "There are enough drugs his smoke room to land him in jail for at least 15 years. Once he's arrested and I come forward with the evidence I have, he'll be lucky if he ever sees sunlight again." _Or so I hope._

"There are two things we have to remember," Jake spoke up. Surprisingly, he had been the one to really take the reins on this whole operation. He was the most rational and level-headed out of all of them. He was always careful, in things he did and the words he said. "One—not to call the cops too soon. Brooke, Peyton, you have to make you wait for Nathan's signal and once he gives it, you don't waste even a second. Calling them too early gives Damien a chance to run and not calling them soon enough puts at even more risk."

"Secondly, we get Haley out of there as soon as possible. We can't give Damien even a fraction of a chance of getting to her."

Nathan reached for Haley's hand when a shiver shot through her, albeit her expression remained blank. It was times like this where he wished he could read her mind.

It was another hour or so before they all decided they couldn't do any more planning. They'd already exhausted all of their options and knew the plan front to back and back to front. Nathan watched with acute eyes as each other his friend's left his apartment, soaking in every detail of them as if that was the last time he'd ever see them. He knew he shouldn't have been thinking that way, but it felt impossible not to.

He vaguely heard Lucas mumble something about getting in the shower, but his attention was fixated on Haley. Her bottom lip had slipped between her teeth as she closed the door behind Peyton. Her glossy eyes peered back at him and he felt his heart break at the look on her face. Raw emotion came to the surface and he said what was on both of their minds.

"I don't like this, Hales," Nathan said as he dropped his tired body down on a bar stool. His shoulders were slumped and his anxiety was coming off him in waves.

Haley slipped herself in-between his legs and curled her arms around his neck. Instinctively, his arms shot up to wrap around her waist and pull her further into him. Leaning forward, she brushed her lips across his.

Words failed her. Usually, she knew just what to say to calm his fears, but with emotions running high and her own fears clouding her mind, she felt helpless. She never liked to think about negative aspects of a situation, but this felt too serious not to.

"If anything happens to you, I'll lose my mind," He murmured hoarsely, his grip on her tightening.

The emotion in his voice had tears springing to her eyes. It hits her all at once—how much she truly loved him, how she would go to the ends of the Earth just to see him smile, how he was, without a doubt, the best thing to ever come into her life. Intense thoughts like that always left her breathless.

"Nothing is going to happen to me," Haley said softly, cupping the back of his neck and drawing the pads for her thumbs along the lines of his face.

"You don't know that," Nathan gruffly responded.

She smiled weakly at him and felt her heart sink in her chest. "I do know that because we have both been through far too much for it to end now. We've already beaten so many odds, baby. We can beat this, too."

He looked at her in awe and disbelief. Despite his fears, looking at her grounded him. Her soft voice, kind eyes, and warm touch brought him some kind of peace—the first gasp of fresh air after being held underwater. That amazed him. _She_ amazed him.

"How…how can you be strong about this? How are you not scared?"

The fear in his eyes sliced through her. She didn't think there was anything she _could_ say to quell his fears and she didn't want to lie to him, either.

"I am scared," Haley admitted in a breathy whisper. "But I'm scared for me. I'm scared for _you_."

His forehead crinkled in confusion. "Me?"

Giving him a watery smile, she pressed her forehead against his. "If anything happens you, I'll lose my mind," She declared, reciting his earlier words.

There was a tiny hint of a fruitless smile etching his features. His fingertips brushed over the delicate curves of the back of her thighs, rising up until the slipped through the belt loops on her jeans. He tugged them gently until the remaining distance between them was gone.

"What happened to 'nothing's going to happen?'" He tried to insert some kind of humor into his voice, but instead, his words came out strangled and dry.

"We're both going to be fine," Haley corrected, running her fingers through his short hair. "But that doesn't mean that I can't worry."

She sighed, her voice cracking a little.

"I know I haven't been around since the beginning of this…this mess, but I can see how much this has hurt you. And I know that you're terrified out of your mind what's going to happen tomorrow. But you've always been a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for and no matter what happens, you're going to be okay."

"I hope that one of these days I can believe in myself as much as you believe in me."

Haley just smiled and kissed him quick.

"Come on, let's try and get some sleep," Haley said softly, pulling away from him. She kept her hands in his and slowly yanked him off of the bar stool.

"What about your mom? Didn't she say, 'no sleepovers'?"

"Her rules _always_ have exceptions," Haley whispered with a twinkle in her eye.

~x~

The water was searing hot, but it felt good beating down on his skin. The steam was borderline suffocating him, which twistedly, he didn't see as a bad thing.

He'd been lying in bed for the last two hours, but genuine sleep wouldn't find him. He dozed off for a half hour, only to be jolted away by a dream that made his blood run cold. Nathan was no stranger to nightmares. They haunted him almost every night for the past few years. But this dream wasn't like anything he'd experienced before. It was so life-like…so real, that it had him questioning what was real and what wasn't when he finally opened his eyes.

Haley's lifeless body was all he saw whenever he closed his eyes, even if it was just for a second.

He'd never felt so helpless before, watching as Damien wrapped his hands around Haley's throat. The fear in her eyes and her cries for help made him physically ill. He desperately tried to reach her, but it seemed like she was getting further and further away no matter how much he ran. His throat felt like someone had stuck a hot iron down it with how much he was screaming.

When he jumped awake, he almost cried when he saw that Haley was still lying next to him. But things were still hazy like he was still dreaming. His chest was tight and he felt like he couldn't breathe. His skin felt like ice, yet covered in a slick sweat. He was seconds away from a raging panic attack and knew he had to get out of there. Somehow, he ended up in the shower, hoping the warm water would coax him down.

Nathan jumped slightly when he felt to arms wrap around his waist. Turning his head slightly, he relaxed when he saw Haley behind him. He leaned into her more when she began to press the softest kisses against the curve of her shoulder. His eyes fluttered closed as the tension seeped out of his body from the feel of her fingers moving over his skin soothing patterns.

"Did I wake you?" He asked gruffly after a few moments of comfortable silence.

Haley softly shook her head and rested head against his back. "I wasn't asleep. Are you okay?"

Nathan's eyes popped open as remnants of his dream flashed through his mind. He was the farthest thing from okay, but he didn't want to talk. He just needed to get that image out of his head.

She gasped when he unexpectedly turned around and cupped her face in his hands. He pressed her against the shower title and seized her lips in a fierce kiss, eliciting a whimper from her. Her slim fingers curled in his wet hair as she matched his passion.

"Don't ever leave me," He mumbled, kissing the corner of her mouth before trailing a line of wet kisses down the column of her throat. "Please."

His mind is racing with images a lifeless Haley. His hands are roaming her body like he's trying to convince himself that every curve and every inch of skin is real. He has to constantly remind himself that Haley's okay and she's with him. It wasn't a dream, it was reality.

"I'm not going anywhere," She promised breathlessly. She wanted to cry at the dire pain in his voice. It was like he wasn't actually standing in front of her like his mind was miles away. His fingertips were digging so harshly into the flesh of her hips that she was sure she'd have bruises in the morning. But she didn't mind.

Nathan lifted her up and her legs wrapped lowly around his waist. A strangled moan slipped past her lips when he pressed against her just so. The need to be with her…it wasn't just physical. It was like every part of his body and his mind was screaming to be connected with her. Just touching her was enough to calm even his worst fears.

Pressing his forehead against hers, their lips were only centimeters apart.

"I want you, Haley."

She knew what he needed and she was more than happy to give it to him. Her palm caressed his as she willed him to look her in the eyes. When their eyes met, her heartbeat skyrocketed. No one had ever looked at her the way Nathan did.

"I'm right here, Nathan."

Everything after that was a blur. Nathan's movements were desperate and rapid, her back colliding with the shower tile. Her whimpers and Nathan's harsh breathing bounced off the walls. Haley's nails clawed at his back as she fought to keep it together.

"I love you."

That was all Nathan kept repeating and she it to heart every time. It wasn't easy for Nathan to admit his feelings and the fact that he could just openly say he loved her was something should didn't dare take lightly.

Every look and every touch had her heart breaking a little more. He was looking at her and touching her like it was the last time like he was trying to commit every inch of her to memory. Every kiss was filled with such a desperate need to claim her as his that it took her breath away.

Every time that made love…it was intense, but something about this felt different. It felt like he was saying goodbye…just in case.

~x~

The setting sun barely peeked over the roof of the pool house. The orange and purple streaked sky, something that normally would bring Nathan peace, had him gritting his teeth. The looming night sky meant that the moment he was dreading was here.

He tightened his fist on his cell phone in his pocket as he forced himself towards the pool house. His legs felt like cinder blocks and each step felt like a step closer to hell.

As if on autopilot, reached for the door and pushed it open. There was no need for the common courtesy of knocking. Damien probably wouldn't have answered anyway, given that today was a shipment day for him. Unlike normal days, the pool house was quiet. All the lights were turned on, illuminating the discarded ashtrays and bottles of liquor. The smell of weed and bitter tang of beer still hung low in the air—faded but still noticeable.

Nathan's eyes darted to Damien's office. The door was cracked open and Damien's muffled voice could be heard. It sounded like he was on the phone…and he didn't sound happy. Glancing at the nearest clock, he prepared himself for the worst and slowly walked into Damien's office. He wasn't sure he was breathing.

"What the fuck do you want, Scott?" Damien barked only seconds after Nathan opened the door. He barely looked up from all the paperwork on his desk. "I don't have the time to deal with any more of your bullshit today."

Nathan took in a sharp breath of air as he slipped his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "I came to make you a deal."

Damien barked out a short and bitter laugh. "I'm not interested. And even if I were interested, I don't make deals, especially not with people who already owe me."

"This is a deal I think you'll be interested in," Nathan replied. He tried to keep his voice level and lacking emotion. If he appeared nervous or on edge, Damien would know something was up.

For a brief moment, Damien looked up. He seemed to falter for a moment before he went back to going through his paperwork. "Give me one reason why I should I take the time to listen to you."

"Haley," Nathan said simply.

This got Damien's attention. He discarded the paper's he was looking at and focused his attention on Nathan. The sadistic look on his face cut through Nathan like a knife. He just wanted to smack that look off his face.

"I'm listening."

Taking a small breath, Nathan pushed forward. "You can have Haley…for whatever you want…and then you consider my debt paid in full."

One corner of Damien's mouth quirked up as he pushed himself away from his desk. Standing up, he walked over to Nathan. "You're willing to give her up?"

Nathan nodded.

"Huh, really?"

Nathan could tell that Damien wasn't quite buying it, just as he suspected he would. "Yeah. In fact, Haley's already here."

Damien seemed surprised by that. "How did you manage to get her here?"

"Kicking and screaming," Nathan murmured as she tried to pull off a cocky smirk. "Come on, I'll take you to her."

Walking into the smoke room, Nathan breathed unevenly at Haley standing there. She was looking down timidly, but her head shot up at the sound of them entering the room. Her expression was blank—this whole experience made Nathan realize that she was the Queen of the Poker Face—but she was nervously wringing her hands together.

"Wow, you weren't shittin' me," Damien laughed.

"Told you."

Damien strolled over to Haley and she held her breath. A chill ran through her when he brushed his fingers along her cheek.

"You're even in more beautiful in person," Damien said huskily and Haley resisted the urge to gag. "Mmm, I can't wait to see how you taste."

Nathan wanted to wring his neck. He clenched his fists at his side and tried to meld himself to the floor. _Come on, prick, turn away from her for just one second._

In a flash, Damien's sick and perverted smile was gone, only to be replaced with one of hellish intentions. Before anyone could react, Damien had his hand wrapped around Haley's forearm. She let out a sharp yelp of pain and Nathan tensed.

"But, I think I have a better idea," He said, smirking in a way that had Nathan clenching his fists.

"I figured out the perfect revenge," Damien snarled.

And just like that, their plan was ruined.

He whipped Haley around so that she was standing in front of him, his chest to her back. His left arm was banded around her neck, just tight enough so he was barely choking her.

Nathan's heart, which had been beating a mile a minute, froze when Damien pulled a gun out from his back pocket. Using the pad of his thumb, he released the safety and pressed the barrel to Haley's head. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lucas and Jake lurking in the shadows. With a discreet shake of his head, he warned them off. He couldn't afford to put even more people in danger.

All the blood drained from Nathan's face at the sight. Haley was clawing at Damien's arm, squirming to get free. Tears streamed effortlessly from her eyes. The fear in her eyes almost brought him to his knees.

This was his absolute worst nightmare come to life.

He knew the risks of their plan and even though he felt it in his gut that there was no way they could pull this off, he was rendered helpless. He wished to God that he was the one with the gun pressed to his head. Why did he ever let Haley talk him into allowing her to help him?

"Killing her in front of you…that's the perfect revenge. You'll get to watch the life drain from her eyes and I'll get to watch you fall apart," Damien drawled and Nathan winced when he heard Haley whimper.

"Damien…," Nathan breathed out. "Please."

Damien laughed wickedly. There was no sign of life in his eyes. They were cold and emotionless. He wasn't human. He was pure evil.

"I never pegged you as the begging type, Scott," He snickered. "You really thought I was stupid, didn't you?"

Nathan swallowed hard but almost choked over the lump in his throat. Damien's smirk meant that he wanted to play games. He had to proceed with caution because Damien didn't lose.

"You tried to act like Haley was just another bitch to you. 'She means nothing to me.' Oh, bullshit! You never were a good liar. I saw the way you looked at her. I saw the way you jumped to defend her honor any chance you got. I _watched_ you fall in love with her. But you played me like a fool."

Nathan straightened his posture and pressed his lips into a hard line. Bile rose in his throat and it took everything in him to not throw up. He fought not to show any sign of emotion, even though his eyes kept drifting over to Haley every few seconds.

Damien glanced down at Haley and hauled her more against him, his grip on her strengthening. She let out a strangled yelp and Nathan almost lunged.

"I should have just killed her that day at your apartment, but I figured that would be too easy. I wanted to make you stir. I wanted to see what kind of stupid plan you would come up with. I gotta say, I didn't think you were stupid enough to bring Haley here. You really made this too easy," He muttered. "So, how should I do this? The head? Quick and easy death?"

"Damien, please, I'll do anything," Nathan murmured. He suddenly felt exactly how he did when he found his mom lying beneath a burning beam. His world was a trigger pull away from being ripped apart again…and this time he knew he wouldn't survive. He'd heard of people dying of grief, but he wouldn't even make to the grieving part. He'd die on the spot, there's no way he wouldn't.

"You're in no position to do any bargaining," Damien growled. "I've already given you enough chances. As I was saying…head? Or maybe the heart?"

Nathan looked at Haley and her goodbye was clear on her face. He felt the ground shake beneath him and he stumbled until he fell against the nearest wall. He sunk to the ground, slowly. He didn't even try to hide the hot tears spilling down his cheeks. His knees were against his chest and his hands were in his hair. His eyes never left Haley's.

"I'm so sorry," Nathan croaked out. "I'm so fucking sorry."

"Nathan," Haley cried. She wanted nothing more than to run over to him and to pull her into his arms. This wasn't his fault and she didn't blame him for one bit. It was then that she realized the extent of what it meant to love someone. She was okay with dying…if that meant he was finally free. Her tears weren't for her, his tears were for him.

"I love you," He called out. "You're the only girl I'll ever love."

"Aw, ain't that just the sweetest—"

A loud bang rang out. Then there was a bunch of shouting and a bunch of fully suited police officers came barreling through the door. Nathan jumped up and threw his hands in the air when an officer whipped around, pointing a gun at him.

"Let the girl go and put the gun down," One of the men demanded.

There had to be at least ten of them, all carrying guns of high caliber. Nathan wasn't sure, but he was almost certain some of them were wearing "SWAT" vests.

"You have 5 seconds to let her go," The man repeated. "Hunter, you have a shot?"

"Yes, sir," Another voice spoke up.

Everything happened so fast. The one officer started counting down from 5 when Damien made a sudden move. A gunshot rattled the small room, followed by Haley's sharp scream. The gun slipped out of his hands as his fell to the ground…almost in slow motion.

Two officers moved over to Damien and Nathan vaguely heard them reading him his rights. Nathan didn't bother to check where Damien was shot or if he was even still breathing, the only thing that mattered was that Haley was still alive. And so was he.

Locking eyes, Haley launched herself in his arms, tears streaming down her face. Nathan squeezed her tighter than he ever had and buried his head in the crook of her neck. He immediately felt her tears hit his skin and his own eyes watered in response. Sirens and anxious chatter suddenly felt like it was a million miles away. The reality of the situation hadn't fully sunk in yet, but he couldn't deny the lightness he felt in his heart, something he couldn't ever remember feeling.

"Shh, baby, it's okay. It's over. It's over."


	30. Epilogue

In case you were missing it, my long author's note can be found at the end :)

* * *

 _Four Months Later…_

"I cannot believe you're graduating," Karen said tearfully as she entered the kitchen, the commencement ceremony tickets in her hands.

Nathan looked up, a teasing smile on his face. "You make it sound like you had zero faith in me."

With the tickets still in her hand, Karen swatted at the back of Nathan's hand. "I always had faith in you, you know that."

"I do," Nathan mumbled, suddenly sobering. "I want you to know how thankful I am for everything that you've done for me over the years. I feel like I haven't said it enough."

Keith narrowed his eyes as he reached for a mug and poured some coffee into it. "You want something…what is it?"

Nathan just nervously laughed.

When they had got their commencement tickets, Nathan had requested that he be the one to deliver them to Keith and Karen…alone. Luckily, Lucas hadn't questioned him about his odd request and just handed over the tickets. He had something important to talk to them about and he wanted to keep it on the down-low as much as possible.

Just at the thought of what he came there to do, his knee started to bounce.

"What's on your mind, Nate?" Keith asked as stirred his coffee and placed the spoon in the sink. "You seem…extra keyed up."

 _This is it._

Nathan couldn't recall a time where he'd ever been so nervous and he knew that it was only bound to get worse. Running his sweaty palms along the length of his jean-clad thighs, he took in a shaky breathy. "There's…actually, another reason why I stopped by tonight."

Karen, her motherly instincts immediately kicking in, sat up straighter in her chair and reached for Nathan's hand. "Is everything okay?"

He smiled shakily and quickly nodded his head. "Yeah. It's more than okay, actually."

Keith chuckled as he claimed the seat next to Karen. "Then what is it? You're starting to freak us out, kid."

"I want to ask Haley to marry me," Nathan finally blurted out. His heart was slamming in his chest and their blank expressions weren't helping to curb his nerves. "I know we're young—we're just graduating high school and we still have our whole lives ahead of us, but I've never been surer of anything in my life. Haley…she's it for me, I just know it. I know that you must think I'm crazy—"

"No," Karen quickly intervened. She glanced over at Keith with an adoring smile on her face. "We don't think you're crazy."

"You're just in love," Keith said, a matching smile on his face.

Nathan couldn't stop his smile even if he tried. "I am. So much. You both have done so much for me over the years and I felt that it was only right if I asked for your opinion."

"Wait here," Karen mumbled as she slid out of her chair. Nathan was almost positive she had tears in her eyes.

Nathan could feel his nerves dissipate a little at Keith and Karen's warm reception to his idea. It wasn't like he was expecting them to be against it, but it still felt good to know that he had people on his side and that he wasn't, in fact, crazy. Marriage was never something Nathan thought about. When he'd actually reached the age where thinking about your future was normal, his life was weighed down so heavily with tragedy and drama that thinking about the future was the last thing on his mind.

That was until he met Haley. Before her, his future didn't exist. He couldn't see himself surviving high school or moving on to a better and fuller life. Now, not only did he want those things…he needed them.

"Wanna know something?" Keith pondered, breaking Nathan out of his thoughts.

"Sure."

"I knew this day was coming," He answered softly, folding his hands around the coffee cup. "I didn't think it would be this soon, but I figured we'd be having this conversation one day."

Nathan's lips titled slightly upwards in a half-smirk. "Am I that predictable?"

Keith chuckled, mixed in with a quick shake of his head. "I saw the way you were with her when you brought her here for Thanksgiving. You were a goner the moment you Haley, weren't you?"

A very slight, almost dismissible blush crept its way on to Nathan's cheeks. "Yeah," He admitted. Back then, he didn't want to admit to himself there was an obvious connection between them. He fought so hard to keep her away from him, but she always managed to snake her way into his thoughts. He realized now that he never stood a chance.

"As soon as you guys left that night, I told Karen that she was it for you," Keith continued. His voice was low, but full of conviction. "I knew because you reminded me so much of myself and how I was when I first met Karen."

Nathan's heart swelled inside his chest. A warmth and calmness spread through his body…that same feeling he got whenever he held Haley's hand or seen her smile. Hearing all these comments about how his love for Haley was so obvious…he couldn't explain how it made him feel.

"Ha, I finally found it," Karen announced as she made her way back into the kitchen. In her hand was a small black velvet box. "I think this is something you'll want to have."

Nathan's forehead creased as Karen passed him the small box. She jutted her head at him as if to say, "open it." Carefully, he peeled back the top and his breath hitched in his throat when he saw what was inside. It was a 3-karat ring, a single diamond in the center and the band embellished with smaller diamonds. He'd know that ring anywhere. It was simple and elegant, just like the person who used to wear it.

"This…this is my mom's wedding ring," Nathan finally said breathlessly. He looked up at Karen and Keith with a bewildered look on his face.

Karen nodded her confirmation. "The police were able to recover it from the fire. Unfortunately, they found it a couple of days after the funeral, so they just gave it to me as a remembrance. I've been holding on to it…for this very reason."

Karen paused to gather her thoughts, while Nathan was too in shock to speak. She quickly swiped away the few stray tears that had fallen from her eyes.

"Your mother would have loved Haley and I know that she would be honored if that ring went to her."

"I…I don't know what to say," Nathan finally choked out. His eyes never once left the ring. It seemed to glisten in the light, almost like it had just been freshly polished. He couldn't imagine anyone else wearing that ring other than Haley.

"I think your expression says all that I need," Karen laughed softly. "Obviously, you're going to have to get it re-sized so it fits Haley perfectly…but it's a start."

"I don't even know if she's going to say yes," Nathan huffed out lightly. For the most part, he was joking. But there was also a small part of him that wondered if maybe he was jumping the gun. Maybe Haley would think that it was too soon. But just as soon as those thoughts entered his mind, he pushed them aside. Nothing about their relationship had been normal and there was no reason to start now.

"Oh, she's going to say yes," Keith said confidently. "Although, word of advice, I'd probably ask her mom for permission before you ask Haley. It's just the right thing to do."

"Noted."

~x~

Everything was calm. The sound of the crackling fire and occasional crashing of the waves were the only sounds floating through the night air. Brooke's beach house had provided the perfect location for them to celebrate their graduation with a bonfire on the beach and a cooler full of drinks.

Nathan's eyes scanned over his friends. Jake and Brooke, who had finally stopped dancing around the fact that they had feelings for each other, were lying next to each on a blanket. Lucas and Peyton were sitting off to the side, gabbing about some band that they both loved that recently released a new album.

There was a slight sadness in the air as they began to realize that this might be the last time they were all able to be together. Life was pulling them in all separate directions.

Brooke was headed to New York to study fashion at some designer college that he couldn't pronounce even if he tried. Since her acceptance, all Brooke could talk about was how she couldn't wait for A-list celebrities to wear her clothes. But it was obvious that fashion was her calling.

Jake coincidentally got accepted into a medical program at a small, but prestigious, college in New Jersey. He claimed that his reasoning for accepting the offer was because this school had one of the best medical programs in the country, but everyone knew that he just wanted to be as close to Brooke as possible. Everyone knew that they were meant for each other.

Peyton had gotten accepted into an art school in Savannah, Georgia. They were so impressed by her talent that they had given her quite a hefty scholarship. It was an offer that she couldn't refuse.

Surprisingly, Lucas decided to hang his hat on playing basketball, despite interest from both Duke and UNC. His focus was now literature, which something Nathan teased him relentlessly about. But it also fit Lucas, after all, he was the one that spent every minute of his free time reading some novel by some old author Nathan had never heard of.

As for Nathan and Haley, they were headed to a small college in North Carolina, a little place called Gilmore. Haley had ultimately decided that she was going to pursue a degree in English education. Clay, the agent that Nathan had met after one of his games, had got in contact with a college recruiter who was in awe of Nathan's talent. They were able to work out a deal for him to play ball for the Cobras. He didn't hesitate to take the offer.

The last four months had been the most life-changing months for Nathan but in the best way possible.

It started with Damien's trial, which was the most exhausting and emotional draining few weeks of Nathan's life. The trial forced him to relive so many things that he had tried so hard to forget. Damien's lawyer, who was the best money could buy, was relentless, too. He knew exactly how to push Nathan's buttons, sliding in snide comments about his parents and his past in his questioning. There were moments when Nathan thought for sure he was going to snap and wring the lawyer's neck. By some kind of miracle, he was able to keep his emotions in check.

Nathan's first breath of freedom didn't happen until that guilty verdict rang through the courtroom. He's not ashamed to admit that he cried. Every weight that had been holding him down disappeared. It was a cleansing experience…his first taste of freedom in so many years.

He was still seeing his therapist, but he'd made a lot of progress over the months. Now instead of seeing her every week, he only saw her twice a month. At one point, she had prescribed him an antidepressant, which had worked wonders for him. He no longer held back when he talked to her. Her office no longer felt like it was suffocating him. She was always ready to offer help and he was always ready to accept it.

He was happy. Genuinely. And he had the girl sleeping in his arms to thank for that. She had been his anchor, especially during the trial. He wouldn't have survived it all without her. That was only one of the million reasons his mom's ring was still sitting in his pocket. He was just waiting for the perfect moment.

Haley sighed contently as she snuggled up closer to him. Nathan rubbed a hand down her back and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. He finally had everything he didn't know he needed or wanted for that matter.

He must have dozed off because the next thing he knew the fire had burned out and the sky was a dusty purple. The sun was just barely peeking over the horizon. Confusion dawned on him when he realized that Haley was no longer lying next to him on the lounge chair.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he sat up and glanced around. Everyone was still asleep. He slipped out of the lounge chair and started to walk down the length of the beach, in the direction of the one place he had a feeling Haley had escaped to—the one spot on the beach that had been pretty monumental in their relationship.

He smiled when he saw her standing there. Her hair was tasseling about in the slight breeze. Even though he couldn't see her face, he knew she was relaxed, simply enjoying the view that was in front of her. This secluded part of the beach was pure beauty, white sand boarding on perfect green grass. Crystal clear water with unalloyed white froth crashing wave after wave. It was like something out of a movie.

"I figured this is where you disappeared to."

Haley jumped slightly before turning around. A slow smile spread across her face when she saw him standing there. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

Nathan shook his head as he closed the distance between them. "What brings you here?" He asked as he slid his arms around her torso. She turned so her back was facing him as he pulled her into his chest.

"I've always wanted to watch the sunrise on the beach and this seemed like the perfect place to do it," Haley answered quietly. He could hear the smile in her voice.

"You don't mind if I join you, do you?" He teased, brushing a kiss along the curve of her cheek.

"Definitely not."

His heart skipped a beat when she snuggled further into his chest and dragged her fingers over his arm in gentle caresses.

A comfortable silence fell over them as the sun began to peek higher and higher over the horizon. There was something at that moment that seemed to click with Nathan. Maybe it was the way Haley kept sighing contently like there was no other place she'd rather be than in his arms. Or maybe it was the way their hearts seemed to be beating in time with each other. Whatever it was, the ring that was still in his pocket was burning a hole through the fabric.

He felt like he was floating. He knew how much he loved Haley. He felt it every single day. But when the intensity of it all hit him all at once, like it was right now, it took his breath away. It was unbelievably magical.

His grip on Haley tightened as he buried his head in her hair. He brushed his lips along the side of her neck until he reached her ear. "I'm so in love with you," Nathan whispered huskily.

Haley shivered at the conviction laced in his voice. She never doubted how he felt about her, but she still found herself in disbelief that she was lucky enough to be loved by someone as amazing as him. She turned in his arms with her lips curved into a slight smile. "You've been extra sweet today, not that I'm complaining, but you're starting to make me nervous."

He swallowed hard as he gently grabbed both of her hands. His thumbs moved over the back of her hands in slow circles, matching the base of his breathing as he tried to remain in control.

"Nathan?" She asked softly, divots of confusion wrinkling her brow. She couldn't explain the look on his face and it was starting to make her nervous.

He shot her a small smile. "Promise me you won't interrupt me until I'm done?"

She looked at him with unease but nodded anyway.

There was a feeling inside of Nathan that he couldn't explain. It was like a mixture of feeling at ease and safe, but also feeling like he was teetering on the edge of a cliff. Words have never come easy to him, but the ones he's about to say…they're the easiest and truest thing he had ever said.

His voice was strong and steady, gaining more sincerity with every passing word.

"When I first met you, I was barely…living. I woke up every day with this weight in my heart and didn't care enough to try and fix myself. I was spiraling out of control…until I met you."

He watched as her confusion melted into bewilderment and it only spurred him on further.

"The first time I laid eyes on you, I knew you were going to change my life. And then the first time you smiled, I swear something inside of me cracked wide open. I was never the same after that. I tried so hard to push you away because I was scared out of mine. You made me feel things that I didn't think were possible and the last thing I wanted to do was drag someone as amazing as you into my sinkhole of a life. But no matter what I did…I couldn't get you off my mind."

Haley felt tears spring to her eyes. He was looking at her so tenderly and she used to wonder if someone would ever look at her that way…like she was the best thing to ever happen to them.

"Before I knew it, I had fallen completely in love with you."

He paused to take a calming breath. His heart was beating against his chest like the wings of a trapped bird.

"It still takes my breath away when I think about you and how lucky I am to be loved by you. Your selflessness, the way you love with all your heart, your strength…God, Haley…you saved my life. I wouldn't have survived the last six months with you and now that I know what life with you is like, I don't want to ever lose you."

"You're not going to," Haley promised tearfully. "I'm not going anywhere, Nathan."

He only squeezed her hands in response.

Haley's hand flew to her mouth as she watched him drop to one knee. He reached into his back pocket and her heartbeat accelerated, even more, when he revealed a small black box. The tears that had been piling in her eyes had sprung free. Her knees almost gave out.

Every ounce of nerves had evaporated from Nathan. This was right. He just knew it was.

"You're it for me. There is nothing else in this world that matters more than you. So…Haley James, will you marry me?"

Haley didn't have to think about her answer. They were young, she knew. Their lives were just beginning and there were bound to be more challenges they'd have to fight through. But she didn't want to go through those experiences without him or with anyone else. Without hesitation, she yanked him off the ground and flung her arms around his neck. She kissed him fiercely as the tears continued to pour down her cheeks.

"Is that a yes?" Nathan laughed against her lips, holding her close by the waist.

She pulled away and gave him a watery smile. "That's a hell yes."

Genuine happiness raced through Nathan. It still took him by surprise when he felt that kind of happiness. He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to it. It felt like two perfect puzzle pieces finally fitting into place.

Nathan pulled away just enough to slip the ring on to her finger. His heart bloomed in his chest when he noticed how perfectly in fit…like it was meant for her all along.

"It's beautiful, Nathan," Haley squeaked, admiring the ring.

Nathan gently wiped away the tears from under her eyes. "It was my mom's wedding ring."

Her gaze snapped up, another wave of emotion coming over her. "Nathan…"

He brought his other hand to her face to cradle her head. His calloused thumbs brushed along the tender skin beneath her eyes. "She would have loved for you to have it and there's no one else I'd ever give it to you."

If it was even possible, she felt herself fall even more in love with him. His mother's ring…the meaning behind that was so completely overwhelming and suffocating in the best way possible.

"God, I love you," Haley declared as she leaned up to kiss him again.

This kind of love they had…it was earth-shattering. It was intoxication. It was perfect in every single way.

"My mom is going to freak out when I tell her," Haley laughed when they broke apart, her eyes returning to the ring that had now taken homage on her left hand. It felt and looked right.

"Actually," Nathan began with a smirk. "I think she might be anxiously awaiting your arrival back home…camera already in hand."

Haley's head flicked up. "She knew you were gonna do this?"

Nathan nodded proudly. "I might have asked her permission beforehand."

Haley's mouth fell open. "You really thought of everything, didn't you?"

"I guess you could say that."

~x~

They walked hand-in-hand through the quiet cemetery. Streams of sunlight peeked in through spaces between the trees and a few chirping birds could be heard in the distance. It was a perfect summer day—a clear blue sky and flowery smell in the air.

A small smile crossed Haley's face when Nathan squeezed her hand, his thumb brushing over the ring on her finger. His grip was strong, but she immediately noticed how un-tense he seemed. The usual worry lines on his face were distant shadows, fading scars of the troubles that were. It seemed as if every time they came to the cemetery, Nathan became more and more at ease with it.

Nathan's therapist had suggested that he try going to see his parents more often, claiming that it might help him alleviate some of the guilt he was carrying around. He was unsure about it at first. Visiting the cemetery was always the hardest thing for him. While he felt the loss of his parents throughout even the most mundane tasks of his everyday life, sometimes it felt as if he was becoming complacent to their absence, but seeing their name carved into stone felt like he was being thrown back into a harsh reality.

Haley was originally only supposed to accompany him during his first trip. But he quickly found that her being there was exactly what he did need and want. They had conversations with his parents that imagined would be the same if they were still alive.

Finally reaching the end of a familiar path, they took their spots on the ground in between the two headstones. Everything about it felt so natural at this point. The ache in their hearts was still there—Nathan's for his parents and Haley for all of them. That was never going to go away, but it became easier.

The conversation was light—quick recaps of their days, brief synopses about wedding planning, and updates about their prepping for college. It amazed Haley just how much progress Nathan had made since she first met him, especially over the course of the last five months. Gone was his guilt, replaced with his acceptance.

Once the conversation had died down, Haley did what she always did when they did this.

Haley patted his thigh in comfort as she pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "I'll give you some time alone."

Nathan tipped his head in a quick nod and squeezed her hand before she picked herself up off the ground. Mumbling a quick "I love you", she turned on her heels and headed back towards his car. He kept his gaze fixated on her until she disappeared behind a small hill, the smile on his face stretching from ear to ear.

"I know what you're thinking, Dad," Nathan started after a few moments of silence. "I'm whipped, but you can save your breath, Uncle Keith has already teased me enough about it."

He laughed to himself as a slight breeze brushed past him. Propping his knees up, he loosely wrapped his arms around them. He sighed softly before continuing to speak.

"I say this every time…but I miss you guys. I can't imagine a day that I won't."

The tone of his voice in somber, but it's lacking that dark and angry edge that it used to.

"But I know I'm going to be okay," He declared. "I have Haley, who you know is absolutely incredible. God, I know you guys would just love her. I have friends who I'd take a bullet for and vice versa. I get to play basketball still. I get to marry the love of my life. It finally feels like I can breathe again."

He took another pause to gather his thoughts.

"I just have to say this," Nathan muttered, more to himself than anything. The pain in his chest was dull, almost dismissible. It wasn't nearly as crippling as it used to be. "I've struggled…so much with what happened. I blamed myself and wished to God that the roles were reversed. There was even a time where I convinced myself that you blamed me, too. You can stop shaking your head at me, Mom."

A small chuckle covered up the crack in his voice.

"I realize now how wrong I was. I guess you could finally say that I've forgiven myself. And I never thought I'd say this…but it feels good. I'm, dare I say it...happy."

* * *

Can you believe that this is the end of Colors? This story had become such a huge part of my life...I'm sad to see it end. But I'm also excited to finally get to work on some other projects that I have going! Thank you to everyone who took the time to read (and review!) this story. Every alert meant the world to me. Like I did for Razor Sharp, I'll leave you with a few interesting fun facts/anecdotes about this story!

-It's not mentioned in this chapter, but that spot on the beach where Nathan proposed was the same spot that he realized he was in love with Haley. That's where she went when everything happened with her mom and Nathan found her in the pouring rain. Nathan was supposed to mention that in his little speech...but I struggled so much with finding the perfect place for it. It just felt kind of random and out of place no matter where I put it.

-The first scene I had written for this entire story was actually when Haley first told Nathan that she was in love with him. I had that written before I even had the first sentence of the first chapter written. It was that scene that I had basically built this entire story around.

-Originally, Nathan and Haley were supposed to have an even slower burn than they actually had. Nathan was supposed to struggle a lot more with his feelings for her, but as I was writing him, he seemed to grow as a character faster than I expected. Besides, I was a little scared of drawing the beginning of their relationship out too much.

-Rachel was supposed to have a bigger part of the story. I was going to have her cause some drama between Nathan and Haley and have her being work closer with Damien, but honestly just never got around to writing it in. It was always in the back of my mind, but obviously, that didn't work out.

-When Nathan first decided to "join" Damien again, I was going to have him go through a relapse where he reverted back to using drugs. However, at that point in the story, I felt as if Nathan had already developed too much and him going back to his old ways would almost be unrealistic.

-This is going way back to the beginning, but I had originally planned Haley to actually tutor Damien but to be frank, I didn't want to go through the bullshit of writing that, hahaha.

Well, I think that's it. Thank you all again and if you're a fan of my writing, look out for new things coming soon! I already have the prologue up to my new story and I'll be posting the first chapter soon. Plus, I got a few more things up my sleeve ;)


	31. Quick Note

Obviously, this story has ended...or has it?

I've been entertaining the idea to write a sequel to Colors for a while now, which explains this extra little author's note. Personally, I feel as if Nathan and Haley's story in this universe isn't finished, yet. I feel like there is a lot left to dive into. But, I'm leaving it up to you guys! I don't want to write something if there is no interest or if it seems unnecessary and I'm just jumping the gun.

So, should I write a sequel or leave it be?


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